A Year of Worship

Haifaa Younis


Channel: Haifaa Younis

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The speakers discuss their experiences as a woman and their belief in the Bible, as well as the importance of mental health and physical health for their spiritual health and well-being. They stress the need for affirming oneself and pursuing therapy, as well as the importance of finding one's attention and bringing it into prayer. They emphasize the need to protect one's heart and body, practicing "has been a give" to build healthy outcomes, and stop calling "week vac" to focus on changing one's name during events. They also emphasize the importance of practicing "has been a give" to build healthy outcomes and stop calling "week vac" to focus on changing one's name during events.

AI Generated Transcript ©

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Bismillah you're loved man you're walking

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As Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah Allah Molina myInfo. Now one foreigner Vina alum Tina in academia Mooji Buddha Lama niao to become an enemy lionpaw or Camila SHA one FC Latisha Wadhwa in LA you smart are Bonilla to Saku banaba de tener Hublin amulet Ankara inika Intel hub will be strictly solder us Lee Emery Watlow lock the family Sani of Coppola salam alaikum warahmatullah everyone desert como la jolla for joining us Tuesday night program. Welcome to gender Institute. As always, we'd love to hear and Prom you and see where are you joining us from? Today. hamdulillahi rabbil Alameen is another beautiful day

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another beautiful Tuesday and it's give me a great pleasure to have a guest which we love each other for the sake of Allah we meet each other but not that frequent. May Allah make it more frequent. But at hamdulillah Barbara and me, we both share a deep desire she may even share it's more than I do for woman education and spreading the knowledge between woman and empowering woman by making them more knowledgeable gives me great pleasure to introduce Dr. Tamara Gray, who is joining us from Minnesota. share her Tamara is actually the founder of robot which is very well known woman organization education woman organization in the United States. She also holds more she's also a PhD

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recently mashallah Tabata Kala, I think you are an ad grandmother when you took it right, Tamara kala which really gives me even more energy to continue. She's a mother of three masala and she's also grandmother. She's also both faculty, and she serves as both faculty and Academy council member of the stomach Seminary of America. She's also affiliated with the Athene Institute. I think most people have not everybody knows how it gives me great pleasure to have Tamara to have you tonight with us. Welcome. And may Allah subhanaw taala give you more and more and put more Baraka in your efforts your OB I mean,

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wow, it comes down to love. Thank you. Is she her Haifa? I'm so happy to be here with you tonight. Subhanallah it's always a pleasure to be with you in any situation. So I'm very excited about being here.

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Is it can I share this I think I can. By the first time I visited Minneapolis a good friend of me and share her tomorrow. We need to meet her I said I didn't want to meet her and then originally the appointment was a three o'clock Of course my flight was late so I was very tired. So I said please forgive me and I remember and you said this is how a woman should be when they are tired they should see they're tired and they need to sleep.

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And then I shared the beautiful simple meal humbler hero brand So may Allah subhanaw taala make us those who love each other for the sake of

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make everybody listening to us that they love each other for no sake. No reason other companies Allah. So Shaka, Tamara, I live it you shared with us the beautiful plants you want to share her sharing with us today and I will be very happy to listen Bismillah Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim Allah homophone leave us alone. Didn't know when a Vietnam Herman I'm really excited about tonight, because you gave me the opportunity to choose what I want to talk about. And I on January 7, so today is the 11th. On January 7, I celebrated my 37th year as a Muslim. I loved it. Yeah. Hamdulillah. And there's a verse in the Quran that I'm going to talk about tonight. That is the

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reason I became a Muslim 37 years ago. Of course, big decisions in our lives are more complicated than than one verse, but I'm going to tell the story just for a minute before I start talking about the verse itself so everyone can share with me in how much I value it and can understand why I have a an emotional connection to this verse. I was it was 1980 85. So January's we're talking about January 7, so it's really like the beginning of 1985. I had graduated high school in 1984. So this is my first year of university. And I was on the hunt for religion. Chapin law. Yeah, I mean, I, I'm not going to tell the whole story because that would just be too long would take the whole session,

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but I had been a very practicing Christian I had left Christianity

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I was looking for a religion. And I had sort of decided I'm not going to look at some, then I, I changed my mind about that a little bit and decided I'm going to buy a put almost half in English.

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And I did. And I, I had set it on my, like I was sitting down, and I was getting ready to read it. And when I had been a Christian before I used to,

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like close the Bible in front of me and say,

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I want to say this. But of course, I didn't say that because I was

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my mouth, you know, and I would say, you know, guide me to what you want me to read today. Okay, and so I did a similar little prayer before opening the English, almost half that I had in my hands. And that, oh Subhanallah it opened up to sort of verb first 35 in then mostly means the model, Nino, etc. We'll talk about the excetera in a minute.

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And I I mean, I can't explain to you how I was astounded. I was astounded because my my experience with Muslims. And Islam had been that Islam was, I would say disrespectful to women, for a law, of course, at that time, yeah, that's what I had experienced. Of course, I know it's not true. And when reading that verse, the first thought that came into my head was oh,

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I'm wrong. Islam doesn't have a negative attitude towards women.

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Oh, Kamala, the Muslims don't know that.

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And then the next thought is the funniest thought of them all. When I look back, it makes me laugh. They need someone to teach them. Of course, I was thinking about myself. I wasn't even a Muslim yet. I had read one verse of the Quran. And I was like, I'm ready. I'm gonna get out there now. And, you know, how does that is because as a Christian, even though I was so young, I had just turned 18 I was already like, I was a camp counselor, I was teaching people younger than me about our shared religion, etc. Anyway.

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So as well, and today as I was preparing to come, I had like a bunch of different books. I wanted to just review some of the stuff I see it about this particular verse. And it was really like a flashback because every time I know these books, like there's, you don't know which volume to pull off the shelf, sometimes you don't know and then you know, you got to find the right page. I think I pulled off six books, every single one of them opened up immediately.

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Lila Lola was like a memory of that day. Subhan Allah, I was like, Hamdulillah this is what I definitely am supposed to be talking about tonight. So

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you know what this exam is? A lot of people have different opinion about you know, should we give Quran? I am from the opinion. Absolutely. Because so many people just reading the Quran changes them. Subhan Allah, it's not because it's my word. It's his word. Suparna even if it's an English, it's still the meaning is so Subhan Allah, how many people you hear this? So tell me live did this verse duty?

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Oh, well, I mean, that day is that was it like after that I read some more of the Quran. I don't remember what I read. Like I was sort of going through and reading and then I put the most half on the shelf. And I had previous to that I have asked Muslim on my campus for how to pray. That's another part of the story. It's long and so I have with me like how to pray. Okay. And this is all pre Google for your listeners.

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This is there's no Google there's no YouTube.

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There's no Twitter, there's none of that. I just had to figure it out. Um, and so I had like, stick people and I have that. So I put this on the shelf, the most half on the shelf. And then I was afraid like, I got scared. So it's one thing to, to leave a religion and be sure about that something else to commit to a new one, I think. Yes.

