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Is it love Valentine’s Day & the Meaning of Love

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Ali Albarghouthi

Channel: Ali Albarghouthi

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

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Smilla he would hamdu lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah, he were ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salam.

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This is a special talk.

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special lecture. We usually don't do it on Sundays Sunday night.

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But this is about directly or indirectly it's about Valentine's Day. And it's much more than just Valentine's Day, since it's on the 14th. And some of you might be actually listening to this. And it's the 14th already for you. But some of us who are still on the 13th of February tomorrow for us will be Valentine's Day.

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And Valentine's Day is that type of celebration that permeates a culture. Yeah, it started in Western countries, but it had spread to so many countries in the world today. And as I said, it just permeates a culture. You see it in ads on TV magazines. store fronts decorate themselves to celebrate Valentine's Day, shelves inside those stores, new products, commercial activities in general right sales just because of Valentine's Day. And then chocolate,

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strawberries, red roses,

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restaurant, dining, a greeting cards, all these are the means of celebrating that day.

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And this does seem like light hearted fun. I mean, there's nothing really sinister about it.

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But we really want to dig deeper and dissect this celebration. In one way, understanding Valentine's Day better, but also understanding love and celebration of love.

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What is love? And what do we celebrate about love.

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So when you try to trace the origin of Valentine's Day, you will see ironically, really, that Valentine had nothing to do with love.

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That is the festival itself. And you can trace it probably its origins to a pagan Roman festival

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dedicated to fertility, to the God of Roman fertility. So we say it's pagan because it predates Christianity, it's about the god of fertility, as we said, it's Roman.

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And the celebration, it's was called Lupercalia.

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Celebration happened on the 15th of February.

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And the priests, the Roman priests would come and they would slaughter some animals, then young men will take pieces of that animal, and they will go out and try to tap or strike young females with it to increase the fertility of the land, and the fertility of woman. And as we said, all of this was done in dedication to the fertility god in Rome. So And some said that there's coupling like there is kind of sex between men and women during those festivities. So this happened on the 15th of February.

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Now, the Catholic Church, later on, decided to commemorate the martyrdom of Valentines. There's no one Valentine or talking but probably about two, or maybe even three who are executed or martyred on February 14 different tiers, but the same day, so the church decided we're going to commemorate that on the 14th that became an established

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commemoration.

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And then the Catholic Church later on decided what decided that because we want to move people away from Lupercalia because even after Christianity, people still celebrated Lupercalia and it was about fertility. And you can see kind of the connection between fertility, sex and love. So are we what love is really about sexual intercourse and increase fertility of women and the land in general. So they wanted to sanitize that festivity. So they decided to combine both of them. So St. Valentine's commemoration on the 14th becomes also Lupercalia to just simply sanitize it.

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It gained kind of more momentum

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and became more popular as English poets Chaucer and Shakespeare talked about it. So from that time, till today

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St Valentine became associated with love, even though Valentine had really nothing to do with love. It's a pagan festival that gets combined to the martyrdom of Valentine. And so you get Valentine and love and the love that we're talking about really remember it's fertility and sex.

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But you can still see kind of the traces, even though we're talking about an old origin of the festival, you can still see the traces of Roman religion in it.

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Because Cupid, Cupid is the Roman god of love. You know, that child, that baby who has wings, and he has those arrows, and he chooses them and people fall in love. Because of that, well, Cupid is the Roman god of love. So you can still see the traces of its Roman origins, even till today. But you don't identify you don't really see that little cute baby as a god, but he is supposed to be this mischievous Roman god of love.

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Now,

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someone may say, Well, fine, I understand the origins of that date. And that they could be problematic, but I'm not really celebrating anything Christian, I'm not really celebrate or celebrating anything pagan. I'm just really celebrating love on that day, and I'm taking my wife out for a nice dinner, I'm buying her gifts, this and that, what is wrong with this.

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And that's an opportunity really, for us just to simply understand love a little bit better. If we understand love a little bit better, we'll understand whether this is okay or not, and what our actual, we are actually celebrating on that day. So it's really a good opportunity for us to understand even ourselves and what we love. See, if you just kind of scan all the emotions that we have, love is the most powerful of our emotions. It's impossible to celebrate to separate humans from love.

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You cannot stop loving, whether it is yourself or things around you. And it is this love that motivates all other emotions and all other activities. So in essence, humans are there to love and to be loved.

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And in fact, we can say that Allah azza wa jal created us to love and to be loved, so that I have a need in me to love something, I have to love someone else. And I need them like essentially, I need them to love me back. That's why we see praise and recognition and all of this, because we think these are signs of love. I need people to love me, or at least few people to love me, I can't survive without it. And I need to share my love with somebody else. Allah azza wa jal just made us that way. And it's actually beautiful, beautiful that Allah azza wa jal had made us that way. So we're always are seeking love, and looking for it, and happy when we find it. So if that is an

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internal right and an incessant unstoppable force in us, and a desire to find it, that means that we spend all of our lives looking for it

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from the time that we're conscious, but even before that, the time of our death, we are really looking and searching for love. And sometimes we look for it in the right places, and sometimes we look for it in the wrong places. Sometimes we seek love in marriage in a mate, sometimes in Halal ways. Sometimes in extramarital affairs. Sometimes we seek our loves in our in our loving our children,

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in our pet, in our parents, in our friends,

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in fame, and being popular in money. So all these space as a space as all those spots are areas where we think we can get more love.

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Or rather, let's say we are really looking not only for just love, we're looking for

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the ultimate love.

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We really are looking for that ultimate love. And the things that we mentioned we talked about here, spouses and children and parents and friends and fame and what have you. The problem with loving them, and it's not wrong to love. Some of the things that we talked about, well, fame and popularity really is not something that we should crave. But the problem or the imperfection in that type of love is that it doesn't last. So if you love beauty

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if you love someone because they are beautiful, you'll notice that with time that beauty will fade will go away.

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If you love

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fame well

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fame and popularity doesn't last money doesn't last.

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And the closer that you stay to someone,

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the more that you get used to them. And the more that you see their imperfections. So if you're seeking perfection in what you love, and I'm saying that part of us is seeking that ultimate love.

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And we'll talk about what does it mean to be ultimate? What does that mean for that love to be ultimate, but the more that you stay around something, the more that you notice its imperfections, and the more that you really get tired of it. So you buy something new and you, you couldn't wait to get the thing. Once you have it in your hand, what happens? get tired of it, the more that you spend time around it, you notice that it's not as perfect as you thought it could be. It's not making you as happy as you thought it would make you.

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There's something missing in it. So you kind of like discarded a little bit and start looking for something else that will excite you, and you romanticize the ownership or the proximity of that other thing, that other thing is going to be better, that other thing is going to make me happier, that other thing will be more perfect than what I have. So you move on from one thing to the other. For some people really, it's from one lover to the other. Because once they get that lover close to them, they notice that they're not everything that they wanted them to be. So maybe the next person will be or the one after that, or the one after that. But that is really futile. Because you really

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are looking for what perfection, and perfection and sense of what something that will last. Something that will stay something that will comfort you all the time. Something that can give you answers when you are when you have questions, something that

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gives you meaning.

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Love is about finding meaning as well. So something that gives you meaning somebody is something that feels like home.

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And that you could finally let go of all your anxieties, and just relax and bask in that love. That's the love that we're looking for. And when you seek it in things, you find that those things cannot give it to you. Right? No car, no house, you know, subhanAllah you know, you could get a palace. After some time of spending time in it, you'll look at it and you will do you wouldn't even feel that it's a palace.

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And you will get tired of it and you'll think maybe I should find something else and somewhere else. I got tired of this. If somebody feeds you, your favorite food every single day, you'll be tired of it. That's the nature of this life. So what you're seeking is here on the inside, that that impulse to find love, what you're seeking is the ultimate and that is Allah subhanho wa Taala

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every other love leads to him everybody, other love is a sign that is taking you to Allah azza wa jal and so you say I love this, but Hamdulillah I have children Hamdulillah I have money Alhamdulillah I have a spouse, I have a house I have this, but their imperfection leads you to think about the perfect which is Allah azza wa jal. So you are really

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looking for Allah and when Allah created love in you, He created that in you so you can find him. See the idea that soulmate is actually and supposed to be about finding Allah as though Did you know that idea of a soulmate where

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you're searching your entire life to find that one person who's your perfect love, and it's just only one person on earth, not anybody else will do just one person on earth. So you'll always remain

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deficient hollow until you find that person and when they find you or you find them, they complete you. That's the idea of the soulmate. They just complete you, you just don't need anyone or anything else, after finding them. In fact, this is Allah Zoda non another human being. Allah had put that desire in you to look for him. So you keep looking for this. Love that love trying this love trying that love, but they fail to satisfy you, pushing you towards Allah Azza origin and Allah is revelation. And Allah's worship, by the way, are all designed to teach you who Allah is so that you can love Allah.

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Really right if you think about it, Allah sent His revelation to tell you about him. Why?

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Because when you know Allah as noted you will love him. And when you worship Allah as origin and yes, worship

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In its beginning like fasting, it's not an easy worship. But fasting kind of liberates you from this world so that your soul can rise and love Allah Zoa Do you feel closer to Allah in Ramadan? Isn't that the case? Typically? Why do you feel closer to Allah in Ramadan you are liberated

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from food and drink and the desires of the body and you are injected with this extra dose of Eman worship. That's what brings that a man see if you have closer to Allah and when you're closer to Allah, you could sacrifice for his sake you can know that you love Him and He loves you so becomes easier to sacrifice for Allah xojo And no other love can give you a what Allah's love can because Allah's love can answer all your questions can make you promises that will never be broken, love Allah, and you don't have to worry about tomorrow. love Allah, and you have someone who's perfect loving you back, not because of your money, not because of how beautiful you look, or if you're thin

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or not, not because of your accomplishments, but because of your Atlas, sincerity. So Allah loves you because of that, and that comforts you and you know that you will never be alone because he will never let go of you. As long as you're close to him, he will never let go of you. And you know that if you ask Him for anything, he will give it to you. At any time of any day. No human can do this. And if you get broken, and if you get burdened, you can always turn to Allah doesn't matter what you do. I mean, you you could alienate a human being even if they love you, you can alienate them, they can start hitting you, but you could never lose Allah xojo As long as you go back to him, everything

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is wiped clean. You don't have any send anymore. If you repent, Allah azza wa jal loves you if you love him, Allah azza wa jal wants you to be close to him. subhanho wa taala.

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So when we seek that love anywhere else, we get disappointed. We get frustrated and we get depressed. Here I tried, I tried to love someone, I gave him all of my heart, and he threw it back at me. I left someone and I thought I belong there. I found my home and they betrayed me.

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So that's the frustration of what giving all of your heart to a single person. No, all of your heart should be given to Allah as origin. That's what we what we mean our utmost love, complete love. That's what a Betta is. That's how Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam loved Allah. This is how Ibrahim Alayhi Salatu was Salam loved Allah as though did complete love that liberates you from false loves. And then on top of that, Allah azza wa jal injects more love into your life.

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When you love Allah, Allah as he grants you more love into your life, because this is what Islam does.

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You think about it. This is what Islam does. This is what Allah azza wa jal loves. That is when you love Allah and you follow what he loves. You'll have more love in your life.

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Because Allah reminds you be good to your parents, reminds your parents to be good to you, to love you and for you to love them. Be good to your spouse, love your spouse, love your children, love your neighbor, love other Muslims behave well. don't suspect other Muslims don't say bad things about them, don't back bite them, don't insult them. So Allah azza wa jal creates and

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enjoy injects more love into your life when you love him Subhanallah with that,

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and the opposite is true. When you stray away, the shaitaan receives you.

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And the shaitaan does what destroys the love that you have,

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destroys the love that you have, because shaytan wants to sadden you in every possible way. So he finds that there are those two friends who are close. He has to ruin that friendship. If he finds that there are two who are married and they're happily married, and they don't protect themselves from the shaytaan he wants to destroy that union.

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So any love, he is going to destroy and he will try to pollute so you admire someone she admires you. There is a way for you to grow that admiration grow that love in ways that are pleasing to Allah azza wa jal and there are ways for you to destroy that love and to attain that love if you listen to the shaytaan the way of the Shaitaan

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seems at times easier,

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more interesting, more enticing, but the shaitaan does that so he can destroy that love

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channel without any you know, you know any way other biller he does that so he can destroy that love. So that's why we say Allah azza wa jal is not only or does not only give love, Allah also wants to do what he wants to guide and correct our love. So that we love the right thing the right way. And that's really important. Love, sometimes is bad.

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Notice that we said that love is the strongest emotion that we have as true. But it's not always good, right? Like sometimes you can love things that are bad for you. If you love to drink alcohol, or to smoke, or somebody loves free money, and he's decides I love to steal. That's not the right type of love. Loving the dunya loving money loving fame is not the right type of love.

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So not all love is healthy.

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And not all love can be expressed in the right way sometimes love it could be excessive or expressed in ways that are wrong. So if you love someone so much that you become so jealous and suspicious of them, we say jealousy, destructive jealousy is not a right way of expressing your love, of experiencing love.

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So even there's an instance where

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someone came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and they said oh prophet of Allah. You're the Prophet of Allah. And the people of the book, they prostrate to their priests and you are a prophet of Allah. Should we not prostrate to you?

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And the prophets Allah Allah wa sallam forbade that adamantly for big data and he said, I would not no one should prostrate to another human being. Now that sahabi, the companion who had asked the prophets a lot of you sell them for permission to do this to prostrate. So Jude, two as a greeting for the Prophet sallallahu Sallam did that out of what love and respect.

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Yet the Prophet said, that would be the wrong expression of that love.

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No, that is a mistake. So not all love can be expressed, right? You need to understand how to express it right? And what to love and what not to love and only Allah Azzawajal can tell us that this is the right way to love. That's the wrong way to love. This is the good thing to love and that's bad for you, so you shouldn't love it. Only Allah azza wa jal has the wisdom and knows things as they are. And he is the one who can tell us what and how to love. So from that, we want to jump to this question, a really important question, which is that is all love good? Now, we already answered that question.

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We're saying that not all love is good. Some love is good. And some love is not. And if you just digest this point today, Hamdulillah you really have would have gotten something really significant. Not all love is good. Although in popular culture, it's treated as if it's an absolute good. Love is just good. Love is the answer. But we have to ask what type of love

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is loving anything and everything good in itself. Or there are some types of love that are not good for you. Do any two people who fall in love any two people who fall in love? And no matter how they express that love? Could that be celebrated? Or the other some types of love that are forbidden that are haram

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and sometimes have expressions of love that are forbidden and haram Zina? If somebody comes and says, Well Xena isn't it an expression of love? Do we say yes, and we celebrate that? Or do we say that's a mistake? Even if you love each other? That's a mistake. Wait, wait until you get married. So not all love is good. And not all love expressions of love are good. And when you we don't listen to Allah azza wa jal love can turn to be something that is very destructive, either in terms of what we love,

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or how we love it.

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Alright, so on all of our emotions, we need the guidance of Allah as the origin.

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Now also notice that in the way that Valentine's Day is celebrated. It is basically commercial activity. It's the commercialization of love.

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It's really we can call it either even corporate law

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Now when we reduce love

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to specific commercial activities of buying things, and spending money, and by the way, it's really big business. That's why corporations love that day. And they advertise that day because they make a ton of money out of it. Of all those people who believe that this is what they're supposed to do to express love, they go and they pie and they spend a lot of money. And they do this, maybe willingly or reluctantly, but it has been planted in their heads, this is what you need to do. To prove your love, you need to go and spend money and buy chocolates and buy flowers and take a person out for a dinner

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spent. So when we reduce love, which is this noble emotion that we talked about, to how many dollars you spend on that day, what are we doing to Love Itself?

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We're reducing it to dollar signs. And we're also doing what we're comparing

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what had been given to me, I compare that to what had been given to somebody else. So on that day, I received a, b, and c, but my neighbor, my sister, my so and so somebody else, they received more. And that's means that their husband loves them more than you love me.

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So again, comparing ourselves to others based on how much money gets spent on that day.

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So it gets reduced or debased to few ceremonies that are done on that day. And then we have to ask ourselves really is this really love?

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How many dollars you've spent on one day? And just few actions on one day? Is that really what we think of love? And what love is? If that's the case, would we then object? Or why would we then object to Mother's Day when

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a son could go and pick up his mother from retirement home and takes her out to a fancy lunch, gives her a card gives her flower flowers. Then after the celebration takes her back to that retirement home and says See you next year. I've done my part, because Mother's Day is when I honor my mother on Mother's Day, this is what I did check, check and check. So his pie his his

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piety towards his mother.

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God reduced to one, two and three activities on one day. Now how we behave the rest of the

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love, as we understand it is how you are every day. How you speak, how you behave, how kind you are, not how much money you spend,

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not how you prove yourself to your mate, by buying and comparing yourself to other people succumbing to the pressure of I have to behave in certain ways that are culturally dictated, not even religious, but culturally dictated. I need to behave in this and that way. And that is how I prove my love, not how the next day I treat my wife and I treat my husband or a week from now or a year from now.

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So our festivals, our AIDS

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are different.

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Like the age of fertile and evil otter, they're different. How different are they different because what you're celebrating is something that Allah loves and it's definitive. You know exactly what it is. You're celebrating after a bad day after the worship of Allah azza wa jal you're celebrating after a month of fasting you're celebrating the after or during the month and performance of hajj.

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There is fasting involves there is sadaqa involved even the celebration itself, you pray and then you give sadaqa in after Ramadan, or you donate meat in a lot haha.

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And you remember Allah azza wa jal and then you also visit families and friends and you exchange gifts if you want, and you spend money if you want, but the origin the basis of that festivity is well known to all of us, we know where it came from, and we know that it's pleasing to Allah on what we do on that day is pleasing to Allah Subhana Allah to add.

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That's how different our festivities are.

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Now the festivities of Valentine or any other I carry with them values and assumptions

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and

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a history

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that you accept whether you know, or whether you know,

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that is any celebration, right and you think about it sit and think about any celebration. Every celebration is a reflection of a nation's values, heritage, where it sees itself and how it sees itself, and how it sees itself in the future, that it's always a reflection of that. It has always the imprint of the past, and the present. And it's always an always has values, whether you know that or not, and you accept those values slowly, whether you know it or not. So the values are about accepting all type of types of love without condemnation without judgment is about the commercialization of our values and our emotions.

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It's about ceremonies that are supposed to mean something while they don't mean anything.

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If you accept that if you partake in it, whether you know it or not, you're accepting those values, and you're more accepting of the behavior that happens on that day, whether you know it or not. Once you celebrate, you're slowly begun begin to accept what happens on that day talking about any festival, any festival, you begin to accept whatever happens on that day, and not seeing that there's anything wrong with it. So what is wrong with that, and then even accepting some of its history, and some of its origins and not seeing that there's anything wrong with it. That's why Muslims celebrations are unique, because they emanate from our practice. They emanate from our

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history. They emanate from the pleasure of Allah azza wa jal, and where you want to go, your celebration is a

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future predictor of worry of where you want to be, as if you want to be in Jenner. If you want to be pleasing to Allah azza wa jal, then you really strive to make your eat the best eat, before and during and after.

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But if you're celebrating something else, you have to take note of where it came from, because it's hard for it to escape its origins. And you have to take note of how it's being celebrated. Because if I celebrate it like them, like everybody else, I'm also accepting the values of everybody else. And as we said, not all love is good. And not all expressions of love are good, and not all love can be celebrated. The absolute is Allah azza wa jal, who's always good love sometimes as we said, is good. And sometimes it is not.

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And we can take maybe that time in sha Allah, to reflect on the fact that celebrating love really should be about finding the ultimate love in our lives.

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Allah azza wa jal gave us

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the ability to love

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and the ability and and the blessing of being loved. And he did that so that we could use that, to love people around us. Yeah. But also defined Allah azza wa jal, by that love.

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And to know that through that love, you can find Allah says, if I know that

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the love that my parents have for me, was made possible by Allah. The love that I have for my children, was put in me by Allah azza wa jal.

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The fact that anyone who has ever helped me and will ever help me and they did that out of love for me, they did that because Allah made it possible for them to do it.

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You will know that all the love that you received, Allah was behind it.

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And all the love that you have Allah azza wa jal put in you just that sweet sensation of feeling that you could love someone and then receiving that love back that that feeling Allah has given it to. So when you know Allah was behind all of that, he must know them that Allah's love is greater than all of that love combined. Just like Allah's Mercy is greater than the entire mercy of all human beings combined, all put together, from the time of Adam till the Day of Judgment, if you put all the mercy that every human had, all the mercy of ima that they've ever felt it felt they put it all together, is still pales in comparison to the Mercy of Allah azza wa jal and similarly the love

00:34:38--> 00:34:39

that Allah has,

00:34:41--> 00:34:44

is greater than the love of all of humanity combined.

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So Allah azza wa jal loves, and he wants you to love him. Subhana Allah to Allah. So see through the love of humanity, the love of people around you know from that the love of Allah, and the love of Allah is

00:35:00--> 00:35:23

greater, and the love of Allah azza wa jal is so unique that it will never disappear and will never disappoint and will be always there for you. So when we were talking about Valentine's Day, rather than think about just human love, think about Allah's love. And think how Allah's love can make all other love richer in your life.

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So you can learn to forgive people around you and love them better and deeper. So you can love your neighbor better, so you can be a better Muslim and a better human being. Allah azza wa jal teaches you in Islam, how to love Subhan Allah really Islam is that religion of love. And Allah azza wa jal is Allah dude. One of his name Subhan, Allah to Allah is Allah dude, the one who loves and wants to be loved, WANTS YOU TO THE LOVE OF HIM Subhana wa down and not out of need, but he loves for you to love him. Because through that he loves you subhanho wa Taala and He created everything out of love. And he sent his revelation out of love Subhan Allah Allah is Allah dude. So that name tells you a

00:36:10--> 00:36:15

lot about him Spanner with the Allah. So just as as a recap,

00:36:16--> 00:37:05

the origin of Valentine's Day, we know where it came from, it's both Christian and pagan Roman, it was a celebration of fertility. And we describe that and Valentine's martyrdom. And we describe that. So those are the origins and also the way that we describe it, that it's celebrated today. On the one hand, it's quite crass and commercial. On the other hand, also it has values in it that celebrate all love, and all expressions of love. And we as even as rational beings, not even I'm not even just talking as Muslims, even non Muslims can see this. But as rational, wise human beings, we have to take note of that and say, I disagree with that type of celebration. I disagree with those

00:37:05--> 00:37:55

types of values, I think we can do better. Rather than this cultural obsession with spending money on a particular day, think deeper about what love means, and how you can enhance it, how you can bring it into your life. And if you want to really spend money, spend money on things that are useful, things that are needed, things that will help you and those who are around you now simply because it was advertised, or because it's expected of you to do this, just to simply prove your love will love them. So this is as I said, it was a special session just to simply talk about Valentine's Day, I noticed that I didn't say to you today, it is Khaled It is haram, you probably

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will be able to glean from what I said, What do you should celebrate or not. The issue here wasn't to tell you or instruct you celebrate or don't celebrate Valentine's Day, I wanted you to know where it came from, what we think as Muslims, what we think of love, and how the present celebration of Valentine's Day has problems in it. And that as a Muslim. You know what sometimes Subhanallah I'm surprised at how non Muslims can see these things and they rise above them, and how some Muslims fall really right into the practice of all of these things, seeing nothing wrong with them. What I'm seeing is that even as just a wise being a wise human being, and on top of that a Muslim, you could

00:38:39--> 00:38:56

see these practices and say to yourself, I see a problem there, I see a problem. And that's not the type of celebration that Allah azza wa jal has designed for us. You compare your aid to this and you'll see the difference in it. Allahu Allah.

00:39:01--> 00:39:17

So, in sha Allah 101 thing on sha Allah that I wanted to say before and please if you have questions, please in sha Allah do write your questions down. I see that there is one right here I apologize if I miss it, but one thing inshallah that I wanted to

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and I put it there in the links, I'm going to just try to show it here on screen, I hope you can see it.

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So this is the link and I posted it as a comment on Facebook and YouTube. The book that you see here behind me This is love. So this is a latest that I've written and it collects 40 Hadith on love. And this is a link for you. If you are in North America, will you be able in sha Allah to purchase that book? The reason why I'm telling you about it is because I think that all of us need to know more about love in Islam, how Allah azza wa jal is connected to love. How the Prophet sallallaahu Selim is connected to love how we pray.

00:40:00--> 00:40:43

preached it. How Islam is really the religion that enhances and protects love. We need to know about all of these things because I think love is missing from most of our lives. I'm talking about human beings love is missing for most of our lives, and we're looking forward and we don't know how and where to look for it. It is there in Islam, what do you need to know more about it? So, you know, I hope that that book will answer that question in sha Allah, Allah mean. So as I said, I posted that on Facebook, I posted that on YouTube, and I hope in sha Allah, that you will have an opportunity to look at it and share it and read it and benefit from it. And if you do Insha Allah, share that

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information with others. And let them know that Islam is the religion of love, when it's no, we're not pretending we're telling you that based on the Quran based on the sooner this is how Islam is the religion of love.

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So there's a question here is Ali Khan Salaam? How do we advise those Muslims who wish and celebrate openly,

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you tried to be in sha Allah as

00:41:12--> 00:41:39

compassionate as understanding and as gentle as possible? Because we're living in an age today's of Pamela, where a lot of us feel this distance from religion. And when you keep telling them, this is haram, this is haram. This is wrong, this is good. They just even run even further away from religion. If you want to tell them, You tell them that based on their level of knowledge. For some people,

00:41:40--> 00:42:06

just knowing that something is disallowed is enough. For some people, they need to be convinced. They need to see what is wrong with it, even though if you tell them it's disallowed, they still need to see what is wrong with it. So explain to them what is wrong with it. Explain the origins of that festival. And that they the celebration still carries that

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Prince prints of that past, whether it's Christian, or pagan. Explain to them how that celebration today has problems with it. How spending money for the sake of spending money and succumbing to that corporate pressure is a problem in itself. How what if you don't have money, let's just think about it. What if you don't have money to spend on that day, you don't have money to buy chocolates, you don't have money to buy flowers, you don't have money to buy those things, doesn't mean that you love your wife less just because you cannot spend?

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And what if you take that money that you're supposed to spend, I don't know, 100 200 or more dollars on that one day for a fancy dinner or for flowers and chocolate? What if you take that money, and you give it to someone who can live off of that money for a month buying groceries? And what have you? Would that not be better as a celebration of love than that vain expression by just buying certain things and only those reflect love?

00:43:12--> 00:43:21

Right? I think I mean, I mean, subhanAllah because some cultural practices, when you think about them, just They just make you dumb.

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They just make you dumb by conformity is why should I spend that much money on that particular day? Where the prices of everything just skyrocket? Just because everybody's buying the same thing? For no good reason? Why should I spend so much money on things that I don't need, don't need, rather than save up for something that I need or actually give it to someone who actually needs it. So you want to celebrate that day, take that money and give it to someone who's in need, that would be much better. So give them an alternative if they insist on celebrating that day. But just tell them that it has problems in it and I've tried to highlight some of those problems. Take that and share that

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with them or if you see other problems with it, share that and say, if you want Allah to bless your love, what do you do? You will be a lawsuit.

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And if you want that blessing to go away from your love, what do you do you disobey Allah azza wa jal. I'm not telling you that your love is going to be cursed.

00:44:25--> 00:44:29

Right? If you celebrate Valentine's Day, but

00:44:31--> 00:44:47

if you disobey Allah as an in general when it comes to your love to your spouse, to the person that you love, you disobeyed Allah azza wa jal for their sake. Don't think that that love is going to be stronger. It won't face its problems. And that's a guarantee.

00:44:48--> 00:45:00

So we know that that the shaitaan strives repeatedly to destroy the love in your life. So when you obey the shaytaan He has power over you and whatever

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You love and when you disobeyed the shaytaan and obey Allah azza wa jal, the Shavon doesn't have has less power over what you love. So that's also something that we say you want to love to preserve your love. You love someone else someone so dearly. You say protect that love by what doing Hello. Staying away from the haram.

00:45:20--> 00:45:56

But if for the sake of that person, you're going to break Allah's laws, then that love is going to be compromised. So don't betray that love by compromising your Islam. This is how we will lo alum advise but again, as I say, try to be gentle try to be calm. Try to be nurturing as you give this answer and give it give the answer you don't have to argue you don't have to debate give the answer give the reasons and say now you have the information if you want to know more ask me but now you now have the information. do with it what you want

00:45:57--> 00:45:59

and love them think about it. Allah Allah

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Now this is a question here is a synthetic molecule Mr. Tao how to ensure we sincerely love Allah and to love Allah to the maximum of our heart.

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You try and you strive, you try and you strive and part of that includes asking Allah for it. So part of the DUA the prophets of Allah, He will send them Allahumma inni as Luca Hogberg, will Huberman you have book will have baml in your or the Buddha Hibiki Allah I ask you for your love, and to love those whom you love. And to love deeds that ring to your love.

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So part of it is asking Allah for it repeatedly. Just like whenever we want something we ask Allah for it right in the dunya

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Yeah, Allah give me success. Give me money, give my children a good job, give them good spouses. We ask Allah for the dunya you ask for the Acharya Allah, I ask for your love. I asked that I love you and for you to love me back.

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So to ask for a second is to understand how I could reach Allah's love and it's outlined there in Islam. So part of the Hadith that I put in that book, it gives you like a blueprint is one of those Hadith where the prophet Allah azza wa jal said, through His prophets a lot he was sent them so it's a hadith Madhava la Yap Devi in Habu ama mythos to Allah, you're not going to come closer to Allah with something that is more beloved to Allah than the obligations. So then the first step is to take care of your obligations. You can claim to love Allah, but not pray, or not fast, or not give Zika or not go to Hajj whenever if whenever and if Hajj is a possibility.

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But Zika is accessible, fasting is accessible, Salah is everyday everybody can and should pray. So the obligations are the foundations that take you to the love of Allah so that the more that you pray,

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and pray with concentration, awareness, you will love Allah more, the more that you make dua, you will love Allah more. The more that you read the Quran, you will love Allah more, the more that you make dua, you will love Allah more, the more that you remember ALLAH, you will love Allah more, because that's true of anything. The more you talk about it, you will love it more. And if you love something, you talk about it more, isn't it? This is how we how you know, by the way, what people love, spend time with them. I'm not telling you here to diagnose people. No, it's just, that's a reality. Not to analyze and diagnose but it's a reality. If you spend time with someone,

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when they talk about things and they repeatedly talk about them, that's those are the things that they love.

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So someone who wants to love Allah, talk about Allah. How do you talk about Allah mentioned him, stuck through Allah Al Hamdulillah Ilaha illa Allah, Allah Akbar and keep doing this. So we say the obligations do the Quran, vicar of Allah azza wa jal and then the Hadith says, Why is Allah updater horrible lamb No, actually Hector or Heba it says on my servant will continue to come closer to me with voluntary deeds, until I love him. That's the next stage.

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There's after the foundation, the obligations The next one is to do what? Voluntary deeds more voluntary, so that voluntary sadhaka, voluntary, good deeds, helping other people making dua for them. Being kind to your parents, to your neighbors to strangers on the on the street. All these things come together to be voluntary deeds that Allah loves. And the more that you do, the more that Allah loves you until he fully

00:50:00--> 00:50:00

loves you.

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So this is another thing to pay attention to. The third thing I would recommend also is insha. Allah

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empty your heart as much as you can have the love of the dunya.

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So don't preoccupy yourself with it, take of it as much as you need only, and the rest let go of it. Because the more that you love the dunya if you love the dunya more, it occupies more space in your heart, that should be given to Allah. And when you empty your heart of the love of the dunya, you can give more of it to Allah xojo.

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So that is the answer insha Allah and I hope it helps empty your heart of the love of the dunya. And you do that with worship, by the way, and with dua, and by staying away from the temptations of the dunya. You don't need the newest thing all the time, you don't need the most expensive thing all the time, you do need to come up to stay up to date with the latest trends and the latest, you know releases in the market, you could do without these things for a while. So less of the dunya. So that Allah azza wa jal, you know, can also you can give more of your attention to Allah xojo. So that's what I would recommend. And I hope insha Allah that was helpful.

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So this is the question also it says, I see some Muslim celebrities in my country showing on their social media, how they celebrate birthdays, and Valentine, what are the

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consequences? I think you were saying?

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And the the, quote, consequences,

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consequences, a lot of what is their consequences? I mean, and that's what's especially problematic about social media today, which is that when you make a mistake, just talking in general, I'm not talking about just simply birth birthdays and Valentine's Day, what do you make a mistake and you record it and your broadcast that everybody who sees it, and is influenced by it, is in the scale of your deeds. So if I see somebody, for instance, committing a haram, I'm talking in general, by the way, and they do this haram on social media, and I see it and it affects me, and I follow them.

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And I do it because I saw them doing it, they earn a sin because of what I did. So those are the consequences. So at least we say to people, if you want to share something, be positive, that this is pleasing to Allah.

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Be absolutely positive that this is pleasing to Allah. If you don't know keep it to yourself.

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If you don't know, keep it to yourself and keep the dunya to yourself, by the way, also as well. That I don't need to know.

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And we don't need to know that you just bought a new house, keep it to yourself. Why do we need to know that I bought a new car? Why do we need to know that? I've traveled to this exotic location? Why do we need to know that? Because that also, you know, makes the viewer the listener, the one who sees all of this, compare what they have to what you have. And that could sell in them as well. So keep it to yourself. Right? You know, I mean, use social media sparingly, use it wisely. But don't share everything that you have. And as it is said here, right? If you are celebrating something you're not supposed to celebrate. And the consequences is that this had become public. And if it's a

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sin, it's a public sin. So that's the kind of is a greater calamity. And then if somebody is influenced by that, then you carry the weight of that influence on your shoulder when you meet a lawsuit.

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We have here a question all sorts of very quick one here. Does the love of the dunya include wanting to have children No. Wanting to have children is desirable. The Prophet sallallahu sallam said to Katha who have a lot of children he sets a lot to send them so that desire is not part of loving the dunya unless you love by them to gain more power, right? Like the cathodal Hakuna Matata Katha

00:54:25--> 00:54:27

in one of the things that

00:54:28--> 00:54:37

thou old ARBs used to do and people tilted they do it in some areas is at the cathro I have more children than you which means that I'm better and stronger than you.

00:54:39--> 00:54:51

In Tanzania now. Holloman Camana Walla Dafa SRB remember the story in sort of El Cap of the two friends and the one who had those two gardens and he was wealthy and the other wasn't? And then his

00:54:52--> 00:54:59

pious believing friend, he says in Tony and Kalamunda if you see that I have less money and children then you

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means that that's one of the things that that person was proud of. Then unbelieving friend, I have more friends, I've have more sorry, I have more children, and I have more money than you. So if you're proud of your children, if you want to have them for these types of reasons, then they are part of the dunya. And that desire is part of the dunya. But if you just want to have them because of natural reasons, then this is allowed.

00:55:28--> 00:56:03

And if you want to have want to have them, but because see, Brahim wanted to have children, Korea wanted to have children out he was Salatu was Salam, right? The prophets always send them loved his children. So that natural desire to have a child is is absolutely fine. And it's not a part of the condemned love of the dunya that condemned love the dunya is what is either loving the Haram in the dunya are loving what takes you away from Allah azza wa jal, but the part of the dunya that could brings you closer to Allah is not condemned.

00:56:05--> 00:56:28

Okay? So the part of the dunya that takes you away from Allah is condemned the part of the Dounia that doesn't take you away from Allah azza wa jal, that is not how to Miss Helen, and doesn't distract you doesn't make you arrogant and proud and what have you, that is fine. And in fact, you can desire a child and that be a worship a brother.

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Because what do you want that child for?

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If you wanted that child to say, I want in addition to that natural desire that I have to have children, I also want that child because I want to please Allah xojo through that child, I wanted to raise that child to be a good Muslim and Muslim. I want them to know Allah, Allah, I want them to spread the good. I want to follow the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam all these things are good intentions. And you will having that child becomes rewardable.

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Loveable, Allah loves it, and loves you for it. So you can make having a child that Ava and that's by the way that this is why is the Korea and he said when he said yeah, he threw me away or he threw me earlier who he says he will inherit me and inherits from the family of Jaco, my ancestors inherit what?

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Not money because some people they simply want I want someone to an heir to take all of my money to carry my name. That's not what Zecharia was talking about. Yet. He thought he what he inherits my knowledge, and prophethood and stands up and preaches and brings people to Islam, and he corrects their misunderstandings and their misbehaviors. And by that takes them to Jenna, so he be a cause for people to enter Jenna. That's how he wanted to have a child. So if you want to have a child like he wanted to have a child, then may Allah reward you for that it's not part of the dunya that is condemned Allah

00:58:05--> 00:58:48

so at hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen. We've come to the conclusion of this lecture, I don't see any more questions about a Lo Fi COMM And again, remember in sha Allah that one of the reasons I did this lecture is, is to teach us more about love in Islam. And this is why I wanted to share the book with you because the celebration of love and fella Valentine's Day gets few things about love, but gets a lot of it wrong, gets a lot of it wrong. And so if you want to know how Allah azza wa jal loves and wants to be loved, how the prophets all you said and preached love, how Islam is the religion of love and how you can find love in the Quran and in the Sunnah and you can live your as a

00:58:48--> 00:58:57

Muslim, out of worshipping Allah with love, if you want to understand that then this is love the book this is love, I hope insha Allah can

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answer I hope, all your questions or if not all, most of your questions when it comes to love in Islam. So I hope in sha Allah,

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that that they will be able in sha Allah to get your hands on it and read it and benefit from it. There's here something if we want to have children to dedicate to the worship of Allah and we reap the one rewards from that but sometimes over time, these intentions may deviate. What do we do when that Nia deviates, you correct your Nia. So you have you want to have that intention to have children for the sake of Allah azza wa jal, but sometimes you know that you lose that intention along the way. And you forget about it. As soon as you notice that bring it back, just like in the Salah, when you begin to say Allahu Akbar, and you start, and you want to pray, and you want to be

00:59:50--> 01:00:00

aware of what you're saying, and then you daydream. And then you notice that you're daydreaming, what do you do you bring yourself back, you go into your record, you forget that while you were while you're doing

01:00:00--> 01:00:42

When your record, you bring your intention back. You bring your intention and attention back. And so an endorser do it and you keep doing that throughout the Salah. So when you need to changes, you change it back and remind yourself of the original reason why you wanted to do all of this. So if you wanted to have children for the sake of Allah azza wa jal make note of that, and maybe something that will help you insha Allah is how do you plan to do this? Like how do you want them to be for the sake of Allah? I want them to be able to do this and this and this. So that will take early preparations for that. How do you make them pious at an early age? How do we make them love Allah at

01:00:42--> 01:01:28

an early age? How do you introduce them to Allah to the Quran, to the sunnah to Islamic practice at an early age. So when you plan for it, you have an intention, but you plan for it. It's less likely or low alum that you Nia will, as you said, deviate from that original path that you have chosen for yourself? Well lo Allah. So Baraka low FICO, I asked Allah as noted that you are found this lecture helpful and that it had enlightened you on two points one valentine day, but even more importantly on what love is in Islam is all about. And may Allah azza wa jal, Muhammad Rahimi, makers of those whom he loves, and me Subhana Allah, Allah fill our hearts with His love, and the love for His

01:01:28--> 01:02:08

Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and the love for what he loves, and the loves and the love for the ones that he loves as well. We'll ask him Subhana Allah, to teach us our religion to make us of those who adhere to it. adhere to the Quran adhere to the sooner we ask Allah azza wa jal to take all of our suffering away. Yeah, Allah Allah, Allah Allah I mean if there's anyone among us or our loved ones, who is suffering, mentally or physically or otherwise, may Allah Allah but Allah mean bring complete healing to them and to us your hammer Raha mean, and make whatever we are going through an expiation for our sins, if forgiveness for them in dystonia, and in the NFL, give us

01:02:08--> 01:02:40

patients give us give us contentment, give us happiness in this life and happiness when we meet you. Your hammer Rahimi Baraka Lo Fi calm and in sha Allah we hope to see you soon in sha Allah in another program. In another series, we'll announce that insha Allah as soon as that becomes possible. Baraka Lo Fi comm Subhanak. Aloma will be handed a shadow under ilaha illa understa Furukawa to buoy Lake hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen Salam alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh