70 Major Sins #27 – Sin 51 Being Overbearing 52 Harming Neighbours, 53 Insults & Abuse

share this pageShare Page
Fatima Barkatulla

Channel: Fatima Barkatulla

Series:

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:03--> 00:00:33

Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu wa salam ala Rasulillah Thea sisters, Salam alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh. And welcome to another class from our series 17 major sins and how to avoid them based on GitHub, Acaba, earby, Imam and fabby. So, this time, we're on major sin number 51, can you believe we've been through 50 of the major sins, and now we've got 20, left 19 Left.

00:00:34--> 00:00:44

This is major sin number 51. being overbearing towards the weak slaves, girls, just means young girls.

00:00:45--> 00:00:46

wives

00:00:47--> 00:00:56

and towards animals. Alice DiPaola. Allah dyfi While I'm low key, well, Jerry, it was so JT what the

00:00:58--> 00:01:17

so these are all categories of things, that there's some kind of Hadith or some statement from the muscles from the texts, Islamic texts, to say some to say that a person who is overbearing over these categories of people,

00:01:19--> 00:01:22

you know, will incur a punishment or

00:01:23--> 00:02:03

Allah's Anger, etc, right. What you note about all of the categories is that they're basically anyone over whom you have power, strength or authority, right? I think those are the things that those categories have in common. So it's the whole idea of the strong, not oppressing the weak, because there's, it's very tempting for people who have authority over somebody else, to become tyrannical. You know, it's not just tempting, it's easy for that line to be crossed. You know, some of you might have, I don't know, if you've been to Muslim countries, or if you've even back in like India, and places like that.

00:02:05--> 00:02:25

Where people have servants, especially back in those countries, right? There's, sometimes you have a live in servant, right, or a servant who just does everything, in terms of the household chores, the cleaning that everything, right. And it's very easy when you have somebody like that, okay?

00:02:26--> 00:02:49

To kind of cross into across the boundaries, and start becoming oppressive towards them, because the position that you're in means that they can't really do anything about it, they can't really do anything about it. So your ability to abuse, that authority, and that position that you've been given, is very high, you know, you have the ability to do that.

00:02:50--> 00:03:41

And so this is why I believe this category is emphasized in this category also, is mentioned, not being overbearing towards the elderly, towards one's parents, you know, when they become older, because, again, that's another category that is, you know, elderly people, they're very easy for younger people to overlook, and start becoming overbearing towards them on very oppressive, also in this category is that a master cannot abuse or harm a slave. So this is obviously in the times when there were slaves, and then people used to think that they could just do whatever they want, right? But now, Islam came to regulate that whole system. And so, it wasn't allowed for a master to be

00:03:41--> 00:04:18

abusive or harmful to a slave, even verbally, right. And today, we could maybe apply that to servants, you know, any servant, any kind of person who's working for you, especially somebody who may be you know, is doing menial work, work that is considered very low paid, etc, you know, a man cannot be overbearing towards no harm a woman, this comes into this category too, because again, Allah gave one generally speaking, a man is stronger than a woman physically right. And in the hierarchy of the home, the man is

00:04:19--> 00:04:42

the head of the house, right? So, and a woman is more likely to be very dependent on him, so he can not be overbearing nor harm the women in his life. Humans cannot be overbearing towards animals, again, a category of so humans there tend to they are more intelligent than animals obviously, and have

00:04:43--> 00:04:47

more ability to use exploit animals.

00:04:48--> 00:04:59

Allah subhanaw taala placed animals on earth for human beings to benefit from but not to harm, you know, not to bring them on do not to give them any kind of pain that

00:05:00--> 00:05:13

is unnecessary. So with the category of slaves, there's a lot of there are lots of Hadith about the good treatment of slaves, we're just going to mention one here, a slave is owed his food and clothing and should not be made to do what he is unable to do.

00:05:14--> 00:05:28

Right and there even had the it's about not insulting slaves, you know, because somebody might become angry, like, maybe a slave didn't do something the way they wanted. It's very easy for them to name call, you know, and stuff like that.

00:05:29--> 00:05:30

But even that was forbidden.

00:05:31--> 00:06:17

And some of the Sahaba when they felt they'd been overbearing towards the slave, like if they made out of anger, called the slaver name, or said something, you know, like slanderous about a slave, they would feel so bad, because they would fear that they'd wronged that slave, right? And they would end up just freeing them, just to kind of compensate them, they'll say, look, you're free, because they feared they'd wronged them. And so even slaves on the Day of Judgment, will be compensated for the ill treatment meted out to them by their masters on the Day of Judgment. In Cadabra, CarBuyer, Amanda heavy talks about even things like separating a female slave from her

00:06:17--> 00:06:37

child being forbidden, separating two siblings, you know, who are slaves, slaves, if there's two children, you're supposed to try and keep them together. Right? Obviously, this is in that system. And in that time, but you can see, even with regards to slaves, they were not in the Islamic

00:06:39--> 00:06:49

reform of that system. They were not treated, they were not property. You know, they were not considered property.

00:06:50--> 00:07:31

In the same way, not, they would then become objects. They were humans, but they were there was a different system and a different hierarchy in society, and primarily, slaves were a way to integrate prisoners of war into society. Right. So after a war, there'll be lots of prisoners from the other side. And so the way to integrate them into society is, was through slavery. But we should understand that that the system of slavery that existed in Muslim lands was not the same as what existed in America. And in Europe.

00:07:32--> 00:07:51

It was different in many ways, and you can read up on that, you know, there's many books that have been written on that topic. And there was always this encouragement to free slaves. Yeah, some scholars say that there was even a drive towards the abolishment of slavery, but it was being done in stages and slowly

00:07:52--> 00:07:53

so that

00:07:54--> 00:08:04

society could handle the change, you know, but definitely right from the beginning, the Prophet SAW Salem instituted rites for slaves.

00:08:06--> 00:08:19

You know, the Quran says, marrying a slave who is a believer is better, or a slave who is a believer is better. Then a disbeliever, who is, you know,

00:08:20--> 00:08:29

like the you'd like, who's who's not a slave, you know. And we learned from this section also, the animals have rights in Islam.

00:08:30--> 00:09:15

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us didn't mean the famous story. He said that a woman entered the Hellfire because of a cat, which she had tied. She tied up a cat. And she didn't give the cat food, nor allowed it to have the freedom to just find any food for itself, you know, like, just scratch around for insects or something. And so in other words, that woman was making sure that the cat would suffer. And the Prophet SAW sort of said that she will enter Hellfire because of it. And it's understood from this that she was a Muslim. She was a believer, a believer who, from where maybe what from one of the nation's before, who basically torture the cat. And because of that, she

00:09:15--> 00:09:18

was put into the hellfire. This is what makes it a major sin.

00:09:19--> 00:09:29

So cruelty towards animals, torturing animals, things like that is a major sin. This includes hitting them, prolonging their pain, of course, like when you hit

00:09:31--> 00:09:47

a horse when you're trying to or even a camel when you're trying to ride it to make it go faster. That's different. We're talking about hitting for the hitting sake, prolonging their pain in slaughter for food, burning them or their homes.

00:09:48--> 00:09:53

Yeah, so there's even Hadith about not burning anthills you know?

00:09:55--> 00:09:59

Or, yeah, so so not burning the homes of animals.

00:10:00--> 00:10:15

not separating animals from their children SubhanAllah. You know, I think it was this was with regards to some birds, a bird and the baby birds and somebody had separated the babies from the mother.

00:10:17--> 00:10:22

And the Prophet SAW Salem, you know, remarked about that in a negative way.

00:10:23--> 00:10:37

Um, starving animals, of course, even slaughtering a baby animal in front of its mother is considered cruelty to animals, no. Have an awareness, obviously, what's going on, right?

00:10:39--> 00:10:42

So, we're not meant to do any of these kinds of things.

00:10:44--> 00:10:53

Also, killing animals for sport, is disliked. Right? When we slaughter an animal, we do it in the name of Allah. And it's for food.

00:10:55--> 00:10:58

And other things, right? It's not just for fun.

00:10:59--> 00:11:01

Because it's a fun thing to do. Right?

00:11:03--> 00:11:25

Yeah, that's like a British thing, isn't it? I think Americans do as well, just hunting, you know, just hunting for hunting sake, if it is harmful, if it's in a harmful creature like scorpion, a snake something that could poison you, right, etc. Or if it's a pest, like mice, rats, insects that become pests, right?

00:11:26--> 00:12:11

Then killing it is permitted, it has to be proportionate. And it must be in a swift uncool way. I was actually thinking about this the other day, because in the UK, if you ever have like a mice infestation or you know, any kind of if you're worried that you've got mice in your neighborhood, or whatever, the main way that they deal with it is through poison, they don't traps and all that kind of thing. They don't really do that. They don't really do traps, they put poison out. And then the the pest will take the poison and run away and probably dehydrate to death. Right, which is actually quite cruel if you think about it. Right.

00:12:12--> 00:12:36

So that was just something that I was thinking about when I was reading this because in in other countries and you know, they actually just have traps they put traps out, might not be the nicest way to deal with an animal. Right. But at least it's like Swift, usually the, you know, kills the animal swiftly. Whereas

00:12:37--> 00:12:41

dehydrating an animal to death, that just seems so

00:12:42--> 00:12:43

that seems cruel, right?

00:12:44--> 00:13:06

But anyway, that was just a reflection I was having. I'm not sure what, you know, scholars would say about that, actually, but that's the way that they deal with it in certainly many Western countries when it comes to pests. But of course, that's allowed because that's a harm, right? I mean, like dealing with pests is allowed, you should try to do it in the Swift way.

00:13:07--> 00:13:51

Again, you know, there's so many Hadith about treating your wife's wife, well, fear Allah regarding women, barely you have taken them as a trust from Allah. And then about parents, you know, my mother, HERBIE says that one should not raise their voice, or rebuke, or even look in anger towards one's parents. It's panela. That's really heavy, right? That one, that one's very, any easy for us to fall into, right? Like looking in anger towards your parents say you got annoyed with something they say in he says, You should behave like a servant in their presence. Pamela, there's something for us to learn. You know, I witnessed my father with his script with his father. He was like that,

00:13:51--> 00:14:10

and we're younger, my grandfather came from India. And my dad would not even sit on the same level as his dad, or above him, you know, he would only sit below his dad. So his dad would be sitting on the sofa and my dad would be sitting on the floor.