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Yeah. And like to be sure, you know, and I was very much the academic type. And this was not an academic place. I was not right now. I was, I was in sort of a I just read a little bit and my heart was beating and what do I do now? You know, like, that. It felt like the truth but wasn't I don't know. So I put them up on the shelf and I got up and I pray to the gods.

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And in the last sujood, I made da Yeah, Allah if this.

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Quran is your words. I mean, that's the way I phrased it and say Allah, I said, Oh God, if this Quran if these are your words, then I'm a Muslim.

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But if not, I need you to tell me

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I really don't want to do this

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so I'm difficult to I mean, I, I listen, I highly I mean, I knew the Quran was gonna Mama, I knew it, I couldn't have explained that to anyone or defended myself or

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that I knew it. You know, I knew the Quran was these are, this is the word of God right here. So I felt an obligation to be a Muslim, like, like I didn't have a choice.

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I don't mean that in this sort of modern way of thinking, I don't have freedom. So like, this is I'm a believer in God, this is the religion he's set for us. So I need to now be a Muslim, that kind of way.

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And so I can listen. I mean, like, that's another story like about how and I thought had become a summons. One person told me no, you can't do it that way, then somebody, you know, that's sort of entering into the community. And that's another whole learning and, and part of the learning process. And that's part of what brought me I suppose, to where I am here today from the law.

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She had was our viewers about now after 20 plus years. What are you seven?

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What does this verse should bring to the woman? Because there is a reason why didn't you know very well, of course, why this verse was revealed.

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It's Russian. Right. So we have a couple of different narrations about

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suburban Newsela. So some of the reason for revelation, just for some background for the listeners, when we're reading put on and we're studying put on one of the things we study is called Sai Baba nosode. And these are loosely translated as the reasons for revelation.

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That's a little bit of a slippery slope, you want to be careful because of course the Quran is for all of us at all time. And it is it is for me, this verse is as much for me now today, as it was for me 37 years ago on January 7, as much as it was a response to the question that was asked that the verse came down about. So the we have one narration that says it was on Selma, and another narration that says it was a smart, nice. And so but in either case, it was the question was asked, Why isn't the Quran speaking about me about women? In one case, the narration says women are at a loss because we haven't been directly spoken about, and the verses revealed. And so how Allah you know, and

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sorry, I'm getting out of the camera there. But the the verse, this verse is really something that is not specifically for women. And that makes it more powerful, because had a verse come down, specifically about women, it would have excluded women in its own way from the rest of the Quran. But in in this way, by reminding women No, no, no, no, no, you're part of this story, you're part of this entire story. This, this verse by using the plural, the masculine plural and the feminine plural, if we're talking about the Arabic language, by using the masculine for plural and the feminine plural in this in the phrase, ology is reminding women that their this entire book is also

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their story. Because in Arabic, and I know, of course, obviously, you know, this, I'm going to share it for the listeners in Arabic, as it was in many languages, even in English 100 years ago, 50 years ago, and even in English 50 years ago, anytime you saw the male pronoun, it meant male and female. And of course, in the English language, now, this is a challenge. This is not necessarily the case anymore, as people are, as language has developed, but in the Arabic language, the there is a different grammatical structure. And as it is a language connected sacred text, the classical language doesn't develop in the same way that modern languages develop. And so the, the masculine

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pronoun, there are three pronouns in Arabic, there's singular, there's plural, and then there's dual. Okay? Something that maybe our listeners might not know. But in the plural, it refers using the masculine plural refers to men and women.

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And in the in the language sense, and so here the fact that it's mostly mean or mostly not male and female, is an emphasis is that here we have 10 qualities 10 qualities that the Muslim needs to build this the Muslim self, let's say, and I have been talking, it's only January, what is it? 11th right now, but as you know, time belongs to Allah.

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I've gotten a little bit of pushback about a Why are you talking about the New Year 2022? Well, because time belongs to Allah and all of us are beneficiaries of time, whether it's a new day or a new year or a new month. And all of us feel when it comes a new year, like, oh, maybe there's a chance for me to do better, there's a chance for me to, in the secular sense, I can lose weight, I can become rich, I get whatever the kinds of habits that people might develop. And so to take advantage of this time, and think what kind of a year do I want 2022 to be for me, is something that's really valuable. And I've been talking about this being the year of worship. And I think this

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verse in particular, teaches us what that means, like how what would it take in two ways on one hand, what do I need to do to make this a year of worship? And and what do I What qualities do I need so that I become a person of worship of the worship of Allah spawn, tada? And then on the other hand, what will be the effect on me? If I make this a year of worship, how will how will that affect me and I also think these 10 qualities are examples of how we will grow and how we will change if we make this a year of worship.

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I want to add one thing is the question the Sahaba, it was one of the companions she whether it is almost Salama, whether it is a smart whether there's another one is the question they asked. She, especially the one I read about almost selama She said, Yeah, rasool Allah, The man took away all the goodness, what's left for us, woman. I love the idea. These are a woman and this is for all the female listening to us. That what you need to look for is is where is the goodness? And that's what she said to him. And then she heard them in one of the narration she heard them in the hotbar saying, the verse was revealed, and then all the good qualities and Allah specifically specified men

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and woman men and woman and all the good qualities and at the end is what will they get? Yes, sure. We're gonna and I put it here because some of the viewers asked for divorce. So this is divorce that's why I put it here. That's awesome. Yeah, that's awesome that the vs up. So if we can walk the path of the verse and look at what I mean when I'm when I'm so when I look at this, and I talk about it as a build, as where we start, because each stop is a state, like the Muslim in one Muslim man, so the Muslim man or the Muslim woman, to be a Muslim and ALLAH SubhanA, Allah is making clear for us here in this verse that to be a Muslim is different than to be a woman we know me not. There's,

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it's a difference. There's that because it says, Al Muslimeen, almost the mat element, meaning and what Milotic was exactly the same, we wouldn't have two separate words. And so this is something to reflect on in this 2022, which reflects at anytime but to reflect on in this year of worship. What does it mean to be a Muslim? What does it mean to be a believer? What is the differentiation? And how do I move from one to the other? And so when we're talking about the year of worship, and they're thinking about Islam, of course, we think about kind of Islam, the five pillars of Islam, and here we have at least three

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or all but at least three clear acts of worship. We have Salah prayer, I'm gonna talk about prayer in a minute, fasting Ramadan, and has of course, the cuts and saying, you know, hammer sola are also acts of worship in their own way. But let me just focus on these three, if I may. Okay, so for heritage, it's something that every Muslim has to do. So to the audience, I would like to say if you've never been on Hajj and you don't have a single penny in your account, and you have no way to go to hedge, it doesn't matter. Make the intention. Make it with me right now.

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Yes, y'all Allah, I intend to go on Hajj. That way if we died before we go, at least to me the intention, we fulfill that intention. Okay. Allah Subhana Allah didn't make the way easy for us. But we had the intention

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to beg him to buy chip.

