7 Bad habits to avoid
Channel: Bilal Assad
File Size: 56.23MB
hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Nabina Muhammad and voila early he was sabe Germaine, salaam Wa alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
We're about to enter into the first 10 days of the hedger which are the 10 days before Adel Allah insha Allah. And a lot of the Muslims focus on the ritualistic side of the, the 10 day that of the hedger. In fact, we focus on the ritualistic side of nearly every act of worship that we do.
And that is amazing. But it's only one part, the part which we
need to focus on more, or on top of that
is the benefits and the fruits of why we practice these ritualistic practices. Why do we pray? Why do we fast? Why do we go to Hajj? Why do we pay zakat? Why do we have our aid? And why are they these special days that Allah subhanaw taala has assigned for us and chose them for us? What's the purpose of them? So obviously, we all know that in Allah in the first 10 days of the hedger, they are the best days to Allah subhanho wa Taala and the entire year.
The 10 Nights of The of Ramadan are the best nights, the 10 days of the hedger, ALLAH SubhanA. Allah swears by them. And among the rituals that we do is it's good to fast it's good to give more sadaqa it's good, good to pray more. It's good to recite more Quran and make more DUA and it's the far it's good to make the old here as well but qurbani at the end of it. And it's good to also practice the Sunnah of not cutting your nails in here if you are the person who is going to do the quarter Barney that will tear. However, these are all the ritualistic sides, all Muslims, none what I want to talk to you about today brothers and sisters. What I'm going to talk to you about today is what is the
fruit of all that
and the way I'm going to address it is to talk about the verses of the Quran. In surah Taha gerat surah Taha gerat for about one whole page, Allah subhanho wa Taala talks about our Muslim practices that we're supposed to be doing in our day to day life. They are the reasons why we pray and fast and so on. And that is to perfect our character, and to improve our values that we practice, especially among one another. And before I begin, I remind you of the last sermon of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you all heard of the last sermon. At the time of the Prophet peace be upon him when he went to Hajj. He only went to Hajj once he was able to. And in that last sermon, he
stood to give the hotbar in Arafa, a place called autofill, for those of you who've been to Hawaii know what I'm talking about, and he said in last sermon, had just threw it out.
He said that the blood honor, the blood, the honor, and the dignity, the blood, the honor, and the dignity and the wealth, the property of every Muslim upon another Muslim is a sacred as this month that we are in, he was in the hedger as this land, sacredness, which is Makkah
as this day, which was the day of Arafah, meaning that the Muslim, his rights and their rights are far more important than the Kaaba itself, then the sacred month itself.
Not only that, the rights of every person, even the non Muslims,
is a huge
and serious duty, that if we were to break it,
and oppress anyone, Muslim or non Muslim,
then this is called volume.
Volume, which means oppression.
Even if we wrong,
an animal, a bird, an ant. It's called Jordan. The hadith is in Buhari, where a Prophet sallallahu wasallam said, a bird.
A bird will go to Allah on the day of judgment, because Allah will raise all the humans or the jinns, even the animals
and the bird will say, my lord, my lord, your slave, so and so killed me with no purpose that he needed with me.
A bird will confine Can you imagine that?
entered Hellfire because she trapped the cat and did not feed it no let it out to eat from what God had given it. The hadith isn't Buhari. Another woman entered paradise
as she repented from a major sin all her life
And the only good deeds you could come across was feeding a dog that was thirsty.
What about them to human life?
The non Muslim life and the Muslim life. So let us dive into these verses of the Quran, to which I encourage my brothers and sisters to focus on them in the first 10 days of their hedger, and hopefully you can develop a better habit and come out of them with a new, refined you just a little bit, because we're always improving on ourselves. Nobody is perfect.
Allah says in Surah Al gerat, which is surah number 49. And we'll begin with the following verse. How do we let him in a shaytani R rajim Bismillah R Rahman urine Rockne
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The mean? So this is the first verse to investigate quickly. Allah subhanaw taala addresses the believers, who you who believe meaning that since it's the Quran that's being recited to you, who is the one that is most likely to pay most serious attention to Allah's words, the believers because you believe in Allah's words, Therefore Allah is addressing you. And it is a kind of value. He's valuing you, when Allah addresses you, He says, Yeah, Are you her own people of belief, this is an honor and the respect that Allah gives to the believers, because you listen to Allah's words. So Allah addresses us in an honorable way. And then says, You are the ones who will listen mostly to
this. So listen carefully, because I want you to be in other words, Allah is saying that you are the role models, if you don't do it, who is that's what Allah is saying, since you are believers, I want you to be among the better ones.
If there comes to you, if there comes to you,
whom you a person of
corruption, a person of corruption or there isn't a perfect word for in English, a person of
a person who is not known to be of justice, and fairness or a person who has come to you, whose words
are not clear, they are ambiguous or they are doubtful. So this is the type of person that comes to you with such news. When they when he or she comes to you, with a news about someone or anything, then verify it and clarify it.
So that you don't accuse someone falsely. And then later on become regretful over the accusation that you made based on not verifying and clarifying
a few points I want to make about this verse. First of all, who is a corrupt person? Some people say that, Well, God is saying only a person who's corrupt.
The area, the verse actually starts with the outcome first, second, for those of you who know Arabic linguistics, you will know novel, that Jaya ACOEM, they came to you talks about the action before the person. So it says if they came to you, a person of corruption, Allah didn't say if a person of corruption came to you. So this is an Arabic novel linguistics that you need to understand and that is the grammar is that it's based on it's focused on the action, what is the action, the action is if somebody comes to you with a news, and that news is ambiguous, it's serious, or it's, it's it can cause harm, or if the person who came to is doubtful, or if the person who came to you, you can see
that they are telling you the news, out of emotions, or out of anger, or they're being hasty. You can tell when a person comes to you and says, you know that person I heard this and I heard that you can tell by that tone, by the way that they're approaching. Okay, you got to calm down and think properly. You can't quickly take the news and say it's true.
Or a person who is known
To lie, don't take the news until you verify, or a person who has an enmity with someone. I remember one time a person knocked on my door.
And he had a disagreement with another person. I knew both of them. I knew both of them. Well, actually, not just once it's happened to all of us. Remember, this innocent incident, knocked on my door. He was angry. He was boasting, his face was red. And he was breathing heavily.
You know, so and so he said to me, I need you to judge between you and him. He did this. And he did that to me. Am I in the right or in the wrong? So take it easy come down. Have you finished? says yes. So I can't judge until I hear the other side.
I have to. So I'm telling the truth. All right. All right, you hear it and you watch. I said, I'll watch. The other person came to me same angry, but he did this exact opposite. Now in this situation, brothers and sisters, I cannot take the information from either of them.
Because both of them are bringing me news about the other person with rage. With not thinking it's no rationale or grounds to what they're saying.
So now I need witnesses, I need to investigate, I need to verify I need to ask questions. I need evidence or to reconcile between them. Do you understand? So first of all, you got to look at a few things, brothers, sisters, if a news comes to you about someone, the first thing you got to do is this. Are you the right person to be judging and helping them and verifying you? Or are you a person who is better for you to stay aside and refer them to someone else? This is the first thing I want to tell my brother and sisters. Not everything. Not everybody has to go and clarify and verify. Every little thing you have to verify No, I say to you, if you're going to be that type of a person
who has to verify every little detail. You've got an obsessiveness man, you got some OCD, that's a problem.
That's a problem. That's the type of person who could have insecurities, and will not trust anyone because he himself doesn't trust himself. Got to verify everything. So look at yourself and think, am I a person to verify? Am I the person to judge? Do you have enough knowledge? Do you have enough wisdom or experience?
So you got to also think, are you the right person? That's the first thing. The second thing? Is it a matter that you do you need to verify? Like, is it so serious that you need to go and investigate and ask? Because if you investigate and ask you may make this matter even more serious? Is it a minor matter or a serious matter?
So these two things you got to be very careful about. And then when you verify and clarify, it's in order to reconcile to make things better, or to bring the rights of people back in sha Allah. So Allah subhanaw taala says, don't just accept news that comes to you that is serious. From a person who is either corrupt is known to lie or is known to be a criminal, or a person who is who's who comes to you that has an enmity a personal motive, or a person who comes with you angry and ambiguous and not putting their sentences together. They're not adding up you got to clarify, you got to verify if you are in a position of responsibility or you're in a position where you can help
and if the matter can be resolved by you getting involved, you have to verify and clarify and to Cebu, Combi Jaha Allah because you might accuse someone out of ignorance what is ignorance here? ignorance means that you don't know the information fully out of ignorance means that you have you could have misinterpreted what you heard from the person because people when they come to you come when you say something to someone, you see it from your own perspective. Am I right or wrong? Sometimes when another person sees it, they may see a different perspective to the situation. So are you misinterpreting it? So Ron sisters, I know this, this topic is very important, very dangerous.
It's if a person doesn't, is not careful with it, because this is what you this unites people is what causes tension between people, probably even killing murderers. It can cause divorces, it can cause children to run away. It can cause people to abuse others it can cause all sorts of dangers, when we don't verify information. And especially in our time on social media. Everyone is so quick to write and judge things men. Why just because they can.
You don't know what kind of damage it does Wallahi i It troubles me a lot when I see a lot of
people that just quickly and immediately go to the comment section to write something. Just be careful what you're going to write.
And the shaitan gets to them they get too proud to delete it after that. No.
So you're causing harm you're causing damage.
And Allah says in the Quran myofilament Colin Illa de Hiraki when it not a single word does he utter in other words or right or signal except that there are two angels one is ever so watching one if it is ever so witnessing
writing everything that you're doing. So be careful brothers and sisters don't lose your hair after for a few words of driven by ego and motives, my brothers and sisters, let's move on to the next verse. Now I'm going to skip the next couple of verses because they involve wars and fighting between Muslims. But I'm going to focus on one thing, it's called reconciling, it is in the next verse, Allah subhanaw taala says
me no no one in me no one
else veiner awake or more dunkel more Hello and welcome to Warhammer.
Allah says, As a matter of fact the believers are brothers and sisters. So reconcile.
set things right between your brothers and sisters, and have fear of Allah that you may be shown mercy.
have fear of Allah so that you may be shown mercy. In other words, have mercy on your brothers and sisters in the way that you accuse them in the way that you assume about them in the way that you treat them in the way that you look at them in the way that you speak with them in the way that you deal with them in the way that you promise them.
If you do that, that's a form of mercy and goodness from you. Because you fear Allah, what do you get in return? You get Allah's mercy.
If you want to know how do I get Allah's mercy, one of the ways is as Rasulullah sallallahu sallam said, there are hameau to hameau give mercy you will be given mercy. That is how Allah gives you mercy. Do we not recite Rahman Rahim in every raka in Salah every day Smilla rahmanir rahim. hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen or rahmanir rahim. If you didn't get it the first time Allah make sure that you go to the second time that Allah is Allah Hamid Rahimi. So if Allah is Rahim, you should give it to him that you should give mercy to people.
And Allah subhanaw taala calls us brothers and sisters.
You know why he calls us brothers and sisters? tell you why. If you think about your blood, your biological brothers and sisters at home.
Let's give you an example. If they are harmed in any way, don't you feel harmed yourself? Because they're your brothers or sisters? Yeah.
If your brothers and sisters fall into a crime, and let's say it's their fault, doesn't it still hurt you as their brother and sister hurts you if they're going to prison?
If your brother and sister is in pain or in hospital does not hurt you, your true real blood brother and sister. And another thing if you heard someone talk about your brother and sister, isn't it as if they talked about you? And if someone praised your brother and sister isn't as if they praise you? I always use this statement that I think it was my uncle and my cousin told me. He says Listen, backbiting Your cousin is like spitting upwards. Put your head up and you spit. Where does the saliva go? If you spit upwards, comes back in your face. So family to one another are invested. Whatever happens to them is going to happen to you, or he's going to hurt you. So Allah wanted to
use that and says to us, all of you Muslims, all of you believers, our brothers and sisters, what hurts your brother and sister and Islam hurts you. Backbiting them's like the back bet you.
You defend them you stand up for them and if they do wrong, what do you do? What does the brother and sister do if they saw their brother and sister doing wrong things? What do you do?
What do you do? What is the Muslim do? What does Allah Subhana Allah order us to do? What does the Prophet sallallahu Sallam order us to do?
You see your brother or sister doing something wrong? You have to change it right? I mean, c'mon Karan failure a year ago whoever review says a wrongdoing should change it correctly. And there is another Hadith which is even more specific, which says on sort of a hookah volumen home of lumen, assist and support your brother or sister whether they are the ones in the wrong or whether they are the ones in the right. They say the rasool Allah, how do we support them when they are in the wrong? What do you mean in the wrong we go and help them bash that guy while they're in the wrong? Rasul? Allah sallam said no, by stopping him or her from continuing in there wrong. That is what a brother
and sister does. You stop them from continuing in their cheating continuing their lying, continuing in their betrayals, continuing in the harm of others
wrongfully earning you stop them. This is how you help your brother and sister. You save them from the fire save them from harm. So my brothers and sisters this is what Allah
Tyler says Then Allah says,
so set things right between your brothers. What does that mean? Asleep who asleep home means to fix? It's the opposite of
Salah is the opposite of facade, facade means to break and corrupt, a slur fix for sad, breaking corrupt. And these are the two vices in the Quran. Allah says Allah Who loves the Muslim women, those who fix and he dislikes them obviously don't those who break and corrupt. So if you are brothers and sisters, and you have a problem with your brother and sister, or you have a problem with another Muslim, what do you do? You got to try your best to mend the situation between you two as much as you can. And there are priorities as well. If you are related by blood, that is the biggest priority. Father, mother, siblings, cousin, uncle, aunt, nieces, nephews, these take
priority, because you share the womb of the mother, and then the neighbor and the rest of the Muslims. And if a person is good to you, even if it's a non Muslim and good to you, you should also mend the situation between you and them. If there is wrong being done.
So I'll slip obeying awaken. So you yourself, try to mend the situation as much as you can. Some people say well, what if I can't?
Well, if you can't you tried your best. Allah does not look at the outcome. Allah looks at the
effort, and this and the sincerity and the intention. Allah does not look at the outcome. Allah looks at the effort, the intention and the sincerity. What if you're going to harm me, and I'm going to fix and they're just abusing me say, Well reconcile at least the minimum, see how far you can get where you stay safe. The point is, it's not make or break all or nothing.
I'm sure not everybody is that evil? There is some people can get a bit closer a bit further. Sometimes we teach young teenagers, how do you make friends we say, draw a circle, small circle in a bigger circle outside another circle outside and the fourth and a fifth. So the bigger circle on the outside is the furthest away, see where you're going to put each person in that circle? Each one belongs in a circle and decide how close you will interact? Who will you tell the secrets to Who will you not? Which ones do you get close to? How far would you get close to them? Right? The ones in the inner circle are the closest you got to be very careful with them. They are the ones who
you've studied. And they have invested in you the closest ones usually will be family members, it'd be your Mum and Dad, for example. And for some people, it's not even their mum and dad, Allah and Western Allah help us but in general, so you got to see what everyone fits. But at least at least at least, if a person says salaam Wa alaykum you're not talking to them, you have to say why aleikum wa Salaam and then walk away and not a problem. If they sneeze and say Alhamdulillah and you're not talking to them, you have to say humko Mala. If they die, and they they die, and you can go to their funeral, go to their funeral, if they got sick and ended up in hospital and you're able to send them
a quick message and get well soon or send a message with someone else. A Muslim is not that stingy and evil brothers and sisters, we have a soft heart.
But unfortunately, shaitan loves to create enmity and shahada and egos and just puts a block to us all the time. And the person who really suffers the most is you and I, we are the ones who the person is probably not even thinking about you. You're not even sleeping all night.
Now, I'm not saying you have to forgive everybody. Forgiveness is a right, that is yours. If somebody has wronged you, and you want to forgive them, and they do they have wronged you. It's up to you if you want to forgive them or not. But you've got three situations. Either you forgive them
Allah will compensate me. Or you say I don't want to forgive them. I will take my right on a day of judgment. Or I don't want to forgive them. And I want my right here now. And I will not stop until I get it. You have a right in all three circumstances. And there is a fourth circumstance which is it is either disliked or haram to forgive someone forbidden.
In what situations, it's when there is a person who's taken a right or takes the rights of others or taken your right. And this person has a habit of using people's niceness and goodness for your religiosity and says Are there religious people I'll just keep, I'll keep calling them. They have a they're con artists. If they're used to that and they're used to people forgiving them, then it's haram for you to forgive them. You must get your right and teach them a lesson even no matter what stakes so
Islam is not about turning your left cheek to everybody. Law. Islam is also about standing your ground and not getting conned from the same hole twice a Muslim is also smart and intelligent. And Muslim can be streetwise as well. But your fear and just a commander from the Romans
was captured by the Muslims the time bomb or the Allah Han. And
he had done some crimes and killed and murdered, so they put him to kill him. He was going to be executed. And then he said, Can I get a jug of water? They said yes, you can get a jug of water he says, Am I safe and you won't kill me until I get a jug of water honorable cop said yes get him a jug of water instead. But I need a big jug with the thick brass and everything. That's how we're used to because I'm a commander. I'm from the Persians from the Romans and we drink like that. Anyway, he got him this this brass and then he acted like he dropped the water on the floor. And he said up You can't kill me. You promise me safety until I drink the water and hence I have not drank
the water yet. So the Roman king was trying to trick honorable hotdog, conning him into this tricks. trickery. Omraam hottap said let's do Bill hope. Well, a little boy, Donny, I am not a con artist. But I will not let a con artist con me executing. It's like, you're not gonna fool me like this. So I'm not saying but then what the Roman commander said he gets a shadow in La la la animonda Rasulullah. He said the shahada and he converted to Islam at least in open. And on record, Bob said the Prophet sallallahu Sallam commanded us not to judge the people's hearts, we can only judge by what is apparent. So I have to go with that you're a Muslim Now judging by them and they let him go.
So he repented and you let him go, but he never kept his eye off him. And even when I'm gonna help Bob was murdered by the assassinated by the
the Abdullah Abdullah Al Jarreau. See the fire worship at the major and they even suspected that the Roman commander because of the way he was acting, he wasn't genuine in his actions that he could have also helped him to assassinate him but nobody acted upon it.
Until after the death of Amara, the Alana there's a long story. But the point is brothers and sisters, we are not people who just sit there and let people con us. You got to use your brain to
what was your question? If he
forgot? Okay, we'll get back to it. So we'll move on to the next one. Insha Allah Huhtala
the Prophet salaallah alayhi wa sallam said a Muslim is a brother to the other Muslim, he does not treat him unjustly. He does not leave him alone. And he does not dishonor him enough evil it is to devalue
your brother. The hadith is a Muslim. devaluing your brother means to look down upon them, no matter how they dress, what their status of wealth is, no matter where they come from their color, their race, their agenda.
Muslims don't look down upon others based on these things. Even in the form of religion, we cannot use religion, to claim that we are superior to others.
Some people do that they use their religiosity
to make it look like they're superior to others. Like as if God loves them more, they're more religious, they be it is longer, their hijab is nicer, this alert is better. Their fasting is more righteous, they go to the masjid more often. They give sadaqa more so they think they're more privileged. This is haram to to assume that for the prophets, Allah said and did tell us in the hadith is also in Buhari, that he said a man said to another man, Allah will never forgive you. A man Muslim man said to another Muslim man, from the children of Israel, he talked about it says he said to the other one, God will never forgive you. Meaning you don't deserve to be forgiven by God.
Mohammed Salah Hassan says, telling us of the future in the day of judgment, He says, so Allah telling us about the future now. So after they died, ALLAH SubhanA wa ala, I'll use the word will or he raised them and said, Man, her the lady at Allah Isley, who is this person who is making a judgment in my name. He even said, Well law he he made an oath and making an oath by my name, that I will not forgive him. He said, Take I have forgiven him, take him to Paradise, and this man, take him to the fire because he made himself a god. The hadith is authentic.
So we cannot even in religiosity, Allah says in the Quran, in Surah tokamak Fela to the goose,
For those that go
full circle home
RubyMine it down all. Never praise yourselves
in piety, it is he who knows who truly is most pious.
The next verse Allah says
Lavina Gula yes Hong Kong Hong
a goon or
mean home. Orlan is
mean Nisa in Nisa II
O believers, and not and let not a group of you men, scoff and insult another group of men. It may well be that the latter group of men at whom they scoff, and insult are better than them. And no, let a group of women scoff and insult another group of women, it may well be that the letter the other group of women, that you are insulting are better than they are.
If you realize the first thing, a lot of talks about groups.
And the second thing you realize a lot of talks to men separately to women.
And the third thing you realize is that maybe the ones you're insulting are better than you.
And three, three things that we look at here.
And then we say scoffing and insulting. Obviously, we all know what Scotland insult is to say words and things to other people to make them as if they are lower than you and you are better than them or to make fun of the looks or the intelligence or the actions or whatever it is, obviously, these are motives, personal motives that people do. The first thing is they see they are groups. Allah didn't say individuals, if one person scoffs that another, if it was individuals, Allah subhanaw taala would have mentioned just individuals without gender. And he mentioned groups because the norm is
people tend to taunt and make fun of an insult another group bully them when they are in groups, often people, they look for support in order to insult another group of people. And usually people group themselves with their likes, who support their idea and their insults.
Isn't that true? Go on social media, in school, at work in the family anywhere you go among friends.
Those who like insulting and have insecurities in themselves, those who like to put others down because usually it's because something's wrong with them. They're not happy with themselves. They're in fear a lot enough. They've got to find supporters, they gotta find groups. So usually people get into a pact. In order to insult another group.
It happens as I told you in different places, bullying tactics, getting together and grouping.
So ALLAH SubhanA, Allah says, Don't get into groups of insulting others, and maybe the group that you are insulting is actually better than you in the eyes of Allah.
The second thing we notice is Allah Samantha group men and grouped women by themselves, you know why?
It's because in a Muslim society, in a in a typical Muslim society,
the norm is that non Muharram men and women so remember, I talked about Muslims last week. So men and women are not related to each other do not ordinarily mix together alone, such as the way friends do, or casual sitting together, often closely interacting, unless the Muslims are present with them, such as the husband or brother or father, on condition, the hijab is observed, of course, and respectful interactions is observed. That's when you can sit together if the Muslims are there, although it is better to separate if you can, and saying this. So therefore, if you look at a Muslim society, people didn't men and women didn't sit in groups like that, really, they would go out into
the market. And you can see men and women walking by they would go to the masjid, a woman would come out of her home. We're not saying that there's no there was never ever mixing. There's mixing between Muslims, men and women and non Muslims there is, but we're talking about private meetings without mahomes and casually sitting together alone. This was never a thing until this day and age. So last night, I mentioned them differently because it is inconceivable that men would mock women or the women would mock men in an assembly. It wasn't a norm. But now we have to say, men and women together. That's what it applies to our context today.
The next verse, Allah subhana, Allah says
While Meizhou Oh,
fossa Kumala zoom, all the big surly small for zoom.
Amen. All my Lamia to
hormonal hormonal first.
So Allah subhanaw taala he says, Do not revile and belittle one another, nor revile one another by nicknames an evil thing to gain the Toria tea for ungodliness after belief, those who do not repent are indeed the wrongdoers. What does this mean? You know, some people they will insult others to their face, and others they'll insult others behind their backs. One is in front direct one is passive. Have you ever heard of passive aggressive when a person makes fun of in a passive when you don't know what hit you? They make signals that make signs they send messages, secret science, secret messages, right? They they make fun of you in a way that it's not direct. So Allah says when
I tell him is what I'm for second, don't belittle each other by these different means. In another verse in the Quran, Allah says Whelan liquidly hummus at illumise whoa to every home as a normalizer. And this is Allah separated the two words which mean the same thing but one home as a means to means to insult someone to their face. And Lomasa means to insult someone passively behind their back or subtly with signals. So for example, some people they they make expressions, facial expressions, which other people can see and know you're putting that person down
or the finger
or some other gesture, putting others down because of your insults and motives
are directly insulting to that some people that say well, I'll insult them to their face.
Masha Allah it's a very smart comment you may think smart I'll insult into their face. Okay. I got two problems with that the first one is if you're insulting to their first way insulting and behind their backs, mashallah, how brave you are and number two insulting to their face doesn't make you any better. Allah smarter also forbid. Would you like people to insult you in your face? Yeah, I'd rather people insult me to my face than behind my back. You're just talking rubbish. Really? Nobody likes that. And in a society it's not good. Would you like your husband, your wife, your children, your parents to insult you to your face? Is that nice? Is that good? Is that brave? Is it to
encourage each other to insult one another so long as to your face? This is wrong. We are not a community like that.
So Allah Subhana Allah says Don't even call each other nicknames, not nicknames like good nicknames. In Islam. It's encouraged to call each other nicknames that your friend or family likes, or salsa salaam called
lots of Sahabas different beautiful nicknames about here Abu Hurayrah he called Aisha Dona Ana ich Palmyra he called the other Abdullah of Nakahara was called Abu Bakr Radi Allahu Allah and so on.
Oliver Delano, Cebu Torah, beautiful Abu Jana
all these beautiful names, but reviled each other with nicknames being put downs, to call each other names that degrade them that insult them.
And one of the nicknames that is forbidden in Islam and is called a major sin is when a person nicknames themself
as the son or daughter of another men whom they know is not their father.
Some people this usually happens in adoption. In Islam, you cannot
say so and so is my real father when you know they are not your father. And when you know someone else's your father, this is a major sin and I've seen it happen in marriages, where some
Muslims they hate
their dad, for example, or their dad is absent from their lives or
they just been told bad things about their dad and when it comes to the marriage or ask for the father suddenly want to be called by my father in a wedding want you to call me by someone else by the stepdad or by the uncle or by someone else. This is a major sin because it's as if you're saying you were born on the streets.
You don't know who your identity is, is your identity. So I lost my Diala funds that tells us is a major sin. Next, my brothers and sisters will move on quickly. Then Allah subhanaw taala says
Danny Buka Thea, um, you know one in about above one Ethan.
Oh, you who believe. Avoid much. Avoid acting on much. Avoid acting on them.
jority of your suspicions.
Indeed, some suspicions are sinful. What does this mean?
It means that we naturally, always suspect that's normal. We're always judging people inside.
You know, when they say don't judge others, we say yeah, it means don't act on the judgment, without proof and clear evidence, but everybody naturally biologically,
involuntarily judges inside their brain.
Allah is not that is not telling you don't assume. He's telling you the assumptions that you naturally have, that normally come to you
avoid acting on the majority of them. Because Allah is saying the majority of people, their assumptions about someone else, the majority of their assumptions are often wrong. So don't jump to conclusions, then act on them. Acting on your assumptions. So what do you do? Allah says, first of all, if what you're assuming about the person, is what the scholars tell us, and they've seen what you're seeing from the CETA, we understand this, if you're already what you're assuming about the person.
It has no grounds, has no rationale. Or it's not serious.
Ignore it. Don't go acting on it. Don't go hating, Ganga, judging and accusing and calling names and all that stuff. Don't act on it, and continue to have good assumptions
about people who are known to be generally good.
I have my brother over here who is often I see him in the masjid is normally good. i He is normally honest, he trades with people with a nice face. People like him as a good reputation. There's nothing tremendous about him. And then I see him for example, go outside of the masjid. And then he takes the shoes of someone else doesn't take someone else's shoes.
Now the shaitan will come to me and I'll assume
that person oh my god, I knew these people come to the masjid. While be afraid of them, these guys that disguised in sheep's, wool sheep's clothing. Look at him, he went and took someone else's shoes he stole. They do tell me about shoes and massages, everyone steals their shoes. This is the assumption that will go to my head, right? Not me, but it can happen. Is that rational
to accuse him of stealing?
Ah, it could be that he's stealing. But it also could be that he made a mistake, half half in that situation, avoid that suspicion. Now, I'm going to give you four instances of suspicions, that once we act upon those we don't, there is suspicion and judgment that is necessary, such as if you're a judge, if you're an authority, you're a person who needs to settle and judge between people because you're in a position of authority and justice, you must find out and then you can base assumptions and start to verify assumptions go through them. The next one is when you're dealing with somebody. And by dealing with that person, you're going to be harmed if you don't verify your assumption. So
the person you're going to be harmed, so you're dealing with them with money or something like that. And some of their actions have made you have given you a cause to assume that they probably could lie to you, or cheat you in any interaction, whether it's marriage, whether it's business, whether it's trade job, going on travel anything, then you can act upon it by what by verifying and finding out if you can't trust that person, right. The third one is when the assumption is half half, you can go this way or go that way. Like the example I gave you about the person taking the shoes. You can go this way or you can go that way. I'll give you another example which can go this way or that
starts to stay in her room more often than usual, for your son.
Now you've got an assumption in your head naturally.
You're a bit scared for her or him. What are they doing?
Is she talking to boys?
Is he looking at things you shouldn't look at?
Has she got some kind of boyfriend? Has he got a girlfriend? Is he doing drugs? If you've got no rationale is this you've got no grounds to think like that. Then that assumption. Don't act on it. Because it can go the other way too. Maybe it's just they've reached puberty. They've got exams. Something's going on in their life. They're a bit sad. Maybe they're upset. Maybe they just feel like they need their privacy. Maybe they're changing and developing.
There could be praying there could be reading Quran, maybe they just want to sit down
have their privacy. So it can go either way. Don't act on that assumption
and go in and start
accusing, you will lose your relationship with them.
And the fourth scenario, are people who are sick over time because there were so untrusting of people, they begin to develop an obsessive compulsive disorder, where they assume about everyone and everything. I'll give you an example. They're the types that when they get married,
let's say the wife suddenly decides to look nicer or at home,
go to the gym and get a bit more fit. dress as a bit nicer.
Now husband, he's one of those obsessive people in SAS thinking
she cheating why she suddenly changed. She going out with someone starts bringing her phone looking through it spying obsessively putting cameras, asking people and the other way is true. Sometimes the wife
Why is my husband smelling nice lately? He went out to Meijer and bought a new cologne. I've never he's never put this cologne on.
What's going on?
He's getting new haircut. He's dyed his hair. What's going on? I've never seen this before. Is he cheating? Has he got another woman? Let me look at his phone. Let me get a friend to go and spy on him.
Let me go on his internet. I'll try and steal his accountants, passwords and everything.
Any of these scenarios?
These people the shaitan comes to you in you're acting upon assumptions that really have no real basis. These are just insecurities. How do you deal with them? Communicate, talk,
talk and don't be ridiculing, don't use sarcasm. Just talk, communicate. There are many other ways instead of acting upon assumptions. Now listen to what Allah says next. He says
while just so
immediately after talking about don't assume wrongfully or don't act upon wrongful assumptions, Allah then says do not spy does anyone know what Allah says do not spy immediately after saying do not make false assumptions.
Because the cause of spying is false assumptions. Assumptions are the the main issue and the problem for people to spy, to spy on their kids to spy on their parents to spy on their spouses to spy on their colleagues, to spy on their workers, their employees to spy on their neighbor to spy on everything. These people are based on assumptions. I assume. They're up to something. They're gonna get me. Ah, they're doing crime. I assume they're smoking around the corner. So then the showdown says spy on them. What is spying? Well, that just says what Allah says do not spy. They're just source means to Secretly, secretly seek something private about the person through ways without
their permission to privately and secret to secretly seek to know private information about that person.
without their permission, you grab their phone, you grab the gadgets, they're What's the word for gadgets? The
the tablet, or the whole thing? What's it called big word. Devices, it's only gonna be good devices. And you look through it, or you start setting up cameras, you start and the other way of spying is called the hustle. The Hustle means to pry, to pry, to ask questions to ask other people to
act like you're making a cup of coffee but you've gone in just to eavesdrop these types of things. So both of them are a type of spying and requirement Allah Samantha tells us not sometimes you can do it the hustles you can pry for a good reason, like the way you call Bally's salaam said to his children, go and do the hustles for your brother use of your brother and your other brother. And do not give up on Allah's mercy. This is a good thing. So to go and find out and inquire to find a lost person or to inquire for good that's that's okay. But to pry on people's private lives without their permission for for bad. Or to spy on people spying usually means to find out something bad about a
person to find out about their flaws, and usually these insecurities as well and fears. So
there's just so this is haram in Islam, except in some ways. The only way it's halal is for national security, national security and authorities need to spy in order to protect their people.
And spying is by authorities.
Or in a third situation is when there is a real, a real and well founded reason
that someone is going to seriously harm someone else. Going to seriously cause abuse to someone else. You know, someone, for example is out to get someone so you send someone to spy, to stop the killing, for example, or to stop stuff allow them you know, like sexual abuse or to stop theft and stealing from someone. These are these are very exceptional cases. Otherwise, in general, we don't spy don't spy on your wives. Don't spy on your husbands. Don't spy on your children. Don't spy on your parents. Don't spy on your teachers or your students. Don't spy on us or work colleagues. Don't spy on your neighbor, especially your neighbor. Don't spy on anybody. All of it is haram, my
brothers and sisters, based on doubts that a person has doubts without rationale, doubts, without real grounds is from the shaytaan. Don't act upon them.
I have seen many, many couples, over a text message that they saw breakup a whole family.
He's cheating. She's cheating. How do you know? No, that's it. It's all over. I've seen people, their children become homeless and wrecked because of spying on the phone. Brothers and sisters. Spying is not the means to a good end. So what do we do? use other methods. If you have reason to suspect something bad. You can investigate. You can communicate. You can ask. You can talk. I'll give you an example. Say that husbands or that wife both ways. They've that you suspect that they're talking to someone hack, because they just talk a lot on their phone. So you think I'm suspect they're cheating on me?
All right, can't they get another phone or another number? Can't they hide it?
If you found out? Can't they delete it? Or use some other excuses in line and then meet up with them? We'll talk them in another way. Of course they can.
Spying is not the solution. Don't do something wrong. Because of to find out something that is wrong. It's not going to be a means. Now I know a lot of people can ask a lot of questions about this probably put a lot of comments. But this but what if this one person said but I should know? Because that'll save me 10 years of staying with her or with him and I might as well find out now but you don't have grounds you're suspecting so you go and spy What if you don't find anything enough? What if he lies, you're going to keep going what happens to these types of people? Most often, most often, most often people who spy end up becoming mentally ill something they just can't
get rid of it. And Wallahi brothers sisters, I have decades
maybe 20 years of people coming to me with their problems, not just marriages, families, friends.
And many of them results of spying and suspecting. So I'm not talking from just my head. I'm talking through experience of yours brothers and sisters in our community the reality.
Spying has never led to anything good. In only very rare cases it flipped it.
And I don't want to give you stories now because we may have people in the community who are listening online or who maybe here who may think that I'm pointing at them but I'm not. But I can tell you run sisters that if somebody is cheating on you somebody is doing something wrong. Allah Subhan be patient Allah subhanahu wata, Allah will bring it to you, you will know one way or another it can't always be hidden. If it's that serious, it cannot always be hidden. And if they repent, and ask Allah to forgive them, no change hamdulillah keep keep going. Sometimes you suspect your children don't spy on their phones. Don't spy on their private things unless they're really small.
If a child hasn't reached puberty, a parent has a responsibility to make sure that they're not looking anything bad security and all that you can take the phone and look at it. It's not called spying, but a teenager person who's growing up give them their dignity. Unless there is a reason for you to suspect that's to be grounded reason something showed up someone came to you but the best way to do it is communicate with them brothers sisters, because that's the easy way of losing a relationship with your own children or with your siblings.
You had the Prophet sallahu wa salam and the Hadith of if in sort of barato min Allah when when when the accusation of Aisha Radi Allahu Anhu came about and they said that God forbid she committed adultery with someone and then some companions even started to believe and spread the news and they've got fearing but you've got so bad, but also Salah Salem did not spy on her he shattered the Allah one. He did not spy once, but he communicated with her. She asked to leave and sit with at her parents house as I give you permission you can go she if you want to. And then he went there
and said to ya, Aisha if you have done anything
And then ask Allah to forgive you. Allah forgives if a person admits their fault. She said what have I done? I only complained to Allah as Jaco complained to Allah and she went lift him and went and cried until the last minute I sent down the verse, but the point is brothers and sisters spying is not is the
really really really really doesn't bring out any good
and lastly, Allah subhanaw taala says while Bow Bow, bow bow, your head bow Hadoken me gonna laugh Murphy he made forgetting to move what Duncan long in a long term, wearable Rahim. And do not back bite and gossip about one another. Would one of you enjoy eating the flesh of their brother and sister while they're dead, the eating their corpse night. Allah says, Fear Allah for Allah accepts you to return to Him and He is the Forgiver meaning ask Allah to forgive you from these habits and turn back to Allah subhanaw taala and fix your ways that biting Brothers Sisters is to say something about your brother or sister behind their back or when they are not present something that they
would dislike you to say I repeat, gossip and backbiting in Islam means to say something about your brother and sister in their absence, which they do not like you to say, if you're not sure if they like it or not, don't say it at all. Saying something good about them is okay, so long as they don't mind, especially if they're a friend of yours and you know them. If they give you permission to say something minor bad about them that say you're really really close friends for a laugh. You can do it with their permission, but don't make it a habit. Backbiting even the person who listens on to the backbiting actively is part of the backbiting.
So the one who says it and the one who actively listens and doesn't try to stop them or move away if you can't stop them, move away from there. If you've backed bid someone and gossip about them, go and apologize if you cannot apologize. Go back to the group you gossip and tell them boys and girls I take it back if you wrote it go and delete it. If you said something bad and their reputation is ruined because of your backbiting go and try to fix it make it up to them. Do something if there are people you don't remember who your back because we're all falling into a problem back behind a billion times in our lives can't remember who people were eating their flesh, masha Allah. So how
about we make dua for all the Muslims, brothers and sisters, if we can remember them, make a solder cup on their behalf, make a dua on their behalf and change your ways. And if you know who your back bit and you can't do anything about it, go and talk good about them. So there are many ways that you can fix the gossip and the backbiting my brothers and sisters, but you do know backbiting gossip does cause a lot of problems in our society and community, in families and in every way. So these are the six ways that gossiping is not considered backbiting. He's talking about someone number one is when you know that someone is going to be harmed by someone else. And you warn them about and say
listen, that person does this or that. That's one way to save your friend or to save someone from harm, or corruption. Number two, marriage, someone comes to you to ask you about someone you may know, for marriage, what do they like, and you say something bad about them. But you have to say something good about them as well, that's not considered backbiting because you're helping a person to get married. And to know the person number three business transaction, you're going to enter, enter into a partnership deal with someone and open a business together, we're going to deal with money lending, borrowing contract agreements, and someone comes to you asking about that person in
secret say, Hey, do you know so and so? Are they trustworthy? Are they honest? Did they pay back the money? Do you know if they've ever done business before? Did they cheat anyone? Are they trustworthy? And you say, Well, look, I know them to be trustworthy. But I do know that one time they borrowed money and they just didn't pay it back. So just be careful. That's a form of backbiting gossip, but it's a halal way. Because you're, it's genuine, it's serious. And it's very private, and you're wanting a brother because he's seriously going into a deal with them. And you have to be honest and sure about it. Number four is identity. Sometimes he may forget someone's
name. And the only way you can say and it's important to say so you know, that person, that beautiful person, that lovely person, which one that person with such and such features, and knows features may not be very pleasant to say about people, but you are genuinely seriously trying to identify the person for something for a good reason. Say, Hey, you know, this is really good brother, you can ask about that business
concept, but just forgot his name, you know, the one with the bolt hit, for example, you know, the one would whatever. And then you say to yourself, well, I shouldn't have said that. But that's the only thing I could remember. But if there's some feature that you shouldn't say, but you have to say for that reason, and number five, complaint to authority. So someone's taken your right and you need your right back. You can talk about how that person has wronged you. Remember one person here wouldn't pay the money back to another person back in the days. And here he stood up. He stood up here in front of all the people praying, and he said so and so borrowed from me money i
Been waiting for a year. And he said he's going to come back to a mother and I've got a family to feed is sitting open.
That's allowed. And another person came to me and said that person owes me money hasn't been paying it. That's backbiting but it's halal. But because you're getting back you're right, or to authority or to anybody to give back. You're right that's allowed to Hamdulillah. And lastly,
You want to ask a scholar a share, or a counselor or some expert about how to deal with certain person, let's say a person says, So and so he or she
did this to me and did that to me? Is it halal for me to do this? So you've talked about the person in their absence, but it's for fatwa, so long as it's genuine, you don't have personal motives? Then it's halal insha Allah so these are the six ways So when Allah spent Allah forgive us and Allah Subhana Allah
assist us and guide us to that which is best. He is the old Why's the old Noah immune or Sallallahu novina Muhammad while early or sabe Germaine