Channel: Edris Khamissa
Need for Change
© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.
Welcome to the series on personal empowerment where the emphasis is on moving from where you are to where you want to be. In this day and age, many people face tremendous challenges in dealing with life itself. There is almost a kind of paralysis that is prevalent in society. Idris camisa, and Shaq. saddler respond to these challenges in a practical manner by offering real solutions. They explore the underlying reasons why many people lack the confidence and the resolve to move from where they are to where they could be. In this series, we shall discuss the following major themes, the need for change, decision making and overcoming procrastination toward higher self esteem. And
finally, a discussion on resolutions for meaningful living.
I'm going to give you a brief introduction to our presenters. Brother Idris camisa, is an international consultant in Education and Human Development. He began his career as a teacher of English. His passion and expertise for the subject culminated in his nomination as the chairman of the English Society of South Africa. He embraced the Muslim school movement in 1987. And since he has been a head teacher of three schools, he has conducted numerous workshops in Australia, the United States, Canada, England, the Middle East, Nigeria, Lusaka and throughout South Africa. His expertise is in in staff development, and curriculum design. His creativity made him a dynamic
lecturer in didactics, and methodology at epsa, which is the International Peace University of South Africa. He also conducts in service training for business corporations. As a parenting expert and a marriage counselor. he conducts workshops on these topics. Youth Leadership is another area of his focus. He's a regular guest on National and Community Radio stations.
The next guest, Chef saddler Khan. He is an internationally renowned lecturer and motivational speaker, who has lectured for the Academy of Judaic Christian and Islamic Studies at UCLA and is the co founder of the Islamic College of Southern Africa, which is now the International Peace varsity of South Africa based in Cape Town. This is where He also served as head of Quranic studies. He has presented weekly radio program called understanding Islam on voice of the cape, and has co presented a weekly wise living television program in the United States of America entitled, from the streets of LA to the hearts of the world. He has presented papers at numerous Islamic and interfaith
conferences in Malaysia, Belgium, Nigeria, Egypt, United States of America, Iran, Botswana, Canada, Sierra Leone, Sri Lanka, Kuwait, Mexico, and Turkey. He is the director of empower development international and as a motivational speaker. He addresses issues of personal empowerment, youth development, leadership training, the art of communication, and is engaged in fostering interfaith and interfaith understanding and cooperation, as salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Brothers and sisters, it gives me tremendous pleasure to talk to you about a topic that has impacted on the oma and impacts on each one of us, our families, and generally humanity at large. And the topic is
about change. If you look at yourself, and ask yourself one simple question, did you do anything differently? The last few weeks, the last few months?
Why is it that many people are reluctant to change? Why is it people find change a difficult concept to understand? It is my view and it is also the legacy of Islam. It is those individuals who embrace change, who initiated change our people vision, who not only made a difference to their lives, the lives of many people. And indeed when we change, the whole world opens to you. And I know when I look at you, I see this kind of lingering sadness, a sadness we many
People often have a victim mentality. Yes, my brand sisters, I'm sure, when you listen to us today, you would say my gosh, I want to change, I will change because I have no doubt that in changing our not only have an impact on myself, but the oma at large.
It is I certainly want to change. But the problem arises is, I don't know what it means. So if you can please enlighten us. What is change? I often say shamima. The change is the only permanent thing in life. If you look around us, what do you find? The landscape is change these day, these night, our society has changed, the family structure has changed. institutions have changed. People come and they only lie. People come and some people talk to us. And what is critical, that change is something we need to embrace. As I said early on, if you do the same things the same way, expect the same results. It is important for us to understand that we need to do things differently.
A person might then say, Well, I'm comfortable the way I am checks the line it used to come in here please, why do we need to change?
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh I greet you the universal greeting of peace, may the peace the mercy and blessings of Allah be upon each and every one of you. It's a very pertinent question, why do we need to change, but this is mentioned that everything virtually changes except the countenance of a law which is permanent.
We talk about change is not purely change for change sake, but the idea of pursuing excellence of trying to improve ourselves, we are a work in progress. And that is why there are two primary choices in life. One, to accept the conditions as they are and the conditions are never perfect. And of course, our pursuit is not for perfection, but rather for excellence as I mentioned. So there are two primary choices in life except the conditions as they are or accept the responsibility for changing the situation or changing the self, for each individual for any society, any community, any family.
to step into the promising World of Tomorrow, we need to prepare ourselves to engage that reality today.