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Yeah. Make it easy. Subhana. Yes, yeah. So let's Hi. So there, we took care of that little aspect of being Muslim. Okay. That's a part of worship, though. That's an that's an agreement. By intending you're saying yes, I want to do this act of worship. Ramadan is fasting. We're going to talk about being a basalt You mean in salt mountain a minute, so I'm going to leave aside that as a concept. But Ramadan is fasting. That's also an act of worship. So but that brings us to Salah prayer

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and prayer. Subhan Allah. Yeah, Shia Haifa. I have met a lot of people in the last 10 years.

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And I'm really sad to say that

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We are in a we have two pandemics. Right now, we have the pandemic called COVID, which is certainly a struggle in all of its different ways. Then we have another pandemic, and it's called the pandemic of lack of federal prayer.

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And we have I mean, think I'll ask the audience to think about how many people do you know, that pray every prayer on time all the time without missing it? Absolutely.

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Of all of your family and all of your friends and all of your community members. Is it? 50%? Probably not. 22 Yes. Yeah. Maybe 10% I mean, if I feel like 10% Maybe we're being generous.

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This hurts my heart and it's, it's a it's a frightening thing about our ummah. Because literally the very NL Muslimeen What are you muslim out? So to enter into the door of this mansion of Islam, we have to do our five pillars. Okay, you said I should have let her know.

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Allah Hamdulillah we said this. Okay, we're intending to foster Ramadan. And if we don't, maybe we're sick with him or whatever. Okay. I intend to music out maybe I don't have extra money in the bank. I intend to go on has Hamdulillah. Right, what's left? Solo, Salah is five times a day, and it's time this is what it is. And so and to miss it. Like I went in 19. What was the year 88? I think, I don't know, my husband's good with yours, not me. 8889, something like that. 89 Probably, I was on my way to visit Syria. And we went to France and I got sick. I had what's called pneumothorax. I was very young and as very healthy woman. And suddenly, I know you know what that

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is. But the rest of the audience that probably doesn't. My lung collapsed. Oh, yeah. And it collapsed. I had just fully fully collapsed. And I went to law school, I was there for two weeks. There were some mistakes they made or whatever, and then finally got out and whatever. That's a whole fun story to tell. But the point I want to make is I remember being in the hospital. First of all, I remember when my lung collapsed being shocked that you can't talk without your lungs.

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You need them for voice because I was like,

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hell, nobody can hear me nobody knew anything was wrong with me. And I remember thinking about this laying in the hospital bed and thinking of this analogy, that our lungs to our body is like prayer to our spirits.

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And when I have to two lungs and hamdulillah and when one collapsed, I was I was alive, I was in a lot of pain, let me tell you, I'd rather at the time was like I'd rather have another baby

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I was in a lot of pain, but I could breathe, I could barely talk because I couldn't get enough air out to speak and I could I could kind of you know clunk along inside because I ended up in the hospital. This is an analogy for prayer. When we don't pray it's like we've begun to remove the lungs from our spirit, our lungs give us air so we can move so we can think of oxygen. So we can so we can live and if we don't pray that we are missing out on a critical part of our spiritual and our our spiritual health and our mental strength now notice I say mental strength instead of mental health. I know I know that mental health of course is some is a unique field and it is something

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that is physical and mental and involves environment and trauma and so many things, but mental strength is different. mental strength is to the to your

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mental strength is just like physical strength you can rate you can lift weights and be physically strong. But you can still get sick you can be you can be a runner and be and be really have physical strength and lift weights and all of this stuff or for mothers of toddlers carry a toddler round all day long and have big strong arms and be really strong because still how the sick physically you can still get sick but still get all the diseases doesn't.

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Yeah, exactly the same mental strength is that is is the analogy of physical strength, you can still end up with mental health issues, of course, that mental strength we need this to manage our life, to manage to deal with life to interact with like just like I need strong muscles to get out of bed to lift my toddler to go to the car to push my car out of snow to shovel the snow outside of Minnesota here. We need mental strength and spiritual strength to live our lives. And

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just know as you said it reminded me when I was rolling around

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was asking Satana Bilal to call for the salah. What did he used to

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be higher Bilaal make us feel good and comfort by it. If I look at it this way, it's my run away from all this rat race and stress and I'm going to be with Allah spawn Tada and on and talk to him. Why? How can I not do it? But if I look at it as it is an obligation, did you pray that you read your Salah just like, let's do it. Other habit. That's what the problem is. I suggest to everyone who's listening today to change your sentence. So instead of saying, Excuse me, I have to pray. Say, I get to pray.

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But very simple change. I'll be with you in a minute but I get to pray right now.

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I'll be ready to come to that meeting. But I get to pray right now. I get to pray it's such a different

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sense. And that helps us accomplish that level one, which is to be in men mostly mean well Muslim acts.

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Now then we move on. Now we want to be of the people of Eman unless hands Allah describes the people of Jana again and again in the Quran as a Latina No, I'm a little salty hottie. These are the people that are in Jana. So Eman is very important. It's very important for us to to decide that we want to be of the people of EMA that we want to that we want to grow from the very basic exam which hamdullah if you are struggling there, keep working, keep working. We want to move into the stage of EMA. And the stage of Ema is again, if we want to build the Muslim shall see the Muslim person that our person ourself, then we need these 10 qualities. And we did start building like, like a Lego

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house, if you will, or like bricks, we built our Islam. Okay, now I need another brick and it's called a man. Yes, we have the six pillars of Eman and meaning that we need to have an understanding of them. But let's let's think about what all those six pillars are. They are about that which we do not see. They're about to read the unseen world prophets, books, but the other day of judgment, these are not things that we can hold in our hand. And to to have

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to develop belief in them. We need to it needs work, just like if you especially in the secular world. You know, one of the things in child development that we teach teachers and parents is that it's very important for children to be like young children, preschoolers be able to trust their parents and their teachers. Because when they don't they, they lose trust in those who have more power than them. And that can affect them later on in life, in other relationships and in just in managing their dunya managing their things. I

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I don't haven't read research about this. But I mean, anecdotally, I can say that I've seen the same thing, where when children don't have, when they have trauma from their parents, they haven't been able to trust their parents, they haven't been able to trust their environment. Maybe they're orphans or whatever.

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They really often can struggle with opposite issues. Because they haven't built that natural ability to believe in unseen emotions, like love, and hope. And so, what that means is that now we're in a secular world, where who believes in so few people believe in love and hope there's so much cynicism, cynicism, cynicism, cynicism. And if we can't believe in basic human emotions that we ourselves feel, of course, we're struggling to believe in on the unseen world. But just like if you go to a therapist, a therapist will tell you, you have to work on your trust issues. You have to work on feeling your love and feeling your feelings, identifying your emotions, knowing what they

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are, you work on it, you can have a better life. And the same way we work on our belief we work on becoming of the meaning, almost mean out and how do we do that? We do that, on one hand through the worship we learned in Islam stage.

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because, as you say, now it's came to my mind, one of the definition of email. And I think it's for Sade, 90, which my walker often called, was of the cuckoo llama. It's something is I feel it. But it doesn't count unless it shows. It's like to say to your child, or a child tells you I always use this phrase, Mom, I love you. And you said

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that tells me

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why so you have to show you Allah knows but we need to show ourselves people around us What does belief mean?

