The Successful Marriage – Rights of Husband and Wife

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Bashar Shala

Channel: Bashar Shala

Episode Notes

The Successful Marriage – Rights of husband and wife – Khutba -Dr. Bashar Shala 2013-09-13

Episode Transcript

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Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah

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Alhamdulillah he added the Hulk. What he thought NFC was in a tower she wanted daddy Kelly Mati Alhamdulillah he Kala Meza Corrado zacky rune Alhamdulillah Allah Allah, Allah and decree Hila filou wash I do Allah ilaha illallah wa de la sharika la was shadow Anna Muhammad Abdul who are a pseudo Salah who will who will have kalutara who Allah de Nicola de Korean machico Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik Allah, Allah Allah.

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Allah Hamadan, Jamia Sahaba to utter vain woman Serbia humby Santini laomi de Allahumma germana has a German narooma with a farrakhan and in da de De Luca, masoumeh, Allah, Allah Allah, Allah Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah Xena, Amana taco la Hakata Karachi watamu tuna Illa one Tomas the moon NASA Takara Bakula de Vaca comaneci wahida wahala come in has ha ha. Well, best I mean humare Jalan kathira when he Sir, what Taka la la de de alguna de Waal our ham in a la Cana la cumbre Kiba alesina Avenue taco La La ku Colin said EDA coma mela comm where a fella comes in Uber calm. A la hora Sula, who foccacia frozen alima ameba

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hotel Lima, Kunal happens to the Hannah who were to Allah, HIV healer Aziz woman is he and Haleakala come in and Fujiko as virgin Peters cannula, which is in a coma

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in a feeder Nicola is in a coma.

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Allah subhanho wa Taala made it one of his proofs, one of his one of his signs that he created for ourselves from ourselves, spouses.

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And Allah says those spouses the purpose of that creation, Lita, schooner, Ilaha, which Allah Bina Kumar, Rama, that you shall settle in,

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that you will have the tranquility within

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that you will have that happiness with that togetherness with your own spouses.

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And Allah put Alma de

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and my word death

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is one of those words, that is somewhat hard to translate. It is taken from one of the names of Allah subhana wa tada and we're dude.

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And my word death

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is an adjective is it's a noun actually, from that. from that source from dude. It encompasses love and compassion, caring, and nurturing, all at the same time. And then Allah says, and we know one of the greatest attributes that Allah had for himself is our ramen or Rahim, Allah says, between you and your spouse says, Allah put Melinda and Rama.

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And Allah says in the finale, Kayla is in the coma yet a cartoon. Indeed, there are signs, there are proofs. There are a lot for those who want to ponder.

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And as a follow up of the last football when

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our teacher chef yesterday spoke about divorce

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and end

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of a marriage

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that no one wants to get to.

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We want to speak today about what are the elements of a successful marriage? What would make a marriage flourish? What would make a marriage a successful marriage?

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That was the blessing of Allah subhanho wa Taala would not end

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in divorce.

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It would be a sign of Allah subhanho wa Taala it would be a marriage that truly

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blessed wisdom, our death and the regime of Allah subhanho wa Taala because all the clues and all the elements of that successful marriage is not left

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for

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to just play with, it is all right there

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in the Quran, that a lot of yield to us and it is in the Sunnah of our beloved prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. It is all in the teachings of this perfect and complete religion of Islam.

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Because

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the marriage is what starts the cornerstone

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of the community of the oma and that is the family.

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And without a strong marriage, there is no strong family. And without a strong family, there is no strong oma

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and for us to be

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rejected enough for us to be the best. And the mother will bring higher heat to mankind. We have to have strong marriages. We have to have marriages that have Melinda and Rama and have to have marriages that are signs and proofs and models for humanity.

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It is his son

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of all the prophets of the messengers of Allah to be married.

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Allah, Suleiman kadlec wa Jalla, whom is legend with

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Allah says that we have sent prophets, messengers before you, and we gave them spouses and Oriya.

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And when Allah wanted to add them, our father to enter agenda,

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agenda, Allah created for him, our mother, and he said, you and your spouse enter agenda.

