Fatima Barkatulla – Aisha (RA) – Mother of the Believers #4

Fatima Barkatulla
AI: Summary © The segment discusses the importance of women in Islam, including the idea that they should be careful about their behavior and their behavior in their own lives. The segment also touches on the importance of finding women who are fit in their culture and the natural attributes of human beings that make them attracted to worship. The segment also touches on the controversy surrounding the age of eyeshadow and the importance of not bringing up anyone with a German sounding name.
AI: Transcript ©
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Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah dear brothers and sisters Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatu This is your sister Fatima Baraka Tula. I hope you're enjoying my podcast. I just wanted to leave this little message for you guys, just to ask you please, to share the podcast to review the podcast and to give me five stars in Sharla just so that more and more brothers and sisters can listen to the podcast and benefit. And, you know, if you have any feedback that you'd like to give me, please don't hesitate to reach out to me.

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I'm on most of the socials you know on Facebook, Twitter, on Instagram, and also on LinkedIn. So do reach out and do stay in touch. May Allah Subhana Allah bless you all, May He grant you all your heart's desires, and may He bless you and this life and in the next. I mean the man amin Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

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she was

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peace be upon him. We love him so

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our amazing father was

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known as the true

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Billahi min ash shaytani r rajim Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem. Before we begin properly, I'd like to just ask you if you can all hear me.

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Yes, I'm the Loess. Excellent.

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So while we're just waiting for people to come in, if you could just tell me where are you all joining us from? It's just really interesting to know. Mashallah.

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Sorry, Canada, Masha, Allah, Saudi Arabia, Crawley West Sussex, India. We're in India. I'm interested to know where in India, Maldives, Michigan, New York, West Yorkshire, Bangalore.

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Mashallah, Manchester, South Africa.

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hartfordshire, Hyderabad, India.

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Nigeria, Masha Allah. salaam aleikum, Nigeria.

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Not too far away from here.

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fellow Londoner Layton.

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I hope there's a lot of people from Cardiff since iluminar are the ones who are hosting this right. On menar. in Cardiff.

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Staffordshire, Algeria. Really? Wow.

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Sister in Algeria. How did you hear about this class? gloves go. Dubai, sister in Dubai. How did you hear about this class?

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Definitely want to know how the sister in Russia heard about this class.

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We know each other personally. Okay. That's great. So word of mouth. Right? You've been telling other people and yeah, I hope you do that. You know, let other sisters know about the class and even if they haven't joined from the beginning, they can always go to

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other men are on my YouTube channels. And they can catch up right? They can catch up with the classes.

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I used to attend your holiday in West Hampton Really? Shanna?

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Somebody's saying they can't hear anything. I think you should check from your end because

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last time I asked my sister said they can hear me

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just want to double check. Can everybody hear?

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Yeah, so majority of sisters are saying they can hear so. Those who can't please check your own device right but the volume up

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from your end please.

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Okay, so Mashallah, we've got people from all sorts of places all over. I'd love to have somebody here from Australia, you know? Haven't heard anyone from Australia that's the one continent that we haven't heard somebody saying that they're attending from So anyway, tried to get some sisters from Australia, okay to come on in sha Allah. Okay dear sisters smilla Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah. So,

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to continue our class on the life of our T shirt or the lion Hi, this is session four.

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We had got to the point where we've gone through Ayesha Organon has family tree, we looked at some of her family members. And we started setting the scene with regards to her family, parents, the type of household that she grew up in, right. And of course, she's the daughter of a bucket of civic or the Alon who, so what what would we expect but that she had the best upbringing when it came to Islam. Right.

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One of the things that I wanted to share with you is that I shut it down and I also had,

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you know, as was the custom at the time,

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a foster mother, right and mother who are a lady who had suckled her or breastfed her right. And this lady was the wife of iboco ice. And we know this because of Hadith in Bukhari and Muslim, in which I shot a deal on her tells us that

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she says afla, the brother of booklice, came and asked permission to enter after the verses of hijab had been revealed, right. So this, the brother of this Sahabi, called a bull case, he came and asked permission to enter

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after hijab had been revealed. So she says, I said, I will not let him in until I seek the permission of the Prophet of Allah sallallahu sallam, because his brother obliqua Ace

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is not the one who breastfed me. So she's saying, I fly. You know, she wasn't really sure. Like, could he enter? You know, now that she had started observing the hijab, and we're talking about the special hijab that was for the mothers of the believers, right? Which meant that even men were not even allowed to be in their presence, unless it was behind a physical barrier or curtain, right.

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So she wasn't sure if she could let him in. She didn't let him in. And she said she wanted to check. Because she said and this was her logic, she said,

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his brother of last brother, he is not the one who suckled me it was his wife. Right? He stuck with me. When the Messenger of Allah when the Prophet of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came, I asked, I said to him, O Messenger of Allah, Allah, the brother of who Ace came and asked permission to enter, but I refused to let him in until I sought

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permission from you, right, until I sought your permission. So he was sort of lost on a lower cell and said,

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and what prevented you from allowing in your paternal uncle, right?

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I said, O Messenger of Allah, the man did not breastfeed me, it was the wife of who else who breastfed me. He said, let him in for he is your paternal uncle. Right. So this is like, obviously, you know, people are still learning about the rules about the in terms of relationships in brother All right, for the only the suckling parents, and they're learning all these new laws and these new rules that, you know, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam is slowly introducing.

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And so she wasn't sure you know, at the time, whether she could allow Aflac in.

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So we see from here that she did have a suckling mother, right, who is the wife of a bull case. And so he was her foster father.

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going on from that, what do we want to one of the things I wanted highlight from that head deep, which I really

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Like towards,

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you know, this idea that women and this is something we need to revive, you know, and I'm sure that many sisters do observe this. But this idea of a woman being careful, you know, when it comes to her home, being careful about what her husband would like and dislike. Look at the way our mother Arusha, or the Langham this, her this.

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She, she didn't, even though you know, it might have seemed rude, maybe or whatever, you know, she politely declined to allow somebody to enter her house, because she wasn't sure if her husband would be happy with all that she wasn't sure that it's allowed, right. So similarly, sisters, it really shows you the regard that a Muslim wife is meant to have for her husband, right? Especially in his absence. And this is something that comes up again and again, in the show, he actually, you know, you'll see in many ahaadeeth, this idea that to guard and protect in your husband's absence, what Allah would want you to guard and what your husband would like you to God. So things like not

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allowing somebody to enter your house, who your husband wouldn't want to enter right? Not allowing things to happen in the house of your husband. Right, that in his absence, that he wouldn't like.

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I think it's really beautiful the way I showed her the line her, you know, she, she cared and she was very mindful of whether something was allowed or not before she you know, just by default said yes. Okay, come in, right. And from that we can learn, you know, as wives that this is the sort of regard that we are meant to have for our husbands. So anyway, that's just an introduction to her suckling parents. Now we're going to talk about some of our actual childhood memories.

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bin as it reports

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I entered with abubaker the Lando upon his family and Arusha his daughter was lying down with a fever. So I saw her father, kiss her on the cheek and say, How are you a little daughter, and this hadith is in Buhari. So I thought it was a really nice little sweet little Hadith that kind of shows you the type of relationship that I showed of the line how had with

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sorry, that I should have Dylan had with her father, you know, the type of relationship that I should have had with her father, and the love that he showed her and inshallah, later on, we're gonna see more of that, like, you know, later when she's married to the prophet SAW Selim. in Medina, you can see that, although she had a very close relationship with abubaker, sudip, or the lion who,

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he could also be quite tough on her, you know, he would tell her off when if need to be. And she was, you know, like, very mindful of his anger, you know, especially for the sake of Allah used to get angry. If he ever got angry with her, obviously, it was for the sake of Allah.

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So that shows you the the type of relationship she had with her father.

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I shattered the law on her herself, in many ahaadeeth recalls her own childhood, right. And that's one of the lovely things about, you know, I showed her the land has a hadith there are so many of them. And her memory is so amazing, you know, she, and her willingness to share hate, which is great for us, right? Because we get to then hear all these lovely stories, all these memories that she had. So she says that, I do not remember my parents believing in any religion other than the religion of Islam, and are being visited by Allah's Messenger in the morning and in the evening. So from a young age, some of her earliest memories are eight that you know, she was a Muslim, she was

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in a Muslim family. She didn't know idolatry, right?

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And that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to visit their house, obviously, he was the best friend of Abu Bakar. Right, the prophet SAW Selim said about our Bucher, if I would take if I could take a Muslim friend

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other than Allah and I would take

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the Abu Bakar, right, but he's my brother. So

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that's the sort of relationship they had. So you can just imagine, you know, the profits and the losses

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He, he's trying to do our in with in Makkah. And his best friend is on Rucker. He's visiting his house, probably to consult with him, probably to talk about the state of the Muslims probably, maybe to strategize, you know, how can things be made easier for the Muslims? And so she she would see him visiting morning and evening which shows you that they were very familiar. Their families were very close, right. And she says, One day while we were sitting in the house of aboubaker,

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at noon, someone said,

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this is a last messenger coming at an hour at which he never used to visit us. abubaker said there must be something very urgent that has brought him at this hour. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, I have been allowed to go out of Makkah to migrate. So in this head, the issue, she recalls her early childhood, and she also recalls that day when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was given the allowance

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to make the hedgerows. Right. So he literally went to straight to abubaker his house and told him right. And we will get we'll get back to that when we come to the hedger.

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She had a very playful and sociable nature, right? We know that she had a swing or some kind of rocking,

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you know, some kind of play thing on which you rock, right.

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And she loved playing with toys. And she had lots of friends that she's she talks about them in her hobbies. And even after she got married, she was still very playful, right? Once she was playing with some of her girlfriends, and the Prophet salallahu alaihe. Salam saw her so he said,

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and he pointed to one of the things that she was playing with. He said, What is this? Oh, Ayesha. I said, this is the horse of Solomon. And it has wings. So he laughed. Okay. So you can see that she, you know, she she was a playful girl.

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She was aware and witnessed the struggles of her father, and of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. I think that's really important as well. Because you see, when you see your parents struggling for something, it has a huge impact on you that you have lasting memories of that thing, right.

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She narrates since I reached the age when I could remember things. I have seen my parents upon the DNA, not a single day past, but allows messenger visited us both in the morning and the evening.