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It's what

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it is actually action, which is I was steaming. And that's, I mean, some scholar says that was the reason why Allahu Allah and the sequence that Allah started with the basic rights. And one of the Mufasa says that Eman is testicle Islam. It's it's the

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How would you translate that? It's you affirm? Yes. by you being a believer. Yes, exactly. affirmation, we all love affirmations, right?

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information of that faith and so holla the next one just demonstrates how that begins to blossom, because it's funny to call an ethos. And this is, of course, it's translated in interesting ways. And I just want to touch on that for a minute because I've seen it translated as devotion. I've seen it translated as worship. I've seen it translated as obedient. Obedience. Yes, obedience. I think obedience is terrible translation the English language because nobody, you say obedience and people are thinking about their dogs.

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Or the negative obedience. Yes, exactly, exactly. But bluenotes This idea of this caught this concept is a worship that grows out of Islam and Eman. And it builds an internal result. That is as an external

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garden, if you will, of action of the way that we live. That's why some people translated as obedience because a person who is of the pani teen or Connie Todd is a person who, who their worship has grown them on the inside so they have Ruda on the internet. They have, they have a contentment mint on the inside with with Allah's Pantheon with their relationship with God with the weight, where they're Dinya what Allah has given them, and at the same time that shows sign is beginning to grow, because it begins to show on the outside, and that that's growing from a man's son, but it's a process that it's the beginning to grow. And that here is the place where we really need worse. I

00:32:14--> 00:32:54

mean, this is every time when the worst con It's come to my mind. There's only two people in the whole Quran were described as Cornett not even the Roswaal risotto for Syedna Ibrahim and of course the cedar Meriam Kevin it's been an honor 18 It's a woman and if you look at what was saved the marine challenge that's that she deserved. The description of carnita obedient to Allah cada obedient to Allah decree, obedient to what he wants from her with no complaint. What did she do? She just accepted it. You know what I'm saying?

00:32:56--> 00:33:07

I think we can use the word embrace even. Exactly, exactly. She loved it. And when I ever saw my resource Meriam I was like, I wish I know what she was feeding

00:33:09--> 00:33:09


00:33:11--> 00:33:14

to cobbler harder enough. I wish I was dead.

00:33:15--> 00:33:37

You know what, how difficult but you're right. I have to be a Muslim. And I in the Muslim is in two things I externally and internally I submit and then I believe in the unseen and I show it that will lead to the Cournot then I will be obedient in the positive way. And I will be a worshiper one of the translation is worshiper.

00:33:40--> 00:34:24

Exactly. And it's in the worship comes in a different way. It comes in a way that is comes from that depth of that saying I get to pray really becomes I get to pray I really get such as a word it's I get to I have to it's not a choice I say this to myself non negotiable. There's things in life non negotiable, you know, that are drawings, or parents or mothers prefer drawings in their homes. I think I need to put a red line to myself boundary. I have to pray now. Wherever it is, I have to pray. Yeah, and I think I wouldn't say that once we hit this level of pollutes on 18 upon he thought that we're even talking about we're talking about more than just the fold here. Like the federal

00:34:24--> 00:34:41

prayers are that thing that holds us in Islam. Eman, begin to develop those prayers and grow them. By the time if we're here in this space of Pawnee thoughts. I think we're really talking about women of testitude men have to have shoot thinking about the Sunnah prayer the know often prayers while being

00:34:42--> 00:34:59

extra prayers on Friday, whatever like or even quiet worship on your own, like someone who's quietly worshiping on her own reciting Quran, reading Quran. There's a whole world of things that we can do towards less content to grow that feeling inside of us. When we think about the word obedience

00:35:00--> 00:35:45

I want to, I want to I've been thinking about this word obedience a lot in the past 10 years because in an Arabic when I was living in Syria, that term thought I had no issue with like it didn't, I just yeah, we have to complete it and all Yanni was you know, to translate it into English, I, I, I have all the baggage of that word I personally have all the baggage of that word. And I'm thinking about it a lot. And I'm going to offer a word I know it's not a perfect translation that I think it offers some of the positive connotations of thought that obedience does not. And that is the term devotee. And I think that's why pani talk uses devoted me and i The analogy that I think about are

00:35:45--> 00:36:05

like fans, like, we've got idols, you know, movie stars, or now we have influencers on YouTube, YouTube stars, and music stars and people like this, a fan, a real fan, that's when we just like some music, or just like that person, but a real fan will want to dress like their

00:36:07--> 00:36:47

thing, their, their idol, they'll want to know all of the songs, all the words of the songs that they ever wrote all of the words of the songs that they ever sang, they'll want to go every time they're in town, they have to go, maybe they'll even travel to another state to go there. They're, they're not just a fan. Like they're a devoted fan. They're a devotee of this person. And if we think about that, and how much effort someone like that puts into being devoted to that idol that they are looking at, and we think I feel like it's that energy and Connie thought aeroponics, you know, kanita that we're looking for, we're looking for the energy of devotion, the energy of, I'm

00:36:47--> 00:37:30

going to dress like you want me to dress, I want to learn all the words of the Quran. I want to be standing on the PR carpet whenever I can. I want to be with you, whenever I have any opportunity, I have the option to do that. That energy for that connection, is what is implied by ani thoughts, or carnitine or Pany thoughts? And like that's what we're missing when we use the word obedience even though of course, I know that that is definitely a very important part of it. But we lose that need. Yeah, sure her tomorrow, if I have that energy, and that I call it focus, if I had that energy, and I have that focus, like I'm so focused on this fan, when of course I'm going to be obedient. I'm not

00:37:30--> 00:37:31

going to struggle.

00:37:33--> 00:37:33


00:37:34--> 00:37:41

He told me to do this done. Done. Don't ask me. And I'm enjoying doing it. It's not.

00:37:42--> 00:37:57

I love doing it. Just like people who are really focused on losing weight, and they exercise three, four hours a day, everybody look at them. So how do you do that? I love it. I enjoy it. That's exactly how it is. That is a good question. Do you mind if I just put

00:37:59--> 00:38:22

I am gonna put it right here. So it says salam alaikum I'd like to know, tips on how to pick myself up after being grazed in a non Muslim family with a lot of trauma. I reverted in my early adulthood. And I've been trying for years to get over the trauma have gone through a theta phase. And now I'm focusing on purification of the soul. Does that come along?

00:38:23--> 00:39:07

I felt you probably much better than I am in answering this. Well, I think you know, the term trauma. When I see that word, I always want to say that it's really important that you are in therapy, working with someone who's a specialist in different kinds of trauma, because trauma of different types depends on the trauma, but there are certain types of trauma that have really real lasting effects on our mental health. So with that caveat, like I really want to encourage you to me in therapy, and surely you are with that caveat. And I also I one more, one more caveat, which is that oftentimes when we convert, we, we are really hoping to take that finally that pill that's

00:39:07--> 00:39:43

gonna solve everything, that when we take that pill called Islam, and we become become Muslim, that it's just gonna like, we're going to swallow that pill. And it's just going to go through our bodies, and at the end of that, we're just all the problems are going to be gone. And we get disappointed when that doesn't happen. And so that's it. That's a caveat as well, like, I understand that feeling. I'm not saying you have it, but I think a lot of people have experienced that feeling. With these two things on the side. Number one, I'm encouraging anyone who's experienced trauma to see a licensed and qualified therapist. And secondly, always to remember that

00:39:44--> 00:39:51

when things happen to us, there isn't a single pill that we can take to sort of get over things. However,

00:39:53--> 00:39:59

the the human soul is knitted to the body, if you will

00:40:00--> 00:40:49

whole. And so if the connection goes both ways, the stronger the more you work on strengthening your soul with worship, I Bada, your convert, so you're probably struggling with Arabic sorry to make that assumption that could be wrong. But for many people that is the case. And I have found in my own personal journey that the health that I got from reciting put on myself has been really important and impactful. And so I really want to encourage anyone who is on this path especially was coming from trauma, to do the work to learn the Arabic so that you can recite to put on because it really will help to heal the soul. And when the soul is healing it that will help the rest of how

00:40:49--> 00:41:27

you feel it will help your emotional fitness it will give you a mental strength that will give you physical health. If your body is reacting to the trauma as it so often does. Of course, I am going to encourage all of the types of worship as well. And good companionship hang out with really healthy people. Because when you hang out with whining complaining people, it's really a downer. Yeah, it makes it worse. And even if that means you have to move, or go somewhere for six months, or move away from whatever it is, you know if there's gold, find people that are gonna be fun to be around while they're praying and fasting with you.

00:41:28--> 00:41:50

And I think the third thing is I really respect that you have been studying your Aveda your film and now you're studying those gets enough's. Mmm, that's beautiful that you've been studying those things Masha Allah, and I hope that over time, those knowledge really does help. But I also want to caution you not to, I want to, I want to remind you that Good

00:41:52--> 00:41:54

is the enemy of Perfect.

00:41:55--> 00:42:37

Perfect is the enemy of good. That's my way to say it. Perfection is the enemy of good. Meaning if you're striving to be perfect, you may end up so frustrated, you can't even reach good. So give us a cut yourself a break. And be happy for all of the beautiful opportunities you've had. And what you've been able to learn and, and purification of the soul. Like embrace that beautiful subject as a beautiful thing to do without trying to be perfect because perfection, especially when you come from a trauma background, attachment to perfection, can really be damaging, and it can be a door for so long to come and drag you back into that trauma world. And Kai, my if I may add, I love what you

00:42:37--> 00:43:24

said I will add a couple of things. And I always say this to all the woman. Just talk to him. Yeah, talk to Allah. In your own language. Don't worry about Arabic don't want to any language you speak and just beg him to take you out of where you are. Allah, Allah the idea who when you are sincere, and you really want to get close to him. But you're finding yourself lost in many women in this specialty woman because we give ourselves more than what we can plus we are more emotional. And so basically turns them especially in the night, which I'm sure we're going to talk about 200 Specially in the night that you can put your head on the ground, cry to him, helped me and he opened the door

00:43:24--> 00:44:11

of knowledge for you that's beautiful, but knowledge without the practice, apply it increase gradually and add to it everything Shehata Mara said companion and listening also to Quran not only reading, listening, clean the heart and I will add two things Be patient and he will never let you down. Never it's like saying the Hydra when Allah subhanaw taala said no Ibrahim left her alone alone in the middle of nowhere with a baby and she looks at him and says Allah will never let me down number by number Subhan Allah may Allah make it easy for every woman who's struggling to get closer to Allah, your OB and your of BME Let's hear more reassure her to know. Well, if we keep

00:44:11--> 00:44:14

going the next is a saw the phone we'll saw the calls.

00:44:15--> 00:44:30

So here we have the concept of truthfulness. And you know, we're in a time where we're literally in a post truth society. And so that is really scary all by it. I love it.

00:44:31--> 00:44:45

It's not me. It's not. It's literally like I think it's Oxford dictionary that came out with this word because we are in a post truth society. And the definition of that is the truth doesn't matter to people anymore. Like if we look at the history of truth,

00:44:46--> 00:45:00

for lack of time, we won't go into all of them but like we have traditional era when the truth of revelation was important talk about the Western world here. And then when the modernist era or science was capital T truth and the postmodern era, where everybody had lower

00:45:00--> 00:45:36

case T truth. And now we're in a post your society where literally the society around us does not truth doesn't matter what matters is their opinion what they want. And with that being said, also the human being craves truth. And so we, the human, it's causing anxiety and problems for the human being that we're living in this really strange time. And to be at the saltiness of the heart becomes more difficult. Because we're to be true of the truthful, to be able to truthful is what that means to be of the church becomes difficult because there's not surrounded by truth, but it is any the processor

00:45:38--> 00:46:12

and the processor may still go and I click on any I advise you, I send you to termination. It's an obligation come Yes, yes. Yes. And and he tells us that this setup is the path to build, which is piety and piety. Erbil is the pathogen, Jen. So if we're going to get if we want to go there, we have to start with start with usefulness. And I know you know that it's we live in a time where so many people tell stories and don't tell the truth and I've experienced it myself.

00:46:14--> 00:46:23

In so many ways, we know we have from from the straight up lies to weird wild exaggerations to

00:46:25--> 00:46:28

I don't know like it's really we live in a time with a lot.

00:46:30--> 00:46:36

So a lot of lack of truth and a lot of weird concocted stories about all sorts of stuff.

00:46:37--> 00:47:20

Yeah, if I want to add because some form, it's more than one form one form, many of us don't pay attention to which is a Sakuma law. Are you truthful with Allah, you really love him? You know, if you ask anyone the lever law, of course. Right? And the next question I asked myself, when I say yes, I'd like show me. Sure. What is the proof that I love Allah, so sitcom, Allah, that you really want to be close to him, you really want to go to Hajj, you really want to work on your Salah, if he sees that truthfulness. And this is when the comment on sodomy was saw the heart external and with Allah subhanaw taala. And even if everybody is lying, which unfortunately, sometimes that's the

00:47:20--> 00:48:00

case. Yashika Tamara, it's so sad. Muslims or non Muslims. It doesn't justify it and doesn't make it right. Yep. And even if you're the only one. Yep. And your reward is even multiply SubhanAllah. Yeah, exactly. And I think like what you said about truthfulness with Allah is really important, because there's, we don't have time to go into this. But it's a it's a whole really interesting thing to think about. I actually recently wrote an essay about truth. So I've been thinking a lot about truth. And what does that mean? And what, what does truth mean for us, and Allah spent on it, and in a number of places in the Quran says that he has created halacha similarity will

00:48:01--> 00:48:37

be to help bill how, yes, and this is like, really something to think about. And we don't have time for those little sort of deep things. But I would not, I mean, for that, let's say tributary to the side of the river that we're in now. But when we think about that, and how the world has been created, and how in truth, and the importance, that connection there as Muslims or as believers walking on this earth, we have to be at the saw that Lena saw up there. If we want to even think about how we interact with the world, his whole life up, there becomes a whole new connection there of the importance of truth and truthfulness.

00:48:38--> 00:49:11

being truthful with Allah authentic, we can also use the word authentic here to be authentic with Allah Santanna authentic with our Muslim brothers and sisters authentic with ourselves and truth with ourselves. And I want to say about choose with the self, this is actually something that is sometimes really hard to be honest with yourself. But we got to start there. Because if we can't be honest with ourselves, we're gonna struggle being honest, everywhere else, honest with ourselves about our own shortcomings and to be honest with ourselves about what we need to work on and where we actually are, rather, as opposed to where we want to be. And

00:49:12--> 00:49:20

especially when it is difficult, because most of the time, it's difficult. It's very difficult to say to yourself, you know, what you just said, why?

00:49:21--> 00:50:00

Usually, what do we do if tomorrow we justified? Yeah, right. I didn't mean it. It just came out. It's slip of the tongue. Everybody's doing it. Truthfulness with ourselves, with people and number one with Allah subhanho wa taala. To law. I mean, we still have time to dive in. If we go over, it's fine. Yeah, yeah. And so I mean, if we're walking the path now, we've said that we want to be the Muslims, who are who are fulfilling those pillars and especially remembering our prayer. You want to be of the believers, and we want to recognize that that is a development here of worship because it is in order to affirm our

00:50:00--> 00:50:40

Islam, we need to be able to really strongly believe in all of these unseen things. And that comes partially from the work we're doing in our iman and our work, our deeds. And so and that a very big part of those these is indeed our worship, which then brings us to be of the quantity Nobody touched those who are the devote the energy of that worship, the energy to be there, the energy to be happily in that space. And then from there we went to civic, which is not only are we happy, we are authentic, we are truthful. And we now we begin to stretch out to other people to like we're truthful with Allah, we're truths with ourselves, our truthful with others. And that brings us to be

00:50:40--> 00:50:48

of the Savarino Salviati, which has always been translated as patients, which is such a shame because generally in English, when we say patients, we mean waiting.

00:50:50--> 00:50:50


00:50:51--> 00:50:59

it's not about waiting in line. It's not about standing in line, it's about being steadfast. I have a picture of my great grandmother.

00:51:00--> 00:51:15

She was just very beautiful woman masala and have a picture of her when she first got married. And then as she got older, and she was an Iowa farmer, and it very poverty stricken. They were eight boy, eight sons and a daughter.

00:51:16--> 00:51:19

And it was really a

00:51:20--> 00:51:54

anyway, so there's this picture of her when she first got married with a very beautiful face and another picture for about 20 years later, her face is still beautiful, but the one thing that really changed is her lips thin. And I look at that picture and I think that this picture of a woman with she's still smiling. She has a thin lipped smile that's like to me the the sort of portrait of sub of a person who is continuously steadfast I'm doing the work I'm doing what I got to do. I'm doing what I have to do. And I'm holding on to that smile.

00:51:55--> 00:52:30

It's not you know, it's I'm struggling with some things but I'm I'm doing it I'm doing it. And that's an what do we need to be? What do we need to have sober with? What do we need to be steadfast with we need to be steadfast with our with all these things that we just talked about, with what Allah subhanaw taala has asked us to do with our prayers with our desert with our son numbers need to be steadfast with our habits, with our new habits that we're designing for ourselves. So we can reach a list on time, we need to be steadfast against our neffs to patients and signups when an EPS says, oh, I want this, I want that, or I want this or I want that.

00:52:32--> 00:52:35

No, I'm going to be in control of you. You're not going to be in control if

00:52:37--> 00:52:45

we need to be patient with the whole Lausanne patient with a mock business around us. Now I need people around us who

00:52:46--> 00:52:56

are ours. You know, they say things that hurt us or they say I'm noxious things or whatever you make sure that you there's so much impatient with Masha Allah. And to do that, sometimes it takes

00:52:58--> 00:53:45

you know, yes. But still, that smile remains is something of the of that the middle of the year, there's something of that connection to all this fine line is still there. I'm going to put a question, yeah, shahada tomorrow, because that's also very relevant. So what if I perform all of the prayers and form make dua and I don't feel the beauty? Or the serenity that I think I should have? Do I wake my head? Look at the question, How beautiful how do I wake my call my heart? If it feels hard stall? Yeah. So there's two ice two questions here. One is, what if I do all of this stuff? And I don't feel? And the second is, how do I wake my heart? So I'm gonna answer the first question.

00:53:45--> 00:53:59

First, I'm going to start by saying it's very important that when we set up set upon the path of, let's say, walking these 10 steps, or set upon the path of prayer and drop, that we don't do it for the feeling,

00:54:00--> 00:54:40

because we don't worship Allah Subhana Allah so that we can have a feeling, we worship Allah because he deserves to be worshipped. And we expect good of Allah. And we know that Allah created gravity. And that means if you throw an apple out your fifth store, window, fifth storey window, it will fall, it's not going to go up, it's going to go down. And we know that with all the leftovers from the put on all that the process has taught us that worship will work on us and will bring us to those states. We don't begin by doing it for that. We do it because this is what we're supposed to do. To answer the and now I feel like the second question is not related to the rest of that first

00:54:40--> 00:54:44

question. If I want to feel beauty and serenity, how do I wake up my heart if it's harder still?

00:54:46--> 00:54:56

The to wake up the heart is this is I mean, there are volumes written about how to wake up. So I'm going to give a short answer but certainly

00:54:58--> 00:54:58

it's it.

00:54:59--> 00:54:59


00:55:00--> 00:55:09

As much as always, it depends. But number one I would say is examine if you are in sin. If you're in sin, you have to stop the sin first.

00:55:10--> 00:55:53

And that's, that's something that we don't really want to face like we want to talk about. No, I just want to, you know, I want to say it, and I want to sing solo ads, and then I want to feel beautiful, and feel amazing. Maybe Shaula I have found that Alyssa Anton is very generous with the gifts he gives his servants. But oftentimes that generosity comes in the beginning so you know what to work for. And to wake a heart we have to we can't wait, the heart will not wait. As long as we're in obvious sin. That means something especially if it is a sin that you know is wrong. But you're like, I just don't man to man. Or if it be little the sin like, oh, it can be that important. I

00:55:53--> 00:55:57

mean, Allah subhanaw taala really wants you to take a look before I pray. Yes. Actually.

00:56:00--> 00:56:41

In prayer acquisition, there's no salah. Exactly, yeah. Um, or, or what have you. I mean, I use that example. But any example. So if you recognize in yourself a sin, you have to stop that first. Or if it's something you're not doing, you're supposed to be doing do that. First, what you have to fulfill, we have to fulfill the obligations of Allah subhanaw taala products. That's why when we talk about Islam, we have to fulfill those obligations. Talk about a man that talks about the obligations of Imam Han, it's one of those words is obedience, because we need to be fulfilling our do our duties and doing what we're supposed to do before a less hansala to help our hearts. And

00:56:41--> 00:57:17

that's how, like the people that have been walking on this path, sometimes their heart will just be immediately they know that they did something 100% Right. because it hurt will twinge because they've been able to feel that heart. So definitely to wake it. Look at what you're doing wrong and what you're not doing. And one really exam that go ahead. Dr. Reminds me because somebody said it. I just don't remember who was it one of the saints, he said, he though just tell us what have you call back if you find your heart is hard that the question reminded me first thing for oppa little TM

00:57:19--> 00:58:08

pray long in the night one. And if you still feel it, for up to the CM, pray, fast more, we're not talking about any obligation. If you want your hearts if I want my heart to reach that state status, it leads to move from the basics. And that is just pray. He said open meaning pray it long, fast more not Ramadan, not only three days in the month, longer, more. And then he said no, if you still feel it, and I don't remember exactly what the meaning is. Go and find an orphan and just wipe his head or her head. It will soften the heart. That's the first thing the second thing for prayer and forum. Let's go to what Allah said what will give my heart serene, and I'll be the creator. He

00:58:08--> 00:58:36

thought my inner loop, we need to do more dhikr of Allah spawn Tada. And not the vicar, the duty they could I call it you know, we go Allahu Akbar. We don't know what we said, what did we do, but I did my salah, and my dry, Allah give me give me give me your list. And I expect it to be answered immediately. No, it's vicar. You're always with Allah. And I'm sure you're gonna comment on a doctrine, Allah Cateel. Because he ended up with it. And this will also comment on that. Go ahead. Yes, yeah.

00:58:37--> 00:58:49

Yeah. Well, shall we continue with the because actually, we're going yeah, this one is? Sure. Yes, in a way that is very much related to the question. Yes. So the harsh I know, hotshots are the people who

00:58:52--> 00:59:34

have feel, I wrote a translation for myself so that I would remember because I always can't remember the translation of this word. And I don't have one word, but it's in a sense, it is mindfulness. It is an effect of clock that is felt in mindful worship. That is like your presence in prayer. Your heart is awake, your heart is present. You are actually there in that prayer. You say Allahu Akbar. And your brain is not thinking about 1000 million things. You're not thinking oh, let's let's for lunch. And what am I cooking tomorrow? And let's get what why did she say that in that meeting? Anyway? I can't believe she said that. Or what any, you're just you say Allahu Akbar. And you're

00:59:34--> 01:00:00

thinking, sila hum Rihanna Rahim. And you're thinking you're, you know, where you're standing and you know who you're praying to? That is a developed, that's a developed self. And there's something there to be developed. And Subhan Allah, it's um, it's that what you said earlier about Allah zicatela hepatoma in the globe. It is Herschel comes from

01:00:00--> 01:00:44

I'm a heart that his comb is a calmness in the heart and her the tu tu tu tu tu tu tu. And because we're in such a strange time with so much distraction, distraction distraction, it's really difficult to call in the heart and we need to practice calming the heart. And so I in this in this place here when we started this, okay, how am I going to be the hotshot? That's practice? Like, I like the quote that you said, I was trying to remember who said it myself and I, for a minute, I thought it was, but I haven't been on time, but I think I might be wrong. Yeah. Yeah. The same kind of? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, anyway, um, the so when he's saying, to make it longer, like, that's

01:00:44--> 01:01:22

not work, right. That's that work, because it's not easy to pray a long time at night. If you aren't in control of your thoughts. If you're not in control, you don't have that calmness on the inside. But it takes practice. There's a funny story that we tell in the education world. I mean, I've told it, I read it once in a book about learning disabilities. And there's a story of a man who was a his job was a trucker. So he drove truck across United States back and forth. And he got called into the office by his son. And he was told that his son had a DD

01:01:23--> 01:01:38

attention deficit disorder. And he didn't really understand what that meant. I can't maybe really didn't listen to the rest. He's like attention deficit disorder. And he understood it, he thought that meant that his son wasn't getting enough attention from him.

01:01:39--> 01:02:25

And so he started to take him on all the trips, he could like, if it was a weekend trip, or a trip that he was out of school or whatever, he started taking him with him on the truck. And having these like one on one conversation, like giving him attention. And the boy improved a lot. And when they brought him in, they brought the father in to ask like what doctor do to take him to? And that's when the the trucker like understood the father is oh, wait, what? No, no, I just been taking him on the truck with me. Well, it's one of the one of these anecdotal or analysis, if you will, of this, what happened here is that the child got practice giving his attention to something to one person as

01:02:25--> 01:03:09

a child. So there was that there was no TV, there was no iPad, this is all before all that you know that. There's no TV, no iPad, no, any of this in the trunk is one person. He's practicing. Having that attention. And this is not I don't mean to go into the whole world, learn disabilities and stuff. So my point is different. My point is that when we want to find our attention and bring it into our prayer to be in the hotshots, when we want to find that home, it needs work and practice, it's not going to happen the first time you say Allahu Akbar. And when and and that practice in it is that is that really similar to mindfulness, which is all over the place now. So you can find

01:03:09--> 01:03:37

anywhere about mindfulness, just go read somebody else who writes about that, I will say one practical point that I was taught and I found it absolutely helpful in focus, focus in my bed, the focus in my relationship with Allah is take in your day, you choose the time, attend 15 minutes where you sit down alone, with nothing, when I mean no meaning no gadgets, no phone, nor even

01:03:38--> 01:04:26

watch nothing, nothing. And just focus on Allah Spandana not even read Quran, just do the could you say stuff, Allah, if you do this daily, and I found this really helpful, it keeps you focused, and the rest becomes easier, it doesn't change immediately, but makes it easy, easier and easier. Your Salah your Quran, and this is how I'm sure you know, this. Yes, the focus of this is a concept of halwa with Allah subhanaw taala, which you don't have it in our rat race day, running from one thing to the other every minute, and many things in our mind next, next next take 1015 minutes morning whenever you think you can do it, but don't compromise it. They add and increase it and the beauty

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is beyond description. Yeah. And I also wanted to say to those who are thinking about that, that when it for at first and you say you're going to struggle, so don't give up don't say Oh, I couldn't do it. Because that was too hard for me. No, no, just keep practicing, keep practicing, keep practicing and keep on doing that. And as you mentioned, like the last one here is that getting was I cannot is catatonia NIDA the remembrance of Allah subhanaw taala a lot and this is this is the final step like to get to that ability to remember all this one thought a lot you have

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Have a lot of steps to go through. And you have to start by remembering all this little to get to that place

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in the Quran, where it says Kathy rock, he doesn't say Motobecane Kathy or Simon, you're all harsh. It's only the Dhikr of Allah beautiful commentaries on number one because it is the easiest thing to do doesn't need anything. Number one and number two because its impact on the human being. It's it's beyond and when I was reading about exactly what you do doesn't have to be you have to memorize all the books of draw. I mean, it's great if you do that, or you have you know, all the Quran, you keep reading it, it's just an every step. And I only say this to myself, you know, anything you do, ask yourself this question is Allah pleased with me? As simple as this? You know, and then this is you

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are connected with a London Abdullah whom, Allah? What's,

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what are we gonna get? Right? Yeah.

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Okay, so really quickly, let's just fill in the the ones that we missed. So we can get to that last one, because that's what we want to talk about, we keep jumping to it.

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So we've got 123, there are three that we that we miss, let's just do them all together. One is, with a subdivision with a sub, the odds which are the people give charity. And this is a sign of a person who understands the need to purify the self. Because giving charity is a purification of the of wealth, given being generous means that you are removing correct generosity is to be given without arrogance, without judgment, without an all and hate to be given hate from the heart. And this is getting to that place of exon again, like we keep talking about the things that are bringing us fun. And then saw him you know, saw him at the song, this fasting. And again, as she spoke about

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earlier with the quote, that it says, This is not only fasting in Ramadan, this is as much as we can fast can you Mondays, all of a sudden the facts of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, we have the three white days, we have the days, Monday and Thursday, we have special days in the year we have the days of the picture, they modified, we have a number of different months that are sacred months, and all sorts of opportunity for fasting and Subhanallah if you're young, that's the time to do it. Because you're strong get older, you're gonna get the all these little things that stop you from

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that make it difficult, because you got to take medicine, you got to do this, the guy did that it makes it more difficult to fast when you can so that you can be written on the side of the penis on the arts. In the future, when you can do inshallah everybody can until the end of their lives. Yeah.

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And then another thing that fasting does is that it helps you to control all those whims and desires. So you no longer you have control of your temper, you're not just jumping on whatever you want to do, you have that control, which again, helps to build them with some personality. And then of course you have the healthy that's photos of them have been frozen on behalf of that. And these are the people who guard their private parts. And this is about I don't like the word modesty because we don't really know what that means in English. But basically it is control yourself bah.

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It's like, it's like, look, Allah smart. Allah created us with two desires, we have desire for food or your desire for sexuality. And we did Allah created us in this way so that we could perpetuate the species and stay alive. Well, let's find out to also create us with the ability to control both. We live in a culture that accepts the idea that we should be controlling our food. We in our culture accepts this idea with diet and exercise and all sorts of other things. But for some reason, our culture doesn't accept the idea that we should also be controlling our sexual desire although I have seen a few tiny little peeps here and there from some non Muslim influencers about this. But Islam

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has his reminds us that if we want to be healthy, internally, we have to control both. And here this is calling up for that health that this is this any hafod and he protected? protect, protect, how do you protect you control what you see, control you here, you control where you are, control what you allow yourself to read what you allow yourself to watch everything in your hands to protect yourself. So you'll end up in a situation that now you've really fallen, the seven glutes, and I'm sure this is the wonderful principles of Teskey a purification of the heart is all these are gates to my heart. So if I want my heart to be pure, to be connected with Allah to be serene, I absolute

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it's like you protect your child need to protect what do you see, what do you hear? What do you eat? What do you use your hand for? What do you use your legs for and the private part. And the mouth is actually two things, what you eat, and what you the private what you what you say and what you eat. It's extremely important and accurate. And I'm sure you've read

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This study in this is pure food has so much relationship with the health of the heart is not healthy food only. But halaal Antiva pure and halal and lawful has an impact on the heart. I think what we will need to it's will be good. I don't like the word but it is very common new year's resolution as a Muslim. It's just because again, it's a time to remind Allah subhanaw taala even mentioned time in the Quran, what do I want to do in 2022? And if Allah decided to take me back tomorrow, he knows I was sincere is just to be a different a better Muslim woman or a man closer to Allah subhanaw taala. And when do I start, as we said, all these what he wants me to do? This is the first step what he

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wants me to do. And then Allah will make it easy peasy. Now, you want to say last thing he or she Ha, we have couple of questions. But I can do mostly that one more by me when I say something, there's one more I need to because it's related to woman during the menses. So go ahead and give us just winded I'll just close it up by saying that say a couple of things really quickly. One is that as the last one then is that get that eating was that kid, that kid that kidney smoker Cuttino that carrot, those who remember Allah Santana a lot. And this is the goal that we want to get to add the Lola home as as the chef I thought referred to that Allah has promised them promised them my fifth

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and Rama, the forgiveness and mercy. And this is this is what we absolutely need. Like this is what we need. I know that we haven't gone I'm actually going to start with Clubhouse. I'm setting a clubhouse every day at seven o'clock to every week, sorry, on Wednesdays at seven o'clock every week to talk about each one of these separately. Because I think we need to go deeply into that opportunity. And if I, if you look at what Allah said, and again, the language of the Quran, he said,

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Yeah, at the moment, it is ready, waiting in the home to do all the categories and two things. And this is separate. Malfi rotten words are nauseam. And if you look at this core says Why did he combine these mark for forgiveness and a great, great, magnificent reward. They said Mark FIRA because they still will sin Subhanallah Yeah.

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You were human beings who will earn and he said, if you follow these, when you slip, there is Mark Farrell waiting for you.

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So I'm so glad you fixed that because I said my my brain is

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the most is called tells you it's Jana, and some scholar says it is way more than just the gender itself. Y'all be me. May Allah give it to us. There was one question I'm not finding it. But more than one woman I'm assuming said what? How do I keep this during the menstruation? I get this question a lot. Yeah, sure. So let's see you what you will advise. First of all, we need to stop calling that week vacation. That's the word. It's not. No. And we don't want a vacation from Allah. I've started calling it the good week.

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It's nice if we tell ourselves this are the good week, then we can plan in that week for the good.

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We can plan to and you can do that in the same time as prayer you can get up for pleasure to do so far because the mustafina Assad and we have those who are seeking forgiveness at that time of night.

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You can there's so many things that you can do if you're if you're in the process of memorizing you can memorize Hadith during that week instead of put on which is very important as well and you can keep up your habits so I think the most important thing is to just change that change the attitude by changing the name it's the third week I'm in my third week now not malice Allah in Arabic We say I don't have for now okay, you know salami. Last pantalla out of His mercy. He gave us multiple ways of worshipping Him because we are human beings that word we want change. And during the menstruation the only thing I cannot do the only from everything else in this

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in this verse The only thing I can do I can't pray. And and I need to focus on this and remind everyone myself is when I don't pray. In my during the menstruation I am actually worshipping Allah because he told me not to do it. Yeah, I am also an estate the vicar absolutely the knowledge reads the books, attend the classes.

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Find some aloud if you are happy, and somebody's not listening to the Quran. teaching the children during this column. There's a lot of things but we we now know the act of worship to instruct salah or none.

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it is way more than that. Jackie La Jolla. It's beautiful. We're 15 minutes late Please forgive us but we could not stop in the middle of the day. Thank you

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May Allah subhanaw taala accept from all of us exactly. Nahariya Tamara Matlock with baraka and everything you do. You're not be me and everyone else who's listening to us, may Allah subhanaw taala make us all a give us the 10 criteria you mentioned in this verse Subhana Coloma the handshake a shadow layer in Atlanta stock Furukawa tubidy Salalah wanna say now Muhammad while