The Misyaar marriage – Permissible or not?
Channel: Faaik Gamieldien
File Size: 33.69MB
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hammerite beloved brothers and sisters in Islam As salam o aleikum, wa Rahmatullah Huhtala.
Today, inshallah we're going to deal with a marriage called the Messianic marriage.
It's a type of marriage, it's
not been around for very long, probably, since the early 90s. It's been around.
But before I go there, I would like to put marriage into perspective. How does the Quran regard marriage? And how does the Quran refer to marriage and to women in intercourse or
before we venture into the marriage,
called the VCR.
So the first verse I want to quote
about the marriage contract, because we know marriage is a contract. It's not a sacrament, as in the Catholic Church, it is it's a contract between two people.
And a contract is a written thing and needs to be signed by both parties. And they should agree on the terms and conditions of the marriage in which they're going to enter into.
How does Allah Allah refer to this contract? Allows foreigner talks about it in Surah Nisa,
which is surah and women before surah in the Quran, in verse 21, allows father as is, what the mean cometh alcoholic.
And Allah talks about the ladies in Allah talks about the contract which you had made with your future wife, how does Allah refer to this contract, Allah is why they refer to it as me thought leader, and you have taken from them a sacred oath, you have taken from them a sacred pledge, that pledge includes the pledge, to care for them,
to provide for them whatever they may need, to love them, to nurture them, to respect them. These are all the things that is
that is part of the contract of Islam,
contract of match. And we find, of course, that this is the living experience of the wives of the Prophet salallahu Salam, this is how the wives of the dubby SallAllahu sallam was treated, every surgeon said,
failure could fail early or anopheles babies and sallam said, the best of you are those who are best to the wives. And I hammered Salah Salem. I'm the best person to his wife's Subhanallah
so we see when it's called me thought on Alibaba, you can even hear the word how it sounds Alibaba. Alibaba mean sacred. It means
like taking a sworn oath on your life, that you have taken this wife
as your wife with a condition which allows harvests later.
The last word of the NABI SallAllahu Sallam before he died was a Nissa Nissa one Malacca a man who had to move on.
The amine Atilla was diallel. To true Johanna B. Kalama. Tila, the last words of the sandwich he uttered
the last word he was used, it was in his death throes that he uttered these words What did he say? He said, and Nissa Nissa.
Fear Allah as far as a woman is concerned, your women your women, twice repeating, I had to go on the amanatullah you have taken them as in Amanda from Allah, as a trust from Allah. What is a trust? A trust is something which is given to you for a time you have to look after it and then it goes back to our last partner time or to the person who belongs to your wife belongs to Allah subhanaw taala so it goes back to Allah was Hannah who
was the Hillel tomb for Raja Hoonah because Liberty Allah and Allah subhanaw taala made halal for you, as I might have them for you. With the words of Allah was hypertonic our bill Tunica AHA in FCB dyadic a bill to I've accepted
this marriage this Nikka this act
Linhof See, I've accepted it to myself dyadic for the murderer, and whatever else I had promised to him as a husband.
So, that is the context in which marriage takes place. And we thought could not leave a sacred trust.
The words of Allah is used. We read the football in the football ayat of the Quran
and so forth and so on. Then we go to Surah to room. So to room is the 50th Surah of the Quran. And there are three very important verses in the Surah verse 21, verse 22, and verse 23, the waterbird verse 21, verse 22, and 23. Even these verses are not just verses they are yet Allah is one that refers to these three verses are yet and we know we read the ayat of the Quran.
What is an iron?
is a sign.
Allah refers to the words of the Quran is and the end of the verses end of the verses and the words of the Quran is what signs
Why do you look older times? What is the sign? Why don't you call it sentences or words, the words of the Quran, the sentences of Allah calls it area to the
in our language, we understand what I what does it mean, it means a sign, it means a sign or to something bigger than the site.
For example, if you drive up
up to the cable car to go up Table Mountain.
Sign will say cablecar
or the sign will say Table Mountain. But the sign only says Table Mountain. But what is referred to as a mountain taxable sign refers to a mountain, which says if the sign says New York says to a massive city, if the scientists Cape Town, or Port Elizabeth or
or considering the town
or you sit in the aeroplane the science of novelty landing Rome, or Paris, whoever it is, small sign for something big. So the science of Allah always refers to something big. That's why Allah uses the word assign.
The first verse of Sir to room is verse 21. We're going to we're going to concentrate now for a while on 2122 and 23. And of course, I always ask my students, when the lecture is done, go to Sura room, it should take you five minutes so that the room the 30, so I don't have to search. Look for in Surah 30. And go to verse with your, what does verse 21 Verse 121, says, I'm not going to quote the full verse absolutely quit the beginning of the verse, the important part of the verse, the sign that in the verse,
woman, yeah, te and halacha komentar.
Allah Subhana Allah speaks in verse 21. Is or to room about the creation of men.
Isn't this one of the biggest signs of the greatness of Allah Subhan Allah Allah, Allah talks about what what will we create it from Allah says, Allah Akbar signs at ease that I created you from what to rob from dust.
So we go from ashes to ashes and from dust to dust, ashes to ashes, from from dust to dust, come from W made from dust. And we go back to dust and when we are resurrected again, in flesh as human beings
this idea but this AI cannot be seen
in isolation, it just says, obvious signs is that he created you from last class for this, look at the next verse.
Very famous verse always quoted in lectures on very technical methods over the time. We've been Yachty and Hala caller come in and fusi come as virgin liters, canoe, Ilya.
Allah, so I'm gonna say this. So what's the first verse about creation of men from just the creation of all of them from does from Adam until the last May? Allah so I'm talking about the creation of billions upon billions upon billions of human beings. That's the first verse creation of
signposts to all of humanity.
That Allah says women are Yachty and halacha con men and physical as well as and the Tuscany. Allah says, and all the signs
Is that created for you? From yourselves as virgin? Wives, mates companions?
So what Allah said the second is, what is the second sign? What's the first time creation of all humanity? Creation of all of humanity? What is the second time creation of goo creation of what Krishna who
mean unphysical as verger Allah and says, I offer signs is that I created for you Oh, men, oh man I've created for you from yourselves as you know it's great from the rib of Adam Malissa salah.
For what reason? What is the reason Allah gifts? Why why do we get married? What is the purpose of marriage? What should we what should we look for in a partner when we want to get married? Does she have these qualities as a wife? What are the qualities or the benefits?
First qualities latest canoe elaida
you marry a wife to find peace and tranquility in
first, what does it mean find peace and tranquility. When you are worried about something? When you're upset about something. When you are wanting to talk to somebody about something, you would want to first go to your wife and share it with her.
Because Allah created for that purpose.
When the Prophet SAW Selim came down from the mountain with these first few verses, that Allah revealed, built and ready to go first.
He went straight to Khadija. What did you ask her? Zen bologna? completely cold? put a blanket over me like you would say when you have the flu. You lie on the bed Newsom Oh please, please put a blanket over me I'm feeling cold.
That's a person you cold. So Allah has found the losses
as well gently test Scootaloo Eliza so that you may find in her peace and tranquility.
So you must look for the signs before you get married.
Well gyla been condemned Allah, Allah subhanaw taala talks about both of you. And when Allah Subhan Allah talks about husband and wife Allah talks about what he has given to you as a present as a gift for your marriage.
Subhanallah so the first thing is what you get for what you look for, and what you get. And that is the 10 quality from her.
She soft he sweet he listens to easily said Your tears he's soft spoken and so forth and so on.
In unless he said I've given you two things
you're not married to I've given you when you get married to I'll give you two things. Whatever two things Allah gives
what John Boehner Kuma what that Anwar, Allah says, I put with you new so this comes, if the marriage is done properly, in terms of the Sharia, then the back of Allah what is the bedrock of Allah which first descends upon your hope upon your room? Two things. Allah puts love.
And Allah puts mercy.
She loves you. And you love her. It's a feeling can't explain it. You want to be with her and she wants to be with you. That is love. And what is Mercy? Mercy is protection. Mercy is to always feel sorry for each other, or shame. Don't worry, don't cry, don't worry, insha Allah, Allah will take us through this. So remember the love and the magic comes from home from Allah was pioneer.
In the field, Erica at the Kobe Jatropha Quran, Allah Subhan Allah says,
These are Signs for those who contemplate these are Signs for those who look at the reading
from beginning to end, you know, marriage takes a long time some people have and 50 years some people are married 60 years. And you got it goes in stages. First you're overtaken by love
overtaken by law,
and as the time goes on, you're overtaken by mercy. You see her giving birth you see you're looking after your children's you're making food you see you're getting sick, what does Allah put in your heart, because the love is still there. But now the overwhelming feeling and emotion that you have towards the IS is looked after. And the object life is I must look after my husband. That thing about love and honeymoon in detail dot children are big or grandchildren. Now the Mercy comes in the love is displaced by miss
the third one the 23rd If
so, first it was about the creation of bed. The second is the creation of Wu Hala, Calico and Fujichrome as well as and I created from you what you will create from us your wives
Great from New York. So first Allah created the whole of you know all of humanity. And in the middle I Allah says I created for you your wives.