00:14:11--> 00:14:57

Or they would both be sitting on the floor, but my dad would never sit above his father. And I thought, well, that's like Subhanallah you know, this like, is something he's obviously the adverb that he had. That, in our times has been lost, right? And we need to remind ourselves and I think that's why it's so important to spend time with elders and with people of knowledge, people of piety, because you really learn from just being in the company, you know, so I remember my my father was always like, trying to be light hearted in front of his parents always trying to make things easy for them. Never raise his voice to them. Even if there was something annoying or whatever. He

00:14:57--> 00:14:59

would just be really

00:15:00--> 00:15:01

accomodating, you know,

00:15:03--> 00:15:25

example for us, again, you know, being repeatedly rebuking your parents being negative towards them, it really hurts them. It hurts them in a way that they won't even say, but No parent wants, you know, in all those years, they did all that they did for you. Nobody hopes or wishes that their child will ever turn around and be rude and nasty to them, right?

00:15:27--> 00:15:55

So we've got to really be sensitive towards our parents and just overlook, like, one of the policies that I think we should all have is, if your parents asked you to do something, or you, you sense that they want something. Try your best to be able to say yes, do what you can to be able to say yes, do what you can to be able to accommodate them. I have a friend whenever, like, say I'm on the phone to her, and her mom calls

00:15:56--> 00:16:03

like, and it shows up on her phone that her mom is calling. She will not hesitate to say to me I need to go. My mom was calling, you know,

00:16:04--> 00:16:12

she wouldn't think of her mom as an inconvenience. Instead, she would, you know, tell her friend, you know, I've got to go.

00:16:13--> 00:16:26

And that's how we should be you know, we should not be treating our parents as inconveniences. No, they are our duty. If they want to contact us, we should do our best to be able to answer. Okay, this is a very interesting narration that I found.

00:16:27--> 00:17:04

This is separate. It's not from a don't think it's incredible KOBO? Yeah, no, it's not incredible KOBO. This was something I found separately. The moment they have you mentioned somewhere else. And I really like it. You know, because it's so interesting. Let me just explain it. This isn't the time of Omar, obviously, when he was leader. And it's reported that a man came to Omar complaining about his wife's ill temper. And while he was waiting outside on mobile apps house, he heard Omar his wife scolding him, okay.

00:17:05--> 00:17:13

And Omar was quietly listening to her. And he wasn't answering back. So when the man saw this, he thought I forget this, you know, like,

00:17:14--> 00:17:37

almost even though has his own problems with his wife, like, I Why am I here, asking him about my problems, and he's got problems himself. So he said, it says he turned around and started to walk away, muttering, muttering to himself. If that's the case with Omar, the leader of the believers who is famous for his uprightness and toughness, then what about for of me?

00:17:38--> 00:18:27

At that moment, Omar came out of his house, and he saw the man walking away, and he called him and he said, What is it you want of me? Oh, man, the man replied. Ameerul Momineen, I came to complain to you about my wife's bad temper and how she nags me, then I heard your wife doing the same to you. So I turned around muttering to myself, if that's the situation of the leader of the believers, then what about me? Oh, my replied, Oh, my brother, I bear with her because of her rights over me. She cooks my food, bakes my bread, washes my clothes, breastfeeds my child. And yet none of these things are her duty. And then she is a comfort to my heart, and keeps me away from forbidden deeds.

00:18:27--> 00:18:39

Consequently, I bear with her, the man said it is the same with me. Oh, I mean, what meaning? Almost said then oh, my brother be patient with her. Indeed, this life is short.

00:18:40--> 00:18:48

I love that last bit. Did this life is short. SubhanAllah? Like, can you imagine? Like you could you could think that about so many situations in this world, right?

00:18:50--> 00:19:10

Life is short. Let me just be patient with the situation, you know. So um, that one made me laugh. But it's actually got a very powerful message in it right? You want to screenshot this one and send it to your husbands by the way? Okay, this is a good one. This is a good one to have in your, in your notes.

00:19:11--> 00:19:28

It just Subhanallah shows you the humanity of the Sahaba right of Omar benefit Bob, and his wisdom. And of course, this goes the other way around as well as spouses, anyone if you're going to live with somebody for a lifetime, right?

00:19:29--> 00:19:47

There's going to be situations where you enjoy one another. There's going to be situations where, you know, there's tension, there's issues and the wise person is the one who realizes what the other person does, you know, we take for granted from our spouses so much that they do

00:19:48--> 00:19:59

if we were to make a list of that, just keep it somewhere. Every time you get a bit of noise, just read that list. It will remind you of all the things that that person does that are good and that

00:20:00--> 00:20:42

make your life easier, right? Because that's literally what Omar is doing here, thinking, Well, look, she does all this stuff for me. Okay, she nags me, maybe I can just ignore that. Right? Maybe I can just be patient with that. Obviously, that's not to say that nagging is a good thing. Okay. But it's just shows you how you have to do that self talk. You know, whenever you feel angry whenever you feel like retribution, you know, wanting retribution, wanting to express your anger, etc. You've, you've got to do that kind of self talk, thinking to yourself, Okay, what does this person does so much for me? They've got this one negative characteristic, or I'm going through a

00:20:42--> 00:20:54

tough time with them right now. But keep things in perspective. Right. That's, I think what Omar is doing here? I just thought it was interesting. Have you thought or an interesting story to put here? Because

00:20:55--> 00:21:03

we're talking about not being overbearing towards the husband not being overbearing towards his wife? Right?

00:21:04--> 00:21:06

Because see how Omar talked to himself about

00:21:07--> 00:21:31

how to bear some of the harms of his wife. Okay, the next major sin 52 is harming one's neighbors. SubhanAllah. This is one that Muslims should all be aware of. Right? I think people are aware of this, but sometimes we forget what exactly it means to be kind to the neighbors and or to not harm the neighbors.

00:21:32--> 00:21:45

Abracadabra, the lion who narrated the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, He will not enter Paradise, whose neighbor is not secure from his evil.

00:21:46--> 00:21:52

If your neighbor is not safe from being harmed by you, then

00:21:54--> 00:21:58

the Prophet SAW Selim said, that person will not enter Paradise, Pamela.

00:21:59--> 00:22:06

And that's why we should be eager. You know, like in this country, sometimes you have this sort of really selfish attitude of,

00:22:08--> 00:22:47

for example, right, my neighbor, she had some, like, we've got a wall between our gardens, right, like a fence between our gardens. And we've got this like ivy that's growing. And the IV from our side, was growing over into her garden, and just really pouring over into her garden. And it was too much, you know, it's growing too much. She was saying to me, you know, can you please do something about this, you know, and there was not really much I could do on our side, we could get it cut. But then, you know, we thought to ourselves, Well, when we have this gardener come sometimes,

00:22:48--> 00:22:51

when he comes, why don't we just pay him extra,

00:22:52--> 00:23:36

and offer to the lady that he will come into her garden and cut the bits that annoy her? Now I could, we could have fought in a tit for tat way, you know, we could think was her garden, it's her side. Her side is not really our responsibility, right? Technically, probably that's true. Her side of the garden is not necessarily our responsibility. However, just the fact that my that your neighbor has expressed some annoyance about something that is potentially caused by you. Right? Well, that could be made better by you. For a Muslim that should be enough for us to be like, let me do something about this. Even if it means me spending money, even if it's not, strictly speaking my

00:23:36--> 00:23:37

responsibility, right?

00:23:38--> 00:24:24

I should do whatever I can to accommodate my neighbor to help my neighbor even if it means spending money. Why? Because that's a sign of being a believer, not thinking in those kind of materialistic terms, but thinking about pleasing Allah. The fact that this is your neighbor, neighbor has huge rights. If you look up Hadith about neighbors, you'll find so many Subhanallah the next one, even Omar reported the messenger of allah sallallahu sallam said Jabril did not stop advising me to treat neighbors. Well, to the point that I thought he would make them my heirs SubhanAllah.

00:24:25--> 00:24:47

Like, do you realize how I'm kept emphasizing the good treatment of neighbors so much that the profit center Lowe's and and I thought, maybe they're going to inherit as well? Maybe we're supposed to leave part of our inheritance to them as well. In this hadith, a man said, O Messenger of Allah. A woman prays fast and gives charity often, but she harms her neighbor with her sharp tongue.

00:24:48--> 00:24:54

The messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said he often not he said she will be in the hellfire.

00:24:55--> 00:24:59

The man said O Messenger of Allah. Another woman prays fast

00:25:00--> 00:25:09

and gives in charity. Very little, but she does give some cheese does his hay and she does not harm her neighbor with her tongue.

00:25:10--> 00:25:14

Okay? So she gives some charity and she,

00:25:15--> 00:25:25

you know she doesn't harm her neighbor, the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, she will be in paradise, she will be in paradise. So you see

00:25:26--> 00:25:29

panela Islam is not just about

00:25:31--> 00:25:32

fasting and praying.

00:25:33--> 00:25:37

And charity, it is those things, you know, those things are important.

00:25:38--> 00:26:16

But look how much Allah subhanaw taala values, the heart of another human being, and how we treat that person, it can raise your status up. Now, if you're a person who's not that good in those areas, those aren't your strongest points. But you treat people well. And I'm not saying that you don't do the obligatory things, right? Obviously, those are a must. But I mean, maybe you're not the sort of person who prep fasts all the time, you know, like every single month, or every Monday and Thursday, maybe you're not that person, right.

00:26:17--> 00:26:22

But you're somebody who doesn't harm your neighbor, that you're kind to people

00:26:23--> 00:27:04

that has a huge weight in the last kind of Allah sighs a sign of deficiency in a man in a bus reported that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, he is not a believer, his stomach is filled, while the neighbor to his side goes hungry. And you know, that kind of highlights to you, it doesn't actually just highlight that, it doesn't just highlight that, you know, you're supposed to share food with your neighbors, but it shows that you're supposed to kind of know what's going on with your neighbor. Right? Unfortunately, kind of losing that, in this society, especially in Western countries. You know, people don't really know their neighbors, they're not expected to know

00:27:04--> 00:27:37

them. In fact, people kind of avoid, avoid bumping into each other, right? But we have to change that, we don't have to be that way. We should greet our neighbors, we should ask after them. If you move into a new home, you need to, you know, like, take the step go cross over to the person who lives in front of you, the person to the left person to the right, etc. And reach out to them in some way. Imagine if every Muslim in non Muslim countries especially Imagine if every Muslim did that.

00:27:38--> 00:27:54

and made it their business to take care of their neighbor to their right left from above what depending on if they live in a flat? You know, can you imagine that wouldn't that would change the way people relate to Muslims.

00:27:55--> 00:28:01

That would make our communities so much stronger. That would make Muslims the

00:28:02--> 00:28:33

the linchpins the kind of most valuable people in that society, right, the MVPs of that community. And so we're supposed to know what's going on with our neighbors, it shouldn't be the case that our neighbor can't reach out to us doesn't feel they could reach out to us for anything that they need. Bearing harm from neighbors is also part of this, you know, it's not just about not harming them, or doing good to them. It's also about being patient when they harm you.

00:28:34--> 00:28:34

Okay.

00:28:38--> 00:28:41

And there's a story in imam of the heavy talks about

00:28:42--> 00:28:43

the story of Sal

00:28:45--> 00:28:49

believe he was a tabby, one of the Salaf. And

00:28:50--> 00:28:52

he had a major neighbor,

00:28:53--> 00:28:57

and neighbor who's a non Muslim who lived above him.

00:28:58--> 00:29:22

And the neighbor had this kind of some kind of leakage, right from his toilet. So by then, in those times, they did have toilets either attached to the house or within the house, right? And some kind of toilet, right. And the water, the dirty water from that used to leak into Sam's house.

00:29:24--> 00:29:36

Okay. And when Sam was on his deathbed, he called on this neighbor, okay, and the neighbor came, and he said, Look, I didn't want to mention this to you, because,

00:29:37--> 00:29:59

you know, I didn't want to mention this to you. But I feel like I should because I don't know who's going to be your neighbor after me. And I die. I don't know who's going to be your neighbor. And maybe that neighbor won't be able to handle it. So I just wanted to let you know that you go into that room and have a look. And the neighbor went into the room, had a look and saw that there was

00:30:00--> 00:30:00

leakage.

00:30:02--> 00:30:09

And he was so embarrassed he came in, he said, Have you been? Have you been patient with this for so many years or so long?

00:30:10--> 00:30:12

And you never even said anything?

00:30:13--> 00:30:16

And Sal said, you know,

00:30:17--> 00:30:20

I wouldn't have even told you today, I only told you because

00:30:22--> 00:30:33

you might not have a neighbor who's going to be able to be nice to you about it. Right? After me. SubhanAllah. And the major one, it says in this, in this narration the major and said,

00:30:34--> 00:30:39

You're treating me so well, and I'm not even one of your brothers. I'm not even a Muslim, right.

00:30:40--> 00:30:50

And that day, that moment, he said, I want to become a Muslim and he took his shahada Subhanallah because of the good treatment of Sal.

00:30:52--> 00:30:58

I think a Salah bin Abdullah to study I think that's what his name is. Subhanallah right.

00:31:00--> 00:31:06

Can you imagine the way we treat our neighbors could endear them to Islam.

00:31:08--> 00:31:18

And just think about what Sal had been going through right? Like we get annoyed in our times, neighbor neighbors get annoyed with each other for parking in front of each other's houses. Right?

00:31:19--> 00:31:29

Look how that should not ever be a Muslims reaction. By the way. You know, even if your neighbor annoys you a little bit. Even if your neighbor annoys you a lot.

00:31:31--> 00:31:33

If you bear it, you will get rewarded for it.

00:31:35--> 00:31:55

Okay, it is okay to say something to them. We're not saying you are not allowed. You can you can say something in a nicely like if you don't mind, you know this thing is causing me harm. Is it okay if we do this, whatever. But what I'm saying is the default attitude should be overlook as much as possible, overlook as much as possible.

00:31:56--> 00:32:00

Major sin number 53 Other most Muslimeen

00:32:01--> 00:32:04

will shut me home abusing and insulting

00:32:05--> 00:32:31

other Muslims. Allah Subhana Allah says in the Quran Oh you have believed Yeah, are you and Levina Amman do not ridicule Let not one group of people to ridicule another group of people. Perhaps they may be better than them. More or less women, one group of women ridicule another. Perhaps they may be better than them

00:32:32--> 00:32:34

and do not insult one another

00:32:35--> 00:32:55

and do not call each other by offensive nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after faith. Right calling someone a facet basically after they have become a believer is a terrible thing. Right? And whoever does not repent, then it is those who are the wrongdoers?

00:32:58--> 00:33:00

I was just thinking about this the other day and I was thinking

00:33:03--> 00:33:22

generally you don't see Muslims insulting one another blatantly okay? Not with insults. Okay. I don't know, I might be wrong, in my experience. But what you do see people insulting one another with his labels of different groups and sects.

00:33:23--> 00:33:24

Have you noticed that?

00:33:26--> 00:33:39

Right, one group of Muslims will say, Oh, he's a deviant. They are deviants, right. Or that person? Oh, he's just a liberal. Oh, he's just a modernist. Are they just super this?

00:33:40--> 00:33:50

They're just Ultra that. Right? They're just a hobby. They're just this, they're, you know, you get the picture, right? They're just Sufis.

00:33:51--> 00:33:57

And we use those labels in a way as if they're bad words SubhanAllah. And this terrible,

00:33:58--> 00:34:00

that's terrible. You know,

00:34:01--> 00:34:10

we're not using it in an academic way where people are trying to, you know, I don't know, discuss the different sects and whatever, that's fine. You know, there might be cough, reason for that.

00:34:11--> 00:34:23

But the way, the lazy way in which, in our culture, people have started using these names, is like a slur is like a bad word.

00:34:24--> 00:34:59

An insult that you're throwing at somebody, even though they're a believer, subhanAllah or they're a Muslim, have to be really careful, have to be really careful. Doesn't mean don't call people out, like, have a discussion with them about their beliefs if they've got some erroneous beliefs or erroneous statements and things like that. We're not talking about that. We're talking about this culture of labeling and constantly. Finally labels at everyone. You know, the Prophet sallallahu wasallam said, one of the people in the worst position with Allah on the Day of Judgment

00:35:00--> 00:35:07

We'll be one whom people used to avoid out of fear of his rudeness.

00:35:08--> 00:35:12

And the word is fresh, flashy, flashy. He is.

00:35:14--> 00:35:43

It's like his brashness, his crudeness and rudeness, you know, people avoid that person. I mean, this is like a warning to us, right? Make sure you're not one of those. Make sure you're not the sort of person who people avoid because you're going to say something negative, you're going to say something that hurts them, if had bad experience with you, right. And another Hadith, the Prophet sallallahu wasallam, is reported to her said, the Muslim is the most is the brother of a Muslim.

00:35:44--> 00:35:49

He must not wrong him, he must not disappoint him, meaning let him down.

00:35:50--> 00:35:56

Or belittle him, it is enough evil for a man to demean his brother Muslim,

00:35:57--> 00:36:01

demeaning any look down on him and consider him little.

00:36:02--> 00:36:22

or belittle him, you know, SubhanAllah. And you just think about this, you know, you know that a Muslim does not, does not betray a Muslim or doesn't dis? What did I say? disappoint, what did I say is the other word for disappoint that down. We don't let another Muslim down, is relying on us.

00:36:24--> 00:36:27

And I was just thinking about this. When I was reading this, I was thinking about the

00:36:28--> 00:36:42

brothers and sisters in China, right, in, you know, the, the, the area where the weekers live the Uighur Muslims, and I was just thinking Subhanallah, you know, yesterday was the protest for,

00:36:44--> 00:36:44

you know, to,

00:36:46--> 00:37:31

to call out the Chinese government for what they're doing in terms of oppressing the Muslims, and in London and in Manchester. And one of the themes that kept coming up is we want to show our brothers and sisters in those lands, that we care that they haven't been completely forgotten by the Muslims because as far as they're concerned, they feel forgotten. They feel let down, like we're saying in this hadith, but a Muslim does not let down another Muslim. And so, you know, sisters, whenever these kinds of situations come up, where Allah ma are telling us, you know, come to this protest, or come to this, speak up against this, write a letter about this, especially those of us living in the

00:37:31--> 00:37:49

West, we have a lot of freedom. And with that freedom comes a lot of responsibility towards our brothers and sisters, whether it's in Palestine, whether it's in China, whether it's in any part of the world, you know, and sometimes we give more attention to some areas than others

00:37:51--> 00:37:57

know if they are Muslims, especially, they have a closer more right over us.

00:37:58--> 00:38:10

We should care about cause any injustice, right, even injustice towards non Muslims. But obviously, there's a certain higher level of right that we have towards or affinity that we have towards

00:38:12--> 00:38:19

fellow believers, right. So we should we should do our best we should get involved.

00:38:23--> 00:38:25

Just to not let our brothers and sisters down.

00:38:26--> 00:38:40

Even though we do feel helpless, and we do feel like we can't really do much. Still it means a lot to them, means a lot to them when they see their brothers and sisters, you know, coming out

00:38:45--> 00:38:51

of a coup d'etat on the line who is reported to have said reported her said that somebody said messenger of Allah.

00:38:53--> 00:38:55

Yet we've already mentioned this hadith Haven't we

00:38:57--> 00:39:01

that, you know, a lady who prays and fosse in the night.

00:39:02--> 00:39:09

She prays in the night and fosse in the day, but she harms her neighbor. So this is a repetition that these

00:39:15--> 00:39:17

so just some points to remember, harming

00:39:19--> 00:39:45

with means What does harming mean, harming a Muslim means with actions or speech, and it could even be through abandoning that person as well. In the time of need. So when you abandon someone, you're not doing anything. You're not saying anything. It's actually the lack of doing something and lack of saying something. That is the fact that that is making you harm them. Right.

00:39:48--> 00:39:58

So fulfilling your neighbors you're not just your neighbors by your fellow Muslim, especially their needs, right? Knowing if people need something just give it

00:40:00--> 00:40:04

Just give it easily not for that person. Do it for Allah.

00:40:06--> 00:40:15

Brotherhood. So it's not the brotherhood of Islam of faith entails a higher level of rights. Right?

00:40:16--> 00:40:18

Even when a Muslim dies,

00:40:19--> 00:40:28

wherever only supposed to mention their good qualities, now that person's dead, what's the point? What's the point of mentioning negative things about them? No,

00:40:29--> 00:40:29

there's no point.

00:40:31--> 00:40:57

They know what they've done wrong now, right? They from the inside, any the time is up. And they will be 100% aware of what what's happening to them and what's coming for them, right. So there's no, we shouldn't mention their bad deeds, we shouldn't mention negative things about them, we should mention their good qualities. And we should expiate their bad deeds, in other words, do something that will help them to

00:40:58--> 00:41:08

reduce their sins, you know, by doing it's the fire for them by giving some sadaqa doing something for them, that with the intention that they will get the reward.

00:41:10--> 00:41:48

Don't create enmity between people, so Subhanallah part of not harming people is not creating enmity between people. And when we look into double CarBuyer mama Daddy has a whole section, he made a whole section on not causing harm between people, you know, not being a stirrer, somebody who stirs up trouble. And we all know people like that, right? Or we have known people like that. They go to one person say, You know what he's saying about you, you know what she said about you? You know what, such and such really think of you, right? And then they do the same to somebody else.

00:41:49--> 00:41:58

They start trouble fitting up, right? in society and in communities. They're nosy, and they just spread

00:42:00--> 00:42:05

negative feelings, within a family within a community, etc.

00:42:06--> 00:42:14

Don't be that sort of person. And there's a whole section on as I said, in my mother biscuits, I will talk about that we'll touch on some of those narrations next time

00:42:15--> 00:42:25

and mend relationships between people is sly, right, trying to do a slap between people trying to mend relations.

00:42:27--> 00:43:21

And this should say instigating even instigating fights between animals is forbidden. subhanho even mentions that you know, these getting animals to fight each other a sport, even that is forbidden. These are the situations when lying is permitted. Or it's not considered a sin, right. And this hadith, unconfirmed, bent, Akbar said, I never heard the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi salam grant a concession allowing any kind of lying, except in three cases, number one, a man who says something intending thereby to bring about reconciliation. So trying to make solid bainer to between two people, right? Bring two people who may be having some arguments and negative feelings, bring

00:43:21--> 00:43:27

them together, or even to groups of people together, he is allowed to say certain things that might not be 100% True.

00:43:29--> 00:44:18

To bring them together, that person who they really like you, you know, I think I think you're somebody who they really respect. For example, I'm just giving examples, right? Even though you don't know that, you're saying things that will bring them together. A man who says obviously, this means a person, right? A person who says something at the time of war. So during war time, you know, when I guess this is like a spy, right? Or some somebody who has to, basically, you know, keep secrets, right? During a war, or in that situation in a situation of war. Lying can be permitted, and a man talking to his wife or a woman talking to her husband. So, for example,

00:44:19--> 00:44:31

a man you know, saying his wife's asking him, you know, do I look nice, right, the typical situation, I look good in this. He can be diplomatic.

00:44:34--> 00:44:39

Or if she says, you know, do you love me? Or if he says that, don't break people's hearts,

00:44:41--> 00:44:59

who don't say negative things. You're allowed to exaggerate your few positive things, you know, in a marriage, for example, and there's this really lovely Hadith. Like a third narration that I found that a man came to Omar and

00:45:00--> 00:45:23

said, he said, Why are you divorcing your wife? Or asked her? Why are divorcing your wife? And he said, I don't love her anymore. And Omar said, Does every house need to be built upon feelings of love? What about responsibility? What about SubhanAllah? What about responsibility? What about chivalry? What about good, good character and treatment?

00:45:25--> 00:45:31

What about those things? Don't they mean anything? What about loyalty? He said, there's different versions of it.

00:45:33--> 00:45:33

But

00:45:35--> 00:45:46

Subhanallah since it's a different way of looking at things, right, to what the prevalent culture encourages us to think. challah time is up. So

00:45:47--> 00:45:53

if there's no questions, I'll mention one more narration that was similar to that one that I just said about

00:45:54--> 00:45:59

almost saying to the husband, there was a husband who came to me as well. He said,

00:46:00--> 00:46:02

You know, my,

00:46:03--> 00:46:11

he said, I, I think he said, Yeah, he said, I asked my wife to swear an oath to tell me the truth.

00:46:12--> 00:46:13

And then

00:46:16--> 00:46:19

she told me that she doesn't love me. Okay.

00:46:20--> 00:46:26

I asked her, do you love me? And she said, No, I don't. Okay. And then Omar called for the wife.

00:46:27--> 00:46:28

And when the wife came,

00:46:29--> 00:46:39

he said to her, did, did you tell your husband that you don't love him? She said, Yes. Because he made me swear and have made me like, swear that I would tell the truth.

00:46:41--> 00:46:46

And so, you know, was I supposed to lie? She said to amo, well, that's supposed to lie.

00:46:47--> 00:46:50

And Omar said, Yes. He said, Yes, he was supposed to lie.

00:46:51--> 00:46:56

And then he said, Look, or women, he said, if if your spouse asks you?

00:46:58--> 00:47:02

And you don't have to say, you don't have to

00:47:03--> 00:47:04

tell him that, you know.

00:47:07--> 00:47:19

He said, again, he said the same thing that he said to the other man, you know, what about responsibility? What about loyalty? It's not just about feelings of love.

00:47:20--> 00:47:22

And, you know, so when I was just thinking about that whole,

00:47:24--> 00:47:26

almost whole kind of philosophy regarding that,

00:47:27--> 00:47:29

as thinking, wow, you know, like,

00:47:31--> 00:47:43

one thing also we can take from that is, sometimes these types of feelings if we, if you only base things on feelings, the feelings go up and down, right? Feelings can change.

00:47:45--> 00:47:46

They can, right?

00:47:47--> 00:47:52

And so in a way they've kind of fickle and instead, what is enduring?

00:47:53--> 00:48:00

Is your character. What's enduring is what you built together, right? More than anything else, I mean,

00:48:02--> 00:48:07

and sometimes people can be in a rut, then they can come back. Right?

00:48:09--> 00:48:10

So

00:48:11--> 00:48:24

I thought that was very interesting advice of former non visitors saying this ratio needs to be repeated and emphasized houses need to be built on many things other than law. Of course, love is important. But

00:48:25--> 00:48:58

what do we mean by love? That's another question. Right? Do we just mean that high feeling that you have, you know, when you're first in love, that high, cannot last? Because it's impossible for the brain to be high all the time, you know, is literally impossible for the brain to be high all the time. So at some point, it has to become like a calm, sort of love view or like a stable, sustaining, right?

00:48:59--> 00:49:27

So, unfortunately, we have kind of been given the image of with Hollywood, Bollywood, Disney, whatever everything that people grow up with, is that a high in love state, as if that's where everything stays forever, right. And so, you know, people have an unrealistic understanding of that. We have to relearn. There's a really good chapter, by the way, before I leave,

00:49:28--> 00:49:37

in the recent book by Jordan Peterson, you know, Jordan Peterson, the psychologist, there's a chapter in his book Beyond order.

00:49:39--> 00:49:59

And you might think, Why is his sister Fatima telling us about a book by you know, like a self help book, right. But, you know, as Muslims, we should take hikma wisdom wherever we find it. And what I liked about this chapter in this book, beyond order, there's a chapter called I think it's worked diligently to maintain

00:50:00--> 00:50:12

In the romance in your relationship, what I really liked about that chapter is very relevant to our times know how in a marriage, you've actually got to work hard to maintain

00:50:14--> 00:50:14

that love.

00:50:16--> 00:50:33

And it's a really good chapter I think, especially for people who, like Muslims who want to be married for life or, you know, obviously want to keep families together, etc. We should, we should benefit from things like that. Anyway, Inshallah, I'm going to leave you now.

00:50:34--> 00:50:35

Just come along Farren.

00:50:36--> 00:50:41

Could you repeat the chapter name, beyond order, if you look up beyond order.

00:50:44--> 00:50:47

Chapter, it's

00:50:48--> 00:50:49

romant.

00:50:52--> 00:51:39

Work hard it's work to maintain. I think it's work to maintain the romance in your life, the romance in your relationship. Anyway, you can't find it online. Really, unless you look at these book summaries on YouTube. The main way you can get it is by actually getting the book just coming out here and sisters into until next time, and shallow probably going to have a few more than will be, you'll have completed the 70 major since I'm in the last session. I would like to know from you like what would you like in the last session once we've completed? Like, I feel like I'm trying to think like, what's a good way to like a finale for the, for the final session, you know, when we get to

00:51:40--> 00:51:42

major sin number 70.

00:51:45--> 00:51:51

Maybe I should make these slides available to everyone? Is that what everyone would like?

00:51:54--> 00:52:17

or something else, if there's something else, please give the suggestion into us. I'll put my email address contact at Fatima capitola.com. Or you can always email menar okay, but just let me know like, because obviously, we can't do a summary of the 70 it's too much, right.

00:52:19--> 00:52:27

But maybe you can share, it will be lovely to actually hear from you. Like, if you could share, like your thoughts, any observations you've had any.

00:52:29--> 00:52:52

If these major sins or knowing about these major sins has changed you in any way, it will be lovely to be able to read some comments and testimonials from you about whether knowing this knowledge has helped you in any way or benefited you in any way. You know, it'd be nice in the final session to read some of those in Sharla

00:52:53--> 00:53:02

wish we could like be all together in person could like have an A no party or something. Have a cake or something just to kind of mark the fact that we've

00:53:04--> 00:53:08

hamdulillah gone through these 70 major sins.

00:53:10--> 00:53:17

Yeah, we could have a discussion we could open the microphones actually. No, I can discuss it with

00:53:18--> 00:53:24

system Bushra and shall at some point. But yeah, we should do something in the final session. I feel like

00:53:26--> 00:53:47

to mark the end of this. We haven't been able to go into each of the scenes in so much detail. Like for every scene he narrated so many things, right. But what I my aim with this was for everyone to be aware of every major sin and what it means at least a basic level, you know,

00:53:49--> 00:53:53

definition level and then at the level of like, being able to avoid it.

00:53:55--> 00:53:56

Being able to recognize it, right.

00:53:57--> 00:54:00

So, just come along with her and

00:54:01--> 00:54:07

yeah, we could do like a session at the end and not recorded. Just

00:54:08--> 00:54:15

we could have tea together or something. I feel like we should do something social as well. Okay, it's just

00:54:16--> 00:54:32

Zach gonna love hearing Subhanak Allahu mobie handig shadow Allah Illa illa Anta esta Furukawa to be like, A salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Make dua for me and I pray that Las Panatela mix your

00:54:33--> 00:54:46

day, your week, your life, your family life, peaceful and bless it and takes away your hardships and any struggles and any tests that you're going through.

00:54:48--> 00:54:50

Don't end this house.

00:54:51--> 00:54:53

You want more than 70 major sins to avoid

00:54:54--> 00:54:55

a low

00:54:56--> 00:54:59

70s enough for now.

00:55:01--> 00:55:08

So don't worry we're not at the end yet okay still got a few to go okay so now I'm really cool