A Practical Program For Parents to Enable Productive Summer for Children- Day 7

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Ahmed Hamed

Channel: Ahmed Hamed

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Episode Notes

Day 7 – How to do Skills Development Of Children

Episode Transcript

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Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala rasulillah Karim while early he was happy he is married. I will let him in a shaytani r rajim Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem robina. habla Naaman, as Virgina was the Ria Tina kurata, Yun wotja Tina mama rubbish, really sorry, we are silly emri aka data melissani? Yes, who totally do your brothers and sisters, welcome again to our seventh session, which is the last session of our program on how to make our children's summer most productive. When hamdulillah we have actually reached to the, you know, culmination point and we have covered so far Subhana Allah in the day one productivity in an

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Islamic perspective, we talked about the program showing the importance of the program, talking about the approach that we have actually taken in order to empower ourselves in this, you know, area of expertise. In day two, we talked about the 10 golden rules of parenting with the introduction of key areas that we have defined those five key areas. In day three, we talked about the productivity or in terms of spirituality, which is the priority for us as parents for the development of our children, inshallah, day four, we focused on morals and manners development and how important o'clock and character building is, for us as parents for the development of our children. day five,

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we covered social development and that is the key to how our children can connect themselves and move in the society as the influencing people, they should not be the ones who should be influenced with the wrong things rather, they should actually influence with their goodness in sha Allah in the society. So they should be the agent of, you know, change for good, or goodness in sha Allah. day six, we have covered the physical development talking that Islam talks about holistic development, not just spiritual, and leaving the morals or social, rather spiritual, moral manners, social as well as physical development, and we talked about how important it is for us to take care of our own

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health and our children's health, and so that they may become, you know, a strong believers and strong worshipers of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So, this is what we have Alhamdulillah covered so far, with the help of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Today, in our last session, we should talk about another important area of development, and that is skills development. So, you know, this is, again, a very key and, you know, area that we as parents have to focus in terms of making sure that our children's, you know, they they enhance their skill. So, what is the skill, a skill is the ability to carry out a task with determined results, you know, often with a given amount of time, energy or

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both. So, it's actually the ability to do something well, or with expertise, and skills, development, you know, it covers basically activities, such as improving self awareness, improving self knowledge, building or renewing self esteem, developing strengths, or talents. So this is what you know, the skills, you know, that we can actually talk about. Now, again, as you all are down, you know, by now familiar with our approach, three E's through five W's and one edge and three E's, let's talk about the educate, the second being, you know, evaluate and third being empowered. So let's begin with educate now. Now, what is the skills development in general, that we want to focus

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in our children so the,

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the base or the foundation for us to develop our children's skill set is it begins with the identification of the skills that your child has Alhamdulillah our children are gifted with certain skills and and they have certain expertise. we as parents need to identify those skill sets. What is you know, great about our child, is he a good speaker is a good thinker. He's a good writer. He

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is a, you know, a problem solver, his memory is good, or he's very good reader, you know, he observes very carefully, he is a very nice presenter, he is very excellent in writing, what is that skill that we could find in our children, that is what we need to first identify the number of skills that our child has. And this is really important for us to educate, you know, the skills because, you know, what differentiates from one kid to other is, is this is there skills, you know, perhaps all children are gifted with skills, but sometimes what happens if parents, they don't focus on your children, if the parents, as parents, we don't focus on our children's skills that they

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have, then what happens is later, you know, sooner or later it dies. So, what we need to do is number one, we need to actually identify the skills in in their lives, and let them be aware of it, let them know that they have the skill set, let them understand that they have the skills, so that that self awareness that we talked about, it will be obvious for them and they will start focusing on observing on it, when is it required. So, you see the skills are basically plenty of them. So, we need to actually see when that skill is required, sometimes, you know, the skills which are commonly seen and observed is thinking skills, speaking skills, you know, problem solving skills, listening

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skills, you know, memory skills, and so on. So, we need to see when those skills are required, and provide them the regular platform for them to practice those skills. And one very important thing, which I would like to share with all of you is that we need to know that we cannot curb their skills, rather, we need to channelize their skills, we need to direct their skills, you know, and that is really, really important because a person might have, you know, biggest skill set, but if he's using in the wrong thing, then he will bring nothing but anger of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And we do not want that for our children, isn't it. So we need to ensure that we are out and we direct

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we channelize their skills in the right direction, because, you know, for example, with a good voice, a person can become a singer, and own the anger of Allah Subhana huhtala. Or he could use the same skill of you know, his voice, and become Akari. And he will be big, and he'll be you know, beloved, and he will be beloved to Allah subhanaw taala and will be among the best of the people as Prophet sallallahu alayhi Salaam said, the one who learns and teaches the Quran is the best, right? So we need to know that first we identify the skills in our children, we need to know it is really important that makes them you know, competitive, that makes them you know a better than others that

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makes them more talented than others because the efficiency or the ability, or the mastery or the competence that our children should have, should, should have is a kind of a key differentiator between others. So this is really important for us. Now, who should develop it obviously, as parents, once again, it's our job, it's our duty to develop that skills in them. So they have natural abilities. As I said, first we need to recognize those make him aware that he has the skills, acknowledge and encourage the skills that he has enabled them to focus on their potential and provide them regular platform so that you know, with this supportive environment, they can

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actually demonstrate their skills. So this is

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you know, how we can actually do it. So how to develop the skill sets, list down the skills that we talked about, for example, thinking skills.

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Let's use this summer for them to

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you know, boost their skills in defined areas. For example, as I mentioned, thinking skills

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speaking skills, problem solving skills, listening skills, memory skills, reading skills, observational skills, presentation skills, writing skills, you know, planning skills, you know, dialogue skills, or research skills, study skills, organizing skills, these are all the list of skills that we could actually see in our child. And what whatever that we see, we have to first recognize it, appreciate and acknowledge it, make it obvious to him and provide him supportive environment again and again. So that he may actually practice the skills that he has, because he needs to realize that these skills are gifts from Allah subhana wa Tada. This is very important for

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us as parents, you know, for us to actually learn and teach it to our children, that whenever any skill is given to us, it is the name of some Allah, it's a blessing from Allah subhanho wa Taala. So we do not boast or we don't, you know, be proud or boastful about what we have because it is indeed from Allah subhanho wa Taala. So, that is the reason as believers we say, Hola, La quwata illa Billah there is no power except the power of Allah subhanho wa Taala except the word of Allah subhanaw taala except the strength of Allah subhanaw taala So, it is from the from the teaching methodology that we need to understand that we teach our children look my son, Abdullah, Allah has

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given you a powerful mind Subhana Allah, you are so good in in remembering things, you know, in recollecting things and I can testify that you know from my own personal life, my own child, for example, if I take him to any, you know, area and I fly take him after six months, he would recognize a movie came to this area before isn't it? And I have to acknowledge Yes, yes, my son, we did come here in the past. So, they have amazing power of memory, you know, and so, we tell them look, this is from Allah subhanaw taala. So, number one, you should tank Allah subhanho wa Taala for the skill that you have blessed with number two, you should

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you know, make sure that you recognize that skill number three, you need to work on that skill, so that you can be more you know, x you can become more expert in what you have. So, how to develop it, you you you put all these skills, and you you give him or her games or you know skids or plan something in and around areas where they can actually develop their thinking skills or listening skills or speaking skills, organize a platform for them to actually demonstrate that presentation skills. So, this is how we basically can, you know, have that and one important methodology is to keep them responsible. See, response, taking responsibility is also a skill, it's a leadership

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skills, that should develop in our children's life. So, for example, in the summer holidays, let them you know, bring for example, you know, fish tank for example, right. So, when you when they bring fish tank in the home,

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keep them responsible that you have to ensure that you feed him once a day for example, right, or you bring anything with you, which is comfortable or which is you know, easier or convenient for you. So, the whole point is make them responsible. So, what will happen is, they will plan so they they learn planning skills, they will organize things, so, they will learn organizing, organizing skills, they will learn, you know, punctuality, they will learn regularity, they will learn, you know, that bondage or that belongingness that they have for certain things. So, this is how we actually also can, you know, develop their skill sets. So, this is pretty much what you can actually

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as parents, you know, show showcase their skills in that pattern. Let's move on to the second E which is, you know, evaluate, evaluate their skills. What is skills evaluation, you know, for example, if you want to evaluate their listening skills, so, let them put, put them into a test and for five minutes, let's see, if they don't tell them they should not speak anything, but they should listen very carefully, and they should give the summary first.

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Example, put the lecture of, you know, any speaker or any scholar on on TV or on on laptop or on mobile, and let them watch it for five minutes or 10 minutes, and then switch off that program, and let them give you the summary the essence or their general understanding of what they have,

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you know, summarized this lecture of 10 minutes in couple of minutes, that will show their, you know,

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evaluation of how perfectly or how keenly they are listening, right, this is a really important the evaluation methodology is really important, because this will tell you, what stage your child is on what level that he stands out, right, when is it required evaluation is required or, you know, on and off, periodically, you know, regularly it is required, because the more you evaluate, the more it becomes better. And again, it comes back to us who should evaluate, it's we as parents have to evaluate we know them, well, really devil and we will evaluate them well, when we need to evaluate we need to evaluate in certain areas, as I mentioned, you know, you define the areas which we will,

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you know, as I shared already with you thinking skills, speaking skills, problem solving skills, listening skills, memory skills, reading skills, observational skills, presentation skills, writing skills, planning skills, you know, all these skills, when you write it down, you will, you know, analyze, these are the areas that I need to evaluate my child inshallah, this summer, and I must make sure that he should pick up and improve upon in at least certain skills. And as I said, how to evaluate all our evaluation methodology is the same for all areas of development. And that is, number one, ask questions, ask questions, the more you ask questions, the more you get answers, the

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more you get answers, the more it helps you to evaluate them better to make them, you know, better in terms of their scope of improvement, and their energy and their enthusiasm. All things can be routed, well. If you ask questions you will get to know when you get to know you will be able to direct them in a proper direction. Right? That's number one. Number two, observe and make an analysis, for example, observe, is he speaking really well, you know, sometimes when we don't realize that our child has amazing, you know, skill of presenting things. So if you give him a topic, and then he presented wonderfully, he speaks really sweet and he speaks what you know, really

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well. So in an articulate manner, right. So when you observe their skills, shine it, let them know, you spoke very well, my son Abdullah, or my daughter, Amina, you did a wonderful job Subhana, Allah barakallahu Li, now make sure that you have the skill you improve you work on it, so that they can actually do it. So that's again, another way of evaluating experimenting experiment, by putting them into a test into a competition into any challenge or something or the other, and check their levels again and again. So that you know the before and after effect, give them ownership of things, you know, when you For example, want to organize, you know, kids party, let them lead that party. So,

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you will see and observe in them, the organizational skills, that they have the planning skills, let them plan all the things, what the children should have, what should they you know, eat, what should they drink, where they should sit, where they should play, all sorts of things. So, when they get the ownership, the evaluation comes out very, very, very well. So this is again another beautiful way of evaluating them. That's number two, he that's evaluate right, number three is empowered, what is skills empowerment? Now, skills, empowerment is something which which we see in our child that out shines and and becomes manifest. For example, one fine day he comes out and he falls you know, a

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very, very critical puzzle for example, so he has the ability of problem solving. So you tell or you know, for example, you share with your child

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and look up the law or your daughter for that matter, Amina. I have this problem. This is the problem. This is the situation. Can you please

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suggest me, how can I solve this problem. So they then start thinking, so that triggers their thinking skills. Now the person is thinking right now your child is thinking, he or she wants to come up with a solution for the problem that you have. So when you throw a problem, they find out or they start finding out the solution. So this is another way how you can actually see a manifest skills, empowerment, it is really important skills. empowerment is really important for our children, because they are an Amana for us. And we need to empower them in all the areas, whether it is spiritual, social, manners, morals, physical, or skills for that matter. So it's really important

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and it's required in an early age as well, because the more they equipped, you know, the early they equipped with the skills, the better the chances that they can become more expert on those skills. So it's, it's, it's, it's better to have these skills possessed as early as possible. Now, who should empower it, again, it comes back to us, we as parents must take that first priority in our lives to empower our the skills of our children. And teachers also can make a role in empowering the skills of our children or siblings can also make

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a role of empowering the skills of their, of your children. So there are different parties that can, you know, play a role in terms of empowering your children skills development,

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where we need empowerment, as we said, list, list down those areas of skillsets, and ensure that each area is properly educated, it's properly evaluated. And then we can find out the need of empowerment of that particular skill set. Finally, how to empower it. Again, we have the five DS, you know, policy to empower our children's development, be it spiritual, be it physical, be it morals or manners, be it social, be it physical, no be IT skills for that matter. So the first D is our ask Allah to give your children the ability to speak well, for example, to listen well, to think well, to read well, to write well to observe all to present well, to, to remember well, so when you

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have this draft for your child, it really, really helps and teach your child there are which is related with knowledge with learning, learning new things, learning skills, right? And this is really, really important. Let them you know, memorize this one, which is the, you know, very shortly, Robbie z, Dini, Alma,

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I'm sure perhaps most of you know about it, most of your children know about, but let them get the sense and the potential of this tool, which you are besieging. And you're seeking the help of Allah, to give you to grant you the ability of knowledge, of learning, of understanding this is really, really important. So when your child knows that he has to ask Allah for the skills that he has to empower it, or for the skills that he wants to acquire it, or for the skills that he wants to continually improve upon, it becomes much more, you know, effective, and they themselves also make dua to Allah subhanaw taala. And when you as parents make dua for your child. So this is the first

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step. The second step is devise a plan. As I said, list down the things are the areas of the skills that you think your child has, perhaps he's a very good footballer, or perhaps he's a very, very good swimmer, or he is having a brilliant thinking skills, or he is an amazing speaker, or he has a critical analysis, ability of problem solving. He is amazing in terms of his memory, put down, write down you know, your child will write down those skills that you think that your child is blessed with. When you write it down. You can actually devise a plan to empower your child in those pockets are those areas of expertise that your child can improve upon, so that the devise a plan step two.

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Number three, develop a strategy when you develop a strategy

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Do you actually create platforms and possibilities and opportunities for your child to actually practice those plans, right, if you planning you, there is no chance of practicing that plan, then obviously, that plan is of no use planning without action is is is void is having no sense, right. So make sure that you provide opportunities and possibilities for your child to implement that plan, as a part of strategy that we have.

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You know, and I gave you a few tips and examples as well, that you you organize, you know, a session and give the ownership to your child, for the kids area, you should take care of it, you should take care of their every affair that they have, you know, and organize a competition, for example, let them all perform and see how best they go, appreciate everyone appreciate every cut the good and the bad, and then evaluate them and make them to and push them to a higher level. So that's developed a strategy. So it could go purely case to case basis. But yes, the you know, the point is, is is general and universal, and you fit yourself how you can do it well, case to case basis in Sharla,

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the fourth D, the fourth step of D is demonstrate for them as an example. For example, as I mentioned, you watch, sit with them, you watch 10 minutes of clipping for any chef or any, you know, speaker, and let them also watch with you. And after watching for 10 minutes, shut down and give him the summary of what you could actually grasp or give the sense of what you understood from that 10 minutes of lecture, when they see you doing this, they will have the encouragement to do the same, they will have the you know,

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you know, quest to do or to copy the same. So you demonstrate for them. And that's a beautiful and the closest and the powerful example for them to actually do it. Similarly, you can actually do a speaking presentation, problem solving, you know, listening, thinking or any skills that we talked about. So when you demonstrate for them as an example for them to follow, it becomes more relevant and this will, this is how we can actually empower our children's skills development, finally, drive them with motivational words, rewards and appreciations. You know, this is again, I would repeat, this is really, really important. Our children, the Omaha's Prophet, sallAllahu, Alayhi, wa sallam,

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they need motivation.

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You know, because somehow their lives are clouded with negativity, whether it's through media or environment or whatever. So you give them motivational words, nice words, positive words, positive, you know, phrases, use it for them, tell them I love you for the sake of Allah, tell them I know you can do better tell them that you have an amazing skills gap gifted by Allah Subhana Allah give them rewards and awards, you know, it's, it's, it's a significant way of boosting their energy level and, and their, you know, tempo for certain things. So give them rewards, avoid them. And when you do that, they you will see the transformation. It is very, very powerful. appreciate them in front of

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others, tell them that hamdulillah Allah has blessed me with a beautiful kid, you know, beautiful daughter, beautiful son, who is amazing in these skills. So when you appreciate them, this again plays a significant role for them to actually, you know, improve upon empower themselves. And that's how we can meet our objective of making their skills developed and empowered in sha Allah. Allah, my brothers and sisters, I must say, Zach Lowe hiren will accidentally Jamia Allah subhanho wa Taala reward all of you for being so patient and listening to our program, and, you know, going through this journey, which is, I'm sure it brings some or the other way benefit to myself to all of you in

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your lives in our lives. And it definitely ignites our attention towards our children, who is the own mouth Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So when you have

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Have your children, make sure that you live with the sense that there is an omen of Prophet sallallahu alayhi Salaam that is living under you. So you as supervisors, leaders, mentors, parents, guardians, you know, their governors, guide them, govern them, direct them, take them and lead them in the ways that are most pleasing to Allah subhanho wa Taala. And as we discussed, five areas that you can define very clearly, very openly, and write down and you have a summary in your hand, make sure that we use our children's time before they lose their time. Because once it passes by, never it's gonna come back. And then and that's the reason we say repair yourself before you regret. So

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you repent before you regret so we prepare ourselves before we lose anything. And and that's the, you know, proactive way of a believer that is taught in Islam, we asked Allah subhanho wa Taala to help us benefit from what all we have learned in terms of spiritual development and social development, morals and manners, development, you know, physical development, and finally, skills development. But I must tell you, make sure that spirituality should be the number one priority for us in terms of developing our children, that should be you know, the the topmost priority and obviously, we should not leave any area for that matter in terms of the development of our children.

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We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to make our spouses, our children, you know, the coolness of our eyes, and make them the leaders of the pain of the conscious people. Let us gain this momentum. Let us relate this momentum in our children's life and let them be torchbearers, leaders and shining agents of goodness in sha Allah, Allah He to Allah with the help and permission of Allah Subhana Allah wa Salam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh