Tawakkul (Trusting in Allah) 45 mins + 40 mins Q&A – Amazing!

Bilal Assad


Channel: Bilal Assad

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Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Alaikum salam, as Mara kids can do whatever they want, just

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Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah How am I brothers and sisters?

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Today I've got a new look thank you to my dear brother here who gifted me this nice Moroccan outfit. I told my nephew de Loki, he said, You look like a wizard.

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Kids. My dear brothers and sisters, welcome back. And tonight Insha Allah, I want to talk a short lecture and then followed by some questions from the audience. The topic I want to talk about is extremely, extremely important. It's about Tawakkol. It's about reliance upon Allah subhanho wa taala. And I want to fix or go over some of the misconceptions or misunderstandings of what Tawakkol is, and what it really is. And in sha Allah, I believe it will help you in all your life in sha Allah, man or woman, my brothers and sisters, did you know that the scholars told us in this earth there is a paradise in this earth there is a paradise whoever enters it will enter the paradise of

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the Hereafter, and however, cannot enter it will not enter the paradise of the hereafter. What is this paradise My dear brothers and sisters, it is not materialistic. It's not the outside appearance. It's not the praise. It's not the reputation. It's not the looks. I'll tell you something brothers and sisters Wallahi. It is to be able to live with complete reliance on Allah subhanho wa Taala no matter where you go, what you do or what happens to you. This type of a person can always see beauty in this world can live as if there is a paradise in this world. What do I mean by that? I mean, the negatives, anxieties, depressions, fears and sadnesses that we go through grief

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that hits us, all sorts of pain, all of these, they become suddenly diminished to Allah Who allows him and you become stronger automatically and able to get through them. They'll still be pain, they'll still be sadness, but your sadness and your pain is different to everyone else, you're able to live with it and keep going and you'll get over it quicker. Anybody who has a connection with Allah with God, Allah subhanho wa Taala

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is able to get over all these negatives of life quicker than anyone else and be able to live a paradise in richness are in poverty, in health or in pain.

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There is a book called the relationship or the

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the something like the relationship, much the relationship between the mother and its child by John Bowlby who said that a child has a particular connection with its mother. And that connection when it's there, the child feels safe and at peace and comfort until it grows up with the warmth of its mother, it feels nothing else can happen to them. And that's through the heartbeats and everything that was in the womb. And he draws a conclusion from that saying this expert psychologist read a great author. He said that it it is proven through studies that people who have a connection with God

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are less likely to take their life and are less likely to experience long term depressions or mental illnesses, they're able to be more resilient and get over them quicker. My brothers and sisters we have in our deen Alhamdulillah in our religion, something called Tawakkol. First of all, what is Tawakkol Tawakkol My dear brothers and sisters simply means to have the trust in Allah's plan, and rely on him in any case, to trust in Allah's plan, and rely on Him in all cases, meaning that you must do everything in your ability. Listen carefully, Brothers Sisters is very important. You must do everything within your ability that Allah had given you all the resources which Allah had gifted

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you. Then after that, whatever the outcome, whatever the result after it after you tried your best, whether it looks good to you, or it looks bad to you, or if everybody tells you negative things about it, or everything good about it, the person with telecoil does two things after the event. If you get something great out of it, you do not boast. You don't think you are better and superior to other people and show it off. Number two, if it looks bad to you.

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If it looks bad to you, you are never pessimistic.

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pessimistic is a person who has negative judgments and thoughts. This is this is going to happen. That's going to happen. This is bad. I'm a bad person. I am a failure. I cannot do it. There's no way I'm not even going to try again. They're developed traumas. They don't know how to get out of it. What is the solution to that brothers, sisters? Tawakkol it's like this

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If you have a problem in your life, or you have a fear in your life, fear, by the way, is the opposite of Tawakkol. Without Tawakkol, there's fear. And then you got to hold on to something that gives you motivation. But Tawakkol, which is to hold on to Allah and connect yourself with Allah, Samantha, that he has the best plan and everything that you do. means like this, if you're in a problem, you can't get rid of it, and it's playing on your mind, you can't go to sleep. You feel like the world has caved in on you.

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Do these four things? No, do these three things. I'm gonna make it easier. Do these three things. Wallahi. It works. And I've seen it work with a lot of people, it works with myself as well. Number one,

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you need to first and foremost truly and really identify clearly, what is it that is disturbing you? What's your problem? Don't use don't go into five or 10 different problems in your life, don't branch them out. You just go to one by one. Just put it in one little bag and focus on that problem.

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Identify it, you can do it right now, while you're sitting here. Identify a problem that plays on your mind. One, not to one. Is it your exams? Is it money? Is it your children? Is it your marriage? Is a something someone said to you? Is that your looks? Is that your job? Is that your car? What is it? Any problem? Is that something legal? Is that someone who's after you, whatever it is one problem, identify it, focus on that problem. Next, you're going to do this.

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The next thing you're going to do this,

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you're going to truly from your heart, honestly and sincerely say

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even if you need to close your eyes for this.

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And you forget about everything around you for about one minute, not even just 20 seconds, just empty your mind. Can you do that? Can you do it for 20 seconds, just don't worry about anything in the world. There is nothing else imagine you're going to die tomorrow. There's nothing else that matters. Focus on that problem. Close your eyes and say to Allah, if you believe in Allah say to him, Oh, my Supreme Lord.

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I'm gonna take this problem off me. I don't want it anymore. I don't want to think about it. I don't want to deal with it anymore.

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And I am giving it to you, your Allah, I give this problem to you. What can I took in Arabic? I delegate You, You Allah. Take it off me. I'm gonna give it to you to do whatever you want with it. I don't want it anymore taken off my shoulder. Just give it up. Give up that problem. That's the second step. Suddenly, you're going to if you do it right, you're going to feel a little bit of pressure go off you have given that up to Allah. If it doesn't work right now. Do it tonight. When you go to sleep, Inshallah, maybe you need some quietness. Maybe you need to focus maybe, if you're a if you're a mother, maybe Maybe children need to go to sleep, if if you're a father, who's also

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looking after children with your wife, maybe they need to go to sleep, just focus. The third step you have to do after that is this.

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Don't have any expectations after that. Don't have any expectations. Don't think, Now Allah is going to do this for me, just into your brain into your expectations. And so yeah, Rob, anything

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that you decree as the outcome from this, I accept it. I accept it. And I will be brave. And I will face it. And I will do my best for because I know whatever the outcome is, you're up. I will get through it. Summon bravery, there is a fourth thing.

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And that is very important.

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Do what you can within the power that Allah has given you to take care of this problem. But remember what you've just done, you've given it to Allah, you've taken all the expectations, whatever outcome, you know, that even if it's hard, because he gave it to Allah Who will assist you through it, and believe that and be motivated to it. And lastly, do what you can out of the resources that Allah had given you. Brothers and sisters, if you can get used to that I swear to Allah He any problem you go through whatever comes your way and it will, you will face many pains and many problems in your life. Don't you dare ever sit down and think you want to paradise where there's no

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pain, nothing there has to be, but we don't know what's good for us and what's bad for us. You do what's Helen, fear Allah in what you're doing. Don't go for the sins if you do repent to Allah and forgive yourself, don't worry, we all make mistakes, but give it to Allah. You know the sin if if you've done a sin, even if you've done something haram, give it to Allah. So ya rob the thing that I'm feeling right now. I feel so much guilt

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Other thing last time that I did your up, I give it to you. I don't want it anymore. I don't want this burden. Forgive me. Hola. Hola. Hi, yah, my lord, I regret it. I don't want it anymore. Forgive me suddenly say I don't have any expectations, we're going to do my best. Be brave and keep going, forgive yourself.

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If it's a right of someone else, say you're up, I don't want this problem. Don't expect any outcome. But the fourth thing is go and see what can you do to repay the person that you've wronged? How can you make it up to them?

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lift that burden off you in any case, brothers and sisters, let me explain something further.

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One of the biggest mistakes a lot of Muslims do is when they think about relying on God on Allah subhanho wa taala. They take it too far to one extreme. And that is they forget about their actions that they have to do. And they forget about cause and effect the laws of cause and effect. If you do this, that's gonna happen. If you don't do that, you're not gonna get that who created these laws of cause and effect Britain sisters who created them? Is it not Allah subhanaw taala. It's Allah who created the laws of cause and effect. So when you do something you will receive, go ahead and do it to what Cole means to use the laws of cause and effect which Allah created for you. Because he gave

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them to you. We're sitting there sometimes, and we think our code, our code, everything, sometimes we have 50% of the solution around us. But we refuse except for a supernatural solution. We want something different. Do you realize that I see a lot of Muslims, they sit there, they think I need something different. Why? Because somehow I'm special because I'm a Muslim. I've got to be more special. God has to give me something more special, some kind of sign different to everything else.

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I heard one. One young person said to me, I wanted a sign from Allah about which way I should go. I said, What did you expect this to be easy? He said, I expected a lightning.

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Well, I don't know why I expected a loan I think was just too much Netflix, I did not know what the issue is. Lightning.

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Another one said Wallah just wanted to hack a breeze, little wind to come through the window says what kind of power cool is that?

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Brother and Sisters, you have to use the laws and the laws of cause and effect you have to do what you can. There is the other extreme. The other extreme is called

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when you rely only and solely and mostly on cause and effect, just things and you don't rely on Allah at all. That's the other extreme.

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And these are most people who don't believe in Allah subhanaw taala. And these are the people who go through most stressors because when things don't work out, they try to get motivated, but it's very hard. As soon as something doesn't work out once, twice, three times, or they lose someone from their life. They don't know what to do with themselves anymore. But if you have your connection with a higher power, Allah subhanho wa Taala brothers and sisters Wallahi no matter what happens, you still have greater hope than anyone else, people still have hope. But your hope is far greater. Because your ambition, your goal, your connection is something beyond just this world, this world is

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going to temporary is only temporary is going to end. So how old is Tawakkol? It is to rely on Allah subhanho wa Taala and do what you can of your effort together hand in hand. Brothers and sisters, let me explain it even more than that. What Quran Allah, putting your trust and reliance on Allah means this exactly, you ready? Means this exactly. It means

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you do everything you can.

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Then whatever the outcome, you think of four things, four things that will keep you going and Sharla.

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whether good or bad. Allah has a plan for me.

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The outcome happens and you Say Subhan Allah, Allah has a plan for me. What is it? I don't know, but he has a plan. I am certain he has a plan. Number two, if it's a suffering that happened to you, say 100% Good is going to come out of this suffering 100% Good is going to come out of this suffering I'm going through and it will. Or number three,

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this suffering is a test for me. I know this is a test from Allah. It's possibly a test for my hereafter and a test of knowing myself. I will pass it and I will not let it overcome me coming. You know that test one and this suffering and all that. The shaytaan will come to you right at the point of your lowest point, they will come to you right at the point where the outcome happens. Sometimes you might think oh, I expected more of an outcome. It didn't happen that way. The Shaitan comes to and says I've got him I've got

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Let me know I'm going to start whispering right now. What do they whisper you missed out on Nisman? You could have done that. You're a failure. You had this opportunity your friend does it you you missed out. What are you doing? Your failure told you you're a failure. You would have been whispering like that. Or if you failed says I told you you're not good. You set their alarm and alarm making all your door and everything and you did everything that it needs and you still failed you're a loser what even rely on God there's no such thing as God that shaitan will get you right there brothers and sisters right there. Sometimes the shutdown will come to you and say pray pray

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more, pray more. pray more. pray more. Pray more primer as soon as you think you failed in something. So say I told you, you prayed all those prayers. All the sharks are telling you something you failed still, please pray. Right there is where the shaitan use vulnerability but guess what brothers and sisters, the shaitan has no power over you. The Quran says this that on the Day of Judgment, Allah subhanaw taala says, call it no Robin

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King Ghana fee by Lenin dallied, his own or her own show THON that is born within the Katene will say on the Day of Judgment. Oh my lord, I did not make them go astray.

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But he or she was too far. They the they already thought bad about themselves. They were too far away. They were diving way far away. I just whispered and they listened. And another versatile Shaitan says

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bliss himself stands in hellfire and makes a hotbar a hotbar a sermon and says to everybody in hellfire. Hey, everyone, let's make a deal right now I know you're all gonna blame me.

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Let's just agree. I don't blame you. You don't blame me every man to himself. I just called you and you listened. So don't hold anything against you, man. I had no power over you. Wallahi the shaitan will say that. So you have power over yourself, brothers and sisters. So the four things are, something happens after you tried your best think Allah has a plan for me. Number two,

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good is going to come out of this suffering. Number three, this is also a test for my hereafter. I will pass number four. It is a learning opportunity from the mistakes and decisions that I made. Is that a bad thing?

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Is it a bad thing that if you learn from your bad decisions, is that a bad thing? Or a good thing? Can you imagine everybody making perfect decisions? Is that possible? That's impossible. You're not meant to. So Allah subhanaw taala makes us deliberately fail. Why so we can learn? Who can tell me why Adam Alayhis Salam ate from the tree.

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Why the ray from the forbidden tree? Layer? Don't give me shaitan

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remember we said the shaitaan has no power. Shaitan whispered. But why did the money salami from which something that we all have? Yes, I'm what what do you think?

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What did he say?

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Yeah, I can't hear you very well. But I'll just say yeah, you must be right, somehow a little Dalek. Um, what's your name? Zaid, I heard your name. Zaid says something good. I don't know what it was. But I'm sure it's correct. Insha Allah because I couldn't hear but Zaid, Adam Ali Salam, everyone ate from the tree because it was forbidden

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and of curiosity.

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But guess what?

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Allah Subhana Allah knew that was going to happen. And he allowed it to happen, knowing that Adam was going to make that decision. Why? Because Adam Alayhis Salam was going to learn something which without it, he would have never learned he learnt the value of mercy and forgiveness. What does forgiveness mean? What does mercy mean? And these are two values that we need in our life? What is the feeling of forgiveness and mercy? This is what creates relationships and bonds between people. When you feel that somebody forgave you, somebody had mercy upon you after you made a mistake. How do you feel remember the last time that you may have had a clash with your own mother or your

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father, or, or a sibling or a good friend who you had long history with? And you did something bad? And then after that you reconciled or they accepted you again or you you resolve the problem? Do you remember how much weight was lifted off your shoulder you feel amazing.

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This feeling of forgiveness and mercy that Adam Alayhis Salam learned after eating from the forbidden tree, he would not have learned how to not eat and from that and not have known the enemy and not have known his strength to bounce back insha Allah and we all do that we all fall in order to learn. So brothers and sisters don't call on Allah subhanaw taala means no matter what happened, you always assume positive about Allah subhanaw taala. As I told you before, there is no pessimism in Islam. It is haram for a Muslim to be pessimistic.

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That's why certain people resort to false beliefs because of their pessimism.

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they resort to wearing

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A blue evil a blue, a blue stone on their necks feeling thinking that it's going to prevent the evil eye because of their pessimism. They think everybody has that in for them and they're going to give them the eye. So they go and wear a blue stone or a shoe. I've seen a little shoe people wear it. I've seen people make a horseshoe and they're hanging on their exhaust behind their car. The car is not worth $2,000 and probably about the concrete but they still put a shoe

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some people they get a child well, I've seen this a lot a child is born. Child's got blue eyes. Everybody's gonna give him the eyeball. Who do you think you may type Allah Subhana Allah gave you a child who blows hamdulillah say Masha Allah tabernacle, everybody is going to give them like everybody wants blue eyes or brown eyes or, or whatever. And you want I'm trying to sevens something. Something goes good. He I better keep it a secret because everybody's going to give me a boy. It's good to keep things as soon not showing it off. But this pessimism, some people go to fortune tellers. Some people go to tarot readers. Some people believe in astrology and they take a

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star and they call this star by the month that they were born and say, That's me.

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Oh, that's me.

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They see a star someone made up this idea that if you're born in January, you are this or you're what's it called? Is scorpion and verge.

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What? Anyway, the horoscope stuff, star signs. Suddenly they make a decision what they are, that's me.

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I'm Virgo.

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I'm Leo. I am I don't know what no put her under. Somebody put on a social media status. star sign. Okay, brothers, sisters, all this. Some people you know, we talked about myths and superstitions the other day. This is the result of pessimism, you know Subhanallah last time I spoke about myths and superstitions I just gave a very small example. And I said there are some myths that they taught us when we were young even myself that you know if you're preying on a primitive and you you know our grandmothers and mothers and all that and fathers and even shapes they used to tell me that I've got a I've got to fold even the tip of the permit like if I don't have to fold the tip

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why because the shaitan is gonna dance on it or pray on it and other ones is gonna you're on urinate on it oh

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my god look at all these couple of praying on here in the masjid must be shaytans everywhere. Then pray on his brother United everyone dancing brother and sisters. These I saw a kid I kid you not pun.

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He left his prayer mat and by the way, there's no such thing as a prayer mat. It's just a matter that we choose to pray on every the whole earth is to hold and Masjid Ross was awesome said the whole earth is made as mustard. The whole The whole earth is made into a mosque into a place of frustration and it is all pure. You can pray anywhere. The entire earth is your premise. But some people like to have a prayer mat and understand that maybe the for cleanliness or to put it I mean, I've got a prayer mat myself we call it a prayer but nothing wrong with it, for cleanliness, to pray on it because you feel a little bit more spiritual, not spiritual but cleaner to pray on it. It's

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fine. And if you want to fold your pram and put it away to keep it nice and clean, that's good. But the problem is when we associate pessimistic beliefs to it that the prophesy sentiment Allah did not tell us, I'll tell you what happens. I saw a kid lift his prayer mat open because he believed literally that the Chopin is preying on it. He was he was he was traumatized. He was terrified to prey on the premiere. Why? Because he thought that premiere. That one is jinxed. That one's got a shaitan on it. No, I will never put on that premiere. And it was a red premiere he had he even hated all the color red. This is called pessimism.

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Do you understand what happens when we have superstitious beliefs the result of pessimism. In Islam there is no such thing and pessimism is what leads to shift in people going and reading your star sign or going to somebody telling you your fortune or your future. 40 days of your prayer will not be accepted if you do not believe in them just going to them believing them makes the disbelieve in Allah. Allahu Akbar how much emphasis Islam puts on being optimistic brothers sisters, and not holding on to things like that.