It must also be noted unfortunately, that too often our plans revolve around trying to change others or trying to change situations rather than changing or improving ourselves. It begins with the self. Everything begins with the self. And that is why you find in the Quran. Allah says in the law, you will you must be comin you must be unforeseen. Surely, Allah will not change the condition of any people, unless they change what is within themselves. So the need to change is fundamental to human progress. It is the path of pursuance of excellence, it is movement. There is a saying in the African tradition
that every morning somewhere in Africa,
a gazelle wakes up a nose, if it isn't outrun a lion, it will become a meal for the day it will be dead. And every morning somewhere in Africa, align wakes up and knows if it doesn't outrun a gazelle. It will starve on that day. So whether you're a gazelle or a lion, with a sunrise in Africa, you better be running. The idea is movement is not so much the idea of changing for change sake. But the idea of improvement of pursuing something better pursuing excellence. And life is an opportunity as an associate. Every moment of life you made a prayer Allahumma salli, ala hayata, Ziad, Elena, our law at every moment of life, be an opportunity for increased goodness. And that can
only come by movement by action by moving forward and that implies change in itself. Outrageous reinforce, shakes out what you have said, Indeed, life is not static. And many people for example, even the marital life, they say, you know what, I'm gonna change my husband, but the only person you can change is yourself. Change begins from within you. And also the other important thing that we need to bear in mind is that we need to understand that we have one life, we are unique creation of Allah, and we need to take ownership and you new spoke by change what I also want to add, for example, that when we talk about change, many people have different perceptions about change.
Basically, change also refers to our thoughts
what goes on in our mind,
our behaviors, and most importantly, our actions. And what you find essentially, that we are the products of our environment. And what we need to do is to understand who we are, understand why we behave in the way we do. Why is it for example, in the same situation, two people respond differently. Some person may be negative, some person is positive, another person is enraged, another person is calm, inevitably, it deals with the self, and also the past experience. And talking about that, I think it's very, very critical for us not to have a victim mentality is to say, Yes, I was born in that home, I went through this trauma, but it does not mean I got to repeat
that cycle, I have the power of reasoning, inshallah I can, with Allah blessing be the agent of change. So shift saddler. I'm going back to your comparison of the gazelle and the lion. In other words, you are saying that a person needs to activate him or herself? sounds difficult? If you can, please enlighten us? How do we do this? I think there are four components that basically four components to that. One is the question.
Each one needs to ask himself or herself. Where am I in life? And where am I heading too
many of us were on the wrong freeway, oh, we have a fantastic vehicle driving in the wrong direction.
So the ride may be nice, but you will reach a destination. So here the question is, ask yourself, where you are in life, and where you are heading to. And if you want to know your future, look at what you are doing today. Because what you are doing today is what you'll be becoming tomorrow.
To what I mentioned, the second point is that the question is the choice and the choice have made reference to that you either accept the conditions the way they are, or accept responsibility for changing yourself or the situation. Three, the realization is only when we realize that we have a limited time on earth. And that we have no way of knowing when our time is up. Time is a test life is a test. And time in the world in the life is an opportunity, what we do without time without life. So the realization that we are here temporarily that we have the birth and death and in between that test of life and
higher level test. What do we do with our time? Is our life purposeful? Are actions purposeful, intentional, are they meaningful.
And the need for us is to note that we need to work for this world. But through this world, there's also an accountability for the hereafter. This is part of a larger existence. So we need to focus I think at the end, the need to realize about the importance of where we are, where we are going to what we can do what we should be doing. And that we have a limited time. Because time is significant. It's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can keep it but you can spend it. And once it's gone, it never comes back. And we accountable for what we do. So question Where are we we are going to choice accept conditions the way they are, or accept responsibility for
changing them realize the limited the potential that you have. But also, we have a limited time in wish to achieve it. If we put these four in our in perspective, realize the need to activate the self to move on every day is an opportunity for something better. She Excel, I just want to
pick on one issue that you raise. I remember interacting with a friend of mine. And he says something to me that was quite profound. It's about time. And he said, you know what Greece Blissett is He Who at every moment of his life knows that he's a mortal being. I think sometimes you forget, sometimes in our exuberance we forget that we are going to die, that we are going to be asked about how we spend our time and bless it are those who are action driven, bless it are those who have a purpose and a vision. So your reference to time is very, very critical. Because life is fragile. Life is frail, you have no idea when we're gonna die, but most importantly, when we do die, we die
with the man shala this very, very potent point superabsorbent Idris In fact, the saying of the Prophet peace be upon him when he said last azula koderma Abdullah anomaly FEMA one dysmorphia, FEMA, FEMA. Well, I met him in a Nexus for FEMA and forgot one enemy FEMA. In other words, no person will be allowed to move on the Day of Judgment.
On the day of accountability, except after they've given a response on accountability for the following four things about your life and how you spent in the past it about your money, your wealth from where you acquired and what you did was it about your knowledge, how you benefited yourself and others with it, and your body, how you use it to abuse it, the idea of accountability is fundamental to Islam, the idea of response ability. Second thing is also we are mortals and that's why one of the companions of the Prophet said, you know, either I'm safe Ratan Tata resava
Ratan Tata. When you go to sleep, there's no guarantee you'll wake up in the morning. And when you wake up in the morning, there's no guarantee that you will see the sunset that he said home in sciatica, demonic or mean, hierarchically multi take from life or will benefit you in depth and take from your health will benefit you in illness. So every moment is precious. And every moment is an opportunity.
