This is Love – Hadith 25 & 26

Ali Albarghouthi

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Channel: Ali Albarghouthi

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Salam

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Alaikum eliminare million pharaoh now and finally Mr. Olympia now is it naman autobill al Amin llama in Allah decree kava Shoukry cohosts near a Berta tick,

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a My bad.

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So in sha Allah today we will try and I say we will try insha Allah to do two Hadith today, which is Hadith 25 and Hadith 26. Inshallah, we'll see how it goes. And the reason is because they are very close to each other

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in terms of what they teach, so I thought maybe we could combine them. But if you're someone who is watching this later on not live and you're someone who's

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reading the book while listening to the lectures, or this is part of a study group, you don't have to combine these two Hadith, right? You can simply study

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each Hadith separately, so one per day one per week, as you seem fit. So it's not a recommendation necessarily that you should do both of them together is just

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convenience right? For our purposes here.

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So Hadith 25

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Rasul Allah is Allah Azza wa sallam said in Allah azza wa jal Leia cool so this is Hadith that is good to see.

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Allah azza wa jal is saying,

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I'd have cut my hair but the lady and I are to have bone I mean Edgerly he says My love is confirmed for those who love each other for my sake.

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Will have Padma Huberty Lilina Yatta Sofo, when I'm in Italy, and my love is confirmed for those who cleanse their feelings or their love, from any impurities. So when they love each other, they cleanse it. So it's Safi, it's pure. They cleanse their feelings and love for each other from any contamination and impurity. Well, how about Mahabharata? ladina it is our own I mean originally and my love is confirmed for those who visit each other for my sake. Well, how about muhabba De La Nina at whether Luna mean actually and my love is confirmed for those who will love each other for my sake, will have got Mahabharata Lila Medina, methanosarcina mean Edgley and my love is confirmed for

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those who champion each other for my sake. So they love each other, but they're also a less list of things that they do for each other.

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They do it for Allah azza wa jal, and for that they deserve Allah's love.

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So this hadith establishes that reciprocal divine law,

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that is as you do, Allah azza wa jal will do to you. As you are Allah azza wa jal will reward you or will punish you. And you see this in that hadith Okay, so because they love each other for Allah sake Allah loves them

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and because they give each other and visit each other for Allah sake Allah loves them so because they love each other Allah azza wa jal loves them.

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So we've seen also in other panels ayat and other Hadith so Allah azza wa jal for instance said well yeah for Leos for who loved them pardon an overlook well yeah for well yes for Whoa, what is the motivation? Allah to hit buena a year fear Allahu Allah come? Don't you love Wouldn't you like Allah to forgive you? That is this is how Allah azza wa jal motivates those who want to forgive. But maybe there are obstacles standing between them and that forgiveness, Allah said, Let them pardon and let them overlook let them forgive. Why don't What do you wouldn't you like Allah to forgive you? Meaning if you forgive Allah does what to you? He forgives you. So that's that

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reciprocal

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treatment. And also the prophets a lot he was ill himself or a homeowner Yahama whom are Raha man, those who are merciful will receive mercy from the Merciful. It hammelmann Fill out of the ER humko Memphis Sana be merciful with those on earth and the one in the heavens in the sky above his throne he will be merciful with you. So if you show mercy

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and deal with mercy, Allah azza wa jal shows you a

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mercy. So one way of receiving mercy and forgiveness from Allah azza wa jal is to treat the servants of Allah, the creation of Allah azza wa jal with forgiveness and mercy. And the opposite by the way is true. If you so if you show harshness, cruelty, if you punish Allah's creation, what happens to you?

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Allah Azza deals with you in the same way. Okay. And if the Prophet sallallaahu Salam said in the Hadith, the meaning of

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which the idea of Allah if somebody assumes the leadership of my ummah and he is kind and gentle with them, be kind and gentle with them. And if he assumes the leadership of my ummah, which by say basically includes any type of leadership from the very top leader, all the way down to anyone who has power, and he says if he assumes leadership in my ummah and he's hard on them for Chaka Allah him

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he's hard on them fish brocolli be hard with them.

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That's the understand. If you are hard with people on him, then Allah azza wa jal is supposed to do the same. That's the dua of the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam so that to be a deterrent, as you are treating Allah as though did will treat you.

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So, here if we want Allah's love, according to this hadith, then you have to love people for the sake of Allah azza wa jal and give them for the sake of Allah and visit them for the sake of Allah and all these acts are

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inspired by Allah's love and inspired by loving them for the sake of Allah azza wa jal and why. And maybe we have said this before, why is it that those who love for the sake of Allah zodion Why is it that they receive such an honor from Allah, they receive His love, which is the greatest thing that Allah Azza does, promising you or he you can receive the greatest thing from me, which is my love, if they you will have another for the sake of Allah. But why did I if I love others for the sake of Allah, Allah did why did I receive or deserve that honor? Because you cannot love another for the sake of Allah azza wa jal until you purify your heart from worldly attractions, and you simply love

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for His sake, which means that you will love Allah azza wa jal. So you have this person and you don't really after money that they will give you you're not after fame, you're not after

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support of some sort. Nothing from the dunya

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what then motivates a heart like that to move but not for the sake of the dunya? Is if you think about it, think about us. What moves us

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what 90% of the time, it's the duniya I'm hungry, I'll eat, I'm thirsty. I'll drink. This is nice, I'll buy it. This is beneficial, but it's really about worldly benefit benefit. What moves us is the dunya. So if the dunya moves us what makes us love and hate. It's the dunya

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that's not the FL

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so if a person manages to love for Allah sake, that means that their heart is not primarily attracted to the dunya but to Allah azza wa jal. That's why he's able to love for the sake of Allah. So the heart is clean. So when you clean your heart from

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worldly distractions, let's call them worldly impurities. And Allah azza wa jal is the prime major focus. I don't say it's the only focus, but the prime and major focus, Allah azza wa jal gives you the best or enables you to do the best of deeds. And you will do things that will elevate you. And there's a hadith and you may know this hadith. It's Yanni reported by Muslim Rahim Allah.

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He said that sort of lifestyle and Selim said that once a man wanted to visit a brother of his who was in another village or town, so Allah sent him an angel to meet him on his way.

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And the angel asked him, he says, Where are you going? And he said, are either 100 If he had him Korea, he says, I want to visit a brother of mine in this city or village, how the Halacha Allah him he never met in total Buddha.

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He says, Is this motivated by a worldly

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advantage? NEMA? Is there a net amount that you want to increase? By visiting him? Do you owe him something? Does he owe you something? That is what is between you is it dunya and that visit is supposed to increase that dunya so worldly benefit. He said, No, hey, Allah, NIA hubub to fulfill that he has ordered he says no, except that I love Him for allah sake. So the angel said, then I am the messenger of Allah to you to tell you that Allah had loved you or that Allah loves you as you love him.

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I am the messenger of Allah to you to tell you that Allah loves you, as you love him. So imagine here that Allah azza wa jal had sent to this man who was purely motivated not by anything but the love for that man, Allah but loving for Allah sake, sent an angel

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to ask him

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and to give him the good news that Allah loves you

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and

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And it may seem that the action that he did was a minor action he just traveled. But if you imagine the travel then unlike travel today was very difficult, very dangerous. The Journey requires a lot of effort and sacrifice. A lot of time may have been spent on that journey. And it's only for Allah sake.

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Right? Only for Allah sake. Then he is actually sacrificing for Allah azza wa jal. And so that's why the question is, is it because of a dunya? He says no, because that's what typically moves people. He says, No, it's because of Allah I love Him for allah sake is Allah azza wa jal then loves you. So,

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when Allah azza wa jal when Allah's love

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is so entrenched is so natural, no one has to push you to do this. Because no one right pushed him to do this, no one has to push you to do this. No one has to push you to be kind. No one has to push you to remember to call that person or to worry about them. Nobody reminds you to love yourself.

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You may say to someone take care of yourself. But you're not telling him that because he forgets himself is just he doesn't know how.

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But no one forgets to take care of themselves because you're, you love yourself. So that's natural to you. So of the love of Allah azza wa jal is a natural love. It will push you to do all of these things without a reminder. And these things would be the easiest of things to do, and the most beloved of things to do because they come back to feed the love of Allah azza wa jal, like if you're cooking a meal for someone that you love, and you are conscious at that moment, that you're doing it for someone that you love, the meal preparation, and the cooking is an act of love in itself, right? So you feel it.

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And there is joy in doing it. Right? There's joy in doing it, if you remember. So if that's the case, no one has to push you and say, do this.

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So if you love Allah azza wa jal, all the actions that Allah asks us to do become naturally Beloved to us. And all the people who are loved by Allah and who love Allah azza wa jal become our people immediately. And all the people who are distant from Allah or who oppose him, Subhana Allah to Allah do don't are not are distant from us, even if they are relatives and that is because Allah azza wa jal is the here is the focus Allah azza wa jal is the test. What brings you closest to him is beloved to you and what is not is a waste of time. And of course,

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that type of love,

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and any love any emotion has to be tested. Right?

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You can have such a gift and have the shaytaan not try to ruin it.

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You can't have Iman and the shaytaan not attack you. So it means that if you have Iman you have to defend it right.

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And if you commit a mistake, you have to ask Allah for forgiveness.

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And you have to refocus

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on what pleases Allah if you forget. So that's the challenge of having Iman, you just, you don't just simply have it and you're done. As you have it, you could lose it as it goes up, it must go down. So that means that you need to protect it. So if you're loving for Allah sake, you also need to protect that love from the Shavon and from yourself.

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The shaytaan will attack it will try to spoil that love. And you yourself may commit mistakes and when you commit these mistakes, you have to be quick to ask for forgiveness and admit that you've made a mistake. So that love also needs protection. And abou de la la himolla He said again, and this is kind of edit, but we also want to emphasize emphasize this

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in in light of loving Allah subhanho wa Taala so it says either Bulava can ileka che che you own taco

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Feltham is the whole oh the raja haddock for in them tagit la hora FOLFIRINOX seeker. Laleli earthy Alderaan La La Mo. He said, If news reaches you about your brother that displease you, so maybe when he doesn't explain that's my clarification. Maybe they say he said something about you.

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He said something against you. Or he did something independent of us not related, but he did something wrong. So news that I've reached you about him, that displeases you. So he said, filter miss the whole of the raw Jahad that try your best to find an excuse for him to try your best to find an excuse for him. But if you cannot

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find an excuse, then say to yourself, maybe my brother has an excuse that I do not know.

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That beyond my comprehension, beyond my awareness, there is if you want to be a good brother or a good sister, if you want to carry that name, then you have to assume the best about this person. And forgive them when he makes a mistake. And when you hear something about him, don't rush and believe it. And if it actually is confirmed, they say you say he might have an excuse.

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Wait till I hear him out. We wait until he explains. Maybe there is another side. Maybe he was angry. Maybe it was not reported right? Maybe he meant something different. Maybe and maybe and as long as there is a maybe you give him the benefit of the doubt.

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And you don't cut that friendship killed that love, which is supposed to be for the sake of Allah azza wa jal. You don't do it simply because you feel angry or you feel wrong. That's the difference between loving for the sake of Allah azza wa jal and following your own emotions, following your own emotions you do whatever you want loving for the sake of Allah supersedes your emotions, you will say it doesn't matter what I feel, what matters is this, this brother has rights on me. He has rights on me and I have to observe these rights regardless of what I feel right? And there is a

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lesson

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for him Allah He said me know Allah, He for Allah, may You believe some of him and you hate. He said the believer is not unjust with those whom he hates.

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And he is not driven to sin because of those whom he loves.

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The believer as a believer, meaning if you hate someone, you're not unjust with them.

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And if you love someone, you don't sin because of them.

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To see how the believer isn't in the middle, he's not swayed by their by their emotion. Because there's something higher than that. versus somebody who if they hate someone, and we're gonna come to that later, if they hate someone they hate all the way. And if they love someone they love all the way. And if they hate someone, all the

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sins of the world are in Him. And if they love someone, he's a saint.

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And he's telling you here about balance, which is you hate someone you don't transgress Allah's bounds.

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You don't commit to haram just because you hate him. No, you're you're you're restrained. You're restrained. You can't commit whatever you would live here like and if you are in love with someone who would love someone, that love doesn't push you to commit a sin. And you know why? Because there's someone that you love who's higher than that? Which is Allah azza wa jal

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because obviously, if you love someone, if you really, really really love someone, they could force you to sin.

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Right? You'll do it just to make them happy. But if you love Allah azza wa jal more, that would not be possible. Right?

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So what love means?

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Love is not a claim. It's not something that you say, Oh, I love so and so. I love for the sake of Allah azza wa jal. But I say love is a state of deep commitment.

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Right? When you say I love for the sake of Allah azza wa jal, you're declaring that you love Allah and you're declaring that I love only for his sake, I love this person for his sake. And that means that actions must follow. positions must be taken other positions must be avoided is not just a love, and it ends up there. So it's a moral and physical support to the Beloved, based on your advice, your best wishes. And if you see them commit a mistake, if you see them straying away from Allah Xeljanz, sadness, sadness for their state, and eagerness to put them back opposite the feeling of those who are when they see somebody commit a mistake, they gloat and they're happy.

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Because they feel that if somebody does that, then I'm superior to them, I'm better than them. They fallen and I'm better.

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But that is not indicative of any love for Allah sake, nor even of love for Allah.

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And if somebody is righteous, and they lose their footing, and they commit a mistake and you're happy.

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So when Why is the happy and what what why does that bring you happiness?

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Okay, if this is upsetting to Allah, it should be upsetting to you.

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And you should be sad because they slipped, not happy. And because now the Muslim ranks have weakened because somebody had fallen

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by

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So you're supposed to I want everybody to be in Jannah and everybody to be obedient to Allah azza wa jal and everybody to be free of sin and to be sad when somebody is sinning. That is a heart that loves Allah subhanho wa taala.

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So,

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it just as an example of somebody taking care

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of those whom he loves, is as follows and pose is from the Tabea in Rahim Allah call it aka moto Soon Allah raffia can la humare then had the firt the whole Hajj is a Star Wars took care of his sick friend until he missed hedge.

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That is, and we don't assume that that is the obligatory hedge. But that was we understand then wanted to make hedge wanted to go on hedge had that it's that's the intention.

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A friend of his rather of his got sick.

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So he kept taking care of him to keep taking care of him kept taking care of him until he missed Hajj.

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And now you may say to yourself, Well, did he sacrifice the greater good?

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Which is had or was taking care of his brother better?

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Is taking care of his brothers better. But who can do this? Like even today, right? Would you miss? Would you miss out something like that hygiene? Omura, right? Independent of the obligation. We're not talking about that just simply to take care of another brother or sister.

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But you won't be able to do this until you love them as much as you love yourself until you care for them. And as much as you care for yourself until you really feel for them.

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Then only will that be possible. And again, you're not waiting for anything. You're not saying to yourself Oh, so that in case I get sick later, he can take care of me you have no idea if they will do that. Maybe they will not even pick up the phone. So what will you not do it? Because if you're doing it for Allah Zoda that doesn't matter what they will give you in the future. But if you're doing it for Allah, then at that moment, it's for Allah and when it's done, you throw it in the sea.

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You don't even remember that you've done that. That's the important thing. You throw it away in the sea.

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That's it. I didn't do a thing. Allah did this to you. Even if he comes Thank you, thanking you I didn't do a thing. Allah Azza didn't enable me to do this. Because your reward is with Allah azza wa jal you reward is not with anybody else.

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And

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kind of connected to this. There's a proverb that says a hookah man sadaqa cannot see her. He says Your brother is the one who gives you sincere advice.

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And we can easily rephrase it to say the one who loves you is the one who gives you sincere advice. The one who is dear to you, or should be dear to you, the one who gives you sincere advice, not the one who flatters you all the time. Even though they know what you're doing is wrong.

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That person sees your mistakes. The tragedies you commit, and still they flatter you, then they're not interested in your safety, and your well being. But a person sees you making a mistake. And he comes or she comes in the best of ways.

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very compassionate, leave very kindly, and they say you've done something wrong, that is your brother.

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That is your sister. That's one who cares about you. So as difficult as it is to hear criticism isn't too difficult to be criticized, isn't too difficult to hear that you are wrong and to be corrected. Who likes it.

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No one. But if you understand the benefit of that criticism, even you know, despite how it was presented to you, but the benefit of that criticism, if it's actually sound, you will appreciate the one who's giving you that advice, because that person is saving you.

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If he tells you this is haram don't do it. And it's actually true. He's saving you.

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And he should be thanked for it.

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So that's why sometimes your enemies, sometimes your enemies are more beneficial than your friends. Because your friends will look the other way because they don't want to upset you. They don't want to lose the friendship, your enemies have nothing to lose. They they'll tell you to your face. You do this, this this because sometimes your enemies will be more upfront and honest. So anyway, whatever advice comes to you, it's important to actually first to receive it in the spirit of an advice. And to exclude the person whoever had said it said it, how they've said it, erase them, but take an eraser, a magic eraser, just read them.

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And just think about the thing that was said to you. And if it's good, take it.

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Don't be so stubborn. Okay, just because somebody or he said that I won't follow. No, take it and also in the same way you

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Be the person who gives advice when people need that advice in the best of ways.

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So

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and that again it comes at it how will you be able to give advice and risk someone's anger and friendship is because you trust Allah has served and more than you trust. What is here? What is in between creation? That is if I'm doing it for Allah sake and as again you're doing your best to deliver it in the most acceptable fashions. But if you trust Allah azza wa jal and I'm doing it for Allah sake this advice needs to be given and when that person is angry, right, and rightfully then they are angry but at this point you've done your job to Him, towards Him. And also Allah azza wa jal

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love for Allah sake right is of the best of deeds and we're gonna give you in sha Allah a couple of stories to demonstrate a one story actually to demonstrate this

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so a Muslim al hola Annie and he's a tabby.

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He said to me, I have no devil. Part of the Allahu Anhu he says will lie in Nila or hippo Kelly rady dunya origin, Ori or Jew. And we'll see the Hammond koala Kurata Vainio Avena so he said to me, then why these are Sahabi and he is a tabby. He says by Allah I love you, not for the sake of a dunya that I'm going to get from you. Nor because of kinship that is between me and you. So what I've said then for what do you love me? He said Lila Okay. I will Muslim he said I love you for Allah. Kind of each other but Hilbert. He said he helped me by by my clothes and pulled me to him. And he said, app share in countryside of QA. He says expect the best if you are honest. I heard the messenger

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Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam say and with the hub una Villa Havilah lil Arshi, Yo Ma La Villa Elavil, lo europei. To whom be McKenny him in Nabi universe, shahada, he says, Those who love each other, for my sake, will be under the, the shade of the throne, on the day when there will be no shade, except the shade that Allah provides. He says, and the prophets and the martyrs will admire and wish for the station of those people when they see them.

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That is any prophet passing by and he sees them any modern passing by and he sees them. He says they will admire Yes, but meaning you admire and you wish for that for yourself. Not envy, but wish the same for yourself.

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So it's amazing Subhan Allah that this is the statement from the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam. He says this is a reason for you to be elevated and shaded on the day of judgment, because you've loved another for Allah as origin such a high station. So Abu Muslim, he said I went, I got out and I came to Oba W Slamet. And I gave him the hadith of Ma they told him this is what behind the law, the law and who said about the prophets a lot he was Allah. Then Oba Ignace Ahmed said, and I heard from the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam said Indeed my love is confirmed for those who love each other for my sake, the Hadith of the chapter.

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So, if you want Allah azza wa jal to elevate you worship I mean worship Allah through love, meaning love Allah and love for the sake of Allah as and hate for the sake of Allah as

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and another Hadith also that confirms that is when the prophets Allah, He said to me, he said about the seven who will be shaded on the day of judgment in the shade that Allah will provide when there is no other shade except that for that God Amin whom he mentioned, what are Giuliani to have Biophilia? He Shama Allah, He would have raka Ali, two men who love each other for the sake of Allah azza wa jal, they're reunited because of their love. And when they were separated, they're separated with that love. So it's this love that brings them together and it's this love that continues between them even when they separate. So that is a cause for Allah azza wa jal to shade you on the

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Day of Judgment.

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And here Subhan Allah, again, what that means is that when you say to someone or when you feel or you want to assume that position, love for the sake of Allah azza wa jal, there are obligations responsibilities that follow that. The ones that we talked about your love for them, what you love for yourself, you wish for them what you wish for yourself, what saddens them sad and see what makes them happy makes you happy.

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You think of them as you and you as them. If there is benefit that you bring to yourself, you want to bring it to them. If you learn something, you want to also share it with them. If there is advice you would give that advice if there is anything that brings them closer to Allah, Allah, you will bring that to them

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and you will even make dua for them. Right

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like a hammer no humble right? Rahim Allah. He said to the child to the son of a Shafi Allahu Allah. He said your father is among a group of people that I make dua for them every single day.

00:30:14--> 00:30:28

Like he has, you have a list of people that you're so close to that every single day I will make up for them. That is the brotherhood that we talk about or the sisterhood that we want to take about.

00:30:30--> 00:30:33

So, a couple of sayings that kind of emphasize this.

00:30:34--> 00:31:03

So so if you had an arena he says, I heard Musa Alba rock said, He says, Yeah, life will be law. He has devoted his swearing by Allah azza wa jal, he says, I would not deny a man or I would not say to a man, I love you for the sake of Allah and deny him anything from this world. As if I were to say to someone, I love you, for Allah sake, I will not stop him taking anything from the dunya that I have, if he wants it from me.

00:31:05--> 00:31:08

And again, you as you may ask yourself as a How is that possible?

00:31:09--> 00:31:10

We you know how much we love the dunya

00:31:12--> 00:31:17

right? So how is it that if that person wants anything from the dunya from you, you would not stop him?

00:31:18--> 00:31:39

Because you love her more? Allah azza wa jal you love Allah more, right? And so you said I love you for Allah sake. Now you've elevated him above the dunya you put this brother above the dunya that dunya is beneath you. So this one whom you love for Allah sake, one some of the dunya you wouldn't deny him the dunya because he's higher than that.

00:31:41--> 00:32:00

Like, would you say to your mother, okay, if you love your mother, which has assume you love your mother, you would say, you could take everything in this house, except the most precious and the most, the best things I have. The best food is not for you, but take anything else. You wouldn't say that to your mother, you would say what everything in my house is yours, right?

00:32:01--> 00:32:18

To your father, everything that I own is yours. If you love someone, everything that I have is yours, right? That's what it is. You say I love you for Allah sake. And then you keep the dunya to yourself is that they don't really love him for your Allah sake. That is the love we were talking about. That is that intensity. I really love you for Allah sake.

00:32:20--> 00:32:28

It's not a word that you throw around. There is a commitment to it. There is a deep commitment to it. I was alive not only to he said.

00:32:30--> 00:32:58

Pilot in Abuja for Muhammad Ali. He said, you had to come here the houfy call me so happy here. Wait, hold on my God. He says Would one of you put his hand in his brother's sleeve? You know what the sleeve because they used to keep their money in their sleeve. So it could be pocket with one of you take his hand and put it in his brother's pocket and take whatever he wants from it? They said no, he said, then you're not brothers as you claim.

00:33:01--> 00:33:03

That you're not really brothers as you claim.

00:33:04--> 00:33:06

Meaning meaning meaning what? Meaning you don't ask him

00:33:08--> 00:33:10

to think about your own actual blood brother.

00:33:11--> 00:33:25

Or your or your own wife or your own child. Father, can I eat this chips? No, it just opens the cup of rice that goes in opens the cupboard eat said because it's it's his is his. He doesn't take from Michigan.

00:33:26--> 00:33:29

So that's kind of that's the how familiar

00:33:31--> 00:33:54

that relationship is. So he says if you tell tale, tell a person I love you. Or you are my brother, it needs to be that familiar? Meaning that I'm not going to ask you, can you give me this please? Can I give me there's no permission anymore between you and him. He's simply just steak as he just steaks. That's the level of confidence. That's the level of love.

00:33:55--> 00:34:36

But that's something to aspire to. That's something to push for. That. If you want to say to person, a brother and a sister feel the weight of that word. And if you definitely want to say I love you for the sake of Allah azza wa jal realize that it has to mean something, that I will do everything in my power to help you everything in my power to save you. everything in my power not to believe the worst things about you when I hear them, not disrespect you when the shaytaan tries to introduce suspicion into my head, not to simply say, Oh, he didn't call me so I'm just going to stop calling him not to destroy that love and that friendship and that brotherhood at the first sign of trouble.

00:34:37--> 00:34:50

To be humble enough that when you commit a mistake, you say I made a mistake. Sorry, forgive me because you want to maintain that love. If that is the basis of that love, then it will prosper it will continue.

00:34:54--> 00:34:58

So let me move so maybe we will have a little bit of time in sha Allah to spend on Hadith

00:35:00--> 00:35:02

26 Insha Allah

00:35:04--> 00:35:17

and Hadith 26 Cana in the same spirit of this hadith that we just finished, so Allah is Allah Allah wa salam said Mata Harbeth Nerney Fila he Illa can of Allah Houma Asha, do Houma. Hubballi Sahibi

00:35:18--> 00:35:31

he says, If to know to love each other for the sake of Allah as Odin, except that the best of the two is the one who loves their companion, more, no two people who love each other for the sake of Allah azza wa jal

00:35:32--> 00:35:46

the best of the two is who the one who loves the other the more more because both of them love each other for Allah sake right he loves it for Allah sake he alone Allah sick, Oh, who's who's better of the two? He says if you love your companion more, you're better.

00:35:48--> 00:36:09

And why is it that when you love your companion more, you're better because that means that you obey Allah better. Because that love is a bad deal by the way, loving for Allah sake that love it itself, those emotions are a bad, so you love them more. So you're better at that a bad and it also means that you love Allah as origin more. That's why you were able to produce more love.

00:36:11--> 00:36:16

Now, something interesting first about Allah as love himself

00:36:17--> 00:36:27

is that Allah is Love has no end to it and has no limit. Right? Just as Allah's worship has no end to it as no limit.

00:36:28--> 00:36:34

So Allah azza wa jal, we could never say that we have loved him enough.

00:36:36--> 00:36:40

It's impossible. You could love a human being enough you could over love them.

00:36:41--> 00:36:48

Right? Because they're finite, we're all finite, Allah Zoda, who is infinite in terms of no beginning and no end?

00:36:50--> 00:37:12

And what he had given us, how he blessed us, is far beyond our comprehension and our ability to thank and repay. So first of all, you will not be able to worship Allah azza wa jal sufficiently, even for a single NEMA, let alone all the other things that you know and you do not know that Allah has given you or saved you from.

00:37:14--> 00:37:16

So even worship and Sandman and Pharisee

00:37:18--> 00:38:02

are the Allahu Anhu. And this is a statement from him. But it has the status of a hadith, it's authentic to him, but it has the status of a hadith. So he said, What are the Allahu Anhu he said, the MISA and the scale will be set up on the day of judgment or will be set on the day of judgment. And if he says, fellow who's enough, he is similar to a lot of blue lower set of lower SAT. It says if you were to put the heavens and the earth, on that scale, the scale would be enough for them. They will fit the heavens all the heavens and the earth. Put them in that scale, the scale will take them. So the angels in wonder, they will ask Allah as though did he says, Who is this weighing and

00:38:02--> 00:38:13

for whom he or Allah, this grand creation? Can you imagine again, just try to imagine with me, all the universe that you know, and that is unknown will fit in that scale.

00:38:14--> 00:38:25

So the angels now they see this of Allah's creation, and they're experiencing wonder, Is he Allah, what will this way and for whom will this way and

00:38:26--> 00:38:31

so Allah azza wa jal says dementia to unhealthy from from whoever I wish from my creation.

00:38:33--> 00:38:48

So like their knowledge and their comprehension is you know, far less than what Allah knows. And so that will live then they will say Subhana QCCA mahabubnagar Kahakai balletic says Glory be to You, we did not worship you, as you deserve to be worshipped.

00:38:49--> 00:39:34

And then he will put us Sirat Alright, that bridge, and it is as thin as a blade. So the angels again will look with wonder at that Syrah, there's a own pass on this, a blade, who will pass on this. So Allah has the role of say, whatever I wish for my creation, so they will say Glory be to You, we did not worship you, as you deserve to be worshipped as an interesting you know, to hear that the angels of Allah are saying this, the angels of Allah who don't stop worshiping Allah, from the time that they were created, till then they don't stop. So how many years are we talking about here? 1000s millions of years of constant daily worship. And they'd say, we did not worship you

00:39:34--> 00:39:35

enough.

00:39:36--> 00:39:49

But because they realize more and more of Allah's majesty then and Allah has power. So that's the AHA that they experience when you see something you say, Wow, you did not really, you know, fully understand how great you are.

00:39:51--> 00:39:59

I've just I just saw like a little bit of it. Now. I don't really understand how great you are. It's beyond me. So that's the worship of Allah has zone

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Olympus we say to anybody who may feel that I've done so much for Allah.

00:40:05--> 00:40:16

I prayed, they give money. I do a lot of do I sacrifice I give Dawa. Right? I did so much for Allah. He says, No, whatever you have done is nothing.

00:40:17--> 00:40:24

You have to look at yourself like that whatever you've done is nothing. So this worship of Allah azza wa jal has no end and no limit to it.

00:40:25--> 00:41:04

And the love of Allah azza wa jal has no end and no limit to it, because you could continue to love Allah till the end of your life and it would not be enough and you could live multiple times. And that would not be enough. Because Allah azza wa jal, as we said, has no beginning as no end. And you can keep getting loving Him more and more and more Subhana who were to Allah. So if new Tamia said well Allah to Allah, Muhammad Fulani, hyah Tada Allah's love has no end has no end, which tells you Subhanallah that you can continue to grow that love and continue to get more and more from it. And you can continue to enjoy it.

00:41:05--> 00:41:07

Because there is no end. Right?

00:41:08--> 00:41:28

And because it is stable, it will give you the greatest stability and the greatest comfort. If somebody came complaining to another, about a person whom he loved, and they passed away. I love so and so they passed away and they're very upset, very angry, very sad.

00:41:30--> 00:41:38

So the man replied, and he said, Hello, Adam budem book at hypothermia mood. He says it's your fault. You loved some you loved somebody who dies.

00:41:42--> 00:41:42

Got it?

00:41:44--> 00:41:52

Right. It says you're so distraught that somebody died. And he came complaining and he says it's your fault. You love somebody who dies.

00:41:53--> 00:42:13

You know, what did you expect when you love somebody who dies, to expect them never to die? That you would never lose them? That's what's going to happen to them. So when you put all of that and you invested in somebody who dies, of course that's going to devastate you, that's your fault. So if you want somebody who never dies, Allah azza wa jal love Him

00:42:14--> 00:42:38

and love others at a secondary level but love Allah azza wa jal, then as you're not going to be devastated, okay, you'll be able to continue to move he'll supply you subhanaw taala with that patience, so loving Allah azza wa jal has no end and you'll keep getting getting more and more from it. So every word we love is doomed to end but Allah is love and that's what gives you safety.

00:42:40--> 00:43:16

And a way to increase your love for Allah azza wa jal is for you to love what he loves. Can it's like a loop, right? Like a circle. You increase your love for Allah, you love what he loves more. Push yourself to love what Allah loves more meaning you know, stay next to it, do more of it. Okay, be next to them. Then you will love Allah more. So it's it's a loop that keeps feeding that love and it's actually loving what Allah loves is a test. You want to know how much you love Allah. See how much you love what Allah loves?

00:43:17--> 00:43:27

How much do you love the Quran? How much do you love the then how much do you love Dicker? Have you how much do you love the righteous? How much do you love sin? How much do you love the sinful?

00:43:28--> 00:43:52

That will tell you how much or how close you are to Allah and how much you love him Subhanallah with Allah so if you want to test your iman or predict your iman consider how close and far you are from what Allah azza wa jal loves. So this is how you want to grow it be closer to what Allah loves and that will increase speed Nila has origin. And there is a definite mercy from Allah subhanho wa Taala in linking

00:43:54--> 00:43:57

his love to what he loves to you.

00:43:58--> 00:44:01

Right there's definite mercy in it and and if you can see it,

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because Allah azza wa jal could have said, let's say could have said love me.

00:44:08--> 00:44:10

But when it comes to people, do whatever you want to them,

00:44:12--> 00:44:17

right? Love me worship me. But when it comes to people, do whatever you want to them.

00:44:19--> 00:44:21

How would we live? What kind of life would we have?

00:44:22--> 00:44:23

You'd be killing each other.

00:44:25--> 00:44:32

Okay, there's no motivation. I want more of the dunya and that's independent of Allah so I'll just kill you for it and then I'll go and pray.

00:44:33--> 00:44:42

I'll be good with him. But it doesn't matter what I do to you. Allah's Mercy is in that no, you cannot get into gender like that. And you cannot have my love like that.

00:44:44--> 00:45:00

If you want to get into gender, you have to be merciful with them and you have to love them. You have to love them. So Allah loves you. You see how merciful Allah is kind of Allah it protected you like there's a force field around you, kind of descends if you have email. I

00:45:00--> 00:45:05

around you. That's the protection of Eman. Anyone who has a man says oh no, can't touch him.

00:45:06--> 00:45:10

I can't harm him. Allah may be angry with me can take their money

00:45:11--> 00:45:32

can hurt the reputation so Allah azza wa jal is protecting you with His love, that he clothed you with His love, so that others don't who love them do anything to you. That is Allah's mercy. And that in itself requires gratitude for Allah asserted of course so those who don't believe in Allah Azula penetrate that feel

00:45:34--> 00:45:43

that shield but it is then the job of the faithful to do find themselves and defend other faiths as well. But if you believe in Allah, as noted, there is that protection.

00:45:45--> 00:46:04

Now loving for Allah azza wa jal makes you a better you a better human being. Because you're not controlled by your own emotions. You're not controlled by your own desires, you know, anger, sadness, happiness, it's not that somebody else is directing you and somebody else is putting this love in your heart

00:46:05--> 00:46:09

and somebody else is guiding you and your behavior will be refined.

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That is as remember we just said When you love somebody, for, for Allah, you will wish them the best you will do the best to them, you will care for them like you care for yourself. There is no other motivation that will push you to be such a good person as the love of Allah. Love another like you love yourself. What other creed

00:46:31--> 00:47:02

has this except the Creed, I'm talking about the sound creed what other sound creed has this except one that is given by Allah as of to love him as you love yourself, dealing with him as you deal with yourself. It pushes you to be the best person that you can. So even if you have bad thoughts about another you will stop them. Even if you're saying bad things about the other and he may never know about them. You will stop them you will be a better person because you love Allah oxygen and because you love for the sake of Allah.

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And there is also something kind of very insightful about that love.

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Which is that sin destroys love.

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If love if we understand that love is from Allah azza wa jal as and maintained by him when you disobey Him, that love diminishes.

00:47:26--> 00:47:29

So there's a Hadith from the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam

00:47:30--> 00:47:50

that he said, well enough so Muhammad in bat Hema Dawa the if nanny for full recovery, you know, Houma in Lebanon being your home, he says, I swear by the one who had by the one who's Muhammad Sol in his hand, no two people love each other. And then there is discord between them except because of a sin that one of them has done.

00:47:51--> 00:47:53

So if there's love between them,

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and they lose that love, because why why did they lose that love? He says, somebody committed a crime committed a sin, they lost that love,

00:48:05--> 00:48:08

which tells you very something very significant about

00:48:10--> 00:48:12

an a social conflicts and discord,

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whether on a personal level or on a communal level. Again, what is what is the kind of that connection? Love is from whom?

00:48:24--> 00:48:33

Allah azza wa jal and you cannot get something from ALLAH, if you disobey Him. You cannot have something from ALLAH blessed if you disobey Him. So on the personal level,

00:48:35--> 00:48:47

if you want to fix your relationship with your spouse, okay, I'm saying this so that we don't have to say this in therapy and in counseling, right? Just take this no it, spread it.

00:48:49--> 00:48:57

If you want to fix a relationship between you and your spouse, between you and your parents, between you and your children, the first thing that you're supposed to do is what?

00:48:59--> 00:49:00

Obey Allah and stop sinning.

00:49:03--> 00:49:03

Okay.

00:49:05--> 00:49:11

If you want to fix relationships between you and your neighbor, it doesn't really matter who doesn't really matter who.

00:49:12--> 00:49:12

But if you want,

00:49:14--> 00:49:23

love, compassion, if you want to love to bring harmony, and there is lack of that, stop disobeying Allah

00:49:25--> 00:49:47

and obey Allah more, pray more, make a lot of dua make a lot of thicker read more Quran etc. And keep at it, keep at it, keep at it until Allah azza wa jal restores the love that you guys have and restores that harmony. But when if it's missing, then something is missing. And that thing is what Allah did not bless. Something got lost. So this is how you fix it.

00:49:48--> 00:49:59

Not only on a personal level on a communal level on a societal level, when you see a society lacking harmony, people hate each other. Suspect to each other.

00:50:01--> 00:50:43

Then there's sin among them. And you want to restore public order social harmony, stop those sins and come back to Allah azza wa jal, and then under the umbrella of Allah, everybody would be united. But take that away, and the shaytaan will have a field day. sowing discord, sowing suspicion, I hate him for his color, I hate him for his gender, hate him for his money, hate him for his name for his status, whatever. And if not, we'll make up a reason to hate people. There's no shortage of reason, shortage of reasons to hate people, there's always right. He lives in this neighborhood, I live in that neighborhood, let's save each other. You could do that. Right?

00:50:44--> 00:50:49

So it's the level of Allah as a surgeon that saves from this and it's the sin that chases away that love.

00:50:51--> 00:50:59

So we said that, just going back to the Hadith, and then we there's a story and then we'll be done in sha Allah, that

00:51:00--> 00:51:14

the better companion is more beloved to Allah azza wa jal because he loves him more and he loves him more because he loves Allah azza wa jal more, and he does more to preserve that love and protect it, meaning his humbler.

00:51:16--> 00:52:00

He rushes, to ask for forgiveness rushes to forgive, he does what Allah azza wa jal pleases, or what what pleases Allah as origin more so than the other, that makes him the better companion. So this you could take as a prescription for all relationships that you have. If you say they did not call me so I will not call the new, not the better of the two, until you become the person who calls first. I'm not going to visit them because they don't visit me. You're not the better of the two until you be the person who visits first. If you say I will not forgive them because they don't forgive me, then you're not better, the better of the two until you forgive first. So you have to be

00:52:00--> 00:52:38

and then you say to yourself, you know is that? Isn't that humiliating? The person always has to do this. But if you're doing it for them, yeah, that's humiliating. If you're doing it to Allah azza wa jal. That's never humiliating. Allah honors you when you're humble. When you humble Allah honors you, all right, as long as the other person is worth it. There are some times people right who are not worth that effort. And I'm not talking about the exception I'm talking about as long as there is good in that person. And they are worth the effort. you humble yourself to Allah azza wa jal, and you be the person who is the better of the two. Well, Jairo Humala, the Yep, the OB Sinha, the best

00:52:38--> 00:52:44

of the two is the one who begins with the salam. That's what he said, Allah His Salatu was Salam.

00:52:45--> 00:53:09

So, loving Allah azza wa jal unloving for his sake allows you to treat others better than you treat yourself. And I love this story that that that follows. And that's on page 291 to 92. So, Musab, he said Abu Mohammed will Moto Z. He said he came to Baghdad, and he wanted mecca for Hajj.

00:53:12--> 00:53:36

So he said, I wanted his companionship meaning I wanted to go with him to Hajj, right and be his companion. So I asked for his permission, can I be your companion, he did not grant that to me. So I said that in the first year, the second year. And then the third year, the third year he came so he denied him twice. The third year he came, gave him Sidama. He said,

00:53:37--> 00:53:49

I want to be your companion on that trip, you know to hedge. He says, I will accept with the condition with the firm condition that one of us will be the Emir and the other one does not disobey Him.

00:53:51--> 00:53:56

Right, the other one does not disobey Him. So I said his Mousavi said you are the Emir

00:53:58--> 00:54:40

Cebu So Mohammed he said, Oh, Mohamed, he says, No, you are the Emir. Then the other who is younger, right? This is the person who wanted to be the companion. He said, No, you're older than me and more worthy of me. So you'll be the Emir. Okay, so I want to be your companion. You will be the emir, you're older than me. He says, Yes, I will be the emir, but you do not disobey me. I'd be the emir, then you listen to me. He says yes, sir Horace Dumas who is a so I set out with him we traveled together. When it's time to eat he would favor me with his food. He would give me his food favorite me with most of it or more or all of it or the best of it. If I wanted to object he said Did not I

00:54:40--> 00:54:59

not ask you and make it a condition that you do not disobey me? He said yes. So he says for Canada that buena Hatton add him to a loss of ability. He says, he continued to do some things like that mean he gives me things that are his. If I object he says you have to obey me because I am the Emir. He says he continued to do

00:55:00--> 00:55:41

This until I regretted asking him being to be in his companion because of the harm that he's bringing to himself. And then he said one of those nights there was heavy rain. And while we're walking, he said, Oh Mohamed, meaning this this older, who is the emir, he says, there's a milepost over there. Let's rush there. So he with us, we rushed to it. He says, he said, he said, Sit at the base of this milepost. So he made me sit at the milepost. And he covered me with his body, he was wearing a cloak. So he covered me with his body. So he protected me from the rain and the rain was falling on his head and in his body. And he continued to do this until the rain went away. Until I

00:55:41--> 00:55:49

wished that it never went out with him, never asked him to be his companions, because this is how he continued to behave until we came to Mecca.

00:55:50--> 00:56:02

So he was the emir, and he was older, but he was like a servant. Like if you hired a servant, he wouldn't do a better job than this. Right? But he wasn't his servant. He was older

00:56:03--> 00:56:05

and well known.

00:56:06--> 00:56:09

And is this guy who's seeking his companionship but there is no pride.

00:56:11--> 00:56:19

There is no pride, he had raised all pride. And then you ask yourself, but why is he putting himself through all of this trouble? What is he getting for it?

00:56:21--> 00:57:04

For what? reward from Allah azza wa jal. That's why he would rush to do it. And he'd be happy to do it. Are you happy to do it and it's difficult and you're not eating as well? Because every minute that I'm spending doing this, Allah rewards me, and I'm closer to Allah azza wa jal, then you enjoy doing it, no one is forcing you. Whereas if he were to ask him, could you give me more of your food, and the dunya was the primary focus they will fight. This is how the love of Allah azza wa jal erases the dunya and transform a person reimagines a person in a way that is unimaginable today. You see, this is fiction, for this to happen, fiction to be seen, but it's not impossible, it can

00:57:04--> 00:57:07

happen. But it's the love of Allah as though to that is the motivation.

00:57:08--> 00:57:12

So we'll stop here in sha Allah, and see if you have

00:57:13--> 00:57:16

anything you'd like to ask, let me know be in the last

00:57:28--> 00:57:30

I'll check if there's anything online.

00:57:42--> 00:58:03

So the question How do we give advice to those who have no life experience, not enough life experience to understand what we're trying to explain? which require life experience to decipher? You know, what are the tips? I mean, there's nothing miraculous here, like how can you have a person understand things that are difficult for them to understand?

00:58:05--> 00:58:48

Especially that they had not experienced enough of life for them to understand that you need more of life? So it kind of it's, it's a dilemma. If they don't trust you to begin with, if they don't trust your wisdom, like, why do we? Why do we consult the elders? And those who have more life experience isn't because we trust their judgment, they've seen more of life that they could tell us about it more so than we can tell. So if you don't trust someone with more life experience, how can you convince them that your advice is worthy? So first of all there has we have to establish that you need the counsel of others. Maybe maybe begin by explaining to them that you need the counsel of

00:58:48--> 00:59:02

others and you need the counsel of those who have greater experience have seen things that you haven't have gone through the various the same thing that you're about to go through. If you can establish that, then maybe that could help.

00:59:04--> 00:59:08

And again, maybe try to

00:59:09--> 00:59:55

I don't know sometimes hearing it from outsiders is easier. So employ the help of an outsider who could give the same advice that you've given, but because you're so close, they're blind to it blind and deaf to it. So employ somebody from the outside because there are no obstacles. Right? Whenever there is obstacles, fam family relations, they're always obstacles. So employ somebody from the outside who would be able to help. And again, maybe finally, I would say, try to use as many as much evidence and reasons is not just simply if you do this, you'll regret it. Why would you regret it? I've gone through this and I understand okay, but give them the reasons. Give them the life

00:59:55--> 00:59:59

experience. Give them what you went through how you how your mind has changed.

01:00:00--> 01:00:15

I try to make it as close to them as possible with as much evidence as possible. And then after all that it's up to them because some would have to they have to commit the same mistake in order for them to realize what you're saying.

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I don't think there's anything online or could be coming.

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Anything on the brother site that

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Oh, familia

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are looking around

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you're

01:00:43--> 01:00:44

there, you're there.

01:00:48--> 01:00:49

I thought I heard

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So,

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how do you determine if somebody is not worth it? Right?

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Like, after you try and try and you keep trying, and you notice from their character from the flaws that they have, that it is too difficult to change them.

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There are some bad qualities for instance, the person who's always ungrateful, right, the person always remembers your mistakes, but not your good deeds. There are things that you keep trying and trying and trying, but there is such enough

01:01:32--> 01:02:16

lack of character, or flood character, evil character in them, that is just bringing you more harm than good to keep trying. And there is you have diminished hope of changing them. Okay. So when that's the case, the See, it's better that I invest my time and effort somewhere else. So there will be people, right. I mean, we know there are people who believe online people and disbelieve in Allah, people who despite your best effort will still disbelieve in Allah subhanho wa taala. So if Allah deems it so that there will be people that have little good in them, if you encounter them. And if you find out ultimately that there is little good in them, then you shouldn't keep wasting

01:02:16--> 01:02:32

your time on them, you will not know until you try. But there is sometimes with again, maybe related to this story with more experience, you will begin to know some of the signs and some of these characters that you need to avoid right

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now.

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So if it says if the same scenario that the brother was talking about, which is that if they're not worth the effort, but they are ill relative, should we continue to push

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and try to fix them, right. And of course, if they are a relative, there are two things happening here. One is that you owe them more.

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And it's not easy to disconnect. So you're bound. If they're just a friend or an acquaintance, you could just simply go your way, separate ways. And that'd be fine. A relative on the other hand, you have connected. So we say there is more of a need to put to push. It's also for your own sake, not only for their own sake, it's also for your own sake, because if you fix them, it's less stressful for you. Okay, whenever you're around them. So and also because that because of that connection, I mean, who's going to take care of them strangers, not likely, but blood ties. So you push more, and you try and me you may ultimately decide that,

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that I can't do anything. And you could reach that stage and that limit, and if you reach it after trying and do and trying and do it, then you've reached it. So it's important, right? When we're saying give advice and be nice and this this this there are some who will suck the energy out of you, right? Some who will suck all the all the goodness out of you. Just because you keep trying you have to realize your limits and also how much actually they are reformable or that

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you want to ask, Oh, it's here, okay.

01:04:27--> 01:04:27

Sure.

01:04:31--> 01:04:31

Okay.

01:04:34--> 01:04:59

If you want to give advice to someone that knows what they're doing is haram and they're guilty, should you still give the advice or just let them figure it out? No, if they know that what they're doing is wrong, still give them advice, even if they know what they're doing is wrong. Because sometimes you need to hear it from somebody else. You need to hear that this is wrong. Because as you're doing it, you can justify that to yourself. You could say well, it's not as bad I have excuses. I'll repent later.

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But when you emphasize that this is wrong, they could wake up. That's why we need advice. That's why we need reminders. Right? Yeah. What is a reminder that Kira, you know it, but you kind of kind of forgot it, but you know it. So you need somebody to come and tell you, hey, remember that this is wrong. So no, you give him advice.

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You mentioned to increase in prayer and repentance when trying to rebuild a relationship. However, if one person makes the effort to increase in prayer, and repentance, should the other person do the same? Absolutely. So when I'm saying that, and he that's a good question in terms of, of how do you fix a relationship if the other person is not trying to? Right? So am I saying that both parties have that relationship? Or all parties have that relationship? Do I need to do the same? STOP SINNING and OBEY Allah? Zoda? Absolutely, because the foundation should be the pleasure of Allah and you cannot have the pleasure of Allah if somebody is doing right and the others doing wrong. So

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everybody needs to repent, everybody needs to do well.

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That what do you do when someone realized that the problem and they're trying to reform but the other is not? Is still is it's still going to work? There see, yeah, it's still gonna work. Because we hope that your effort is going to fix that. Your effort is going to bring that person closer to Allah azza wa jal, your DUA is gonna help. So this is the best that you could do. You can say, well, since they've given up or since they are sinful, there is no use anymore. Now you will say I'll fix myself and be closer to Allah, as noted. And in doing that, Allah me fix them.

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And let me bring them closer, the relationship could be stronger. So you definitely, definitely everybody, but if not, whoever is aware of the problem that should insha Allah take care of it.

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So what is the hack, I have to give a toxic parent when I no longer want a relationship with them? I understand that not all family relationships are easy, I understand.

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But Allah azza wa jal, kind of still, once you kind of You can't cut them off, right? You can't cut them off.

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And the more that you strive, the more that you struggle, the more that Allah has done rewards you. Now, I don't know what you mean by a toxic parent I, in a sense, Believe you in that they harm you. Right? And that could be the case, I understand that. But at the same time, right? If we're going to give

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everybody the

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if you're going to let everybody just cut their parents off because they're angry with them, or they're tough on them, or they're getting more and more difficult to deal with, then no one is going to talk to their parents. Right? So we need to kind of develop a patience, patience. And what May Allah save everybody? What if Allah azza wa jal gave you a disabled child?

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Who is hard to deal with?

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What do you do?

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Is your child what do you do? Would you consider that what?

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Let's say a test from Allah as it was also a blessing in the sense of Allah rewards you for that. So if somebody gives you If Allah gives you a difficult parent,

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right, then that's another test. Okay. And you are in jihad as long as you are trying. Okay. Now there is, there are ways for you to limit that toxicity, maybe by talking to them about it by shielding yourself from their comments by not taking that seriously, I don't know what type of toxicity we're talking about. But there are ways of shielding yourself from it.

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But don't let that undermine your entire relationship with them. You could make give them too.

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You can talk to somebody and you definitely would need to talk to somebody about the specific reasons why you don't want to be close to them and how you could deal with those things. And maybe there is a solution that you don't know.

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Right? So don't give up yet. Right? And you maintain at least a minimum of a relationship with them. And even if there is some distance, but at least a minimum of a relationship, where you see what they need and you take care of it and you don't upset them you don't harm them. That's a minimum inshallah.

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For you.

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So Monica, Monica Salam, if one overlooks and forgives, even after repeated negativity, harm and toxicity to you. Is it foolish to keep being patient and keep trying and maybe face harm? Or is that what we are supposed to do? So this is ties to what the brother was talking about if you keep overlooking and forgiving and over and over and over again,

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After some time, you realize that that person is simply taken advantage of you that person is harmful that person is

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detrimental to your iman and you try and you try and it's not working, there is going to come a point, after giving them advice, the benefit of the doubt with much patience and much dua, there's gonna come a point where you say I can't maintain that relationship. It's not it's not helpful, healthy, it's not helpful. So you start to withdraw, you don't need to stop completely, you can still exchange Salam, but you withdraw from that relationship, so it's not as harmful. So you would have to be the assessor of that. Okay, or somebody who can give you advice, but you'd have to give them the details of who that person is. And that negativity and how long you've been trying to give

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you advice. But generally, you keep trying, as long as you see good in that person. And there is no benefit than harm.

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And you still have hope. If there's more harm than benefit, and you have no hope, then you withdraw.

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Okay, so all these things are really saying about try your best, that does not apply to someone who is harmful. I don't want to use the word toxic, because I don't know what they were toxic means, right?

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So I don't want to like give it currency by saying toxic, toxic, toxic, I don't know what the word toxic means. But if somebody is harmful, then that harm is I mean, it's harmful, that harm is harmful.

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If someone is harmful, then you avoid that. And you need to protect yourself. Right? So if that's beyond your ability, then it's beyond your ability alone.

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And maybe we'll make this the last one.

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How do you stop yourself from feeling like a hypocrite when you want to advise someone but you're also committing the same sin?

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will say to yourself, is giving him advice a bad or not?

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I mean, regardless of what you're doing at that moment, but giving him advice isn't a worship in itself? You say yes. Could it help him? Yes. Could it save him? Yes. Should I then stop and not give him that advice? Just because I'm weak and I'm doing the same sin? No.

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So look at it as another act of worship, another act of a bad don't fail at that.

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And then go back and feeling like a hypocrite is not a bad thing, then go back to yourself and say, you can be giving people advice and then violating your own advice. So stop. But if you see somebody who needs your help, who needs your advice, despite your shortcomings, it's an act of a better to save them to guide them. So that's not hypocrisy. That's worship of Allah azza wa jal and then go back and be hard on yourself and stop yourself from committing that's it.

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So we'll stop here in a little bit. Alameen Subhanak along with him digger shadow Allah, Isla Hale and the stuff with regard to where they could handle a lot of data means Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah.