Channel: Edris Khamissa
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In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful, the Lord of all the worlds to whom we belong. To whom is our return and made choices blessings, go to the highest of Allah creation, our beloved Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the most generous in companionship. The most gentle speech Indeed, the most eloquent ambassador to humanity at large, as salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
As a speaker,
I'm acutely aware of one very important thing
that many of us, including myself,
have listened to many, many talks in the past.
But the real crucible or acid test is how much we have heard, we have implemented. That's the bottom line.
Imam ghazali speaks about five steps in learning.
He says The first step is, of course, silence is like almost psychologically preparing yourself for the talk, you are your focus, then you listen.
Then you memorize your practice, then you teach it to others. And the Sahaba whenever they learned anything from the mobile Eclipse or Nabi, sallAllahu, wasallam.
They were restless, you know, they internalize the knowledge. And the they thought it to others. So the best way of learning is
to internalize it, and teach it to others. Now, I chose this particular topic, because, you know, Ramadan comes, and it goes, I mean, and we think of those loved ones that were here last year, and they're not here today. And I want you to understand that the fragility of life.
Life is very, very fragile. It's very, very frail.
And I've come to this conclusion, not based on any empirical evidence, as it were. And I've traveled many, many parts of the world.
Our homes have become very sad places,
is supposed to be the happiest place with these an affirmation acknowledgement laughter.
And in the month of Ramadan, especially forgiveness, which is such a critical factor,
family members would make mistakes.
And ally is gofal Rahim. And one of the things that I say
is, is it not ironical? That we are going to search for the night of power,
and we want to seek Allah's forgiveness, we could beg him for Allah's forgiveness, yet
they someone that you ought to forgive, you don't want to forgive is your compassion is a very important thing.
You see, they say, you can be either a person of success or a person of significance.
A person of success in the way success is defined, is a person that enjoys the material benefits. When you say to someone, x person is successful, then in your mind, you have an image of him having a nice home, a nice car, and so on and so forth.
But how does Islam define success, and therefore I say, we must be people not of success, but of significance. The people of significance are those individuals who impact on the hearts and minds of people, and especially your family, and especially your family. The real test is not what society is going to say about you. The real test is what your family is going to say about you. You know, I jokingly tell everyone, and hamdulillah I'm blessed with a lot of people that I love throughout the world, including Malaysia Alhamdulillah. And I say to everyone, I do not mind if the rest of the world stops talking to me. But I want to be in a happy home. So the source speaking about success
and significance and it's very, very important.
With our families,
that we connect with them physically, in other words, holding them, embracing them. That's a way of Nabi sallallahu, wasallam. Also, it's about connecting with them emotionally. Sometimes what happens now own homes, we do not connect emotionally to our own children, our spouses, for example. And I'd always recommend that you show that expression of love to your spouse, front of the children. In that way, you're promoting the institution of marriage. And there are lots of people who grew up in homes, where they never seen that expression of that love. And it has a profound whenever I deal with, in many cases, people that are going through medical issues, and ask them tell me from the
home that you were you grew up in? What kind of home was it?
And many of them would say, you know, what, my mom and dad,
they never showed that expression of that love. And these often get into conflict, and so on and so forth. So the child growing up, would think that's a norm as it were. So it's very, very important that we make the home into a sanctuary into a safe place. Now, it does not mean for example, that you and the wife
must agree on everything. We are very boring marriage. Right? very boring. Right? You can disagree as long as you're not disagreeable.
And a funny thing happened today.
I was looking at Google, Google. And I put the topic what
what to happy families have in common? And others blessing my article.
I forgot I wrote that up.
So are we ready for my article? You don't mind You know? So I feel I feel
a satellite so merciful, right. So an hour to share with that I want to share with you practical things. So my suggestion is this and rarely, rarely. I you know, I plead with people. I plead with people to understand, Allah knows we are human, we can make mistakes. The wife will make mistakes, the husband will make mistakes. Children make mistakes, this part of it. And it saddens me even in the month of Ramadan, because I help people with medical issues back in South Africa. And wherever else. People phoned me up, they say I had enough phone to leave my husband or my wife, I see the month of Ramadan and opportunity you've got to heal to connect with people, right. And I also you
know, have come to the conclusion that if we do things islamically in terms of separation, what not to be very few marriages that will break off. Right, very few. So anyway, so what is important is this, that
when you speak to people, much later in life, and I shared the story and often shared this, statistically, our sisters outlive us. I jokingly say they give us so much of heartache, we die before they wreck. Right. So and but in my father mother's case, my mother passed away before my Father, may Allah grant all of parents the highest status in Ghana. And so I went home to my hometown pushups in, in South Africa. And I was talking to my father in the bedroom. I say, Daddy, I said, Tim, you and I did not know. Allah gave us an angel on top you but my mother and my father put his head down. He said, What can I do my beloved Son, I cannot turn back the clock.