Mufti Menk – When Someone Passes Away
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Then if a person passes away, we all
say Inna Lillahi w Innna Lillahi rajoon. But
to follow that janaza,
to show an interest in it, to go
and express condolences, sympathy, say a little du'a
for them,
to make them feel good. Just like when
a person is sick and
ill. If you were to say, may Allah
bless you, may Allah grant you goodness, may
Allah cure you. These are good words.
They enhance the person's feelings.
You don't go there and say, hey, you're
not looking well, man.
How long have the doctors given you?
2 days. Hey, I think you might just
go in a day.
When someone passes away, you don't say your
son was on drugs. Hey, I wonder what's
going to happen now. Because you see, in
the in the in the grave, there's a
big punishment happening, you know.
When someone passes away, you don't talk like
that. You give the people hope. You say,
Insha'Allah, may Allah give them Jannah to Firdaus.
No matter who they were, may Allah grant
them Jannah.
SubhanAllah,
when someone is alive, you can speak about
the hellfire. You can speak about the warnings
and so on. Not when they're about to
die. When they're about to die. I spoke
about it the other day. You can you
can hear it, inshaAllah. But you don't say
that. But generally, if I were to talk
to you now and remind you, look, we
need to do good because there is heaven,
there is * and so on, it's good
to talk. It's good to remind each other
about what's happening. And it's good to remind
each other the goodness so we can work
towards it and the bad so that we
can protect ourselves from it. But
when someone's passed away, go there
minimum time again. Don't just sit there and
expect food. I know in some cultures across
the world, not just in this part of
the world, but a lot of places, it's
very expensive to die
because when someone dies, they put up a
tent in the house.
They have food that they prepare for how
long they, you know, intercontinental comes and do
catering, such
that people are looking. Hey, tell us. There's
a WhatsApp group of deaths, so we need
to know where people have died so we
can go and eat.
I hope that doesn't happen here,
but I promise you it is happening in
some communities.
We've converted it into a punishment.
Someone passes away. It's so tough on the
family members. Someone is sick and ill. When
you go, make it clear that you don't
want tea or anything. You settle for water,
if anything.
You are going. What are you here for?
You know, I have this problem at my
home where the little office that I have,
people come sometimes with their problems and issues.
So when people come, we are polite, you
know, and I I talk. It's like a
doctor's surgery, for example.
They'll come with their issues. My mother always
comes and says, ask them, will they have
tea or coffee or whatever. And I'm like,
they didn't come for tea or coffee.
They didn't come for tea or coffee. Leave
them. And because my mother is, you know,
still of that generation whereby she feels, no,
these are your guests. You've got to honor
them. You have to give them. And I'm
thinking if that's the case, I'm going to
be 1 of the biggest buyers of coffee
and tea.
And there's gonna be a tent here. People
will come in even if they don't have
a problem. Let's gonna have some
tea because that's how the world's become.
So when you go to someone for a
purpose, make sure you make it clear.
I'm not having anything to eat or drink.
I've just come here for 2 minutes, 5
minutes and then leave after that.
The worst guest is he who doesn't know
when to go.
That's the worst. Ask
Ask the women. They'll tell you because they've
got children. Sometimes they need to get up
the following morning. The kids sometimes sleeping, not
sleeping. And you're busy sitting there enjoying yourself,
talking, watching TV, watching a boxing match, watching
a football match. That's not
the quality of a Muslim.
Consideration
is a word we need to start enacting.
Consider. Be considerate.
May
Allah help us. So when a person passes
away to follow the janazah, for the men
to actually go to the graveyard and to
bury the person, great reward because it reminds
you of who exactly you are, where you
came from, and where you're going. Primarily, that's
the reason.