I know brother Idris and Chef Sutherland that change is necessary. Somebody listening is going to say, You know what? I know I need to change. I know it's important to change. But what is holding people back? And brother Idris. Here's my question to you please. Why are people reluctant to change? I think there are many reasons why people are reluctant to change. And amongst the many reasons, I'll cite a few for a discussion. I think the most important one for me is that people do not understand what change is all about that you understand it. Secondly, there is a sense of insecurity. The third one is we are all for example, creatures of routine. And we don't want to
ruffle that pattern. And in our routine, there is a sense of smugness and kind of complacency. The other one is which very, very important in I think, to me is one of the most important ones is the fear of failure, stroke making mistakes. And the other is a lack of self belief. And the other is the afraid people are afraid rather of the unknown. And the other point I need to add is also for example, I would regard this perhaps as a lack of ambition, stroke of purpose. And the one that I feel impacts many people, that many people sadly, I'm afraid to make decisions. Because once you change is firstly, you have decided to make the change. But after you make the change, you're going
to make several decisions that are going to impact on your life.
I want to come into the one point if I may say Mima regarding the fear of failure, the fear of making mistakes, you know, one was never made a mistake has never made anything. And when we make a mistake, I think we tend to look too long back at the mistakes.
Take the reasons the mistake into your mind and then look and then take it forward. Mistakes are lessons that could be lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. But the future is yet in our power. So setbacks, errors, what we call failure, mistakes, are all temporary products of creativity, of experiment that we're doing is part of experiential education.
And it's indispensable. It's a it's a primary prerequisite for success, which we learn valuable lessons from mistakes we make.
So mistakes or errors can be made can be a means of learning. The only problem is some people continue making the same mistakes over and over again. That is not acceptable. mistakes, if just completely repeated all the time, is no benefit at all. But it can be a means of experiential learning. If we learn from, for example, the saying of report Allah, Allah knows best about look, mother, Hakeem, they asked him, How did you become a wise man? He said, observe the foolishness of the foolish and avoided the foolishness. So he saw the mistakes of others and did not repeat it that was wise. so that it can be an experiential learning provided provided we learn from the errors we
Now Sure, I know we saying that people fear failure. And am I right in saying that that's one of the reasons that they don't want to change? You know, people will say, I'm very comfortable with the way I am I happy with the process that's going on in my life at the moment. So I don't want to fail. So I'd rather just keep it as status quo. So what I want to know from you, is it this fear that holds one back from actualizing his or her potential because you've got to now Give me a reason why I need to make a change because I'm saying I don't want to fail. What are the steps that are involved in me actualizing my potential
Very good question, of course, this
multi dimensional question you've asked them. But first of all, when a mistake occurs, we should ask, what was the mistake or the error? Why did it happen? How could it have been prevented? And most important, how can I avoid it? or How can I do better the next time. So, there are five steps I can I can suggest, you see, most people limit themselves. And therefore, as you have said, to achieve their full potential, in fact, many of us achieve less than even a fraction of what we could be of what we are capable of achieving, because we are afraid to try as these mentioned, we want to stay the way we are, or we are afraid, as you've mentioned in your question, afraid to fail, afraid
to try and afraid to fail. So, I I have five points that I think we could reflect upon. One is act decisively after due consideration. Don't just act. But
first analyze the situation as I mentioned, act decisively. But after due consideration, you see, the fear of failure can immobilize a person acting appropriately gives you the power to change the circumstance or to change the situation, your response ability, your ability to respond. This is this a motto of NASA, you know, national American space agency, does it, do it? Do it right, do it right now. In other words, act, act appropriately. And immediately. The second point, besides acting decisively and after due consideration is to persist. Successful people don't give up because nit winners never quit, and quitters. Rarely win. Confucius is reported to have said, our greatest glory
is not in never failing. But our glory lies in rising every time that before.
Thirdly, don't take failure personally. Successful people look at mistakes as outcomes or results, not as failure in itself. unsuccessful people look at mistakes as permanent, as personal failures. Failure is about behavior, outcomes and results, not personality characteristics.
You see, there's a there's a Sufi saying, one good deed does not make a person forever a saint, just like one bad slip does not make person forever a failure.
Just because you made a mistake, does not mean that you are a failure.
When you make a mistake, or get ridiculed or rejected, look at the mistake as a learning experience, not as a turndown of the performance. So one, excessively to persist. Three, don't take failure personally, for a commitment to improve is whether it is mentioned, fear of commitment, improve. If you are not getting the results you want, then you must do something different.
If what you're doing isn't working to something else.
