Channel: Yasir Qadhi
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A cinematic delay, but I can't tell and welcome to our first open q&a session with Chef de Esser called Lee cured he's playing to Islamic Center spearheaded by our youth leaders inshallah Allah, my name is Murat I work for those of you that don't know me, and I've been the youth director here at East Plano Islamic Center for the past 11 months and hundred number Bleiler me and it's been an honor to interact with some of the greatest and most talented youth that I've ever met in my life here in East Plano Islamic Center. My job here is not only to be a liaison for the youth amongst the leaders of Plano Islamic Center, but also to support and to advocate for all of the causes of the
youth amongst the epic leadership. So I've been blessed to be working on a lot of programs and projects and initiatives over the past month, specially during COVID, from food pantries to helping our neighbors to clean up streets Alhamdulillah, we've been very active and busy. And that's where you come in. I'm requesting all of the youth that are tuning in with us and all of the youth leaders specially to reach an extend their hands out to ease playing to Islamic Center, as we are ready and prepared to launch and spearhead and take initiative in any program inshallah, that can help the oma and that can help our local Muslim communities. Today, it's my pleasure to introduce yet another
program that is spearheaded by our youth
in collaboration with East Plano Islamic Center, and its board 100 a lot of blind I mean, our first open Q and A session the session promises to raise many questions and some lively conversations that are on the minds of a lot of our youth today, and a lot of people all around inshallah, just know, while you are
asking questions today, the whole world is watching you. And everyone is benefiting from the knowledge and from the questions that you have prepared to share with our scholarship ship. He also called he does not allow him for tuning in. But first before we go to the q&a, I want to hear I want all of us to hear a word from our president here at he's playing Islamic Center. Brother, I'm Ron choudry.
He is not going by fair, my brothers and my brother, Rob.
This is such an exciting moment for me as I welcome you to our first open q&a with Yasser
at the Eastman Islamic Center. We have all heard this before that our youth of the future of our community and there is nothing that gives us more pleasure. When we see our youth leading the efforts such as this and initiatives in our Masjid and hundred law epic has been blessed. Remarkably, with remarkably talented and confident youth groups that have invested their valuable time and energy into our Masjid and into our communities. We have witnessed the enthusiasm of our youth in these past few months as they have stood side by side with their elders and participated in many programs in the drive thru food, pantry, doorstep, food distribution and cleaning. Our
neighborhoods along with these many, many volunteer opportunities have been given to our youth and they have taken those opportunities by by the arm as you would have stepped up. And and they have gone to many other communities and they have assisted their neighborhoods in any way possible in all of the possible they are really embodying the true spirit a true factor of a Muslim. But even more remarkable is when the apple youth leaves the epic community to go to different universities as you are and workplaces and they carry the spirit of this community and the spirit of the community service with them into the communities. That is what and that is when we feel even more proud of
your work and what you do here and outside. Alhamdulillah today will be a contract conversing with some of these epic youth leaders who have now stepped up into different universities and they're doing a lot of leadership roles in their own universities and are paving the way for others to service and support today insha Allah the open the open q&a that we have a chef er set is the first of many series that will that will be launched on epics YouTube channel.
We have with us MSA leaders from seven universities. I'm Adam Cole, who will be conversing with Yasser in addressing some of the most common questions that our youth may wish to see addressed. We hope that this program is the first of many others to follow suit inshallah and again, no inshallah just no barriers ask any questions that you might have on top of your mind and she is here to address any questions Zakouma her inshallah Thank you so much.
Does echo said I'm Ron, for the intro and shallow we're looking forward to this open q&a mill stuff is sitting there waiting right in front of me by the coffee. inshallah. Look, Mostafa, say, you guys for those of you who don't know him, he's the umt president of MSA and previously the peche MSA right playing oasis.
MSA Mashallah. And just Allah here, these blessed individuals we need to give a platform to and this is exactly what we're doing here today with Mustafa Salaam Alaikum Salaam.
salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato zacco hairstyle rod for the wonderful introduction.
As the moderator of today's program, I'd first like to thank Dr. Schaefer, quality for taking the time to answer all of our questions. And as mentioned by Assad, my name is most of aside, and I'm one of the members of epics youth core team, and I'm also an undergrad student at the University of North Texas, and I serve as the UN t MSA president. So joining me today are the leaders of Muslim Student Associations or MSA is from different universities and one high school. So the questions will be divided into six categories and they will be asked they will and they will be asked accordingly. So without further ado, let's begin with quick introduction starting with plain use SR
Santa Monica Monica de la My name is Lisa and I'm the president of the Plano Senior High School MSA
soco My name is this year and I am the historian of cleaning East MSA.
So next we have Collin College.
Now I'm gonna go to my name is Maha firoz. And I am the president of MSA for Collin College.
And next we have Rice University
salehoo everyone, my name is Dana mom and I'm the president of Rice University in the state down here in Houston.
Next we have Southern Methodist University or SMU.
Welcome everyone. My name is Amar and I'm the Vice President.
And next we have the University of Illinois Urbana Champaign.
I come everyone my name is a sugar four and I'm the Vice President of uacs MSA
Oh, I come everyone. My name is soufiane. And I'm the knowledge head of the UI UC MSA.
And next we have UT Arlington
solid from the president of UTA.
And last but not least, we have my University, the University of North Texas
planko everyone my name is Sofia Hall. I'm the Vice President of u and T for MFA.
Alright, so does that glare for all of the introductions? So let's begin the q&a with Dr. shale. Yes, quality. So these are the questions that are going to be asked or questions that have been submitted from students from all the institutions that we just that that are joining us today. So the first category is civic engagement. And I'm going to invite brother zany mom from Rice University to kick us off.
All right, thank you. So Dr. Shaikh yasir Qadhi. The first question is how can young Muslim Americans get involved in politics without sacrificing parts of their Deen especially on issues like abortion and LGBTQ plus inclusion? And when considering Muslims tend to vote Democrat?
Some of that have to do that was set out to a sentiment a pseudo level Allah Allah He will be here one more the hummingbird. Firstly, I'm very, very honored and happy to see such cooperation from so many MSA is in Texas and even beyond Texas. This is a great initiative. And I hope that a shout out to Allah we can continue this initiative. Secondly, I'd like to point out that we have a lot of questions from what I understand. And we have my shoulder so many msps. So I'm going to have to be I know I'm saying this, I'm going to try to live up to this. And I rarely am able to I'm going to have to be succinct and to the point. I'm not going to be have time to elaborate in too much depth for
many of these questions. I have answered them in more detailed lectures online either via the q&a I've done here or other lectures. So with that caveat, I'd like to state that my position about political engagement is slightly
Typical, of course, we should be politically engaged. Of course, it is a part and parcel of us being Muslim Americans. However, it is my position and my contention that American Muslims need to understand that there's only so much that can be accomplished via politics, we need to understand that we can maximize our presence, we can amplify our message far more via social platforms via what we do, and our engagements with broader society and our giving back to the community. There's only so much we can do. I'm not saying we shouldn't do anything. But I'm saying that all too often, we have extremes when it comes to political engagement. We have those who go to one side and say is
haram and don't do anything at school. And that's wrong. It's just wrong. islamically but we have the other side that thinks that the end all and be all the thinks that everything is going to be decided via political engagement. And my point is that the Prophet seer also the law, why do you send them an even the lived history shows us that is not the case. The most, the single most influential American Muslim in American history was a boxing legend Muhammad Ali, what he did for American Islam, what he did for there is of this religion, what he did to mainstream our religion, is something that you don't require politics to do. So my position is that each and every one of us
should foremost prioritize our giving back to the community via the programs that we engage in via feeding the poor via getting involved in a social issue that is going to maximize our very small presence. Ask for your question. To put it very simply, there is no easy answer. Each and every one of us is going to have to monitor Most importantly, our own conscience because we will have to stand in front of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Anybody who gets involved in the political political process, the more they get involved, the more compromises they're going to have to do, as long as those compromises are done for a greater good. And as long as no red line is crossed, where that person
does not commit an act that will be considered a Cofer or a major sin. There's got to be a level of it's going to happen and I'm not going to give the green light. It's a yellow light here. So make sure you have strong knowledge of Islam. Make sure you're in touch with your scholars and local leaders. Make sure you yourself are monitoring in front of a lot that you have to answer. And then bit by bit pray is too hard to get advice from those and take every decision as it comes to you. Allah Allah azza wa jal make it easy.
All right, um, so the next question, I'm gonna call Mahaffey rose from calling college to ask.
My question is, what are the rulings? In regards to voting? I've heard that is permissible, and that it's not permissible. So I'm not sure, sure. So this is a notion that really needs to be put to rest. When I was growing up back in the 80s, it started to get in Vogue, that there were certain movements that were importing certain understandings of Islam from their own cultural paradigms. And it is very convenient for certain regimes to preach to their masses that they should be apolitical. And as these people came from these countries to America, they genuinely believe that Islam wanted them to be apolitical. they genuinely believe that it was against the teachings of Islam, to speak
against the ruler to become involved. And these notions became convoluted with theology. And some began to say that if you vote it is a type of endorsement for the entire system. And the reality is that this is a very, very miniscule interpretation held by a handful of scholars who some of them are worthy of respect, but frankly, they are simply disconnected from reality. It is simply not true that when you endorse a candidate, you automatically endorse everything about the candidate. This is something that anybody who participates in the democratic process understands you choose the candidate that best fits your priorities. It is not a carte blanche endorsement of everything that
the candidate stands for, as well. The notion that if I vote, it automatically implies that I believe in a deity that is worthy of legislating other than Allah subhana wa Tada. This is such a tenuous argument. It requires such a convoluted understanding the average human being Muslim, Christian, Jew, atheist, agnostic, does not consider the voting process to be a type of manifestation of the Ruby or let's just say I'm ascribing the powers of legislation to the people that is simply not true. Everybody understands that ethics and laws are not the same. You can be a God fearing Christian in this country and realize that let's say the laws of abortion are unethical.
The fact that you're a Christian who votes doesn't mean that you endorse the the laws of abortion, nobody thinks that way. So for this small group of scholars to come and then start preaching, that voting automatically implies a you're endorsing everything about the candidate which is wrong and be you are tacitly supporting the entire infrastructure.
Nobody actually believes this until they are told it. And therefore, the notion that it is held on to vote, it is simply untenured as it is on shaky ground, it is not based on sound theological or even common sense reasoning. And frankly, that type of talk simply should be should not be a part of intellectual discourse anymore. That having been said, I go back to my previous question. I do not say voting is how long, but there's no question in my mind that we can do things far more important than choose our political candidates to give back to the community that we live in and Allah knows best.
All right, does that clear, clear shift for that answer? Um, now I want to pass it on to soufiane. Big for another question.
The question I had is, are we allowed to live in a non Muslim country, especially one that does not follow Muslim laws, but another religions laws? Once again, we go back, you see, dear brothers and sisters, again, have to go into some detail here. The majority of American Muslims are children of immigrants, right? All of you that I can see are basically children of immigrants at home that we have a good, you know, around 30% African Americans who are basically here for much longer than myself and many of us here, we need to understand the Islam that we were taught, was influenced by the culture of the people that came from the lands that they came from, whether it was Egypt,
whether it was India, whether it was Buxton, the type of Islam, that was culturally influenced. So back in the 60s and 70s, those people that came here, their local mother, clergy, were like stuff for the law, you're going to America that is the Donald Cooper, and how can you go there, and this and that, so they began thinking that they're not allowed to be here. But you see, when you look at the text, when you look at the Quran, and Sunnah, you don't see these types of cultural understandings of Islam. In fact, there's an authentic hadith in the book of headed called the Sahaba been hybond, where a person converted in a faraway tribe, and his whole tribe was not Muslim.
And he was the only Muslim. Somebody passed through the tribe and said to him, Hey, your Islam is not valid because you're living amongst the KU Fars you're living amongst the you know the captors. So he got so worried, he traveled all the way to Medina, Subhana Allah, and he said, Oh, messenger of Allah, somebody came to me and said, My Islam is not valid, unless I leave my people who are not Muslim, and live amongst people who are Muslim, and our Prophet Sall, Allahu Allah, he was send them said that Oh, so in So pray, establish the prayer and give this occur, and live with your people, wherever you wherever they are. Now from this we can explicitly derive that as long as a Muslim is
not forced to commit should or Cofer and as long as a Muslim is able to practice the rituals of the faith, as for temptations, they're everywhere. Do you really think there's going to be no temptations back home, temptations are a part and parcel of life, as long as you're not forced to compromise your values, it is permissible for you to live now, whether you choose to live or not, that is up to you, there is no question you are free to, to weigh the pros and cons wherever you want to live. But from an Islamic perspective, there is no prohibition of living in a land that is not a Muslim land. Also, by the way, there is no land of Islam anymore, because the land of Islam
means that if you are a Muslim, you automatically have citizenship in that land. If there was a theoretical hypothetical Caliphate somewhere, the fact that you're a Muslim, you automatically can apply to go and migrate and say, Hi, I'm a Muslim, I deserve to be in this line. There is no country in the world that is a doubted Islam anymore. You have Muslim majority countries, no country is actually judging by the laws of Islam. And anyways. So in reality, the system that our books have found, and they talked about, for many hundreds of years, for millennia, actually no longer exists. We live in a very different world. We live in a nation state world, we live in a post in alpha
world. Because of this, we do need to rethink through even some rulings that might have been found many centuries ago. And therefore in our times, the vast vast majority of scholars who understand the modern dynamics that we live in, they say that a Muslim may live wherever they have the freedom to practice their religion, just like the Muslims at the time of Makkah migrated to Abyssinia, even though it was a land of Christians, because the Prophet system said it is a king that will allow you to worship Allah notice that is the condition right? There must be that the freedom to worship Allah, you should not be persecuted for being a Muslim. If you cannot pray and you cannot fast and
you're forced to worship false gods, then if you're able to migrate, you must migrate. If you cannot migrate in that situation, you're forgiven. But if we have the freedoms that we do in America, well then we thank Allah subhana wa tada for those freedoms. We have every right to live here if we choose to do so.
All right, does that go here, shall we also for answering all of our questions regarding civic engagement. So now we're going to transition into the LGBTQ plus
category of questions. So I'll pass it on to Sophia in the hall from the University of North Texas.
Fine. So this person considers them self as a practicing Muslim woman who is very religious. And they stated that the only inner battle they're having with themselves is having feelings towards other women. And they stated that they know that this is haram. So they're asking how should they address these feelings without feeling less religious? And how should we as Muslims deal with homosexual feelings? And what should I do if the friend or relative is struggling with the same sex desires? So we firmly believe that a desire in and of itself is not sinful, it can lead to sin, but a desire a feeling is not sinful, and you are no less of a Muslim for having a desire. And
therefore, the sister says that she feels you know, less of a Muslim or she feels or Islam is not, you know, strong simply because she has a certain persuasion. And we say no, that is not correct. What your persuasion is, or what you're attracted to, or your feelings or desires do not at all make you any less of a Muslim. Now, Allah azza wa jal has clearly told us that not every desire is healthy, okay, I might desire to consume substances are going to alter my mind, I might desire to be with a person that is not a female, that is not my wife, that desire is not in and of itself sinful, but it is something that is harmful if acted upon, and therefore we are told in our religion, that
the desires that lead to sin should be curbed. Now, listen, this is a very key point, the existence of the desire is not sinful, but to act upon it is indeed sinful. And therefore, to make sure that we keep those desires in check is the essence of our faith. And it is in that that our ranks are raised up Therefore, it is very possible that a person who is struggling with these desires, whether they're same sex, whether there's a young man or woman who's trying to keep chaste and dignified and not fall into Zina, whether it is somebody in love, but they're not married and so they don't want to you know, commit any type of Zina these are all desires, and in battling those desires, one is
raised in the ranks in front of Allah subhana wa Tada. And this is where a man is tested. And this is where the ranks of gender are assigned. Therefore, we can say to the sister, that the mere fact that you feel this way means nothing about the level of demand that you have your still Alhamdulillah a good Muslim or Muslim just because of that desire. It means nothing to us, a label this is put by society. We're interested in your Eman and taqwa that's what we're interested in it and Amanda taqwa is manifested in your relationship, in a law, in your rituals, and in controlling your desires not in the existence of the desires. Therefore, if this sister is able to overcome
those desires, and control them and curb them, it is very likely that she occupies a higher place than somebody who is not struggling with those desires. As for how somebody should go about, you know, curbing and controlling, obviously, the number one mechanism is indeed to turn to Allah subhanho wa Taala. That is the most important mechanism number two, we always believe that an increased amount of Koran and rituals will help us number three, our Prophet sallallahu Sallam told us that fasting helps, especially in that department number four. Now this is something that is not universal, some people not everybody, some people who struggle with same sex can also conceivably be
attracted to the opposite gender, ie what is called bisexual. If that is the case, then definitely, this desire should be satisfied in a halaal manner via marriage by finding a suitable partner. However, not everybody feels that way. There are people that feel that they cannot find happiness if they were to get married to the opposite gender, in which case we say that indeed, there is no other alternative other than celibacy. And celibacy is indeed possible. There are many people in human history, who are celibate. There are people right now, who are those young many women who are not married, they choose to be celibate, sometimes for years, sometimes for longer on end, and there is
no alternative because we firmly believe that there are certain desires that are simply unhealthy to be acted upon, and to act upon same sex desires we believe is something that is not beneficial for the soul. So turn to Allah subhana wa tada make lots of data and they could and if the desire can be satisfied in a permissible manner via marriage, with the opposite gender somebody that is Manasa when appropriate. Alhamdulillah hamdulillah. If other than this, then we ask Allah azza wa jal for support and to feel that Allah knows best.
Right? Does that glow her ship? Now I want to pass it on to Khalid sada from the University of Texas Arlington.
My question was, how do you navigate the waters? When someone asks What does Islam say about the LGBTQ
That's a very good question. Unfortunately, there's no quick, easy 22nd sound bite that will do the job? Because the person asking the question, generally speaking, has already made up his or her mind. For them, it is a matter of certainty, almost to that same sex and desires are something that are completely morally permissible. And perhaps the reason they're asking you, frankly, is simply to find a 22nd sound bite from you that they can use against you. So I would say honestly, that you take a step back, you should take a step back and say that, you know, for us, Islam is indeed a package deal. And we believe that our Lord has told us what is good for us and what is not good for
us. And the question I have for you is, do you believe in God? And if you if you do believe in God, that would you not accept the morality that comes with belief in God? So I think me personally, I would always ask them to take a step back. And obviously, if you know your history of ethics, and philosophy, if you know a little bit more about this type of stuff, you can get to the very, very early question that Plato himself asked in his famous treaties, is it timaeus, or forgot the treaties, but Plato himself asked Is that what exactly is good? And what exactly is evil? Who gets to decide what is good and evil? So you can begin from that political philosophy, philosophical
premise as well? Who defines good and who defines evil? Where does the notion of good and evil come from? Because for us, good and evil is something that we cannot decide on our own because we ourselves are biased? It's like we're choosing for us what's good and evil. And there's this this circular notion, how can I choose what's good and evil for me, when I'm the one benefiting or being harmed by my own decisions? So we firmly believe that social conditioning, that's another key phrase you can use plays a huge role in deciding what is good and what is evil. If an entire society is doing a particular customer habit, it's almost impossible for them to think that it is evil. And the
classic example is slavery, that for all of human history, and especially here in America, nobody even thought slavery was wrong. Another example is, is racial discrimination, that for 400 years, people argued intelligent people, the founding fathers of this country, Abraham Lincoln, as you should all be aware, did not believe that blacks and whites were equal, not at all, he firmly believed that his race was superior, morally and intellectually than the other race. And he was Abraham Lincoln. Why? Because of social conditioning. So we firmly believe that we need a source of ethics and laws that transcends the human experience, we firmly believe that there has to be a
higher power, and that's what the Quran says. Yeah, man, woman Hala isn't the one who created you? Isn't he more knowledgeable for you than anyone else? Allah? Yeah. And the woman Hala, the one who created is the one who has the right to tell us so we can go down this philosophical tangent, but as you've already seen, there's no 22nd clip. And in reality, we have to just take a step back and we say, I believe certain things are good, because my Lord told me so. And I believe other things are not good, because my Lord told me so do you want to know why I believe that Allah is my Lord, that the Quran is my book, that the process is my profit, then you change the conversation from LGBT and
morality, to belief in God, to the Koran to the Prophet sallallahu sallam, that's our fortress, we can fight and defend far more easier our notions of God and the Koran in this era, that's where we will win our battles. As for the LGBT, the person coming to you 99.9% of the times, they have already reached certainty in their minds, if they don't believe in God, they're not going to come to the conclusion that certain, you know, lifestyle preferences are not morally correct. So we take them to the bigger question of life and the purpose of life and the existence of God and the revelation of the Koran. And we argue from there, and then once we win that argument, then we can
proceed to talk about morality and ethics and Allah knows best.