And what is the last verse these three verses is a composite three.
Well, I mean, yeah it Hanako sama Allah,
Allah so I'm going to see is in the third verse and obvious sign.
What is obvious, I create for you your wives. When Allah says, of my scientists, I create the heavens.
So between the creation of men, and the creation of the heavens and the earth, Allah in the middle patois of your wife
is important, is a mother important, is a wife important. It has the greatest importance. It is slotted in between the creation of men and the creation of the heavens.
that is why for children, where does the agenda lay the feet of the Father with Adi, what's it like to only set the feet of the man mother who is comes first? The man came to ask Allah so Allah and whoo, yah rasool Allah should be the man should be my first companion, who should I be with most of my lifetime? Who should I go with most of my most of my time, and the Prophet said, or mark on nakoma, three times Prophet said, your mother, your mother, your man, and the last time you see your father.
All right. Now with that background, I want to tell you what this new
marriage is all about.
It's called Miss er, Miss er, it is not an Arabic word. This is a bed one word Bedouins in,
on the outskirts of Riyadh. This is the language they use. And it basically means somebody who's in a hurry, somebody who walks continuously doesn't stop. He walks around continuously. They call it miss er, or he travels a lot. I call that misiak.
Strain strange, very strange word for a marriage, isn't it? Somebody walks around marriage, or somebody who walks around marriage as somebody who travels married as somebody who's devastation that he'd married because what it's called.
And this marriage
was first came about in Saudi Arabia. So this is a new marriage, probably maybe in the beginning 60s or middle 60s.
It wasn't very prolific in the beginning, but it has now grown
to quite something in the Muslim world,
all the Arab countries and some of the Allama has given them permission for it. Others have not given the permission for it.
Most of the Allama has said it is it is a halal marriage. But Allah lecturer who Simon
initially said it is a permissible marriage. But then later he came to say then No, no, it is not permissible. When he saw the result of the marriages, it is not permissible. And so people like Bernie, people call him Al Bernie chadburn, you know, his name is Chef, Al Al Bernie, shareholder at Bernie
Albinoni start with Al and Al all sorts of out so people can use this. So it's he's a he was great. Of course, the Salafi is doing very well. Is Greg Muhaddith.
Amongst other things, and brought back the, the pure Sunnah of the NABI sallallahu alayhi salatu salam. So he also says no, can't accept this type of marriage. What is the status of
Saudi Arabia as we know,
But all my life a new does a very conservative society.
Men and we were Stickley apart.
There was no mixing of been on any level at all. In fact, so much so that women had to be covered when they were outside their homes.
And there were special police who police this kind of thing.
But since the 60s, maybe 1919,
not the 1960s 1990s, early 1960s. They started in the 1990s, about 25 years old.
This married so to new marriage. I'm not gonna say it's a bitter with an innovation, just a new marriage. So this marriage consists of a holy
father to what this is
and that is a requirement for any valid marriage. For a marriage to be valid. There must be a father.
There must be a bond and they must be
I have a wife, the other things are all negotiable for dowry, so forth and so on. There are many rights of the wife that she that she forgoes in this kind of marriage. So what is what is this marriage?
It is a marriage where
the men cannot afford to get married.
For, for, for, for a first time person who was looking for a wife for the first time. So, he is looking for a wife, but he can't afford.
The marriage is very expensive in the Arab world, he can't afford that kind of money. But I know for a fact that the state, the Saudi state helps young people to get married. But apart from that fact, so we can't afford it. You can't afford to give her a flat or a house. You can't even afford to give her the dowry that you want.
And so forth and so on.
And she the woman is also the point in her life who maybe over 40 Shouldn't be can't get a husband. She's also in a situation where she needs somebody she wants somebody in their life.
If it's the first time marriage for the husband sought an issue.
That would be like a normal marriage except that the wife will say okay, I I'm a I'm a I'm a gynecologist, or I'm a doctor, don't worry, I will look after us
or give you a minimal amount of dowry that you should, you should pay. The father agrees. And then he stays with her. And she provides everything for you.
She's not normally often age, normally she's of an age.
Now that marry our marriage, Missy Our marriage
That is a mirror. But that is the small amount of marriages are done VCR marriages, when the husband has not been married before he is a young man. Normally in that case,
he would want to marry young woman or you want to have any car you want to have a marriage when you celebrate the marriage. So most of the car marriages takes place for men who are already married.
They're already married, but they feel they have need for another wife. But they don't want the first wife and their family to know that he is going to get married again. So uses this meal, VCR marriage. There are Facebook sites where you can find them. And they're also
matchmakers in Saudi Arabia and other Arab countries. The numbers don't to everybody in those countries. So you found the matchmaker and the matchmaker, find somebody for you, the matchmaker advertises and you come along, and you answer the ad and you pay. Some people doubt they say it's got 5000 results, to engage the seven matchmaker to find a way for you. So now what happens?
requirement that this husband has was already married, it doesn't want his wife to know that he is taking the second wife, for many reasons.
I think he's already abusing her number one. Number two is he doesn't want her to know that he's got a second one because she's going to now get very angry at him and so forth and so on. And he feels that he needs something more than his wife.
So the father of the blue of this bride also says, well, it looks like a good man.
Bring two witnesses, a little bit of dowry.
And what is the agreement, the agreement is that she looks after herself. He doesn't have to nataka This is the mission marriage. So marriage is she forgoes her rights. First, right is the right of nataka. She says to him, don't worry, I earn money. I'm a, I'm a professional woman. This is now when there are so many professional women in the Arab world. And men don't want to marry a professional woman, and have been done to marry a professional woman. They just want to marry an ordinary housewife. So lots of these professional women don't have husbands. So men take advantage of this.
no, in Africa, he doesn't have to provide
a roof over the heads. He doesn't have to provide anything.
And they decide that he's no, he's not going to sleep out of his bed of his first wife.
He agrees with her and she agrees that he will never sleep at night with her at her house. You will come there during the day, if he wants to meet with
somebody wrote a master's thesis on these types of marriages in Saudi Arabia and found that these marriages lasts for between 15 days and 60 days, average 15 days and 60 days. Why?
Because this man who's already married
is looking only for something more to stimulate these days.
is is that's all it is. It's only, and if he gets
it tight over whatever time it takes one week, two weeks, four weeks, all he says to her, I divorced you.
She has nothing to go back home.
There's no agreement. There's no, there's no written contract.
And so this is developed into men having one VCR marriage and then another VCR marriage your wife didn't know about it. Three VCR measures that was a wife Turner's about 567. And some of the women also it becomes so rife in the Arab world, particularly in Saudi Arabia, that the women have caught on. And some women bad women now have 1234 Miss er marriages going on at the same time.
Because the first husband doesn't know about the second husband doesn't know about the third husband does the work for the husband, because she stays in a flat, the first husband comes on a Monday, the second husband comes on the Tuesday, and so forth, and so on. So these are the things that's taking place in Saudi Arabia, and they have infected the rest of the Arab world with this kind of marriage. And if there are children from this marriage, the husband is not responsible for those children. Yes, they carry sinning.
But he does not can is not obliged to carry sponsibility for any of their needs. So we can just walk away. You know, Adams on men are in general, they love just to walk away.
They love to say, well,
you know, the managing workout so you know, you have to constrained by your mother, I'm not working now your mother's in as a professional when you know, she, she earns a lot of money, even more money than me, I've been in cases in the High Court where wife comes in the husband comes and says, I don't have I'm unemployed.
And we've just gone through a divorce, I want her to support me while I find a job.
And in terms of the laws of South Africa, he is entitled to do that. And vice versa, if she didn't have a job, and he had a job, and he would have to support her until she finds a job.
So what is the result of this made me cry,
the result of this VCR and marriages, it also comes about where
the husband travels a lot.
And because he's going to work for children at home, he can't take his wife with him. And he wants to take a woman with you as a company for him. So it just varies a woman for this purpose.
No strings attached by teacher no strings attached. We just get married. No dowry, no accommodation, no support she looks after. So he goes off where we go babies, a pilot maybes whatever, whatever he is, and you know, and a men travel a lot during the Arab summers, they want to go to Paris, I want to go to New York, I want to go to London, all these places. So what is happening? What is happening is there's a whole this whole exploitation of
hotel exploitation Karnala and what has now come about East that
what has happened,
what is now infected
in the real sense, infected
Arab society, particularly Saudi society, the spread of
sexually transmitted diseases
Hepatitis hepatitis I think, what a doctor was thinking about so many other illnesses to do with private parts of the woman, woman and a man
and tragic part of us have fantasies that if the bones already married, then he carries those
transmittable diseases to his wife, always other woman that is also married to buy the car. Maybe he's got four VCR when it goes from one to the other one.
yes, in the beginning, the Allah ma even been battered, also
sanctioned this marriage.
