How To Teach Our Children To Be Dutiful To Their Parents

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Waleed Basyouni

Channel: Waleed Basyouni

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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Aloha,

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Shadow,

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Shadow

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as heroin

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as

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911 men who want to stay in study who want to stop

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when I

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say it I'm Elena Maria de la who Fernando De La Hoya Euclid further ahead era wash Chateau La ilaha illallah wa ala Sheree cara, wash Madonna Mohammed bin Abu hora sudo Allahumma salli ala Muhammad Ali Mohammed k masala tala Ibrahim early in Naka, hamidah Majeed and Nevada. All praise do to align His praise and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his family, his companions and his followers until the day of judgment. I bear witness that I was the only one worthy of worship and Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam his last and final messenger.

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My last hurrah was about beruwala, Dane and examples of how

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the early time in Islam, this concept was so valuable in the eyes of every single person in a sense, or a believer in the sense that these see it just not as a culture thing.

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Not as something natural, which is many of us, I said this last Friday, and I'm going to repeat it this week, because it's a very essential point. There is a big difference between those who have been rewarded them better, right, then it means better, it means to do the best to your parents. To treat them the best to say the best to help them the best is basically to do your best for them. There is a big difference between those who are doing this out of just it's a natural thing. Everybody believe in a lot of them believe in God. These still believe basically and they will feel that you know, they have to good to be good to your parents. And you know, this is a common thing.

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Also people culturally there's a certain culture, enforce certain behavior with parents. And we talked about how the difference between approaching this subject from that perspective versus when you look at it as one of the most important grades of active worship, that pleases a lot. The most

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As Allah subhana wa tada said the many verses in the Quran that he prescribed upon us to worship Him and to be good to our parents. Welcome buka Allah tabuteau in La Jolla will be widely the signer in many verses in the Koran like that, that a lot prescribed upon us to worship Him and to be good and beautiful to our parents. We heard an amazing stories last hooked up, and if you didn't attend last Friday sermon, I highly recommend you to listen to it.

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I'm sure that so many of us after what we heard last week, wish to have a child or a son like Abu huraira Allah

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who Mohammed even Syrian said we visited him and we found him said, Oh ALLAH forgive me. Oh ALLAH forgive my mother. Oh ALLAH forgive anyone who will ask for forgiveness for my mother.

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Oh ALLAH forgive whoever was asked forgiveness for for my mother. So the asking Mohammed had been sitting among the tambourine. It's kind of interesting. Why would you say that? He said, because I want to increase the number of people who will pray for forgiveness for my mother.

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Carla hotteok for money.

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Then even Syrian sir fast banana struggle, fury ebihara when a stone filled with the O'Meara had Taya Nana, Da

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Vinci and said after he said that, we start saying Oh Allah forgive us mother. And I say, oh, Allah forgive us mother. Because if you say that you will, basically the throughout the application of Abu hurayrah would reach you. Because he said, Oh ALLAH forgive anyone who pray for my mother.

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As an amazing

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you would like to have a son or a child, like you will be and if you're any when a conflict happened between him and his mother, he said she was I went back home and she was asleep.

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I couldn't wake her up because I feel that will not be in nice things. And I couldn't go to sleep.

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And I know that she has something in her heart against me.

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called Azur sallyann. And

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then he said every time I go to my place to sleep, I think about her. She's not happy with me. I go back to her room on a car sleep. I don't want to wake her up. He said the whole night I spend right at her feet standing up, waiting, maybe for a moment you will wake up then I will ask for forgiveness. Because I will not feel right to go to sleep and my mother don't feel and she has something in her heart against me.

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I'm sure

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we all would love to have a son

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like the son of Ottawa

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who was asked how is your son to you? Karla nettement

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kefan e m rodinia ferrania t, or a son or a child he taken care of my affairs.

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And I am dedicated the rest of my life whatever left in my life for my era, he taking care of my dunya like my worldly affair. On I'm basically focus whatever days or months or years left for me in this life, to focus on the

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so this talk, I'll share with you several practical points that you can do to ensure that your kids and your children will have that concept of validating. They will be good to you as you grow old. Because so many times as life goes on. We forget that as life goes on and days goes by our parents also getting older and our kids getting older and getting much busier. And sometimes it's too late to embedded certain points and to plant certain seeds, but don't ever give up. So one of the first point that I would cite the point of my hotbar last week, make sure that every time you frame the issue of barrel Walton as not something personal, but it is something that a law prescribes upon us.

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It does something pleases Allah subhana wa Tada. And I said to you last week if you remember that Look, man, when he kept advising his son and every advisor all my son do this. Oh my son doing do that on Saloni Walk walk this way when you talk don't talk. That's why you remember I said that when it came to better what I did. He didn't say

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Yeah, booni qabala buka Allah tabuteau Ilya, I know, he said, he basically, but the verse came, walk about a book Allah prescribed upon you. So he will not make it personal to his son. It's not about me, that's what Allah Subhana Allah wants from you.

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Another point, which is so important that you care about the righteousness and the religiosity of your children.

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Because that righteous child is a child who will never forget about you after you die.

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A child who will always look for sadaqa jariya in your behalf, not a child just will have a nice, you know, headstone over your head when you die, and bury you in westheimer Cemetery in a nice place in an expensive funeral. And that's it he moves on in his life, and you basically forget about you. Alright, your son will always remember you, and his prayers, a righteous son and daughter, she will always try her best to do the right things. And the thing that will give you rewards, after long after they leave the slide.

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When it's come with the righteous children will always have this God's conscious that we go out of their way because it's the end of the day, an act of fortune,

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the love of your children,

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natural, but definitely it will increase as a reaction to your love towards them.

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If there is a strong love in the house, I can guarantee you that this kid children of yours as they grow old, even in lighter Anna, that the barrel while again will grow with them.

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Love is a very strong motive

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can motivate people and direct people. So make sure that you win the love of your children. Make sure that you show them your love. Make sure that you express your love, make sure that you say it to them.

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You know I love you so much. A lot of time we don't feel that maybe we don't need to say it. But believe it or not all studies almost that they come across it says it is so important to verbalize your love. And to stated your love to them.

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And remember, if you remember one thing, if hooked by an a talk about children and they said children spell the word love, T i m e time.

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That's how you spell love. So one of the things that it will earn you that make sure that you close to your children spend a good quality time with them. I'm so proud of so many members of my community here that you know, I'm aware of some way or another, you know, just I don't want to them to get scared. But when I see in their Facebook, their pictures traveling, you know all over the place with their family and their kids make me so happy.

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Recently I found a family you know Mexico with their kids and other family in West Coast and northern, you know in overseas, that's a good thing you spend time with your children.

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Make sure also that you close to them that they feel almost close to you. They can always talk to you. One of the brother told me I told him, Are you good to your parents? He said yes. I said, I said absolutely. And I can tell you things that I consider myself a person who really very good when it comes to validate. And I asked him immediately when I was preparing for this. I said what made you that way? and amazing. He told me chef, because all my life. There is not a single time. I felt that I need my father for something or my mother for something unless I found them. They're

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willing to talk to me to spend time with me to listen to me. I never ever remember all my life. I now my late 30s that I ever told my dad I want to talk to you. He said oh I'm busy or forgot about he will call me You still want to talk to me. That availability always meant so much to me that today, no matter what I will always be available for them. I will always be there for them. And he said that's actually was the thing that affected me the most.

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One of the most important thing as well to teach your kids

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to train your kids or to guarantee inshallah, that your children when they grow old, they will have that built in validation that you will treat you the best

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is to learn how to respect your children

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no matter how young they are, or all they are.

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You need to learn how to respect our kids in order for us to earn the respect

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rahima kaleida sofian mm 100 couverte ifis Amani, Sophia an authority of a Hema hula. His son said he was coming

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phagon human India he said to the people around him called Corona hada you see this one?

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Carla merger took merger photo

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and never ever treated him bad. Or Speight spoke to him in a mean way. We're in the hula Rooney facility

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for Akbar Allah.

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And ever he never called me while I'm praying other than the obligatory prayers, unless I will cut my prayer. I don't say Yes, son, what do you want?

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Our cut my prayer for him just to answer his call on his request.

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We learn that you do this for your kid for your parents.

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But what goes around, comes around.

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Once you pay today, you collect tomorrow.

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One of my teachers

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once I was having a fight with him, and Yvonne and his father as older man, maybe late 80s moolah.

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What strike me that he never called his son. Anything but chef,

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Chef masala Omar have some of what some of you know who he is. So you always told him chef, NASA, NASA, NASA, he called him chef for me to share. That's how he talked about his son.

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like as if he's one of his students.

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One of the things that helps let your children know about the things that you love the thing that you wish, don't hide it, let them know that let them grow up knowing what you what is your personality, don't think they will figure that out by yourself. You know, I have my kids that day, they will shocked when I told them that I don't like apples.

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I mean, the fruit, not the company.

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Okay, and they're like, wow, dad, we do know that. You know, sometimes you'd be surprised as you grow old and they have these things that adjuster in their head, what my dad loves, my mom likes what she loves the most. You know, I have seen one of the girls, you know, he

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actually heard and they seen in my own relatives. You know, one of the girls she needed to for example, treatment knows her mom loves this basically touch so much you love, for example, certain things to be done to her hair or to her feed or to certain food or search and drink at certain time. And when they know that as they grow, they know what the things that make you happy. Because believe me, that's something you will really appreciate as you go grow older and as you see them drifting away because that's a natural thing.

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One of the most important point as well is to raise your kids upon good manners.

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If your kids from early age knows well how to talk to older he will know how to talk to you when you grow.

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When he knows that you cannot be disrespectful.

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He cannot from the early age that he knows how to be nice to be gentle these to be generous. It will pays back as they grow old.

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They know they have this manners they have this respect. They have this you know honoring for the older.

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I told once, man, you know sometimes you want to make that point. And to remind your kids of these things, little things, but it pays back.

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One brother said once a second picture with my dad. I was with my much taller than my dad. Then we look at the picture. You're on the phone. What kind of selfie? Then my dad said. You know, you know what they say son. No matter how tall you are, you always look up to your father.

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He said yes. And he said that word My father told me 20 something years ago. And that's one of the other also give me feedback about this. Because I want real examples of life to share with you. He said this word still in my ear more than 20 years ago. And I always want to look at my dad, I always look up to him.

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One of the things that is important for you to recognize their acts of burden validate if they do anything, they just consider of better why they they treat you well, they did something good recognize this, especially in the early age, and remind them of how rewarding that is. So to be reinforce this good positive behavior in their life.

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Do not ever

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take it slightly, any form of disrespect to you, or to the mother. Do not let it slide. Do not let it go. Don't just ignore it.

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You know, make sure I'm not saying have a fight, or be mean, or abuse them No, but don't let it just go happen. Sometimes,

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even Unfortunately, some people let it happen with the mother, and they will not very be picky about it. But don't tolerate that said that's wrong and not acceptable. Your kids throw a fist in front of you in front of your mom, do not tolerate that. And make sure that you tell them hey, that's not right. You can do that your parents, there's a respect for it. Because if you let it go 1234 times, you don't know what happened later on as they grow and become bigger.

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What to do cause severe a Deb will morale

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will be your shower, once a week with a camera.

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Make sure you tell them. Don't use the sharpness of your tongue.

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On your mother who taught you how to talk.

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As on one side,

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make sure you just make that comment and you make that point.

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One of the most important points in my opinion as well make sure that we teach our children the importance of family values. My family comes first. My brothers come first my sisters come first, my parents come first. Unfortunately, so many children to die. You know, the people who come first the father ones, they're willing to clean the house of somebody else other than their parents. They're willing to build something for people far away from their family. They're willing to help and to give sadaqa to some far away from the family.

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They will talk very nicely to strangers, but very mean to their sisters and to their brothers.

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Make sure that you say now willing to play and have fun and to share his toys with the stranger but not with his siblings, make sure that you make comment that's commonly exists. But you have to counter that you don't reinforce this kind of behavior. You tried to make sure that this things they corrected as they grow.

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Share with them stories about spirituality, stories about the virtue of it, how it pays by what's the importance of it.

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Make sure that they also know how much rewarding and how much harm is to be bad to the parents. Please don't only focus on how evil how bad it is rokoko holiday.

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also taught them focus about the positive part of it.

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One of the most important thing as well.

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Watch your tongue how you talk about your spouse in front of your children.

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If you bad mouth, your husband, even if your ex is your ex, if you bad mouth, your wife in front of your children. What do you expect

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if you fight together in front of them,

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and you ensure no respect to each other?

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And you bad land use bad language with each other's if he sees his mom or his dad suffering

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and crying?

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What do you think you want to grow up we'll learn how to treat their parents.

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This is important points to watch. It is the only one pay for that is the children as they grow up.

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Make sure that your children not exposed to bad examples.

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Unfortunately, our kids listen to things and watch things watch what they watch what kind of movies, messages, songs, books that they read when they read

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Do you hear the rapper saying or referring to his mother with the B words, even if he say sorry later on.

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It's after you making a hall.

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You can basically fill these holes up after he made them.

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See these the messages that our children basically seeing and listening, be careful what they listen, especially as they are very young an age.

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We as a society has a responsibility towards teaching our children better quality.

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If you if your brothers or your nephew, your niece, disrespect her father or his father, make sure that you tell them, hey, that's not the right way to do. Your relatives don't say that's not my business. If I see someone talking to his father in a bad way, I will say hey, you can't say that about your dad. Don't say it's not my business. It is our collective responsibility. It's the school's responsibility to teach our kids these values, these meanings. It's our massage our centers, or basically the society at large must contribute to making sure that children raise upon these such beautiful values.

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I asked the last panel to an Arizona Yakutia Did

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you know the reality come to Moscow.

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Abdullah hamdulillah salat wa salam ala rasulillah.

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Abdullah was a

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high school kid.

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All his brothers, none of them had a higher. I don't think none of his brother even had a high school. Do you finish high school. None of them definitely did college. The mother her wish alive, wishes alive. That's her son of the law, the youngest one to go to college.

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But unfortunately, after he finished his high school, his dad passed away. He decided to work to help his brothers, other brother, one or two brothers in to help the family. But the mother insists that he doesn't work and he goes to school. She supported him.

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He made an oath.

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He made a promise to himself that when I graduate,

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half of my salary,

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it will go to my mother

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who works so hard to support me 50% of my paycheck will go to my mother.

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He said I remember when I got the first paycheck, after I graduated and got a job.

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And my mother was suffering from cancer for a while. I remember running to her heart to the hospital, the check, you know one of fulfill that wishes and she knows that. But she died before I deposited that check on her account.

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But from that day,

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for more than 30 years.

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He said as far as remember, that paycheck of my regular work, will always say 50% of my income will go in charity and behalf of my mother

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for the last 30 years from that day.

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He said one day I was walking to the mustard. And I saw this beautiful water fountain outside the mustard. Offering water to the people on the street because it lives in a country is very hot.

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And he said I told them

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Wow, who did this pretty good idea. He said Oh, that's for you. He

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said it's yours. Should I didn't order?

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He said no. Then he found out that his son harlot, who's just in high school, been saving money for the last year or so. From his basically the money that he gets until he saved enough money to purchase that water. And he said I put it on behalf of you as a solder on behalf of my father.

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If you are a good

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role model,

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if you treat your parents good

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that will lead your children to treat you good.

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If you care to fulfill the rights of your parents alive or after death, I guarantee you that thing paid back

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as well but remember that a lot told mucem Moses, respect and honor your parents, man workers kerravala de method Tula Wolfie Romani will have to the who wanna dunya woman acaba de casa tomorrow

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Hold on to the hawala Danya

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Moo save someone respect his parents, Allah will bless his life and will bless them with a child who will treat him well. And if someone is bad to his parents, Allah will destroy his life and will give him a child who will treat him so bad.

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If we want to raise our children, to have better in one day, make sure that you don't abuse your children.

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Don't be unjust and unfair to your children.

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I have seen children suffering from their parents, miserliness and stinginess, and holding back the money from their kids under a false assumption that I want to raise them, I want them to work hard to earn money like I work hard, how long Allah have blessed you with money so you can bless your family.

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Or you force your children into marriage that the not related to, they can can stand but it's so much pressure on your daughter or son to marry someone that you don't like. And for the rest of their life, they suffer from it

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or you beat them.

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We hurt them

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all this help and will not help to have children like that.

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Make sure that you Be very careful from local urbanism. Because there is not only local ABA, there is local Abner kamatera Omar Machado de sticky

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de la to school Roku cabinet worker the doctor who published Eric said you complain about the book and your parent your children treat you bad you've been tweeting about all your life

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final thing is make sure that you do a lot of

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as Allah taught us in the Quran hablan I mean as wodgina with react you know the iron any Allah bless us with children and families who are

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cool to the eyes. Make sure you do a lot of that a lot. Give your children the ability of Baron holiday it's no shy about that. Don't feel shy about asking this. I asked him was panatela useless react you know react.

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Roman

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