There's an old African American saying, if you always do what you've always done, to keep on getting what you always got. So try to improve, move on five, failing is not a dead end. You're on the road to success. If we realize that setbacks or failures, so called only detours in our lives.
a bend in the road is not the end of the road, unless we fail to take the bend, take the bend and you will not be the end of the road. It may lead to the highway.
One definitely feels empowered now to one to change because you're saying to us shifts that sudden lead that
you can mustn't be afraid to fail, you make mistakes, and you learn from your mistakes. Brother, you just want to come back to here. You know, you gave us quite a few answers. When I asked you why are people reluctant to change and I just want to remind you of one or two. You said a person doesn't understand what change entails. They feel insecure that a person is a creature of habit. Fear of failure, chefs or dealers adequately covered hamdulillah lack of self belief and I want you to please give us a little bit more on the lack of self belief.
A person may say okay, I know now that me failing is is not a problem. I must learn from it. But I'm not too confident. How do I increase my belief in myself? I think many people forget that. They only have one life. And many people for example, look at themselves and they are very negative about themselves. They're always comparing themselves to other people. I wish I had his money. I wish I had this I wish I had that. I wished My father was different. I wish my schooling was different, but the critical aspects
Those who embrace change are those who take ownership of their life. And once you have self belief is very, very critical. Do not be afraid to make mistakes. In fact, there are people who say, you learn more from your mistakes and your failures than from your successes. And there's a lovely book written failing forward. It's very, very powerful tool. And the critical thing is this, it's about your life, you look at yourself, and you are going to ask yourself, whether in my present setup that I am, am I making a difference to myself? am I bringing joy to other people? What do I need to do? And how do I need to ensure that I have self belief? Of course, yes, those parents who are wonderful
parents, contribute to the self belief of the children, they enhance the self esteem of the children. Effective educators also show a sense of appreciation, understanding, they also contribute to that. So it starts off from you. It starts from looking at your own inner landscape. What kind of landscape is this? Is this an arid landscape, a bleak landscape, but a landscape that is bursting with growth and landscape that is positive, a landscape that reflects spring? A landscape that says, You know what, I can do it by takes off? And how do you do it? By taking a small step? It begins with changing your attitude. Because remember, in life, the only thing that we truly own is your
attitude. And once you embrace the positive attitude, I have no doubt it will impact on your self belief, it will give you the courage and you make the right kind of decisions. Of course, you'll continue to make mistakes, but why not? I think the point that is mentioned about positive attitude, this fundamental, positive attitude is absolutely essential for anything, and more specifically, to motivate change, overcoming setbacks, and of course, what we refer to as so called failures. You know, it was the inventor, Alexander Graham Bell, who said words to the effect, when one door closes, another door opens. But we so often look so long, and so regretfully, upon the closed door,
that we do not see the ones which are open for us. Never let a single defeat be considered as a final defeat.
When you look at Thomas Edison, in our report is different reports of the number of times he tried to develop the light bulb, some say on the 2000 attempt, he got it right, or 1200 to 10, whatever it was
reported to have said, I never failed once. It was a 2000 step process. So persistence is important as well. He says, I also know 101,999 ways not to make light bulb. You see failures, often more to do with attitude rather than outcome, or temporary outcome. If you don't have confidence, you will always find an excuse. Those who lack confidence are full of excuses. And excuses rarely lead to success.
I will look at the story of of Michael Jordan. He didn't make the school rugby basketball team.
Albert Einstein was a failure in school, he was not a very bright pupils in school, they didn't perform very well at least. He had Michael Jordan became one of the greatest basketball players in history. And Einstein, of course, one of the greatest scientists. But if you look at them where they were at that time, they wanted to be in the team to be within college. So the point is a positive attitude is fundamental. The one other thing I want to mention that we ask sometimes
lessons we can learn just from mistakes, learn from the mistake itself, but even looking at people making mistakes. It makes us confront our limitations. We have strengths, we have weaknesses, how do we use those strengths to overcome those weaknesses? And how do you use our opportunities in an effective way? This is fundamental for us. And I think a positive attitude is the only attitude to have. And in fact, in Islam, it is reported the Prophet said
that need to be pessimistic is part of bad character. So it's not part is an essential part is not a part of a true believer. be optimistic before looking, find ways of motivating yourself and move activate. effects. Check Sarah,
I was reminded about something that struck me about a toddler. Imagine if a toddler was trying to walk and the first time he falls he decides I'm never going to walk again. And he has no one to encourage him to walk is unlikely is going to walk. But children themselves are not afraid to make mistakes. Children themselves are not afraid to say things. They're very, very creative and they're very, very spontaneous. But some of the other
Because of our society and the kind of civilization we belong to, we tend to stigmatize mistakes. And it's very, very important for a person to understand that you are not living in this world to appease other people, you got a life you got your own life is from mimicking other people, find your true self, embrace the change. And once you do it, you find the whole world opens to you and opens to other people also. So we've gathered thus far, that change is necessary. And I think we've taken away some of the myths, some of the misconceptions, who then fits the profile as the person who embraces change the best. And I think that the reason I'm coming to you here with this question,
yes, I find that from my own experience, and I'm not too sure whether shake Sadler has also had this kind of experience, I find that people who embrace change, people who are forward looking people that are realistic, I find people that have a very healthy self esteem, they feel good about who they are, they want to make a contribution to society. And you find that such people, there are few people like this. But yet all of us can be like this, you don't need to be a rocket scientist, is not about having any kind of certification. It's a person, for example, who has not only a healthy self concept, who says, You know what, who thinks about himself, and he says, when he looks back at
the history of those individuals who made a fundamental difference will improve the quality of life. He says, My gosh, I can also do something like this. So many people see the word impossible, not as impossible, rather, as I am possible, that I also want to leave a historie I want to leave something behind. And such individuals do that. But those on the other side, who are reluctant to embrace change, our people, as we said early on, were negative, who are very, very pessimistic, who get bruised very easily. They need the egos to be massage, people who are not forward looking who feelings, feel a sense of insecurity, who have what I call a victim mentality. And remember this,
remember this, when you look at any person that is succeeding, and we need to spend some other time perhaps looking at the difference between success and significance. Those that have made a success of their life. If you look back at their life, they will tell you, they came at a time in their life when they felt so low, and they realize they cannot blame other people. They decided to take a quantum leap and they started off with their mind and saying you know what, instead of me being a moaner and groaner, I am going to go there and take incremental steps, small steps, and suddenly they took the small steps, the crawl a bit, suddenly they find, they became more confident, they
feel they're unleashing the potential, it's very, very important for us to study those characters, or to look at the example of love and abuse and allow yourself to look at the Sahaba. And we need to be inspired. And in fact, the difference is this. Those individuals who have succeeded and made a difference, are not spectators in their own life. In fact, I think many people have become spectators, who are passive and expects life to happen to them rather than doing something to their life.
So you're saying, then take the victim mentality and do the direct opposite, start taking the small steps, and find ways to improve yourself and improve your life. Not only that, I remember a friend of mine is to say, too much of analysis gives you paralysis, we spend so much time thinking about it. And we begin to is like a vicious circle must I must say not must I must say not what will they say? How would they react? And we go on like this. And as a result we find many people, when they look back at their life, they say, you know what, I tried to please other people, I did not assert myself how often for example, at a meeting and even at school shamima when a person who makes a
point in the end, it's a very creative point, and the headmaster or the director or somebody say my gosh, what a creative point. Then when you go to the car park William said, You know, I had the same point in mind, but you never said it. express it. And I always tell people, what is your opinion, what is your viewpoint on this? And the reason why we discussing this, as we said at the very beginning in my introduction, there are so many people if you look around them, suddenly you have seen it in America, as I see in other parts of the world. There is a kind of sadness. There is a kind of lingering sadness. You look at them, you feel sorry for them, and they you are you speak to
They have nothing good to say about anyone. You ask them. What about you? They also say, you know, what can I do? I've always been like this my hours in my father's favorite, I'm saying, remove that. And that is creating an obstacle that is suppressing you. It is stifling you, and you are living and walling in your own self pity. And what I'm saying to you, you're gonna regret it. But it's never too late, never too late for you to make a change and say, my gosh, I can't do it, I will do it. So once aim, inshallah should be to make some sort of change. And I think what the message that I've got from both of you is that don't fear failure, start with something small, so that you know that
you're moving forward. Otherwise, you're taking many, many steps backward. And that then comes to my next questions shift circular to you. Ultimately, there is should be this quest for change.
Is this quest for change, leading to? So ultimately, the quest for change is the quest for what?
There is an excellent question and the answer is excellence. The quest for change
is the pursuit of excellence. We are asked in Islam to pursue what we call taqwa whatever we do, fasting prayer, Allah Allah, in order that you may attain piety is not an end in itself, it is a process. So life itself
is a process. Change itself is a process.
And the more excellent the process, the more excellent the intention,
the more excellent the methodology, the greater the result, the x, the more excellent the result, I think,
we need to do what needs to be done.
We must do it as soon as we can do it,
and was doing as soon as possible. Do what needs to be done, as well as can be done as soon as it possibly can be done. And what is required is a change. We need to move from making excuses to providing ideas, from focusing on faults, to finding solutions, from blaming others, to analyzing ourselves, from focusing less on the shortcomings and inactivity of others, and attending to our own possible contribution from the limitations of others, to the potential of ourselves. from making the promises to fulfilling commitments from as Andrew said, letting things happen to making things happen.
from the shackles of the past, to the possibilities of the future.
It is to turn the negative life experiences into positive learning experiences. And this depends not so much on what has happened to you, but rather on what you do with what has happened to you.
The quest for change, therefore, as I mentioned, is a quest for excellence. And a quest for excellence is actually a willingness and a determination to maximize our potential. And each one is unique. Why are you nique no two people are like, no one can smile with mine. They can smile like me, you can sing like me look like me. But no one can smile with my my lips. No one can cry with my ideas. And no one can talk with my mouth. So we are unique individuals and allies honored us to be part of the best of creation.
We are actually the queen, don't undermine yourself. Turn negative life experiences into positive learning experiences. And realize that we are you know the profit in the luck. Allah coalition hours prescribed goodness and excellence in everything you do. And that is always motivation. Always inspirational. You can't change the past, but you can influence the future. And remember, Minister why yo ma hufa woman boon if two of your days are the same, then one day was wasted. Today she's better than yesterday. If today's like yesterday and tomorrow that today, what do you need the day after tomorrow? For every day The Prophet said minister, your mouth oma boon. If two days are the
same, every day is an opportunity. Take it as an opportunity that each of our days be better than the day before. And in every endeavor Lima trademark of our excellence, after all is a Quran says held is an illness and can the consequence of excellence be anything other than excellence? The quest for change is the quest for excellence.
Thank you very much for that very eloquent answer. Sure. Now, I want to make the best of today and I want to make tomorrow even better, as you've said.
In this regard after having given a lot of the theory, you know, we spoke about what is change why people are reluctant to change the person who fits the profile as the person who embraces change the base. So I think one is already getting an idea of where are we headed here? We saying yes, we all need to change. And I think everybody's comfortable with that. Here, brother, I want to ask you a scenario because it becomes a lot more alive when I take an example. And I'm just going to sort of recreate something here. We have a 25 year old young lady who's married for about three years, she has maybe inshallah a baby. She has a loving husband. But she's come to a stage in her life where
maybe we have come to what she just spoke about, where she's reached a stalemate, where today, tomorrow and the next day are the same, which means she is fearing change. It could be because she's a creature of habit. She could be insecure in her life. She could fear the unknown. She could lack self confidence. I want to know from you. In this example, where will a person start and give me Don't give me theory here. Give me the first day. I get up tomorrow morning. And what can I do? What's the first step to create this change?
Right? moolah for that shamima. I think it's important for us to translate this to the real life situation, because many people listening to the program will say my CAUTI is fine, you know, but it sounds so theoretical. What about me? What do I do, as I've always been mentioning, in many of my programs, and I've heard this from shake Sadler also, is that we need to look at ourselves in the mirror and confront our true selves. And part of that confrontation, it's important for us not only to be looking at the negative part to be overly hypercritical, but look at your strengths, because all of us have strengths, you cannot be so negative and think oh my gosh, I do not have any
strengths. You need to also look at your concerns, and confront each of those concerns. And ask yourself to what extent are these concerns impinging on my growth in my life as a wife or a husband, as part of a larger society, in the workplace, because what is critical remember, in life, the way we see the world depends largely on us. Some people see doom and gloom, others see happiness. And not only confront yourself, you need to also have a close friend, perhaps your husband, or someone, as we said, As believers are mirrors and to each other. Because it is so critical. Because when a brother or sister comes to you, they have a responsibility of also sharing with you, not only your
positive aspects, but perhaps an area of concern, which you might not be aware of, because it's one thing how you perceive yourself. It's also very critical how others perceive you. So the first thing is, confront your true self. Be honest with who you are. Look at yourself, strip yourself with all the embellishments and look at yourself, and then say my gosh, this is where am I? Yes. How do I move from here to the other place, and that's very, very critical. And remember, no one is going to move you no one. If you don't want to move, you have to make the decision. And once you make the conscious decision that I want to move, you need to take a quantum leap in your own mind. You got to
do that and change the interior landscape of your mind. Make sure it's a landscape that is filled with not only bleakness but fill as it were with spring, a sense of excitement, a sense of regeneration and what is important is this is what I always say is to have smart goals. Now my gosh, you listening to it smart goals, what are smart goals? Yes, the S stands for specific, the M for measurable, the A for attainable, they are for realistic, and the T for timeframe, once you develop the SMART goals, and then you need to have an action plan of how to attain these goals. And I want to just look at the T the timeframe. You must make a vague goal and vague promise and you got to
take yourself seriously enough and say I'm going to do it because life is so fragile. You don't know whether you can be it tomorrow, the power of now and I know Sheikh Salah you speak about the power of intentionality and you got to do it. No one can transform you without your permission. You got to take that leap. So
This is very, very critical. The other very important point that I want you to bear in mind is to write down notes. Very important. Once you write down certain things, it leaves an indelible impression. You look at yourself and ask yourself, why do I behave the way I do? Why is my attitude a negative? Why, for example, I do not want to embrace change, look back at your life, there might be some experiences that you had, there might have been negative experiences, perhaps you might have been humiliated in the public domain, perhaps the school life, you had a teacher who did not allow you to develop your true self. Now you can't sit back and look back at your life in the twilight
years of your life and start blaming people, no, you are an adult, you're an adult with knowledge, with skills with potential to succeed, why, and it takes just one moment, one moment of true reflection. And once you do that, inshallah, you see a difference. And I know this, for example, if you take one small step you find the other things are just opening the landscape is changing this excitement. And I want you to engage with people, people who have made a success in their life, I want you to look at even the life of the Prophet sallallahu earlier, submit, and look at the Sahaba you look at them, they have attained such high status, right? they attain such wonderful, you know,
positions in the eyes of Allah, and in the eyes of humanity at large, that we want to embrace them, the actions are so praiseworthy, we want to emulate them, but you look back at their life, they weigh in situations of such abject pity. And looking at the Sahaba is situations in which they were a source of anger, pain, but what not, they said, I want to make a difference. And I just want to share with you something, for example, United States of America, there are many people who embrace Islam in prisons, and when they realize the value of time, and apparently when they meet with people outside prison, they don't ask you a brother, how are you? How you doing today? they asked you a
brother, what are you doing for the cause? Suddenly, we find they realize the value of time, it's about us doing something that goes far beyond our personal selfish needs. So what I'm gonna say in that instance, for this young lady of 25, is to look at herself and tell herself How am I define you not only defined by the fact that you married to someone and certainly many people, you look at them as the Who are you? I'm Mrs. so and so? Yes, I know you Mrs. so and so. But who are you one of the best answers I've heard, I am nothing but a servant of Allah, you also part of the Almighty of Nabi sallallahu, wasallam. What is your contribution to humanity? What is your contribution not only to
your family, but to society at large, it is not a coincidence. For example, Bibi Asha Ayesha, the beloved wife of Beloved Prophet sallallahu wasallam, that she authenticated so many Hadees she confirmed the different actions of Nabi sallallahu, alayhi wasallam. So it's important for you to go far beyond your local self, far beyond your personal needs, and go on to higher and noble needs. The other critical thing is this, that she is not only a person that is a wife, a mother, but she's also a neighbor, what about the interaction of neighbors, she's also part of the society and also in terms of potential as a human being. She's got so many things to offer intellectually, what is she
doing psychologically? What are the thoughts in your mind are the negative thoughts because these your thoughts that shape you is your thoughts that either make you active or inactive, these are very important things. So we need to understand that we need to understand quite clearly that each one of us no matter what situation you are, that you need, not only to effect a change in yourself for yourself, but that change inshallah the beneficiaries will go far beyond your own family, but society at large. So personal empowerment definitely entails one making a change. I like what you just did, Idris you know, we spoke about all the theory and now you gave me the practical example
because one needs to know how is it going to help me so thank you for that. And I'm hoping inshallah, that that would contribute to somebody saying, hey, that applies to me, or I know somebody who is like that. And this is what I would like to see different shifts, suddenly, I'm coming back to now fuel.
What can be your parting words to us? You know, you told me a lot about those people that are reluctant to change the people that fear failure. I think that was mainly your point about people fear to change because they fear failure. So if you can give me your closing point
On the topic, please.
I think the important thing is to realize that change cannot come about unless there is a willingness to do so. And there will not be a willingness to do so unless we have
a purposeful intention to do so. And we cannot have it until we have attitudinal change, our attitude must change. And also realize that if everything else doesn't improve, at least we can improve. If I tried to change, it may impact the world and the world hasn't changed, at least I would have improved. So the I want to leave you with as two sayings of the Prophet, and when I say naughty, which may be a source of guidance for us, we can motivate us to Practical Action. When is the Prophet peace be upon him that
was the end, beloved, that is it, and never forget which will which is a benefit in devil for that which is a benefit and seek Allah's assistance, idea of divine connection as well. You're not alone. And you are accountable to a live entity and who is the source of inspiration and source of life. So in order for that it is beneficial. Seek the assistance of Allah, and not be of those who are lithologic and giving up. Don't be a don't give up. Don't Don't be of those who succumb to the mentality of procrastination, or not fulfilling what needs to be done. So endeavor for these beneficial, seek the assistance of the Divine and do not give up. The second one I've alluded to, is
also that I mentioned in the marketable Asana cliche, the saying of the Prophet, Allah has prescribed excellence in everything you do. This notion of your son implies both doing what is good, coupled with excellence in performance. In other words, both content and manner in which it was a sincere intention, commitment, critical self analysis, what we call Maha Sabha. And then a need a realization of the need to improve and to move on this idea of excellence in performance, as well as doing what is good. makes us realize that as I mentioned, whatever is good is worth doing. And whatever is worth doing, is worth doing well. In fact, to the extent the Prophet peace be upon him
said, in the law, you have Buddha.
Allah loves, if you do something you do as best you can. In other words, you do it with excellence. I leave you with the last one, which is the same was in the early karma logic, prophets, nephew and son in law and the Khalif family said, Yeah, maliniak and Nikita issue,
erotic and Nikita motiva, which somewhat captures the notion of agency.
agency, don't wait, don't procrastinate, I'll lose some time and you never do it. One of the reasons people don't change, they may see the need to change, they may realize they need to change, but not now. When New Year come and when new year comes, the following New Year will do it. So is it work for this world, as if you are going to be here forever? fulfill your responsibility. Don't say, I'm going to
work for this world fulfill all your duties, all your responsibilities, as if you are going to be here forever womanly erotic,
and work for the Hereafter, as if you die tomorrow, because you need to realize but it is mentioned about the limited time his life is limited. We don't know. So, you know, every breath we breathe the breath closer to our death, acknowledge that make full benefit of every breath we take. So that is meaningful, purposeful, and beneficial. inshallah, they definitely is the reason for one having to make a change. For the Idris your few parting words inshallah? Yes, from what six Allah was saying, I think a critical thing that we need to recognize that people change when there is a pressure to change. I think the greatest pressure on every human being is the fact that we are mortal human
beings, we are mortal, and we are going to die. That that's, that's, that's a reality, a reality we need to accept. Now what is important is this, that in the end, what I'm gonna share with the listeners, basically is the following.
If you look at yourself, and you look at the environment around you, what do you see?
Are you happy? Are you genuinely happy? What is it that makes you happy? What is it that makes you said,
to a person that is selfish and self absorbed, that apps money in his pocket, makes him very happy
and obedient kid makes him happy. But to another person. He says, You know what, if I can help someone, if I can unleash my own potential, and be a source of hope for humanity at large, then that will make me truly happy. These are the examples of wonderful leaders.
People who are the agents of change, people who did not find excuses or rationalize, but they took ownership. And part of ownership is, as you rightly indicate the chick satola is also to pursue excellence. We're not perfect beings, but we are, can pursue excellence, and relentlessly or rather going there, fighting all the time and persevering. So what I'm saying to you, come on man, they may not be tomorrow. Maybe it's only now to it for yourself, for your eternal well being. So that when you die, people say my gosh, this person brought joy to me. He fought oppression, he fought for justice. He was compassionate, he was caring, he was so giving. He was so understanding. The family
I've been inspired by my father, by my mother, I learned generosity from him. He used to always aim for excellence. He showed me my own potential as a human being.
And also what is very critical, is the fact that as human beings, we have only one line and one life rather. And it's about loving people, and about sharing that love and being there, because you cannot lead a claustrophobic existence. We are gregarious animals, we are part of the whole humanity. So sitting back at home, doing nothing, and being passive and be parasitic is not the life that we are born for. So I want to wish you well, I pray for your success. I have no doubt, please believe in my brothers and sisters, if you do not change within 48 hours is unlikely you're going to change when the Sahaba learned something for Nabi sallallahu, wasallam, they internalize it
immediately. They were restless until they practice it. And even more restless until authority to others, the best way of learning is to share what you have learned. And as one person said, and I came across this the other day, if you stop learning today, then you cannot teach tomorrow.
So dear listener, do you want to empower yourself?
Next question. Are you ready for change? We've spoken about a lot. I've asked a lot of questions. And I want to remind you of some of the questions we discussed, what is changed? We discussed Who are the people who are reluctant to change, we discussed why it's necessary to change we discussed how do we overcome our fear of failure because that we spoke about and said that that's our main reason for not wanting to change. And we spoke largely about empowering ourselves. Now, I want to know from you once again, are you ready to change? Do you know who you are? Do you know where you are going to? Have you decided? What changes you want to make in your life? Have you looked in the
mirror? Have you developed SMART goals and attainable goals? Do you feel that you are alone in this world?
Am I right that taking small steps toward change is going to help
making notes to improve yourself? Do you think that's going to assist? And more importantly, are your intentions sincere in wanting to change? chef's Arjuna I want to say thank you very much to you for your words of wisdom. Brother Idris thank you very much for also giving us your
beautiful beautiful words of wisdom. And I'm hoping inshallah, that myself as well as each and every person listening is able to imbibe the theory that was discussed here, as well as the practical issues and I'm hoping each person is going to get something different. And there's something else I want to say is that each time one would listen to the CD, one would pick up something new, hey, I can do that. Or hey, I can try that. Because I think that's what's required for you to listen and then listen again. And then listen once more and say what change can I make for today? Because I think basically, this is what both brother Idris and Chef satilla wanted from you is to introspect
and see how you can improve your life inshallah, from Mishima McCaffrey Jazakallah hair Salaam Alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh