Riyadh al-Saliheen and Women’s Q&A #16

Tom Facchine


Channel: Tom Facchine


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AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the importance of finding a solution to behavior and avoiding negative emotions, including drugs and sin. They stress the need for forgiveness and finding a way to avoid sin. They also discuss the importance of protecting privacy and privacy in Islam, including the law of dowry and giving back to a woman. They also touch on issues related to the dowry and its impact on the woman and her family.
Transcript ©
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Bismillahirrahmanirrahim and hamdulillahi rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Ashraful Mbogo saline IV you know after watching a Muhammad Ali he offered a solo ask her to sleep. Aloha Marlena we may intera. Now in fact, maybe my island Turner, was it an Ironman, Europe, Milan Amin.

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Welcome everybody to the women's class on the other side of hate and the fact of mica and women's issues in general. We'll probably do a follow up divorce after that as well.

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We have completed hamdulillah the first chapter of the amendment no always the other saw the Hain which was on intention and Mia, what if else, and now we are moving to the second chapter of his work, which is on a Toba

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is on repentance. So allow me to share my screen. We'll

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cover a couple of Hadith today in sha Allah Tala.

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the chapter on Toba, as we said, mmm, I know we style when he is going through this book is to introduce introduce a concept, maybe say a few words about it, and then to back it up with some issues some out of the Quran. So he begins by saying that when it comes to Toba repentance, scholars mentioned three things that are required for true accepted repentance. I'm paraphrasing what you see in front of you. The first is to stop doing it. Okay? How do we know that our Toba, our repentance to a lost planet to Allah is acceptable. The largest sign of that is we stop doing that offense. Right? If and this is common sense, anybody in your life if they were to transgress against you to

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do something that violated your rights.

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And they then they came to you and said, I'm sorry, please forgive me.

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And then they went right back to doing it as soon as you told them that they were forgiven this would It would seem that their repentance and forgiveness was not sincere. Right.

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And that would because that would be because it wasn't sincere. In order for repentance to be sincere, you have to stop that thing that is offensive in the first place. The second essential aspect of repentance, of seeking forgiveness from Allah Spano. Tata is feeling sorry, having what's called an Arabic and let them regret for what you do. And the scholars actually have a disagreement about the second condition. Some of them says some of them say yes, this is an absolute condition, because this is the proof of true repentance. If you repent from something, but you're not truly sorry, inside in your heart, then you haven't really honestly sincerely repented. And anybody who

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has been part of a relationship, whether it's a marriage, or a sibling relationship, or a relationship with their parents, they understand this point, right? Especially in a spousal relationship, like a marriage.

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We're very concerned about having our spouses repentance, or when they asked for forgiveness, we want to know that they mean it. We want to know that they actually feel bad. We don't want to just be appeased. someone's telling us what we want to hear. Even if they stopped doing the action. What we're really looking for is an internal regret remorse. Right? They feel bad, because why? Because why do we seek that in a marriage or any relationship because if somebody else feels bad, that they offended you, or they did something against you, that shows that they care about you? Right? And so the opposite is true. If somebody does something and it hurts you, even if they stopped doing it, if

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they don't show remorse or regret,

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it seems like they don't care about you. Right? And so the same goes to Allah subhanaw taala. If we as His servants as his creation,

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do something that Allah doesn't like.

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And then we maybe we stopped that we asked forgiveness for it, but we don't feel any remorse. What it's really showing. It's really showing that we have a deeper problem than the actual sin we committed.

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Our bigger problem is the condition of our hearts. Our bigger problem

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is that we don't feel that remorse in the first place. We don't care enough about Allah, our Creator, our Sustainer. To even really feel bad about it.

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That's a much larger problem than the sin itself. Other scholars who said that, yes, this is correct, and we should all strive to feel regret and remorse when we sin. But we can't be held accountable for something that's not in our control. Right? Because you can't fake it. When it comes to remorse or feeling regret.

