Bulugh Al Maram – Book of Etiquette & Manners #10 – Hadith No. 1239
Channel: Waleed Basyouni
File Size: 45.83MB
smilla rahmanir rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa sallahu wa salam ala nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi
wa t Masood Nino do Bahujan call? Allah Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam either Quantum selasa but I attended this Danny do not offer destiny to witness when allegedly unethical. You know what the family will love to the Muslim. They read it even though the Allahu taala and who are those messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said when three of you are together, two must not talk privately ignoring the other till you mix with other people since that will cause him grief agreed upon and the wording is Muslim
smilla hamdulillah salat wa salam ala rasulillah Allah and he was so happy
about the youth of today happy to be Mr. Little they allow on where he's talking about one of the etiquettes of gathering and we said now it's all about social interaction. And this Hadith, Hadith tenergy were the process alum said either couldn't ratha when three of you get together in a company too few must not talk privately while isolating the third. So as not to make him feel sad that is left out tell you mingle with other people and he became large more than three so that person will not Baba himself isolated he have someone else to talk to and he said this wording from Muslim
and as we said he started with the etiquettes the rights of Muslim upon one another and now he talking in details about the interaction between Muslims when we start talking visiting and being with each other, there are certain etiquettes we have to take in consideration and this is one of it.
Min edgerly en danika zinno This edition
in the end of the Hadith it says
basically it makes him feel sad.
He said that this is the wording of Muslim
according to the cubbies of Muslim we have now an odd hand it's not
and if you look to the print of Muslim today it's not
yeah if you can keep him on was that because of the camera on the recording? That's why I guess people
yeah, I know the camera.
So according to the copy of Muslim we have we don't have that additions. We have another Muslim in kuntum rottefella Tina jasmine and Bruno Sahib Huma for in Nevada and he can you know, very close
in the Muslim if you are three, too few should not privately conversate without the third one because that might might make that person sad.
This had it had it had to live in Minnesota there laquan m de la Massoud, even though often had been heavy.
In chum, they've been far
more zoomed in Sahaja even can even hide hard if it meant to mean massage. No they had been in Madrid ilias new Mobile Admin is out. That's a long name.
Which is basically you can keep going all the way to smile to Ibrahim alayhis salam
have a lineage of those great companion, the great Imam, the 40 of the oma abou Abdul Rahman. He is who the lead from a tribe called who they his McKee, his Mohajer his bedri and he is halifa Benny zu hora among the earliest Muslim who accepted Islam. Among the most intelligent scholars among the companions. He witnessed the battle, he witnessed the first hedgerow to to a pacinian show he did his routine and the second one to Medina, and he was in the de fullier MOOC. among the leaders of in the battles. Men are people who are zero element kathira. He rated so many a hadith and have many virtues or the ally Anwar. He hasn't been to Muslim 64 Hadith. Al Bukhari reported 21 and Muslim
reported 35 of them
Any he narrated many 1000s of narrations are the allowed Anwar. He was very skinny. The loudness was very skinny to the extent when the wind comes at knock him down
and has a very very skinny legs.
When the wind is a little bit heavy you will fall on his back.
That's why when he climbed the tree, the Sahaba laughed at his feet legs, because they're so skinny. They laugh he said, You're laughing at his skinny legs. Look at me It's so strange how strange they are. He said Well, I know my last column in Germany or History Museum okay.
These skinny legs are heavier than that mountain in the day of judgment
that man that you laughing at his leg and kind of
dark very dark skin
very dark tan skin. What kind of concealer is not tall guy. What kind of lay over you Shiva
Sahaba in general the dye their hair gray hair. He didn't really align on a lot. What kind of leaf and felina intelligent, gentle nice. Can I do that via tequila and anime are
among the most intelligent people in the world that have given him Allah azza
wa jal, even though
he had is not a big guy, his legs skinny, but he had a tummy sticking out kind of
as a tummy that stick up.
Say that the Messiah. He said, I saw him and he known by his mother's name, Me.
Abdul been to Abdul Karim in Venezuela. He wrote the Allahu unset and Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam called me a black man before I even have a child.
So nobody saw him give him that cornea.
And he was very generous men.
What kind of an Edward ignacy see happen, Why suddenly him
he was known that his clothes are very neat
and very clean. And he smells so good. Well the Aloha unwashed out of LA
and listen to first interacting with Mohammed Salah
Kala in Washington and him to whom in me Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam a DM to mK katama movement in Li o NASA men comin up tell them in hamata I came with my people to Mecca to buy something
what kind of it will be at nationals
and we want to buy perfumes you can tell is still a kid so that it's like ons in the family. For perfumes
falesha do not have an Ibis, so I went to an Ibis to buy from him perfumes
on Yeah, best who's my best?
ankle fantana li hua jellison isms. He was sitting next to them. We said with him. And while we are talking for up Balaji lumen babus Safa.
While we're talking to him, a man came from a softer side. If you've been to Mecca if you're around zum zum. Basically, if you give your back to the camera, you're going to face or cabin your right hand side of the sofa just right in front of you. He said a man came from the door of a sofa a beer camera. Wala who was forgotten jayda He said he's very fair skin and reddish A lot of it. And here were for him. He had a lot of hair on his head. Jerry does not very it's wavy hair.
And he said in our unsavoury the knee cover basically half of his ear with this hair on his head.
flf Angela in Baku, Santa Maria de Kyoko masaba.
In describe the man is still young but she's very taken by the look. A shaman
Now yeah and he is straight, smack straight, his nose straight and a little bit.
Okay, up and an M
not flat and it's not too big. It's like a skinny and and stands out and he said
basically it's so white and dark black inside stands out you can tell very clearly big eyes that big eyes and a lot of white and the black is so clear it's pitch black, but Rob within it vinaya his teeth like peril
shining from a distance, decay cool masaba masaba
he has hair in his chest, but his hair and chest is not too much. He has just a line and Emma Saba who helped me to shop further in
his line of hair goes from the chest all the way to his belly button and that line of hair is not too much and the strict in the visa zone did not have hair on his chest and his body has a little bit of hair on his shoulder but the hair in his body was only aligned like this goes down some A lot of it a sudden
shift in will caffeine you will cut the main
any here's a big hands not small tiny feet or hands kissing his beard is a lot and no come on over a little but
he said look like the full moon
MC Allah Yemeni Hunan Hassan watch Moroccan Omar, tell him
on his right hand side, a young man walk with him. I'm not sure if you reach the age of puberty or not. Someone like Khalid someone like he was like, you know, I don't know. It's just young man.
And he said
what a cool human Ratan et cetera and Hasina salah and with them a woman covered her beauty. And he she is not exposed in her chest. You can tell like you know her. She's not wearing short, close tight clothes. No. She's like modest. Had kasana when
he went to the Kaaba, he touched the Kaaba. The boy did the woman did it. And he made a laugh and it kept watching him seven times until now he doesn't know who that person is.
Know the woman nor the boy. He doesn't know that.
The Myth of seven times.
Then he was at one of the coroner on Friday for cabal work. I was searching for a Nashi an anchor there than
the way he prayed. Something was strange we never saw before and
then we said yeah, Boss Yeah.
Is this the new religion that appeared in you?
He said you didn't know was that they said No, we don't. Then he said how he This is my nephew, Mohammed bin Abdullah. And that's
him and his wife.
Yeah, boo la de la raza.
He said I said I don't know anyone on the visuals Earth warship a lot. This white except these three.
soon after that, in Ibiza Salaam
met me Massoud whatever Massoud was taking care of herds. And he's given me a sheep said I can give it to you because I'm trusted with the sheep I cannot give you from its milk. I kind of give you food to me. Can you give me a sheep who has no milk?
a sheep who did not even get pregnant yet? A baby one? Like a one will never like had a baby or do any because now have a baby there is no milk.
Man is it and
what do you want with it is to bring it he brought it and then some white over there.
Where the milk is.
You know where the milk it should
matter. The otter and it said all of a sudden it was filled with milk
Get like, wow, this is like unbelievable.
And he milked that Salalah. He drank from it, he gave it to a bucket. And he gave to me.
And that was something he basically, it couldn't understand.
And after he finished, he told the other go back, then it went back. Like what I did was I came to him and he said,
Can you teach me what you just did?
What this words that you said,
And he said, he wiped over my head and he said, Don't worry, you are alerted young men are under hood.
See how he put confidence in this young boy?
I after that I went and it became Muslim and I came to him That's why Mr. Lyons was said he was the sixth person to became Muslim. And some said he became Muslim.
After 20 people like he was number 23 or something.
And by the way, he became Muslim before the Muslim started
and MK and in a very early stage he became Muslim for a long while
and it will go back to the Hadith it's I just want to I love them I think his life stories and amazing story to be told at one day of their life in LA going back to the healthy said fed I attended do not conversate on private because a 10 mg in Arabic language who will kill me Sultan McAfee? What's the opposite of Mona jack? h Axel. Mona.
Mona Mona Mona jar, you Converse it softly? Nada? It means out loud.
Okay, when are they in a human journey we'll put in a manual
When are the non human journey will we called upon him when he was at a pole
that mountain center
when he became near me, Nigeria and in Argentina
so when he came near to what the place was gonna want them to be, the conversation became quite private.
So a lot differentiate between Nanda when Elijah when he was far still on the mountain very far away, was needed call. And that's why in the Day of Judgment, Allah Subhana Allah said about the kuffaar that they will be united down
that they will will call you for hood
to not do America they call upon them with outloud so they expose them
so I'm gonna jack it means a private conversation. So these two the conversation privately and the third one can't hear, so on why the person said three
Mishcon Debbie sarafa
we understand that
and if three is not meant for itself
no one added you to so what if he hadn't man, because three is the number the minimum number that you can imagine the possibility of private conversation with someone is isolated.
Because if you have four, maybe two and two, but if you have four three talking privately and one is isolated, it's not allowed.
You have 10 nine talking privately.
If one is isolated from the conversations not a lot, but it was mentioned 30 because the minimum
do not any basically isolating the third person he said until the mix with people intermingle with people. So that means there is many people so that person will not be by lifted by himself. He can go to someone else and talk to
mean engineer and Danica.
the one Maria it will make him upset or sad. Okay. Also, it could be pronounced another way. You know, that's why one way, another way to call Avon Zoo
Yo, Xena where Zulu both okay
because it makes the person upset and sad how Baba Rahim Allah said Why would he be upset Can you figure it out Mr. Malone why a person would be upset
Why would you be upset if to talking privately and you are isolated from the conversation
because one thing misshapen can come to him and said what they talking about you or the plotting against you or the making fun of you especially you're laughing and smiling okay what else
there's another reason also
he feels not worth it to be part of the conversation.
He feels that he is not worth he said layer has been known if empty handed kuramathi he feels like in not been treated respectfully. So disrespect can imagine you're in the house and me and him talking and this guy like left out this is this was
so that's why he said yes or no make him sad because of these two reasons. What we can learn from this habit number one.
This heavy is a very practical way of showing you the importance of
be considerate of other people's feeling.
Any one of the first thing we learn from Polycom or hotma shadiness. Sometimes we don't care about other people feelings. We don't care about how they feel how we make them feel. So you raise your voice you're loud you're you know you don't care you're careless you're like you we don't sometimes we just don't pay attention to it. And this shows us the importance of being considerate of other people's feelings. I remember one brother told me she wanted you know what I don't like to give you a setup and conversate with you in front of the most
simply can't do anything about you.
And it's a weekly limit shall enter not because of you
I said for what he said Jeff It is so it hurts me every time me and you outside somebody comes he gives you some cycles away though and he lives well Canyon aloha Monica, Jim. Is it just a piece of wood yeah next year
what about me as I go and he leaves and as if I'm not even exist in the world
and he said is really very upsetting.
And I agree with that. And I thought noticing that actually and it's not nice he should care about other people feeling okay not to hurt them not to insult them
even though you might talking privately not about him you don't mean any disrespect but because that's what it looks like that What can lead to an Islam said don't do it
to attend a
private conversation I remember those sports is called technology could be by words talking and sign language
like we you know we're like playing to each other's
you know, we're like give a sign to each other and this person's like completely lost
that's also not allowed so I can I'm open fair why because it makes the person feel the same thing isolated make the ship on think maybe the talking about him and so forth.
And a tangent one it from Hadith maka Morrison
Baba incarnate another Hadith Musa How the hell can we do what I did Islam when I fit in Kenya
Islam law a lot. Some scholars said that this hadith has been abrogated. They said this heading was talking about the early time in Islam were hypocrites used to talk and compensate privately and they leave the Sahaba out to plot against Muslims
but later on after Islam became a strong the Sahaba didn't care about this kind of private conversation okay but
any the took this from what I said in them and network in a shape on me as an a Latina am an ulcer in the or an ad network this private conversation isolating someone out is to from the shape and to make your brother upset or sad.
At some of the NMS said that this is a tad acid. That was what the hypocrites used to do in regard to this verse, but outside to limit the meaning of the verse, only for this scenario is not correct the verses general and the Hadith in general we cannot limited only to the hypocrites or the hypocrites time. That's number one. Number two, the endless the reasoning why Allah forbid This is what for in danika Zulu that will make him upset question Would that make you upset now? Absolutely. Often disrespected out think about negative my brothers. So this is the case it's
an inlet The reason is not hypocrisy is not the strength of the weakness of a snap that is, is to make your brother feel bad.
That's why last month I said Leah zanella Deena Amano. So make the Muslims upset. And no doubt hurting your Muslim Brothers is forbidden in Islam. Allah subhanaw taala said when Medina Luna mini No.
boo boo Tana, what if moon Venus, Allah said those who hurt their Muslim brothers and sisters, they have earned a great deal of sin, a great deal of sin and so on.
That's why we say that this next one is forbidden
is not dislike it is a sin to do it.
mumbo jumbo this macadam is not just a recommended act or dislike it's how long to do that somebody might say. But isn't checked we have a general rules we said before anything has to do with etiquettes it should be recommended. Not must Yes. Unless to just Purina unless there is something to indicate that it is haram or it is in the head. What's the indication here? The indication here that didn't there be Salalah Salim said that that will make him What? Yes. upset. And that's from the shavon
and Allah subhana wa tada have told us that making your Muslim brother upset is not allowed and it is a sin, and it's either hurting his feelings.
By the way, also, I would like to mention something else. Some said private conversations between two excluding the third allowed in traveling, but not in residency. They said because in traveling, you know it's hard to it happened that you and your friend talking.
And I would say this is no proof for that at all. As a matter of fact,
it is however in traveling or residency. And that's what I've been Amaro the alarm said that Malika Shafi and the majority of the AMA, who talked about this issue doesn't matter. Traveling or not traveling, it is not allowed. And there is no proof to make exclusion for traveling. And to say traveling, it's allowed. And I will take this and I tell you, as a matter of fact, when you travel and their friends and traveling do that to you while you're traveling, it hurts more than if you are living in your city.
And if you suffer in Ashford University
they if they were for two talking together privately and to do privately Is that okay?
It is okay.
But nobody's all the talking about us No.
agree that this is okay.
Set up your model the alignment. So inside of your model, they align
outside, he said I told him in a model out of
four people it doesn't matter. So for people to undo that's fine. But a nanny tanaji also
a 10. Angie, the reason why it's not allowed because it makes you upset. It opened the door for
the what if we know that this will not going to make you upset?
It will not hurt you?
Yeah, and it was alima D. Okay. He isn't the office.
And me and Jacob Rahim talk together and you know next time in the office.
He doesn't hear what we said. He will not feel upset because he understand that that's the nature of work.
You see, like you and your doctor, your doctor with his nurse, maybe there is a patient
who's not gonna be upset he understand that this the nature of work. So as long as we understand that this is how it works, it is allowed, even if it's two on one. Yeah.
I am going to your home.
Okay? And you're going to bring Mashallah he just fileted that nice. Flanders and he making for us fish tacos. And he goes, and he told his son, something about the food, and I'm there. I don't hear what he's saying to his son. I will not feel bad because I know that this is the Father, this is the son, the talk about private thing. You don't need to include me. You see, as long as we know there's not going to hurt the person it is permissible. Good.
shadow one minute or so.
One of the also the scenarios of making technology without the third person to the third. And it is permissible, because this doesn't cause any harm if you take permission from him.
I'm sorry, but I have a private conversation with him. I need to finish it.
Okay, no problem.
You see, that's fine. That's why in your model, the launch party, the quantum Terra
if you're three Do not talk privately without his permission, and veneration. So if he gives you permission, it is allowed. Also, in America, like give an example of a big gathering.
Let's say we attending a gathering as somebody passed away or wedding or like big gathering. Okay, and we are sitting next to each other.
And I talk
to someone in the couch over here, I don't have to include him in the conversation, because it's a big gathering.
You know, it's understood.
Also in law said if the third person someone who cannot understand like a child like three four years old doesn't really understand you know, he doesn't really care for you. What are you guys talking to go? Majnoon someone insane?
You know, that's because not gonna be upset and prison is not gonna happen to that person. But if he's old enough, even if he's not at puberty, and he will feel disrespected, isolated, not allowed.
Also, if there is need,
like your servant, somebody work for you, your secretary, walk in and talk to you privately. You don't want to share your information. can imagine have a business and have to share your business information in front of the third person. Nobody will ever say that. Like me and my wife went to byline.
Or to buy something from the store or a car? Then the salesperson told us he gave us the offer. Then it said, Okay, let me talk to my wife, is it nano light, and
I have to be part
of the family See? So you can imagine it's you have to take things to understand the reasoning and your applied
haven't had, it also shows us that it is forbidden in Islam, to intentionally harm your Muslim brother
intentionally do anything to harm someone, even if this harm is psychological harm.
So how what do you imagine of a physical harm? If it's how to harm him or her, psychologically? Is that enough? Somebody will see. How about you take his money? How about you beat him up? How about you lock him up in jail? How about you torture them? How about you kill them?
Any Can you imagine that the amount of sin the people accumulate
it just unbelievable.
So that's why anything that will break
him or make him upset or disrespected, you know, is not allowed. I give you example. Sometimes we make fun of others.
In front of their friends, you make fun of your daughter in front of her friends, or your son in front of his friends, or you make fun of your brother in front of his friends.
You make fun of other people
to make them feel bad. That's not a lot.
And it's how long and it's forbidden in Islam.
Even if it's not in front of anybody.
Can you imagine you and your wife you break her Miskin ticks
you make her upset and feel bad. You know this guy his wife telling him you know
how do you really like you know, I look so beautiful. I look so nice. Didn't you really like my look and my beauty and my finger. So I like your good sense of humor.
That's the best you can do.
That's breaking her heart and skin.
These people like all she does the same thing.
She breaks his heart.
I am going to business you're a loser. You can do any business.
You know this never gonna do just some people have noticed no consideration for people's heart. And remember words can be more harmful than hand your tongue can be more sharper than your hand
also one of the things that I want to say it earlier but I want to talk about that no you have to go
yeah because the camera loses focus when people when kids walk in front it's okay
I'm also said that
this etiquette is not only related to Muslims, Muslim and non Muslim so this is also applied to non Muslim so there is non Muslim in the guy that have the same etiquette that because we have good manners with everybody
one of the things that we learned from this hadith
that you don't ever held the shade bond against your brother Muslim brother or your friends don't open the door for the shaman to whisper to your friends or to your brother against you because why we said you're not allowed to make when
she's still behind me
come on take her
why we said no mana jet.
It's basically because you let the ship on start whispering he talked about you he making fun of you is this is that you see. So take from this a general meaning.
Don't take it to this weird concept bigger than the head itself, which is anything that you might
You will live upon give bad thoughts to your brothers to close the door.
And the best example of this What? Poland Debbie's asylum in Sofia in Ibiza Salaam making a decaf he stayed late in the night. And his wife was talking with him in his private tent. space in the midst. Two of the Sahaba came in the night, the sort of home of this woman, they start walking fast. He said, Hold on, hold on. This is Sophia.
And now he's almost not worried about his reputation. He was worried about them that the shape on whisper to them any thoughts that make them buy these thoughts? kuffaar because if you think Ill, Ill of Mohammed or something let's go for.
So he cared about protecting them from the whisper of the Shabbat.
Can you imagine if we take this as a concept
that you don't put yourself in a position that will people will make Riba for you?
You try your best and Irish once.
breiman I told him, let's go together. He said, I'm
blurry. I want our one I
will go walk out people will say I'm not sure our
a very I and I and when I meant together, what a company.
Then I said to him, Well, man, I
know john with the moon will get reward, and we will be committing cent. Kinda you leave alone by yourself. I'll leave later after that. finesse slam, we're slow moon Yes. And
we save ourselves and we save them from sinning.
That's why sometimes you need to make things clear. So you don't open the door for people to think and talk bad about you clarify yourself, you come forward and said, Hey, by the way, I did this, just in case, you're wondering why don't let me make assumptions.
You know, be straightforward. Hey, I did this, I established this. I started this for one to three reasons. Don't let the ship on play with my head and don't open this door for me. For your wife, for your co workers, for your basically for your friends and for your people that will work with you.
Also, this had he said you don't need he didn't he don't do anything in the gathering that make the other person feel left out. So type Can somebody tell me today an example of things that we do make people left out?
It's not as though Yes.
Very good. One of the form of technology is to speak in a different language.
We speak in Arabic, and he doesn't understand the third person
we speak in order to do and she doesn't stand or do
and that's having a lot of special sisters and brothers well. That's not right.
Unless you take permission or there is more than three
there's more than three it's up to you.
But also one of the thing is that today common and gathering that I think it is also make people feel isolated is bajans I'm talking to you and you are on your Facebook and your messages and you're not paying attention to me at all.
I'm talking to you and you're like
what this that's the kind of tenergy Minh inlet a one of the reason is not to be to feel left out and disrespect and not being part of the conversation. Also this kind of usage of data today's isolating people in the gathering is not right. or playing whatever games online and just ignoring people that's not correct.
One of the
the thing of from this hadith we learn that one of the goals of the shaman is to make you feel bad in the main network. Mina shaman liaison alladhina Amman, one of the goal of the ship and to make you upset.
Mercurial has been for an intimate
sadness never mentioned in the Quran. In any positive meaning. A negative it's absolutely nothing but negative.
Because it isn't is polarizing, paralyze you. It's tight your hand and make you unable to make anything. It just
sad. The Press
While this area, once of
goodness, mercy, love, compassionate hearing, while I'm on the opposite. So keep that in mind,
no matter how unless it a technology is allowed to use two versus one. As I said earlier, if there is basically
a permission been taken, if there is a greater Muslim, like judge, Doctor business, something like that doctor talking to his nurse, take him to consulting before he speaks to the patient. That's fine. talking to his patient and privacy private, he doesn't want someone else to hear in the office. That's all. Okay. That's heavy. It also shows that the importance of good manners in Islam
what if somebody said, Oh, he doesn't care. It's not about he cares or not. It's about you should have good manners. We should deal with people according to the our standard, not to the standard, even. We should have high standard and we treat people according to our standard.
And I will tell you a very interesting story. Abdullah, I will end with it a beloved of his son.
When the prophets Allah lies on
the line sir, at one point he was very bad to the Muslim to Muslim to Islam, within the vehcile salaam said
kill him low can estado Kava,
if you find him hiding under the curtain of a Kava killer
can imagine the crime that he made.
All of a sudden, if not a fan, or the allow an old man came holding him.
And he brought him to the process on them.
And the Sahaba was so tense the searching for him everywhere.
And he said yada yada LA,
he come to give you a bite,
to submit Himself to you.
In the visa sanlam, waited, waited, waited, waited, waited.
Then he stretched his hand, and he took his
service in surprise why the person waited this long.
Then enter the cell allow you to sell them.
He said he doesn't give them a hint that he waited for someone to strike him before he actually reach to meet the person and the prompt come out to talk to him and give him the buyout. He was hoping one of the Sahaba will
actually kill him before
then this is also la
FC, we didn't know that this is what you want. If you just give us a hint, yeah, and he will blink with your eyes give us a message of sallallahu Sallam in the hood I am not in the Navy and takuna haha
there is no profit. Well use no sign or hand or like body language to mislead or to deceive others.
Okay, and this has been good. And it is famous Heidi. And the reason the problem wait a little bit. Because this man is not Muslim yet he didn't even know if this has come to give back because you want to protect himself is really on Islam or not. And there is more detail to the story of this man. Why did he deserve that such like a harsh treatment? But after that, how does the moment is he truly shows that you want to be Muslim and to be part of society. He was accepted. But the point my point is that we should people treat others according to auto standard. Our standard is high. We don't trade we don't cheat. We don't mislead. And even if the third person does not deserve that, or
the other person doesn't deserve that respect. You do it because you respect yourself before you respecting others and was genuinely