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Because even some of the best places, some of the best dwellings, some of the best abodes that Allah created with that spouses.

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With that a happy marriage.

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It's tasteless, it's empty.

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And further house to be full with that mower Dan was the man with the happiness.

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Allah gave us

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a marriage in Islam, that is based on the Quran, based on the center. And that's when the Muslim family starts.

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There are no vows to be exchanged.

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When you see an Islamic marriage, you don't see a husband and a groom and a bride standing there and they start exchanging promises,

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to love and obey until death,

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set us apart etc, etc. And now these vows get changed depending on how politically correct the times are. Why don't we have vows that we exchange in Islam because the Vows are there in the Quran and in the center, because the conditions of that marriage are not up to the bride and the groom to construct it is constructed by Allah subhanho wa Taala it is set by Allah subhana wa Taala and it is explained in the sin of his prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam because when we get married, when the family starts, it starts based on the Quran and Sunnah.

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And Allah cold it means that con la liga, Allah call it a very heavy, very serious contract

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mythique

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It's a covenant, it's a very serious thing, that marriage, it's not something you play with, and the conditions of the marriage, the original conditions of the marriage, not just the manhood the dowry, but the marriage structure is set by Allah subhana wa Tada.

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And they're set by Allah for one purpose and one goal for us to be happy. That mythical leave, that contract is not set to put a burden on the family. It is set to lift a burden from the family, to make the family happy to make the father's the spouses, the husband's the wives happy.

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Allah wants us to be happy in our homes, happy in our marriages, happy in our dunya and happy in our after all. And Allah says the path to happiness lays right there and following the path of Allah and his man

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messenger from Allah hottie he was in them. And that's why there are three essential goals, the essential objectives of every marriage in Islam. And the first one genbu surah. The first shock is to bring happiness in and to repel evil.

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And the second one at our new island, taqwa of Allah pietila is to cooperate on obeying Allah subhana wa Taala, and to have righteousness in the house. And the third

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is to raise the Islamic family

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to have that Islamic family, the Islamic units

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as part of the oma,

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were there whether that marriage brings children or not.

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It still is a very important unit.

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It's still a very constructive unit

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in the community and in the amount of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam.

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And for that, for every contract for every relationship, for it to be successful, for it to be fruitful, for it to be clear.

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There are rights and obligations.

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There are rights and obligations and for each party, to that contract that Allah subhana wa tada described as mythical Elisa as a very serious and very important contract that we enter.

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In our lives, when we get married,

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we have to understand that there are rights and obligations that come with that marriage.

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And those rights and obligations

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are set in the Koran and

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so there are rights

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for the wife, there are rights for the husband, and there are mutual rights for both the husband and the wife.

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And let me start

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with the wife's rights.

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The wife

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and we start with the rights of women.

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Because the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam over and over and over again in his center, and his Hadeeth emphasized their rights

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and emphasized

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why it is important for men who throughout history

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had always the stronger corner and the upper hand.

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We may be living in a time now. Or it's politically incorrect to say that. But if we look at history,

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if we look at the last 1400 years

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wasn't we look at Europe and Asia, China and India, the Middle East and the Far East.

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Most societies,

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men and their families had the upper hand and the Prophet sallallahu wasallam kept reminding men

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that your wives have rights.

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And he mentioned that

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in some of the most important speeches and gatherings and addresses that he had for the honor of Islam.

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Including goodbye to Nevada, and his farewell address is his own individual Wada.

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And also on his death bed salvaterra because

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he needed so clean and so important that it was one of the last things that he told the men of this oma is supposed to be nice.

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It's supposed to be nice.

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It is an agreed upon Hades. Now, Buhari and Muslim it's those souvenirs who

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have higher, higher to woman.

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Have goodness to them. Take care of them.

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And another Hadith

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and head jetten wa The Prophet sallallahu you

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Send them said esto Suba Nisa Hira

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for innama hoonah I run on intercom

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take care of your women take care of your spouses of your wives.

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They're like

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I want is like prisoners like see right

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there just in your houses and you have control.

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Allah in look come Allah nice a compact car. Only nice a Kamala

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the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam laid it out. He said, You have rights upon your women, and you women have rights upon you.

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Here's the key to the successful Islamic marriage.

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He said to him la Haku comme la in LA you Tina Felicia Felicia comenta kahun

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Sophie BeautyCon Lima Taka Hoon wahala Hakuna Alaykum and to see do we like him? Because what he know upon him.

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He said your rights upon them, that no one shall enter your beds. And no one shall enter your houses that you don't like.

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And your their rights upon you that you should treat them well.

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And you should feed them well. And you should dress them well.

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And then the Hadith

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narrated in Muslim,

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a solid Sahih Hadith the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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told the men of this oma

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yes free kuhmo minnow movement

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is I carry him in ha ha Lucan, ro da minha

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are men of Islam.

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Don't

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look for perfection in your spouse's.

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don't

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examine and critique every single aspect of your wives.

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You may hate not like dislike one aspect. But look at the positive side. Look at what you would like.

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And that goes into everything. The physical, the o'clock, everything.

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You may not like one thing, but look at what else that you might like.

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Don't be too critical.

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Don't look for perfection.

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The perfect wife does not exist because the birth perfect husband also does not exist.

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And that's why Allah subhanho wa Taala

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made a rule

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and how we deal with our wives.

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A loss of Hannah in the Quran said while she ruhuna bill Morrow,

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deal with them with maruf was good.

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And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said how you can hire a company as

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well and a hiring

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the best of you is the best of you to his wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.

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And we know the whole of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in his homes. We go to the center, we go to the Hadith, we see how he was the best of us and He is the best of us. And he is the best of creations of Allah Hari he was and we learn from him. How he dealt with his wives.

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He never raised his voice or his hand. He never lifted a finger.

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Despite problems, don't think that the house of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was some romance romantic ideal house that was super human. It was a normal house when problems occurred.

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There were jealousy. There were issues there to the point that Allah Subhana Allah came to the aid of his prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and Allah Himself threatened. The best wives, the wives of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, our mothers

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Writing down was Pollock with divorce, if they don't straighten up, and these are the best women in history,

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our mothers

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so don't think that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam lived a life where he walked into the house and there were no issues.

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The man who had the weight of the world on his shoulders, when he walked into his house, there were issues, the word problems, yet his voice was never heard,

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being loud

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and he never ever left his hand

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upon a woman.

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When he walked into the house, the first thing he did,

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is he cleaned his mouth.

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Better I busywork

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because he wanted to smell well.

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So he can kiss his wife

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and he was never ashamed of that.

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He was never ashamed of declaring his love to his spouses.

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He was asked

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to have danesi la cara Sula, LA, who was the most beloved of people to you or prophet of Allah. And he said

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and then the men who is asking, got embarrassed he said mean originally I mean, of the men Yasuda lied or mean that he said a boo ha her father.

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Her father, he didn't say Abu Bakar

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he said her father.

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He used to play with them. joke with them.

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We know the story when he raised with Ayesha had a little bit of a jogging running race with him. She beat him one time. And then later on, he beat her and he said had he be Tilke. Now I took this this was that

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he wasn't too serious, too harsh when he came into the house.

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And he is to consult with his wives.

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He didn't look at them.

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And he was the best of creation. He had.

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The way coming from the summer from Allah subhana wa Taala.

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There was no one that could compare to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Yet he didn't feel that it would be too demeaning or too much. If he would ask almost Elena. What would she think

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was a problem? When Could they be a came? The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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walked into the tent and she was with him. And the Sahaba were very unhappy with how the negotiation went. And he said to the Sahaba sama Mohan He will send them off and how to

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go just slaughter your Headey and then shave your heads and and the director of the heavyset for Allah Hema calm I mean from Roger on right now one person stood up and did what the prophet sallallahu Sallam did. He said it three times and none of us are happy. They were all very angry. And he walked upon the selama.

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And then she said the rule of law, don't say anything just go out. You slaughter your own head, and then you shave your head and they will follow.

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He took her advice

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and he followed the advice of almost Salomon.

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He was too critical Salalah hottie he was tell him when he walked into his house. Why is this too dirty? wise is to not why are you Why did you not do this? Why is this food not good?

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How many times I have said you have to do this. No one listens to me.

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I've taken all the burden. I'm working all day long outside the house, and you forget what she does.

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When the Prophet sallallahu wasallam walked into his house.

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I just said malba Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam matana he never criticize food ever.

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meant that everything was put in front of him was top notch.

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In a in a color

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and when he was at home, this isn't a Buhari.

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Can

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you send them your goofy magnetic

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phaser Huberty Sala hora de la sala, when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was at home, he was always at the help.

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Helping his household, helping his wife,

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helping the people of the house.

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He wasn't the king in the house.

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Now the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam one day he came to the house,

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he would be exhausted, he would be tired, he would have problems that he would be solving much bigger

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than house chores, yet he didn't think it would be too much for him to help out, stretch your hand and show that loving, caring nature of the believer.

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And if we are to truly say, We are the followers of Muhammad Sallallahu he was saying

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if we are the men,

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the men

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the husbands

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who follow his sin,

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wasn't he men enough? Well, I he's more of a man than any of us.

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And he had no problem.

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in helping his wives in doing house chores, he used to fix his shoe. He used to prepare his own food. He used to help his family. When it's time for Salah, he would go up to sada

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one of the rights of women

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and that is unique in Islam, that wives no matter how rich they are,

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the expense

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has to be upon the husband.

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The husband has an obligation to spend upon the household.

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Even if the wife has money,

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and then that there is a drop.

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The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said dinakaran unfuck the houfy sebelah What do you know on the hoof iraq Kaaba? What do you know? Dr. de la miskeen what de nada

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de nada.

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This is narrated on the authority of Abu Dhabi Aloha and as narrated in Sahih Muslim, that the dinar that you spend feasability law or a dinar, gold coin, that you spend in freeing a slave or the dinar that you give in charity upon a poor person, or a dinar that you give that you spent for your own family.

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The one that has the greatest reward is the one that you spend for the needs of your family. For the needs of your family.

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Woman have rights, he can leave your family in need.

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Even

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hint,

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the spouse of Abu sufian when she came to give back to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam after Mecca. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was taken down from the woman while is broken, and they should not steal. And she said Abu sufian Rajaram backfeed Abu Sufyan is miserly and he doesn't spend on us. He leaves us in need, and I take money from his pocket.

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And the Prophet said take your needs.

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He that's your right.

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Take what you need.

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And another myth is some of the metal the Dow worries Some people think when they put them in a demo room or after that demo, or something the women get only when they get divorced or if they get divorced.

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And Allah subhana wa sallam said, we'll add to nice. So Ducati Takata hinden

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the entire solder part. So the part the entire Dowty, the entire Mahal belongs to the woman.

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If you don't give her the entire thing upfront, one of two things has to happen. She either forgive you clearly without any pressure

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or it is a debt in the neck a debt for the husband. When someone dies that death has to be paid before

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the inheritance is divided.

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The third right of a woman upon her husband is to be shielded from Hellfire

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husbands have an obligation upon their own families. Being a leader in the house having the upper hand comes with an obligation

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that Allah subhana wa tada says, Yeah, you have Latina amanu

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Polycom narrow Roku harness ijarah are you believe she'd yourselves and your families from the Hellfire that is fueled by humans and bye bye stones bye bye Iraq's.

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So the man has an obligation and it is an obligation upon the man of the family.

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To teach his family, Allah flap, Al Makarem, the manners

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to make sure Salah is being established in the house to make sure that the Islamic code of appearance is being established in the house.

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That making sure that Islam is the code of the house

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to make sure that they bet and Amina and backbiting is not being practiced in the house, as long as he knows.

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Allah says what Amala Allah Kirby Salatu was forbear Allah,

00:32:19--> 00:32:22

command your family was Salam.

00:32:27--> 00:32:36

It is the rights of the wives that have to be fulfilled in this marriage, but also the husbands have rights.

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And they have a lot of rights that align His Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:32:47--> 00:32:53

clearly, and the Quran and the Sunnah. And the Quran, Allah, Allah, Allah.

00:32:55--> 00:32:57

Allah, Allah, Allah Hinata Raja

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and they have, they have obligations just like they have rights. Allah says apart the woman was gonna miss

00:33:08--> 00:33:08

Morrow.

00:33:09--> 00:33:19

When you reach le Allah Hinata Raja, and the men have adonijah and this is the controversial donnager but there's really no controversy in it.

00:33:22--> 00:33:23

Because that dadada

00:33:24--> 00:33:28

is that obligation that Allah put upon the man

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and the responsibility that Allah put upon the husband in leading the family. And that has been, we'll be answering before Allah subhanho wa Taala on the Day of Judgment.

00:33:42--> 00:33:48

And the scholar says is the donnager regiondo, Pomona Allah Nisa

00:33:49--> 00:33:52

that the men have kurama custody

00:33:55--> 00:33:56

upon women

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with important things, one of them is what we just talked about

00:34:04--> 00:34:08

the obligation of the man to spend upon his family.

00:34:13--> 00:34:27

And when you have an obligation and a responsibility, Allah gives you some authority to fulfill that obligation and responsibility. And Allah gave the obligation and the responsibility upon the man

00:34:28--> 00:34:41

to lead his family into righteousness and to make sure that the mythique that the contract that the covenant before Allah subhana wa to Allah, Allah put the man in custody of making sure it's fulfilled.

00:34:44--> 00:34:46

And for that, Allah

00:34:48--> 00:34:53

put a right upon the wives to obey the husbands in that

00:34:58--> 00:35:00

and that's when the profits on

00:35:00--> 00:35:30

How to Sell them selling the Hadeeth allow them to come behind the mechanism mark. The best treasure for the man and Marotta sorry, the righteous woman is another la has a lot. When he looks at her, she makes him happy. Why is that? A mother her father? When he asked her when he commanded with something she obeys? Why is the law on her happy and when he leaves her and he's not with her, she preserves him, she keeps him.

00:35:31--> 00:35:42

She protects his honor. She protects his house, she protects his reputation. She protects what he likes. And she does not do what he does not like

00:35:44--> 00:35:46

have you got to feed FC her family?

00:35:50--> 00:35:53

In the Hadith narrated on Abby hurayrah

00:35:54--> 00:35:58

the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam lays the reward for a woman like that.

00:36:00--> 00:36:01

In Morocco, Hamza ha

00:36:02--> 00:36:03

ha ha

00:36:04--> 00:36:04

ha ha

00:36:06--> 00:36:20

ha ha. Beat Allah had Twitty Jenna time in a Barbie handshake. When the woman praise her five times, and she fasts her month from a bond, and she preserves her chastity and she obeys her husband.

00:36:22--> 00:36:27

Allah tells her on the Day of Judgment enters gender enter Jenna from whichever gate you like.

00:36:30--> 00:36:39

So there are rights for the husbands. When they fulfill the obligations and the rights they have the right to be obeyed.

00:36:41--> 00:36:43

And the obedience of Allah subhanho wa Taala

00:36:44--> 00:37:06

and the right of the husband is well is their houses and their honor and their religion their Deen is to be preserved in their houses. For salejaw to quantitate on half is often delayed the Mahaffey the law, Allah says, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Alma Torah yet on fee Beatty, zoji ha.

00:37:07--> 00:37:08

Andra, Yeti her,

00:37:10--> 00:37:19

the woman is in custody is in charge in the house of her husband, and she will be asked, she will be responsible.

00:37:24--> 00:37:44

This religion is perfect. Brothers and sisters, this religion, Allah subhanho wa Taala made this religion so we all are happy and we have happy houses and happy time together. And at the end, we reach Allah Subhana Allah and we enter into His pleasure.

00:37:45--> 00:37:59

So we ask Allah Subhana Allah to Allah to make our houses a beacon of light. An example of happy marriages and happy families upon only Heather was Dr. Allahu la Vina li walakum feha Folsom suffering.

00:38:01--> 00:38:03

Please come forward and make sure your cell phones are turned off.

00:38:33--> 00:38:39

hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam O Allah Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi h

00:38:41--> 00:38:53

there are rights for the husbands, there are rights for the women, for the wives, and there are mutual rights for both of them. There are rights for both that have to be preserved. And that is one of them has

00:38:54--> 00:39:00

to be dealing with one of each other and the best manner and the best way possible.

00:39:02--> 00:39:09

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that you should keep each other's privacy and each other's secrets.

00:39:10--> 00:39:14

You have that privacy in your own homes.

00:39:15--> 00:39:17

And you should not let it go beyond

00:39:20--> 00:39:21

your own households.

00:39:23--> 00:39:31

And Muslim. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in me surely NASA in the law human zealot and yo Mel Kiana arogya do you

00:39:33--> 00:39:36

want to do a two man show? I do man. Sarah,

00:39:38--> 00:39:43

one of the worst people before our law on the day of judgment that our husband

00:39:45--> 00:39:53

isn't it our wives? Isn't it our spouses that we should bring another bill maher off when nahan in Mankato?

00:39:54--> 00:39:59

And if we don't have that with our spouses, how do you think that will be transmitted to our children?

00:40:00--> 00:40:07

If we ignore, I'ma be my roof. And then he Anil munkar within our own families,

00:40:08--> 00:40:14

how are we going to bring it to humanity? How are we going to bring it to our community?

00:40:17--> 00:40:33

The owner said that the sign of a good marriage that the husband practices in his house among them are often Monaghan and mooncup. And the wife practices in her house among the maruf wanna hear Nonnenmacher?

00:40:35--> 00:40:37

When we do that,

00:40:38--> 00:40:39

brothers and sisters,

00:40:40--> 00:40:43

Allah Subhana Allah Allah describes

00:40:44--> 00:41:02

that we become coolness of the eye for one another, we become a source of joy for one another, we become a source of happiness. And it is good to have the believers robina hablan m&ms where Gina was reacting kurata ion

00:41:03--> 00:41:51

Akina Mama robina habla naman as well Gina was reacting kurata ion or giannelli mattina imama. Rob Donna hablan m&s vergina with Ria Tina kurata ion, which subpoena Amanda We ask Allah Subhana Allah to Allah to make our households houses of happiness, houses of righteousness, houses of he man houses the following the son of Mohamed Salah lahardee, who will send them houses that follow the house of the best of creation Mohammed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we ask Allah Subhana Allah to Allah to make our the husbands of this community some of the best husbands of Islam and to make the wives of the community some of the best wives of Islam. We ask Allah Subhana Allah to revive the

00:41:51--> 00:42:28

Sunnah in our community to revive our household, Allahu Millikan handle, turbo, Allah can handle either od or some Allah whom Allah Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi Jemaine Allahu wa sahlan Islam and Muslim in Allah ma li mo molana calamata unhappy with Dean Allahu Allah double Islamic Muslim ina Sharon Aziz and moqtada Allahu Allah double Islamic Amina thyroxine who Allah Delica amin, Allah Malaika dia de Dini Cena home layer, una bella alameen Allahu maj ik de Haan feanor Cody him

00:42:30--> 00:42:32

him yo Bella alameen Allahu

00:42:34--> 00:42:34

Allahu

00:42:36--> 00:42:58

Allahu Allah to Herman Hamada Allahu Malaika demon Solomon muslimeen Allahu la cabina. Beeman Solomon Mustafa feed me that Mr. Amina era Bella el amin, Allah Hamas or if one and F equally McCann, Aloha, Masonic one and and mustafina famous aloha Masonic one and then we'll start eyefinity Philistine Allahu

00:42:59--> 00:43:27

Allah, Allah Allah Ameen. Aloha Masonic one and and mustafina Pizzeria Allah whom I'm sorry one Anna mustafina frequently McCann ner hammer raha mean, Allah humann sorry mustafina daramola one Misaki hon Allah mean Allahumma de Bella Shahada 111 motiva common acromion Allahu Malaika Dr. De Hamada Dini are hamara amin was Salam ala Muhammad, Allah

00:43:29--> 00:43:30

Allahu

00:43:31--> 00:43:35

Allahu manana Luca Asian Hania wa Moulton said we will not

00:43:36--> 00:43:41

fall behind your hammer Morocco Amina Muhammad Rahim era bellami Welcome Sala