Essential Fiqh – November 29, 2020

Daood Butt


Channel: Daood Butt

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The importance of wedding Hospitality is emphasized, along with the need for everyone to serve their roles. The speakers emphasize the importance of serving oneself and finding the perfect environment for the wedding, while respecting women and disregarding laws. The conversation covers topics including the negative impact of rushing to "any" and the importance of living your life to care for others, as well as the need for acceptance and building a positive culture for women. The conversation ends with a brief advertisement for a calligraphy.

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You will be here woman wila My bad. My brothers and sisters said Mr. de comarcal de La Habra cattle, we're just gonna wait. Actually we'll just give people a few seconds to login

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and then eat five seconds of your time because I completely completely forgot to do that and it's open and the cleaners are going to start making some noise. So give me 543210

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Okay, so today inshallah Tada, we are going to continue our chapter.

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You know, through the chapter of marriage, I should say we're going to continue through the chapter of marriage. And we're going to be talking about the walima Mm hmm. The walima which is basically the wedding feast or the wedding reception, as we call it in modern times, right. So we're going to be talking about the walima What is a will EMA itself and how are we supposed to celebrate it what is right according to the Sunnah of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam what is permissible to do what is not permissible in the walima these are things that we will talk about today in sha Allah Medina.

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We are also if we have time, we will move off after the chapter or after this part of the what EMA into discussing.

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I don't know if I should mention it, but discussing the permissibility of having more than one wife. All right, so I see chick Moon is on there Mashallah. I know you're hungry. And whenever someone is invited to a wedding reception or the walima they're not supposed to reject that reception invitation, they are supposed to accept it and go to it. And so for any of you that are hungry, I don't know about you, but I'm not getting married right now. I've been married for some time. And we're only allowed to have one wife in Canada, right? As in it's illegal to marry or to be married to multiple people at one point in time.

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All right, at the same time, I should say so inshallah love we have time we may transition off into that. But we'll start with the with the man shot a lot of data. So the obligation of the wedding feast. Now,

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when a person gets married and has their kneecap or two people get married, I should say and have their Nika then they must have a wedding feast. This is known as the walima. Okay, and we see that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he ordered the recommended been out of the Ummah and to have a walima after his marriage as well.

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Good evening, Hasib said when earlier of the law and proposed to Fatima with Yolanda and her, the Messenger of Allah salallahu alayhi wa sallam said a wedding must have a wedding feast at the wedding must have the wedding feast. So it is not just something that's a sum that it's a part of the wedding. Right? And the scholars say that this is a

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a part of our DNA, I should say that as wedges, right, someone who gets married, must have that wedding feast.

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Now, we'll look at what what happens in the case that someone can't afford to have that wedding feast. We'll see that shortly. inshallah. So to start with, there's three points that we want to cover. The first is that the wedding feast could be for more than just one day, it could be for three days. And we see this in the example of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam, when he married, Sophia, are the alumni and her, you know, the wedding feast or the the days of feast went on for three days.

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And so that is something that is permissible. However, it's not encouraged, I would say, it's not encouraged to go more than that, of course, we shouldn't go further than three days. And there are some cultures where you'll see for 30 days, they will have a winner. So for any of you who are marrying into very, you know, interesting cultures, it might be very cool and awesome to have 30 days walima But remember, paying to feed people for 30 days is not an easy task. And as well, we have to look at who we're feeding, right. Who are we feeding, okay.

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I saw lots of articles on some of the brothers are scared. They're their wife is sitting with them during the holiday. So they're leaving and letting the wife attend the class only I think all the brothers should stay sitting right next to their wife. In fact, hold her hand, put your arm around her Hold her tight, right get her some water make her feel comfortable.

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Why because you want her to feel like she got the best person in her marriage and hundred in law. Okay.

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So the first thing that we covered was the fact that the wedding feast itself can last for more

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than just one day up to three days. The second point that we want to make here is that the righteous people should be invited to the Widener, okay? Sometimes you'll see people inviting only the wealthy not talking about the wealthy return low righteous, righteous people should be invited to the walima to the feast. So righteous people should be invited to it, whether they are rich or poor. Okay, whether someone is rich or poor, it doesn't matter. They're to be invited to the wedding the way Lima. However, we should not only invite the rich, and you'll find this to be a typical custom, or culture in many places nowadays, where they will invite rich or wealthy or well off family members

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or relatives to come to a wedding because the gifts are going to be nice, right? Because the and then they go a step further, they invite the wealthy and then they put on the invitation, no box to gifts, monetary gifts only, Mashallah. So if we give you, you know, you know, something we got on sale that's worth $100. But we bought on Black Friday, for example, and it was 50% off plus another 25% off, so you got it for, you know, instead of paying $100 for a gift for someone ended up paying $25 for it, because you need to save some money. But now, if you go and you put $25 in a

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in an envelope, and you give it to someone as a wedding gift, and they only $25 Why do they give me $25? Right, so you start complaining about that.

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And this is where some have a lot we are not to have a walima for the purpose of receiving gifts. The purpose of the walima is to announce the wedding, it's to announce the marriage to let people know that these two people are now married to their hell for each other, they can be with each other. And to feed those people because you get the rewards. It's a subject that you're doing right you get the rewards and you're beginning your wedding with you know, feeding people and getting rewards for that for doing a kind act for others. I know quite a few of you are typing in questions. Can you just wait for the questions I'm pretty sure some of your questions will be answered

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throughout the session. And I'm not going to start scrolling and checking questions now. So just hold off wait until the end of the session and then please ask your questions. inshallah, if you want to chat and go you know, mentioned things comment about things go ahead, you know, put Smiley's and click on those hearts and colorful things and stuff. Go ahead. But please refrain from putting the questions up now because I'm just not going to read them. Okay.

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So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Do not be a companion except to a believer, and do not have anyone eat your food except a pious person. What this means here is the first part, do not be a companion, except to a believer, right? So make sure that your closest of friends are those who are believers in a loss of how to wind down and why because you want to surround yourself with people of like mine Do you want to surround yourself with people that are going to have the same goals and objectives as you, you want to surround yourself with people that are going to motivate you and be positive and encourage you and so on and so forth. And do not have anyone eat your food

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except the pious person. So make sure that you're not just inviting someone because they have money and they're going to gift you well invite someone who is righteous and pious and close to Allah subhana wa, Tada. What this means as well as you don't want to invite people into your home, that are not going to be beneficial to you, and may have a negative impact upon your family. Okay, so you need to be very careful with that. Of course, there's other contexts that we could put around to this idea, but we don't have the time for that. This is just an you know, one of the one of the heads or proofs or evidences that is given with regards to this topic that we're covering right now,

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inviting the righteous people, as well as,

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sorry, the righteous people, whether they are rich or poor. Okay, the third part of this

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when you say the third part of this of this chapter, but the third, you know, aspect that we're going to cover in sha Allah is

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with regards to what you should serve at the walima

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a sheep or more, if someone has the means, or someone is able to afford more than that's good. If they can't, then sacrificing one sheep is sufficient, okay, that should be offered as a meal. So, here we see the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you know,

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through the example of the recommended growth, where the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told him give a wedding feast, even if with just a sheep. So if you just have one

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sheep that you're going to sacrifice and cook it and feed to the people, then that is good. And that is sufficient, right? So we see here that what is encouraged is to have sheep, right? or lamb or mutton, right.

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Some people will be like, and I've seen this before we've gone to weddings, and we're standing in line and they're like beef, veal, chicken, beef, veal, chicken, they're like, Where's the Martin?

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Is like some kind of invited you. They're feeding you. And you're still asking for more. You're like, Where's this? I want the high quality meat on the really expensive meat on field. Forget about beef on feel nice and tender, soft pink meat. Right? So Pamela, so whatever they can afford is what they're going to give you. Now some people have, you know, they make a valid point, I remember standing in line to get food one set of walima. And to be honest with him is not my thing. I find you know handler's findings enjoyable for a lot of people. But for me, because my schedule is usually so packed away, Lima takes up such a huge part of my day can get so much done during that

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time. And I just I don't know, it's just my wife says I'm anti social, I just don't like socializing with people. And a little bit of that is true. I am an introvert at the end of the day, right? So

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you know, I remember standing in line at a wedding. And this is at a super nice fancy reception hall with like, beautiful chandelier ears and, you know, stuff hanging and it was just really nice. And you think to yourself, some kind of love must be at least like $40,000 that was spent on just the walima and getting the haul and stuff like that. But then you cut corners on food, like the one thing that people are coming for is the food. They don't care about the chandelier, they don't care. Well, I would say that most of us don't care, right? Some people do care. They want to see all the fancy glitz and glamour and all that stuff. But for the most part, you know what, even if there's

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just a sofa or a desktop icon on the ground with some paper plates, right? And no utensils, eat your hands, but at least the food's got to be nice. That's what you're inviting people for. So sometimes people put so much emphasis on the place. And that's what this brother was complaining about once we were standing in line at,

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you know, at a wedding at a walima to get the food and his brother was like, What is this? Just chicken and one beef dish? He's like, Where's the lamb?

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And I was like, some kind of Are you serious? Like, come on, they invited us he's like, what you think renting this place was cheap. They could have saved money on this and spent the money on the food. So that's how the people think right? People think for their bellies. They think for themselves first and panela for inviting people to come and eat and we're spending money on other stuff. Well

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spend the money on what people want and they want their food right? As we saw at the beginning, okay.

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Yeah, sometimes a food is so spicy as well. So kind of LA. Go simple. My brothers and sisters go simple. Don't go all out. Okay.

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so one of the brothers says his wife says that men care about the food and the wives look at the venue.

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A lot. That's the brother's wife's opinion. Okay, I'll leave it at that. I'm not taking responsibility for anyone's statements. That's not my statement.

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It is permissible to give the feast with whatever food is within one's means. Even if there is no meat that is going to be offered. on us about the logline stated

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that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam stayed between halibut and Medina for three days at the beginning of his marriage with Sophia. He invited the Muslims to the wedding feast. However, there was no bread or meat. So at the walima of the prophet SAW alongside of us alum at one of his when he was right, there was no bread and there was no meat. He asked the people, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam asked the people to gather food, and they brought dates, dried yogurt, and ghee,

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like butter, right summon.

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And that was the wedding feast at the wedding of the prophets on a longer led to a sanlam with Sophia. Okay.

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Very interesting. So that's, you know, a hadith that shows us that the walima lasted for a few days, right? The celebration lasted for a few days. And also the fact that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did not have enough to offer the people meat. He did not even have enough to offer the people bread. And he even asked the people together for

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Food and bring it so it was like a potluck. Right? Well, we would typically call a potluck, it was everyone bringing food to a wedding. And that's the beauty of it, you know, so kind of low, when you look at many of the weddings have this habit of the longer and home, the people pitched in to make the wedding happen for that couple. As opposed to now, the couple first of all the brother miskeen is like, it took me 35 years to find her find them be I find her and she's like the wife that I want to have. And she's 32 and he's 35. And he's like, I have to pay, you know, $100,000 for and then includes the Maholm and it includes the reception hall and it includes the tuxedos and the suits

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that are imported from other countries. And it includes the wedding, the flights to the wedding because we got to fly people in from all over the place. So he's you know, for count like 4050 6070 $80,000 night $100,000 I know someone's had a brother he was telling me, you know, $120,000 was spent on there when he got $120,000 was spent on there when EMA and their wedding lasted two and a half weeks.

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hold of that gone $120,000 on the walima that includes like rental cars, limousines flights for family members coming in hotels and you know, food for people while they're staying and all of the hundred and $20,000 in their wedding lasted two and a half weeks. So here we see the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam showing us that even if we don't have or a couple doesn't have, we should not make two people wait longer to get married because they don't have money to put together this beautiful, you know, lavish, amazing, super, you know, awesome walima

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and the miskeen brother has to pay for like really high end Maha as well. Right What we see is the community comes together and pays or brings together the resources to decorate something or you know put things together and bring a feast bring some food dates look the William of the prophets on a longer it was sending them dates. Dried yogurt, right which was kind of like crispy, right? Dried yogurt kind of like a cracker and ghee that you can just, you know, dip that in, or take your your date and you dip it in there like butter, and you eat it some ham a lot. That was the wedding feast of one of the weddings of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, which one of us is feasting on

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that none of us, right? We have a lot more than that. But it goes to show us the importance of the community, that the community should come together to help people out, right come together to help people out. So

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when two people are looking to get married, don't just put the financial burden on those people. Everyone comes in. They're like, okay, you're gonna sue Panama. I remember some, some people recently, we're talking about weddings. And I had never happened. This has never happened to me before. But apparently, if you're invited to people's weddings, and they live far away, they'll even pay for your transportation and come to the wedding and they'll pay for your hotel. miskeen Why would you do that? Why on earth would anyone charge the bride and the groom? Okay. People will say but they want us to be there. Okay, how long they want you to be there? Why do you have to put the

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financial burden on them so hard.

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So make it easy, make it easy, make it easy.

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It is not allowed to invite only the rich and exclude the poor, is not allowed to invite only the rich and exclude the poor. We should invite, you know, pretty much like an open invitation at the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam but like we said, invite those who are righteous invite good people, whether they're rich or whether they are poor. Don't just look at who's got money, okay? The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said the worst food is the food of the wedding feast. The rich are invited to it while the poor are avoided. Whoever does not respond to the invitation has disobeyed a lot in his messenger. So this is an example of how the Prophet sallallahu

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alayhi wa sallam is not saying that the food from a wedding is terrible, don't eat it know, what he means by this is that the wedding feast or the walima?

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Usually and even their time people would cater for the rich, leave the poor out don't invite them. They're not. They don't have clothing. They're not dressed properly. So kind of a lie, you know,

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as a beauty of growing up around some people when we were young, I remember going to so many weddings and it didn't matter what you were wearing. We were at the masjid. And I remember countless amounts of limos where we were at the masjid and my dad was like, okay, we're going to so and so person's wedding. What? Yeah, you know, the we just found out we're at the mushroom.

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We lived we lived far from the mustard so whenever we were there it was like haha something comes up we go so we're at the masjid and we find out someone's son or daughter is getting married. Just go straight there you don't go home you don't get changed. You don't you don't really need to beautify yourself more than you already are. Just go enjoy the feast. Make dua for the couple. Okay.

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The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, if one of you is invited to a meal, he should respond. If you were not fasting, he should eat. If you were fasting, he should pray. And what the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam means by prey is make it do or make a drop for blessings upon those people. Right.

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also a person may even break his fast if he was fasting a voluntary fast, especially if if the host is insisting so we know very well that if we're if we're fasting, voluntary fast, and we're invited to someone's home or invited to someone's wedding and we're fasting, if it's not a compulsory fast, we can break our fast and eat their food and celebrate with them. And if a person feels you know, they don't want to that is also okay, but they should make a door out for the people you came and and you eating their food is sadaqa from them, they want to receive rewards. So make a door out for them. Right make a door out for them. So that they you know, you didn't get to eat from their food,

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but in sha Allah to Allah, you know, they'll still be rewarded for inviting you to come over and share that time with them.

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The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Whoever is invited should should respond to the invitation. If he wishes he may eat and if he wishes, you may abstain from it. Okay, so if we're invited somewhere we can eat, and if we feel like you know if we're fasting, we don't feel like eating. No big deal. Okay, no big deal. I'm actually just gonna adjust my light here. It's been a long day. My eyes are hurting me.

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Oh, that's okay. I hope you're still able to see properly. Let me just tap here and see if that changes something. There you go. Okay.

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Now, the next part of this chapter,

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it is recommended for the guest to abide by the following two matters. Now we're talking about the guests at the minima. First of all, after eating, the guest should make a dua supplicate for the host, okay supplicate for the host make a drop. For example, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would say a lot more basic level and female on socrata home will feel at home what a handle or a loving mother in men a vironment he was the man is Connie or the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would say I cannot knock on a bro. Well, son let down to Allie Cromwell mela iica well off in the UK on a site anymore. So the profits on a longer led or someone would supplicate and make do out for

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the people that invited him for the host. Okay, the hosts so the first thing that the guest should do when whenever we're invited not just to Lima. But anytime we're invited anywhere to someone's home for anything if they serve us some tea or they serve us, you know, some sweets or you know, some refreshments or something of that sort even if it's nothing even if it's just some water, right? We should supplicate for them make a doorbell that allows some handler to add up blood blesses them

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the guest should pray for the husband and wife as they make do out for the husband and wife. So don't just make out for them to be blessed because they gave you food make do out for blessings between that couple. Okay. Asking for goodness and blessings from Allah subhana wa to add that for the couple itself and we took this you know this this example before about a Colombo liquid Okay, la cocina de Naka Murphy hired if you're speaking to the, to the groom, or about a local know about Okay, Lake Como Gemma urbaine, aka Murphy feiyr, if you're able to speak to both of them, okay.

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However, it is not permissible to respond to an invitation. And I see that, you know, sister, Luke now is asking this question, it is not permissible to respond to an invitation if the gathering involves sinful acts. So if there's anything that's happening there at the wedding, that is how long that is not permissible, then we are not encouraged to accept that invitation. Okay. And in some cases, it can actually be how I'm for us to accept that invitation because we're going in sitting in the middle or in the midst of how long so it is not permissible to respond to such an

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invitation if the gathering involves sinful acts, unless one has the intention to remove them, and put a stop to it. So you come in and you're like, the hot on police is here, right? And you're like, I don't

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blow your whistle and you're like, you know, directing the traffic kind of thing. So no, we're not going to

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show up and disrupt something. We don't want to go and cause fitna, okay, but if there's something that is wrong, and how, um, for example, you know, if if there's loud music blasting, and people are dancing with each other Maha, you know, doesn't matter if they're Muslim to one another or not, right? It's just all out wild. How don't don't go, why do you need to be there? Right? You don't need to be there. There's alcohol being served, how long? You don't need to be there, right? If there's something that's going to take place, that is not, you know, alcohol and dancing and singing, or, you know, music and all that stuff, but what if it's an act of worship, that is how

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long something that is shipped? Or an act of, you know, doing something, maybe part of the wedding in itself is not permissible? Maybe it's an invalid wedding, right? Maybe it's someone getting married to someone they're not supposed to be getting married to, right islamically if it's not permissible to marry, you know, that person, then why attend that wedding? Okay?

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I need, the longer it said,

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actually, before I go any further, I'm going to put a disclaimer out there, or just add a little note to this. We live at a time and especially those of us who live in, you know, countries like Canada or you know, in the Western world, many of our family members, relatives, and so on may or may not be Muslim. Also, you know, we we have to be very wise with the way that we handle certain cases, okay. So sometimes you may come across a certain,

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a certain invitation, and you're not sure if you should, you know, accept it or not, please consult with your local, you know, scholar or email them or someone you trust someone who you know, has knowledge who can help you out, to figure out if there's any benefit to you attending that or not, I do have the Obama unsaid, I prepared some food and invited the messenger of a loss on a lot of it, he was on them. When he came, he saw pictures in my house. So he left. I said on messenger of a lot by my father and mother, what made you leave, he said in the house, there was a curtain containing pictures. The angels do not enter a house containing pictures.

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So Pamela, the prophets in the long run, either send them didn't even enter the house. Because of that he left

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because he didn't want to be seated, sitting in a place that was not permissible for them or in a place where there was something that is not permissible to be done. Okay, was it how long for him to be sitting with that person? No, but there was something going on that he was displeased with, right? And so he didn't want to be in that area. Now.

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We also have to look at the fact that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was sitting with Sahaba with companions and he was sitting with people who he held that a higher standard right? Then they probably even considered themselves he held them at a higher standard. And so we need to not paint everyone with the same brush. Okay, not everyone is the same not everyone's situation is going to be the same. Sometimes you might be seated in a place I remember how many times have you know we've been praying sada or even I've been asked to lead salah and you're like in a place right next to you the wall right next door is like just nonsense going on. I remember when the sunlight in

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Montreal at the time, the unit right next to it was like a strip club. And so you're in there praying sauna, and all you're hearing all night long is just like music blasting, blasting, blasting, people would be like, go home Don't come No, we have to understand that in this space. This is you know where we are. And next to us is something that is how maybe but we have to try and work with this right as in, we have to try to you know, continue to stand strong, do what's right and use wisdom and hekla to try and change certain situations. So it's not always going to be ideal. Not every situation is going to be ideal, but we have to try our best to make the best of every

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situation. And

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so of course, you know, the angels do not enter into the house that has those pictures,

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such as a customary practice of the pious predecessors this Abu Masaru the awkward in armored invited, was invited by a man for a meal and he said Are there pictures in the house and the men said yes, and almost rude.

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refused to enter until the pictures were destroyed and then he entered

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just shows how strict they were in their Deen and how they held their friends to a higher standard. They held their friends to a higher standard. This is an important point, right? Sometimes we go and we chill with friends. And there are things that may happen that are how long but we just let it go because they're our friends. We should not argue with our friends and destroy or break relationships. No, Muslims are encouraged to build bridges and mend relationships and try to fix issues. Right? A little bit of aerial view. And then here and in one cup, try to encourage good and forbid evil, try to stop the evil, right, try to put an end to it. So at times, you might be you

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know, at friend's house chilling and something comes up. That's, that's no good. That's wrong. That's how long right?

00:30:53--> 00:31:37

Don't, don't start to argue with with your friend that you no longer are friends. But treat that situation, deal with your friends in a way where you're holding them to a higher standard. And they appreciate you holding them to a higher standard, but also be ready for them to hold you to a higher standard. Be ready for them to correct you be ready for them to point out your mistakes as well. And this is where we need to learn how to point out someone's mistakes, how to go about correctly correcting someone's mistakes. There's even a book about this. You could easily find it online. The prophetic method of correcting people's mistakes I believe it's titled in English, right? So

00:31:40--> 00:32:35

learn, learn learn. It's all about learning. Okay. imaginable. Claudia Rahim Allah recorded in Oman, invited a Europe listen to this one in armour invited you. And sorry, of the alloga. And, and he saw a sheet covering the wall in almost said the women have overpowered us. You have the MRI and said, If I were to fear that this would happen to anyone, I would not have feared that it would happen to you. He's telling us to be the son of our own football. He says by a law, I will not partake in your meal. And then he left Panama. What does that show us? First of all, I want to I want to clarify something even out of the alohar nkhoma. He says the women have overpowered us. This has nothing to

00:32:35--> 00:32:43

do with women being evil or women being you know this and that it's not about the women. It's about

00:32:45--> 00:32:46

this husband

00:32:48--> 00:33:38

or this person, not able to completely stop things that are impermissible from entering into his house. Okay. And because of that things slowly start to creep in small little things here and there. And this is like a Like I said before, they would hold their friends to higher standards, they would expect that nothing. The son of Armitage hooked up the prophets on the one round he was someone was asked, right we're going to see that example very soon. He was asked Who is the most beloved person to you? And we know very well he said I shall. Then he was asked but amongst the men, and he said, Oh boo ha her father. And then he was asked along it was some? And then who like yeah, okay, I

00:33:38--> 00:34:20

should look at the other one. Then who then was our Alma ignore football, or omitted no football was close to the prophets on a long rally with some of them. And we know I'm gonna be a long time most people make it to seem as though he was so strict. But the reality is that he was really sincere. Yeah, he may have come across as strict. But that was his self discipline that was him controlling himself as well, and not letting others have an effect on him. And so we, we would expect that the son of armour on the lower end, who was the Sahabi, and lived around the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would have a higher standard of living as well. Why would you let these pictures being

00:34:20--> 00:34:22

hung and things happening in your house?

00:34:24--> 00:34:47

A stuffed Villa, right? And so a human on the lower left is like I'm not eating in your house I'm leaving. Right? And that's a lesson for them because they're like, No, I want to be honored by you. I want him to be in my presence. I want him to sit there. I want I want to, you know, share my food with him. I'm supposed to give him because he's righteous, He's good. He's pious.

00:34:48--> 00:35:00

And so it was like, a sad thing or he can't be with us. He's not going to eat here. What have we done? And it's not about doing things for the sake of our friends.

00:35:00--> 00:35:07

It's our friends telling us signaling a reminder, hey, what you're doing is wrong.

00:35:09--> 00:35:18

For the sake of Allah, according to Allah, what you're doing is wrong. And so stop it. And until you stop it, I'm not going to eat in your house. I said,

00:35:24--> 00:35:26

right, these locks away, I eating.

00:35:27--> 00:35:29

Let's see some more examples inshallah.

00:35:35--> 00:35:36

At the walima

00:35:42--> 00:35:53

women are permitted to take part in the edema, you'll see very traditional actually not traditionally and say, like, tradition, what am I talking about? make it seem like I'm 90 years old. When I was a kid.

00:35:55--> 00:36:16

I remember some were limos were only for the men. Okay, I remember going to anemias and they were just like maybe 1015 women there and like 300 Brothers, all of them sitting down wearing chalok gummies turbans on their head sitting down eating right. And it was like the window is only for the men. So it's not ugly. It's permissible for the women, for women to take part in the Lima as well.

00:36:18--> 00:36:23

So women may be permitted to make the wedding known

00:36:24--> 00:36:43

by beating on the Duff, so they can during the wedding women can like beat on the Duff right on the hand drum the Duff does tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Right. And this Malaysian weddings Malaysian weddings are awesome. Soon as the bride or the groom is coming in. It's like

00:36:46--> 00:36:52

they go crazy with the Duff. It's awesome. What do they call it? compound, compound.

00:36:53--> 00:36:58

compound. compound is the village compound is the Duff, okay compound.

00:37:00--> 00:37:09

And so it's permissible for women to do that, but they should do it amongst the women. Okay, they should do it amongst the women, they shouldn't just do it out in public, where everyone is seeing all these women, you know, enjoying themselves, okay?

00:37:10--> 00:37:25

So they are able to celebrate amongst the women, they can have fun. But here's the disclaimer. Once again, my brothers and especially my sisters, nowadays, everyone has phones, and I'm live streaming from the phones, you.

00:37:26--> 00:38:00

Um, super, my wife knows I'm super strict with this, you go to a wedding, you keep your hijab off, you go to a wedding, you keep your hijab, on why? And it just really gets under my skin like you would not believe when you go to a wedding and sisters are like, oh, but it's segregated, it's fine. And they take off their job. Yeah, it's segregated. But nowadays people don't care. They have their phones and everyone's like live streaming it. They're like posting it on Instagram and Snapchat, and you know, Facebook, YouTube, all these different places. Now you have

00:38:01--> 00:38:07

fleet, right, Twitter has fleet and you know, they can easily capture a picture of you and post it

00:38:09--> 00:38:31

or video of you and post it. And then what are you going to do? Then? Go ahead, tell me Then what are you going to do? What are you going to do? Nothing, nothing. There's nothing you're going to do. Because you're going to try to do everything to get that video down and you will not succeed. Okay, somewhere. It's out there, somewhere out there.

00:38:33--> 00:38:53

So keep your head out on sisters and also tried to be civilized at a wedding look what's in what's what's in the Sunnah, and permitted that the Sahaba or how the the female companions did was at a time when there was no recordings. A time when you know people were there. And remember,

00:38:54--> 00:39:10

recordings during the time of the Sahaba, DLR and Homer was done up here in their brain, they would hear the prophets all along it was some of them speaking, they would see him doing something they would see him permitting or disallowing something right, not not permitting something.

00:39:11--> 00:39:37

And they would remember it, and they would remember it word for word, and they would remember the details of things as well. Their recording was up here, but they were so respectful, that they would not even describe like a wife would come back from a wedding. And she would not even dare to describe another sister to her husband or to anyone else's not my home to

00:39:40--> 00:39:40


00:39:42--> 00:39:42


00:39:44--> 00:39:45

Because no need to.

00:39:48--> 00:39:50

But why? Because I was watching

00:39:52--> 00:39:54

because Allah subhanho wa Taala is watching.

00:39:55--> 00:39:59

Right? For the sake of pleasing a lot. It's not because oh

00:40:00--> 00:40:02

You don't need to know No, a lot doesn't let you know.

00:40:04--> 00:40:43

Right? Now, you know to talk and be like, Okay, this took place when we're doing this fun. We're talking about like, over so long and you she's got red streaks and no you know sisterhood so and so she permed her hair. And did you know that she had her eyes done up and she's got these purple contact lenses now and the brothers sitting there like, you know, drooling miskeen He's like, Oh, this sister Mashallah wears her profile. Let's go check it out, right? And I'm gonna flip this now. It's not only brothers, you know, with sisters, sisters with brothers. We're human beings almost. How do we find it mentions it in the Quran? And he tells the believing women as well lower your

00:40:43--> 00:40:58

gaze. Don't look. Don't look, if you're attracted to a brother. Don't look. Right. Keep your distance. What else does he say? How remote the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says and handle a LOTE.

00:40:59--> 00:41:02

A brother in law, his death.

00:41:05--> 00:41:41

Right? The brother in law, his death? Why does the prophets on the long end of the sudden use such strong words and hammer alignment? Done? No. No, like a hammer? Or radula? No, no, no. You know? There's no as we say in Arabic, no, like bouncing around. You didn't didn't No, no, no, no. straightforward, brother on death. Why? Because sometimes families get together sit down, mingle, talk, eventually is like or sit next to me. Okay, puts his hand around her. What are you doing?

00:41:43--> 00:42:13

What are you doing? No way. That's not the way it is. Right? A little bit of dough that Allah has sent me over protective, right? Stay away from my wife, stay away and stay away. So that's the way it has to be right? We have to be protective of each other. Right? And look after one another. And I don't even know why and how I went down this tangent, but I did. So the women are permitted to go and we're talking about recording, you know, be careful of recordings, be careful of recordings. Okay.

00:42:15--> 00:42:49

And then one thing that's really annoying is like, you know, sometimes I've been to weddings, and you know, you go out to use the bathroom. And you're walking by and you have to walk by the door. Were their sisters and sisters like, oh, there's no brothers. And they quickly run out of the door into the bathroom. And then when they come out, you know, you might be walking by, and then you feel like a criminal like, Oh, I saw sister so and so without her hijab on you feel like oh, you know, they're gonna think bad of me. Oh, why did she have her hijab off in the first place is walking around in the hallways a long time. Anyways, sorry about that. A little tangent. Alright, so it was

00:42:49--> 00:43:23

permitted from for for the women to be there, they can use the Duff, they may also sing, okay. They may also sing permissible songs that do not describe people's beauty, or lewd matters. So they may sing something that's permissible, that has a good meaning. But they are not allowed to describe people's beauty. And they might sing that and then the men hear it and they're like, oh, what's going on over there? Right? And, you know, they're not allowed to say anything that's wrong or bad.

00:43:26--> 00:43:32

Yeah, sometimes all the rules go out, go out the window at a wedding. It's kind of long and not protect us all. So true.

00:43:34--> 00:43:53

Everybody's a wedding was just a wedding. The wedding ain't no wedding wedding is where everyone lets down their guard. That's probably one of the reasons why I hate weddings. I've seen sad to say this, you know, my, my half of half of my family members, my relatives are not Muslim.

00:43:55--> 00:44:30

You know, from my mom's side, and I've seen things have gone to non Muslim weddings before because my relatives and I've seen things that I just wish I could erase from my from my memory, but you can't erase it. You know, for other people that like they're, some of them are half drunk. They don't even know what's going on. And then those that are not drunk, well, it's his wedding. They're just having fun and just having fun. It's fine. I'm just having fun. It doesn't mean anything. There's not it doesn't mean anything, just having fun. I don't know to someone who cares about you know, people in human beings. That's not fun. That's destroying relationships as destroying families

00:44:30--> 00:45:00

as destroying people. You got to be really careful. Don't throw all the rules or don't throw the rulebook out the window and you're going to a wedding. Don't let your guard down, ship on is ready to mess with you even more. Because he knows people are going to be celebrating, having fun. And that's an easy way to get distracted from the remembrance of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And remember, the wedding itself is an act of remembering Allah subhanho wa Taala and if we're going to throw that out the window, but what's the point of the

00:45:00--> 00:45:02

wedding. What's the point of the wedding?

00:45:04--> 00:45:35

crate so if you ever want to invite an a*a artist as male he just signed on to my to my Instagram now he's there if you ever need him for your weddings, you know he can he can do some some good art to hamdulillah we're just talking about the women able to sing amongst themselves and play the Duff. Well, you know if you ever want to invite a brother on the brother side or you know to to sing something nice, that's helpful and good and has some good meaning to it and ask you Yes. And yes, I take 25% commission

00:45:38--> 00:45:39

All right.

00:45:42--> 00:46:18

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said announce the wedding, as in make it known. Okay announced the wedding make it known. The prophets on a long rally who are solemn also said the distinction between what is permissible and what is forbidden in marriage is the plain of the Bengal list tambourine as in the Duff, and singing using the voice, anything more than that is what's not permissible. So any instrument other than the Duff and using your voice

00:46:19--> 00:46:23

is not permissible. But if you're going to do that, then Okay.

00:46:24--> 00:46:40

Um, it is obligatory upon the husband to treat his wife well, and to try to please her. This is like a no brainer that we've forgotten about right? You have to treat her well. Right? My wife's gonna be like, um, I know, she's probably sitting there laughing really hard right now.

00:46:43--> 00:46:55

It's obligatory upon the husband to treat his wife well, and to try to pleaser not only on the day of the walima, and the kneecap, it is obligatory every single day,

00:46:56--> 00:47:38

every single day, and also for the wife to please the husband. Right? So to treat them nice, treat each other nice in a respectful way. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, the best of you is the one who is best to his family. And when he says family halal complete or complete early, he's referring to his wife, spouse, best to your spouse. And then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says what are the fatal camillia and I am the best of you to my family. So look at his example and be like that to your family. That's really what the profits in the long run they have something to say. So treat your spouse nice not only on the wedding day, not only on the Lima day,

00:47:38--> 00:47:56

every single day treat your spouse nicely, not just like oh Today's the wedding day and Mashallah everything's nice and Gucci dup and you know, looking beautiful and fly and Bling, bling and got it all on and she's like, eyelashes, eyebrows, and you know, hands and everything's beautiful. And the next morning, it's just like,

00:47:58--> 00:48:04

right? They all look the worst they've ever looked. Brother wakes up, wakes up in the mornings, I could have the landlady

00:48:05--> 00:48:08

imagine what you make sure turns to his wife. He's like, I wouldn't be

00:48:12--> 00:48:19

Who is this? doesn't recognize her. Right? And same with the sister towards the brothers, some brothers Mashallah you see them in a like,

00:48:20--> 00:48:31

looking different, man, what's wrong with you? Right, some brothers are literally doing themselves up, like, chiseled here and chill there, and this and that and wake up in the morning. And the wife's like, I wasn't below Who's this person? My husband

00:48:32--> 00:49:01

didn't look like that before. So you wake up. And when you wake up, you're your real person, you are who you are. Right? This is where we need to make sure that we treat each other nice every day, not just the wedding day, you do yourself up for your spouse for the sake of a lot. Not not like you know, because I'm going out and Samantha is going to be there and Michael's going to be there. And you know, john is going to be there and and Jennifer is going to know because your spouse, okay, your spouse.

00:49:03--> 00:49:25

All right, where were we? Where were we? Yes, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam also said that believers, with the most complete faith are the ones with the best behavior. The believers with the most complete faith are the ones with the best behavior. And the best view is the one who treats his wives with the best manners.

00:49:27--> 00:49:56

Where did we fail? Where did we fail? Got to ask ourselves this question. All right. I know it's almost been an hour. If you want me to stop I'll stop but I want to try and finish up before the end of the page inshallah, just a couple more things to go. The Messenger of Allah salallahu alayhi wa sallam also said a believing men should never hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her craft characteristics, he will be pleased with another one of her characteristics. As in,

00:49:57--> 00:50:00

you might dislike something but there's something else that

00:50:00--> 00:50:38

You like, right? So I'm going to tell my wife, you might dislike something about me. But there's something else that you like, right? And you might be upset with me. But there's something that makes you happy. And you might be, you know, angry with me. But there's something about me that makes you laugh and smile. And so there's always going to be something else the prophets along it was somebody showing us a believing men should never hate a believing woman. And I use this example, even when people are getting divorced, she may be your ex wife, your new ex wife, you just divorced her. But that doesn't give you the right to hate her. She's still a believing woman, you have to

00:50:38--> 00:51:13

treat her nicely, you have to respect her. Thank you respect any of the other sisters in the mustard when you come first a lot, for example, right? any of the other, you know, brothers that are there, the sisters have to respect them as well. And sometimes people come and I really don't like this where people come and they're like, Oh, you know what? Women shouting, right? Or they'll make jokes like, Oh, you go home, it's like, you go home to shavon. Right? Or the wife, she says, When my you know, husbands when husbands come home, husbands are like, like shavon walks through the door shouldn't be that way. should not be that way. Shouldn't be the shape on walks through the door.

00:51:13--> 00:51:55

That's another believing men, and another believing woman. They may be your spouse as well. Why are we talking about each other? Like this? shouldn't be that way. Okay. And if you want to destroy your marriage, start using those words. Okay? This is this is like a tip that you should never use. Okay? This is a tip, you should never ever use just do not do what I'm about to tell you to do. Okay, if you want to destroy your marriage, start calling your wife shape on start, you know, using words that are going to annoy each other, and you will begin this road of destroying your marriage. And I've seen it firsthand.

00:51:57--> 00:52:10

I was gonna say dozens of times, but I could probably say hundreds of times now. How many marriages have failed because people just can't respect each other. There's no more respect. And once the respect is gone,

00:52:12--> 00:52:14

the marriage is gone. Okay.

00:52:15--> 00:52:18

Now, the next part is about having

00:52:21--> 00:52:37

more than one spouse and treating them right. But since we've gone on for 53 minutes or 15 minutes, we'll pause here and shot along, they can note about it. And we'll start from here next time inshallah Tada, because I want to open it up for some questions. Okay. So Today is

00:52:39--> 00:52:40


00:52:42--> 00:53:09

29 2020. And now is when you can type in your questions. Okay. So for those of you that were typing in questions before, please feel free to do that now. And we'll take some questions, try to keep your questions related to today's topic, I don't want to go off topic, because it's already been a very long session. And like I say, every week, the end of this class is the beginning of my weekend. And I would like to start my weekend sometime soon, inshallah.

00:53:10--> 00:53:51

And I know some of you while you're typing your questions, some of you are probably like, why is he going to talk about multiple wives we do live in Canada, it's illegal. Yes, I'm going to start with that as well, that we do live in Canada, and we have to respect the laws of the country or the land that we live in. But that doesn't mean that we cannot teach about what our religion allows us to do for people who may be watching living in a region or part of the world where they can do that. Okay. And so we'll talk about it about what's permissible islamically. But we have to remember to also look at the laws of the land that we live in and respect those laws as well. Okay.

00:53:56--> 00:54:10

So Lina is asking if it's okay for men and a woman to go out alone together to get to know each other before marriage? No, Lina, you're not allowed to do that. Maybe other people can, but you can't because you're my daughter. Sorry.

00:54:11--> 00:54:13

Sorry. truth is the truth.

00:54:16--> 00:54:26

So it depends, okay, it depends. There are certain scenarios where it may be something that, let me just move this out of the way. I'm just gonna toss this over here so I could read it better.

00:54:27--> 00:54:59

Okay, there may be certain scenarios that are permitted based on people's circumstances. So for example, when we were living in Malaysia, there were some people that we knew that wanted to Why's my screen, and you guys see me like red. There we go. It's weird. It's like I'm all red. So you know, some people we know who were looking to get married, and, you know, we'd go out with them sit at a restaurant table, and they could sit at the table next to us everyone is students so their families are not around, you know, so we'd chaperone and basically sit next to them.

00:55:00--> 00:55:13

So that we can, you know, observe make sure that there's nothing how long that's going on or being said. And you know, they can speak to each other Converse for a little bit. And then, you know, make their decision after that. Oh, me and a buddy will explain it to you later, but you're not allowed to do that.

00:55:14--> 00:55:20

boyfriend girlfriend stuff is not permitted in Islam. My daughter asking these questions, mom.

00:55:21--> 00:55:25

She's not even eight years. She's just just turned seven. All right.

00:55:26--> 00:55:31

So look, now we answered that question compound. Lu

00:55:33--> 00:55:34

that Rosalina

00:55:37--> 00:55:38


00:55:40--> 00:55:44

What logical aspect? You be okay.

00:55:45--> 00:55:50

Okay, good. hamdulillah that was answered. Let's take a look at Instagram here.

00:55:51--> 00:56:00

Doo doo doo. Are we allowed to invite only those who are needy instead of only those who are rich?

00:56:01--> 00:56:11

We there should be a balance. Okay, so look, don't invite Don't, don't invite based on wealth.

00:56:12--> 00:56:36

Invite based on piety. Remember the advice of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam is invite the righteous, invite good people to your wedding. Okay, good people, people were good with good manners. People are respectful. If they're rich. They love if they're poor. Alhamdulillah. Right. So you don't just disregard the rich just because someone's rich doesn't mean there's something wrong with them.

00:56:37--> 00:57:01

Earth man for the long run was super rich. And we're obey the law. Right? Look at some of these. How about the law? I know, they had capabilities with wealth beyond our imagination. Yet, they were Sahaba they're promised paradise. What about, like having wealth is looked at as a bad thing shouldn't be should look at it in terms of piety. Okay?

00:57:03--> 00:57:07

The name of the book? So someone's asking what's the name of the book. Just open that up here.

00:57:10--> 00:57:14

So the name of the book that we're using is the concise presentation of

00:57:15--> 00:57:28

Okay, this is what we are basically using as like a guide that, you know, helps us along through the chapters. We're not sticking to it. 100% I bring a lot of things in here and there.

00:57:31--> 00:57:36

But yeah, that's that's the name of the book. Any other questions?

00:57:41--> 00:57:43

Oh, sister Jamie's on as well.

00:57:44--> 00:58:08

And I'm going to go out to listen next week. Yeah, brothers, you can come out and listen next week all you want. In fact, brothers and sisters come and listen next week as well. Because we're going to be talking about multiple wives and how I honestly believe the mass majority of brothers are not able to fulfill this. They aren't and brothers are gonna be like us talking about how dare you say that?

00:58:09--> 00:58:40

Can you provide a house for one spouse and a house for another spouse? Can you provide equally in terms of your time? You know, the amount that you spend on each of the families, the amount of time you spend with each of the families? Are you able to juggle between these two, or three or four families? So how to love It's not easy. So don't think of it as a joke or something that's fun. A lot of brothers like to you know, joke around about this. It's not a joking matter at all, at all at all.

00:58:41--> 00:58:43

May Allah protect and help us all?

00:58:46--> 00:58:53

Okay, any other questions here? What is the best way in denying a handshake from a person of the opposite gender? Okay.

00:58:54--> 00:59:07

We have a non Muslim Of course. Okay, well, first of all, you know what, there are Muslim sisters who have stuck their hands out to shake my hand before and so we shouldn't just say Oh, it's only non Muslims that do this.

00:59:10--> 00:59:21

Something wrong. My camera today. looks super red on this one is bothering me. Here we go. Like what's wrong with you? The recordings gonna be all messed up. All right. So we shouldn't think that it's only

00:59:23--> 00:59:24

you know,

00:59:26--> 00:59:41

non Muslims that do this, there are Muslims who do stick their hand out as well. Okay. Now, what we do need to focus on is, first of all, don't judge the other person. Okay? Don't judge the other person. Secondly,

00:59:42--> 01:00:00

you know, you want to reach a point where you are comfortable enough explaining to someone I'm sorry, I can't shake your hand. for religious purposes. I can't shake your hand. All right, call us. They get offended. They may get offended at the moment, but they may think about it later on.

01:00:00--> 01:00:40

on and say, You know what? Muslims have values. Muslims have principles, Muslims, they honor their Deen their religion, their belief, they know who they are. Right. They're confident in their belief. So don't think that, you know, you know, as Muslims, we need to sort of blend in and we got to be shy and we have to, like, hide our belief. Why? Why do we have to hide our belief, you want to reach a point where you are comfortable to say to someone else who reaches out their hand, you know, to humbly decline and be like, I'm sorry, I just can't shake your hand. You know, and how the other beautiful thing with COVID is like, no one shaking hands, right? No one's really shaking hands.

01:00:40--> 01:01:14

Supposed to technically, you know. So it's like nowadays, we've gotten so accustomed to doing what our Dean has always asked us to do. But now the non Muslims are not shaking hands. They're like, Hello. Hi, how are you today? Is everything okay? And you're like, Oh, I used to do this all the time. And now you guys are doing it. And you think you're super proud and everything and all the Muslims are like men? Why could we have figured this out before? Right? So So how to love be proud of your deen be proud of your deen. Now, not everyone is at that level where they're able to actually do it. So that's what I said. You want to reach a level where you're able to point it out,

01:01:14--> 01:01:20

we're able to tell someone, I'm sorry, I can't shake your hand for religious purposes or whatever, right?

01:01:22--> 01:01:46

Just humbly carry on with the conversation. they'll stick their hand out be like, how are you doing today? I'm doing wonderful. such an amazing day today. I haven't seen you in a long time. And eventually their hand is going to go from here to there, and it's going to be a thing of the past. We focus too much on little things. We're so worried about little things that have nothing like a non Muslim.

01:01:48--> 01:02:14

For the most part, non Muslims really don't care if you shake their hand or not. They really don't care if you shake their hand or not. In fact, you don't want to shake their hand. It's usually usually not taken as an offense. They feel super ashamed. Oh, why didn't I think of that? I should have known Muslims don't shake hands with the opposite gender. I should have known that right? And hamdulillah the fact that you know we're in Canada, we have the ability to say these things. So

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sometimes we just read too much into it and make things harder for ourselves. Right? Okay.

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You have pictures in the house? does this apply to every type of picture or pictures of

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inanimate abstract objects as well? No. So pictures of beings with life gave beings with life. So you know if it's calligraphy like we were talking about the other day on Friday night, or if it's you know, abstract things like that, you know, nature and so on, but you know, stay away from from humans and animals. Unless it knows best.

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No handshake because of COVID. The other book you mentioned, was it an excessive invitation? is excessive invitation prohibited? What is the right amount of people that shouldn't be invited? Oh, what is the right amount of people that should be invited? Whatever you're able to, like look, whatever is within your means. Keep it simple, but also, you know, invite celebrate, don't go all out you know, try not to have a soft you know, waste is is waste. Okay? The bigger you go, the more you're going to spend and there's probably not a need for that in the first place. Okay.

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I don't want to know if you are in school and a boy touches your hand by mistake is that a sin? So when something happens as a mistake, or by accident, it is not a sin? Okay, it is not a sin. But if it's done intentionally then it can be sinful. Okay almost kind of Medina knows best prayer question is raising hands after compulsory No, it's a Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, okay? It's a Sunnah when you come up from report to raise your hands when you say semi I love when human hand me down. Okay? It's a sudden if you do it, you get rewarded. If you don't do it, you don't get rewarded and you don't get sinned, okay, was shaking hands, so net or cultural.

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So, it was

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it was cultural. It was also cultural during the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, but we see it being mentioned as well in the sound of the Prophet sent along to us and therefore it is also considered a Sunnah. However, however, there are some scholars who say that the handshake is not from the Sunnah of the prophet some longer it was on him and I mentioned this once in a brother in the masjid got really upset with me. I mentioned in one of our Friday night alekos here in the masjid, before

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COVID this was maybe about a year ago, and one of the brothers got so upset with me so upset with me, how dare you say that? And I was like, Wow, there are evidences and proofs and so on. And if a person considers it great, we're not talking about a matter of like athlete and belief and so on. Okay.

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The mother that Hartle young had a colloidal.

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They shook hands when they took Bayer Yes. 's actually thinking of that just now. So one of one of the things that that they would do is shake hands when taking beta when giving allegiance pledging allegiance to someone for something. I see a question written down here. Could you repeat the name of the book at the end of the session tonight? Okay, so semia here's the book. Right now. screenshots quick as you can.

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All righty.

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couple questions came up here.

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Yes, you once gave a talk at my workplace many years ago, college university Islam bomb. Oh, Allahu Akbar, Sultan, Ahmed Shah during our English week, I was the head of the department back then. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Got Rosalina. I remember 100% I actually came there some time a lot. It's amazing. That's absolutely amazing. I believe I came on that trip with my wife and mother one. I don't think Lina was born at the time. That was a nice trip. So Pamela, it was raining a lot. I remember it raining like crazy. Um, when we decide not to go to a wedding, because of how long things? What do you recommend to say to them? Why we don't go? Okay. So there's a number of things here when

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rejecting an invitation based on something that is how long that's taken place at the wedding, or for something that is not permissible is taking place at the wedding. What do you do? How do you explain that to them? First of all, I would say that you speak to the people who invited you, and let them know that you know what, give them advice. Give them a device first and say you know what, we advise you that this is something that shouldn't be done, and so on and so on. So, right, talk to them. Don't make it a huge thing. Like, I'm not coming because you're doing this and if you don't do that, then I'm then I'm only gonna come if you stopped doing this now.

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It just spoils the atmosphere for so many people. I went to a wedding

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and went to a wedding once and there was a brother. I've been to many weddings. Sadly.

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As much as it's a fun day. weddings are really not my thing. Like I said, my wife is like, Man, you're making people really know how much you don't like what? I'm just not a wedding guy. Right?

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I like talking to people about marriage, and you know, encouraging and all that it's good and great. But

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I hate it when people invite me for 6pm and no one shows up until 8pm. And the bride and groom don't show up till 10pm. And I'm sitting there at six. And everyone always tells me Don't Don't you know by now, when a wedding invitation says 6pm you'll never come at six you come at eight or nine always come three hours late. I'm like, then why on earth? Do you people keep inviting us for a specific time that we're not supposed to come from? For? I don't understand that. Invite me for the time you want me at my table. And you're going to be at your table and we are going to eat. I'm coming hungry. I'm not waiting for hours for you. You're not going to give me food. I'm going next door and

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find a Popeye's or something and go eat

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Subhana Allah, I don't like wasting. I don't like when other people waste my time. I don't like wasting time but I don't like when other people waste my time. And a lot of weddings are controlled time wasters and this culture that everyone says Oh, it's Muslim Standard Time.

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Don't get me worked up right now. Like Don't make me start like yelling at all of you on the screen. There's no such thing as Muslim standard time being late. In na sala de Cana diallel meanie Nikita mo de Sala is prescribed at a specific time and Salah happens at time throughout the day. And then we have very bad debts that are done throughout the day. And then we have Juma and we have read and we have Ramadan and we have Saba and massage. We have morning and evening. And we have all these things Allah subhana wa tada has trained us as believers to not even be a single minute lit. We are not supposed to be late. We are meant to be people of honor people of status, people of quality

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people, our values people have good morals. Good

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values, good characteristics, we are supposed to be on time you tell me six, if I'm not there at six, you have every right to be upset with me for not being there at six. And my wife is my witness. One of the things that I hate doing and she knows she's like, no one's gonna be there. Why are you rushing? I don't want to be late. If someone invited me for a time, I will be there at that time. If they're wasting my time, it's on them. It's not on me. And so weddings, a lot about one of the biggest time wasters. And that's why, that's why when people ask me, Why do you hate wedding so much? I don't hate weddings. I'm so happy that people are getting married. It's awesome. Right?

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Finally, there's other people out there that are getting married, but just don't waste people's time. And change this mentality that Muslims have, or someone invites you for six, come at nine. No.

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At nine, everyone should be gone. And the people who come at nine, Well, too bad. The food is in our bellies, and we're gone.

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Sorry, I don't know. It's just a rant. But you know what Muslims need to like, we need to grow up a little bit. We need to straighten ourselves out. We have a bad image around the world that's being put out there by by non Muslims. First of all, why is it that we ourselves are creating bad images for ourselves, and then making excuses as Muslim standard time? No, the prophets, some alone where it was send them was not late. He was not late. He would be on time. And the times that he that, and this is one thing people say but sometimes the Sahaba were waiting for him. And the Salah was meant to start. Yes. That's Tobia. That's showing how you're supposed to wait for your leader. How the

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leader is in charge and he's doing very important things. We should wait for him. Right? We should wait for him. And we should wait. in remembrance of a lot the Sahaba on the other hand when we're not sitting there chilling, arguing complaining, where's the email? Where's the shake? Where's the chef? Oh, they were busy and we're all busy. That was extra time it was that's a block of time from a lie. Like gave you this opportunity to make more do I had to do more?

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along the stack Sorry, guys.

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All right.

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Okay, blessing in disguise due to COVID we don't have to receive again a good hundred law. All right, let's see if there's anything here then. You're gonna get in trouble. It's almost 915 Oh, I'm not gonna get in trouble. If anyone wants to leave, they can leave. You don't have to stay. You don't want to listen to the rent. You don't have to.

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Let's see what your that's your Western stomach weddings are usually mixed and include dancing and music. And usually the bride and groom are sort of forced to allow it. Are these types of weddings. Okay, we already just finished mentioning throughout the entire session, what's permitted and what's not permitted? You should know by now what is and what isn't? No, obviously if those things are going on, I mentioned that no, that they're not permissible. islamically we should not be doing that what was permitted is what we mentioned. You know, the Duff is permissible if men are with men and they're dancing with the men cause no big deal if women are with women and they're dancing with the

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women, no big deal as long as the two parties are not dancing together. As for the music, nothing more than the Duff

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and your voice vocals. Okay.

01:13:39--> 01:13:52

As referring to the other book that he did briefly vocalized the psychology is Oh, the prophetic method of correcting people's mistakes, prophetic method of correcting people's mistakes. Okay.

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I've shown that before but inshallah Okay, that's the end of today's session. We went on for an hour and 15 minutes. How to love YouTube. Sorry, Instagram allows us to do that. Just like a level higher on

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about a calligraphy con. Sister subway, you just came on and we're leaving home that Allah so nice to see as I said about a lot about a kick.

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May Allah Subhana Allah bless all of you, those of you who are not married to me last prenowitz aliquot Baraka in your lives and allow you to get married. To someone who's pious and righteous and good for you who's respectful of you and respectful of last panel return and his Deen We ask Allah subhana wa to Allah to bless all those who are married and put more love and Baraka and blessings in their marriage and make their spouses melt when they see each other. Right. Make the spouses melt when they see each other and they are late like chocolate melting in your hand on a hot day. Right

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now lots of how to Allah bless all of you with the best of this life and the best of the year.

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After I mean just succumb a level Hayden robotica level FICO was someone Lavoie senemo about a gallon Amina Mohammed wanna only give us a limb or cenomar aleikum wa rahmatullah wa he or about our cattle just open a lot of hate on for letting me begin my weekend. Send me

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the most such thing as a weekend I got work to do tomorrow as well.

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I do work on my days off