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And then she this isn't this is another narration where she talks about what happened to abubaker. And it'd been a doctrine that we mentioned that last time, but I'm going to go over it again because it's in this long Hadeeth of ISIS. She says when the Muslims were persecuted abubaker set out for her Basha as an immigrant

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when he reached a place called Vatican remark he met in the Davina the chief of the tribe, who asked abubaker Where are you going? Abu Bakr said, My people have turned to me out and I would like to, to go and worship My Lord. I would like to go somewhere else to find a place where I can worship my lord Subhana Allah abubaker said so even a Davina said a man like you should not go out like this man like you shouldn't be turned out with his city. And he obviously he meant somebody who is as noble and as

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liked as well liked and who is has the status that a walker had in Qureshi society, right?

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And he said, You help the poor and the living you keep good relations with your kith and kin. You help the dependents, you provide guests with food and shelter, and you help people during their troubles. And he said, Look, I'm going to be your protector. So go back and worship your Lord at your home. So, you know, he said he gave him this type of relationship that they would extend to somebody type of asylum you could call it or a type of protection called jihad.

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Isn't it interesting that the way that even Adelina describes aboubaker is the way that Khadija de la in a very, very similar to the way that these are they are described the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam right? When the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came back from the mountain and he was you know, questioning what had happened to him. Right? And he just said, No alone will never let anything bad happen to you. Because what did she say? She said similar things right? Because you feed the poor your, you keep the good relation. So it kind of shows you how

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mela abubaker issues father and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam were in their character and their personality and their role in society.

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So then as we said last time, you know,

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even a Davina went along with Abu Bakar and took him to the chiefs of Quraysh saying to them a man like a worker will not go will should not be turned out. Do you turn out a man who helps the poor and the living keep good keeps good relations with kith and kin helps the disadvantaged provides guests with food and shelter and helps the people during their troubles. So Quraysh allowed even a Dubliners guarantee of protection and told aboubaker that he was secure and said to him in a Davina advise a worker to worship His Lord in his house and to pray and read what he likes and not to hurt us. And not to do these things publicly. Right? This is a hadith about Isha she's narrating this,

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for we fear that our sons and women may follow him. Even a Davina told abubaker of all of that. So abubaker continued worshiping his Lord in his house and did not pray or recite Quran aloud, except in his house.

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Then I show goes on to say later on, Abu Bakr had an idea of building a Masjid, or a private place of Salah in the courtyard of his house. He fulfilled that idea and started praying and reciting Quran there publicly. The women and the offspring of the pagans of the wish again, started gathering around him and looking at him astonished. And I share in this hadith explains why she says abubaker was a soft hearted man

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and could not help weeping while reciting Quran Subhan Allah. This horrified the pagan chiefs of Quraysh. They sent for even a Davina and when he came they said we have given abubaker protection on condition that he will worship His Lord in his house. But he has transgressed that condition and has built a mosque in the courtyard of his house and offered his prayer and recited the Koran in public. We are afraid lest he mislead our women and offspring. So go to so go to him and tell him that if he wishes he can worship His Lord in His house only. And if not, then tell him to return your pledge of protection. As we do not like to betray you by revoking your pledge, nor can we tolerate other

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backers public declaration of Islam is public worshipping of Allah

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Subhana Allah. So in this Hadith, actually down has describing that she witnessed all of this, right, she witnessed how her parents were struggling, the Muslims are struggling and how her father wanted to make hegira right.

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SubhanAllah. So I think in that, you know, it's also something for us to reflect upon. And other points for us to reflect upon is, you know, this idea of worshipping a light in public. And we should bring our children up to be comfortable with the idea of worshipping Allah in public, right? So that means you know, you go when you're going out, we're going on a trip, we're going on a family holiday, whatever it is, we plan it around the Salah. And when we're out and about and Salah time comes, and we can make what do we make we do? And we pray, even if other people can see us, right? Obviously, if it's a safe place, etc. And so panel, it shows you the impact that visual, the visual

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impact that seeing somebody worship Allah has on other human beings, right? The Qureshi, we're literally worried that people would start getting attracted to this way of worshipping. And that's because my sister's, you know,

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our ibadat everything that we do as Muslims, it is the fitrah, right? It's the fitrah it's the innate and the natural disposition of human beings to be attracted to that. It's only because that, you know, stripped away from that, that they don't feel attracted. But when, when a person with a clean heart, when a person who, you know, doesn't have obstacles in his heart, or doesn't have barriers, actually, witnesses, somebody obeying Allah, somebody's doing something good, they will naturally be drawn to it. And it reminds me of a time when I was in Ireland, actually. And we had a taxi driver or like somebody taking us to the airport. And he was an Irish man. And he said, I you

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know, I don't know how the conversation started, but he just had

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To say to me and my husband, he said, You know, I really admire Muslims, right? And we were like, Okay.

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We wonder, like, what made him say that? So my husband asked him and he said, You know, when I, when I was at the airport last, I saw a Muslim family, praying. They were praying in public. And he said, I just think, you know, nowadays people are so afraid of talking about religion, and people sort of hide their religion. And he said, When I saw them praying, I admired them. So Pinilla, right? So, my sisters, we should never think that people are looking at us in a negative way. This is what Chopin wants us to think. Yes, maybe some people will look up, look at us in a negative way. But usually the people who are looking at us in admiration, right, whether that's for the Salah, whether it's

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for hijab, whether it's for any aspect of being a true believer,

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the people who are looking at us, and when they really think about it, or admiring what we're doing, and kind of their fitrah is kind of drawing them towards us are greater in number than those who are not. It's just that they happen to usually be the quiet ones, right? So we don't get to hear that so often, and they're not like the ones in the media, etc. But so Pamela, you don't know how you're being a lot in public.

