Channel: Alaa Elsayed
Series: Alaa Elsayed - To My Daughter
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smilla hamdulillah salat wa salam ala rasulillah salam aleikum, wa rahmatullah regard to my dear brothers Islam. Welcome back to another episode of to my daughter from the heart to the heart.
You made it. I'm so proud. you're graduating now. You pass the test. But not only that.
I can't tell you how proud I am. When you graduated, and I saw your name on a roll. Wow, I was looking for your name somewhere else. And I had no idea. You're somewhere up there.
I have no idea. We got to be that smart. You nanny. I can't take the credit for it. But hamdulillah You made me proud.
When I saw you walking down the aisle, I was thinking for another aisle. That's coming up soon, inshallah. But I have to tell you,
I'm eternally grateful that you had my name on your graduation certificate just reminds me.
You know, when I came to this country, 43 years ago, was very difficult. didn't speak the language. I had no idea what to expect. We were afraid, poor, alone.
And we didn't have the opportunities you have. So I'm happy for you, and will lie. I mean it. Maybe some of us when we come to this country, we had no opportunity. No knowledge, no education, no money. But we made it. But I want to make sure you're granted every opportunity to be successful in this life in here after that. hamdulillah I saw that today. It was so beautiful. I couldn't think alive enough to see my first daughter graduate, an honor roll, walking down the aisle wearing that beautiful rope we had recorded. I did promise you to be there for you. When you were born. And before you were born. Alhamdulillah Allah allow me to fulfill my promise to you.
let's talk. You're a different woman now. And I mean that you're a woman now. You're no longer girl. Remember, the girl used to hold my hand as a football.
The girl that I used to have to put on my chest so I can go to sleep.
I can't believe it to be honest. You're coming to the stage now. It's gonna be difficult for me.
you're graduating now from singlehood through the hood.
So it's time it's time for us to look for Mr. right for you. Extremely important for me, well, law he I don't care.
I don't care how good looking he is. I don't care what he has in the bank. I don't care what any of that stuff. All this worldly material is the bonus is not the real thing.
first, I want to make sure you understand.
Why do you want to get married first? So I'm asking you, honey, why do you want to get married?
usually want to ask the brothers and the sisters. Why do you want to get married? They tell me Is it the right thing to do?
No, my mom told me to do it.
Take one. Yeah. Right. Now, I want to make sure you understand why you want to get married. First reason you want to get married is you want to please Allah Subhan Allah Viola. Why? Because he told us that in the Quran, says what Anka, who I am income was solid when she was married the single amongst you, or Aiden marrying the single amongst you. But in sub there was saw that, hey, it's conditional. Don't just get married for the sake of marriage. You have to do it. First and foremost, the first intention is to please Allah and follow his command in the Quran. But it has to be righteous according to what he said.
And also olanzapine Angela Villa speaks about the relationship
as garments. You know what that means?
When a person doesn't want to leave us alone, that means you're looking for your garment, honey, not just another guy.
A guy that will be like a garment, what does a garment do?
a garment we defies you. And that's exactly what you look for. Someone that will look in the beauty side of you, not fish for fault, not put you down, not destroy you, but build you and be there for you.
And not when you wear something. You also protect yourself. So I'm looking for that man to protect you. You're supposed to protect one another
Not just from the cold of the winter and the heat of the sun, but you're protecting one another lead out on the road, you don't harm or reciprocate harm.
And also, make sure you understand that you show what is good and hide what is not. And since the garment is the closest thing to your skin, I'm going to teach you a few things. First. It's about your intimate relations, a beautiful relations indeed, don't ever shy away from it. It's a beautiful bond between a husband and wife.
And it's also close to your skin. That means it keeps secrets.
That means whatever happens in Vegas
stays in Mississauga for now.
is the sooner Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam.
Because he says a nigga homogeneity family lamium will be so nutty. Felice me know what that means. Not only that, I want to please Allah subhana wa Jalla, viola, protect myself protect another brother.
And also understand that is the Sunnah of Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam.
Because this is this is my sooner marriage is like, my sooner and those who stay away from my sooner is not of me. I'm innocent of that. So that's why I want you to get married. Honey, I know that you will have aspirations, not just your bachelor's. I know you're going for your masters and europeo HD. But remember, I talked about dollar sign that I don't want you to be a career mom. You know what that means? I want you to be successful, the best and excel in your field. But I don't want you to lose your husband and children because of your career. It is a huge difference. You can build high rises, but it takes a lot to build the human being. So keep the eyes on the prize. Again, I'm going
to remind you who you are. You're three times higher than us because I'm a mother and a father. You're half of the oma
as a matter of fact, if Coca Cola used to say
women are half of the oma and they give birth to the other half of the oma that means they are the whole oma
understanding that, my dear daughter, be proud of who you are. Don't ever let anybody tell you otherwise, you're inferior or superior or anything else. Allah raised you. Allah honored you. You're half of our Deen. We had armies fight for your honor, you are our measuring stick, as I will be talking to your future husband to tell you who he is, and tell him who you are. So please understand, not even that I mentioned the garment it's rewarding. Because prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says even that intimate, beautiful relationship is rewarded. According to the Hadith, Buddha arducam sanaka. man asked him, How could a man have this beautiful
relationship with his wife and be rewarded for it? If you do the same act outside of wedlock? Will you not be punished for it? Is that yes, is similarly when you do the same act and now lawful means you will be rewarded for it, Allah. So I'm trying to tell you, what you coming to, and why you should do it. And change the intention from just want to get married because it's the right thing for an act of a bad act of worship, and how do you do that? with changing unia? How do you change either into Nevada with your intention? everything I'm doing it to please Allah Subhana Allah viola, I want to tell you, brothers and sisters, please make sure you follow suit.
Now, what happened? When Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam said is half of the deen? Because if he guarantee me what's between your jaws and what's between your legs meaning your private part? I will guarantee you gentlemen, that's why the scholars say when you get married, it's half of your deen, literally half of your deen. And that's why shaitan is not very happy with you. When you get married, is very happy when you get divorce. So be careful. Don't let shaitan ever win.
Now, also understand, since it's half of the deen, you protect your chastity. The other half is protecting this. And I will tell you about it when you get married in Sharla. How to Protect yourself and the rights and duties. We'll talk about it when time comes along. I don't want us to get married for the sake of what we talked about. I also want you to get married to raise righteous children who amongst us who actually get married to raise the next Salahuddin who's ever had the intention? I want to get married so I can raise the rich company, the righteous company that will take the old man next level. Who amongst us would do that. I want you to be that you're the one that
raised the next. The next Bilaal. The next
By on the next alima the next one that is Harvard then is the doctor the next everyone that will take the oma back in the lead. That's your intention that we insert the koala. If you just took my Allah yes took Allah if you're truthful Allah Allah will be truthful with you.
So some of my teacher says ajisen, Muslim una and in a year, the Muslims can even have the intentions upfront. I already told you that these children, Nestor sadaqa jariya.
You know, your legacy will go on through your children. So please make sure you teach them at least the Fatiha and the core and the beautiful that you remembered. So because every time they recited, you get it, and so will I
insha Allah, understanding the beneficial knowledge, everything you teach your child,
you know that they will be on your right hand side scale. So don't hold back. Your child is an investment, you know, most of our children, we actually talk about them as a retirement plan. Because we want to teach him to be an engineer or a doctor, and all of a sudden, now we can sit back and reap the reward. No, I want to make sure it's the eternal retirement plan, not just in this life in the Hereafter, because that's what I'm after.
But before you make a decision, my daughter, you also need to know who you are. So I'm going to take you down the line before you make that I do. Please do what I've asked you to do.
First of all, I need to know
who you are. I know. But I need you to know that.
There are three types of people.
According to Dr. Tanaka heavy theory.
He says there's a child, an adult and a parent, a child, the one that says Me, me, me, me, me, myself and I.
And I understand that all of us have that. But if you don't reciprocate, if somebody asks you, what do you like, for food is what I like and you know, ask back, you'll know your child. So I need you to know who you are in order for you to choose, right. Because if you don't know who you are, you will not choose right, because of the reason if you are a child, you cannot choose another child, you will fight for the rest of your life. So a child chooses a parent, an adult, choose an adult. And the opposite is true. A parent chooses a child and so on. So you need to know how to find out. So if that person speaks to you, if you speaks about themselves only and as soon as he talks about
you, they're bored, and they turn into back to them as a child.
So how will he know an adult?
He will ask you what's your favorite food, and they will reciprocate my favorite Who is this and what's yours. So you will know now you speak into an adult reciprocates likes to give and likes to receive. A child likes to only receive doesn't want to give.
Now, the other side is a parent, a parent gets joy from giving, not receiving, you know, it's not important what I like what's important is what you like, it is extremely important to choose properly. Otherwise, you put out fires for the rest of your life. So remember, again, if you're a child, you look for a parent and vice versa. If you're an adult, you look for an adult life will be easy, smooth sailing, I will now take you through the four by four theory.
The four by four is I will ask for things for to look for in a husband and four things to look for in a wife. So I'll be talking to your husband to eat a lot. And I will give you four steps before you say I do.
And the four
advice. I always give a couple. You are very special to me. I want to make sure you go through the four by four and don't tell me at 16 I know you're smart and intellectual, but don't pull that up for no faster me. The first four
is when you look for a husband, my dear daughter is there are two in the Quran and two and the sooner. The two in the Quran, Allah Subhana Allah says, Yeah, every step in the hiring minister,
oh my father, hire him because the best of those who you hire
is a strong untrustworthy,
meaning in every aspect of the life according to authority, strong and Eamonn faith religious background, and I mean, I don't want you to look for a brother call I mean,
and then you say I found them that is not the case. I mean, means what is trustworthy to use the power over you because it is not a mean is not trustworthy. You will misuse and abuse the power over you.
And the two in the sooner even though it's available on the scholars
but it has
As showerhead and as a witness in the Quran, remember what I told you the relationship between a brother and a flock the acts of worship and the character see exactly what is mentioned in the Hadith in jackal mentor Dona Hola Hola. Dino De Novo. Thank you who lm valuta confident an officer of another movie. If a person comes knock on the door, not throw their your hair down rebounds all go behind your back because he will not be I mean, so if somebody's coming to knock on your door or wants to see you at night University without me knowing about it. He is not I mean, scratch him off. And don't be an easy bait. Don't be another prey Don't be another number you come crying, or worse
yet, something else may Allah protect you from that.
And he says the character and the religious background because the fruit of their religious background is this character. So understand why they come together in the Quran, and why they come together and the sooner that's your for minimum. Of course, there's compatibility clause when every aspect whether it's intellectual, academic, social, financial, physical, and everything compatibility when it comes to your whole life to be.
So, my dear daughter, you now know what to look for. That was one of my favorites, because that's what your mom told your dad, do. You see your grandfather? About me? She told him Yeah, but is that in the higher standard Alcoa? I mean, so I'm asking you the same thing as your mother told her father, you I want you to tell me when that right man comes along.
So I'm going to talk to your future husband what to look for, and I'm talking to you indirectly now. When Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam said that a man with a woman for four reasons, a system Kalma or the Alba family her family how NASA with Dini have a forbidden 1830 bachelor is a woman should be wed for four reasons, her beauty.
So always be beautiful for your husband, not the other way around. I don't want you to wear your bunny slippers and your pajamas and you have your hairdo. Like Auntie Jemima on margin, whatever zooms in and you have nothing on your face for your husband, for man May Allah help him ally and I know you're not going to do that. But when you go outside, you look the best on the outside. What happened? Now we're not going to do that inshallah. We're going to be exactly that.
So this is Layla minkee illa. jahmene says everything he sees is beautiful. He hears beautiful smells, everything is beautiful. So be to Him beautiful inside out. In manly, like Khadija rajala Anna used to help in every aspect is double the reward of sadaqa. You're not asked to do so voluntarily. If you do help your husband, you will get double the reward of sadaqa couldn't
necessarily understand the lineage how you were brought up. You are address, you reflect how you were brought up. So I know you're not going to let us down and you'll make us proud as you always have been.
What Dini, that's what I'm going to concentrate on any we live and die by what is halal or haram
we lived accordingly. So, let's end accordingly. You know, why? Because this is 30 butcher that
your hand will touch us. That means if the woman does not have the religious background, you will lose everything. But if a woman with does have the religious background that means you will be prosperous and win everything.
Now, the four steps before you say I do
that this is extremely important to me, I
know for sure
that these are your safety net.
There is the Shara is the harder asmin to work with.
You need to consult about everything about this person.
And that person is going to be your partner in life and in the Hereafter. So you need to ask about him. When it comes to school when it comes to work. Did he travel with someone? Did he deal with money? What was he like in the neighborhood the reputation of not just him and his family for everybody gives you a thumbs up you move on to number two, if not then cut your losses even know you like this guy, but he's not your guy. Number two is is to harder because we don't know what's hidden and we don't know what's in the future.
Only Allah Subhana Allah, Allah knows what's best for us.
So you're going to praise the hoarder, and it's their art by the way, you don't have to pray you can pray.
But when you do, you ask Allah after the righteous deed
you ask him
Allah if this person is good for me in this life in the hereafter for my Deen
make him mind. If not keep him away from me.
The da is there. I know you memorize it because Prophet Mohammed Salah Salam used to teach the companions may Allah be pleased with him like he used to teach him the Quran, it's online, you can download it, it's a free app and as the Muslim porters almost then you get it there. But don't ever move on unless you get the green light. What happens after you do is the harder things are gonna get better or worse, easier or more difficult.
And you don't have to wait for seven days. And you don't have to open the Quran and blindly Put your hand on the finger of something is so your deen article, so I'm not gonna marry this guy. Because in Morocco angels I'm gonna marry this guy. Quran was not recited for this, know that it has to be something in your dream, it doesn't work because subconsciously, you store information three to four days in your dream, we don't count on it. And we don't discount it, but we don't depend on it. But indeed, is not somebody else that will make it you have to make it and you can do in plural, because it's me only nobody else will make it and only ask for one. And remember that extremely important
Because it's going to be in the future. After is the harder once you get the green light or the red light. We're going to go into Isom, I'm determined to follow the
sign of Allah subhana wa Jalla Viola
and once you do that, you will never regret it, even though against your whims and desires, even though you wanted this person. But Allah says he's not yours, you have to submit. Because that's what the fourth is to what
they were calling, meaning that I rely on Allah, I never regretted. He doesn't fit our calendar Allah in your make a decision. You put your trust in Allah, Allah Subhana Allah, Allah will never let you down. So don't ever look back and don't ever look back. So Allah will never let you down. My dear daughter, I wish you the best. You have now what it takes. So let's move on to the next step. And that's what I'm gonna leave you today. You're ready now. I ask Allah Subhana Allah Viola to give you the ability to choose the husband that will be the husband and the father of your children. That is the one knight in shining armor. We're not going to start with the Bollywood theory, which I will
start with next time. inshallah I asked the last panel Julia to grant you the best of the best. I mean, Wafula 100 like Ramadan, I mean or salamati. I do sapio terrain is like Milan Hydra was Santa Monica.