This misalignment, it wasn't in the beginning when we used to live just a fatwa that was given and he said it's fine in terms of the of the regular requirements of a marriage, the basic requirements of a marriage to Halal marriage, two witnesses, the one is a Father's Day and
and maybe a small Mother's Day. That's it. All the others are rights that can be
and say, Well, I forgive I gotta forgive this right and give that right and so forth.
So this has been the end result of all of this. Why? Because we
have left the Quran and we've put in the place of the Quran, the desires of men and women. Stuffing is exactly what it is. I mean, if this marriage was allowed, this marriage would have been allowed in the time of the NABI SallAllahu sallam, Ali salatu salam.
But let's take quality with the promises later on. Was it a man cannot get married is haram in Islam for a man to get married? If he cannot afford a wife, haram?
How can you manage
I'll give him income and I will say to the wife,
goodness, as your as your father is here, I cannot support you. When the prophets are subject you can't afford the Tarot, somebody leaves you know, there's something wrong with you. And you cannot
fulfill the the physical side of the marriage haram for you to get married. Thirdly, we have a communicable disease like HIV haram to get married. There's so many conditions under which it is not allowed to get married.
The most important one being the absence of nataka.
Whatever nobody saw said, I'm saying to young people when they can't get married,
when they don't, when they don't have the wherewithal, the finances to get married, when maybe so sometimes, you know, Hadith, they should fast.
For profit, some didn't say, I'll find a rich woman, and she can support you know, which is easy to do. If you're a handsome man, but you got no money, no profit, you know, if you can't afford your wife, you will not allowed haram for you to get married. So I cannot understand how some of the scholars in that part of the world had put their stamp on this. Because and I will ask the question, of course the white shirt. Are you talking about this now? Because I have come across my first case in Cape Town of a man wanted to get married
the VCR way?
And I thought about it. So what what can I say to this man, brother? My advice to you please is not to do this. Do not do this to yourself. And do not dishonor the woman by doing this. You and I know why you're getting married to her. There was also another Muslim woman who's a non Muslim woman with children. I said to him, you know why you're doing this? You're not going to you're still going to be with your first wife every night. And you're not just using this woman during lunchtime or wherever, whatever time now. This is not a marriage. That's the ordering.
A mother. I was fit channelized. No, I begged and pleaded for him. Please. I regard this as haram haram haram. Haram haram haram because Prophet said,
God, we can't afford you can't afford
can't afford what have you already got one word.
If you can afford a second one, and afford a third, and
the footwork, of course, then it is enough for you.
Alright, so I just wanted to put the photo in restrictive. And I feel that now. If this should take off, our women are going to suffer a lot. I'm just thinking about the
diseases that they can pass on to the wives. And those diseases are passed on to the children.
Have you noticed how many children are born with illnesses? Have you noticed I've been children are born with mental illnesses, children at four years old must go to a whatever kind of person. There's so many people with so many new professions that have to look at these children. And they'd sometimes overactive and under active them. So many things happened to these children. And when asked why?
Why when I was a child, there was none of these around because of these transmittable diseases HIV is being transmitted.
these are just one of the evils I think it is really I think that is that is happening in our society. So please warn your daughter's and warn your sons. If you want to get married to a second wife, you get married to a second wife. You have to convince your first wife do not do this. Because this is an irreversible thing that you won't be able to stop in yourself. Because your first miss your marriage goes well just go there on a Tuesday afternoon, Saturday afternoon. When your wife goes to a mother. That's how you have this friendship. You see it yourself look at more time now can take a second we cry. What a third one and the fourth one stuffed and what do you do them for? You
use them for sexual exploitation. That's all it is. Nothing. And marriage is not that marriage is what to find in our love, makeup and new love in a marriage like how can we be you know using a
You just using a sexually that's so how can we be love?
How can we protect quality?
So this is the kind of world in which we live. And we know, of course, that
we also have
a Shia community in our midst.
And it is no secret
that Sunni families have become Shia.
And it's no secret
that the young girls in this marriage, because the father is no shear the whole family is here.
So the shear propagates the idea of a
motor marriage, what is a good marriage? And what marriage is a marriage for a time written down on a piece of paper or a time agreed upon by the parties.
So what is a good marriage? It is a marriage way The couple says we want to get married early, but we only want to get married for three months.
When the three months is up, the marriage ends automatically.
Right ends automatically. And the other thing with the sheer marriage Joan, you don't need
the worry. You don't need witnesses or loss.
Don't need witnesses in a sham marriage witness is not a requirement.
But witnesses in the Shia militia.