Is a Zoom Wedding Allowed in Islam Rapid Fire Q&A
Channel: Yasir Qadhi
Series: Yasir Qadhi - Ask Shaykh YQ
File Size: 54.55MB
Episode Transcript ©
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said I wanted from Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah who Allah Allah, He will be the woman while Muhammad. Today is a regular Tuesday session of q&a. And I thought that because I'm getting overwhelmed with the number of questions that inshallah today I'll do something different. Let's call it a Rapid Round. Let's try to do as many questions as we can, rather than doing 2030 minutes per question, let's just do you know, three to five minutes per question and get more done. Obviously, that comes at the cost of not going into the details of the differences of opinion, etcetera, etcetera. So, I think inshallah we'll do this variety every once
in a while. And by the way, a lot of you are asking how to send in questions to me, the address is ask y q at Epic Masjid dot o RG once again, ask a SK y q, my initials y Q. At Epic Masjid one word epic Masjid dot o RG. And of course, please do understand I get inundated with hundreds of emails, I try to choose that which will be the most generic and beneficial specific questions that you have about very specific issues about the inheritance or, you know, husband and wife counseling. I cannot answer that, try to ask questions that I can answer publicly because I do not I'm not able to answer privately on that email, I simply take and then answer in this manner over here. So inshallah today
as we said, we're going to do as many questions as possible. So let us begin, brothers Sayed from London, is asking about getting married over Skype or zoom. Is it permissible or not? And so, the question arises, therefore, that not just because of the pandemic, let's say, in any situation, circumstances that can Nica take place, virtually, can the groom be sitting somewhere and the bride be sitting somewhere else, and the Nikka has taking place, you know, via video conferencing call any mechanism, whether it's zoom, whether it's FaceTime, whatever it is, or even via phone call, even is it possible or not. Now, I'm aware that there are opinions out there, but again, this is the rapid
fire, so we're going to be doing one opinion only. It is in sha Allah to add a permissible to engage in a Nikka online or via social media, you know, apps or via telephone, with the condition with the condition that there are enough circumstantial evidences to kind of basically identify with certainty, the bride and the groom, and the witnesses and the Willie. So the problem that some aroma they raised is that how do we know it is actually what if it's some type of fraud or something of this nature. And of course, I mean, that might be valid, but if the entire families are involved, for example, right, and everybody's looking forward to that day, and the bride's parents or the
groom's parents, and, you know, everybody's knowing that it's taking place, then the chances of fraud are basically eliminated to the degree as if it was in one room, therefore, as long as the identities are in some fashion guaranteed, and as I said, this doesn't have to be a circumstantial evidence, the context is good enough. So if both families are involved, and again, you know, the bride is getting ready in her household, the groom's getting ready, and the worry is known, everybody can have the nugget online, and it is not a condition of Nikka that the husband and wife to be are in the same vicinity, you can conduct the nigga, you know, in different places, the woody
Of course, the actual Nikka contract should be between the Willie and between the groom. And, you know, that day that can be done online that can be done via any type of social media platform in which immediate back and forth can take place. And as long as the identities are vetted and confirmed. Now, the only case again will be problematic if for example, you know, the the two individuals were corresponding online had never met and you notice there's there's a visa issue because there are cases where there's visa fraud or somebody pretends to be somebody else and just to get the money or this the visa, that's where I can understand some of our scholars are hesitant
that you don't want to do in the gap. And you don't even know that that other person is real, the identity is real. So that's why in such circumstances I can definitely say that reasonable precautions should be taken somebody like from whichever side is doubtful should send an actual physical person in that city to make sure the family the family, whoever is basically living flesh and blood, they are who they say they are in everything is legit. Otherwise insha Allah to Allah it is completely permissible and Allah subhanho wa Taala knows best. Our next question, brother said jawed from Dhaka, Bangladesh
she emails us and he says that he has a close non Muslim friend or colleague. And another friend of his Muslim friend said that the Quran forbids friendship between Muslims and non Muslims based on the verse in the Quran that do not take Jews and Christians as Olia. Now this question I have answered in a lot more detail in other lectures. But again, this needs to be said very explicitly. This is a complete misunderstanding of the verse, Allah says in the Quran, that do not take the hood and then the surah as Oh, Leah, the two of them are earlier to each other. And unfortunately, some translators translate this as do not take the hood and the Nosara as friends. And therefore, some
people misunderstand that a Muslim cannot be a friend to a non Muslim. And this of course contradicts the explicit Quran. The authentic sunnah, it contradicts common sense and human reason and emotions. And it contradicts the lived reality of Islam for the last 14 centuries. Anybody who says this truly has cut off from the Quran and the Sunnah, and the Syrah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and the lies of the Sahaba and the entire lived human history. And they bring forth an interpretation that has absolutely no basis whatsoever. Of course, you can be friends with anybody, who will of course, be a positive influence on you. Obviously, anybody who has a negative