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Could be impacting and affecting somebody. Right. So yeah, I just wanted to highlight that point. So now let's talk about

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Ayesha Dillon has marriage to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam.

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Okay, so

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the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his marriages.

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He married for various reasons, we know that, you know, the time of Khadija he didn't marry anyone else right? At the time of Khadija he was married to only Khadija, then after Khadija Dylan had passed away. He went on to marry many women, right?

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around nine women, we believe. And there were various reasons for these marriages. Okay, so I'm just going to highlight a few of those reasons.

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First of all, he actually loved women. Right. And that's not something that we should be

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shy to mention, right? He, he loved to get married. He liked women. Right? It wasn't. And that's something that is natural, right. And he even said it in one of the I had the, you know, he said that.

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One of the things that has been made

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beautiful to him, or something that he really likes of dystonia, or women. Okay.

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So, that's the first reason. The second reason is, he was helping

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widows and women who were divorced, right. So most of his marriages were two women who had previously been married, they were widowed, they were divorced, sometimes it was a, you know, a widow of one of his companions. And he was helping them, right.

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Also to create family bonds between him and his companions. So for example, he married the daughters of abubaker, right and married.

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Aisha, of course, right of the line and the daughter of oma, right, the daughter of a booger and the daughter of Omer hafsa.

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And off man and Ollie married his daughters, didn't they? Right. So you can see that what what what is that doing? What do you think that does? When you?

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You know, when you have those kinds of relations? You can write it in the chat. You know, what, what kind of benefits do you think there are? To those?

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One of the sisters saying, because he was the chief of the tribe, yeah. So he's like a leader. Right. And we know actually, throughout history, it's been the norm that kings and queens and leaders, you know, they, in order to build alliances, what would they do? They would

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marry or into marry, right? even up to recently? I mean, why do you think everyone's making such a big deal out of Megan Markel, being married to Harry, right? I mean, one of the reasons is that there is this understanding that the elite of society or the upper class or the ruling class, they tend to marry other people have a similar

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lineage, but also, you know, look at the

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And she married Prince Philip. Right. And who's he? He's like from another royal family, right? Is he German? I think I forgotten. But yeah, I mean, up until recently, it's very normal for, you know, the European royal families to to intermarry. And they all were actually related, even up to now, in some way. Right?

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That's obviously a modern example. But

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even at the time of the prophets, Allah center, and we know even from back home, right back in India, or Pakistan, or wherever you are from, usually from the eastern countries, we know that marriage is a big deal. Marriage builds connections, right? You're not going to be as harsh with a particular family who is who you have blood relatives with, right? You have some kind of connection with and relationship with. So it's a really natural way to build relationships and connections, alliances,

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you know,

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unity, right? In a society. One of the sisters is saying protection and trust, you know, you can trust the manual giving your daughter or waiting, yes.

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You feel close to one another.

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One of the sisters saying it's a shame that nowadays Muslims look down on someone who married divorced women, when our Prophet salallahu alaihe. Salam did so absolutely.

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None of this and the same system is saying he did that to set an example for us. Exactly. Right. So the fact that the best of creation, married widows, married divorces, what does that say? It says that, you know, there's no taboo, there's no negative connotation to doing that, you know?

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It builds bonds, it strengthens ties, etc. Yeah, so it's just as you're, we're all on the right track. So for all of those positive reasons.

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Also, his marriages helps to spread the message of Islam. Right.

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We will talk about some of those words later, and united different clans.

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So with with what we mentioned earlier, you can see that he had a strong family bond with abubaker, Omar, Furman and Ali, right, they were all related because of marriage, etc.

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So he had a strong relationship with the first four halifa has also

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increased the credibility and the number of sources that there are for conveying his private life. Just think about that, right? Who's gonna know about the personal habits of Rasulullah, sallAllahu wasallam, and convey them to the believers, who's going to know about what's allowed and not allowed in certain types of relationships in intimacy, for example, right? intimacy, while fasting, or, you know, what the boundaries are of that.

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And all sorts of different, you know, fit issues, who's gonna know about all those things, except the people who are the closest to him, right, the people who had those intimate relations with him. So through his marriages, we have increased number of narrations, we have an increased number of sources for conveying the rulings for fat for private family life. If you only had one wife, then it would have been a tremendous responsibility on her to convey the profits private, that's a worship and family life. And people could discredit that person, right. They could try to discredit her or destroy the credibility of those practices. However, with the multiple wives, there was, there were

00:34:05 --> 00:34:49

many more sources for that knowledge, making it more difficult to discredit it. And therefore, his marriages gave more women the opportunity to learn and teach the matters of his private life. So that's another thing right? If you have women who are the wives of the Prophet, they're obviously going to have a closer connection to other women. So when women come and they want to ask those private questions when they want to ask those, you know, embarrassing questions, sometimes they'll find it easier to access the prophets, Allah Salim and his knowledge through his wife's right. So there are all sorts of you can say wisdoms behind the marriages of the Prophet salallahu alayhi

00:34:49 --> 00:35:00

wasallam. And actually, having more than one wife was pretty normal all over the world and even today, you know, in many places,

00:35:00 --> 00:35:31

Still pretty normal, especially if you are a person of high status in society. Right? And that's not a controversial thing to say. That's just a fact. Right? It's just the fact men who are seen as having a higher status in society, right? Because human societies are hierarchical, right? men who are on the top of that hierarchy, tend to attract more women.

00:35:32 --> 00:35:51

They just naturally do. And we can see that and the problems that that causes in the West, right? Because in the east, you know, so if you, if you look at the Arab countries, for example, if you're King, you probably got four wives, right? By default, you know, pretty much

00:35:53 --> 00:35:59

in the West, because the idea of having more than one wife is like, you know, taboo,

00:36:01 --> 00:36:06

what happens instead? Can someone type in the chat what happens instead? Right?

00:36:08 --> 00:36:22

Think of the people who are the top of the so called hierarchy in the West, right? The President Trump's the prince Andrew's, God, sorry, sorry to mention him.

00:36:27 --> 00:37:09

Prince Charles, even Right, so the people who are going to be the next kings and queens and the people, especially the men, I'm talking about the men, right? The norm ends up being that they have extramarital affairs, the norm is adultery. The norm is promiscuity at the top, right. Think about the prime minister of the UK right at the moment. So panela, right, you just have to read just any briefly about their private lives to know that being at the top of the hierarchy, especially as a male attracts more women to you naturally, okay. And

00:37:12 --> 00:37:34

in the West, there is no kind of mechanism for dealing with that, right? Except unfaithfulness, promiscuity, etc, etc. And that's the normal, you know, it's not even like an anomaly is literally the norm. Whereas what we're talking about here is not is not that we're talking about, you know,

00:37:36 --> 00:38:15

something that is pure, that is Halloran that is noble, right? Marrying something that is public, something that means that you take care of the rights of other people, right? You take care of the rights of these women, right? You take care of their, their needs, and their families. So it's a completely different thing. You know, it's a completely different thing. And it's quite funny that, you know, the West kind of frowns upon this practice when we see even in the Bible.

00:38:16 --> 00:38:21

It's the norm, you know, one of the prophets had multiple wives.

00:38:22 --> 00:38:25

Most of them So, anyway, that was just an introduction to

00:38:27 --> 00:38:51

you know, the marriages of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and some of the reasons for those marriages. Now coming to specifically to the marriage of it, shall we, we'll go into the background to her marriage. So just give me one minute, please. Just need to sit more comfortably. Actually, as you can see, today, I've changed the setting, right? How do you like setting by the way?

00:38:53 --> 00:38:57

I had enough of the books, you know, the bookcase setting. So anyway,

00:38:59 --> 00:39:02

my spec? Yeah, I'm sitting on the floor. So.

00:39:06 --> 00:39:12

Okay, so the background to the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam marriage, right.

00:39:14 --> 00:39:35

It was the norm, at that time, all over the world for people to have a marriage contract when they were young. Right? So you you contract the marriage. So you have a nigga, right? When people are young. And obviously that's even the norm even today, in many places around the world, right?

00:39:36 --> 00:39:59

That doesn't mean that you start living with that person, right? Doesn't mean you start living with them. It just means that there's like an agreement, right? There's an official contract that's been drawn up. Okay. She will marry him, right? And sometimes that contract was broken. So in other words, they decided against it and you know, they

00:40:00 --> 00:40:03

They would end that contract. Okay. But

00:40:04 --> 00:40:07

we know that that time it was the norm.

00:40:10 --> 00:40:34

in Arabia, they would then consummate the marriage when both parties were considered physically and mentally ready for marriage right. Now, they didn't decide that by virtue of a particular age. Right? Well, those are the norm now, for there to be like an age of consent, right? So called age of consent. So supposed to be the technically the age at which

00:40:35 --> 00:40:57

a child becomes responsible enough or officially can have relations with somebody right intimate relations, sexual relations, or the age at which they're allowed to get married. Okay. Usually, in modern times, is a particular age that is given to that. But we know that human beings develop at different rates, right?

00:40:58 --> 00:41:04

Which is why even in western countries, you know, just just go back to growing up, you know,

00:41:07 --> 00:41:17

we have we had teenage girls in my class at school, who were 1314, who had who were having, you know,

00:41:18 --> 00:41:54

sexual relations, we had a 15 year old who had literally moved in with some guy, right? I mean, that's even the norm in the West, right, though, this idea of an arbitrary age. You know, it's not really that helpful if you think about it, because human beings develop at different rates. And also, we know that one of the most natural markers for a person being old enough to get married, is puberty. Because literally,

00:41:55 --> 00:42:37

a girl can get pregnant. Right? Once she, once her menses starts, it literally means that she's ovulating, right? So that seems like the most natural marker of a person being able to get married. Obviously, there are other aspects like the mental aspect, right? Is the person mentally or mature, right? Those things are important as well. But we know that at that time, and even today, in many countries in the world, or many places, especially rural places, it's not a number or an age that determines whether a person is ready for marriage. It is.

00:42:38 --> 00:43:12

It is a decision that's kind of made by families. Right. Okay. our daughters ready now. Right? We know our daughter, and we believe that she's ready. Um, I'll just give you the example of my own grandparents, you know, from what I understand, they got married when they were like, 13. Right. And I was like, normal. And, you know, my mom said, you know, people didn't really think about age, when she was younger, they were, they would just look at you and think, Oh, you know, yeah, she's, oh, she's looking old enough now, to get married. Right? So

00:43:14 --> 00:44:05

this is quite a modern idea. You know, having like putting a number to it, right? Doesn't mean that it's completely wrong. No, it's fine. If a society decides that, okay, we want to make this the age. And you know, people agree on that, then then that's fine. We can have modern laws and modern kind of norms. But it's important that when we're looking back in history, that we don't use the markers and the the norms and the cultural standards of today to judge the past. Because that's just unfair, right? It's just unfair. And it's unrealistic, just as it will be unrealistic and unfair for us to project our Western lifestyles and Western norms upon some of the countries in the east, right.

00:44:08 --> 00:44:13

So I think it's really important for us to bear all of that in mind. Okay, so

00:44:15 --> 00:44:21

when a person was considered physically and mentally mature enough, then they would start living together, right.

00:44:23 --> 00:44:33

And I showed her the line when she was actually already engaged to be married. Okay, to jubair the son of what m then ID, which mbean ID is a great

00:44:34 --> 00:44:59

Qureshi. Oh, sorry, he was a great man, you know, great leader in makup. And he really had helped the the Muslims, he helped the prophets, Allah Salam as well, although he didn't become a Muslim himself, but he had his son jubair. And Ayesha was already betrothed to him, right? So there was like an agreement. Okay, yeah. When your son gets old enough will will marry our children to each other.

00:45:00 --> 00:45:02

Yeah, so

00:45:04 --> 00:45:08

the prophets Allah Salaam And meanwhile, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:45:09 --> 00:45:11

was told by,

00:45:14 --> 00:45:52

by Allah subhanaw taala in a dream, he says, When I generates the stream, okay, I generated that the prophet SAW Selim said to her, you were shown to me twice in a dream. I saw you pictured on a piece of silk. And someone said to me, this is your wife. When I uncovered the picture, I saw that it was of you. I said, if this is from Allah, it will come to pass. Okay, how do you think people hiding? So the prophets of Salaam was showing dreams, in which he was told, he would marry inshallah delana.

00:45:55 --> 00:46:02

He was, of course, very affected by the death of Khadija or the olana. Right The love of his life, she

00:46:05 --> 00:46:20

and he remained unmarried after the death of Khadija, which you know, we know that year was called the year of sorrow and husband right the year went by live also passed away he was basically the prophets father figure right? And, and greatest supporter.

00:46:22 --> 00:46:26

And so the prophets of Salaam had been living unmarried for two years.

00:46:27 --> 00:46:36

Hola. Been tacking the wife of a man, you've been avoiding oven, came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and asked him

00:46:37 --> 00:46:39

Do You Do you not want to marry?

00:46:40 --> 00:46:43

He said, but with whom?

00:46:44 --> 00:47:16

And she's the one who broached this subject. And she said, you know, if you want, you could marry a virgin, and a failure. Right? So in. In Arabic, we have these terms, Vicar. failure. Failure means somebody who's been married before, it doesn't mean somebody who is currently married. It can mean somebody who's currently married or it can mean somebody who, basically who is not a virgin, right, who has been married before. And Becker is a virgin, somebody who's never been married and not had relations before.

00:47:18 --> 00:47:28

So she was so basically the profits or loss Allen's family and friends, they could see that him not having a wife

00:47:29 --> 00:47:55

was making him very lonely. You know, he was very lonely. He was still kind of, he still had children, right? Yeah, the household. So they were trying to comfort him trying to suggest this lady, she came to suggest to him, you know, that maybe he should get married. And that's what loved ones do. Right? When you see, you know, sometimes somebody is stuck in a particular state, or you see somebody is

00:47:57 --> 00:48:09

having a difficulty. Sometimes they can't even think what they should do next. Right. And it's the loved ones, the family and friends that sometimes are the ones who have to step up and ask, right and that's what

00:48:11 --> 00:48:11

Pola did.

00:48:13 --> 00:48:27

And so he asked, okay, who is the baker and who is the favorite? Who are these? Like, what's what do you suggest? Okay? She replied, The Booker is Arusha daughter of abubaker.

00:48:29 --> 00:49:18

Actually, she said, she is the daughter of the most beloved of a last creation to you, upon Allah. And as for the fame than it is so that Benzema. She has believed in you and followed you. So she's she's giving him to women who are from a very noble and good background, right? So that because she's one of the early Muslims, and I shot it because she's the daughter of the prophets best friend. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told her to mention it to them. So, you know, just like we have the Auntie's who, who helped her matchmake the prophet SAW Selim aloud, Hola. To go and mention it, see how those people feel about this suggestion, right.

00:49:19 --> 00:49:21

I'm just gonna look at the time now.

00:49:24 --> 00:49:29

Okay, I'm just gonna continue for a few more minutes and then we will have q&a inshallah.

00:49:31 --> 00:49:33

So hola went to

00:49:34 --> 00:49:46

the mother of Ayesha Atlanta, and said, Oh, man, oh, man, what? Goodness and blessing has a lot of calls to come to you, right? So she's saying, Oh my God, I've got this great news for you.

00:49:48 --> 00:49:50

And one woman said, What is that?

00:49:52 --> 00:49:56

And she said, Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is mentioning it shall for marriage.

00:49:58 --> 00:50:00

And romance said okay.

00:50:00 --> 00:50:03

Hey, just wait because wait till abubaker comes.

00:50:04 --> 00:50:05


00:50:07 --> 00:50:52

abubaker First of all, his reaction was, you know, obviously he was happy about it, but because he had already been betrayed somebody, he was a little bit unsure. Like, what he's what the thing of integrity was at that point, you know, for him to do. So abubaker First, he sought clarification regarding his brotherhood with the prophets on the law when he was solo, right? Because, you know, this is the early stages of Islam when brotherhood was being built. And so he thought that the Brotherhood was literal brotherhood, right? So Isn't it like, You're like my daughter's uncle. Right? But the prophet SAW Selim clarify to abubaker that know, our Brotherhood is brotherhood of

00:50:52 --> 00:50:57

Islam, right. So just because we are brothers and sisters in Islam doesn't mean that we're,

00:50:58 --> 00:51:04

you know, like blood relatives, obviously, the blood relatives are different, the different rulings regarding them, right.

00:51:06 --> 00:51:26

Secondly, abubaker remembered his promise to meet em in ID. And so he went to see him right. So because they had previously discussed and had agreed that their two children so Ayesha, and jubair would get married. He thought, you know, it was only the right thing to do, to go and see what's embedded

00:51:28 --> 00:52:05

in his wife, okay, see, by now everyone knew that a walker was a Muslim. And when abubaker came to broach the subject, with him and his wife, they decided Actually, we don't really want our son to marry I shot because they feared that their son would become Muslim, right? And so they there and then they said, No, let's, let's cancel this betrayal. Okay. So then, after that, Abu Bakar, called the Prophet sallallahu sallam, and they conducted the nigga, okay.

00:52:09 --> 00:52:14

What about the matter of Ayesha? Okay. Now Hadith,

00:52:17 --> 00:52:51

of the Salah, even of the man said, I asked Arusha, the wife of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, what the matter? The matter is the dowry, right. So in Islam, when we're getting married, the man of the man side or the man, the husband, he gives a dowry to the wife, okay? It's like a gift, or it's a certain amount of wealth or money or something. Sometimes it's something symbolic, but it's supposed to be usually supposed to be an amount of money that is given to the wife as a gift.

00:52:53 --> 00:53:03

We know that, you know, in some societies, like for example, in, in Indian society, with the Hindus, it was the opposite, that when somebody gets married,

00:53:05 --> 00:53:25

the girl side of the family have to provide a dowry, right, you have to provide lots of things to the husband's side. And unfortunately, that practice has filtered into Muslim communities, right. And so now, so panela, actually, a few days ago, I had a email from somebody, a sister, from Buxton,

00:53:26 --> 00:54:15

who was really distraught, and she was saying that, you know, Subhanallah, that she's about to get married. And our husbands will have, you know, prospective spouses, spouse's side of the family are demanding all sorts of very expensive things that her parents cannot afford. So Pamela, and this practice is completely an Islamic this idea that the girls side of the family are supposed to, you know, furnish and provide for them. For them for the boy side of the family is ridiculous, right? It's supposed to be a diary. It's supposed to be something that the man gives to the woman, okay? And it's, it's something that is for her, it's actually something just for that goal for that for

00:54:15 --> 00:54:22

the bride, right? It's not meant to be like, things that you give to the family, etc, etc. Right. So anyway,

00:54:23 --> 00:54:28

I think because I don't want to go over time because I respect your time, my dear sisters.

00:54:30 --> 00:54:40

I'm going to pause there, and then inshallah next time, we're going to go into how much was the matter of Chateau de Landa. We will talk about

00:54:42 --> 00:54:59

the hedger of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. I'm, I'm purposefully not addressing the so called issue of the marriage of a shot of the Lionheart to the prophet SAW Selim at such a young age yet, okay, because I want to address it

00:55:00 --> 00:55:14

Once they actually start living together, okay, which is yearning in Medina, right? At that point we will talk about the so called controversy about, you know, which is a modern controversy. It's just a modern thing that

00:55:15 --> 00:55:33

orientalist and some non Muslims have kind of brought up, right? The issue of the age of eyeshadow and how when she got married, inshallah, we will address that, but it will be later on. So, inshallah, I'm just going to go to the questions now.

00:55:34 --> 00:55:40

If you have any questions, please do ask away. Anything related to the topic today.

00:55:47 --> 00:56:03

Yeah, so one of the sisters reminds us, Prince Philip, is from the Greek royal family. Yeah, sorry. I knew it was something like that. He's from the Greek royal family going back to Queen Victoria. So again, he's even related to the Queen already, right?

00:56:05 --> 00:56:11

Because there was so much into marriage going on right between the royal families of, of Europe.

00:56:14 --> 00:56:17

And you know that the Queen's family actually German, right.

00:56:19 --> 00:56:21

They basically changed their name to Windsor.

00:56:22 --> 00:56:28

And actually there, is it * *, Coburg? Gotha or something right.

00:56:31 --> 00:56:40

During the war, it was seen as controversial that they had such a German sounding name, right, since the Brits were fighting the Germans. And so they changed their name.

00:56:53 --> 00:57:02

One of the sisters shares that her grandma got married at 13. In Morocco. Yeah. It's kind of normal, really. In many Eastern countries.

00:57:08 --> 00:57:16

I have learned that Hadith is the word for what sort of Lhasa Salaam said, you should use the word afar for Sahaba and to hobbiest sayings?

00:57:18 --> 00:57:19


00:57:24 --> 00:57:30

it's not really as clear cut as that actually, you know, when you look at the books of heavy, heavy, it just means

00:57:32 --> 00:57:44

saying, right? Somebody said something was a narration, right. So yeah, you can say are far for what the Sahaba said. But to be honest, all all of them are are far right.

00:57:46 --> 00:58:03

And so it's not really as clear cut as that, you know, the terms are quite into interchangeable. However, obviously, we should make it clear when we're speaking, whether it's the words of the prophet SAW Selim, or

00:58:04 --> 00:58:06

you know, one of those habits or an opinion etc.

00:58:11 --> 00:58:13

The ruling on marrying your cousins.

00:58:16 --> 00:58:18

The ruling on marrying one's cousins is that

00:58:19 --> 00:58:22

cousins are not my homes. Right. So

00:58:23 --> 00:58:37

your uncles and Auntie's children, when you're adults, you're you would have to wear hijab in front of them, right? Which means that they're not your mom's. And so it's allowed to marry your cousins.

00:58:44 --> 00:58:48

Some of the scholars said that you shouldn't keep insisting on

00:58:49 --> 00:58:57

you know, again, and again marrying cousins to one another, because this can cause health issues. Right.

00:58:59 --> 00:59:04

But theoretically, it's allowed to, you know, even to do it again and again.

00:59:07 --> 00:59:11

Was I should have done her the profits or losses and third wave.

00:59:12 --> 00:59:31

It's not really clear whether she was the third or the second, I think it seems that both so that and Aisha were married pretty much similar times to the prophets, Allah Salah. Okay, but obviously he was he would have lived with soda and not with Ayesha yet, because she was still very young.

00:59:33 --> 00:59:40

Okay, she tells us herself that she was six when the kniga took place. I heard that the royal family is related to the Prophet.

00:59:42 --> 00:59:44

I have no idea about that.

00:59:45 --> 00:59:46

I mean,

00:59:53 --> 00:59:57

I'm really not sure about that. Sorry. Maybe you can send me something about that.

00:59:58 --> 00:59:59

Well, you know, so Pamela

01:00:00 --> 01:00:06

All of us human beings were interrelated, right? kulana bunny Bunny, Adam Riker all the children of Adam.

01:00:07 --> 01:00:25

When you were discussing, openly worshiping alone public and trying to be comfortable with that, how do we go about achieving that? Because I've tried it and I feel that my for sure is less I did not focus as much. Well, you know, the more you do it, the more desensitized you become to it. At the end of the day, you know,

01:00:27 --> 01:00:29

so just keep doing it.

01:00:31 --> 01:00:46

Is it true that if your mother breastfeed your cousin's, or their mother breastfeeds me that they will be? Yes. So all the children that have been breastfed by one woman, they're all morons to one another, right?

01:00:47 --> 01:00:54

Because they, because that one woman is their foster mother, a suckling mother.

01:00:56 --> 01:00:58

Okay, I think that's pretty much

01:00:59 --> 01:01:47

all of the questions of hamdulillah. There's something I want to correct from last time, because I did listen to him to the, to the recording, or part of it. And I think there was a point where my train of thought kind of just disappeared. And the point I was trying to make was that one of the special things about Abdullah bin Zubair, right, the son of Ayesha sister, a smart one of the special things about him, was that he had the most generations of Sahaba in his family, right. So he was a Sahabi. And his mother was a habia. And her father was a Sahabi, boubakeur. And his father was a hobby of uncle hoffa. That was the point that I was trying to make, and I think I lost my train of

01:01:47 --> 01:01:47


01:01:48 --> 01:01:54

So that was a unique thing that you know, Abdullah, bin Zubair was blessed with.

01:01:55 --> 01:02:37

Okay, so just like Camilla Heron, sisters in sha Allah and look forward to us meeting next time and going through the history of the prophet SAW Selim, the role that he played in that, and then also her own hedgerow, right, and how was it that she managed to travel and inshallah, what we'll do next time is begin by talking about the topic of hedgerows itself, you know, when does it become obligatory for a Muslim to migrate? And in our time, is it obligatory for us to migrate? Shouldn't we be living in Muslim majority lands? inshallah we will talk about all of those things as I come, allow Heron

01:02:38 --> 01:02:47

subhanak Aloha, Moby hamburger Chateau La La in the interest of firaga to blue lake. Salam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

01:02:54 --> 01:02:56

I shall. I shall.

01:02:59 --> 01:03:01

I shall I shall.

01:03:04 --> 01:03:06

She was

01:03:09 --> 01:03:13

peace be upon him. We love him so.

01:03:14 --> 01:03:17

Our amazing father was.

01:03:25 --> 01:03:27

I shall, I shall.

01:03:30 --> 01:03:32

I shall, I shall

01:03:36 --> 01:03:36

watch the

01:03:39 --> 01:03:40

woman's gone.

01:03:44 --> 01:03:47

She was in

01:03:49 --> 01:03:50

third grade.

01:03:55 --> 01:03:56

She was

01:04:20 --> 01:04:21

she was

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