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To work Quran Allah subhanaw taala not on talismans and amulets and charms and

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You can go to Pandora and buy gold. Nothing wrong with that. But you know the name Pandora, Pandora's box, it's all based on pessimism.

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And pessimism and vulnerability. This is how salespeople and influencers want to sell you something they pry on your fears. Listen to what Allah says in the Quran about preying on your fears. He says a shaved lawn without me doing cool morning and felt Oh my motto being an infection faction.

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Well, long we are either

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male or female right?

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More film blow long Silicon Valley shame. The devil threatens you with the prospect of poverty and bids you to be shameful, and bids you to do shameful deeds of stinginess, while Allah promises you forgiveness and great bounties from him. And Allah is all bountiful. All Knowing the show thorns says to you says to you're going to be poor, your family is going to be out on the street. If you keep

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doing this, what you're doing, you're going to end up losing your job. Look at your kids, look at your wife, look at your husband, look at your parents. What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? Go to the banks, get usury get anywhere under any circumstance, or more than that, more than that, more than that. Let's go and make a tobacco farm.

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You guys know I mentioned that this is in right now. Tobacco farms

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and nicotine, which they put in vapes for young people to put toxicity and poison in themselves.

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And they do all these sorts of things in Haram stealing theft crime. Why? Why? Because the shaitan makes you afraid. This is going to happen to me that's going to happen to me. Where's the toilet? To work? Kelowna lost Montana means to seek Halal provision.

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not haram provisions, brothers and sisters.

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Speaking about what could I did say that there's something called Tawakkol

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Tawakkol. And what were called Tawakkol means to put your trust fully in Allah subhanaw taala. And do and exert every energy, every plan, some and every resource, and every advice you can get and study all the ways in plan and rely on Allah no matter what the outcome is, even if you fail, however, there are people who have only dollar code, which means they're doing little or nothing. And then just rely on Allah subhanaw taala. The scholars they said, reliance upon Allah without taking into account the laws of cause and effect is this obedience to Allah?

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It's Marcia.

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And relying only on cause and effect without relying on Allah is schicke. It's polyphony ism, because you're making things in life as gods.

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Maria Malay has salon in the Quran in surah Maryam while she was giving birth in labor. She was in labor and giving birth under a palm tree. You know, the story is sort of muddy and when she gave birth, Teresa Alehissalaam.

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Allah says fern.

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Zuni pada in general Isla bonita, Thank you Sorry. Well, Hosey like EBG.

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Now cullity to sell,

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journey, Falcone or Sharabi he will cautery IE, Allah says, And so while she was in labor under the palm tree, so a voice reassured her from below her.

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Do not grieve. Your Lord has provided a stream at your feet. Now listen and shake the trunk of the palm tree and shake the trunk of the palm tree. Shake the trunk of the palm tree towards you.

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It will drop fresh, ripe dates upon you. So eat and drink and enjoy what Allah has given you. Did you guys realize something surprising here? What was it? Shake the trunk of the you need an elephant, two elephants to shake the trunk of the palm tree towards you. This is not only not an elephant, she's a human. And she's a woman and she's in labor. She's giving birth. Sisters have given birth no.

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And she has to shake the trunk of the palm tree towards her.

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Can she? No She cannot. She touched it.

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And Allah did the rest. But Why did Allah still tell her to shake the punk? Why did Why did Allah send the message through that voice to still shake the chunk of the palm tree to teach us we still have to do our effort.

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Using our effort means that you are using Allah's resources and Tawakkol means to use what Allah gave you and to rely on Allah and the things you have no control over.

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That's why Allah brought this verse to us. Another example is Musa alayhis salam in surah.

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In surah Ashara verse 663 For Ohio

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I mean

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earn your body beer also kind of baffle for all Hain

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Isla most

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boring bear also kind of baffled further

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further Alcon fat guy in a corner Lofoten, please go bold in all the name. Then we revealed to Moses commanding him strike the sea with your rod. He had a he had a stick, strike it there upon the seas split up and then each became like the mess of a huge mountain.

00:30:42--> 00:30:46

Again we see, Musa alayhis salam is standing at the ocean in the sea.

00:30:48--> 00:30:52

Allah could have slipped the sea for him. But why did Allah tell him to strike it with his stick?

00:30:53--> 00:31:19

To show us again, you still got to do the power and the effort which Allah gave you, you must do it to teach us that part of our code is to use Allah's resources that he gave us. What's the stick going to do? Allah did the rest. Allah says to the problem Hamza Salam install it better in when he was in the Battle of butter. In Sortland fan, while I'm out I made it I made kin nulla

00:31:22--> 00:31:27

in the Battle of brother, the prophets, Allah and it was silly and picked up some dust from the earth, and He blew it.

00:31:29--> 00:32:07

And he said, sure how to lose who will inhale consume. The faces have become blinded by the will of Allah, the everlasting, the most powerful, and suddenly the enemies became blinded with the dust just from a little bit in his hand. Allah says in the Quran, why Mara Mehta is roommate, when those enemies fell over messenger of Allah when they became blinded and scattered. It was not you who did it. It wasn't a bit of dust that you threw were like in Allah Hara it is Allah who know who made the dust go into their eyes. Still, again, we learned the lesson. Do your part to do what's within your resource. We never find the Prophet Muhammad Salah Salem ever sitting aside and not relying on

00:32:07--> 00:32:23

sitting aside just relying on Allah and making dua, brother sister was also a salon was lifted to the heavens in his throat. Well, Mirage is not right. We all know this, we all believe this. But when he wanted to migrate from Mecca to Medina, away from the enemies, we're going to kill him. He could have just asked Allah to bring the Buraq and just

00:32:25--> 00:33:01

just fly with him. Take him all the way to Medina. But no, he went through a strenuous planning and strategy. So much so that you think where is Allah in all of this? Where is Allah's reliance in this? Nah, that's what Reliance Allah means. He made every plan and plot the story as long as you need to read the Syrah how intricately detailed his planning was and strategy however, along the strategy with all the fears he's going to get killed and we're going to be Allahu annual or severe because with him, and Soraka nomadic the one, the warrior who was going out to kill them to get the bounty on his head.

00:33:02--> 00:33:26

So rock ematic fell on the ground, and he had never fallen off his horse as he was chasing after Mohamed Salah Salem and Abu Bakr and Francois Selim is walking very slowly walk around the Alana is running around the prophets Allah Selim trying to protect him from all sides and he's anxious while the prophets Allah Selim is just reciting Quran and making zikr and ovoca Delana says yeah rasool Allah Surah he's about to get to us he's about to get his only a few feet away and Russell's I said there's not even paying attention.

00:33:27--> 00:33:50

Suddenly, the horse fell and he fell off and Soraka nomadic got back on second time, third time and then Soraka he is the one that's pessimistic because they've got the idea that idols do this and that to them. That's what pessimism dusty, here's a pessimistic person. So he got up and he said, Oh my god, this is really bad. This is a bad omen. So he crawled to the Prophet sallallahu wasallam on his knees, put his hand on the floor nearly his head on the floor and said Please let me go

00:33:51--> 00:33:54

Soraka the owner is gonna kill him. He's got the sword and he's saying please let me go.

00:33:56--> 00:34:12

And we know the story is long later on, it becomes a Muslim. But I want you to combine the two Ross also said and did he just sit there and just say Allah will take care of Soraka was Did he plan he planned everything I lost my thought I did the rest. So brothers sisters, rely on Allah whether it's good or bad.

00:34:14--> 00:34:18

Omar are the Allahu Anhu you will no longer the Alana is the second Khalifa

00:34:20--> 00:34:35

Ahmed of the Allahu Anhu once he sees a young man, young men may be in his 1718 1920 he sees a young man sitting in the masjid, praying and worshiping and doing nothing else.

00:34:36--> 00:34:37

That's all he was doing.

00:34:38--> 00:34:52

So he asked who provides this young man food and clothing and drink and all that who provides him for his sustenance? They said to him his brother. Yeah, I mean, he said his brother is far better than him. And the guy sitting in the Masjid 24/7.

00:34:54--> 00:34:59

So then he Ahmed Alana was he wore his heart on his sleeve and used to carry a stick with him. Anybody did something wrong he would

00:35:00--> 00:35:07

happened with it sometimes it's a bit harder sometimes a bit softer he'd wake up the people and he is the Khalifa. So he came up to him and he said to him, Young man,

00:35:08--> 00:35:10

get up and work. Go get a job.

00:35:12--> 00:35:26

The sky does not rain down gold and silver for you. Did you ever see the sky raining gold and silver? Never. So get up and stop sitting there going so yeah, let it come. No. Some people do that and istikhara

00:35:27--> 00:35:31

is the Hara means to ask Allah subhanaw taala for

00:35:33--> 00:35:44

to rely on Allah subhanho wa Taala and whatever you're about to do. So I avoided saying guidance because some people still misunderstand the word guidance when I say guidance suddenly what do they wait for?

00:35:46--> 00:35:49

A sign not just any sign supernatural sign

00:35:51--> 00:35:51

any like this

00:35:55--> 00:36:11

is it you make this the hara and I wait five minutes and then it comes? What comes? I don't know what it is. From where Moran from Allah. What is it? Well, I don't know. But if it's coming, it's there. It comes down.

00:36:12--> 00:36:13

I feel it.

00:36:14--> 00:36:30

Some people believe it's the harder you have to see a dream again who told you you have to see a dream? Can anyone here please for the love of Allah subhanaw taala give me any evidence from the Quran or any Hadith that once you made us the hara you're supposed to see a dream someone

00:36:33--> 00:36:37

well, that's okay you can say it I'm not I learn if there is a delete I've searched everywhere.

00:36:39--> 00:36:58

Do ah is the hara does not mean that you have to see a dream brothers and sisters, you may see dreams. But here's the thing. Let me explain to you. abuse happens through dreams. Control happens through dreams, especially sometimes through parents who want their own whims and desires. So they abused their children through it. For example,

00:36:59--> 00:37:31

a really good guy would come and ask for their daughter. This This has happened many times runs I hear this day in day out. Someone comes maybe their daughter's interested in a guy who's come he's a really good guy. He's coming and asked for their daughter. Everything is good and hamdulillah or the other way around. The parents say let me make an istikhara first, here we go. The parents don't want him. They don't want him. They've already had fights over fights. While Allah if you're on will never visit you all your siblings will never come to visit you anyone who goes there if if she marries him nobody everybody cut them off. Why for your own whims and desires? No reasonable reason.

00:37:32--> 00:37:39

So then when some of them they they keep going out of the go, let me make an istikhara here we go, Masha, Allah, what do you think they're going to see in their dream,

00:37:41--> 00:37:51

they could see things that their brain is telling them already, we don't want him. So in my dream, I'm going to see that he's a bad person. The Shaitan will say, there's a vulnerability. I'm going to stuff this one up for them.

00:37:53--> 00:37:57

And even if you see a righteous dream, how do you know what's the righteous drink? From ahead? What is the measure? How do you know?

00:37:59--> 00:38:35

And brothers and sisters, you know, we tell our cells these things. Sometimes a relationship is there. It goes on for months between a boy and a girl behind their parents backs. They get attached to each other, and they've established memories. The more the memories you have, the more the relationship between you two did you guys know that? What is relationship relationship memories, the more you deposit good memories between each other, the more the relationship and the bond is going to be. And I call it dating, Brothers Sisters dating is a Western terminology. When you date and go dating means you make a date to go out together to certain places. Now dating doesn't have to

00:38:35--> 00:38:47

necessarily mean that you're gonna kiss and hug but majority of them I would say 99% of them end up kissing, hugging and more. Because the more you establish relationships and the more you go out together the longer you are come on man Don't Don't kid yourself.

00:38:48--> 00:38:56

Most of them fall into haram and then you become attached then when you come to get serious about marriage or whatever will make us the Hora

00:38:57--> 00:39:02

have you be already attached we made the decision you've already gone ahead in the Haram way and then you're going to say let's ask Allah

00:39:03--> 00:39:39

you know you're going to see in your dreams you're going to see his apprentice is beautiful is amazing. Or you might see shaitan dreams you because your brain is all over the place now you're full of emotions. So brothers sisters, that is the Hara is about to work but what is Tawakkol no matter what the outcome and Hamdulillah I will keep going because if it's what I wanted, or if it's something I didn't want, it doesn't matter. I have my trust in Allah because some other door is going to open sometimes the door closes in every way. Then we go and do it the hazard that the hazard has to be sincere brother and sisters some people that go to camera they say I'll make my

00:39:39--> 00:39:44

diet in front of the car. There that's my secrets my key yeah Allah please give me that person.

00:39:45--> 00:39:48

The proper dua brothers and sisters is like this. Oh Allah.

00:39:50--> 00:39:59

Give me what's best for me and keep away what's bad for me. Obstacles will come in your way and he will start feeling intense feelings as the time

00:40:00--> 00:40:26

goes on as the situation develops, when you reach a brick wall and you think, man, beyond this, I'm going to be doing haram beyond this. It's mentally draining for me beyond this, there's going to be lifelong problems, then you say, Hollis, maybe it's better for me to move away. That could be the sign. So brothers and sisters don't make us the harder and die and expect some particular science to come to you. People give me all sorts of strange weird, you know,

00:40:28--> 00:41:05

interpretations. So Ron says don't work well. Again, I repeat, relying on Allah doing what you can doing it the halal way and whatever the outcome, you don't fall. You stay in you say whatever it was probably a plan from Allah. This is good for me. Insha Allah, this is a test for me or I'm going to learn from my faults, whatever it is, I'm going to try again. Because Allah will not leave me Hamdulillah that it was from Allah, Allah from myself, brothers, sisters, that's what we do. We don't just keep going and going and going and going, going. Anyway, brothers sisters are on what are the Allahu Anhu one day sees a young man walking with his head, listen to this with his head

00:41:05--> 00:41:05


00:41:08--> 00:41:31

And he's walking with his back arched and he's wearing clothes that are, you know, just very humble with patches on them. And his and his work and like, as if he's so humble and pious and has given up on the entire world, dragging his feet. You know, some people they think that's piety. That's what spirituality looks like, No, it doesn't. Well, I'm gonna help out with Alana with his usual stick

00:41:33--> 00:41:36

comes off his horse comes to the young boy, young man.

00:41:37--> 00:41:39

And he says to him,

00:41:40--> 00:41:44

lift your head up. He hit him a little bit that lift your head up.

00:41:46--> 00:41:48

Islam is not a sickness.

00:41:49--> 00:42:10

You In other words, so he became religion suddenly act like a Sikh Islam made you sick, put your head up like a lion and move forward. Islam is not about that. Sitting in a monastery where he's sitting and little becoming worship a monk or something. No, no, no, no, Islam is continuing up ahead of everybody in sha Allah as much as you can. That's what Islam is.

00:42:11--> 00:42:12

That's how the prophets of Allah Salam was.

00:42:15--> 00:42:17

There was a woman. What was her name?

00:42:19--> 00:42:22

SubhanAllah. I forgot one of the companions.

00:42:25--> 00:43:02

I forgot her name. Subhanallah omble handset she had a concert they used to call it as a nickname on one of the hola on her made her quality control over all the businessmen she used to go around and check that their products are good as they describe them. And then they're not cheating customers. So she was like an inspector. And one day she saw a group of young men coming in. And they were miserly that sorry, they weren't. They were humbled. They were dragging their feet. And they looked very soft and weak. And she said, What's this? The Companions never seen that. I've never seen pious religious people walk like that. She said, What's this? Oh my god. Alana would never accept this.

00:43:02--> 00:43:20

She said he was a man of, of strength. And when he spoke everybody listened. And when he did something, he did it to his best and he never walked like as if it feeling sorry for himself in the whole world's against them. No, no, no, no, get up and be strong. It was not known to be like that. So brothers, sisters, I hope Insha Allah, you got the idea.

00:43:21--> 00:43:22

Lastly, I want to say this.

00:43:23--> 00:43:45

If you could rustle Salah salem said, If you could rely and trust in Allah in its absolute true meaning he would provide you the way he provides the bird. It leaves in the morning, empty stomach and returns in the evening with his stomach full. Again. I want you to be careful with this one. Some people say just like He provides the bird will provide me

00:43:46--> 00:43:56

but they missed one point about this hadith. Did the bird stay in its nest? Did the bird not fly? Did the bird not what do you see the birds doing right in the morning they wake you up

00:43:57--> 00:44:24

and they go, they do not stop? Then they come back. They make a lot of noise and they sleep. What did they do? They seek they seek they work they do everything in their power. But they rely on Allah meaning they're not pessimistic. They don't give up. They don't sit there say Man, I can't do it. Brother sisters, listen and memorize this word. Laziness is a choice. Repeat after me. Laziness is a choice. An act being active is a choice.

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Laziness is a choice. Being active is a choice. Don't say ask me how do I wake up with pleasure? It's a choice. It's a choice brothers and sisters. If I gave you a million bucks, that goes the choice out the window. You have no choice except to get up because there's something that you see or you want the million bucks. Brothers and sisters, there are lastly I just want to say this there are even in the people experts in money and finance. Although they don't have Allah in their life. They've kind of taken some of the meaning of Tawakkol but they just stopped

00:45:00--> 00:45:07

hear in this world there's nothing beyond it. But it also agrees with what the process and I'm said except we have Allah in our life. So according to a guy named Kristen

00:45:10--> 00:45:39

Jarecki you retic he's a founder and CEO of Brooklyn plans. He says wealth mindset is the idea that the universe is plentiful. So let's just chain those words the idea that Allah His kingdom never runs out. He is Razak. He always gives so this guy use universe instead of God. And our potential is unlimited. True. Rasul. Salah salem said, was time Billahi well attaches seek Allah's support and never paralyze yourself, don't give up.

00:45:40--> 00:46:02

And then he says it involves defeating self limiting beliefs that come up around money or life goals in general, to break past self imposed barriers to a better way of living. Stop putting blocks in your way. Allah did not put blocks in your way. And they called it the scarcity mindset. It's when your mind tells you no matter how much money you have, you think

00:46:04--> 00:46:42

I'm going to lose it. I still need more. I'm going to miss out. He says do the opposite have an abundance mentality no matter what happens these people feel like they will always land on their feet and have money when they need it. And not because they are rich. This is the mindset are so SallAllahu Sallam put in our heads. However, then he woke up and said to you, if you have a roof over your head, and you have clothes to wear and you have a meal to eat and you feel safe, you control the world. Do you understand it's a mindset. It's not the money. So how much you have in the bank? Wallahi I know people who have millions. oximeter will love Allah. He loves him. The more they

00:46:42--> 00:46:53

have, the more scared they are, the more competitive they are. I don't know what's going on with them. Some people got into mental illness. Some people have got estates and millions and Wallahi

00:46:57--> 00:47:00

I'm not going to say it because it could be someone you know, I won't say it.

00:47:01--> 00:47:02

I swear it could be someone you know.

00:47:04--> 00:47:11

Anything they say miserly and selfish no one spend even a cent. Why? Because they're afraid who you're leaving it to.

00:47:14--> 00:47:17

So my dear brothers and sisters,

00:47:18--> 00:47:24

speaking about those who are who act pious and like God is going to be there for them they don't have to do anything. I remember two blokes.

00:47:25--> 00:47:50

You know the dress like the way that you you do recognize as pious and aesthetics that they've given up on the world that's how they appear Wallahi will lie is back probably about 15 years ago, I went to a house auction to buy a house. Khaled way more Morava has system anyway. I went there and there's a bunch of people bidding for this house Wallahi those two men were there

00:47:51--> 00:47:59

looking all the setting and all pious mashallah making dua Wallahi I kid you not my brothers and sisters. They started going at each other.

00:48:01--> 00:48:18

Like two beasts about to kill each other. bidding on top of each other we all gave up and they bid on the house even higher. Why? Ego? You might you're supposed to be brothers and mates. Look, you look the same. And this one's gone this way. And this one's going that way and then suddenly, one started swearing at him.

00:48:19--> 00:48:24

And then the swearing turned English and his own language mixed. He lost his mind

00:48:25--> 00:48:34

over the house. Wallah. I saw one of them if Miss fistful. Like I said, Hold on, hold on, brother. Take it easy, man. Take it easy. It's just the house just you'll find another house in shelters about the punch on there. We're about to punch on.

00:48:36--> 00:48:36

What happened.

00:48:38--> 00:48:46

For my brother and sisters, there are people who steal what good is fake. And there are people who are real. Those are the people who find the paradise insha Allah who died.

00:48:47--> 00:48:51

Martin sisters, I won't talk much more than that I've done enough Alhamdulillah

00:48:52--> 00:49:13

but I hope insha Allah that tonight gave you a good idea of what Torquil is, and hope that you can gain strength from it. Insha Allah Allah so that you don't give up we want to brothers and sisters to stand on their feet. We want brother and sisters to be the people who you know, lead the way and who are strong we don't want the ones who big we don't want the ones who receive we want the people who are the ones who

00:49:15--> 00:49:18

you know benefit, and others can rely on them.

00:49:19--> 00:49:59

This is how we should be in sha Allah Jota Isla so don't give up my brand sisters no matter what. And work in the way that Allah subhanaw taala had commanded you. Try your best and whatever the outcome was, don't say if only I had done this or if only I had done that out of despair. For that opens up the path for the shaitan to come in and whisper to you and use your vulnerabilities, but rather say caught dot Allah, wa Masha. Allah has pre measured and whatever He wills he does. I'm happy with that. Good. We'll come after this bed. I'm certain of it. Have that mindset and watch what happens. Watch what happens. Just like Aloha. There was some Aloha Nabina Muhammad while early

00:49:59--> 00:50:00


00:50:00--> 00:50:20

mine. So brothers sisters, once again, I said, short talk and I went a bit longer. Do you have any questions? I don't know if you've seen this youtube clip, but I think many people have seen it. But if you haven't seen it, he's actually a friend of mine. He's not here today. His name is I call him aboubaker. But his real name is Ruben. So he's on YouTube now.

00:50:21--> 00:50:42

He was in the younger days. That was a talk him and I went on in Sydney. I think it was in 1999. So we were there together. And he was speaking about his journey, becoming a muslim. And he speaks about how he learns about Islam. And he liked it and loved it. But there was one thing that stayed as a gap in his heart.

00:50:43--> 00:51:04

And he said, I just wanted just an abnormal sign from Allah. Like, I wanted some extra sign just for me something special. So he talks about it. I mean, he says it better. But if you want to go on there, and he also have more of a skip voice, accent Osya I can put on a skip back. Some of you are gonna laugh at me. No.

00:51:07--> 00:51:10

No, okay. All right. I'll stay as I am.

00:51:16--> 00:51:22

So he, he sits there in his bedroom on his bed, and he said, I was alone.

00:51:23--> 00:51:31

And I had the Quran with me, that was tough. And I said, Dr. Rob, oh, God in English. You know, nothing's hard for you.

00:51:33--> 00:51:36

Become a Muslim, but just give me one little sign.

00:51:37--> 00:51:42

Just anything. I know, you brought up the sun and the moon. And this is all easy for you, but give me one sign.

00:51:44--> 00:51:52

So he's sitting there and obviously it's funnier than what I'm saying. I'm just summarizing it. And he says, okay, Allah, you can do it go.

00:51:54--> 00:52:13

And he's waiting for something to happen. He's waiting for anything something big. He was wearing something big, but nothing happened. So he said the DA again was a bit disappointed and he said, Yara, please show me something. Maybe just if the light flickers a little bit. Maybe if the breeze comes in a little bit, just something.

00:52:14--> 00:52:16

He waited and waited and waited.

00:52:18--> 00:52:23

He goes, usually that night, these things happen by themselves. That night, absolutely nothing.

00:52:25--> 00:52:33

He goes, I was disappointed. I thought, man, God can do all this stuff. I'm asking him one little tiny thing just flicker the light, nothing happened. Nothing.

00:52:35--> 00:52:46

Else he says the story that he opened the must have the Quran and you all know the words of Allah. For those of you who know how the Quran works, it mainly follows four different repetitive

00:52:48--> 00:53:26

themes and messages. And it's said in different eloquent ways and elegant, just beyond our mind. And each time you read in a different way, you just learn it from a different angle. So it's repetitive in different ways. So he opened it up. And what does he read he read verse he read verses which mean like this, which mean like this, that they asked you Oh Mohamed, about science? I think I think it was the verse about the angels, because they asked the last man to die, let bring us the angels down, let us see God, you know, bring up dead Earth in front of us so it can be filled with gardens and streams God can do that. No, he reads on. And Allah subhanaw taala says in the Quran in a

00:53:26--> 00:53:37

passage, have they have they asked you of signs have we not already brought them enough signs? For those who want to reflect to reflect already.

00:53:38--> 00:53:52

And Allah mentions in there, the sun and the moon and the palms and the and the womb and the generations before and the generations after and how Allah subhanaw taala brings the clouds and the rain. The problem is brothers and sisters. He just sat there and he goes,

00:53:53--> 00:54:05

it's right in front of me all around me. And I'm here selfishly asking for something abnormal, when the site is already there for us and I learned something from that consist as we take Allah's miracles for granted.

00:54:07--> 00:54:26

Yet we are asking for something supernatural every time although miracles all around us but when we see them all the time our hearts become hardened, as Allah says, for CASA Kulu, Fatah Allah Allah and him will Emmett focus at Cordoba. Allah says in total Hadith that the people before you Allah kept bringing signs upon signs for them, but because they got used to it, their hearts became hard and then they forgot.

00:54:27--> 00:54:41

So always look at yourself and look above into the stars. And remember, Allah is always showing you his signs and miracles. Why do we not rely on him just below here, my brother and sister so you can watch it on YouTube? Insha Allah it's more entertaining than the way I said it.

00:54:43--> 00:55:00

Brother is asking about some brothers who were asking about marriage they find struggling to find a wife and they're asking, What can we do in a halal way, in a smooth way in a good way to get to it? And in the fastest way. They say the

00:55:00--> 00:55:00

Fastest Way,

00:55:01--> 00:55:04

the easiest and fastest way to get to it.

00:55:05--> 00:55:06

May Allah reward you.

00:55:09--> 00:55:13

So, there's no fast or slow way.

00:55:14--> 00:55:27

You just got to actually take it easy. And take steps and think don't rush things. But of course, you got to do it the right way. What brothers sisters, you help me out there are several ways some of the ways I know

00:55:28--> 00:55:32

his number one, the classical one through family,

00:55:33--> 00:55:42

get your family to look out for you and ask friends. If you're a guy, talk to your sisters, your sisters can ask their friends

00:55:43--> 00:55:53

and keep an eye out for you recommend for you that way. Your cousin's. If you go to uni, for example.

00:55:55--> 00:56:00

attach yourself to the prayer room. Because over there, the Muslim Student Association

00:56:02--> 00:56:05

you got all ages, whichever tickles your fancy.

00:56:07--> 00:56:10

But respect our sisters respect our brothers.

00:56:11--> 00:56:23

Find a way if there's no other way there's nothing haram about asking someone to maybe approach your sister in a respectful way or maybe asking someone to ask another sister to approach her if you can't approach her.

00:56:24--> 00:56:30

A sister may also send someone to ask in a certain way I mean you know you gotta be

00:56:32--> 00:56:36

you gotta be creative and smart and smooth and when you do it halal smooth

00:56:38--> 00:56:52

Masjid the community where I have some brothers who say I you know I live far distances or I'm new to here how can I I say to them look, you got to come to the masjid a little bit more often get to know more people in sha Allah and through their networks grow.

00:56:55--> 00:57:05

So through events through places you need to be in contact with the community brothers, sisters, if you if you're not known, you're not seeing nobody knows you, you stay aside, it's going to be very hard.

00:57:06--> 00:57:21

Alright, so that's, you know, one way once you find someone you like him or you you're interested in them, insha Allah Allah depends on what your interest is. If you want to see a picture of theirs, that's fine. You know, get it within someone who trusts them.

00:57:22--> 00:57:32

There's several ways. One way is through asking about the family or the brother for example, or a cousin or a friend who is able to get you some bio about them.

00:57:34--> 00:57:43

I say to sisters, if you don't trust you know the person or you don't know what it's going to be done with your pictures don't send it especially don't send it privately to a brother

00:57:44--> 00:57:51

until you really meet the family I think. But you can send your pictures through a friend or a friend can show them I mean I've had that done.

00:57:52--> 00:57:54

Several brothers and sisters

00:57:57--> 00:58:06

if you are interested in them in sha Allah, Allah you gotta be brave and make a step. My advice to you is to ask for their family. Why?

00:58:07--> 00:58:22

I have young people say if we don't date and we don't get to know them outside of the family, how are we going to get to know them brothers sisters, I don't believe in that strategy. Wallahi I don't and I've been for years decades, helping young people and being in the seen

00:58:24--> 00:58:34

meeting people outside of your family but out of your your parents knowing about it hardly ever really helps you to know the person well.

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And I'll tell you why. Psychologically, psychologically, when you meet someone for the first time, especially if you're interested in their looks or their words, you find yourself changing your own language like you start feeling that that you're enjoying this moment because everything new is enjoyable brothers sisters, you get a new mobile phone you enjoy it for a week, man.

00:58:59--> 00:59:06

So when everything's new, you find yourself you're on your own your own hormones, your dopamine, your serotonin, all that starts to

00:59:07--> 00:59:18

come into come into the picture. And suddenly that helps you change your words you find so a bit more patient. You find yourself more smiling you find yourself a bit more attractive.

00:59:20--> 00:59:24

And then the shaitan comes to you and you start thinking oh my god

00:59:26--> 00:59:27

he's changed me.

00:59:30--> 00:59:34

Pro whenever I'm with her full of I feel so close to Allah.

00:59:36--> 00:59:39

I found the one who will take me to Jana.

00:59:42--> 00:59:45

I've changed brothers and sisters. Let me tell you something.

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Nothing's happened. This is all fake.

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It's just the newness of it all the nice talk it's normal.

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Wallahi replace them with someone else be the same thing.

01:00:00--> 01:00:32

I'm telling you, you don't believe me? I don't care if you don't believe me. I know what I'm saying. That's my evidence. Through experience brothers and sisters, we've learned this stuff. Now let me tell you something, you'll know a little bit about them the most you're going to know about them Wallah, I kid you not, it's not going to be more than 10 10% of what you're going to know about him. What do you know about them, the genre of music or their genre, what they like to read their personality, they're funny, they joke, they love going to the beach, or they love going skiing, or they're like horse riding. It's this, this this superficial stuff that you're gonna be sitting there

01:00:32--> 01:00:41

talking about. That's all I've seen in young people, when they meet outside, it's all about fun, joking, talking about superficial things that don't really matter for your marriage.

01:00:42--> 01:00:43

The real stuff

01:00:44--> 01:01:25

is when you dive in, don't dive in deep in the shallow end, to slowly go talk to your mom and dad. Say, dad, you know, there's this skill I heard about, uh, even if you've met them, let's say, let's say in high school in secondary school, you met them, you know about them, someone recommended you, even if you happen to talk to them. Once in an open environment, I mean, this, realistically, this is what happens in our time. All right, just avoid any haram interaction, such as being secluded, alone in a room together, such as starting to talk stuff that really now is unnecessary. It's not really the talk that you should be talking in. I'm talking about flirtatious talks, pickup lines,

01:01:25--> 01:01:58

and, you know, acting like you're all pious, but you're not. And you're just showing the nice side of your face and the nice side of your body or whatever it is, these things you know yourself. So once you get serious and you start snowing and going to see him with the parents and family or even with a cousin or even with a family friend, it doesn't have to be straight to the Father, it's okay if you're a bit scared of that. But um, if you're serious about transistors, you need to start going towards the family. Now when you go to the family, you get to see how she is around her brothers, you get to see how he is around two sisters, I know you're all going to say what if they lie? What

01:01:58--> 01:02:33

did they fake it? What if what if I understand that part. But this way, you will know more than what you will know when you're just you and him or you and her you will know a little bit more. I'm just saying it's a collection of things. This next step is to go and see how family dynamics you're going to have kids in sha Allah knows kids are going to be in the family, the grandfather and grandmother and the uncles and aunts. What are they like? How is their situation going to be? How is their lifestyle? What is the lifestyle of your parents, you're going to know about 40 to 50% more about them and about their environment. You don't have to go for one visit or two visits, go many visits

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as many as you like, go 2040 50 Whatever insha Allah along with that you do your research on outside of the house, ask about them, check the social media, ask friends, do your research, get someone else to ask about and what are they like what's their past like?

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Brothers Sisters, you're more likely to to be safer this way. And more clearer than just going out for six months or a year, or three months or four months together alone until the attachments in the relationship the emotions start coming together. And then later on, you're going to find out things that you wished you would have known before. You're not the same around this person as you are around your family around your friends around your brothers and sisters. I know a brother, he regretted big time, he got to know this sister through a cousin. And he thought before going to the Father because two serious men are gonna meet her Where did he meet her she goes to a uni certain

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university, there was a barbecue day and you went over there and met her or some other event. And you know, they established connection, I exchanged it to other social media

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accounts and just kept going on until they fell in love. It's not really love, love comes after you get married, or these are emotions, right? Emotions were not real love. Love is when you're there for each other and his ups and downs and you've really known each other, it comes to the point where you've come really your strengths and weaknesses and your nice and ugly side and all your everything about us now together and you're there for each other. And you've established those memories over at least two years, three years, four years love starts to come in, if it goes well. But before that run the system is just newness. So you've got to look at what matters for the marriage use your

01:04:15--> 01:04:48

brain. So with the Father, for example, or the uncle or the aunt or the mothers, you get parents to also ask on your behalf. So let's say for example, that the girl has something to say which is too embarrassed to say it to him because when you first meet you're not going to be able to talk about everything. So now you have support maybe she can say to her mom, Look mom, you know you know this I I've had this type of a life for example, this has happened, can you you know maybe have a talk to my dad, he can talk to his dad and maybe they can talk about or maybe the brother he wants to say something to but he's embarrassed so he can talk to her father instead my son and get his father or

01:04:48--> 01:04:59

someone to talk to if the point is the more people you have around you, the easier you're going to be able to talk about things that are really necessary insha Allah plus you get the advice of your parents. Hey, you know it's better for everybody to have a look and shall

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and see the situation rather than you just you and them. Wallahi I did a marriage. I've done many marriages for people who had been together for a very long time. And after I've done the marriage and things got serious Subhanallah they didn't really last very long. And you think to yourself, we've been together a lot, I did a marriage once that there were 21 years together, but not married. 21 years Wallahi after I did the marriage, two months later, they became divorced. So being you know, knowing each other, even living together in outside of her learn, doesn't really solve everything. And then there's that 30 40% 20% Let's say that, you're going to leave and say, Oh,

01:05:38--> 01:05:47

Allah azza wa jal to ALEC. Nothing is perfect. Now, I went on a tangent. But anyway, that's basically a little bit of advice that I wanted to say to my younger brothers and sisters.

01:05:49--> 01:05:50

Yes, brother.

01:05:52--> 01:05:53


01:05:57--> 01:06:06

Yes, good question. So if you have a strong desire to do hudge, or pursue marriage, which one would you pursue first? So in answer to that, brother.

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I'm going to try and not make a long answer because it does depend on certain factors, okay. But without getting too technical. If there is someone there, and you find that your interest is is already there, Hamdulillah. And you do have strong interest and you're thinking of marrying, but you have enough money, or enough support, just to either get married or go to Hajj. So if you went to hush, it's going to delay your marriage and set you back.

01:06:40--> 01:06:50

Right? In that case, get married first, and go later on you and your wife to husband sha Allah understand. So this called IFA

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and that will help you with your worship even better. So getting married takes precedence between has your marriage, even though hush is a pillar, some people may disagree. But you see, hash is something big, it's a great act of worship. And if you're already interested in someone,

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then the longer you prolong that, and if your money that you had to get married with sets you back and it's gonna make you go another six months or a year, the shaitan can get between you.

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So safeguarding yourself this way, takes precedence. So the AMA always spoke about if there is a sin, that is there is a potential sin. And a potential act of worship something extra one decorates you one tarnishes you. They say take care of the dirt, the sin, before you decorate yourself with the worship.

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They understand. And even in our worship, they said is worship better or making us the Father asking God to forgive you? Imam Hassan bursary, the great predecessor said,

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If you wear clothes that are dirty, is it better to wash them first? Or put perfume on them said no, wash them first. So So then make us that far, then do acts of worship? So but if there's nobody in the picture, you're not ready for marriage? You still haven't? Haven't decided maybe a year or two.

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And you've got this bit of money, and you don't you're not sure there's no one in mind. You don't know when you're gonna get married? Man. You're, you're you're not really

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you can you can do without a wife for a few years, then no, go and do your husband show a lot if you can afford it and come back and Shala so depends on the situation without going into too much detail. Brother, Brother is asking Yes, I understood your question. Hamdulillah. It's very good question. The brother is asking this common belief among us that if if we find that the the greater the tests and the sufferings that we go through, does that mean that we are closer to Allah because if Allah tests you more, it means that you are closer. So the scholars have spoken about this and the prophets Allah wa sallam did say, in a shed that Bella and Columbia are the ones who received

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the most tests and trials in this life are the prophets, some men from Melodien, a luna home from Medina, Yolanda home, then those who are closer to them in action and piety, and then the ones after them, so the degree of your piety and closest to Allah and to the prophets, the more the tests, and the calamities naturally are going to be, but we need to understand two things. Number one, if you are not close to Allah, does that mean you don't get tests and trials? No, you will get tests and trials. But the reason why I lost pantalla will give a person who's closer to a lot more sufferings is number one, the suffering and the test has two aspects to it to a believer, a strong believer

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number one, Allah knows that with that extra test, that believer is going to pass that test. And the result of passing that test is raising his or her rank even higher.

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Because Allah wants to raise them higher. Why because Allah is just and on a Day of Judgment, Allah Samantha

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raises people based on the test they went through and how many they passed. So their value rises. So when he sees a strong believer, Allah gives them more kilometers and tests to raise his value. And number two, he knows he'll pass them. And number three, there is a third reason scholar said, they become role models of strength for others. Someone has to go through trials in front of you, for you to take them as role models and they be your strength. So Allah chooses the ones who are closest to him because they can handle it more than people who are not as close to him. So your trials become less, sometimes a Charles are different. You may not go through the same trial. If I went through a

01:10:35--> 01:11:06

different trial, maybe Allah knows I can't pass it. Maybe the trial that I went through, if you went through it, you won't pass so Allah gives you a trial that suits you, I want you to remember something very good question. Any trial you go through know that Allah Subhana Allah knows already that you have the ability to get through it Inshallah, you have the ability, as for the disbeliever, who goes through trials, is because the disbeliever, ALLAH SubhanA, Allah has shown them signs after signs after signs and those who give up on Allah, Allah shows them signs up the signs of signs, it comes to a point where he just gives them up, it gives them up to who he gives them up to the

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natural world. So the calamities they're going through is the natural calamities of the world, and some things which Allah decrees upon them. It's not going to benefit them anything, except in this world, but not in the Hereafter. So this is a lose lose situation. But for the believer who is closer to Allah goes through calamities, it's a win win situation. I hope Insha Allah, that gives you a small summary of it. Insha Allah. So my calamity, okay. Maybe I lost my dad, I knew that I have the power and the ability to get through it. And I can be a role model. In other things, maybe I'll fail.

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And one more thing, sometimes calamities is not what it appears, sometimes it's not losing something. calamitous can be gaining something. So you might gain a lot of wealth, you might gain a lot of health, you might gain a lot of reputation. And now LMS said, that's the hardest of trials. Because if you get more trial, more blessings, what do you automatically think you start thinking that life is good for you, God must love you. When we see somebody going through losses, sometimes we think, you know, they must have done something really bad. If they lose their business, maybe God has blessed them. But if their business goes good, we say Allah, may Allah maybe love them, and

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they're blessed. No, not necessarily. So there is a calamity of being given everything. And it's not going to mean anything. It's just that Allah is just giving you whatever is left in the bottle, you're not going to get anything in the Hereafter, which you can use against the last pantile. Or at Yes, I think we'll just take a couple of few more questions. I asked. Yeah, so this is a common question. How do you know if it's a trial or a,

01:12:36--> 01:12:56

a test? And a trial is a test? Every trial is a test? Even for the disbeliever? It is a test? Will that wake them up? Or not? But how do you know the difference between a trial test? And whether it's not a trial or a test? Whether it's just a punishment for you? Is that what you mean? The whole amount spoke about this and said it depends on your reaction to it.

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How do you face it, it's up to you.

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Allah puts the trial and then you have the opportunity to turn it into a blessing or into suffering a punishment. If you react in a haram way, and resort to haram things and think of Allah in a bad way and continue that way. Then know that that will turn into or it'll turn into a torture and punishment for you on this earth. But it's not Allah who did it, you would have done that. And if you persevere and be patient with it, it will last less. He won't stay as long. The more you go into haram the more it's going to hurt you. The less the more you connect to Allah and a patient with an insha Allah and you do what you can the faster Allah smarter will get you through it. And know that

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this was a test which you triumphantly passed in sha Allah who died. Now.

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A recommendation for a female revert in learning the deen. Well, brother, the best thing we always say is connect yourself to the community. We have here in this question mustard for Preston mustard, for example, a group called Melbourne Muslim who is a group of river sisters and handler they've learned and done courses and we've had sisters who come and join them. We have other groups of sisters here. Actually I think Melbourne Muslim is used to come they come here but they're there online. We have another community of sisters here they can connect with insha Allah and learn. So the idea is connect yourself with a group of sisters and community and shalom brothers and brothers

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should if they're married to them or whoever they're to help them in sha Allah. Go to those gatherings in shallow tile, of course, online, masha Allah we have ample information, I would recommend going to a familiar a unknown Islamic website where and you ask if you have a community can ask which one they recommend. But usually you can tell a well established Islamic website pretty well known and I would say grab series like not just not very not shortly

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devotional talks, I would say grab series and start with the five pillars of Islam. So if you find a series on salah,

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do that and start learning from that. Or if you're right like reading, hit the library and get one about prayer, everything know about prayer, to know about fasting everything to know about Zika. So start with the five pillars. And start also with the six pillars of Eman, believing in Allah, His angels, His books, His messengers, the hereafter, and cover. So six plus five, that's 1111 topics to read about, follow online and listen to the series, sometimes the 1015 30 for example, listen to those things, you're not going to get much knowledge from, you know, the your typical short shorts, like the the YouTube shorts, or the Tick Tock shorts or the Instagram, they don't really do much at

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all, at all. Um, sometimes I have long talks here and we put a little snippet on tick tock or Instagram, and I look at I think, man,

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that's not going to teach you anything. You really and people unfortunately rely on that little two minutes, you need to go it's just the gateway, we put it in there to go to the main lecture. So you need to listen and write notes and Insha Allah, if you have a network, ask questions. So don't just rely on yourself inshallah. That's basically the in a nutshell.

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So Brother is asking what advice can I give to a brother wants to represent himself and go to ask for a sister's

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hand in to get to know her in in a halal way from her father. So I just want to take a step back. Now, you don't always have to go to the Father. You can go to the mother and go to the aunt, you can go to the uncle, you can go to the brother, you can go to the cousin, you can go to a family friend if you know them. All right. I know brothers who know other brothers who know their cousin and they entered in that line. But eventually you need to go to the house because that's the respect. My first thing is learn about the culture, whatever country they're from learn about how their culture is, what is the best way of going to so customs and traditions are important. You need to learn

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their culture, the Lebanese, they've got a culture there of Garni they've got a culture, whether they're Somali or they're Israel and the African type they got Egyptians have their own way the Asians have their So learn brothers and sisters the culture and ask a little bit what's the best etiquettes then when you go there as a brother,

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be yourself you walk in with your head high.

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You don't have to take any gifts with you, depending on the culture. And if you don't have anybody with you, my advice is that if you have a father or an uncle or some old, elderly or older person in the community to take them with you, it shows more respect. But if you go yourself here in Australia, we have so many cultures, you know sometimes knocking on a door is really appealing to the Father say well, mashallah is a man. So you can go or probably get their number somehow give a call make an appointment. So I'd like in my name is so and so. And honestly, I've had the acquaintance of people recommending and referring to you. And I would like to come and have a cup of

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coffee with you. Where do you know me from whatever say, I'm a person who's looking for marriage, and I heard really good things about your family. Test the waters like that. So you're going to, if they welcome you, then insha Allah go there, and sit down and chat with the with the father or

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any family member there. Let's say they don't have a father, they have a mother, for example, let's say the father has passed away or he's not around or anything like that. If you have a second person there, there's a mother and the aunt, for example, it's not considered seclusion. It's not considered seclusion. Seclusion is just you and another female alone. So you can talk and introduce yourself, that's the first the first thing you do. So I say the men introduce yourself, my name is so and so. And I heard that you're a good family. And I have interest in marriage and Hamdulillah. And I've come really just to take the first step to see if you would consider welcoming me to get to

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know who I am and my family and I get to know you in sha Allah with the intention of insha Allah honorably getting to know your daughter for marriage. So you start off like that you break the ice and shell and I'm sure the ball get rolling from there. It's a test, either for you to learn about yourself, and to grow or it's, and at the same time as a test for your hereafter everything that happens to you as a tester, okay? But remember, it's not just suffering and struggling. It's also comfort, and gaining all of it. We live from the moment you breathe in this world, you live a life of a test for a moment. You reach puberty, you're accountable for your test. I can get him right now

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you're sitting right there. You're sitting right there. And this lecture took long, your back is aching. You got little pins and needles here and there. That's struggling and suffering. Am I right or wrong? But you are patient Hamdulillah you didn't think about it much. And sha Allah when you get up from here, you're going to exercise a bit. Your body is going to get to know one that's how Allah opens the door. But you went through a nice little test

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Insha Allah, you're rewarded for it. But if you sat there and you're struggling to say, Man, when's this guy gonna finish fire? He loves to talk. He wants the attention, then you're gonna bet by me. Suddenly your test you failed. So that's how it is. Maybe I might say, I've been busy I say Look at this guy. He's just acting like his bla bla bla, then me sitting here is a test to me. So yeah, I can carry everything consider everything in life. It is a trial and the test. Even Rasul Allah, Allah wa sallam, he said, and say Muslim, nothing that a Muslim receives, even if it's a bit of worry, a bit of anxiety, a bit of fear, a bit of sadness, a bit of hurt, someone hurt you with the

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word, even the prick of a needle, needle that you get, if you are patient with it and anticipate the reward from Allah, except that ALLAH subhanaw taala compensates you by forgiving your past sins from prick of a needle from a little something someone gave you a duty

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and your patient within Hamdulillah

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you get rewarded. So yeah, everything in your life is a test everything the reverts to Islam. That's a very good question from young brother here the rewards coming to the community and what can we do in the community to help support them really honestly brothers, sisters, I think in our community, there is a short there is a shortcoming from from our end. So

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one thing is done from the community. And the other thing is from the person who's converted to Islam or reverted, so revert does their action by connecting themselves to members of the community, one person or two people that they can get their contact and talk to them Insha Allah,

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the community itself also needs to contact these people. But it's a two way thing. It's like any other relationship, right? Like any other relationship. So the closer you get, the more I see you. The more you see me in sha Allah, the commonplaces of the masjid, the more inshallah we're going to interact in sha Allah Allah.

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The other thing with the Revert is, you don't have to cut off your ties from your family, even if they're non Muslim. Some of them they say, How can I get married? And my my parents are non Muslim? No, yeah, he will. Parents are still part of the whole thing. Can I bring them to talk to my parents and my family? Of course your father, if it's a sister, for example, your father still in the picture? Get his advice. He's still your Muharram. Right? Do you understand what I'm saying? So what I'm saying is, it doesn't mean that you're cut off from your family. But at the same time, like any other relationship, you've got to be around, be present. Anyone who gives you their contact, be in

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contact with them, take a coffee with them. Insha Allah, engage and ask about any events. So 111 Muslim, we have the masjid which connects us insha Allah to Allah.

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I've seen brothers and sisters of converted to Islam reverted whatever word you want to use. They themselves became the helpers and the leaders. So don't ever look at yourself just because you reverted to Islam. You're on the backfoot there are Muslims who are in need of you, you could be coming as a lifesaver for other people. And I've seen it happen many times. So have the right mentality and be strong with that Insha Allah, you can be a leader and I've seen many of them become older man and mashallah from scholars. Some of them became amazing for us with their skills. We need you guys. And you you need us and we need you. And actually we're the same Yanni. We're the same,

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right? There's no real differentiation, but hamdulillah totally.

01:23:24--> 01:23:31

Brother mental health, mental health and what's what's what's what is also called intrusive thoughts in the

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psychologically it's called intrusive thoughts, right? When thoughts come in that are not needed. It's called wasa.

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And mental health is very important in that case, well, Leia, I'll be honest with you,

01:23:45--> 01:24:00

you need to talk to yourself, you need to tell yourself that you don't want these thoughts you need to tell you, you need to decide and say, like this, tell yourself, I'm sick of you thoughts. I'm no longer going to let you occupy my brain.

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There's something called neuroplasticity. Have you ever heard of it?

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Your neurons in the brain, when you get fixated on one thing, they start drawing channels towards and the other ones get blocked. So you need to change, you need to shock your brain. So you need to decide internally and say, Stop, let's say, I will no longer accept these intrusive thoughts to take over my brain. You got to make that decision inside suddenly a channel opens up. But the moment that you say these thoughts, man, when are they going to go? I don't want them. It's like you're weak. You're letting them in power you make the decision and say, From this day onwards, these intrusive thoughts, I will not let them have a place in my brain. So when they start coming, they're just

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they're so they're just this the intrusive thoughts. The moment you make the decision and say to yourself, I will no longer occupy my intrusive thoughts. You will start find it and I've seen it happen hamdulillah work with a lot of people. You start new channels in your brain open up

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then you're able to overcome them. Insha Allah, but the idea is like, you say it in a way where you have no place in my brain anymore. I'm sick of it. I'm no longer going to deal with you. You can come and go as you like, but I'm going to ignore you. So you're no longer fighting with it. You drop your battle with it. And Insha Allah, it's the first step to letting it go.

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I hope Insha Allah, that little tiny tip can help. How does one know that Allah subhanaw taala is pleased with them? This is a very good question, which nobody's going to know the complete answer to it. However, I can give you hints of what the scholars said.

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The first question is,

01:25:41--> 01:25:56

Has Allah set up this life for us to know for sure, if Allah is pleased with us or not? I mean, let's ask that question. Are we meant to know 100% that Allah is pleased with us or not? No, actually, we're not meant to know.

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We don't know.

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Until we die

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until we die.

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Did you not hear the Prophet sallallahu wasallam said, a person may be close to paradise until there's a poem they do the actions or the actions of paradise until there is a permanent between them and Paradise. And then towards the end of their life. They change around they become one of the people of hellfire. And a person may be working towards Hellfire until there's a public between them and alpha and then a change around. They do the action of the action of the people of paradise and end up in paradise. Female Yeah, Abdul. That's what it looks like.

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So what does it mean? That's what it looks like. It means that you've got hidden traits that nobody knows about.

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So there are traits and signs that give you a good indication, but we'll never be sure.

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Allah tells us in the Quran, or for me, no marker Allah. How can I sit there feeling so safe that Allah's plan against him or his Punisher will never reach them? And at the same time, do they give up on Allah thinking that Allah is not merciful? We live our life, the believer? How do you know that you are close to Allah and Allah and SHA, Allah will be pleased with you. Number one, the fact that you do not have certainty. You do not sit there saying Allah is really certainly pleased with me or not. The moment you start thinking, Allah is pleased with me, you let your guards down and the shaitan makes his way in

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the moment you think Allah is always going to punish me, again, the shaitan is going to come in, you're going to let your guards down and then he's going to lead you astray. So you give up. How do you know Allah a sign that you are on the right path so far today, tomorrow is another day. Number one, you live a life between hope and fear. You're not very sure that Allah is pleased with you, but you're also not certain that is displeased with you. It's like an aeroplane that has two wings, one is assurity of his pleasure. One is unsure to have his punishment, and you fly together with them. Hell, so that when you see is the second sign once you've got that the second sign is this needs a

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whole lecture. The second one is this. The moment you see something that brings you closer to Allah can act of worship or an opportunity like a sadhaka, or a charity or a good word or to help someone or a rock or to pray or you feel that you want to read some Quran, you make a vicar or you want to do something of a good deed. You find yourself wanting to do it. You smile and you see it as a good opportunity. You're motivated towards it. It means that hamdulillah there is Allah's pleasure there happening. If you see something that's harder or more sinful or punishable, you find your resented you don't find ugly you find yourself ugly and ugly feeling towards it. Know that at hamdulillah

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there is the pleasure of Allah subhanaw taala with you there. When you remember a sin of your past you don't feel good about it. You know that hamdulillah Allah, this is a sign of Allah's pleasure in you and hamdulillah if you do something bad, and your shame is not there for the time being and then after that bad your shame hits you and you feel really bad about it and you ask Allah to forgive you and know that inshallah Allah is pleased with you. Once you repent to Allah from something bad, and you feel that after that you feel good, know that inshallah This is a sign of Allah subhanaw taala being pleased with you. Another sign is that when you see righteous people and good people around

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you, such as your parents, even if they're not righteous, but even your parents and people like righteous people who like to be around you know that Insha Allah, this is a sign of Allah's pantallas pleasure. So brothers and sisters, these are some of the signs but there is no absolute certainty that Allah is absolutely pleased with you. Or not Rasul salah, Salah Mr. Se, none of you will enter Paradise because of your good deeds. They said not even knew ya rasool Allah said Not even I except for Allah's mercy to reach me. So what are we doing? We're relying on Allah Subhana Allah as mercy. So don't ever be think that you are helpless. You're up there and never ever think

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that you are doomed. But somewhere in between that you live in between insha Allah to Allah. So that's in a nutshell