influence on you, whether they're Muslim or non Muslim, you should be wary of forming strong bonds. And of course, acquaintances are beyond your control colleagues are beyond your control, but a proper you know, you go to their house, they come to your house of friendship, there is no question that birds of a feather flock together shall we should try our best to form the best bonds with the people that will influence us positively, whoever they may be, and no question. The righteous, you know, the people who are the righteous worshipers and they are avoiding the major sins, and they're having good lifestyles, no doubt that is the best for us. But to be a friend to a person of another
faith, of course, this is permissible. Allah subhanho wa Taala explicitly mentioned in the Quran, lie and how Kamala who Annina didn't let me call for Dini, while I'm Johanna DuCommun, Dr. They come into a room with an terbaru Hamato cassuto Lay him that Allah is not stopping you from having beer. And beer is the highest level of friendship of loyalty, the highest level of servitude is bid, the parents are shown bid. And Allah says, I'm not telling you that you cannot show bid to non Muslims, much less being just with them. And again, as I mentioned in the many lectures, the word piste and the word bid are the lowest to the highest in terms of a friendship or a relationship. Chris is the
very lowest level you tit for tat if they're good to you're good to them. So that's just and then bid is the highest level, which is what you show to your mother, that's a bid. And Allah says this entire spectrum, I'm not telling you that it is haram to to do that to a non Muslim, unless that person is persecuting you, that person is wanting to kill you, that person is hating you for your religion. Obviously, if that is the case, then how can you be friends with somebody, you know, friends, meaning not just acquaintances or calling but friends with somebody who is, you know, making fun of your religion making fun of you, that doesn't make any sense. It's really a sign of a
huge inferiority complex. So what does the verse mean? Again, the verse as a whole, it means that people who are religious people of one faith tradition will not be able to find protection, military protection, especially political protection, community to community, we're not talking about individual to individual, we're talking about a faith based community, at times of crises at times of strife, they need to be very careful in assuming that other communities will have their best interest and their best, you know, long term goals at heart. Because in the end of the day, every community is concerned about itself, and especially a community that is proselytizing, that wants
people to embrace his faith. I mean, we're the same, we want people to embrace our faith. And therefore, if other faith communities are brought in at times of conflict, they're going to have some conditions, they're going to put whatever. And so at this point in time, one needs to be very, very careful in this regard. And of course, by the way, even then, what we're talking about is the Ummah as a whole or groups of the Ummah or segments of the Ummah, thinking that their best interest lies in turning away from the help from the OMA and getting political and military aid from those outside without understanding the repercussions sometimes they understand the repercussions and they
think that it is you know not you know, you're the it's lesser of two evils. And this is something that hadith allows in Sahih Muslim, our Prophet sallallahu sallam said towards the end of the of the end of times that you and the Romans meaning Western civilization are going to form an alliance against
third enemy against a third party and you will fight them and you will defeat them. The fact that the promises are mentioned this is an indication it is halal. So not even so not even every single seeking of protection and aid and treaties is not allowed. So again, this verse has been overly simplified to the point of it becoming nonsensical by this, this ridiculous interpretation that a Muslim cannot be friends with somebody of another faith, what it means is that you need to be extra careful as a community to assume that any other community is going to come you know, without any strings attached his without any type of no every community, every nation state, every faith based
community, when it comes in with military help, political help, is going to have certain you know, conditions or whatnot and you need to be wary of that. And so don't think ever, that you should cut off ties with Allah with Allah and His Messenger or with the Muslim ummah completely, as I said, at times, and throughout Islamic history, this has happened that you have to get help you know, for another for against another third enemy and even on on an individual level, this is not forbidden. So for example, I mean, you cannot work for a non Muslim company, of course, you can, or you cannot hire a non Muslim I mean, the prophets ism hired, you know, Abdullah
to be the guide all the way to Medina. And as well, I mean, the the issue of friendship and your prophecies and loved his uncle Otalia are mutable. hotrod had a mushrik, a pagan brother, who would visit him he would visit him and the Sahaba had a number of friends, this is authentically thought that they would interact with people who are outside the faith and lived history of Islam. I mean, never has there been a Muslim society, except that there were non Muslims within it. And they're forming friendships and business partnerships and, and doing whatever with the Muslim community. And therefore we have to be careful of not misinterpreting the Quran. It is, frankly, it is ludicrous to
assert that the Quran is saying that you cannot have friends, just casual friends outside of the faith tradition. I hope that inshallah that question has been answered.
The next question that we have brother Muneeb. And frankly, I'm reading brother Munoz question but this question has been asked by half a dozen people in the last few weeks, is saying that during the lockdown in order to entertain the children to pass the time, he and his family are playing board games. And sometimes those games involve dice. And he says he has come across a fatwa. He mentioned the website name, but we shall not mention it is a very popular website that answers q&a about Islam. And my advice or suggestion is that it might have some good, but really, people should stick with the scholars who have their own lands or countries, even if it's not any better. Find people
within your own locality and ask them sometimes these websites are based from one land. And there's a lot of cultural connotation that is not suitable for other lands. Nonetheless, he is saying he found a fatwa from this particular website that is saying that it is haram to play board games with one's family that have dice in them. Because there's a hadith that forbids does. So he's asking this question. So this response, and again, I remind the viewers that this is the shortened version, I know that this is going to as usual be you're going to have reputations and people are going to have other opinions. But this is the reality of fake SubhanAllah. I'm not the first to say what I'm about
to say. Nonetheless, this is the shortened response. Yes, there is a Hadith that forbids something called under the sheave. That the Prophet systems that hadith is assigned Muslim, whoever plays with none of the shear it is as if he has dipped his hands in pig's blood and in pigs flesh. Okay, so this is a Hadith that is very explicit. Now. There's a number of issues involved over here, what exactly is none of the shield? And is it applicable to the game or to the dice because again, the issue comes, how do you interpret this word here, the word noted this year is a Persian word and it is actually a reference to the game that has now evolved into backgammon. There is a rudimentary
version of backgammon back then, that the Persians had invented, none of the sheath is a Persian word, and they had this game of backgammon that they would gamble with and so backgammon to this day it is sometimes played as something that people you know, bet their money on and the winner basically, you know, takes takes it all. So none of this shield primarily applies to backup and now there are some versions or some reports that might reference the dice as well. But the more authentic versions I Muslim says no to the sheet, and none of the sheet is primarily applied for the game of backgammon. Now, some have said that the prohibition is to the dice itself and there is some
basis that how do you separate the game it is all put together, as well. There are some reports about the game of chess now there is no
I think authentic from the prophecies about chess
shatranj. But there are a number of reports from the Sahaba and Tabby rune that, that some of them disapproved of chess somewhat rather harshly. And it is also reported, by the way that some of them did not disapprove of chess. If you look up sooner by healthy one of the great books of Hadith, there is an entire chapter about what people have said regarding chess, and you will find a number of reports that are very harsh. I've never thought of for example, he he basically said, I wish I could throw this board game onto your face. Have you been created to do this? He found a group of people all playing chess, basically surrounding a match and what that he became irritated with the
other one. And so you have some very strict, you know, statements from the Sahaba and Tabby rune. But you also have on the other side some of the tab your own and tab, a tab your own, whom it is authentically narrated, that they would actually play chess and have them Imam Shafi Rahim Allah Allah, He says, Muhammad ibn CD in and he sham Ibn Ottawa, they would play chess, you know, in private means it's not something they will publicize. It's not something you do in front of everybody but any bit with your family or in the privacy of the room, and they will just go in, you know, just a little bit of time to pass to play chess and even Abdullah bar. He says in his time
here, that it is reported by a crema and a shabby, that they would play with the knowledge and say diplomacy, he was asked about playing with the knot this year. And say the minimal save the great great Tabori, the famous February he said, If there is no money or gambling involved, then there is no problem with it. Now, these are some reports from these great top your own integrity of your own, I want you to know, this is my short response, I'm not going to detail, you will find more reports from the Sahaba turbo turbo turbo that are disapproving. So there's no question I'm not trying to hide that. But you want to response I'm going to give you a simple response, you will find the
longer list of people who disliked it. But these are great scholars who basically said it's okay with certain conditions. And the position that I'm advocating is that we need to be a little bit more pragmatic and take a look at the broader picture. Those respected and greater Aloma, some of them are my teachers, and I respect them immensely. Those that say that all types of games and cards and board games and dice and everything is haram. I fully understand I fully sympathize, because in their minds, they want the OMA to reach the highest level. And the fact of the matter is it to the Allahu Anhu said, Well, you created to do this no, you we're not created to spend hours and hours,
you know, playing board games and doing chess and whatnot, we have a higher purpose. But when you look at the status of the Ummah, this is something that the books have feel called the Anima Tombigbee hillbilly word that everybody is doing it now everyone is doing it. So for us to adopt the strict disposition essentially means nobody cares what we say. And then it's as if you are speaking to a wall because you can say whatever you want, and with my utmost respect the very people who are giving this fatwa I am, you know, because I know the reality is their own families, their own children, maybe even they themselves cannot live up to this fatwa perfectly. And when that is the
case, then really, you need to take a step back, because the Sharia is never going to be impractical to Shetty as always applied. And if this is the case, and you also realize that we are living at a time in a place where, again, let us be frank here, there are far bigger problems that are where children, then them sitting down to play a board game than them sitting down to play chess, the stuff that they're watching on television or with the biller, the Netflix that they're watching, or with the biller, the online entertainment and the whatever, tick tock all of these things out there, right. And so you're going to come and say, Oh, if a father and mother and the children sit down,
and they play Ludo or they play you know, you know cards, or they play a game of chess or whatever, amongst themselves just to pass the time that that is haram and forbidden and sinful in the eyes of Allah. There is no evidence from the Quran and Sunnah to make that sinful at all. Yes, there is a Hadith that talks about backgammon. But the question is, is the prohibition because of the gambling? Which is what I am saying with these to have your own set? Or is it just any type of board game in any type of game involving dice and what not? And if you look at it, really,
it is very, to me at least it is very obvious that the first word that we need to give to the people is that look, there is no question. So I'm being precise here. So pay attention to this. There is no question that we have a higher purpose in life than just to spend hours and hours playing video games, or watching TV or doing something of this nature. And not all of these things I mentioned are at the same level, some of them are sinful in what we see or what we hear
Some of them are, you know MOBA permissible, but the MOBA which is permissible when it is done too much, it becomes mcru. And when it leads to haram, it becomes haram. Right? So even the MOBA, it is like salt, you add it to the food. And so my position the fatwa I'm going to give you is that all of these board games and chess and the dice that is used for non gambling as for gambling by unanimous consensus when you put money, and there are people that are we're talking real money, monopoly is not real money, right? So we're talking about when you put money, and people are betting, and they have games and whatnot, there is no question that any type of game that involves money, actual
money, and is based upon the luck of the draw, or the luck of the cards, or the luck of the dice, that is absolutely haram, there should be no two opinions about that. As for when there is no gambling involved, then my suggestion, my advice is that family should understand that indeed, we do have a higher purpose, and that we have a problem across the board of wasting too much time in entertainment, and movies, and all that we do. So it's not just dead, the dice and the games, it is overall, we are killing time, and we have not been created to kill time, we have been created to be productive with our time. Nonetheless, if somebody you know, you cannot continuously 24 hours a day,
do something that is absolutely productive, the mind needs to take a break, the body needs to take a break your children cannot be expected to be you know, constantly you you're going to they're going to play they're going to do what they're going to do. And therefore, if we use this like salt just a little bit once in a while, and we sit down. And for the adults, especially for the parents, especially my advice to you all is when you sit down with your children to play these games, your knee should be not the game, but family time, your Nia should be that I want to come closer to my children, my spouse, my my kids, I want to teach them manners, what should you say? What should you
do? Even as you play a game? Right, you can bring in some benefits and fava you know, rather than using vulgarities, you know, say something beneficial, remind them of their past their heritage, your family history, you know, teach them something that is beneficial even in some of this dunya. So the goal should not be the game. The goal should be quality time with the family. And the game is an excuse for the kids to come because they don't want to listen to you or they don't want to do so the goal is basically and when you make it that near insha Allah hotel, I actually think it's not only just MOBA, you might even be rewarded if you actually intend to do something productive and
useful with your family teach them something of benefit than as you sit down with them and you play a board game or whatnot in Charlotte might even be an act of worship at the very least we can say it is MOBA. But a number of points first and foremost, this should not take up the most of your time or day. And as you grow older, you need to cut back and I speak now especially to the young men or young men in college, you need to stop playing your ps4 is and X boxes, you know 10 hours a day that's not going to benefit you you're no longer five years old or 10 years old when you get to your 30s What are you doing half the time playing this game? No, definitely at that stage you need to cut
back and be reasonable I understand a little bit of all of us need a bit of a break. We all have different breaks some people take breaks reading esoteric books of history with us besides the point. Some people like to take these types of breaks I understand it's it is in and of itself MOBA but do not make it a bulk of your time what is reasonable, it varies from person to person, as well. Make sure that you do not do anything haram within because there are some board and board games where maybe there are some but there are some video games that have vulgarities in them. Or where you're expected to. To do blatant haram and parents. Parents it is your job to so here's the point
those people who say It's haram to play board games, okay, you say that what are the kids going to do? The parents think is haram, no child is going to listen to this fatwa. They're going to be in the rooms watching their tiktoks you know doing their, their their, you know ps4 games and whatnot. And so again, isn't it better to take the children out of their private bedrooms, bring them to the living room with parents, and instead of them watching what they shouldn't do instead of them playing games where the characters are doing things that are indecent or violent or gory because that's the alternative, right? The parents are going to be following the facts away up there. The
children not going to be doing that. So as you're aware, if you listen to me, I don't believe in abstract fatwas fatwas have to benefit the OMA we have to teach and preach at the level of the OMA and to make haram these types of things. I really think that it is harmful to the Ummah to be this strict. I understand if we're talking to a group of mashallah, who fall in the madrasa full time students of Islamic for sure for them we can be a little bit stricter and say Hey, guys, you know, why are you You know, you know, doing
Have something of this nature prove any, do something more productive don't spend hours and hours, but to give a blanket for to have this nature that it is how long all types of board games are all types of, you know, amusements or haram. No, it is like salt, you do it a little bit. And the goal should be family time, the knee should be spending quality time and also playing a board game with the children is infinitely better than the children being in the rooms and doing the games or watching the movies that they should not be doing. So it is better to do this. It is definitely the lesser of the two evils. And therefore insha Allah hooter, Allah, there is no sin on you whatsoever
if these conditions are met. And again, as the kids grow older, also try to do this less and less and do something more productive, more and more at Allah subhanho wa Taala knows best.
The next question I had to ask it, I found it a bit amusing. And also because I myself am a bit of a foodie. So I had to ask this guy asked this question as well. So our brother is how from Minnesota emails us? And he says is Wagyu beef Halal Wagyu beef halal? Is it halal? Because he said, The cows are fed beer? This is what the question says. Okay. Now, the response to this, my dear brother is how, please do your research all of you whenever you ask or want to do anything, do your research find out what exactly is the issue. And I found this very amusing, because it is a common myth. Firstly, for those of you who do not know, what is wagyu. So wagyu refers to a particular meat that
comes from a particular type of cow that is primarily based in Japan. But obviously since it has become popular, that it has been imported, or exported to other places in the world. So it refers to a type of steak that is coming from a specific type of cow. And wagyu is very, very prized as is perhaps the most expensive steak in the world, or one of the most because of the unique marbling of the fat and the meat that is intertwined, you know, in a way that is not found in other types of cows and Kobe as well as a type of wagyu. And so wagyu is one of the most exotic, if not the most exotic type of steak. And there is a rumor it is a rumor that one of the reasons why wagyu is so
expensive, is because they feed beer to the cows. And firstly, I asked you without even Googling, do you really think they're going to give beer to the cow? Do you really think they're going to make the cows? Can you tipsy and just feed them beer? I mean,
along with Stan No, they're not going to do this. It's not this is a common misconception about wagyu. wagyu is expensive for many reasons.
One of them being supply and demand. I mean Subhanallah when when people want something the prices are going to go it's as simple as that really essentially wagyu the cow is not any more or less expensive, inherently. It's just like any anything that people want. Let me give an example. I draw dates in Medina, right Iowa dates, it costs the exact same amount of money to plant Iowa than it does to plant all the other dates. Okay? It costs the same amount of effort to harvest Iowa than it is all of the other dates. And yet I do a sells for five times the price of regular dates. Why? Because supply and demand is simple as that people wanted how fast we can overcharge. That's the
reality of economics. I mean, it's like, you know, Adam Smith, I mean, that's the reality of economics anyway. So why are you is expensive, not because of the beer. Okay, now, what if the cows had ingested something haram? Our scholars say. So I wanted to actually answer this question, because it's actually not just as humorous, but we can answer it in a more academic manner as well. A little bit of an adjuster that is swallowed by the animals. This is overlooked by unanimous consensus of all the scholars of Islam. Nobody says otherwise. Anybody who says otherwise, frankly, has never been around animals. Do you really expect that a chicken or a cow is going to be eating a
no Neches is going to come in its food? No, obviously, if you're a Muslim farmer, it is haram to give nudges to the animals, if they eat it on their own, without you giving to them, that a little little amount is overlooked. However, if an amount is given, that affects the quality of the meat, I'm just saying theoretically wagyu is not of this nature, if the amount is given of nurtures product that affects the animal, the taste, the smell the color of the animal, then in this case, it is Makrooh to sacrifice that animal and eat it and you should leave the animal for a number of days until it becomes pure. So you do not feed the animal anything they just and this is again if you
were to have power over if you were the farmer in this case, but otherwise, a little bit of an adjustment would be overlooked in any case. So that answers the question that Wagyu beef is definitely halal, of course, in my opinion has to be the
be hot or kosher as well. So you cannot use by any. But I have to conclude this question with a very, very important disclaimer. Beef aside, when it comes to cooking the steak there is really only one mishap that is acceptable. All other med herbs were going to be soundly refuted. And they are about to there is one metal hub for cooking steaks. And that is medium rare. Please make a note of this. And this is the color roger that all the evidences are around this position. Obviously that is a joke in shot alota or is it? I don't know. In any case, the next question we have
sister fat is from Toronto. She emails and she says that? What are the clear signs that a woman's cycle is over such that she should resume praying? She is confused about this issue? The response? So the fear of menstruation is a very, very long class. Frankly, it is one of the most confusing chapters to all those who study it, but I will give you a short and simple answer.
If a lady has regular menses, if a lady has regular menses, ie, she has a habit that she knows, roughly so many days, she's going to be without menses. 2728 29 Whatever. 26. And she has a rough idea what are two days but Mercia is wrecked, she has a regular cycle, and then five or six or seven days and again, roughly plus or minus a day or two is well known that everybody every average lady goes through. But overall there is a rough cycle that she knows what it is. I'll answer this question. If she has a regular cycle. If she does not, then I'm not going to answer it because I'll have to go to footwork for a specific photo for sure. For her situation. If she has a regular cycle,
one of two signs is what she needs. If either of these signs is met, she should do the hustle. And she should resume prayer. So a lady that has a regular cycle that is roughly similar every single month, either she finishes her menses when she sees the whitish discharge on her pad, and all the ladies that have regular cycles know what this is. So when that whitish discharge comes out, and it is visible on the pad, once that is seen, then she may assume that anything after that is irrelevant. There might be traces of blood that will come there might be a drop or two that will come. But once that white is discharged has come, she should do the hosel. And she should start
praying immediately. This is the primary sign. Now suppose she missed it. She didn't see it. She didn't know what happened. And her regular days go by suppose she has it for six days. And on the sixth day, she's waiting, waiting, waiting, that does nothing happens. You know, she wakes up the morning of the seventh still no discharge and she does not have her period for more than seven days ever. Right? So six days is your max, let's say generally speaking, so on the seventh day or basically anyone her regular cycle finishes, she knows I just give it just give an example 567 Whatever it is, she may insert a pure cotton for example, or tissue or something into her area and
then check are there any dots? Are there any spots is there any blood or not. And if there is nothing if she takes it out, and it is basically clean without any reddish or pinkish discharge, in this case, her area is clean, she may assume that that is the equivalent of the widest discharge and she made them do her hosel and start to prayer. And if it so happens that the widest discharge comes in 12 hours and she's done some solar you know no problem. Okay, she made initially had and whatnot and she should then keep in mind that the next time her cycle doesn't have the widest issue, she should wait a little bit extra, but the first time it happens, you know second time it happens no
worries, she may follow her regular cycle so that she is consistent in this regard. So these are the two primary factors that demonstrate that the monthly menses have finished number one the whitish discharge number two in case there is no discharge for that particular timeframe and her timeframe finishes she may then check by inserting a tissue or a cotton swab and then taking it out and making sure that there is no trace of blood and so if it is clean, if her area is clean, then she may do so and resume praying now suppose she does not have a regular cycle. In this case the answer is much more longer and she should go to a qualified che ora che ha and ask about her specific scenario to
get her answer. And Allah azza wa jal knows best.
sister, Zainab from London, sending a very long detailed question. Very specific. I'm going to I do not answer by the way specific questions so please understand brothers and sisters, but I will sometimes take his question like this. Cut off a lot of the information and ask a generic question so that other people can benefit from
Please understand I do not answer specific questions online. And definitely not on on this YouTube. But sister Xena asks a question I will summarize it that
she wants to marry a particular brother they met on campus. They they have feelings for each other, but they haven't done anything wrong. They're keeping themselves pure for marriage. But as is usually the case, the father is objecting and saying no, he's not going to allow this particular person to marry his daughter. And she is feeling that his objections are unreasonable. And so does she need she's an adult she's she's legally the land that she lives in in London, she can marry this brother legally, in terms of the British law. And so she's saying that if she is certain that his conditions are unreasonable, may she go ahead with this marriage? The response that brothers and
sisters understand that the Sharia has placed a woody for a very simple reason. And that is to protect the interests of the lady. And I understand that some people think this is paternalistic. Some people think this is misogynistic, some people think whatever. But at the end of the day, the Sharia is very clear on this point. And this is the position of the vast majority of Roma. And frankly, it is basic human psychology that a young lady who has never experienced men never experienced any marriage, any long term relationship with another man can be taken advantage of because not because she's naive, is because she's innocent, and men are not innocent. So rather than
looking at it as a negative, we should look at it as a very different way that the shady has actually impugning men and the nature of men. And the shady are saying that, look, we're not to certain any man that might be interested in a lady who doesn't have experience and that's why do your brothers and sisters. The Sharia has a different ruling on widows and on divorcees, widows and divorcees, once you've been married to a man once you know, male psychology. At this stage, the woody becomes a token a rubber stamp like the what he does not have veto power. Once a woman understands the psychology of a man insha Allah Jota either she will not be insha Allah she will not
be any fool that easily. I mean, anybody can be fooled man or woman. But once she has never lived with a man known a man, and she has never been married before, the Sharia views a woman as being too pure and too innocent, and a wolf in sheep's clothing might want to take advantage of her. And that is why the Woody is placed as and that's literally what a what he means a guardian, what does a guardian do? A guardian protects a guardian, make sure that whatever is going to happen will be in the best interest of the of the young lady. And that is why the Shetty insists this in the majority opinion, of course, one might hope does not but of course, the majority and the Hadith mentioned
that there should be a a woody Now, what if the well, he is being unreasonable. In this case, if you're living in an Islamic land, or in an ideal situation, you would go to an Islamic court you would petition you would say my father is being unjust, he is denying somebody's hand that I think it is unfair. And so a third party, a neutral party will look and we'll examine who is really the more appropriate, you know, plaintiff, plaintiff, or the the accusing or the defendant who's more right is there. And in that case, it is possible that the judge will rule that okay, the father is Wilaya is taken away because he's being unreasonable for whatever reason. However, we are generally
speaking in the sisters in London, we are not in such a situation. Therefore in this situation, what I advise the sister is that she should go to a shareholder, an imam or a scholar who has experienced in these issues, not just anybody because again, this is one of our problems is that not anybody who has graduated from a madrasa becomes qualified to do everything, go to a senior person of age and wisdom and experience of community service whose reputation is known. And another point you might be shocked that I say this, but go to somebody of your own culture, I think this is a very important point as well. Because one's own culture, there are cultural nuances when it comes to this issue of
Wilaya that people outside the culture will not understand. Go to somebody in your locality of experience and wisdom and age and somebody of your own background and culture so that that person can understand what is going on and be better situated to assess how just or unjust your father is going to be and then that Imam or that shell can if need be, contact your father see what is going on, hear from him directly. And look, you know, I mean, if it is clear that he is being unreasonable. I'll give you a simple example. If he says I don't want a religious person to marry my daughter, anybody who's praying five times a day who has a beard what not, I don't want
that person to marry my daughter. So Subhanallah in this case, it is very clear, open shut case basically, that if I were if this were to happen to me and the man said this to me, I will say, Okay, well, that is your prerogative to feel that way legally. And it is her prerogative in this land to get married legally. And I will interview the young man, see if he's religious and whatnot. And based on my, you know, assessment and insha, Allah then maybe allowed the marriage to take place, however, and again, this might shock some of you, but it is again, a reality. And in fact, if the man says, I don't want somebody who doesn't have a job, I don't want somebody who's still in
school, I want to marry my daughter off to somebody who has a good income. And he says, a reasonable income. So if he's middle class and saying, I want somebody of the same background, okay, subhanAllah, this is not unreasonable at all. On the contrary, this is the essence of being reasonable. This is the essence of what a what you should do. Again, I will shock some of you and I will say, what if he says, oh, I want somebody from my cultural background, okay. By unanimous consensus of all of them without Hib, he has the right to place that condition. And it is a reasonable condition, it is not unreasonable. Why because when you marry, it's not just a business
transaction. It's a life long, you're adding somebody to your family. And you might want somebody to speak your language with to have your cultural mannerisms with to enjoy your own, you know, extended family, you want to have somebody of your own. This is not haram. It's not it's not at all racism at all. On the contrary, anybody who says this is racism does not understand what racism is, when you prefer for a marriage candidate, somebody from your own culture and background. This is simply compatibility birds of a feather flock together. Yes. If you were to say, I'm not going to marry somebody of another race, because I think they're worse than me this. This is racism. And yes, Jani
in this case, go to a shareholder you or another person and find out the reality of what you're saying. But if a person prefers,
excuse me, if a person prefers his or her own race for marriage simply because of compatibility, not because of elitism, not because of arrogance, not because of looking down at other races, this is very reasonable. And if the father were to say, look, I don't want to bring into my household permanently, you know, somebody that I cannot speak my language with somebody that I'm not gonna enjoy my cuisine with somebody that cannot crack jokes, and my, you know, cultural, you can call it petty if you want, that's your prerogative, but it is his prerogative to have that condition as well. So my point is that who gets to decide what is reasonable and unreasonable? Not you with my
utmost respect, because you are the one that is at the center of things, your emotions are compromised, his emotions are compromised, right? We cannot expect you to step out of your position and make a fair judgment. You have email me that you have, by the way, you didn't tell me and I don't want you to help me. I'm saying you didn't tell me the exact reasons why your father is being unreasonable. But my question is, you have used that adjective, my father is unreasonable. Maybe he is. And if he is, and it's a reason that really does not make sense that is going to be detrimental, then insha Allah to either you will find the sheriff or an imam to say, you know, what, dear, and he
will call the Father because again, it's his prerogative, he is your father, he's not a stranger to you. And he needs to be told point blank that this is wrong, change your mind or else, you know, I will take over the way that the Imam should say that, and if he changes his mind at Hamdulillah, in any case, so I hope that answers that aspect. One other thing as well, by the way, and that is that dear sister, that look, you are completely 110% allowed to use soft pressure, emotional pressure on your own father, you know, talk to him intelligently, you know, tell him the goods of you know, why this brother is what you want and explain to him the pros that he's bringing up or not applicable,
you can appeal to him over and over and over again, you can use your own extended family, go to your cousins and aunts that are, you know, maybe your mother is on your side, I don't know, feel free, free to apply internal pressure, and see if that is going to change his mind prays to God or to Allah subhanho wa Taala make dua to Allah. But in the end of the day, if his objection is reasonable, as decided by a third party of knowledge and of your culture, then dear sister, he is your father and your parents, and they have some right over you. And in shallow data, he has your best interests at heart, even if you disagree with his assessment of what is your best interest. And
therefore, my position would be that if it is a reasonable reason, an objection, that is his prerogative, and you really do need to respect that or else you're going to be contravening the Sharia, and perhaps potentially earning the displeasure of ALLAH SubhanA wa Taala but Allah make a situation easy for you. Then a question that we have.
Brother I surf emails he does not mention where he is from. I like to hear where the brothers or sisters are from as well. It gives me
idea but brother I serve emails.
And he says that his whole life he believed that the parents of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam or in our in Jannah. And he just came across a lecture in which the speaker said that the Prophet says his parents are not in Jannah. And he is saying he is shocked to the core, he does not know what to do. The response dear brother, I Safford appreciate the sentiment. I appreciate the love that you have for the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, because that is why you are feeling so shocked out of your love for him and his love for his parents. I want to say in the quick, easy, short answer. This is a theological controversy that goes back to the second third generation of
Islam, and you have greater Allama that said, both opinions one on this side, one on that side, you have a lever that held both of these positions throughout Islamic history, over a dozen treatises have been written specific books have been written on this one topic. And you find it mentioned in many books of theology and creed. And you find this mentioned on both sides, some of them I said this, as I said, and some of them said that this answer of mine is not the time or the place to go into the details of who said what and why did they say that? I want to be very short and precise and to the point and say that there is no benefit at all, in discussing this controversy amongst the
public, nothing is to be gained, whether they went here or they went there. What is the benefit? How will that change our iman, we're differences and making our own actions? Yes, let the scholars discuss amongst themselves there might be some benefit here there amongst them. Yes, let the full time seminarians that are studying Islam full time, let them study the controversy from a historical theological perspective. But to position that I advocate, there is no benefit in bringing up these issues and hold up windows in these public Q and A's unless you're doing a detailed class and a part of a series and what not maybe then but I don't think it is wise for the average Muslim to think
deeply about this, let it be but understand there are two opinions understand there are two opinions and greater Oliver advocated you know, each of these positions and so let you know the other group exists don't feel bad in your heart against the other group at all. And insha Allah Allah in the next life inshallah you will find out and at that stage, we will not be concerned about other people will be concerned about ourselves so, Allah's judgment is fair, Allah's judgment is just Allah is the Most Merciful. Let it be. And you as an average person, you are very disturbed about this essay, don't worry about it and continue following whichever position your initial teacher taught you.
There is precedents in either of these positions, and Allah subhanaw taala knows best sister Satish emails from Pakistan, and she says that she got married a long time ago, 20 years ago or something, and she took her husband's last name. And now she is being told that this goes against the Quran. So should he chi legally change her name back to what it was before she got married.
This is a simple response. Allah says in the Quran, the rule humbly about a rule of sorter in the law, call them by their fathers. That is the justice in the eyes of Allah subhanho wa taala. And this verse has been misinterpreted by some in our modern times to say that this applies to women changing their last names, but this is not the case. The western concept, a woman changing her last name, and this is coming from the West had never existed in the east. This is a complete European construct, where if a lady would marry a man, she would change her last name to indicate that she is now basically owned by the manner she belongs to the man. Even in Western culture, it was never
meant to indicate that she is no longer the father, the daughter of her own father. You see, the Western function of the last name is not the same as the Quranic verse, Guru homely Abba in the Quranic verse with the room they are by means called them by their fathers, it means make sure that the child is is said so and so is the son of so and so so and so is the daughter of so and so, and do not substitute the son or daughter of so and so with another name that is not the parent. Now, in our modern culture, the first name is our name, the family name, it keeps on changing every few generations. You know, this is the default hardly any family maintains its name for a lengthy period
of time. And there are some family names that are so common you have millions and billions of people that might have the exact same family name, which means nothing then the family name in and of itself is not a identity marker, have called them by their fault.
There's that doesn't apply there. Does this mean she should change her name when she gets married? No. Why should she not change her name, because it is a notion of ownership that Europe Europe had. And there's no need to do this. So she should not worry if a lady marries, she should not change her last name Islamically speaking, if it has happened in the past, and she has already changed all of her legal documents to her husband's name, she is not obliged to go back and redo the whole process, it is permissible to let it be she is not contradicting the verse in the Quran, because it is not ascribing her to other than her father. However, in her informal introductions in her talks and
whatnot, other than her passport, she should go back to the name of her family, because we do not agree Islamically speaking that the wife belongs to the husband the way that Europe did, and there is no need to change the last name, even if it is not an identity marker of the parents, sorry, of the of the parents, he is still identity marker of the family. And she does belong to that family that she was born into. So bottom line, if she if the lady is about to get married, she should not change the last name. If the last name has legally been changed, and it is now she wants to change it. She may do so informally, she should do so informally. But she is not obliged to go to a court
of law and do whatever she wants to she may I'm not saying she shouldn't, but she's not sinful is what I'm trying to say. And Allah subhana wa Tada knows best. Last question we're going to do, I hope that this was useful, please leave in the comments were that this was better. So once in a while, I'll do this and and once in a while, we'll do do the lengthy ones. So last question, we're going to do brother car sim emails from California. And he says that he has gotten his Nika done, but he is not living with his wife yet. And the understanding of the two families is that they shall not be alone until after the walima. The expectation is that there's going to be a large volume or
another big party, and then the bride is going to come over and started living with him. And then he asks a very awkward but a very necessary question that what if the two of them meet, and they engage in any type of action, whether even to the level of consummation? Is that a sin or not? Now, this is an awkward question. It's an embarrassing question I understand for many young men and women, but it is a question that needs to be asked you see brothers and sisters.
So, there are multiple phases of you know, marriage and whatnot, when young men and women are interested in one another, and they're you know, talking and what not obviously, at that stage, there is nothing that is allowed, that would not be allowed, except for a little bit more of time with them to be alone in a public place. And if she wants to, she may show her hair or whatnot to him at a stage when she is comfortable to do so. But in terms of physical touching, in terms of intimacy, obviously nothing is allowed at that stage now, then a God takes place. Okay, technically speaking, once the Nikka has taken place, then in the eyes of Allah subhanaw taala, they are a
married couple, and there is no sin on them, no matter what takes place after that, even if it is all the way to conjugal relations and intimacy. Now, the official Nikka has taken place hijab and COBOL, the two witnesses that everything has done, even if it's a small ceremony doesn't matter, even it's in the privacy of your house. And there were five people, the family members over and the family expects there to be a massive festival 1000 People come and then the bride is going to be given away formally, but everybody knows the Nikka has taken place in this interim right? You are now between two problems are two issues number one, the Shetty as allowance to do whatever you want.
Number two, the family's expectations that nothing will be done. Okay. Now, if you and of course me, we've all been younger than we all know, it's very difficult at this stage, both men and women. I mean, why would they, you know, it's going to be with great difficulty that they will not avail themselves to this concession. Do realize if you go behind your parents back and do whatever your you're doing, you're not sinful in the eyes of Allah. But there are legal ramifications and repercussions if an if a divorce were to take place okay? If no divorce takes place, then there are no ramifications whatsoever. But if a divorce takes place, then it changes the matter amount it
changes the the amount of the two of you were never alone. You had a nigga ceremony, and then you guys went your ways and you were waiting for the the walima and it's so happened for whatever reason that the marriage ended in a divorce. In that scenario, there is no ADA. In that scenario, the murder will be much less in that scenario, other things are going to come into place.
However, if the two of you were alone, if the two of you engaged in any type of fondling or any type of more than this, then all of a sudden, if that marriage were to end, now, the divorce is going to be basically a three month, you know, all of the entire process is going to take place. Now, if that were to happen, and your parents don't know, but that you guys have, you know, gone behind their back, it's going to be a very awkward scenario for the, for the both of you. And by the way, that will happen if the two of you were in private, in seclusion, the Shetty, we do not ask what you did in private, that's not our business, the fact that you were alone, such that intimacy could have
occurred, whether it did or not, we're not going to ask, we don't have to ask that. But if you were alone, not in a public place, but alone in a place where intimacy could have occurred, whether you did or not, at that stage, you are not sinful in the eyes of Allah. But there are legal ramifications that will affect the Sharia as ruling if a divorce were to take place. Therefore, what I
advise in this case, and of course, I mean, we all understand it is difficult, but I advise that the understanding be made clear to the families the understanding and be clear that hey, look, the nigga has taken place. But you know, we're going to be meeting up and spending the day together and you know, we're going to be you, whatever, however wording you want to use, right, right, but the expectations, you are not sinful, but you're going to cause some issues. If, for whatever reason, the marriage does not go through and the parents thought that, you know, nothing had happened. So you have to balance between those, you know, those two areas here, and you know, you know best which
you know how best to do that. But if anything were to occur, there is no sin in the eyes of Allah subhanaw taala and the parents have the right to request it's their right is their prerogative that we don't want you know, the two of you to be together until the wedding takes place they have that right now whether you choose to do it or not, I mean, you might get them angry, but in the eyes of Allah subhanahu wata, and they have the right and again so don't don't mix and match to two things here you know, Allah azza wa jal, you two are married in his eyes who are married and if you choose to do something, there is no sin in in the eyes of Allah subhanho wa Taala but you have done
something to irritate your parents maybe and they have every right to be irritated and so you have to face the music if you want to, you know, do that it's up to you. But there is no sin on new per se. And my advice to you is that that's something that should be you know, conveyed in a manner that is appropriate and elegant, so that nobody is surprised later on. And Allah subhana wa Allah Knows Best with that inshallah we come to the conclusion of today's lecture and inshallah tomorrow we'll go back to our usual format of longer q&a, but every once in a while I'll do my Rapid Round fire inshallah And this matters Zack McLaughlin until next week, somebody rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh
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