Channel: Daood Butt
Friday Jumuah Khutbah – November 25, 2022
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My brothers and sisters, today we discuss a topic
that really we shouldn't have to be discussing. But it needs to be discussed. I went for a walk this morning after a job. And as I was walking, something caught my attention that sparked a thought in my mind. I started to notice all the license plates of people's cars that were personalized. I saw Disney dad, I saw G Costanza, I saw Rheas I saw a bunch of different license plates that were personalized.
And as I was walking and noticing all these personalized license plates, I was looking at the houses. And I recently just came back from a trip abroad to Europe. And I was looking at our homes. beautifully decorated. Even though Winter's coming. The grass and lawn is cut nicely. And we have decorations on the outside. Homes look neat. Everything is proper. It's a beautiful life. How could it not?
And then I thought to myself, is it only beautiful on the outside? The impression that we give to the world? Is it only an image that we hold on the outside of our homes? The personalized license plates like all this is the most awesome father he must take his children to Disneyland all the time Disney dad,
right superstar that father is superstar he's driving around letting everyone know he's a superstar dad. Is that really who we are inside of our homes? Or is it just an image that we pretend to be when we leave our homes, that we're showing the world that this is who I really am. But the reality is, is that there's something totally different happening on the inside. So today we need to talk about domestic violence. It is very sad to know that someone within our community was taken by their own spouse. Now of course we leave everything up to the authorities to investigate. And we don't make any assumptions. We don't try to come to any conclusions and we leave justice to Allah subhanho
But there is a problem in our community. And we need to stop pretending that it doesn't exist. I do know and I am fully aware that there are children with us today, more children than usual. It's a PD day children are off from school.
But the topic of domestic violence is one that affects our children as well. And so I'm still going to carry on with the topic.
My brothers and sisters to begin with, as believers in Allah subhanho wa Taala we have a responsibility. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam mentioned in his last sermon
when he was standing in our file, and he addressed the believers in the 1000s. He let us know not them, us, all of us, them included. He let us know that the blood of a believer is sacred meaning every single person who claims and states and affirms that they believe in Allah subhanahu wa Tada.
We have a responsibility as believers to look after them.
We have to make sure that we don't harm them. To the point that even if you're giving your brother or your sister a hug, and you pat them on the back, but you feel like you patted them too hard on the back, you should apologize. You know, sometimes we're so happy to see someone. I saw a brother the other day, and I was so happy for his help and his hard work and dedication towards helping the family. And I gave him a hug and I patted him really hard on the back. And I remembered that almost a year ago. He told me he was having issues with his back. And I apologize. That's the believer. Who remembers that the person I'm with also believes in Allah subhana wa Jahad. I sit side by side
shoulder to shoulder with them in the rows, we stand facing the fibula worshipping Allah subhanaw taala. Together, and as a family, we do the exact same thing.
Also, with regards to the believer, Allah Subhana Allah says in the Quran Surah Al Anon verse number 151. One,
Neff seletti, how long Allah subhanaw taala makes it very clear.
Don't take the soul of another believer that believes in Allah subhanho wa taala.
It's haram. It's not permissible. And in fact, when we look at arguments that may happen amongst believers,
we're not even allowed to say you're not a believer. If that person is a Muslim and prays and you know, is known to be a Muslim, and two Muslims are arguing, and one of the two Muslims says you're not even a believer and says to that person, you're not a believer, you're a Catholic. One of those two people is not a believer,
either the one who it's being said about or the one who's saying it.
So as a believer, we have so much responsibility to look after each other. In addition to this, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says,
and Muslim men send him and Muslim on them in the Saudi UAE.
is the one who other Muslims are safe and protected. Mindy Sandy, he from their words, weigh a day and from physical action.
Now what's even worse is when that abuse is towards our own family, towards our own children, towards our own spouse, towards our own siblings.
My brothers and sisters, we need to stop pretending, thinking oh, this doesn't exist. It was an isolated case. It's not an isolated case.
This has happened within Muslim families before in North America. It's not the first time
but we need to stop acting as though it's normal. It's okay. And I'm really going to address the men here today. The men the brothers, the fathers, the adults, the husbands.
My brothers, it's time to stop.
Culture might dictate that it's okay.
Do you know how many sisters that have come into my office and they told me in our culture it's okay for the husband to slap the wife a little bit It's okay. No it's not okay. It's not okay first of all, from our from the angle of the deen not the country we live in first we look at our deen our deen tells us our belief is showing us and Allah subhanaw taala that we are not allowed to do this.
I'm not allowed to even leave the most minut mark on the body of another believer
I cannot harm them in that way. And this doesn't only apply to the believer with the believer, this applies to the believer with the non believer as well. When there's no need to defend yourself, then why are you harming someone else?
And so my brothers and sisters, step one, a Muslim man Send Email Muslim on me, listen, he was ready. We need to be careful with the way that we speak and the way that we behave with one another. And culture might dictate or culture might show or you know, express that Oh, it's okay. No, it's not. It's not okay. We're believers in Allah subhana wa Tada, when a husband marries his wife, he takes an oath by ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada that he's going to look after her.
He's taking that responsibility from her father, that I will provide for her, I will look after her, I will give her safety, I will give her shelter, I will give her food, I will give her clothing, I will give her education, I will give her transportation, I will give her children and I will help with the children and I will provide and do everything that is needed. And I know as men, sometimes we say it's too much on our shoulders. Well, that's the responsibility that we have. If we were not able to do it, Allah would not have given it to us.
So we're able to do it. The problem is, are we doing it right?
I want to share with you some examples, because some of you might think, Oh, it's a one off doubt this doesn't exist. And I want to share these examples with you.
They are examples of people who have come into my office sisters who have come into my office not mentioning any names, not mentioning any stories, chances are the people I'm referring to are not even here because these are older cases that I've taken intentionally. Just to show you the extent of how sisters come in sometimes to the house of Allah subhanho wa Taala seeking help seeking hope, and we know very well the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in a school bethey were his knee in Allah right? Yeah, well, I like his setup. He says that he cries out to Allah Subhana Allah to Allah He turns to Allah for help.
We see that our sisters sometimes are going through so much they turn to Allah subhana wa Tada for help they come to the masjid is the only place they know to go to.
So as an example, I have sisters who come into my office sometimes with black eyes bruise they were punched, they were hit by their husband.
I have sisters who come in with bruised arms, bruised legs, bruise backs, bruise hair, sorry, their hair pulled out. hair pulled out bleeding from their scalp.
Why husband grabs her by the hair drags her out onto the streets and I know your children are here. Some of these children might be experiencing it themselves within their homes. And this is why we're talking about it so that these children can be the ones who get their parents help.
Hair being grabbed, dragged out onto the street beaten in front of their homes. No shame as a Muslim family neighbors are watching no shame. It's okay. It's fine. No, it's not.
In addition to that, my brothers and sisters, sisters coming in beaten like you wouldn't believe. fractured jaw, fractured jaw. I have a sister who comes in when she's talking. She can't even pronounce words properly to me because she was hit so hard. Her jaw doesn't allow her mouth to close properly and half of her melted sort of numb there's nerve damage.
I have another sister who came in fractured spinal discs. The discs in her spine fractured another sister pushed down from the second floor of the house all the way down the stairs, pushed down the stairs.
Why? Why is this happening? Why are we doing this? Why are we behaving in this manner. Sisters are so traumatized by what's going on within their homes. They can't even stay within their homes anymore. They can't sleep at night they take pills to go to sleep at night because they're so traumatized with what happens within their homes.
And so the second part of this football insha Allah to Allah we're going to talk about help, how we can get the help that we need, and how we can help those who are around us that may need help and recognize the signs of help that are on our friends and family that we may have never paid attention to before. A Buddha probably had our stock federal bond or still federal in our one of our phone line.
hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen
And without data to live with Janine. On Sunday, well, Sunday more LNB Hill, Karim Ali are full of solder to attempt to sleep a mother and my brothers and sisters.
Sometimes the people who are closest to us are going through problems, and we don't recognize it. We don't notice it. Or we may notice a change in their behavior. But we don't know what to do. We don't know how to address it, we don't know how to talk to them about it, we don't even know where to go to get help. And so the first thing that we should be looking for three things, there might be physical abuse that you notice that's happening on someone. And a lot of the time sisters will cover up that physical abuse with makeup. So if you notice a sister who's a friend of yours, and this is for our sisters in particular, or maybe your own sibling, a sister, you know, your your brother in
law might be abusing them.
She never wore makeup before, but all of a sudden she starts wearing lots of makeup, that could be a sign that something isn't right.
I know to you, you're sitting there going, okay, great. No, that could really be a sign that something isn't right, that could lead to someone's life being taken away, not by someone else, but also by the person who's going through it themselves. Suicide, my brothers and sisters is a reality that our own Muslim community is facing as well. Just a couple of years ago, a sister who was here at Jumeirah the following week committed suicide. She was here with us. She committed suicide, she had two young children.
This is a reality that we are going through. And we need to recognize signs of help that is needed. So those are signs of abuse, so that we can get the help. That's neat. So first off, look for physical abuse, and things that might cover up that physical abuse, wearing long clothing, not wanting to show their arms not wanting to expose themselves in front of all these people that are more harm to themselves. In addition to that, so psychological abuse, if you hear your friend constantly putting his wife down,
constantly talking down to her constantly, you know, making her seem as though she's irrelevant to not important and putting her down, then that's a sign of abuse as well. That's psychological abuse.
And that can lead to another problem. Also, in addition to that, social isolation, you might have a friend who you always would meet, but now you never see them. They never come to gatherings, they never join you for AIDS, they don't, you know, invitations go out to them. They never show up.
Social isolation, they feel as though my life is so terrible. If people found out what was going on, they would never want to be my friend, people will abandon me or they fear that someone will do something. And then they might live in poverty, which is a reality that we face as well.
You know, subhanAllah the other night when the incident happened, I was on my way home from the police station. And I was listening to the radio.
And I never really turn on the radio. But this day I turned on the radio at night. They were talking about how the majority 90% of women who are abused, physically abused or violently abused at home domestic violence. 90% of them will not do anything about it because they fear poverty.
They fear that if they call it in their husband will be arrested. And then how will they pay the bills? Where will they go? What will they do? How will they feed their children. And this is an even bigger problem in our Muslim community. Why? Because many of our sisters are stay at home mothers. We have 234-567-8910 11 children.
The wife doesn't go to work, she stays home to look after the children to raise the children. And so there are things that we need to focus on. And we really need to take a step back and analyze our circle of friends, analyze our personal lives and yourselves as children who are sitting here today if you need help you reach out for the help. There are Muslim brothers sitting right next to you today that will help you there are other sources that we can go to for help that I'll mention right now in shot along to head first off for our community at large youth
or anyone brothers or sisters nisi
we have a helpline that is dedicated specifically to helping us as Muslims. And I know that many Muslims like I was with the police the other day they were asking me why is it that Muslims don't usually get help when they need help? Many of us may have come from a country where there is no such thing as a helpline. So we don't know that there's a helpline available to call
When we need help, and then there's this fear of when I call the helpline, what will happen?
And then another fear, who am I talking to? Is it going to be confidential and hamdulillah these organizations have taken steps to make sure that all of the professional steps that are needed to be put in place are respected.
And so reach out and let's see how helpline if anyone needs. There's also Nissan homes and Nyssa helpline as well for our sisters. Nissan homes is a shelter and he sister is going through issues and problems. There's Nisa homes, their Sakina homes,
visit their websites if you need don't feel as though you're alone the community will help you. I was recently in a meeting and I had about 50 police officers in there I was I was teaching a workshop. And one of the officers told me we've only had one case where the Muslim family could not pay it was a Muslim woman who embraced Islam and had no Muslim family she passed away and there was no one to pay for Janessa she says other other than that, we find that the Muslim community always looks after each other. You're like a big family and that's exactly it. We are a big family but we shouldn't turn a blind eye and just say oh you know brothers on so he hits his wife It's okay now
make dua you know, what happens if we call the police is going to be a problem? No. If we call the police, we will look after the family.
We will take care of the children.
Does anyone here think that the children this week that lost their mother will be abandoned? Absolutely not. There it is. Their provisions comes from ALLAH SubhanA wa Jahad. It will not be lost. Allah will continue to provide for them Allah will continue to look after them. How many children lose their parents in Palestine? How many children lose their parents in Syria? How many children around the world in multiple different regions and countries have lost their parents and they survive and they do great things.
Don't fear poverty, not for yourself and not for anyone else? Allah is Allah. Allah will provide. And lastly, my brothers and sisters.
Remember the family in their door in your door out and remember our community in your door out and be brief. Be brave. It's hard at times. It's hard. I know. I sometimes accompany sisters to the police station. I sometimes have to make calls myself. It's not easy, but you have to do it. You have to do it because someone's life is important. And the blood of a believer is sacred.
Along with Saudi Arabia Mohammed Mohammed Ali Mohammed Kemosabe Tara Ibrahim and the accordion indica Hamid Majeed abetik Allah Muhammad wa ala Ali Muhammad Allah Tada Irani Miranda Ali Ibrahim Majeed along with Finland our home now as of now we have a lot Motor Company Minara Merlin Asante. Hey, yeah, come on. along, please have mercy upon the family of our sister was taken from us this week, lock scepter into the highest levels of paradise and make her from amongst those who are Shahada. Let's start with the status of being a shahid Allah, please have mercy on her children, raise them in the best manner. Take care of them, with the people of this world and the angels that
you sent to protect them and look after them. From the time that they experienced the hardships that they're going through until the time that they returned back to you. Love please make it easy for us to be the community that helps one another. Love please open our hearts towards goodness and higher and bless us with baraka and risk and love Farah and forgiveness Allah make us from amongst those that help one another. Yeah, well allow us to be kind and gentle with our wife and our children, our mothers and our sisters. You know, a lot of make it easy for us to realize and recognize that we are not above anyone else and we are not superior for you are the one who raises people in status and
you are the one who debases people in status. Yeah, well please make it easy for all those that are going through some sort of hardship. One of the young girls in our community, that Daughter and Brother He has, she is not well make dua for her. Yeah, well Please bless her with goodness and height and Baraka, Allah grants her she fought grant her health and strength and allow her to recover for the meaning out of it. I mean, in the law, how are we likely well yes and why it is important that we inherently fracture in one one hurry verbally.
According to the Quran, was a lot of work on whether we are surgical as well as include walking along the animal Mantis nairaland penis Hello, my brothers and sisters. If you can, please try to move forward and fill up any spaces in front of you. Does that
We should look at