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If you have that cleanliness of hearts, or purity of heart to feel regret and remorse to Allah subhanaw taala. When you do something that he doesn't like, you do something that doesn't please Him, then that's proof that you have a pure heart and that you have a strong connection with Allah. But if you don't have it, how are you supposed to conjure it up out of nowhere? How are you supposed to manufacture it somehow? And we know that within our sacred law, we're not held accountable for things that we can't have responsibility over things that are outside of our ability. Right? So we have two opinions here. One group of scholars said yes, you have to have remorse. If you want your

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repentance to be accepted a second group that said no, it would be nice, but it's not realistic to expect that of everybody and Allah knows best. The third essential component of repentance, true accepted repentance is that you make a resolution to change, you resolve to not returned to that behavior. This is very similar to the first essential component of repentance, we talked about stopping the behavior in the first place. Right? If somebody

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stops it for a little bit, but then goes back to it. You would questions? Did this person really mean it when they told me that they were sorry? Was this person's repentance really sincere? Or not? If we don't have a reckoning with ourselves, and we're kind of leaving open the back door like well, you know, I'll try to not do that. But, you know, I, you know, it might happen still sometimes, then we're not really serious when it comes to asking forgiveness and repentance. Now, this is different from a situation where if you backslide, right, because everybody backslides, I mean, sin, as we talk about in the Sunday night, class, sin has a habit to it, right? It's like, if your actions are

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like the world in front of you is like a forest.

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And every time you take a step, it's like taking an action. And you're kind of like cutting down the trees and the branches and the brush in front of you, you're creating a path, right? And every time that you take a step and create a path, you're making it easier to walk down that path the next time. Right. So this is a very similar thing to how either good deeds or sin works. Every time you make a good deed, you do something, right, you're making a pathway, you're clearing the way so that next time you come in that same situation, you're actually making it easier to do another good deed. Whereas if you chose to disobey Allah to transgress the bounds to do something that you shouldn't

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have done, then you're making it easier for you to do the same thing in a similar situation down the road.

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Right? And so

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we don't deny that this is a reality. And so if somebody sins, they might be in a habit of sin, and it might take them time to overcome that habit of sin, as we know, with things such as alcohol, for example, substance abuse, this stuff is actually chemically addictive. Right. And so we can't say if somebody like, if somebody is trying really hard and they're crying, and they're saying Allah, forgive me for abusing the substance, I really want to change this time is the time I'm going to change. And then some time later, they backslide in a moment of weakness. We can't say that their repentance was not sincere. No, their repentance was sincere, but they're struggling against the

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habit. So note the difference between the two. We have somebody who's not really committed to changing, which is what we're talking about here. And then a different scenario, which is somebody who is trying their best but backslides.

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So those are the three essential parts. We said one of them was maybe a little iffy of

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repentance or repentance that is meaningful repentance that is valid repentance that is accepted by our Lord, the Almighty Creator Allah.

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There might be another thing and additional part of repentance depending on the type of sin. It is. So a sin for example, let's say that you don't pray.

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Okay? That's one type of sin Who are you offending? Who are you making angry with? You're you're making a lot unhappy with you, You're offending against yourself. And that's it.

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What if, though, you take somebody's money?

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Yes, Allah is not happy with you, you've also done it to yourself, you've landed yourself in trouble. But also we have an added component, and added part where now we have somebody else, somebody else's rights tied up within it. And so for these types of sins, there's an extra thing that has to be done, if this repentance is sincere, and that is that the wrong has to be made, right? Okay, if it's something that was taken, then that thing needs to be given back to that person.

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If it was someone's honor, or reputation that was damaged, one needs to ask forgiveness from that person that they have damaged or

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offended against it in that way. And this is something that's extremely difficult, but extremely important.

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Because how serious is that person? Let's say that I took something from somebody I, you know, I went into their house they are that's a really nice watch, they have their, they go to the bathroom or something and I take the watch, I put it in my pocket. I go home,

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I'm sitting at home, I'm looking at this watch, mashallah, this is a really, really nice watch. And then I start to feel guilty, then I start to feel bad. And I say, you know, some kind of law, I really, really did a messed up thing, I should never have taken this watch.

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Allah forgive me, forgive me for the sin. I'm never going to take another watch again.

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And then I put it on my wrist, and I go out about my business. And I even see my friend again, who I took it from right? You would say you're not serious. You're not serious in your repentance. Because if you are serious, you would have given the watch back. This is exactly what we're talking about. Right? This is obvious. When it comes to things, material things. What's hard. What's difficult is when it's about non material things, right?

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We say something about somebody behind their back, that damages their reputation. We say that they're arrogant, or they're full of themselves, or they're stupid or whatever, it is selfish.

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It's hard to have the courage to then go up to that person

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and tell them listen, I said something about you that I shouldn't have said, and I feel really guilty about it. And I want you to forgive me.

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Why is it so hard? Because it's so easy

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to just try to hide away, asking for forgiveness exposes you.

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When if you didn't ask for forgiveness, it would have stayed a secret that person might have never known in the first place.

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So it takes a lot of courage to try to write that wrong to try to go back and do that thing and humble yourself to that person. And that's precisely the point.

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So then after these sorts of things, Mmm, no, we he cites a couple at three of them to be exact from the Quran, where Allah is telling us about Toba. He's telling us about repentance. So Allah says what's who in Allah he's me. Are you telling me know when Allah Allah come to flee? So Allah is saying in a command, imperative verb, he says, Repent to Allah, all of you, Jimmy, can

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you help me know that Allah calls us by our most beautiful name that we can have, which is all believers.

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Now, I like them to freehand so if you do, then you will be six you will succeed, you will be truly successful.

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That's in sort of the note and other sorts of stuff we will not become so Matobo Elaine sort of would

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ask Allah for forgiveness, and then return to Him with repentance, repent to Him.

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And then finally, the last idea that he mentioned. Yeah, you Halina avenue to Eve Allah He told us when I saw her

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This should be a little bit more familiar to people who have memorized a bit of the Koran and sort of came closer to the end of the Quran.

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Oh you who believe repent to Allah with a sincere repentance Toba 10 Nussle, ha.

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With a genuine repentance not just any type of repentance, not a half hearted repentance, no, a complete sincere repentance to a loss penalty on it. And this goes in nicely to the first two Hadith that we have. We'll just try to deal with these two today I think is all we'll have time with. So, number 13, which is number one in this chapter. I will hold on the Allahu Anhu. The famous companion we talked about before said, I heard the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam say,

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by Allah means he's swearing by Allah, I swear by Allah. I asked Allah's forgiveness and turn towards Him in repentance more than 70 times every day

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than the following hadith of Ibn yes or see me mdsr Moosonee said that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,

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oh, people turn in repentance towards Allah and ask His forgiveness. I turned towards him 100 times a day. Okay, so we have to Hadith giving us a demonstration, a realistic expectation about okay, how big a part of our lives should this be? Right repentance, seeking forgiveness, these sorts of things.

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The promise that I said on the saying in the first Hadith, he does it over 70 times a day, the next Hadith. He says, I do it 100 times a day.

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There's no contradiction, obviously. Because 100 is more than 70.

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Why does the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam spend so much time somebody could say Yo, Whoa, that's a lot 70 times a day, 100 times a day.

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I don't have time for that.

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I've got this to do. I've got a job. I've got my education. I've got friends, I got family.

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Okay. I want to ask such a person to try a little experiment. Some phones have this built in and other smartphones, they have a separate app that you can have, where you look at how many times you open your phone in a day.

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And I bet you if you're an average person, it's probably around 70 to 100 times a day, if not more than that.

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Let alone how many minutes you spend on your phone.

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So if every single time you open your phone, you set a stump for Allah,

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then you would be doing as much repentance as the as the Prophet SAW Allah He was

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not a whole lot. Not a whole lot over 24 hours. What's the big deal about doing repentance? Why do we have to do it?

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One of the things is that the life of a believer

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turns on

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these twin concepts The first being liquor, the second being Toba. What's liquor liquor is remembering a law. Why do we remember a law because remembering a law is supposed to stop us from doing wrong in the first place. It's supposed to keep us on the right path. And then after we make mistakes, because guess what, we are going to make mistakes where human beings is to fall. Toba is supposed to bring us back and wipe away the mistakes that we did. Right? So this is something that we as believers we believe that is the basis of our life. The vicar and Toba, vicar and Toba.

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The second thing is that there are sins that we commit that we know about. Everybody knows themselves but there's other sins that we do that we don't even realize. Do you realize every single time that you talk about someone behind their back? Do you realize every single time that you damage somebody else's honor?

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This is major that's a major sin in Islam.

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A major sin not a minor sin.

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And even though it's a major sin, it's something that's hard to even keep track of some families. Some people they do it automatically they do it like a habit gossip.

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It's like a hobby.

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And so if you come from this sort of background where this is kind of something that's very, very normal to you, you might fall into this and not even realize it.

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And as we know the big difference between a minor sin and a major sin is that a minor sin gets erased automatically with every act of worship. You do the five daily

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prayers aamra czaka, these sorts of things. Whereas a major sin is something that doesn't get automatically wiped away. It takes you specifically asking repentance, in order for it to be wiped away. So the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, he used to ask forgiveness for the sins that he remembered that he knew of, and the sins that he did was not aware of the sins that he might have forgotten. So this is the importance of repentance, having a personal devotional practice of repentance is going to take care of those things that you've done that you forgot, you didn't even realize that you were doing.

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And insha Allah will stop there when it comes to the Hadith, any questions about those particular Hadith?

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those particular issues that are brought up in those Hadith before we move on?

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Question so sincerely saying a stuff from Allah.

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T, okay, is a form of repentance. And what are some other ways of repentant, repenting?

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So yes, sincerely saying stuff for a lot is a form of repentance. Yes. Other ways of saying repentance. It has to do with it's not limited to anything. Because if you speak English, you speak Spanish you speak Tagalog, whatever language is yours. You can do it in whatever has the meaning. Okay? And Allah knows your heart. If you're trying to go about it. If you're trying to say you're sorry. Right? Then you're seeking forgiveness from Allah, if you're resolving to change and be better. You're making Toba, you're making repentance to the last panel, tada. And there's no limit on the formula or the linguistic formula that gets it that sort of feeling or that sort of practice.

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Right? So we have common formulas that we say in Arabic, because this is in the Koran. This is in the Sunnah of the Prophet slice. And I'm used to say things like this, but it's not limited. It's not limited to that there's no like secret

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potion, or secret formula that you have to use in Arabic or anything like that. When it comes to asking for forgiveness, you can do it and overdo Bengali, Swahili, Hausa would have any language

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at all, hopefully that answers your question.

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Okay, so we were talking about marriage good. And we said that the three major pillars of marriage when it comes to protecting the interests and the rights of women, there's the Wilaya, which is guardianship. There's shahada, which is witnessing, or testimony, and then there's the Mahana, which is dowry, okay? The guardianship. It is to prevent women from getting sweet talked and taken advantage of by men. And we talked about the mechanisms that are sacred law has to make sure that that guardianship is not abused. Right? Then we talked about shahada witnessing testimony, and making sure that our marriages were public. Right, that people understood in the community who is a

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married item, who is a married couple, and who's not, who is part of a family, and who is not how this gives order in society. And it also gives accountability. Right? There's no such thing as a secret marriage in Islam. And then we moved on to talk about the dowry, the Maha, which is something that the man pays to the woman,

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not her family, to the woman,

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in order to first of all serve as a symbol of his responsibility to take care of her finite financially. And secondly, as an insurance policy for the woman, to make the man have skin in the game. So that he does so that he will think twice before pulling that trigger of divorce. Because who stands to lose the most who bears the most most risk in marriage is the woman of course, if the woman has a child, that's time from her life, that she's not working and making money, you know, she suffers bodily from delivering a child, she has an opportunity cost, right? She's going to have to maybe nurse the child and all these sorts of things. Right? And so if, if they divorce if the man

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leaves, it's going to be harder on the woman than it is for the men. So, the sacred law recognizes this makes him pay a meaningful sum of money to her upfront

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so that he

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holds his horses. So he does not rush headlong into divorce without incurring some sort of loss himself. And we talked about how the the dowry should be something meaningful, okay? It should not

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in a normal situation, be something that's that's very, very cheap, right. It should be something that is meaningful and some

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thing that shows investment and we talked about some of the, I mean, I'm still new to the area, I'm still getting a sense of what is the going rate and we'll talk about that in a little bit. But however, the general thing is that don't be pressured into a cheap dowry. Don't let men make you feel like it's more pious or more religious to settle for something less than what you're worth. Because that is there the sacred law put it there to protect your rights and to protect the union. We talked about how the dowry should should be specified upfront, though it was permissible to not specify upfront and that the dowry has to be paid in full by the time that the marriage is

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consummated. Okay, when the marriage is consummated, dowry is due.

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Okay. We talked about divorce, and how if divorce happens before consummation,

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the woman still gets half of the dowry for her trouble. Okay, dowry is $50,000.

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They write the contract they are in the in the in the sacred law, they're married. They do not consummate the marriage yet.

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He gets cold feet, he divorces

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she gets $25,000 for her trouble. Okay. We talked about how if they consummate the marriage, she keeps everything

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they write the contract, dowry is $50,000. They have their wedding night they go to bed.

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As soon as that happens,

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then she gets off 50,000 He has no right to that 50,000

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Okay, that was the basic law of of dowry.

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There are a couple kinds of like loose end issues that we'll deal with today. And then next class, we're gonna get into who you can and can't matter. Okay, so one of the loose end issues is, what happens if the dowry is something that

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will separate the two issues first, something that fluctuates in value? Okay, let's give like a, an old school example. And then a new school example, old school example is like, if he gets you your gallery is like a herd of sheep. Okay, now, there might be more sheep that are born along the way. Right? Isn't that true? Or something could happen, some sort of sickness could could could happen to that flock of sheep, and you might lose a couple. Right? So what if you agreed on a dowry that was like a flock of sheep?

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And then it either increased or decreased in value? What happens and this issue of so that's the old school example, a new school example would be stocks, like if he if he for example, said that your dowry was going to be a certain percentage share in certain company, or even some any sort of asset that the value fluctuates. A house and apartment,

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something else where the value can change? What do we do? If situation one value goes up? Situation two, the value of the thing goes down.

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Situation three, the whole thing gets ruined somehow. Right? Like he promises you a car. The gallery's a car, this specific car 2020 Lexus?

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He's driving it, he already bought it. He's driving it to the marriage and then total boom,

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gone. Car. What do we do?

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There's two, there's two perspectives. I will Hanifa Imam Malik on one side and a Shafi and Imam Ahmed on another side.

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So I will Hanifa and Malik, they say that these two are similar. The husband and the bride are similar to business partners. Okay? In the sense that if the value goes up, they split the extra. If the value goes down, they both bear the loss. If the whole thing gets wiped out, well, then

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they both suffer.

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What a Shafi anathema, they say no, they said that the woman's the woman has to get half at least we're talking about if there's a divorce before consummation, the woman is going to get her dowry.

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And she'll also get the extra

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and she will not suffer the loss.

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Right. So again, now framing this you're like, Okay, this is a really specific object.

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issue why am I even like going into this? Because we said that when it comes to things where the scholars are unanimous on those things are tools in your tool belt, if you go into structure a marriage contract, okay? You know that this is the law, this is what it says, and nobody disagrees with this point. When it comes to differences and disagreements within the law, then you have the option to ask for that if you ask for it upfront. You can say if you're about to get married, you can say, Okay, if something happens, I want to still get mine. If the value changes and goes up, I want to get the, the extra. And this is something that the scholars already thought about 1000s of

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years ago, and they support you in that.

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Check this one out, this one's an interesting one. We're going to go over this one just for kind of kicks. So what if, what if the man pays the dowry upfront?

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And the woman spends her dowry before the marriage on stuff to do with the wedding?

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Right? Like the table covers, and the makeup and the hair and the dress in the seventh dresses, however many dresses you have.

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And then

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she exhausts she exhausts all of her money, all of the dowry on getting ready for the marriage. And then he divorces her before the day even comes?

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Does she get anything?

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Does he have to pay her half of that amount?

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Or is it just sorry, you already spent it. Look at the concern that the scholars have for the rights of the woman, the vast majority, three out of the four schools of law, say that she still gets half.

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If the gallery was 25,000, or let's say round numbers, $20,000. She spends $20,000. That dowry money on getting ready for the wedding.

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And then he divorces her, he's got to cough up 10,000 So that she can walk away with half of the doubt.

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I don't know any law in the world that's going to give women a better deal than that. And I mentioned a couple classes ago, or maybe last class. Ask yourself a question. You got a lot of people these days trying to say that. Maybe the scholars back then to the day Oh, they're all men. They're all just part of the patriarchy. They're all just looking out for men. I said, Look, wait till we get to the through these issues. And tell me how concerned are these male scholars for the rights of women? And for their interests? I would contend that they're very, very concerned about the what's in the best interest of women.

00:32:56--> 00:32:57

Moving on, next issue,

00:32:59--> 00:33:11

okay, we should know that it is permissible for a woman to gift to gift her dowry to her husband.

00:33:12--> 00:33:17

It is permissible to do that. I would not recommend it.

00:33:18--> 00:33:50

Except in extreme circumstances. But it is if you are in those extreme circumstances, it is permissible to gift away your dowry. It's your right and so because it's your right, you're allowed to give it up, though no one has the ability to force you or coerce you or make you feel like it's more pious to give it up. Whether that's to your father, whether that's to your male relatives, whether that's to your husband or anybody else, the dowry is yours.

00:33:51--> 00:33:53

Okay, it belongs to the woman.

00:33:54--> 00:33:58

The whole purpose of the dowry in the first place is that it belongs to the woman

00:34:04--> 00:34:19

so, based off of that, we have an issue. What if, again, we'll see the scholars in action. How good are they at looking out for the interests of women? Let's say that they agreed to a dowry $20,000

00:34:21--> 00:34:21


00:34:22--> 00:34:23

Before they get married

00:34:26--> 00:34:42

the bride decides to gift it to her husband said you know what? Maybe I love you so much. And I know you had a hard situation some something really bad happened to you and your family and your family business and stuff like that. I'm going to gift you my dowry.

00:34:43--> 00:34:45

Okay, all 20,000

00:34:47--> 00:34:48

Then what if he divorces her?

00:34:52--> 00:34:59

Does she get anything? Or is she is She beat as we used to say? I don't know if anybody uses that slang anymore. You say

00:35:00--> 00:35:01

The 90 is all your beat means like

00:35:03--> 00:35:04

tough marbles.

00:35:06--> 00:35:15

According to the majority opinion, she still gets half. We're talking about divorce before the consummation, he has to pay halftime

00:35:16--> 00:35:18

even if she gifted it ahead of time

00:35:29--> 00:35:35

Okay, the last thing that we really need to cover before concluding the chapter on marriage is

00:35:37--> 00:36:30

you there's a couple of issues, but a lot of them revolve around this idea of what I'll translate as the going rate. Okay. It's called a mountain method. Okay. So there's this concept within the sacred law that has to that establishes like a baseline, what's normal for women to receive for a dowry, and a lot of issues. If there's discrepancy, if something happens, then we return to this concept of the going rate, whether for compensation or whether for for something else, okay, which is part of my responsibility, which I have not had the opportunity to, I've only done a handful of marriage ceremonies, not very many, but to be in conversation with the other imams in the area and around to

00:36:30--> 00:36:45

identify what is kind of the going rate that we can return to in such issues. So let's say for example, that a man and a woman are going to get married, okay. And the man has not yet specified

00:36:46--> 00:36:57

how much exactly the dowry is going to be. And then he dies, something happens where he dies before the marriage is supposed to go through.

00:37:00--> 00:37:16

What is what's before it's consummated, but after the writing of the contract, so they are legally married within the sacred law, but they have not consummated the marriage. So the dowry wasn't due. And it's not even specified. This is one of those cases where

00:37:17--> 00:37:36

the woman is entitled to not just inheritance of her husband, but also to what is half of the going rates, right? Like a normal situation, except this going rate has to be established so that she can get compensation for the hardship that she went through.

00:37:41--> 00:37:42

What happens if

00:37:43--> 00:37:54

the dowry is something that's not permissible in Islam? What if the man says, All right, I'll marry you and I will give you my wine cellar? My collection of fine wines.

00:37:56--> 00:37:58

Is the marriage valid?

00:37:59--> 00:38:05

At all? Is the marriage valid, but the dowry is incorrect? What do we do?

00:38:06--> 00:38:25

Three out of the four illegal schools, they say that the contract is correct. They are married. And she he has to give her the going rate. Right. So we see how we go back to the going rate. He's not allowed to give her a wine cellar. He's not allowed to give her something haram a herd of pigs.

00:38:26--> 00:38:27


00:38:29--> 00:38:38

He has to go he has to give her the going rate and this is something that the local religious authorities are supposed to are supposed to establish.

00:38:57--> 00:38:59

What happens if there is a defect?

00:39:01--> 00:39:10

A defect in the gallery? The gallery supposed to be a car, a brand new car, okay. And

00:39:12--> 00:39:20

there's a major it's a lemon. Okay, dude, drives it up, right from the dealer, and it just falls apart.

00:39:21--> 00:39:26

As soon as he gets there. What is she entitled to get? Through no fault of his own?

00:39:27--> 00:39:30

Right, but there's a or there's a fundamental flaw in it.

00:39:31--> 00:39:32


00:39:33--> 00:39:36

There's a house for example, or an apartment and there's no kitchen.

00:39:39--> 00:39:40

Big problem, no bathroom.

00:39:42--> 00:39:45

Insufficient. A huge hole in the wall. Anything.

00:39:47--> 00:39:59

Then, in that case, the scholars they say that the woman is entitled to again, the going rate. Okay, so see how if there's something if there's any ambiguity

00:40:00--> 00:40:50

In what the woman is supposed to get as far as her dowry, and that ambiguity ends up biting her, you know, or or making her kind of take a loss, the sacred law steps in and says nope, instead of taking the loss, she's going to get the going rate. You see how that works. So the going rate is kind of like a mechanism within the sacred law to take advantage of the or to account for the leniency that's given within the process of specifying a dowry, you should notice that specifying a dowry is way easier. That's way more loosey goosey. It's it's way less restrictive, then, for example, a sales contract sales contract, you have to specify everything.

00:40:51--> 00:41:24

The dowry isn't like that. Because if it were, then it would prevent a lot of people from getting married. So there's a lot of leeway in do you specify it? 100%? What if there's some ambiguity in it? There is more ambiguity that's allowed when you when you make or when you identify a dowry. So to compensate for that reality. The sacred law has the concept of the going rate that can step in and override the dowry that was agreed upon if there's something wrong with it. That's basically what we're getting at here.

00:41:29--> 00:41:45

What is then the going rate? How do we determine the going rate? This is a fundamental issue for people such as myself, there's some different opinions, the most basic way that we can divide it is there's a group of scholars that says that the going rate

00:41:46--> 00:41:47

is determined by

00:41:49--> 00:42:00

the bride's relatives, the other women in her family. What was the dowry of her sister? What was the dowry of her aunt? What was the dowry of her cousin?

00:42:01--> 00:42:12

And then there's another group of scholars that says that no, it's not by family, it's by society and social class. Right? So what type of

00:42:14--> 00:42:24

family are they from? What's their profession? Right? What's her level of education, these sorts of things, and Subhanallah there's some issues that become

00:42:25--> 00:42:45

there's some opinions that become more and more advantageous over time. And that second opinion seems to be very advantageous to people living in this time, where we find a lot of discrepancies between siblings, siblings might have entirely different professions and careers, levels of education and things like that. And the last panel with Allah knows best.

00:42:47--> 00:42:55

Getting down to the very end here and thank you for allowing me to go over time just to finish these issues. What do we do if the two spouses disagree?

00:42:57--> 00:43:07

Regarding what they agreed to, for the dowry, they didn't write it down. The man said it was 10,000 The woman said nah, I was 20,000 Who should we believe

00:43:10--> 00:43:18

this is where we again go back to the going rate who's closer to the going rate if what the woman is asking for

00:43:20--> 00:43:33

does not exceed the going rate than the woman should be believed first. This is the opinion of Abu Hanifa and if it's well above the going rate then perhaps we consider taking the guy's opinion along those best

00:43:39--> 00:43:54

what if they disagree? Whether the dowry was transferred or not? Who should we believe the man said I gave it to you the 20,000 The woman said no, I didn't know you didn't give it to me. Then the woman has to be believed according to the majority.

00:43:56--> 00:44:04

And that pretty much brings us to the end of that that chapter on the dowry. Does anybody have any questions regarding issues of dowry

00:44:06--> 00:44:13

or anything that we previously covered there's a lot more that's coming up. Thank you for bearing with me. We went five minutes over

00:44:15--> 00:44:18

any loose ends before we dismiss?

00:44:29--> 00:44:29


00:44:41--> 00:44:59

Okay, as always, you can reach me by text or email WhatsApp, if you have anything that that comes up that you think of. And Allah subhanaw taala knows best. We seek refuge in him. For many of my mistakes. Marriage is a complicated part of it. So if I misspoke

00:45:00--> 00:45:13

or got anything misunderstood anything wrong that's from myself that will and anything correct or beneficial is from the last panel Donna and inshallah I will see you all next time does that go a lot higher on let's set up my equal offense a lot he will go catch