But I’m not ready… A Marriage Talk

I'm the boss, I got the mic.

All right. So all the sisters turn in the face that way. All the brothers turn and face that way.

There we go. Hands on the shoulder of the person in front of you. Give a nice going

back massage. Mashallah.

Nice and happy.

All right, turn around repay the favor.

No pain, no gain.

All right, have a seat, please.

There we go.

So we have about 20 minutes. Because I, you know, I think there's a lot more benefit from the question and answer than, than really just more discussion.

And I'd like that the q&a is kind of a discussion similar to what we were doing downstairs earlier in the day. The topic is, but I'm not ready. And it's about overcoming modern day barriers. You know, sounds really fancy, but the barriers are way, the same barriers. So let's take it all the way back to the first Children of Adam.

The first murder is because of a failed marriage attempt. Like that's really scary, like the first guy that killed another person is related to a crime of passion. And I want you to think about how sensitive therefore the issues that relate to the heart, and how we perceive ourselves and what people want of us and what we want others. If you look carefully into the online, you will find that every teaching story that is utilizing a brand is leverage to a family structure. And therefore when you see the story of Adam and

it's a love story, Adams in Ghana, and it's not good enough on his own. He's in Ghana, in Paradise, but on the line like a partner. So a loss of Hannah Montana creates rare human.

And even after Adam descends on earth, He searches the world roaming, seeking out the love of his life, the one that completes it. And when you find her, it's a day out of the hat. It's a day you recognizes her. Today, you and I we celebrated in our hedge as that they

were the first human beings can get together and ask God for His forgiveness. It's a love story. You go a little bit further, and you find Ibrahim Ali is Saddam was a passionate loving husband and a passionate loving father.

And he was a long distance lover, Ibrahim alayhis salam, he leaves his family by the order of Allah, hi, Jeremy Smith, the ladies are in a land that's desolate that has nothing to grow, but a lot of sense to him. Or

perhaps if they're in this isolation, they will grow up on a foundation of scarcity, but it will lead them to a commitment and a reliance upon me. And therefore you and I go How can we performed the rituals that were performed by a single mother

who ran from one mountain to the next, you know, whenever I lead 100 groups or groups men continue to bless us in that way. One of the first lessons that I you know, I talked to them as about where is volcat? What is blessing? Both Okay, is not in plentifulness it's in the scarcity that precedes it. The Baraka in your marriage is not the bottom half of you having many children and you know, a nice home and oh, wow, look how much blessing we have. It's in the struggle to get to where you are that you're appreciative of a lot along the way. So a lot of rewards you with a continuing to part whether he gives you or takes it away, it's equal to you that's

so hard. You're stands on the mountain of suffer

and hope to die from dehydration. Having been left there. I have a command of a law by your husband. And she asks him is this Morocco book your Lord asked this

said yes,

even a year old man, therefore he will not leave us to go to waste. The essence of xenons them, you know that you get, you know, someone comes back from country like did you bring back some of them and you get that little glass of water and you just get a sip.

It's not the water and it's got a little bit more sodium and calcium, maybe it's not the water. It's the intention of how that water was produced.

hydro stood on that mountain in a place where no vegetation grows.

And she ran looking for help. From one side of the valley to the next. She didn't sit and say Oh Allah, you put me here. I deserve this. You deserve to you have to assist me. I'm the wife of a profit. You're the one who made him do this. She stands on the mountain nobody there she runs to the other side. And that she's running she's making ground to a lot I'm gonna keep searching over lots of alas fiber of my energy. I'm not gonna stop looking. But Follow me. And on the second

run.

not one, not two, not three, not five, not six failed attempts.

seventh one.

Allah says you breathing and relief comes

money. I'm

a single mother

gives birth alone.

And I'm also kind of a dad that causes their son to speak to her after she gives birth and she's left him on the ground. She hasn't picked him up. And that doesn't mean that they have he called me to her from beneath her. She hasn't she hasn't held him yet.

It's a severe emotional moment in her life. She just said yeah, they didn't need to have a lot I wish I had died before this test had arrived to me. I don't know what I'm going to do.

A john

amarrian my mom allows me water a record for you For you know, cleanse yourself with it. Well, who's the Reiki visitor, although this water is given to you, it's a miracle. Miracles don't come in pairs. Shake your tree and only then will allow bring down the needs for you to nourish yourself. For Cooley What shall be what can we eat and drink and then find comfort meaning pick me up take care of your physical body and then connect with me emotionally.

In every step in every learning lesson of the Quran is a family situation you know what your struggles

950 years to call generation after generation of his people.

His own Son this believes in him. Could you imagine that? Could you imagine your any man are you this community leader and you're advising people to what's good every day day in day out may look at you and say hey your boys over there. Are you talking to us? Your own son ridicules you, your own son This is the leaves in you

and what the promise of a law that was said comes to pass or you have to be in the rain descends and the earth erupts. And people are dying and I couldn't have continued to die. The promise that was made What news said would happen is happening when

my boy get on the ship believing alone on what you want. I can't just let you want you can't just come requires for you to give to receive

and his son says I don't need you and your God literally in that wording in that context. policy. Oh illegible I don't need you. I can go up that mountain. I can save myself who needs you?

Yasukuni meenal manual save me from this water I'm smart. I know what to do. All that awesome again, my boy there's no one to protect you today. He dilemma right except the fortunate to receive God's mercy faith.

Well, hello enough common knowledge and a lot causes north to see the waves crash between them kind of in an overall theme and he drowned in front of his

rebellious son.

You look at number one and you find

a young boy abused by his siblings targeted because of his parents affection to the point that

The near me murder Yusuf Ali's set up his own flesh and blood the sons of prophets that grand sons of prophets that great grandsons, the prophets, some my boy, your your boy, this is a great grandson of Ibrahim, the grandson of his half the son of yaku.

What greater lineage is there that you can say, look at my pedigree Look who my father, grandfather and great grandfather are, and not one or two, or five,

a 10 of them 11 of them conspire with such officiousness to keep not their own.

And a lot gives that as a lesson that yes, there are people who share your blood, people who share your home that may not seek you good intent.

And I'm what gives you another example of the forgiveness and compassion of use of the patience of use. And that's why over and over in the surah, Allah says for some boon Germany, how beautiful is the patient of the aku of use of Allah? Can

you see the example of non brothers who could inspire an evil but brothers who cooperate upon truth

and moves on he said, I'm asked a lot, although he needs no other assistant.

He needs no one I was speaking to him directly. And he says

he saw that he was suddenly I'm reminded of that journey of hope only watch it was easy on an athlete.

Even though I have you, Oh Allah,

let my brother be a part of this machine, he came back again. Because together we will worship you better and our speed will be greater. When kodaka Kafeel he will remind me when I forget. And I will remind him when he forgets our remembrance will be more magnificent in a cocoon tibidabo car, and we will strengthen each other to remember that you have always looked down upon us with failure.

You look at the example of an obedient, loving wife to a tyrannical despot of a husband.

whose only cry is that she could say Oh,

my Lord, I have nothing left in this life. And all I see is what that you can give me in Jeddah, and abode

to protect me from what I have endured in this life, she's asking the law for death.

It's their way of saying Oh Allah, take my soul.

When the genie made for the island, save me from tail.

opposite

to the life of a pharaoh. In her righteousness is the two wives of prophets of God in their wickedness and evil.

immoral.

The wives have locked, no other cabinets and they immigrated in outside the hall. And at that moment, they were under the command of two of our noble prophets, worshipers of ours, but they were treacherous. And see.

You find the examples that Allah Subhana Allah gives in the plan as learning lesson to the Prophet of Allah to our own map, all of them relate to family.

And therefore you ask yourself this question.

Which of the family

that is displayed in the plan? Do I seek to recreate it for myself?

In which Avenue in which home? Do I seek to build a reflection of what I want in this life today. And the human needs have always been the same. And I know what's nice to say in our time, or in, you know, in our context, or living in Melbourne or Australia, but the needs are always the same. The essence of what you seek in another human being the decency that you want in another being is always the same. And therefore Allah subhanaw taala speaks in general themes, and there's only 25 prophets and messengers, messengers in the portal and because the themes that you find in the Koran are overarching and encompassing of every kind of dictate and the theme that you and I struggle with in

life, and although there are 124,000 prophets and messengers sent to all the colors and nations and Heritage's of the world for millennia,

their stories are the same, even if their names are different.

And which story do you see to recreate? That's where you ask yourself this question. Am I ready?

Because if you step forward with Am I ready?

Am I ready to build this story? Am I ready to build a family that doesn't have a foundation on faith? I'm gonna build a family where it's not God centric. It doesn't revolve around federal prayer as the wake up call for the morning.

It's not based on the attire that I choose to wear that dignifies me, but also honors my spouse, my husband, my wife.

But the language that I choose is the language of humility and deference and devotion.

It's a thought process.

What are you ready to take on? And who are you ready to walk that path with that becomes the question.

And therefore, whenever anyone is thinking about sharing their life, and I use that word, intentionally sharing their life, with any other person, it has to be with that premise that it is sharing their experience. There's a funny story that I usually tell with these kinds of events. I remember that he he's one of the great biographers, historians of Islam was one of the great. He's the student of the Beaconsfield, who's the students COVID-19 here. And remember that he's got this magnificent book called Sierra Nevada, the biography of the notables and the luminaries of faith, and massive, massive book. And in a in its volumes, he writes his autobiography.

And he acknowledges he says about himself, I know, I'm not the most handsome of men. But you know, like, I know, I'm kind of shrink

because I know. But nevertheless, Allah has given me other things that beautified me. So when I came to choose someone for my life,

I chose the best Ferris wealthiest, most well to do person in our entire area. While opulent, she accepted me, even though I was skeptical.

For three years, in one of the day, you know, she said to me one day, and

I swear by God, you and I have made it to tell you that you and I are worthy of a lot opening the door and saying angiogenin.

You know, as a part of our faith as a Muslim, you don't have that capacity to say, I know I'm going to gender. You can't say that only Mohammed Salim was given you, you know, that latitude were allowed would inform him to keep for that, how dare you say something like this? She says, This is

You and I are in jail.

He goes, how do you know I'm in jail.

She said

100 that comment Burnett, you took the best of the women

in our society, or at data hungry, and you fulfilled the right that was due to me. So I was raised up as an aristocrat and I was given wealth I was given education I was given I was given I was given. And although you didn't have that, when you married me, you were to give me the same level that my family gave me. My heart is complete.

What are the other two coming up? And I know you from the inside, not the outside. So your students here you narrate the heartbeat, but I see you live it for our aka cold, warm and so warm, and you see you a person of night prayer and daytime fasting.

I see you a person of the word of a long line, it's you I can see a reflection of what it would have been like to live in the time of the prophet in your behavior. Fantastic, gentlemen.

You're a person worthy of paradise. He says. I was like, Man, that's pretty good. Like you're my wife, because look, you know, brothers, once you get married your wife, she knows you. Like she knows.

Like, knows, knows you. Like there's no.

She knows who you are. She knows what you say when you get angry. What's the first word that comes out of your mouth? She goes, she knows if you're that guy who's irritable and how well you cleanse yourself and how well you look after your home and how hard you work and what you pray when others are asleep, if at all. She knows you.

So he says I was happy that I have a testimony of someone who will stand in front of a law and bear witness on my behalf. What have you come to the nuptse?

Well, okay, I'm going to get that from the law.

So I sit there, well, what about you? How do you know you're going? Because she said, so she said to him,

listen,

because I had to be really patient to accept your proposal. Like you weren't the best of guys, you weren't the most handsome of guys, you weren't that well views of guys.

And that I, you know, I chose someone who would lead me upon a path of righteousness. I took a gamble on you. And so common law was something that paid its way that I believe because of my patience, I'm also worthy of genuine muscles that make us worthy agenda and make us worthy of leading others agenda alone. I mean, I've been given mind flashing signal to come to an end as I can l'affaire. So kind of a lot more behind the

ceremony.