Now we're gonna move on to the last question of this category. I'm sorry, second last question of this category from Obaid who's sitting right across from me from Plano Senior High School. So I'm gonna come up with a look, Dr. Sheffield God. So the question is, what practice should Muslims observe when illicit activities such as drugs, alcohol and LGBTQ issues are being normalized? Should we stand up and stand down? Or should we stand up for our morals at the risk of being labeled as homophobic, transphobic, etc?
That's a multi tiered question. I'll try to speak generically. We do not have to fight every single political battle. We do not have to get involved in every single issue of controversy in this country. So if there is a certain issue going on, that we have our morality that's compromised from it. We don't have to, you know, jump in that battle and defend or speak out politically. We should always speak out morally that what do we believe in terms of our theology in terms of our ethics, but we don't have to fight every single
Battle in terms of school policies or in terms of getting involved with the local or state officials, if it's involving something that is inherently sinful and immoral, we are allowed to have a third option, which is just don't do anything, right. You don't have to. And I gave a longer Lecture A number of years ago, where I talked about the 19th amendment. If you're you all are in high school and college, you should remember your US history, your constitutional history, you ought to remember the 21st amendment. Sorry, the 21st mm, which was the prohibition of alcohol that was repealed, right? I asked the question that if you were alive, when the the notion the issue of
alcohol was being discussed, that should it be banned? Or should it be? Should it be legalized? Right? Should it be allowed to be drunk? Or should we stop it? Don't you think the majority of Muslims would have said, Hey, you know, we should we should try to stop the selling of alcohol? Can you imagine if Muslim said, Oh, no, no, we should be on the other side. Because there should be freedom to drink. We should be telling people they should drink alcohol. Wouldn't that be so weird, right? Wouldn't that be against your principles, fast forward three years when the amendment failed on 21st. And then was passed where basically, it was repealed, there was once again, back and forth,
there were people demonstrating on both sides, lots of people, especially mothers, by the way, because they had to see their sons died because of drunkard because of, you know, mothers and wives, because they saw the reality of drunkenness, right, husbands would be below the beat their wives sons would die. A lot of women were against repealing the ban of alcohol, they wanted alcohol to remain banned. So there was demonstrations that we should keep the amendment to to have alcohol ban. On the other side, you had lots of people saying, Hey, I'm free, I should be drinking as I as I want. What do you think Muslims should have done back then? Once again, right. So think, think to
yourself, if that question is open shut, then why do things get complicated for other issues? It's because of our own social conditioning. So my point is very simple. politically speaking, if you want to argue you either argue in generics without being specific, so you can say that, for example, people should be free to worship as they choose. That's fine, no problem there. But you should not be explicitly saying that, hey, you should worship an idol. Why should we say that? as a Muslim, we don't believe that. We don't believe that you should be worshipping an idol. But if we say generically, that the government should not impose what we should worship, okay, I can see an
argument being made in that case. So we have to be careful in our language, we have to be careful on our platforms, we have to be careful with our alliances and loyalties. All of this is a gray area. And I go back to previous question that make sure that you get advice from people who are politically savvy, and make sure you have connections with the scholars who are also politically savvy, and make sure you have your own conscience clear that you're getting involved, it's a bit of a gray area. And as long as overall, what you're doing is for the greater good, and as long as you yourself are not explicitly compromising your beliefs and your teachings, there is room for leeway,
and be careful. Nonetheless, somebody's got to stand up. And going back to your question. As I said, you don't have to fight every single battle when you choose to do so make sure you have the proper connections and the proper knowledge. And I'll make it easy.
Just click Clear share. And now we have our last question in this category, and I'm going to pass it on to usher from the University of Illinois.
icon. Okay, so this question is How is the Muslim body on college campuses? Are we supposed to deal with topics pertaining to LGBTQ plus, for example, we hosted an online event and separate it. So it was brothers and one concert series and another call, we then received a complaint that the MSA was being discriminatory against non binary individuals and that MSA should be more inclusive and not do any more gender separated events. Is there something that we're allowed to say that doesn't go against the teachings of Islam but also won't trigger any canceling culture?
If we're to make a very tough a comments slash remarks to saying we support LGBTQ plus rights? have anything islamically incorrect with it?
So I've already answered parts of this question. And the last one, I'm just gonna continue for I left off, you're presenting something that is far more convoluted. It is the intersection of our morality, with social pressure, along with perhaps even legal pressure, which is where the problem comes now in America and I want all of you on the call to appreciate this. We thank Allah I am thankful to Allah for the First Amendment. Realize in Europe, it is very different. And in Europe, even in some countries, you are not allowed to have gender segregated halls or conferences. There have been Islamic conferences that have been raided by the police and find why they
But this isn't Europe, we're not talking about some third world country or some fascist regime in Europe and countries that are well known. The police have find organizations, other organizations have been banned from having Muslim conferences. Why? Because men are in one side of the hall, there was a sign that said sisters here and brothers there, no barrier, no partition simply assigned. And because of that, there was so many issues. And you know, I was there there was just a nightmare and nightmare. So we thank Allah that we do have a lot more freedoms in this country, by the way that our European counterparts Now, what is to be done? I cannot answer you fully, because this requires
knowledge of the law. And it also requires knowledge of your campuses policies, because again, every campus has the right as well to institute its own internal policies. And we have to work within those policies. Now. What what that MSA ended up doing that I was at is an ISOC. As they call themselves, the ISOC, what they ended up doing was to verbally spread amongst their own constituents. And when you walked in, and you're a practicing Muslim, you obviously see to verbally spread brothers are on this side sisters on that side. Now, if you're going to get one person who's going to be really nasty, and he's going to go to the other, okay, let them you, the person will sit
there and there's going to be empty space all around them, you know, you cannot enforce it in that land. But you know, if the police were to come say, hey, there's no sign it just so happened that everybody did that, right? I mean, what are you gonna do? So where there's a will, there's a way you need to talk to your, your school counselors, the people in charge, you need to bring in lawyers as well, and see what is not possible if it's only social pressure, ie petitioners going to be raised at the MSA is transphobic. Because it's only having two genders and whatnot. And it's just social pressure. That's not going to go anywhere, you know, perhaps you can explain that, hey, we're not
preaching hatred of anybody. But now you're hating us. Because of our values. Flip it around, right? Flip it around. You're you're being sis phobic now, are you being cisgender phobic, for example, right? We have the right to to have our notions as well, we're not preaching to anybody else who doesn't want to believe us. But what if all of us believe in this and we voluntarily choose? Who are you to come between us and our rights, switch it around, because there is an element of who gets to call the who gets to call the other one, you know, a phobic basically as transphobic, or sis phobic or gender phobic or whatnot. So that's another thing. Also, as I said, explain to your own school
and explain that, hey, this is our, you know, morality that we have and see if you can work your way out. And ironically, in this case, I mean, we might be able to find some common grounds with people that otherwise disagree with us, especially conservative religious folks, they might agree with this issue, that perhaps if we can come together and say, hey, look, we're not asking for a change in school policy. But we don't appreciate this policy being applied upon us, right. So we also have the freedom to act as we choose to please as we as we please, to act. And therefore you try to argue from that case, and the end of the day, there are too many variables that I don't know, you need to
find out from all of these parties what you can and cannot do, but what you cannot do is to ascribe something to Islam that is not Islamic, even if you yourselves are forced to, then you don't have to say it in the name of Islam, even if they force you to, let's say, have no segregation or whatnot. Okay, that's there, they can force you to do it. You should never say Islam endorses it, you should never say the Quran asuna teaches us. You know, to do this, we firmly believe that the default is that there are two genders. And a lot of xojo says he has created you in male and female Yes, there's a very, very small percentage of intersex people that have chromosomes that are neither XY
nor xx, that's something that is very, very small percentage. However, anybody that's born biologically, with an X, Y, or x X chromosome, anybody that's born with normal chromosomes, the Shetty considers them to be male or female, and the different slight rulings are applied to them. And that's something that historically, biologically, culturally and religiously, is something that we firmly believe now that all of this is changing, this is going to be the new battle, right? The previous battle was the LGBT now LGB, let's say now the new battle is in the T and the T plus, and we're gonna have to remain consistent. Because in the end of the day, if we do not maintain
preaching our values, then we have lost everything. The real the only purpose that we have here really is that we have to maintain the religion of Allah in our lives, and preach it to anybody who's interested. That's all that it is. We're not forcing it on anybody. But if we're going to compromise what we believe, then in reality, we have reached a level where we going going, going back to a previous question, we need to ask ourselves, should we even live in a land where we cannot even practice what we preach and we cannot even preach what we believe. So May Allah make it easy, but I'm overly optimistic because not only do we have the First Amendment, but also because this is
an ongoing debate. We are seeing the culture wars taking place. We're seeing quite
A lot of discussion going on. And I'm optimistic that there will always be a large group of people of all different faiths and have no faith that will have similar views and will find comfort. You know, in that in that demographics, even if it's not a majority of the land and Allah knows best.
All right, does that go a fair share for answering all of our questions in the LGBTQ plus category? So now we're going to transition on to gender relationships? So this actually is a question that I'm going to be asking. So what constraints should Muslim men and women oblige by when meeting persons of the opposite gender on campus, either academically or socially? Common Sense applies, honestly, common sense applies. It's really you don't need a long lecture. Everybody knows. When things are getting out of hand. Everybody knows when decent conversations becoming flirtatious, you don't need to be taught how to flirt with the opposite gender. And the shediac does not encourage sparks of
passion flying pre marriage, because everybody knows where it's going to lead. So the main, the main, generic advice that I can give as an older brother is never should a brother and sister meet alone and unsupervised. It's as simple as that the Profit System was very clear about this that never is the man and woman together alone, except that she had gone is the third of them. Anytime there are meetings there should be done in public with multiple people. And any time and of course, I mean, this is I'm sure this question is going to come up in the in the next few questions. But if you find that feelings are developing, we go back to the previous question. There's nothing wrong
with feelings. And frankly, it's only natural and normal, that feelings are going to develop, keep those feelings in check until it's time that is possible to to talk about marriage. And when that conversation is going to happen. It should never happen alone should never happen. Just one on one, bring friends and family. Whenever family is involved. Things are always going to be dignified and decent, right? There's nothing wrong with having a feeling for somebody that hey, I think this person is going to make a good life partner. For me. There's nothing wrong with that. But if you get family involved, you get friends involved, and you don't do things secret, then everything's going
to be aboveboard. And I know I'm jumping the gun. You're gonna have some other questions about this. But I want to say one thing that brothers and sisters at that age Listen, you want your life to be blesses, you want your marriage to be blesses you want your future to be bless it. In order to do that. You need to lay the foundation pre marriage, not after marriage, you need to lay the foundations now, you don't want to do things. Listen to me carefully. And I'm being blunt here. You don't want to do things that you are going to regret for the rest of your life. Because this is not just a one off mistake. This is something that will emotionally and psychologically scar you. Okay?
Let me again, be explicit here. You don't want to be getting flashbacks of somebody else on your wedding night. Think how you're starting your life think it's not an easy mistake. This is a big mistake. It's not a trivial mistake. So in order to not get to that level, you need to start cutting off way before you get to that level. Because at that stage, and we've all been through that stage at that stage, even you do not know how powerful your emotions can become. In fact, the Koran calls those sexual desires intentions. The Koran calls it
fluffy Socrates, Dr. Moon, it's an intoxication, the word Sakura is used intoxication. A lot calls the lust love that happens. You know, it's in the Koran, the word Sakura is used, but you're intoxicated, meaning you cannot even think rationally, you know, and again, that's not to get too explicit here. Sometimes I have to control ourselves. Well look at the crimes of passion that occur. Look at college campuses, and the date rape culture and whatnot, right? What is going on? What is all of that stuff, it's literally that a person is not even able, they're not thinking rationally. So when you go down this route and Avenue, unless you keep yourself in check, it's very easy to slip
all the way to the end. My advice, therefore, is each one of you needs to think long and hard, especially when feelings develop to keep those feelings dignified. Listen to me, again, there's nothing wrong at all with having a feeling for somebody actually, that is totally natural. There's nothing wrong with that. But once that exists, number one, you wait until the marriage age comes when you're 17 that's not the age to talk about marriage. It's just the way the society is. You have to be of age that if you're a young man, you need to have close to having a job if you can't afford to pay your rent, how are you going to have a wife You know, as a sister as well? What age are your
family going to be willing to get you married? Number two, once you get to that marriage age, do not do things on your own. Do not go solo, bring in family and friends, you know and see what can be done in a halal manner. And then you should allow the other I strongly encourage you know, young men, a woman to get the nikka done, but this is the problem of parents
and whatnot, and probably one of the questions is gonna be about that. But if it was in Mike, if it was in my control, I would tell all the parents that as soon as you're young, you know, son or daughter is of intellectual maturity. And that varies from person to person 2021 2220, whatever intellectual maturity, at least if they find a partner, get the cut off GitHub, then that means just the rest signing the contract, they're not going to be living together as husband is why I strongly encourage that they should. This is healthy in the society we live in that a young man and a young woman, once they decide they want to get married, at least the kneecap should be done. So that if
they want to, you know, go out on a quote, unquote, date, even though they're technically married, but they have dinner at lunch together, they spend time on the phone together, but they're not living together, then it's all has all the families No. And at that age, it's good to have an outlet that is totally helot. without actually living. This is very important. I'm putting this in your minds, because sometimes parents do allow this. If the parents don't allow it, well, then that's just a part of life. And I'll advise you one last point for the next question. However you feeling now remember it. And remember when you have a son or daughter that is now your age, and try to then
work with them. And don't be like the uncle Auntie's that you're so frustrated at your age and Allah knows best.
So now I want to pass it on to nosey Hi, Muhammad from Plano senior high
on the side, so this person's question is if I choose not to ever get married, well, I go to hell for that.
No, not at all. But let me say that you're in high school, right? So give this young lady or young men some time. Perhaps they're being a little bit hasty in this decision. Nonetheless, it is completely their prerogative. Getting married is not something that is Wajid nor is it something that is the default is that it is encouraged if it's good for you, but it's not good for some people and there were some very famous scholars of Islam have been telling me and ever gotten married? Mm hmm. No, we never got married many of the famous scholars of Islam they just didn't have the time or the desire to get married. So it is completely permissible that having been said
you know, realize that maybe at a younger age you know, there is this notion of I don't want to get married which is totally fine. That's going to change there's something called the biological clock right which Mashallah when you're in high school you don't even care about or know about but the biological clock sets in and when the biological clock sets in then once paradigm shifts so short answer, no, nobody's going to hell for for for not getting married. It's not something that is going to bring any sense so you can tell your your friend that insha Allah
So now I want to pass it on to a markazi I have a feeling you know him, maybe a little bit from SMU. So yes. Marty vinyasa?
Yes. Okay. So my question is from Byron say it says the so called validating possible How should young Muslim Americans approach relationships? both online and in person? Really? Can you repeat the first part? I didn't hear you.
is so called about dating possible. So called Hello, dating? Yeah, mother, there's something you want to tell me.
Somebody I should know about? I don't know what's going on. This is a very awkward question for me. Okay.
So yeah, I'm Molly vinyasa, so called Hello dating.
As I said earlier,
one needs to be very, very careful going down this avenue. Again, everybody thinks that they're qualified to keep their emotions in check, everybody, but nobody even knows the strength of their emotions once. Once that love begins to grow. Realize that first loves are the most passionate because there's never been a previous experience and realize that at that stage and age of one's life, it is definitely something like the hold on says intoxicating. So my advice would be that never should a young man or woman go down this path without the parents or the elders knowing never should that happen because it is hello to meet for the sake of getting to know what other political
marriage nobody's denying that. The problem comes when you open this door to start meeting people at random and you have in your mind Oh, I'm gonna date 10 sisters and then choose which one? No, nobody's saying that. We're talking about a young man and young woman. They have an intuition that, hey, we're going to be good for one another. They talk to their parents. Their parents say okay, fine. It's a life commitment. You can't just meet once and then decide you're going to have to meet a few times praise the hora. those meetings should be done with the knowledge of other people right now Can they be done in a public place?
That, you know, is not private. So again, this is literally literally on the line of you know, danger versus not as long as the parents are aware, and it is a public place. technically this is hella, as long as the goal is marriage, but the problem comes the Western culture, the goal is not married, the goal is to hook up that's not the issue. The issue in Islam is that if both parties literally have the goal, I want to get married, and I want to see is this person right for me or not? If that is this frame of mind, right? Then insha Allah to Allah, they can meet up, I'm not going to call the dating because that is a whole different connotation, they can meet up. And within
a few times there is the knowledge of whether there's a compatible compatibility or not, you see, and again, this is to all the young men and women listening. You don't need to meet somebody for 234 years to figure out whether their life partners or not, you need to meet a few times. See, is there a rapport chemistry, ask some questions about life and whatnot, and then practice the kata and then speak to the elders and make your decision after that. After this, you're simply convoluted, you're not going to make up your mind any more by meeting for years and years. It doesn't work that way. The Western culture in this regard is very different than our Islamic values. For us. There's no
doubt that sometimes culture has made things very difficult. And I understand that we need to therefore differentiate between culture and between and between religion. And again, things change. So Mars, grandparents, my parents, they never spoke one word to each other until the day of the marriage. My father, my father, was decided my grandparents decided who the bride would be. And in front of everybody, he just came to see my my mother, they weren't married yet. And the whole living room, no conversation, and they've been married Mashallah, 52 years as a Marlowe's 53. Actually, Mashallah, right now?
Is that something that's going to happen in this generation? Should we do this with the next generation? Should I choose a bride for a modern then that doesn't work that way? Does it? It's not going to happen. So what is the middle ground? Where is that? Where is that we have to be frank and discuss, right? And I I'm encouraging you all who are watching here to speak to your parents, I'm encouraging you that you know best how to approach this topic. It's a very awkward topic. If you feel embarrassed, go through your older cousins, or nephews or, sorry, uncles and aunts, go to people that know your parents and lay out you know, this is what I have in mind before you decide,
you know, make sure these these conditions are met. These are very awkward conversations fully understandable. At the same time, you cannot just ignore our Shetty up and ignore your parents as well. Because also, here's another point. And I know this might be one question as well. Dear young men and women,
navigating through your spouse and your parents is one of the fundamental dramas of every human being. Okay, Romeo and Juliet. It's not just 500 years ago, every single case is going to be different. And you're going to face this issue. Make sure that you take into account your parents do have some right over you. I'm not saying they have veto power. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't. I'm not saying that. But I'm saying never completely cut them off. Because at the end of the day, you know, you will need your parents if something happens. The marriage is not certain. Your parents for certain will always be your parents. Okay? Keep that point in mind. When you're 2122 23.
The concept of divorce will never crossed your mind that's really great and nice and naive and innocent. But in reality, you know, as you're aware of statistics are not very, very comforting. So be pragmatic, be realistic. Speak to your elders pray is too hot to Allah subhana wa Tada. And back to your question about halal dating, and if there's anything you'd be telling me, I'm sure we'll talk tonight inshallah. But
otherwise, I don't consider this to be dating. We should not use the term dating, we should say, if a young man and a young woman
understand that they are talking to one another for the sake of Nika.
And their parents are aware that this is something that is permissible as long as the Islamic protocols are done. Other than this, we should keep this door shut because opening this door of just random
people meeting up is eventually going to lead to that which is how long and Allah knows best.
Now we have our last question in this category, and I'm going to pass it off to zany mom.
All right, shake. Dr. Yesica Lee is premarital counseling allowed or is it not allowed in Islam?
Islam has nothing to say about this. It's up to you if you want to do it or not to remember Islam. The default of Islam is that it is silent on almost all issues. So what is haram is clear what is headed is clear in the middle is
That which is basically the [???]ty as default is silence. So premarital counseling is something that it goes back to you and your fiance or your culture, if you wish to to engage in this, that's good. And if you choose not to, there's no need to do that. There's no Islamic verdict on it. Okay.
Alright, so now we're gonna be moving on to the finance category, which only has one question, and I'm going to pass it off to MMA heroes.
This person is asking if investing in s&p 500 stocks is allowed in Islam.
The question cannot be answered that simplistically there, she doesn't care whether it's s&p 500 or not. That's irrelevant. There are other factors that make a stock, Highlander How long? So the question should be that can one invest in stocks? And the response is that yes, if certain conditions are met, and what those conditions are, varies from committee to committee, but there are two or three broad conditions are pretty much are unanimously agreed upon, first and foremost that the product itself overall be highlighted. So obviously, you cannot invest in Budweiser. You cannot invest in an unethical or illegal, buy or buy, unethical. I mean, like an arms company that's going
to be bombing people, you don't want to as a Muslim, how can you invest in a company whose primary product is going to kill billions of people? I mean, you can't do that. So the product has to be halal, okay. of them as well, is that the, the the notion of interest and interest loans need to be taken into account, how much is the liquid assets available? And how much is loaned from the company as well. And that's something that again, there's different ratios, some say 30%, or what not. So as long as and there's actually something called the Islamic Dow Jones index, if you can look that up the Islamic Dow Jones index. Also there are corporations and companies that do the homework for you,
right? So there's why hate investment and amount of mutual funds and whatnot, and they've done a little bit of homework, and they have a portfolio of stocks that are that are permissible. So you are allowed to invest in stocks that are overall halaal. What those stocks are, the easiest thing to do is to go through a third party and then you know, ask them are these stocks meeting the standards or not. And the primary standard body is called the eo fe i o fi, it is a International Association of Islamic finance. It is like the premier or the gold standard of Islamic finance. And they have lots of people that have done their certificate program across the globe. And their conditions are
the ones that are considered to be the most reasonable and the most global, and that these are the ones that are followed by these mutual funds. So bottom line, yes, if the conditions are met, and generally speaking, the ones that were familiar with the larger companies that their products are halaal and their overall doing that, which is how that generally speaking, it is permissible to invest in those companies and Allah knows best.
Right, does that glow here? So now we're going to be moving on to our next category which is Dawa. So I'll pass it off to Sophie on bake.
This person asks, How should I Muslim approach a relationship with a non Muslim family member?
By non Muslim, do you mean martyred? Or do you mean this Muslim converted and their families default non Muslim? There's a difference between the two? The question didn't specify.
Okay, so the reason why there's a difference is because with regards to the somebody was left Islam, obviously, there's a there's a bit of a tension there. And that tension cannot be ignored when a close family member was a Muslim and then chooses to leave the faith. That does complicate things. Now, I'm not saying you have to, you know, boycott or cut off all ties, but definitely, the frustration needs to be there throughout one's relationship that there's got to be the sense of, you know, I'm sad that this has happened, whereas, that level does not need to exist for the one who is obviously
is not was never a Muslim. But the notion of giving Dawa to that will remain so how does one treat family members who are non Muslim the Quran is very clear. Lyon ha como La Nina Lem, Yokosuka de anyone when they come into the room or talk to him that the Quran is very clear that a lot is saying that you're allowed to have the highest level of closeness which is called beer. And you're also allowed to have the lowest level which just to be fair to them, as long as they are not enemies to you and stopping you from your faith. You're allowed this entire spectrum, how you choose to deal with them, it depends on you. So if a person converts and their mother is a non Muslim, they should
remain maintain the ties have been the highest level because they're the mother and if it's some family member, distant family member you can just be nice to them and and just you know, exchange pleasantries and whatnot. There is no different rulings. I know that there is a strand of modern soon ism. Unfortunately, they preach some things that are
bizarre they think they should you should hate non Muslims and whatnot. And, you know, that's simply not true. The Prophet system loved his uncle Abu Paulien even though his uncle passed away a pagan, and the Quran affirms that love. The Quran uses the word love. The Prophet system had love for Abu Dhabi, right in Nicoletta demon. The herb is affirmed of authority, and yet Abu Talib died as a pagan. So this notion of we have to hate the KU Fars. I mean, this is a fancy slogan that a very small group of you know, modern, you know, one group, they have this theological notion, and frankly, even they themselves cannot implement it because it is not natural to hate people that have
done no wrong to you. You can't You can't just walk around and your heart is full of hatred for somebody else unless you have pathological disease, your problem so even these people who preach it, they cannot follow it. They just say it as a slogan. So if that's what you're referring to, then that's an incorrect theology, and it needs to be refuted. Islam does not teach us to hate other people. Islam does teach us to dislike actual Cofer and shirk, yes, but not the people. There's a difference, right? We don't like the concept of other than love being worshipped. And if somebody is a non Muslim, then we love the good in them. And we don't like the fact that they're worshiping
other than Allah. But nowhere in the Quran and soon does it tell us that we hate the entire individual, just because they're not a part of our faith. That is a misinterpretation that yes, it is taught, I'm not denying it is taught, but it is not mainstream beliefs of Islam that Allah knows best.
Does that go a fair share? In the interest of time, we're going to be moving on to the general category? And we'll start off with a question from myself. So we see on social media like Tick Tock and Twitter, that Muslims, they can be immensely toxic in people's comment sections. And they might just act as like haram police. And they'll be calling out people's mistakes under the guise of advising. So for example, there'll be comments from brothers about how a sister is not wearing Hijab properly, and other stuff of this nature. So how should we deal with this as a Muslim community.
We're all aware of the toxic social culture that has been created. We're all aware that the internet provides a level of anonymity. And also a false sense of bravado.
People say online what they would never say in person. People say to others, and write comments on other's posts, what they wouldn't even if it's in their name, there's sometimes people are hiding behind an anonymous username, which is even worse, but even sometimes with their name, that they might say something that they would never say, to the person's face. And we need to simply preach against this and keep on telling people that if you are concerned about the mistakes of other people more than you're concerned about your own mistakes, this is something that clearly indicates a disease in your heart. If you concentrate on the mistakes of others more than your own mistakes,
then realize that this is demonstrative of your own heart being full of disease. And I just in my recent Facebook post was two days ago, I posted a Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam that whoever considers everybody else to be misguided and deviated, he is the one who is the most misguided. This is a Hadith of the Prophet. So Sarah, if you're thinking that everybody is wrong, and everybody is off the path, that in fact, you are the one that is the most because you have a level of arrogance. Now, there's a fine line between preaching the truth, and between and between being a critic preaching the truth should be done generically. It should never be done specifically,
okay? You don't call out somebody mistakes and say this is preaching the truth? No, it's a Hadeeth. Inside Bahati. Whenever the Prophet says and wanted to correct a mistake, he would say, Why do some people do this? And he wouldn't mention by name, this is the Prophet system. Also, you need to have some authority. So if you're the president of the MSA, and there's a problem happening the MSA, then yes, definitely, you need to say, a generic statement. Why are some people doing this without mentioning names. But if you're not a person who has the social clout, and your statements can easily be rejected or misinterpreted, then realize that it's not your job to be, you know, preaching
and teaching, you have to see who you are, and the cloud that you have with cloud comes responsibility. If you don't have that cloud, well, then you don't have to speak out our Profit System clearly said, Whoever sees an evil trying to change it with your hand if you can't with your tongue, if you can't with your heart. Why did he say these three things why? Because not everybody can change with the hand. If you are, you know, if you're the father and your son or the bill, I was, you know, I was a beta male or protectors, you know, your son or daughter's doing clear how you have to say you're not allowed to bring this substance. You're not allowed to do this. And now you
have to put your foot down for that. If you give it your brother, your sister, your cousin, then you speak the truth. You cannot force your brother You speak the truth say, hey, you shouldn't be doing that. But if it's a total stranger, and your statement is going to do nothing, while
Then what are you going to do, just don't like it in your heart. So, generally speaking, follow this tripartite three level of categorization. If you have authority and power over somebody, then yes, enforce it with your hand, ie if it's your family, if you are close to somebody, but you don't have power over them. If it's your brother, your sister, your cousin, you have a strong relationship with them, your friend, and you see an evil, take them aside and advise them one on one not in public. Because remember, shaffir famously remarked that whoever advises his brother in public, this is not advice. This is shaming your brother, he remarked this right, whoever advises in public, this isn't
advice. This is shaming. So do not advise in public, even if they post on Facebook, why do you have to post on Facebook? If they posted a sin? Go to them in private? And say, if you are friends with them, you know, whatever the Why are you doing this in public a cover up your sins, so feel free to go to them on an individual level and speak to them one on one, but you don't need to shame them, name them and shame them in public. And if you do not know them at all, then the best thing to do is to be silent, and to concentrate on your own mistakes and issues. And if you need to speak in complete generics that, you know, why is this some people are backbiting or whatnot. And the final
point, brothers and let me be especially harsh here, because my gender allows me to do this. Young men, please, for the love of God, stop commenting on women's clothes. Simple as that. Just stop talking about it. Unless it is your own sister, take her to the side. And in private, no problem. Your own daughter. Yes, no problem. But if it's somebody in the MSA, somebody on campus, somebody's not related to you just zip it and let others do the Dawa. You are not the right person to be preaching and teaching to young ladies, you are a young man, you're not the right person. Okay, somebody will do it, we preach it, I preach it. I've given talks and lectures about how many women
should dress, Okay, no problem. But you are not because of many factors that I want to get into. You're not the right person to be preaching and teaching, just be quiet. And then the advice to the senior sisters, that you know, if the brothers are going to be quiet, then the Sisters of the MSA do need to take an active role and try their best to bring about a sense of higher and modesty and teach and preach. Because indeed, if the brothers are not going to do it, somebody's got to do it. And that person should be an elder sister of the community. And brothers Mind your own business, you have plenty of mistakes, we have plenty on our own side as well, right? We have plenty of stuff we
can do, you should concentrate on the mistakes of your agenda for the time being, because you have more social privilege in your own side of the of the aisle. And Alonzo Joe knows best. Right. Does that glare? I think that's some advice a lot of people can use. So the next question has actually been answered already. And so that means we're going to be going on to the next question, which is question 18 from a markazi. pass it on to you.
Thank you. So my question is not related. Last question is how do you deal with difficult, difficult parents? And what should you do when you disagree strongly with something your parents? What's going on? Yeah, Mom, right. Why don't you just let we have some frank conversations? Why do you have to go through the, the MSA chat to Because see, I don't know what difficult parents are mom would be talking about? You know, I have no clue whatsoever.
Very good question. Actually. Yeah, a modern Of course, it's not related to our family life whatsoever. Absolutely. No, no, no, we have no idea what this is in our household. But the question is, indeed, very good. How does one deal with difficult parents? Well, I wish there was an easy answer. Well, I wish I could give you three points of advice and it could apply. The fact of the matter is there is no cookie cutter answer. The fact of the matter is, it's a case by case basis, every single situation is different. All I can advise you super generically. First and foremost, most important thing, most important thing. Make sure you have a relationship with a law because if
you don't have a relationship with a law, you won't know how to deal with your parents. A lot is the creator of you and your parents turn to Him, have a relationship with him. Second thing, get advice from those that are older than you senior to you get advice from cousins from uncles and aunts get advice from other family members, because there are situations and I have had to deal with this. People have emailed me I've gotten involved. were stuck for a while but but there's a physical threat, you know, for to the young men and women by their abusive fathers or whatnot. There's physical threats, you can't then you know, you need somebody to intervene in that regard, right? So
get advice from people that know your situation. If there's no physical threat, there's no physical harm, or there's no abuse going on because abuse is also mental and psychological. So again, there's signs of abuse and you can look this up as well. There's there's different types of abuse, but if there's
No, if there's no abuse is just unreasonable parent it's just an you know, father or mother who's just being unreasonable in this case, okay? Now we can go to that low because again, if there's an actual abuse or physical abuse that requires intervention, if your life is in danger, if you're psychologically going to be scarred, well then you cannot remain quiet and you need to get help from not just me from the law sometimes no problem. You know, the Shetty ad does not require you to lose your life because you're trying to be polite to your mother and father, that's ridiculous to share the values your life as well. And if your mother and father are so unreasonable, or so
if you like, harmful to you, that your life your your life is in threat, then the Shetty is going to tell you to get help, no problem there. But in Sharla, for the majority of us, for most of us, it's not that to that level, rather, what it is, is that you feel your parents are putting awkward conditions on you. You feel that, you know, they're saying things that you don't want to do. And you know what, this is a fact of life, it is a part and parcel of growing up, okay? It's a part and parcel of becoming fully independent and coming of age, you don't think we had the same issue with our parents and you don't think you're gonna have the same issue with your your teenagers as well,
then I'm our noses as it is them all the time. And my other son as well, like, you know, I've been in your shoes you haven't been in mind, I've been 1819 2021. I know how it feels. You don't know how it feels to be a father. And you know, your son or your daughter's outside, you don't know that situation. And when you get to that level, and you get to that situation, you think you're going to let your son or daughter anything that never happens because things change, you learned wisdom experience. So what I'm saying is that this situation needs to be navigated with wisdom, and with help from people who have been there and done that. Not every rule that your mother or father places
on you automatically makes them unreasonable or somebody who's, you know, not worthy to be listened to. On the contrary, frankly, the majority of tension arises simply because the parents are smothering their children with love than the rules that the parents give. They come from a place of love and protection. They don't come from a place of wanting to be nasty. And that's something our young, many women understandably, don't understand. I didn't understand when my when my parents did the same to me, I didn't understand I'm like, I don't need to be told a curfew time, I don't need to be told this and that I'm, you know, at the time I was 17. I'm 17 I'm able to this, I'm 18. Okay, so
it's human nature, it's human nature, that there's going to be this tension at that age where you think you are qualified, and your parents don't think you're qualified. And guess what I'm going to be brutally honest here, there is an element of truth to both of them. I'm not saying any one side is right or wrong. You're at that age now where you're not fully independent, you're not even if you are financially independent, a 22 year old who's just gotten a job is really just a teenager plus two or three, they're not yet fully mature intellectually, life is going to teach you what books cannot teach you degrees are not going to come in to help, you know, and I realized this Panama as I
go the age and I you know, I encourage all of you young men or women to read a quick article, the very smartest most brief article I wrote, it is called 10. For 20 at 40. google it 10 420 at 4010 pieces of advice, I'd give my 20 year old self now that I'm 40 years old. A few years ago, I turned 40 when I turned 40, I wrote this article I went viral is on the Muslim matters blog 10 pieces of advice, I'd write for my 20 year old self now that I'm 40 years old. So I gave 10 pieces of advice that I want every teenager to read. And when I did what it was a few years ago, it proved to be very beneficial is still online. And one of the pieces of advice I gave is that.
At a young age, we overestimate our own maturity. And we underestimate the wisdom of our elders because of superficial factors. You know, Mark Twain famously remarked that I ran away from home at the age of 18. Because I thought my father was an idiot. I came back at the age of 20. And I was surprised at how wise he had become in two years. Okay, this is Mark Twain, being facetious, obviously, that he didn't recognize his own father's wisdom, you know, and I'll be very again very
blunt here as well. So my my grandmother, my father's mother, she was actually not educated lady, meaning she didn't go through she couldn't read and write you couldn't, you know, born in the 1920s and whatnot, right? And she passed away, obviously, you know, as a young woman's 2021 years old. And looking back at the memories I have with her so panela she was uneducated, she could not read and write right. But the wisdom she had about navigating family and navigating personal politics right, and helping solve problems. While law heat books couldn't teach you because she's lived it.
experiences and life that, who cares if she can't read and write. She's lived through the ups and downs of so many different scenarios and problems and bickering and politics and what not. So to be brought in as an elder to solve a problem, the wisdom of my grandmother would be a PhD from any Ivy League, you understand, I'm saying here, right. So my point is that don't trivialize the rules of your parents, just because you think you know, better, and realize, and you know, I'm not as my son, obviously, you know this and Mark my words, son as well. When you have children, you will be probably even stricter than your parents were with you. Because of many factors of them.
technology's changing and whatnot. Don't think that when you get away, you're gonna let your kid know, it doesn't work that way. Right? Your parents are giving you rules, because they're caring about you, and they want to protect you. Now, you have the right to challenge those rules politely you do. You have the right to say, Father, Mother, I don't think this rule is wise, and explain in a mature manner. Listen to me, young men and women. If you're going to throw a tantrum, you're only proving the point that you need rules. Simple as that. If you're going to throw an emotional tantrum with your mother and father, you're proving that you're not mature, you really want to show them
that you're mature, then you act like an adult. And slowly but surely, they're going to start treating you like an adult, you start acting like an adult, slowly, it's not going to be overnight, because you don't become an adult overnight, you do not become an adult. In just one instance, becoming an adult is a process. And it takes years, you know, there are refugee children at the age of 13. They're more mature than some of you at the age of 26. Because of what they've been through, right life will teach them maturity, it's not books, it's not degrees, it's what you undergo in life. So the fact that you think you're an adult means nothing, prove it with your actions, prove it
with your maturity. So if your parents you think your parents are unreasonable, sit them down, and talk to them like an adult and say, you know, you have this rule or this that. And I'd like to just make my case and it's up to you because hey, listen, and my son's know this from me, as long as I'm paying the rent intuition, I get to make the laws and rules Simple as that. Okay, when you are independent and on your own well, then that's it. So as long as you know, you're dependent on your parents understand, there's something called the Golden Rule, guys, you should all know it. Okay? The Golden Rule version be not version a version a we all know Do unto others as you want to be done
in two, that's the politically correct one, there's an incorrect version as well, right? He who has the gold gets to make the rules, simple as that, okay, so whoever has the gold gets to make the rules. So I tell my, my sons this all the time that, hey, as long as you know, this is exactly what my father said to me as well. As long as you're living under my roof, I get to make the rules. It's very true. It's the reality of life here. You want to prove to your parents that you're fully mature, then you need to learn to pay the bills, you need to learn to demonstrate you are fully independent, you know, and until I have a phrase here, again, listen to this as well, until you come
across a time in your life where you're genuinely having to sit down and monitor your budget. And you don't even know if you're going to make rent that particular month. That's what's going to make you mature. That's what you're going to make you realize what life is, as long as you're going to fall back on your parents and pull out your dad's credit card or whatnot. There's going to be a comfort zone in a bubble. That's fine. It's understandable. That's what good parents are for shallow Tada, yes, we want you to succeed. We'll take care of you for that timeframe. But there's going to be a middle timeframe, which most of you in right now, you're not fully adults, even if you think
you are, so negotiate firmly and politely. And you know what, I'm sorry to tell you this, but they do have veto power in most of your affairs until you are fully independent, even islamically. They do have veto power. And it's just common sense. I mean, again, as long as they're under your under their responsibility. Of course they're what they're what they're going to have veto power. Last point I want to mention, you have the right to be angry. In your heart, you have the right to disagree. You have the right to completely consider their paradigm to be invalid. You do not have the right to be rude to your parents under no circumstances. That's the Koran and all of you know
that and I don't need to quote you the Quran and Sunnah. For that you have the right to negotiate with wisdom, you have the right to push back gently. You do not have the right to be rude ever. You have no right in the idea to be routed obnoxious to your parents. Allah says in the Koran, even if they're forcing you to commit [???]. Don't listen to them, but accompany them in this world with kindness. If that's shirk, then how about if they put a curfew on you? How would if they tell you what's the latest is a PS five, come up with PS five, right? Yeah. Okay. The PS five. All of you guys are smirking already. Huh. Okay. That if your father says that, you're not going to get the
latest PS five, you know, until whatever you can do whatever you want.
But you don't have the right to be rude because they made a decision that they thought was best for your, for your deen and dunya. And Allah knows best.
All right, does that call affair? It's a lot of good advice.
Um, so our next question, I'm going to pass it on to Rosie hi Mohammed from Plano east.
Um, so this person asked how do you maintain sincerity in your good deeds without other worldly things, motivating you as well?
How do you maintain, maintain sincerity in your good deeds? That's a very good question. multiple things can be done. First and foremost, monitor your heart. Always monitor your heart. Secondly, make dua to Allah Hadith is in Bahati overkill. So they asked the prophets or some about how to meet insincerity. So the Prophet system said, that ask Allah seek Allah's refuge from any type of showing off whether it's hidden or secret. So there's a draw that since I believe you can find in any book of Hadith, any book of law, that in fact the prophets and taught abubaker what to say that over life, seek refuge in You from any showing off that I'm aware of, and ask for forgiveness from any
showing off that I'm unaware of. So you constantly make dua to Allah subhanho wa Taala. And then the final point for this question is that make sure you have plenty of private good deeds as well. This is a very key point, okay. In fact, majority of your good deeds should be private. And that's why it is the prophetic example, that all of the prayers are done privately except for the father in the masjid everything else he would pray for, send him in his house charity as much as possible to give privately do good things if a friend needs help, right? Help them without posting on Instagram and Facebook. Hey, this guy needed a ride and I gave him to No, you don't need to do that. Do it
privately for the sake of Allah? And if you do so this is gonna make you make us shallow to add more and more sincere?
Does I call her I'm gonna pass it across the room to babysit for the next question.
So the question is, how do you ask for sincere forgiveness from someone else and from Allah?
To ask for sincere forgiveness from someone else or from a lot you the question has answered itself. If you are sincere, you will be forgiven. It's as simple as that. And the person you ask from as well will sense sincerity. And even if they say no the first time if you are sincere, that you will be forgiven, simple as that the question has answered itself a law forgives anybody who turns to him sincerely, no questions asked. And no sin is off limits. Allah forgives all sins in the law. yofoto vinoba gemi This isn't the Quran and our prophets, as Sam said, the one who repents from a sin It is as if he has never committed. And he told us that the main condition for Accepting of repentance is
to feel that regret, which is a sincere sense of why did I do this, I shouldn't have done that. That's what the luck with other people. The same applies that if you've done something wrong, you need to be honest, confess, admit, and be sincere and humble. Even if they rebuffed you the first time, wait a few days, wait a while and then come back to them again. And insha Allah, give them a gift do good deeds for them, you know, literally show them I am sorry, how can I make this up to whatever is reasonable? And you know, generally speaking, 99% of the time, if they have any heart in shall loaded, they will forgive if you are sincere.
does not go here. I'm gonna pass it on to zanni. Mom for the next question.
All right, shake. Dr. Guys. Just a quick question how what would you tell people who are struggling with getting the motivation to study?
motivation to study? Whoo, that's a difficult question. Because it's something that deals with psychology more than this deals with Islamic law and Islamic understandings. I would, I would look at my own life in this regard. My own my own my own motivations. So Pinilla for me.
Firstly, when I was in engineering, I chose a career that I was genuinely interested in, I could never imagine choosing a career that I wouldn't be interested in. So choose something that you find fascinating, something that you are genuinely curious. And this is something that many entrepreneurs and many, you know, business leaders and innovative leaders, they say that, you know, don't prioritize money, prioritize passion, and money is going to come, do something that you want to do with your life, do something that you really and genuinely are motivated by, because you don't want to be going to work for the sake of money. You want to work because of whatever factors and money is
going to come. I'm not saying ignore money, but I'm saying never make it your primary motivation because that's really, it's not going to, it's not going to sustain you over and over again. It's just not going to you need to choose a career or a path that you have a genuine desire and curiosity and yes, you can add money as an incentive but not as the money
incentive. Also, for me as well. I mean, it was I mean, again, realize there was a time in my life, I had no clue I would go down the path that I did, I literally had a job at Dow Chemical lined up for me and I had worked there as an intern. And, you know, corporate life was was was calling me it was very, it was very, I was very close to going there. And so for me again, just to move on, back to the previous question of growing up and whatnot, for me, that was my ticket to actually grow up. And it's very true. If you don't have a job, right? You're always going to be under your parents house, you're always going to be a young man that doesn't, is not fully independent. So for me, that
was a motivation that I need to move on, how long am I going to, you know, live under my parents roof and take money from them? And, and, again, I'll be honest, of course, I felt the pressure of their, you know, laws and restrictions on which is human nature. I mean, they had very strict, you know, curfew times and whatnot. And understandably, by the way, this was before the era of cell phones, right? Imagine, you know, so these days, I mean, it's like I did there were no cell phones, there were no way to contact them. There was no even beepers. Do you remember the beeper even be pressed just come up back then. So it's not a long, long time ago, back in the early 90s. My point
being that, for me, that was a motivation, believe it or not, what's wrong with that? It was the motivation to become independent. I had dreams of working corporate america and getting married and starting my family. And why can't that be a motivation is good to have that motivation, as well, of course, I mean, at the time again, this is a different time, but I was thinking as well of doing the masters and MBA or whatnot, and having a career laid out for me. So all of these are motivational factors. Obviously, along with this, you can also add the spiritual component, that it is your responsibility as a young man to start a family to take care of your wife and children. And so how
else are you going to do that, except if you have a career, and roadable hotbar famously remarked that
I'm never impressed at the intelligence of somebody until I see that he has a source of risk, meaning that he has a job or career doesn't matter if somebody's smart and talking. If they're lazy in their life, formidable clifftop said, I'm not impressed with this person, right? That a smart man's talk will not impress me, until I see that he's actually had his life in order. That's what ermanno Maha pub is saying. It's a very powerful statement here, so many ways to motivate you, I guess one of the ways as well as to speak to others in your field to are ahead of you who have achieved some things and get their advice as well. What is to be done? One of the ways, by the way,
I think is very important, is to balance whatever you're doing with other passions and hobbies that you have. So don't make your whole life, you know, just with one thing. For me personally, at the time, definitely MSA was my life really.
My parents would sound more passionate about the MSA than I was about my studies. Maybe there was an element of truth. That's why I ended up where I did, but if I didn't have the MSA, at the time, I don't think I would have been able to do my engineering degree, you know, was something that I needed, I needed to have my network of friends in my, my giving back my giving Dawa on the dollar table. My, you know, I used to give HUD budget 17 so and the MSA was very active with the MSA when I was in campus, and for me, that was my outlet. Some of my best friends actually, my my closest group of friends still were the MSA batch back in the early 90s. So to have something other than just your
your, your studies that you're doing to have that outlet, but to balance to make sure that you don't go to extremes on either side. Maybe I myself went into two extremes. But at hamdulillah I was always a straight A student. So got the good grades as well. And then yes, definitely spent way too much time at the MSA. But that's what shaped me as well. I hope that answers your question. So generic question, I gave you a off the cuff completely unprepared remarks.
Zack LeClaire, I think especially in like, the online format, that most of us are doing school and it's, you know, a lot of it's very difficult for us to find motivation, you know, to study and to, like, actually do schoolwork at times. So the next question, I'm gonna pass it on
this question someone asked is, can a girl live alone with her biological brother?
Lee, the two of them are Muharram. And they are they're allowed to live together and as long as the environment is safe, obviously, the Shetty does. He's very concerned about the safety obviously, of men and women. But let's be honest here. Women, obviously for understandable reasons. There's more crime against them. There's more conditions put on them. But as long as the safe environment and their parents are improving, no problem with that each other.
Should I call her for that. In the interest of time, we're going to be skipping some of the questions on the list. So I'm going to be I'm going to be passing it across the room again, to wait for the next question.
So this question is a little long. It's if Allah loves his creation so much, why did things like the Bosnian genocide and the current Uighur genocide take place? Why would
Do you want us to suffer at all? Yes, they may be rewarded in the afterlife for their troubles in this world. But what if they were good Muslims who are going to be rewarded anyways?
So this question deals with the very, very difficult topic of theodicy. theodicy is explaining the existence of evil.
theodicy is a perennial problem, it goes back to the very beginning of time. And there are thousands and thousands of philosophers and theologians that have attempted to answer this question. Why is there pain and suffering and evil in this world? In a nutshell, there's no simple answer that is that is going to appease a person in two, three minutes. On the contrary, this is a topic that much can be said, and I've actually given longer lectures to Google. How do we explain evil by quality and the existence of evil? So how do you find entire lectures on that? In a nutshell, those who end up denying God because they don't understand evil? which is the default of modern atheism?
Neither did they end up solving the problem of evil, nor do they have questions to the bigger problems of life, which is what why are we here? And what is the purpose of life? In other words, this question is primarily the stepping stone for the rejection of God. Right? Number one reason why, you know,
people like Sam Harris and Stephen Hawking's and Richard Dawkins is the number one reason why they're atheists the number one reason is, they give you a long list of the problems of this world, the, you know, children that are suffering, the tsunami waves this and that. And they say, how could God allow this?
The response to this is twofold in rejecting God, neither did you solve the problem, you still have evil, right? And then number two, you have created an infinitely longer list of problems that you have no answers to, and that is life itself, and the meaning of life and the purpose of life and who created us and how did we get here, whereas what we are positing is that we begin with the paradigm of humility. When Allah announced that he's creating Adam, and Adam was not like the angels, Adam had a sense of free will. Even the angels question Why would you do that over law? Why would you create a creation that's going to kill and cause evil and cause bloodshed? Even the angels as the
basically the same question, Why, what's the wisdom? And Allah subhana wa attallah did not attempt to rationalize to the angels even though the angels are better than us, and smarter than us. Yet Allah did not rationalize, he didn't philosophize, why are there human beings that are going to be creating evil on this earth? Allah subhanho wa Taala simply said, you're going to have to trust me by no things you will never understand in the Alamo mala Tyler moon. So we begin to answer this question with a sense of humility, we might not be able to understand the wisdom of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And then once we begin with that humility, or their wisdoms that are mentioned, yes, there
are, and I have many, many that are mentioned, I'll just mention one of them, or two or three of them, okay, that will stop. Number one, we firmly believe that the potential reality to attain good from any evil situation is more and outweighs the evil itself. The potentiality for good outweighs the actual evil. Number two, Allah does not love the evil, but Allah loves the good that is generated from the evil. Number three, there is indeed a hereafter. And if you're not going to take the hereafter into account, you will never understand that child that was suffering, the pain that was happening to the parents, the tsunami waves, everything. There are blessings that come from that
in the next life. Now, could Allah subhanho wa Taala have done it differently? Yes, he could if he chose not to. I can't question Allah's wisdom. Neither can you. It's not for me to do that. There's a verse in the Quran, he is not question for what he does, rather they will be questioned for what they do, lie use my file for home use. And then the final point that I mentioned, and again, listen to my lectures, the non theist, the atheist,
essentially listen to this carefully demands heaven without doing anything.
Listen to me carefully.
The non theist is irritated that he hasn't been handed heaven on a silver platter, because the world that he's positing actually does exist. The world without suffering, the world without pain, the world of eternal life, the world of bliss, it exists, we call it agenda. And in order to get to Jenna, we firmly believe there's a stepping stone. And that stepping stone is showing how you deal with the pain and suffering of this world. You want that place of no pain and suffering. Then live this world with dignity with faith. And you shall get that world that you desire. But these people they're frustrated and irritated that Allah created them, and then didn't just hand silver platter
Gender to them on a silver platter. And Allah says in the Quran that did you think that gender would come to for free? Do you think you're going to get this blessing for no reason? No. Allah created us with a wisdom and purpose in mind. If we live this life the way that he wants, then we should live with inner peace in this world with eternal bliss in the Hereafter, and listen to my other two lectures online or three lectures, and you'll get more answers than this inshallah.
Alright, just to clarify, so in the interest of time, we're going to be
moving on to the last two questions of the night, and inshallah in the future we're going to be doing more of these programs in chef chef yasir grants us his time in sha Allah. So
with that being said, the next question is question number 31. From zany mom.
All right, she has it. So
I associate Yesica Lee at IKEA the other day and I just didn't know what he bought. I desk, a table, or possibly a chair.
On question, so that was you under the mask, huh? Okay. So people are surprised when they see me shopping. I remember I was at Kroger's once, and the person was just staring at me this pre COVID I was without the mask. Everything is like, and he was you know, share. You should write on Facebook that you go shopping because people don't know is like, Where do you think my groceries come from? heaven. They just fall down? Like, it's like, Yes, I go shopping. Yes, I purchase things for my families. I am a normal human being made of flesh and blood. You can ask our mother he knows.
What did I buy that day? Well, if you want to know, being a bit nosy here, but I guess I was actually buying a printing desk for my daughter. She wanted a printing desk for her printer. So we went to IKEA to purchase a
nice little movable desk. IKEA is great furniture for teenagers. So definitely. And for young couples, definitely. You begin your own when I was doing my PhD. My whole house was IKEA furniture. Okay, but then as you move on, then IKEA becomes for the teenagers. Okay, and you can move on to other types of furniture Alhamdulillah I hope that answers your very useful and needed question and I hope that it'll benefit all of the viewers that hundreds of thousands of people that are watching are going to benefit and take notes and make a note of that inshallah.
I might have been the most profound of the whole night.
But the final question, I'm gonna pass it on to a mark as he wants more to closes off as Question number 33.
I think okay. It says is a question about I think it's the middle fashion question it says are fade haircuts allowed and is wearing chain necklaces and rings around. Okay, my we need to have a talk now. This is going too far. Every single question. Okay.
Oh, gold necklaces. What is going through Yama? Okay. Chain necklaces? Oh, not gold. Okay. Still.
Ouch. Subhan Allah Jamar, I don't want you to wear necklaces that having been said,
Because see, here's the point Every family has the right to negotiate right every single family has the right to discuss this and have its own rules. I don't want my sons wearing necklaces. from a purely filthy perspective.
The Prophet salallahu it he was seldom did not allow men to act effeminately or dress effeminately nor did he allow women to act or dress masculine. This is authentic. And in fact, he invoked the curse of a lot on such people. Now that's the generic ruling. The nitty gritty is where the controversy occurs. Who gets to define what is a feminine and what is masculine right that's the 50 per perspective who gets to define you know that which is a feminine that which is masculine, and the responses it is culture, unless the [???]ty I defines it. For example, the Shetty has defined two things as being effeminate for sure. Right? What are they number one silk and number two gold. The
Prophet says and picked up silk and gold. And he said these two are for the women of my own. And they're not for the men of my own. So their Shetty has defined End of story. Okay, any gold chain or gold ring or gold necklace or anything that is pure gold obviously we're talking about is not allowed for men to wear anything that is made out of silk or majority silk. I have a whole fight about ties you could listen to that I'm talking about a silk shirt ties or head, silk shirt or a silk jacket or a silk pant or even a silk pajama doesn't matter if you're alone doesn't matter if you're alone You don't worry
Gold. So the Sharia has made that effeminate Okay, what if the Shetty hasn't made it if it feminine, but the culture has made it a feminine in this case, we follow the culture because one of the principles of fifth is that where the shediac is silent cultural play a role. This is one of the Maxim's of Phyllis called coherence fealty, one of the principles of the Maxim's of filk says a lot of mahakam that that which is the culture is going to play a role where the shedding is silent. So the simple example I'll give you many examples, okay, give me an example of a simple example. Allah says to be kind to your parents, and Allah says, Don't be rude to your parents, okay? In one
culture, when I was growing up, it was rude to sit with your feet facing your mother and father. in that culture, it would be haraam to sit in a living room, and you intentionally put your feet towards your mother and father, because a lot has made it harder to be rude. And the culture says if you sit with your feet that way, it is rude. Okay, that notion is by and large, not known in the West. So if a convert or if a person of this culture, you know, who's embraced Islam were to then do that, we will say that's not how long for them not to talk because they're, it's not it's not something that they know to be rude. So, there is an element of culture manifesting with the
shehryar has come as a generic rule, what is the generic rule men should act like men and women should not act like women, okay. Therefore, certain things are very clear. Okay, for example, wearing skirts, generally speaking to this day, no respectable you can always point to that one exception that proves the rule. How do you know the rule, the rule is respectable members of society the rule is people that are considered to be the the Paragons of virtue people that the culture looks at looks up to as being basically embodiments of, you know, who they represent, you will not find a person of repute, who is male, you know, dressing in a skirt or in a blouse, it doesn't
happen, and vice versa, as well, that there are certain things that are considered to be masculine. Now, the problem comes the question that you asked me, the problem comes that there are always transitional phases. And there are things that in one era are clearly not feminine. In another era, they become feminine in one era or not masculine in another area, they become masculine. And there's this interim in the middle. And the classic example for this, for example, is earrings. Okay, earrings, that when I was growing up, I remember Believe it or not the 70s I'm actually that old, I remember the 70s. I grew up in the 80s. And I came to age in the 90s. Right? When I was growing up,
growing up, men did not wear earrings at all, it was just not done. It began in the late 80s amongst the rap culture, okay. And people that obviously in the entertainment industry, so they started doing this slowly, but surely, it's spread to other people as well. But still, generally speaking, you don't find let's say, a mainstream politician, okay. Or, generally speaking a reputable CEO of a, you know, s&p 500 company, generally, of course, you find the odd exception. But generally speaking, there's something that is considered to be dignified. For example, tattoos on the face. Although tattoos are hot, I'm I'm just giving an example. It's not considered to be dignified even
for the culture that we live in. Even if they do a tattoo for the culture that they've been, they do it on their arms and legs that is that is hidden. For example, by the way tattoos, of course, we don't consider them to be permissible in the first place. My point is cultural notions here. So
if somebody were to say, but these days to wear a certain type of earring is considered masculine in some subcultures, they might have a point. I'm not even saying that they might have a point, which is why it's a gray area, and which is why as well, that we as Muslims should strive to maintain a dignified presence. We don't imitate people who subcultures don't exude dignity. And generally speaking, the types of people who are dressing in these types of manners, their
lifestyle, in terms of drugs, in terms of alcohol, in terms of gender relations, in terms of what they're promoting, is not something that is Islamic. So the shediac does not want us to imitate people of ill repute. The shady eye does not want us to imitate people of the other gender, the [???]ty eye has no ability, right? The prophets are some was a noble person. So what you're asking about is a gray area. I can see some people saying that wearing a generic necklace is now considered masculine. I can see that which is why I am not saying it is how long I can see some people making that argument that argument would not have been made 3040 years ago, by the way it would not have
been made men
Another 3040 years, it would be the norm. In some cultures in. In Africa, men do wear necklaces. And women wear necklaces. By the way, even in those cultures, by the way, the necklaces that men wear are markedly different, you can tell you can look at them and recognize this is a man's necklace. And another one would be a woman's necklace. So even they, they have differences between the two. in that culture, if one of them were to embrace Islam, we're not going to tell him Islam requires you to get rid of your masculine necklace, because in his culture, that necklace is masculine. Okay. But in the culture that we're currently living in, which is North American culture, it's an ongoing
process, there's an organic change taking place. And Allah knows, maybe in 30 years, 40 years less or more, all men will be wearing a certain type of necklace, right? When that happens at that stage, clearly, it would not be sinful or even makrooh, for a man to wear that type of necklace, because that's the norm. However, as we speak, in the years 2020, it is not the norm. Nor is it something that generally speaking, people of repute, do. Also the fact that you are my son, and I have some privilege over you has a role to play as well. And I don't want my children to go down this path. And therefore, again, and I'm very frank here, not everything that I'm not going to learn from my
children, we can say is how long I'm going to be very clear here. You know, my son knows this that, you know, I have certain standards, and I'm not enforcing it. Anybody else. So me personally, I do not want my children to or my sons because you're asking about a man doing this to do this.
But to use the word how Tom is not something I'm going to do, I'm going to say the least that can be said is that you're opening up a door that is better to be shut at this stage. And I would not want men to start wearing jewelry that is still somewhat effeminate, even as if I even though understand that. It is now the norm in some subcultures not all because again, it's not the default. I mean, the example is a watch, right? Every man wears a watch nobody considered to be a feminist. Believe it or not. 100 years ago, it was considered to be effeminate. 100 years ago, men had watches you'd pull out of your pocket. The pocket watch was the masculine one, okay? And it was not considered to
be not only by the way this is history should always show I'm teaching you this, this became fashionable to wear only after World War One Pilots, believe it or not, okay, after World War One Pilots started wearing wristwatches. And of course pilots are always pilots, right? So there's always this this aura and this romanticism given to them. So then men started wearing wristwatches otherwise pre World War One, no man, there was no such thing as a wristwatch for a man who was considered to be a decorative piece that only women wore slowly, but surely more men began to work until now it is a part and parcel of our culture. And there are men's wristwatches and you know, I
have some wristwatches you have some wristwatches we all do right? And there are women's with stretches. As I said, we have to be clear here the Shetty does not forbid an item to shoot every visit concept and the concept men should act like men and women should like like women. I hope that inshallah that answers the generic question and me and more than answers the specific question as well and shall bow down.
here that was our last question. So first off, I want to thank all of our MSA leaders for joining us today and for relaying the questions from all of the students from our respective MSA groups. And next, I would like to thank once more who stopped maraud for for the introductions and everything regarding this program. And finally, I would like to especially thank once again Shafi also quality for joining us today and for answering all of our all of our questions and concerns. So
I shall I hope that you will give us more time in the future
you know for for
your giving my other son use have to ask some other awkward questions or something is like a family counseling therapy that's also doubling in I'm just kidding. inshallah definitely will have some more sessions inshallah Tada, and it was my pleasure and I hope inshallah as well that we can increase the number of MSA participations as well and make this something that more and more people can benefit from Jazakallah fer for having me was set on Monday. Rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh