Womanhood Under Attack

Calisha Bennett


Channel: Calisha Bennett

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AI: Summary © The speakers emphasize the pervasive " acknowledge" feeling that women face and the importance of protecting their faith and soul during a crisis, including the loss of their children and the negative impact on their relationships. They also discuss the pervasive " acknowledge" feeling that women face and the importance of embracing the challenges of divorce, highlighting the negative impact on their health and social circle. The speakers emphasize the need to stay on the straight path and not let anyone's influence affect their personal and professional lives.
AI: Transcript ©
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All the bIllahi min ash shaytani R rajim Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem in Alhamdulillah Hina Hamada who wanna start you know who wanna start federal. When are all the villa Himanshu Rory and fusina Amin say Dr. Molina Mejia de la Ferla mobile illallah wa mejor little fella heard yella eyeshadow hola Illa Illa who the whole luxury color wash shadow Anna Mohammed Abdullah who are solo rubbish roughly Saudi Arabia silly Emery Warlock data Melissa Ania konkola verily all praises due to Allah. We praise Him we seek His help and we seek his forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allah from the evil within ourselves and the evil consequences of our evil actions. Whoever Allah subhanaw taala guides

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none can we Skype and whoever is led astray man can go by bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah, he's alone and has no partner. Another witness that Muhammad peace be upon him is his slave and messenger. Salam o aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. To our dear sisters in attendance today, as well as those who couldn't make it, but are tuning in online and Hamza de la, sol. Well, welcome.

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So welcome to the topic of woman would under attack, I was reflecting last night and I thought I have learned in the past, it's not good to give titles with negative connotations. I was like it's too late.

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So a woman who would under attack, I guess it's provocative. It's gotten people to a guess pick up their ears. And really question is womanhood, really under attack. Maybe some of you are here, because you feel like it is or your concern that it might be, or maybe you disagree. And that's okay, too. I'm open to all perspectives. And I'm just sitting here today, as your sister in Islam, with no specialized academic qualification to talk on womanhood, or feminism or the status of women in history and modern society, etc. But I'm here to put forward some thoughts and suggestions, some ideas to coin, some arrows at different things. What you take from it will be up to you, and your

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process of thinking and your spiritual journey, you might have something to contribute as well today. So I do want it to be somewhat engaging, I don't want it to be too flat with me blabbering on.

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But I will if I have to. But I do like it to be somewhat engaging. And I've tried to plan it out so that we have points where I can ask you a question, and you can formulate your own thoughts. And this is something that's very

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important in our journey. In life now, especially silicom, Salam system, welcome, as Muslim women, every Muslim really needs to be able to

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engage intellectually and spiritually, with, where they're at, and where the worlds are, and what their

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journey is towards their purpose in life, and really formulate their own thoughts and perspectives on things. You have to sort through everything that comes your way in life of influence of people of education, of your own internal struggles. And you've got to take stances, and you've got to make decisions. And as women, you have to lead your household, the little ones around you towards a path of goodness and righteousness as much as possible. You can't do that unless you've formulated your own perspectives and opinions on things. And you know, very clearly what's going on around you, and what you're meant to do about it, that you're able to morally spiritually navigate in the best way

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possible, and that you have the tools, you're equipped with the tools that you can use in order to do that. A lot of people now, unfortunately, would just follow the masses. And you might be like, No, I don't like, you know, following society. I'm my own person, but you have to look in your

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social circles, your religious circles, do you still also just blindly follow and one of the members of your group, she might have an opinion on things and the majority agree with that, but you have a different opinion? Do you have the guts to speak out against that? And say, but I don't agree, do you have the guts to challenge that might be an entire congregation that takes a moral stance on something and you're like, I don't think that's right. And you have your reasons and your basis for it.

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And we have to understand I'm reading a book at the moment called collective illusion by tall collective illusions by Todd Rose. And I'm only in the introduction part, but he just

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I guess, reminding me of how strong the pool is to belong.

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The pool to belong and not be Outcast is actually something very like primitive in us. Okay, because back when we

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lived in tribes, if you were outcast by the tribe, you likely die out there. So you would conform and get in line in order to be protected by the group by the majority. Once upon a time these tribes were governed spiritually and morally, by their own very

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strongly founded beliefs. Okay? What we have now? We have wider society versus our religious tribes, right? Why does society saying everyone be this as much the same as possible, which is

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liberal, free. And you do and choose and be as you want, as you wish, whatever you want, that's what goes. Whereas our religion pulls us in at every corner, at every facet, says get yourself in line don't exceed we have limits to everything, and guidelines for everything internal and external, not just what to do externally as a living Muslim, but also how to be internally. What attitudes should you carry? What opinions should you have? And what stances should you take on things, our religion teaches and guides every facet of the human being? What we have now when we look at women who are under attack, we could just say, well, religion under attack Muslims under it could be titled A lot

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of different things, really, we're just looking at the female aspect of it. We're being, you know, told not to go inward in, you know, into our innate identity, which we know as Muslims is the fifth time connection to Allah subhanaw taala. So, you know, I guess it's combative terminology I've used for the title, but we are in a battle. And it's a battle of the souls and the destination, the eternal destination of our souls and that of our families and community. And that's what's at stake. And we really have to question whether we're going to follow the example and the lead and the way of a godless society that worships self or we're going to go inward into the protection of our religion

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where we put God and submission to Him at the forefront of our lives in every way that we can show off. So very quickly, let me ask what made you decide to come today? What was it about the topic or is it you normally come to every lady's team talk? Anyone want to share their reason for coming?

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She raised her hand and I stalk you. That's very flattering Ellie.

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Liko Salam, SR hasna women worked so hard in this country they make women work so hard in this country Yeah, yeah. And I feel like I've got previously in like the ideas no knees or 70s men were under attack men were under attack and now it's in this country so women under tuck interesting yeah, perhaps they will see what we discussed today inshallah anyone else at leadership

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says it's like that

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all right anybody else yeah

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I'm gonna have them actually join

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the tribe

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and so the age of

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and everything all the pain

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occurs within that justify

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another one that

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I had a couple of days

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I had to draw I have to navigate to Thailand

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to do you be when all you've ever been as what others have wanted you to be yes exactly. Who am I now who am I now and then I have this desires as well. Because

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society you can do as you please if you so choose. Yeah. So

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yeah. Yeah. Anger.

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Thank you for sharing.

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I think one of the reasons

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one of the main reasons

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doctors in

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essence obtain

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we have found things

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you can do.

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And it's kind of mixing in with the social standards of what should be.

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I think you know what?

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Yeah, yeah, we have

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we have an element of ideological attack. It's, it's, it's very pervasive. And some say it's really subtle, but it's actually really apparent now. Where it's,

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you know, attacking the essence of what Islamic womanhood looks like, which is hopefully what we'll discuss a little bit today. But

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it's very pervasive. And it makes you question and challenge the things women to identify with, and submit to. Because when the majority are telling you, and making you feel like you're dumb, or making you feel like you're less than, or you're ignorant, somehow, because you're not adopting their way of so called freedom and liberation and liberalism.

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It doesn't make you go inside and question. And again, when the majority are leaning towards one direction, and you socially are challenged, because of it, it can really shake your foundation. So this is why it's really important to that. Yeah, I was having a conversation.

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About like, how, as a woman, yeah.

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And she wasn't, like, happy about it. I was saying it, you know, but she was like,

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we have to Yeah, we have some sound we've been conditioned to. And we've been conditioned, using the foundational elements of just language, we get a funny feeling when we hear the word obey. You have to obey your husband, we obey our boss, we obey our teacher, we obey the law, once it's applied to you have to obey your husband, we get a little icky, right? Oh,

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this is the language of it. You feel weird? And if you said it to other people socially, I have to obey my husband

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to love and obey

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my husband.

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Yeah. So there are some words that were a little bit icky. But we have to challenge again, like the language has even been weaponized. We have to really understand that we have to redefine what a lot of words mean to us, and protect like our right to apply it in our own way. Even if people don't understand it. And people will just think, you know, you're backward, you're archaic, but you have to actually be proud of the hierarchy that our religion provides. Or even the word patriarchy. Islam is actually a patriarchal like way religion in terms of there is an order and hierarchy of governance, caretaking protection and provision Okay, and if you don't have an ever have a hierarchy

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actually have chaos. And if you have too many rulers in a kingdom, you have civil war, there'll be war and that's what's happening a lot now in terms of our homes and societies and communities like why is it so unsuccessful if the model that's been presented us is so successful, why is it not shown? Why is it not demonstrated? Stability well being? wholesomeness, productivity contribution of these the fruits of of what we're being called to as an alternative way? So again, we just have to have questioning minds and chatter challenge the status quo. Anyone else want to share where they came

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certainly appealing to the traditions

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it's like that

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like energy healing and things like that, yeah. So like we're there and

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just made me realize like, I've got to get

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So that sort of thing.

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Two, was any son of two

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sisters and see what it's about but I have too much. And

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sort of like patient

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Correct. And that is

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it's coming from

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influencers, customers who trust

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and they

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are strong enough

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be actually willing to

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sell soon. So

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scary to see what's out there and certain people that have huge problems

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Yeah, I just don't understand how they have that

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to keep

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in mind

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that a picture

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yeah, I just thought for myself,

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I know this is kind of a this is not private

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I got

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to share my experience

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interesting. spread the message is

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just the

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sum of features and

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it's just, it is compounded by some.

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Like you're always saying.

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Yeah, so it's a it is an unfortunate thing in terms of what we as Muslims, existing Muslims, do, we have the Ark of Islam, and the teachings that are contained within that. And then we have the outside world and what it has to offer in terms of healing, identity, wellbeing models, so on and so forth therapies and all that, if we haven't explored what we have within our App of safety with God and His messenger. And we step outside that before we even have that foundation, we are at risk of blowing away in the wind, in terms of our spirituality, because you can get whisked whisked away. In some of this stuff. Some of it is science based, some of it is woowoo based, some of it is just

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pure, feel good, and you will possibly feel really good in some spaces and feel like I had a release. And, you know, I've witnessed, I've seen a lot of this stuff

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within our community and outside of our community. My question and my issue with it is, do we not? Do it before doing that? Do we have enough knowledge and understanding of the healing and the frameworks that we have within our religion first, before we step outside that, and I'm going to, I'm going to suggest 99% of the time people have not exhausted what our religion contains. Maybe that where you've learned hasn't been able to satiate you. Maybe it was that school, maybe it was that book that wasn't enough you you cannot leave a stone unturned in terms of your healing and spiritual and well being journey and your answers for life and your strategy for life in your

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direction in life. You've got to look into the religion for that Do you not trust that God and His Messenger have a roadmap for you? That is sufficient?

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I think not enough of us trust that. Or maybe we've been hurt, harmed or burned. There's very little people that I know who haven't been burned in some way by community or by a you know, poor teacher, or just had some altercations with some religious people and it just, you know, it really hurt them. You don't define the whole religion and the whole system because of the individuals that might you might meet in a system. So can I just say

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and she's

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she's now at she'd have to learn

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to learn and validation way that other way, and then it just slowly

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and then

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just related to the divorce, and she's now

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your children

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It's a very slippery slope.

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It's a very slippery slope, you know should give us all goose bumps like this guidance is just one wrong step away for all of us. Not none of us are guaranteed paradise, no guidance at our last breath, you don't know where you could end up tomorrow, or in 10 years time. But you know that when you face the direction if you know compass points, one degree to the left or the right, you'll be at a totally different destination than where you aim. And the Prophet said in a hadith he said, he drew a line in the sand. And he drew branches off that line. He said, this path, the straight line is my straight path. If you follow it, you're not going straight. These diverging paths, misguiding

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paths and at the head of every path is the devil.

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Okay. Shavon doesn't want us to succeed. He doesn't want us to go to paradise. He wants us all to be doomed and damned to hell with him. Why? Because he hates mankind hates us with the hatred that we cannot put words to his envious of us as the creation made from clay because he thinks he's better.

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Well, aka sim industry, and we shouldn't fear him, that he is laying tricks and traps all around you all the time, even when you're sleeping, He doesn't sleep. He's plotting and planning how can I lead this person astray? Who can I put in their past? What idea can I put what can I put in their newsfeed that they read and then it takes them off the path.

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And so the prophets reminder to stay on the straight path is staying to knowledge the staying to true scholars, it's staying with good people. And keeping yourself on track yourself. Can't have anyone babying you and coddling you and holding your hand you've got to have that backbone because you're leading your children,

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either to guidance or astray. And we will have people in our networks with these, like devastating stories where someone leaves Islam almost or, or maybe they do and then their children come with them. And it's devastating. We don't want that for anyone, especially ourselves. So we have to navigate very, very carefully. And we're told throughout the Quran all the time, what to watch out for, what the dangers are, what the tricks are, what the traps are, where salvation lies, where guidance lies, it's all in our religious tradition. And it isn't just an external journey. And this is something I always emphasize, when I'm talking with sisters, it's not just your hijab and your

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prayer and know your deeds and the external element. It's your internal state that has to evolve and transform along with the outer. And they should be you know, externally, you grow a little bit and then you got to internally make sure you're shaping yourself up. Otherwise, you end up with this massive divide, either inside hasn't been purified and isn't truly Islamic. And then the outside looks the part and that's the just make they make a mess in the community. Or it's the other way around with someone who's so much a lot beautiful on the inside. But then they haven't gotten to the stage where it can externally manifest they don't have that bravery and courage yet. So you've got

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to kind of like pull yourself up a little bits like one step at a time, you have two legs, right? In order to move forward, you can't hop, right, you've got to take one step one step one step one step. And that takes a lot of work and effort and training. I'm just going to read what the sisters online said once that the family is under attack. And the other sister said femininity is definitely under a tech society's forcing us to be more and more in our masculine and not realizing the beauty of what it means to be a woman and the honor that Allah has given us. having these conversations is crucial to

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your contribution ladies. All right, so today we're going to be looking at the ideals of womanhood. Some examples from the Quran and the Sunnah, a lot of Quranic examples, what it means to be a woman and all the different models that we have of women in different situations and predicaments sources of influence that we have in our lives, I'm going to introduce you to a concept called Idea pathogens, or they're also called parasitic ideas. You know, when you get a virus you exposed to a germ and then once it's ingested in your body, it reproduces, and then you fall sick, right, you get the symptoms. So nowadays, we have idea pathogens, it's a war of ideas. There are ideas everywhere.

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Everyone has an idea. Everyone has a suggestion, everyone has an opinion. Here's what's wrong with you. Here's what's wrong with that person. Here's what you need to do. here's this, here's that if it isn't based in the chain of godliness, the chain of the Prophet prophetic tradition or of the Quran, divinely revealed Quran, then it should always have a question mark on it. Whether you spent four years studying at university, or whether it's a an expert or a PhD person who's taught it to you or written a book, everything with a question mark everything through a filter.

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Otherwise, ideas get planted, and then they start to fester and grow. And then you could end up becoming someone who's propagating ideas that misguide others may Allah protect us and that is terrifying. That is terrifying. Well

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Also look at the different forms of attack and the role of women in Islamic society. I don't know if we're going to cover at all I've just read to you the contents of that talk today and I've got seven more pages so I think really, I've just got a lot of different points that I'm going to draw from but see just having the conversation is shallow so clicky

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so, probably just touched on things and it'll be more of a stimulating discussion and taking a few points and I'll be reading a few interesting quotes as well to kind of back up some of the some of the concerns that I have. So on your pet on your paper there though, we've got your first image this is for us to just brainstorm mindmap at least like where's my paper earlier

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like reaching

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all right.

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So we've got the definition of womanhood that we want to address on your first image is this beautiful quaintly feminine beautiful woman mashallah

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so I want you guys to write and do this with your royal who's at your table or in pairs okay, because that way it's a bit more engaging or anyone online you guys can write it or you can pop it in the chat box. What is the definition of of womanhood? According to the non Muslim ideal? Okay, so here's our lovely non Muslim lady, but what's her ideas about what is womanhood or what is a woman so write some words around it and discuss with the people next year

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so throw them down as words a little phrases really quick right as you guys speak

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so give some suggestions a woman who does say she's got to speak classy or fashionable or

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she's got to beautify herself or she should be ambitious she should be fiery and feisty perhaps

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you're not focusing on

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could be positive or negative just putting yourself in a position of a normal Simone what she How would she define womanhood in current times?

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All right, let's throw out some of these words and share so if here's one you agree with that someone else shares you can note it down on your paper too.

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All right, sisters. I'm gonna share second row

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while she's trying to be sexy

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way to very much

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In my words, first there was an independent

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professional team, I think a degree like Moscow Musqueam.

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Yep. Any other words? Okay. I'll say

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Bill Nye actually

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Half Naked social media influencer is the goal to change

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the mind has to be dominant dominant okay

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you know

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Okay, so yeah there's someone said provocative that's probably the word provocative in her mannerism.

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Same as a man

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Yep, same as a man. Interesting. Yeah.

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multiple roles you said so she's got to be a provider and a caretaker. Yeah.

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Yeah, I was reading about that. I'll share a little bit about that. So she felt tired just reading it reflecting.

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I was used to work juggling, juggling, juggling juggling job. Yeah. Yep. Any others? Like competing in terms of like, competitive materialistic? Like, who's got the whom?

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Okay, well, first of all my feedback for you all as you're very judgy bunch

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I tried to introduce her as a nice lady presser and have a good opinion of it.

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Okay, so it's interesting. So there are some

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there are some words that are neutral more, I guess neutral and positive. But a lot of it was very intense. She's liberated independent, educated, autonomous, ambitious, sensual, attractive, sexy, free, provocative entitled strong boss fame. influence a dominant body language multiple roles same as a man competitive materialistic.

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So while you guys wrote that down is probably what you realize is being fed to us of what being a woman in the current age means. So we see that and everyone we're all kind of like, Oh, she's this she's that right? But we are influenced by it. Whether we realize it or not, you've got to look at each of those words and think When have I ever time tried to emulate that or put on myself that I should be like that or someone around me made me feel perhaps or treated me in a way that I need to be one of these in order to be a successful woman according to modern terms. Now think about these IDs and messages being fed through media at school mainstream university or from primary school away

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from cartoons to our little girls. This is who and how she needs to be. So now what we need to do is we need to contrast it

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to our actual state now. So this beautiful hijab is star fashionista she's she's beautiful

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Okay, so this is us now and this is going to be tricky because to be honest, I don't want you to write the Islamic ideal

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or you to write down what we are now in terms of like diagnose our state and condition where are we now we call between both worlds are very, very traditional. Or we supermodel so on this This Is Us All right, this is off now. Okay, so where we're at

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between both worlds.

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You reckon call between both worlds is the hustler Yeah. Alright, so write down words what what is womanhood? For us here and now? It might be keyword confusion like we just don't really know what are we

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honestly, maybe it has to be more judgmental on this or no, I'm scared of this crap

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oh, you actually have a lot to say

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this is a diagnosis of air conditioner could be personally just you where you're at or you could run it as a generally correct one side general one side where you're at up to you

00:34:10--> 00:34:24

alright, so Cemre says some households a woman is the breadwinner. So that's probably another one too, like, awesome. She's the breadwinner. She said we're insanely strong. And we're maybe forced to be insanely strong as well because we have to be at all

00:34:25--> 00:34:31

multiple roles. many single women. So many single women single mothers Yeah.

00:35:00--> 00:35:02

Okay, anyone needs water?

00:35:06--> 00:35:12

Anybody wants a bottle of water? Are you cold? I'm seeing a cold. Are you Okay?

00:35:17--> 00:35:17

Anybody else?

00:35:36--> 00:36:19

Gonna talk before we share our answers and talk about the concept of, of judgments, right? The quotations we hear in mainstream or amongst, you know, in social groups you like you can't judge anyone, don't be judgmental is an element of that that is true. And there's an element of that that's wrong, or good and wrong in it. We don't judge the insides of someone unless we had a direct experience with their darkness candidate and you've seen just absolute sinister ism, the average person will make a mistake, they will be faulty, they might be heedless, they might have poor judgment, right? Their insides between them and Allah on that that's we don't touch that for any

00:36:19--> 00:36:23

person. Right? And this is a pure like, satanist or something, right?

00:36:25--> 00:36:45

But when it comes to actually judging what you see, and deciding your stance on that, you actually have to do that. You have an obligation. And we know we do it automatically. We don't automatically you see, and you create judgment, anything your eyes touch anything you really you create judgments on it, whether it's true, right wrong with you like or

00:36:46--> 00:36:47


00:36:49--> 00:36:53

And you have to formulate an opinion on it. Why?

00:36:57--> 00:37:07

Yeah, you have to have personal one, which means like thinking well of another person, but you also have to know looking at stuff creates more negative judgment and negative thought about others stop looking.

00:37:09--> 00:37:22

What's the to you what she's doing and wearing anyway? What should you if it's just making you more negatively, like judgmental? It's like junk food? Why keep eating the chips? That's enough chips, right? You're like, I'm just kidding. Like fat with judgment.

00:37:23--> 00:37:58

You keep eating the chips you're exposing so that you actually dirtying yourself, and we're talking about this all the time, the gays is the fastest way to impact your heart. You want to clean heart stop looking at what doesn't concern you. You don't need to follow everyone and beak and keep up with the Joneses. But we do have to have an element of judgment in us where we have to decide do I want to be like that? Is that the best way? You're you're judging in order to fix yourself, not to decide where they are on the scale of religiosity or where they are with God because you can't touch that and you don't see that you don't know, the sincerity of someone's heart might be a prostitute

00:37:58--> 00:38:23

in the street or her relationship with Allah is cleaner, then then you and she's doing what she's doing for reasons unbeknown to you. Okay. And there was this one beautiful instance, I'll just mentioned just came to mind anyway, and then gave charity to a prostitute. So he had some money gave charity to a prostitute, a thief and someone else and the people were judging him. How could you give them money, their filth.

00:38:24--> 00:38:33

And he goes, may Allah accept you have nothing to say. But when it came down to the situation, the thief didn't steal for a night and the prostitute didn't prostitute for a night.

00:38:34--> 00:39:12

Because he gave money to the scum everyone looks down on. Don't give my A's probably a drug dealer and alcoholics no one's business and it's not even your business. You have just a responsibility. The person's hand is out. I give I don't ask questions. Okay, so the C had judgment is a you there's a given take. You even have to use judgment properly. Judge your judgment that you go, right? That's I'll take Geron judgment, okay. And Amara de la han, he said, Hold yourself to account before you're held to account, you should be the harshest in judgment on your own self. Because the field you see in others is actually a reflection of the fields in your own heart, okay, that you're trying to

00:39:12--> 00:39:26

escape from. So you still love another person, you love guidance for them, even when they're doing the wrong thing. If you don't, anything, you try to advise them with the way that you deal with them, you're actually going to cause them harm.

00:39:27--> 00:39:42

If you truly love someone you want for them, goodness and guidance and correction of the mistakes. Okay, if you want to just take someone on with your ego, then that's how you're going to get out of an ego trip. And probably just harm the person and chase them away from the community and you

00:39:43--> 00:39:43

all right.

00:39:45--> 00:40:00

Yeah, and there's danger in the universal non judgement, no one can judge me you can't judge her. No, we have Allah says, You are the best community amongst mankind. You enjoin what's right and you forbid what's wrong and you

00:40:00--> 00:40:39

Believe in Allah. We can never stop enjoying good and forbidding wrong otherwise evil will prevail. And we know that quotation I don't know anything is Nelson Mandela someone. Evil will prevail when good people fail to act. Well they say silence is betrayal, your silence you betray Allah smart Allah in some instances. There's a way to do it though we have an insecure of Naseeha is done with hikma, what is Hickmott wisdom, say the right thing at the right time in the right way. Most people miss one or two of those points or all three of those points in the equation. Okay, so again, this comes back to your state of being when we talk about being a Muslim, it's your sense of being how do

00:40:39--> 00:41:06

you hold yourself internally before externally. If something is sincere inside, it will manifest externally, otherwise, you'll be like a shell and the cracks will show okay, and that will affect others around you. Were supposed to be call as to goodness calls to Allah just by how we carry ourselves. That's how Sam got spread throughout the world. Muslims who are these beautiful, amazing upright people Indonesia, the biggest Muslim population in the world, the Arab traders came

00:41:07--> 00:41:42

and they just their their, their qualities and the Quran, they're like, these people are amazing. That's how we should be in wider society. Instead, we want to tap dance to the tune of the Pied Piper of society be like awesome, do you know free yourself from the shackles of Islam every second Netflix series is like a personal some girl falls in love with the guy at uni or whatever. And she's gonna take a hijab off and liberate herself and make cartoons of it. There's superheroes have it, trying to tell some girls they need to be liberated from the shackles of culture and religion and tradition. So we have to challenge that we have to speak a different narrative stronger and louder

00:41:42--> 00:42:08

in our homes and families and communities than what is being broadcast out there. They are loud and proud, talking about our oppression. And we are not loud and proud and combating that and saying we are not oppressed and telling out those under their influence through educational institutions and media, telling those unrefined foods like we are the ones who are on the right path of Allah subhanaw taala says

00:42:11--> 00:42:12

they are Christian is that

00:42:15--> 00:42:15

when you

00:42:17--> 00:42:23

get to that point where we start to judge each other in my status

00:42:28--> 00:42:32

and I totally like when they say are you okay? Then it's open on

00:42:34--> 00:42:35

the hope that

00:42:37--> 00:42:41

kindness and compassion and compassion just in

00:42:42--> 00:42:43

that space is

00:42:50--> 00:42:53

I'm angry at that. It hurts you more and angers you in that

00:42:56--> 00:43:04

city. So yeah, you're not an ignorant person they're treating you like you're ignorant. Now, as I look in the Quran, there's no way where

00:43:05--> 00:43:11

you know, all these prophets address people in that language. They actually,

00:43:13--> 00:43:15

you know, with the to the woman can

00:43:17--> 00:43:19

struggle, right?

00:43:21--> 00:43:25

Just took action, we actually go out and help assistance.

00:43:29--> 00:43:31

For my community, I'm just drawing.

00:43:36--> 00:44:15

You're in a difficult predicament, Suzanna, it's very common. It's very common. A lot of sisters I've met large network of my journey as a teacher has been referred sisters or sisters who were on the fringes of the community. And you know, culture and family just burnt them really hard and community, different leaders and hypocrisy. And they've just gone on to know if I want to be part of this show. You know, and they've come back gently through the right type of support, and found their place. Everyone needs a place. Others we're all drowning in the sea. And the heartbeat about not feeling like you have a place where you resonate, and you actually like and respect the people there

00:44:15--> 00:44:51

is you're like, Okay, you're telling me this religion. Now, of course, I want God and religion but I don't like you people. You don't have the characteristics that I want to emulate, I don't feel safe with you. And that, again, see, this is why people have the shell of the sand but not the core of it. So when you have proper religion in your heart, it manifests in the sisterhood and the sense of community and the sense of loyalty and the sense of compassion and trust and when you don't have that it's very lonely and isolating and we can become like I don't trust you and and trust you second someone opens their mouth. It's like start to walk. You know, it's been a long time

00:44:51--> 00:44:54

everyone's everyone is especially because

00:44:55--> 00:44:59

everybody's got a close up in particular itself and not caring about other people and not being

00:45:00--> 00:45:07

Sir. And then it's the opposite lightweight throughout the assembly and needing to take care of muscle.

00:45:08--> 00:45:11

Check yourself to the point where no caring

00:45:13--> 00:45:14

have been revoked trainees.

00:45:17--> 00:45:18

And it's just like,

00:45:19--> 00:45:22

that comes with community

00:45:23--> 00:45:28

in common and disillusion after the concert is

00:45:29--> 00:46:11

complete, we all seek that beautiful closeness that we know is potentially there. If we're properly aligned. And you know, the concept in Islam it's called sofa who your Sahaba like your companions, like, the we long when we just hear the word companion lay with that. You're right. And you see people with like, you know, they've had best friends with them like, Oh, what are those, you know, we chose Pamela. But it's a it's a sorting process to you'll meet people, you have to find your people. And even if it means traveling a little bit lonely and solo for a while. But you have to know in that loneliness in the process of that Allah is your companion and you tie yourself to

00:46:11--> 00:46:50

learning and knowledge to nourish you enough to keep your soul satiated and guided until you meet those right souls and they are out there you will find them who want the same things. Maybe you're not the same in ways culturally or, you know, intellectually. But there's the sameness in knowing that I respect what friendship and sisterhood means. And I want to bring it back. Like we have to be revivals, you know, of these traditions and principles that are in our religion, that you know, the companion what they accomplished, the early Muslims was because they were like this. Did they have differences? Yeah, they did some very serious differences at home. serious differences. It happens.

00:46:50--> 00:47:24

But we again, go to the tradition, what does it say? There are times when we have to withdraw and have seclusion. It's to lick your wounds. Because you we get wounded. You have to lick your wounds, you have to re energize you got to sort through stuff so that you don't leach out what's hurt you because it will leach out when you've been hurt. Okay, it'll come out like venom. No, when you cut like one of those saplings and then the sap comes out, the sap is always going to come out when you've been burned. Okay? So you nurse yourself for a while. And there's healthiness in that seclusion, because one of the diseases of the heart is excessive socialization. So sometimes you

00:47:24--> 00:47:39

have to withdraw for spans of time. But you should always come back. Why because the Prophet peace upon him said there's two narrations that come to mind. One of them is, it is better to endure the harm of the community than to cut off and withdraw from it. And number two,

00:47:40--> 00:48:16

that safety is with the Jamara because Shavon only gets the wolf only gets the, the stray sheep. It is dangerous being out there on your own, okay, because the hawks will shape on this bait on the end, and you'll go I feel so low and I'm so lonely and I, my community annoys, annoys me too much. And you'll take one of these baits at one stage and it'll hook you in. That's how like fragile the path of faith is. It's very, very fragile, and you have to guard it ardently. You have to feel so protective of your faith and your soul.

00:48:17--> 00:48:56

You have to be so protective of it. No one has the right to access to tend to your soul. People can hurt you externally. They can hurt your psyche, they can hurt your emotions. You don't let them hurt your soul, because that belongs to a lot. It came from him and goes to him the journey in life is to make sure it stays clean. So that when you meet Allah, the successful ones who come to Allah with Kanban Saleem, like a sound heart, like I love my house, just stuff happened in life. But I kept my soul. Steady. My heart and soul was steady just for you, aiming for you looking towards you. Because that's the ultimate, you know, destination Ultimate Reality is getting back to him.

00:48:58--> 00:49:06

All right, so let's share us now throw me some words Smilla. Us Now what it really I'm just adding to what you were saying

00:49:09--> 00:49:09


00:49:11--> 00:49:12

what they believe,

00:49:13--> 00:49:13


00:49:15--> 00:49:15

I think

00:49:17--> 00:49:19

some of us don't,

00:49:20--> 00:49:23

unfortunately, do not go into

00:49:24--> 00:49:25

what and learn

00:49:29--> 00:49:53

and do it. Yeah, there's a disconnect. Definitely. There's a disconnect. We say we want something but we're not willing to do what it takes to get what we say we want. So we have to actually address do I really want what I say I'm wanting because if I do, it's going to take some effort and dedication and commitment. Right. A lot of the time we say we want this we want that we don't follow it up. We don't follow it up.

00:49:57--> 00:49:59

Alright, so let's move forward at us today.

00:50:00--> 00:50:01

I've heard the words yes I put

00:50:03--> 00:50:03


00:50:06--> 00:50:08

whatever my work I'm

00:50:09--> 00:50:13

representing an advocacy. Representation. Yep.

00:50:16--> 00:50:19

And maybe the President is trying to do what's right

00:50:20--> 00:50:21


00:50:24--> 00:50:28

Anyone else? Sorry. people pleasing

00:50:30--> 00:50:32

trying to make everybody happy

00:50:34--> 00:50:44

yeah, I'm sober today. A bit of everything here. Yeah. Sorry. fashionista set your goals

00:50:49--> 00:50:50

Yeah, anyone else?

00:50:51--> 00:50:53

Phone System hit us with one

00:50:55--> 00:50:58

bless us with your generosity. The beer

00:51:01--> 00:51:04

barrel a lot of people use this judgment

00:51:06--> 00:51:06


00:51:10--> 00:51:13

identity identity crisis

00:51:16--> 00:51:18

scared disconnected.

00:51:20--> 00:51:21


00:51:23--> 00:51:29

are we scared to like we're scared of a lot of things scared of public opinion scared of disapproval. Scared of God.

00:51:31--> 00:51:41

Lot of fear there anyone else? Ignorant sinful ignorant ignorant sorry, The Wizard of Oz speaks from behind the kids

00:51:43--> 00:51:46

ignorant and sinful Thank you sister hasna

00:51:49--> 00:51:49


00:51:57--> 00:51:57


00:51:59--> 00:52:02

And if you don't think you're most likely to sanction

00:52:03--> 00:52:05

at all you're not an error

00:52:09--> 00:52:10


00:52:12--> 00:52:14

racism seems to have suffered

00:52:16--> 00:52:20

addicted to disobedience, attempting again

00:52:27--> 00:52:40

I'll just all right. Okay, so I'm already concerned because the contrast between the model that we had before she's all strong and sassy and independent and successful and we're just this last mess

00:52:47--> 00:52:58

it's free so you see why it's so inviting when there's all this to be US versus that really sad of them up that changing and so that's why they wouldn't be so

00:52:59--> 00:53:03

hot and grumpy and miserable with supreme Wilson look sad right?

00:53:06--> 00:53:10

Okay, this shows you're in some kind of battle as well in a different way.

00:53:11--> 00:53:25

But it shows we're searching as well. He or she thinks she's found she's got the path to success just got the roadmap Oh, do you really eternal success? Was it just material and physical and sensual?

00:53:27--> 00:54:12

Yeah, internally is there an internal right is that fed she's starving inside the here shows us a battle this is symptomatic or the symptoms and that's a good sign. It's a good sign. When you have a rash it's a good sign means your immune system working right? Because it's coming up with bumpers it's like something's Something's attacking me like I've got symptoms. We as we have this going on, we have to realize this is these are symptoms. I mean, this stuff battling inside that we have to address. We can't keep numbing it over with these techniques because you won't heal you got to go inward. So that brings us to the next image this is the Ideal Muslim ideal from what you know what

00:54:12--> 00:54:23

is womanhood in the Islamic tradition from what you know who is this woman and how does she carry herself and what she like what are her characteristics and interestingly enough we all know

00:54:28--> 00:54:34

we have two worlds to contrast we don't have to be this lost confused in the middle we have to choose

00:54:37--> 00:54:38


00:54:40--> 00:54:41


00:54:42--> 00:54:44

Oh like decisive

00:54:47--> 00:54:47


00:54:49--> 00:54:54

I can't can't be dominated in gonna be dominated in dominance for

00:54:57--> 00:54:59

Beyonce song coming to my head.

00:55:00--> 00:55:00


00:55:09--> 00:55:13

let's read them out as we write them just call out the word ladies as we write them go

00:55:15--> 00:55:15

how often

00:55:17--> 00:55:19

she's trusting in law yeah anyone else

00:55:21--> 00:55:21


00:55:23--> 00:55:47

protected by Allah protected by Allah Tala devoted to Allah All right happy content I mean happy continuous sense of accepting of all those calls and whatnot saying that we don't get upset don't have moments of sadness because we do it's just got this baseline like accept it like we go through a trial we understand that it's

00:55:49--> 00:55:58

and it's not so for me it's almost simply means that she's happy contented accepting submissive to Allah's decree those beautiful

00:56:00--> 00:56:00


00:56:03--> 00:56:04


00:56:07--> 00:56:10

heartbroken and self sacrificing are hardworking

00:56:12--> 00:56:13


00:56:19--> 00:56:22

a fighter not with her husband right Auntie

00:56:24--> 00:56:34

only when required no she's she's not a fighter with her husband. She fights for Allah so yeah, he's doing something he'll fight him on it

00:56:36--> 00:56:37


00:56:39--> 00:56:40

God conscious

00:56:46--> 00:56:56

yep well man it's been a minute we'll manage grateful to everything that comes under well manage and as luck would probably put yeah

00:57:04--> 00:57:06

she thinks good Yep. Circles smooth on

00:57:08--> 00:57:09

she educated

00:57:10--> 00:57:11

she is

00:57:15--> 00:57:18

very knowledgeable because he's not throwing that out well

00:57:20--> 00:57:22

she's very normal knowledgeable

00:57:24--> 00:57:26

she's a seeker seeking knowledge

00:57:27--> 00:57:27


00:57:30--> 00:57:34

Does she keep good company? Yeah. She's social life.

00:57:36--> 00:57:41

Are we socialite now? Are we in a socialite age now in terms of our now image?

00:57:43--> 00:57:44

Too social

00:57:46--> 00:57:47

to some extent.

00:57:49--> 00:57:51

Some people depends. Everyone's different.

00:57:52--> 00:57:56

Some people are more introverted. Some people are very

00:58:01--> 00:58:01


00:58:06--> 00:58:13

well, well balanced. I like that one. She's not like erratic and inconsistent.

00:58:15--> 00:58:17

Modest. Yeah, that's a huge one.

00:58:19--> 00:58:22

Oh, sorry. Empowered.

00:58:24--> 00:58:24


00:58:27--> 00:58:28

She works on her inner

00:58:29--> 00:58:34

mindful she has mindfulness she's got the pocket she's on the future

00:58:41--> 00:58:46

Yeah, the middle one could be nice cheese a bit harsh with her. She's a hot mess

00:58:58--> 00:59:00

browsers just like that. And

00:59:02--> 00:59:03

I just got beautiful.

00:59:07--> 00:59:09

That's why I lectured you about judgment before

00:59:11--> 00:59:12

from Zillow. All right.

00:59:14--> 00:59:52

Okay, so we have this contrast. So we have this different we have definitions, we have assumptions. We have judgments throughout all three of these different types of women, these characters, and we have to choose what traits do we want to emulate? And without even doing a lesson you knew what this ideal should be? Right? And we I'm pretty harsh on myself because I always feel like we're never at this ideal, but Is it achievable to to at least a base level? It is very much sir. Through training yourself right and disciplines and holding yourself to a certain standard. What is that standard? It's some extended and that's where you hold yourself in dignity and integrity and and you have

00:59:52--> 00:59:53


00:59:54--> 00:59:59

Okay. So, when it comes to the, you know, the Islamic tradition

01:00:00--> 01:00:37

We know that men and women are equal in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala. And they fulfill the same duties in worship, prayer, faith, charity, fasting and going to Hajj overall, the rites and rituals are the same except for a few minor little finger issues, very small diff very, very minor differences. And we know that when this time came, it improved the treatment of women drastically, in prehistoric Arabia, right, because they used to bury girls alive. Women were like commodities that weren't treated well at all. And when at the advent of Islam, it was like you have to honor your women, it was in the Prophet peace be upon His last sermon, treat your women well, and look

01:00:37--> 01:00:52

after them and then the Sharia the laws of Islam, ensure the safeguarding protection and provision for all women. As a woman, you you are in some ik society, you are never to be left alone without someone looking out for you.

01:00:53--> 01:01:03

This whole independent woman thing, it's like, well, we don't need to be we can if we want to be self sufficient, or we don't need to be because our Islamic law

01:01:04--> 01:01:37

stipulates that someone should always be looking after us but that's the hard journey I'm going to say On a sidenote for for reverts especially, or for women who have their families aren't traditional and they don't have that tradition, or reverse sisters are married to the community, and then maybe get divorced and then she's on her own. She's like, who's my mom, my family is actually going to check on me, make sure I'm safe and okay. And that's something that's supposed to be allocated by the community structure, but unfortunately, we don't really have that list. Someone has very close access to noble men who will protect and provide for women that they aren't married to,

01:01:37--> 01:02:03

and see her as a daughter or a sister. And that's unfortunate, you know, the, you know, like a side note always the river journey is very difficult and challenging in modern times. Who's a revert in here 123 So four of you and Jessica and my father's a river and sister has now seven shows we have this is like 50% River sisters mashallah so the dedication to knowledge Steve Gould Scott's

01:02:08--> 01:02:13

you feel like a revert I do yeah, yeah. 100% Well, I'm extremes

01:02:16--> 01:02:28

I call that like the returning Muslims you're like a revert the return. It's like I'm coming back to Islam that Islam I wish I'd grown up with kind of thing. You know, a lot of Muslims choose Islam at a certain point in their lives.

01:02:29--> 01:02:59

But yeah, that, you know, you're never alone in whatever your struggle is. And there's no Muslim before you haven't experienced similar and found a way through we know now that some of them the most strong role models, defenders and teachers of Islam in the world today, there are reverse Michelle, and who overcame adversity and they dedicated themselves to align his religion that became their way that became their home, and their religion and those who follow and ascribe to the religion and the teachers and students of the religion became their family.

01:03:00--> 01:03:02

So there's always an option for us in sha Allah.

01:03:04--> 01:03:38

So we know that Islam came in it, it did liberate women very much so. And what what was happening nowadays is we started to think that liberation is you know, taking place outside of our religion, again, like we are turning away from what saved women to now deciding that what the world has out there, because it's mashallah glossed over with a with a shiny veneer, starting to doubt what we have, and the next generation are really doubting what we have. And thinking that what's offered out there looks more appealing, and indeed it does. It looks more

01:03:39--> 01:04:23

relaxed. It looks a lot less pressured. You know, I had a client about a month ago, the mother daughter doer, the daughter was 27 years old, I thought I was about to meet an 18 year old. That's what I had assumed. And this mother said, you know, daughter's just come from the UK. She works there and finance. She lives there on her own. And the mother just nags all the time about don't forget your prayers. Don't forget what I raised you in this girl's like, I don't want to she's crying on zoom on like how Allah like, she's like, I need to do it for myself. This is my journey that I don't feel like I can do. And a man is going no, but you have to do traditional woman hasn't

01:04:23--> 01:04:55

grown up in the West, but they've given their daughter to the world. And now they're telling their daughter, but you have to do it our way. She's already she's gone. So I couldn't break that to the mother. Like she's on her own journey now, but I just said you just have to meet her with lots of love and compassion. And you and your husband connect with her as much as you can, because you can see there's just strain between mother father and the bond there. But the force was just chasing her further away. And I love Ireland. She lives a whole other life overseas. Utilidor, you know, do your Salah this that God knows what Allah Allah um, you know, we think well, we don't know what she's

01:04:55--> 01:04:59

living over there. The parents can't seem to fathom that.

01:05:00--> 01:05:46

At. So, you see these things up, you know, up close and personal. It's unfortunate. So women were given the rights of inheritance to manage property. She was given the right to dowry upon marriage, to live in her own home and be financially maintained in marriage, so on and so forth. And the Prophet in our historical collections, he he consulted with women a lot in his decisions, what should I do? Right? Or when you feel vulnerable to her deja cover me? He turned to women a lot. So they're not this whole men are only macho and then they never soften or never need the advice of women. Women are known to be very supportive, intellectual, articulate, you know, some of them

01:05:46--> 01:05:54

financially capable, some of them just providing a lot of emotional soothing, being that soft place for the leaders of the community to fall.

01:05:58--> 01:06:19

Women used to engage in the mosque, they used to pray congregational prayers, they used to have their opinions that yeah, Rasul Allah, yeah, Omar, they would put, you know, put their opinions out there and their thoughts out there and make demands, you know, and we would see this from the wives of the Prophet peace be upon him and have the full full alpha and the righteous female companions as well.

01:06:21--> 01:06:22

So Allah

01:06:23--> 01:06:24

Yes, sister has

01:06:25--> 01:07:24

something very important. Yes, sure. Oh, like, the reason that ravenica You know, at Islam, you know, is because why we're so motivated is because we live the lives that the kafirs are living, and we know that it's slavery and oppression and miserable and horrible audio. We know that, and that's why we love this harm. So when we talk about the Australian women lot, and the non Muslim women, we need to bear in mind that, like, if someone's a diehard Kapha it's gonna be horrible, but if someone like like, has relationship with Allah, like it's just horrible for them. I think someone is someone who, who really eats up the materialism and, and the freedom that they would love to but I'm seeing

01:07:24--> 01:07:37

someone who's like always going to be a Kapha is going to have a great time. And I think as someone who, who like probably it destined to accept Islam one day, I having the worst time anyway, that's my opinion.

01:07:39--> 01:08:17

Thank you, Sister hasna. Okay, so how does Allah subhanaw taala refer to men and women in terms on their, their status and their expectations from him? In chapter 33, verse 35, Allah wants to Allah says, the Muslim men and Muslim women, the believing men, the believing women, the devoutly obedient men, and the devoutly obedient women, the truthful men and the truth women, the patient, men and the patient, women, the relevant men and the relevant women, the charity, the woman and the charitable women, the fasting men and the fasting women, the men who got their chastity and the women who got theirs the men who remember God much and the women who likewise remember him, for the for such as

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these God has prepared forgiveness, and a magnificent reward. When it comes to the path of becoming a righteous human being. God specifically mentioned the separate words for men and women in each of these descriptions. He could have just said, the right there for believing people. He could have said for truthful people, he chose to identify and distinguish it separately, Allah subhanaw taala so big sign for us show there is this element of like equality in our status with Allah subhanaw taala his Salah is not worth more than your Salah just because he's a man. No, he's fasting, so on and so forth. Okay, so we have certain efforts, rituals, or acts of worship, to have the same

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potential statuses that other men are less, you know, telling us that there's no differentiation there in terms of your status. So that sort of

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I think it's in 3335.

01:09:21--> 01:09:27

For someone that's financial reporting, just send me a message, and then I can send you the rest

01:09:29--> 01:09:30

of the system.

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I'll Buhari relates a statement Mario Mario Balcatta. The second rightly guided Kaylee in pre Islamic days, we cared nothing for women. When Islam was revealed, and God mentioned them in his revelations. We felt that they have rights which we owe them, but we involve them in nothing of our own affairs. Once I was deliberating within myself about a particular matter when my wife said, it may be appropriate if you do so and so so all my wife said, why don't you do this or that you go

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Is to her Why didn't interfere in something of my concerns. So he's got his old way of there's like, what's the business is it to you? Woman, right? And then she says, This is amazing coming from you even I've kept up, you object to being given a piece of advice when your daughter Hafsa gives advice to God's Messenger. She's nice comeback, boom, boom, right on that would have just been silenced. Because when it came to the dean Utes, that's what would submit this fiery line of a man Mashallah. Alright, so he had some of these old attitudes and he shifted and adjusted his attitudes according to the Islamic model. And that's all we're called to do sisters, shift and adjust your perspectives,

01:10:40--> 01:11:22

your mannerisms, your ideas, your perspective, through the Islamic model, because we have examples that we can find that will relate to every situation that we're in. What's the best way to deal with this? What's the best way to perceive this? Because perception is a very volatile thing. If you choose to perceive something in the wrong way, it can take you down a very dark path. Maya walks in, she doesn't say salaam, to me, my perception is she hates me. Or she's a snob. And then I go and get my degree, which is a stop I just fell into sin. She did she had, she had to wait for the industry. And I can look at her as a model. Mashallah.

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So I then come away because my perception, I created a belief and I started to behave and act in a way accordingly, from the darkness in my own heart, something that I needed to adjust instead of going maybe she didn't see me maybe I should just greet her first why am I sitting here thinking she should greet me? Right? See the attitude, your perception, what you carry and take away from that will determine domino effects of outcome is very, very important. And maybe she actually just didn't seem Yes, she walked in no biggie right? So you have to catch yourself in what you're choosing to proceed. Second, you have a negative thought or emotion about something filter through what what

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would Allah and His Prophet want from me? What is our what is our way in this? What is our tradition? That's how you address it enough training of doing that and trying to get yourself to do that anytime you have a negative state or emotion over time, that training ground that consciousness because all it is is God consciousness you're training yourself to be more comfortable will allow me to do or how should I act? Is this the right way to think and it's like just cleaning up your thought processes and getting rid of all those little seeds that will grow in your heart and create more tangles of you know, horrible feeling that you'll carry, you know, in your chest and in your

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mind all the time. I love purify us.

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There's a contemporary scholar named Abu Halim Ashoka, he mentioned in his process work, women's liberation at the time of the Prophet. He mentioned more than 300 authentic sayings and practices of the prophet that confirm women's full participation in social activities during the profits time. So when we talk about women's shoes, we tucked away and hid away in the corner and that's the religious model. It's not that's not true, then it's not practical. Because you get some religious circles are very conservative. And then women are not seen or heard and generally don't leave the house very much. But you know, because that's their perspective of a righteous woman. If she's happy to do

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that, that's with her know, her husband and her family and Allah subhanaw taala. Okay, but it's not something that can be stipulated. Okay, it's not that way, not seen and not heard. And it's also that we're not, I'm here and he me and I've got to be loud and proud. That's not our way loud and proud. We're proud but we're quiet and proud, humble. And and we speak properly. So we've taken seriously what we have known as the swinger sisters who are Masha Allah. I don't know if they're days or whatever, but they're very loud. It's not our way, pull it together. You don't need to put on a fancy shirt yelling to the microphone either. There's a way that we carry ourselves as

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different and just like you said, even when you guys mentioned like the, you know, provocative the woman she carries herself in a provocative way. The whole purpose of like our dress code and her mannerisms is to not be provocative, and that comes from the smallest of gestures. So provocative woman should grab her hair shaking her head, because this this is like

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you know, this is an age old body language cues that speak a message if you look into the studies on just tilting your head slightly for a photo even gives the viewer a invitation

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to liquidate a

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chair mimic.

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They know that they're mimicking, mimicking their small human gestures that we don't realize that we mimic and if you look at Neuro Linguistic Programming, if when I'm talking to you, you touch your lip and then I touch my lip, I then gain more influence over you. That's how pervasive it is. This is how we don't rely

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As how influential or under the influence we are, by what we see. Very, very important. People don't even know what they're doing or why they're doing it, why they hold their camera here or there all of it speaks something. So the woman without, you know, the woman who is, you know, the mainstream woman, she weren't really she turns her head and she starts right twirling her hair. What do we see? Now we see hijab is in there, like, in the videos, he does in the wind

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loops, head angles.

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If you look at it, and you're like, what you heard the jab, purpose of it is for you to be like uniform mode, treat me professionally. That's the purpose of hijab. It's our uniform. But now we've mixed the two worlds together. So we are that confused, you know, Lady in the middle, and we're just like, hijab is a whole before this thing goes on your head. Your job is already before that in your mannerism, and how you conduct yourself and modesty is not just covering your hair. Yeah. So that's why now we have to remember like the loud and proud you have some women, they stay put themselves because we have social media. And I was like I'm a representative of the Muslim community. And she's

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outspoken, she's yelling, and she's running for this and doing that she's the emcee for them. They're just so just really loud. And we don't need to be like that, to have our opinions heard.

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It's not like you know, it's not the loudest that you know, the loudest voice in the room that is the one that we should mostly hear and listen to.

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So who are our role models from the Quran and Sunnah? I'm going to give you some little model examples

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when on the next page it so Alright, so our role models from the Quran and Sunnah so that you have some actual, real tangible examples that you know, I didn't know that story and you can look it up.

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We have a single mother in in the Quran, who was she?

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Maryam Yeah, the mother of Asa. She was a single mom, she did it on her own. And she had to face the slander and the backlash of the community because it was a miraculous conception. May Allah protect us? You mentioned what a test that was knowing how judgmental the community was, she faced massive judgment from the community. She was the most pure Chase religious woman. And then she had to face that then going all looking at you, Mr. Religious, look what you've done. You've done a shameful thing they said to her.

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And then Allah, Allah, the miracle of Asa, speaking from the grave, and not from the air from the cradle, in his mother's defense, and they sit down to see sometimes you don't need to say anything, she saw silence, right? You have sometimes like Allah and salt. And some people will have to find out the hard way, in this life or the next, you have nothing to prove. You know the truth. You know, your intentions, you just do your best, and you take the plan of what God brings your way. We have married Muslimah with a tyrant husband

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asiyah. How does she deal with him? Some women are married to men who she starts practicing, and then he's not practicing and then gives her a hard time with her Islam. You're not alone.

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A married Muslim or with a good husband.

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There are many beautiful companions of the Prophet peace be upon him. And some of the wives of the different prophets, the bad wife.

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Anyone know anything about the bad wife?

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Yes, she was someone who chose his gun but there was a wife who she was Oh

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yes, she chose me Skype, I'm, I'm referring to another one. Another prophet.

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That there was one woman who said

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she was bad.

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We have a lot of examples, even a bad example, which is good for us to realize. Because one, one woman who was a wife of one of the prophets, father in law came to the house when her husband wasn't home and he asked, how, how is everything here? She starts complaining about her father in law son, her husband.

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And then he goes now.

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All right. Yeah, the wife of Ishmael prophet is my Ibrahim came. She didn't know it was Ibrahim because they had many men but he got left in the desert with Hajj. aralen salam Ibrahim comes back must have been a long time later, decades later.

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And he says, you know, how was your life? How was your husband? She starts complaining. He's reunited with his smile. And then

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he says you need to change your she goes Oh no. He said to the woman tell is mine. Would you pass him a message tell him he needs to change his doorstep.

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And when Ismael was conveyed that message he knew what it meant. The Father knows what his son is saying when he has a father like Ibrahim, so he divorced her and married a righteous

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All right.

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So that's a reminder like what are we saying complaint and

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we have had life sometimes it's hard, you don't have everything or maybe your husband has certain traits or whatnot. But the example that we take this just always be careful about the honor of your home and the sacredness and privacy of the problems in your home. Okay nowadays Mashallah.

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Some of the things that people ask in some of these, like Facebook groups

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from Zillow, they write anonymous but the things that they asked

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anybody liked their Houseman

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they just asked like it just looks like every day there's someone who hasn't as is a husband that you know, it's like, we have to be Be careful social circles who are very dangerous, yes child who is an American.

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There are many so many examples. So when the allotments Allah will talk about the different wives and the nobility. So there's lots of mentioned through the Quran and the Sunnah. So the bad wife is the wife of is Marian interesting story to what about the woman who was righteous and she had these beautiful traits she had a kingdom she was a queen.

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Filthy she's the Tamil Prophet Sulaiman. Okay and you rate your you read the mentions of her in a situation with the Prophet Salam and you're like whoa, and she was like a Queen Queen.

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Yeah, the Queen of Sheba Correct. Filthy so she was good in hearts and missive heroes ruling a whole kingdom Mashallah.

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How about the last Foreman mentioned before the wife of the Aziz tried to seduce Yusuf Ali Salam okay. So, there are we have to want you to look at these because we have to contrast we have these we have we will either go through this feel like this be like this or see this around us. And we have examples to take from what was their end? And what is their example, the divorce see who was taken and married to someone honorable

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Zainab bint Jahsh. She was married to the adopted slave or adopted son of the prophets, Allah allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, even serve it.

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And I read on it yesterday, I found this article that was literally 2030 pages long. But I was just like, oh my gosh, this is such a cute story. I won't tell it to you because it's too long. Looking. Look it up, but it's beautiful. So she's married to the prophets. You know, he grew up in the house. It was adopted son. But it was an example for us that if they divorce, you can marry your adopted sons ex wife. This is not your real son because you'd never marry your daughter in law. She's always You're right.

01:22:43--> 01:22:51

Yeah, he sees Zeinab when she comes looking preside and something in his heart moved. And then

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and he said some muttered something as he left. And then when they came home, he said, you know, she said the Prophet sallallahu sallam, he came and you missed him. I sent him Welcome. Come in, you know, you can wait. And he said, No, that's fine. And then he uttered something as he left, she goes, I don't know what it meant. She tells her husband, what the prophet uttered. And again, a son knows his father and he was like a father to say, his heart knew that the utterance meant something. So he went to the prophet and he said, I want to divorce my wife, the Prophet goes, have you seen anything bad in her? Because no, but Allah, she's almost righteous a woman, he goes, go back and be

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with your wife, like, Professor just go. Then Allah reveals the verses and says, You didn't want to reveal what was in your heart. But you have to marry her. So they divorces her and then she marries the profits on a long run. Sorry, happy together. Yeah, they weren't happy. They weren't they weren't getting along. We're compatible. And again, that happens. It happens. People have such taboo and such nasty opinions about when divorce happens. Must because something bad has gone on or whatever, no, some people just are not compatible, or they were and then they grew apart. It happens. Everyone needs to shut their mouth. And don't have an opinion on because no one else to

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your opinion, support and love the two people and wish them well. And God their honor. Thanks. So we hear a lot of gossip. When people get divorced. It's it harms a couple more than the actual divorce harms the children more than the divorce when the children have to hear everyone's opinion what happened or this and that. The Prophet peace upon him said that part of being a good Muslim, so leave alone what doesn't concern you? Now the words hashtag minor in business. Very big role, but we don't apply it for the noisiest, gossipy community, possibly out of the other culture then religious communities. Some of the communities are pretty bad actually. But it's a disgusting filth. It's

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filth. It's filled the way that we want to carry gossip and we want drama, and we want harm on on our community. The fact that we like talking about gossip and things that people struggle with. Yeah,

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She like your community being wounded and harmed. And that's a sickness right there. Why we don't have sisterhood and belonging and trust because of that. Those traits dirty hearts comes from the heart. And the Prophet peace be pointing to a person's tongue will give you the taste of his heart.

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Or right. daughters who allied with their father, Lutz daughters, just ally, that's our dad. We follow your way that even though the mother didn't

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the first woman noble, how are Alayhis Salam, a mother, a mother like wow, that is a strong mother mother of Musa put your baby in a basketball and river George's river. And you trust Allah.

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Choking at the thought of it. What trust she had

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bad tongued woman, the wife of Abu Lahab Meloetta metal hat on

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she carries tails and then she gets mentioned one or two hammer little heads up for her she'll get punishment of

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01:26:09--> 01:26:20

It's like a type of like wood in the hellfire. You carry tails. It's like you carry like firewood. You carry these tails and you dump it on people, you spreading tales and stories everywhere. Jahannam that'll be the punishment.

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If you think about yourself, does that count as carrying tails? No, no, that's self expression. But even that we have to choose carefully what we say about ourselves to you and tell everyone everything we have some discretion we have some dignity, in what we choose to share.

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And excessive to too much talking about the self means we're very focused on ourselves. So we should be you know, internal, external and always calling to Allah and his messenger

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who was the scholar from our tradition.

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I shout out to Lauren her. She was a historical anomaly. And her contribution to Islamic law and thought became part of the foundational canon of Islamic epistemology and legal tradition. She lived for nearly 50 years after the death of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam and the wives of the Prophet when he passed away so Allah wa salam never remarried and allowed to remarried. So she just dedicated to leadership and knowledge and teaching.

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This, her and Abu Hurayrah

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such a role for a woman as an intellectual founder was unheard of in other faiths philosophies and social theories. But I shall known for her outspoken frankness, and her commitment to carrying on and carrying forth the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him broke with historical trends and began a new line of female scholarship and leadership amongst Muslim women. She's a massive role model for us in terms of,

01:27:52--> 01:27:57

you know, academics and knowledge and scholarship, especially Islamic scholarship.

01:27:59--> 01:28:35

Right. And if you look at historical examples in different lands, and countries we don't hear about because it's not taught, but there are these little circles of women's scholars in lots of different countries are shot a lot, you just don't hear about it. For example, in Uzbekistan, a little known category of Muslim women religious leaders called Oh times, they worked for centuries as female scholars, teachers and cultural tech caretakers of faith. So these staunch women, mashallah from a lot of different cultures and cultures and traditions, there were massive foundations for the preservation of Islam and the teaching of Islam and holding the, you know, the fort for the men.

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Remember, once upon a time, men always had to leave for like battle or for trade. The women had to protect the way they were and raise the kids to be warriors as well. Imagine what they had the fortitude they had and the skill sets they had in them as women. When these days were like, they're so soft and flaky. We feel guilty if a kid goes, No, I don't want to wear my blue t shirt. And unlike you, it doesn't live. Right. That means it doesn't like me, what do I do? My kid doesn't like me, and we freak out and want to cry. I've had times where I've been, like me, right, these people pleasing. But again, where's the fortitude? I don't care what you like, I'm the mother. Again,

01:29:16--> 01:29:28

there's a hierarchy. I'm in charge of you need to learn and it's not always what you want. Because I'm preparing you for the world out there. You can't go and just throw yourself into what it is you want and desire. Support the goddamn t shirt on.

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So now we're guilted. Why because we've gone outside of our religious model into mainstream models, where if you're an assertive authoritarian parent, you're you're a bad parent. You're wounding your child by telling them that to do something that you say they have to do, you can't force them. You're you're telling they're a boy or a girl anymore. That's oppressing them. If you tell them they're a boy or girls wrong. He get charged in some places for that.

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Scary. So now we're gonna go into the topic of IDEA pathogens and parasitic eyes.