Path to Knowledge, Intentions, Sincerity, Motivations – My Story!

One of the first ideas

that we studied in Medina was the idea that shook me to the core like trying to close the door and there's no door

right? It's just it's just a hole.

And so somehow a lot we're driving through the streets of Medina there's no door on this van

to like Bedouins driving the van and I'm like, Where am I? What am I doing? I feel something in the back of the pickup truck move. Right? And then it's kind of dark. And this huge thing comes out of the the pickup truck and it's a camel

and I'm like, why?

Like this can't be real. Like

Bismillah salatu salam ala rasulillah who Allah Allah He will be here man whether a woman or a man or not in them and antenna in Naka antenna element Hakeem Allahumma, alumna in foreigner, one foreign Albemarle antenna was in Yoruba alameen Allah Marina Casa de tierra arena delta delta, what was the Can he never said Ahmad Aiko called one of the lucky ones, a

15 years of my life, actually more

in, in search of knowledge, and I've dedicated as much as I can, my life to seeking knowledge. And just to give you a little bit of background about myself, I actually started practicing Islam in college. And I usually say it wasn't just practicing, I consider myself as someone who accepted Islam. In college, even though my parents are Muslim. And I came from a Muslim household, we didn't really have much of Islam in my household is, I usually say it was just like a cultural version of Islam, didn't pray, didn't fast,

didn't know much about Islam until I came to college and went through whole journey and then found Islam and all that. But the people who are around me, when I came to Islam,

I was very blessed, to have people of knowledge who are around me. And so from the very beginning, be Muslim, then I'm, I have to do it properly. Right. So I don't want to be just another Muslim out there. Because for me, from my point of view, I've been around just muslims for my whole life. But they weren't there to really show me what it's not really was. And so how do I do it, where I just don't become just another passive Muslim, where it's just like, you know, it's part of my identity, like, I identify as a Muslim. But beyond that, it doesn't, it doesn't really do much in my in my life. So how can I make sure that like, if I do it, I do it properly? And the answer for me, from

the very beginning was knowledge, it was learning what Islam really is about, right instead of, you know, kind of being born into Islam and kind of like adopting the satanic identity. And just like, you know, once again, it's kind of like, like your culture, you know, you're born into it. And it is what it is, and you just you go with it, once again, a passive Muslim, I didn't want to be a passive, and that's not an official term. That's just what I call it, right? But I didn't want to be just another passive Muslim, I wanted to actively be Muslim. And that meant I need to know exactly what Islam is, I need to know and understand my faith properly. And so at that point, from the very

beginning of me becoming me accepting Islam, I started to seek knowledge. And initially, it was basically whatever was available in my area, whatever lectures halaqaat and by the way, this is, and I don't want to give away my age, but I like I have to, this is like 2003 2002. Around that time. And

Islam in America was very different back then. And there's so many places where you can go to seek knowledge and and learn. And, and I know, like, in a lot of cities, there's almost too much going on, on the weekends, like on a Friday nights, like, you know, I don't know which halaqaat to attend. You know, there's this institute doing a seminar and then another Institute is doing a seminar and then there's a there's a conference happening and sometimes there's like a conflict and like, organization getting mad at one another because there's two conferences on the same weekend, whatever. Back then that wasn't issue at all, you'd be lucky to find anything other than something

just happening in your machine. So for me, it was you know, I'll just attend anything that was that was going on. And that was actually around the time. I believe it was 2003 if I'm not mistaken.

When automotive started and back in automotive started, there was no nothing like it, right. There was no there were no seminars, especially

In the way that I started doing it, it was something very, very new. And so I tried to attend everything that I could. And then I remember, I used to commute to school. And my commute was it was a long commute about 45 minutes on the way there, I would listen to anything that I get my hands on. So the whole ride there, the whole ride back. And, and I know subpanel sometimes we think about

listening to stuff like in the car. And we think it's not significant. I actually look back at that, at that time in my life. And I actually learned a lot in those few years that I was listening to stuff in the car. And for me when I when I actually went to Medina and when I went in start, like full time Islamic Studies, I had a good basis because of all that time that I'd spent like in the car, just listening to lectures. So from there, it's like I wanted to take the next step. And I wanted to go study Islam full time. And I happen to have didn't

have the chance the opportunity to go to Medina and study and I spent about seven years there studying. And that's been my journey. And even till today, I still consider myself a student of knowledge. I don't think you ever stop learning. You continued to learn. And so a topic like this, you know, when I speak about knowledge, it's not just like, it's not like a theoretical topic for me. For me, this is like for me, this is very, very real. For me when you know when we hear the heads of the meme where he said mancilla Kataria, can you help me Sufi here in the lobby today agenda, that whoever takes a path in search of knowledge that Allah will make their path to gender

easy. That for me is not just another Heidi that's like, that's like a motto for me in life. Right? Like I'm counting like, I'm banking on that headache, right? I'm like, this is my idea, right? So inshallah tada like, I decided to take a path in search of knowledge, and I hope and I pray that Allah, Allah makes my path to genda easy, because I know in the end of the day, I am flawed, right? I'm a human being I make mistakes, I commit sins. I have faults and shortcomings like we all do, right? Like we're all human beings. But the very fact that percent of has said that if we make that intention, right, if we do have the intention to seek knowledge to get close to Allah, Allah to

Allah, that despite whatever difficulty we may go through in life, and despite how difficult we find we may find Islam to be. Which by the way, I know a lot of times we as Muslims feel

that Islam is only difficult for us, right? So we look at everybody else. And we're like, they're having a very easy time with Islam, right? Like, they're doing great, and they're practicing and they're, and they're praying, they're fasting and whatever else that they're, they're fine. And Islam is just difficult for me. The reality is that everyone finds Islam to be difficult. And it's by the way, a big misconception that Islam is supposed to be easy. And that man that misconception there is a hadith that I sent him where he said Edina, Edina yourself, right that their religion is ease. And some people understand from that, that religion is supposed to be easy. That's not what

this hadith means. The main meaning of this headache is actually that Islam brings about ease, like our religion brings about ease and one of the biggest and most important ease that our religion brings to us, is the ease and satisfaction of our heart. Right that our heart finds ease, not that we're going to be in physical ease, or we're not going to or not, we're not going to face any difficulty. That's not that's not what Islam is. And I hate to break it to you tonight.

But yeah, Islam means we are going to face difficulty Islam is not supposed to be easy. But despite that difficulty,

we hope that if we are seeking knowledge that our past agenda in childhood to be easy, and this is something

that the companions of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam understood, because you know what, it's not just one Hadith, we have multiple Hadith, in which the prophets I send them encourage the companions to seek knowledge. And so for them, you know, when when the President have brought the message of Islam, their main goal is gender. Right? Their main goal is like we got to do whatever we can do to get to gender. And so in the process, Adam says seek knowledge, learn your deen learn your faith, and your your path to paradise will be easy. That's it once again, they understood that is the path to gender, knowledge learning, Allahu Allah tada says, farlam a no la ilaha illa Allah know

that there is no one worthy of worship other than Allah, meaning our knowledge comes before everything else that we do. And that is why our scholars email me Bahati got him a lot of data in his sohei. He has a whole chapter titled

And only when that knowledge precedes speech and action, knowledge comes before action and speech, right that if we don't know, then how can we act upon something that we don't know? And we don't understand. And so we've had a lot in our times in 2020. That is extremely relevant. Because we live in a world where we act and we speak oftentimes, without having all the facts without knowing, right, we're very quick to give our opinion, we're, we're very quick to, to express our point of view, in our opinion, even if we may not be fully sure of all effects, even if we don't have all the knowledge and we don't truly understand it's like, I have to express my opinion, like I have to be

heard. And this, this need to be heard. Right. And it's, it's very dangerous. I mean, you know, honestly, it's extremely dangerous. Yeah, in worldly matters, but but specifically, when it comes to matters of law, and matters of the deen of Allah has Panama data to speak without knowledge is a very, very serious matter. And that is why our scholars of the past, if you look at the way they were, when it comes to speaking about Islam, they were extremely hesitant. They were they were they were, they were very reluctant to say anything on behalf of Allah and His messenger. Right. And I feel like it's the exact opposite in our times, like everyone wants to be the voice of Muslims.

Everyone wants to be the voice of Islam. Everyone wants, everyone wants to give their opinion. And we're so quick to do it. Right. And my proof for that is just log on this log onto social media as soon as something happens in the world. Right? Something happens on you know, y'all know about Muslim Twitter, right? What is Muslim? Twitter? Everybody's just giving their opinion, right? They have something to say they're like, I'm Muslim. So I have to give my opinion. Right. And we're not talking about I'm not talking By the way, I'm not talking about scholars here. I'm talking about just the average person, right. So when we just did may not even know a lot about the religion of

Islam, the scholars of the past.

Imam Malik, for example, it's been narrated upon him that he would say that when someone would ask me a question, something about Islam, he said, I would I would envision myself standing between heaven and hell. And then what I'm about to say, could either take me to the Hellfire or it could take me to paradise. And so he would say, like, I'd feel the weight of, you know, speaking on behalf of Islam. And on one occasion, a man came to me my medic and asked him a question and this man, he thought, it's a very simple matter, right. He asked him for a fetter on something. He just wanted the stomach ruling in Imam Malik. He said to him, he said that he did it. He said, I don't know.

And the man he got frustrated with the amount magmatic. He said, Look, it's not a big deal. It's not a big thing that I'm asking you about. And we don't know what he asked him. It might have been something that seems simple, right? And he said, it's just, it's just a small matter. Like, why is this such a big deal? And you might have said, You think this is a small matter? Haven't you heard a lot who's panula data tell the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in Santa Clara alayka colon certina that we're we are sending down upon you a heavy, a heavy word. Alright, and this is who this is the prophets of Allah who Allah He was sending them who Allah was reminding the Prophet Mohammed

I send them, what we're giving to you is not a light matter. This is very serious. This is this is a heavy word. It's a heavy, heavy matter. And so what about those who came after the process? Send them? Right. So you magmatic would say, Don't tell me this is a light matter? This is why my medic would say, oftentimes you would use known to say, well, lo, he would say I don't, I don't know and a lot knows best. And that's why one of my teachers from Angela, he said, a an indication of a person of knowledge is how much they say, will love them.

Right? If you find a scholar or a speaker or someone that they say Allahu Allah a lot, inshallah, tada, that's a good sign. Right? Allah knows best. Because they know that they will always be limited in their knowledge, especially when speaking on behalf of Allah, who's penalty era. And it means that on a certain level, at least they feel the weight of what they're talking about. And that is why going back to the companions of the SLM, that's why they understood this as well. And they understood the responsibility of seeking knowledge and speaking on behalf of Islam as well. And that's why, you know, we say the scholars of the past but I mean, even going back to the companions,

they were reluctant to give an opinion on a matter. And this is these are people who, who, who took directly from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. These are people who motive motive

motivated by the words of them I sent him, you know, I send them in a in a famous Hadeeth the person send them in, as mentioned in Timothy and others or send them said,

he said in an earlier ama, what a subtle ambia? He said, The LMR the scholars, they are the inheritors of the prophets. He said for in for Indian ambia nam you are leso dinar on what are their hammer? He said, Sorry, sell them. He said, because the the prophets, they don't leave behind any type of wealth and type of money.

What do they leave behind

in knowledge.

And so the companions, they understood this responsibility that they were taking from the Prophet salallahu alaihe was setting them that this is now they're they're carrying on the mantle, from the presence of them, they are delivering from the presence of them to everyone else. And likewise, the scholars who come after the companions and every generation to come, it is very important that people have knowledge, they understand that it's not just knowledge. There they have inherited from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And from the prophets that came before the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sending them. And so yes, it is, it is a big responsibility, but the reward of

that is also very great. And so when I sent him said a lot makes their path to Agenda easy it is because the more sacrifice as something requires, obviously, the greater the reward. And I say this because once again, coming back to our times, it's very interesting to analyze the environment that we find ourselves in once again, I'll give you an example from my life. Back when I and I'll just tell you, like back when I went to go study in Medina, this was 2005, then I went, and once again, Islam in America was very different back then, there were no Institute's, there was no places like so. And I say this, because when I went to go study, and when people during my time, and a lot of

the speakers that you know, today, it was around that time that they went to go study and before that, we didn't know what's going to happen when we like, we didn't know what's gonna happen after we finish our studies. Right? We didn't know like, we didn't know if we're gonna come back out, are we gonna have a job, where we're going to work, how we're going to make a living, I remember specifically,

people in my family coming to me. And they would say, like, Listen, you're just an I just graduated from college. They said, Look, you graduated, you just graduate from college, maybe you should go do your masters and look for jobs, and you're dropping everything. And you're going to Medina to go study Islam? What are you going to do? Like, how are you going to make a living? How are you going to support a family? Like who's going to hire you? And once again, there were no Institute's back then, it wasn't as easy as like, you know, let me go to and even in the midst in the machines, handleiding moms today get paid? I don't want to say great, they get paid. Okay. Right. Depending on

where and obviously, the type of community it is, but they can get by back then. imams weren't getting paid anything.

Right? And so people are like, what are you going to do? And the answer I had was, I don't know. I don't know. But I know that my teachers told me and my mentors told me that if you're sincere in seeking knowledge, then Allah will take care of you. right not to say that we don't take the means obviously we like we take the means to provide for a family, obviously.

But know that if you're doing this for the sake of Allah, Allah to Allah, then Allah will take care of you.

And I often think about Abu huraira, the Allah Allah, Allah, who was, you know, a leader. He was in his tribe, he he was someone of status. And when he came to the party to send them, he dropped everything. And he wanted to spend time with him. He he had he was, you know, he wasn't married, he didn't have a family, his business, nothing. Right, you put it all aside and you just spent time listening to them. And a lot less Tim and a lot less Tim with an amazing memory as well. And that's why today, he is the top narrator of headphones, send them so every time every time we say we narrowed head Ethan's narrative I will put out and by the way, if you ever listened to someone

speaking in the narrative, how do you think they if they tell you the narrator, in many cases, if not most, it is about what is narrated every single time we do that a lot of the a lot I know a lot about who he gets reward for that. Right? So look at how Allah who's part of that and by the way later on, and that was that was during the life of the person, send them after person and passed away. Actually Abu huraira had a business and he you know, he was he was actually well off later on in his life. But during his life, he would

Amongst the I have a sofa which are like the, the poorest of the poor, who would be at the mercy of the prophets, I send them Abu huraira we have narrations upon about Abu hurayrah, there were times where he would be starving, he would have nothing to eat, he would say, like, I feel my stomach would be caving in. Right? This is the like, this is how much of the dunya of the worldly life and worldly pleasures he sacrifice to learn from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam but a lot took care of him. Right. So, now you've had a lot 2020 right. So 2000 whatever. I said, 2005 2020 I have a like, a lot of young people come up to me.

And sometimes, you know, people, like, you know,

they're like, you know, I admire you and I look up to you, and I'm like, okay, that's great. But every time I hear that,

the same thing is going through my mind. And that is why, like, why do you admire me? Right? And I don't often ask, but sometimes I do. So unlike a young person comes up to me, and they're like, you know, I admire you and I look up to you, and, and sometimes I'll literally have someone say, like, I want to do what you do.

And I'm like, Okay, all right, what do I do?

And I'm hoping that they won't say, you know, you speak to a lot of people. And, you know, you go and you travel and you lecture and I'm like, that's not what I do. Right? Because of that is my intention than there's something wrong and my intention, my intention has to be that what I do is I try to call people to Allah. I try to remove ignorance from people. I try to teach people the deen of Allah Subhana Allah. And if my intention isn't that

then my intention is messed up. Because knowledge seeking knowledge is there anybody

seeking religious knowledge seeking Islamic knowledge is not like other matters.

Seeking Islamic knowledge is there a bird and a bird that has to be done with sincerity, if it is doesn't have sincerity, then we are failing at what we are doing. Just like our prayer and our fasting and so on and so forth. They have to be done for the sake of Allah Subhana, WA, tada, we have to have a class, we have to have sincerity in C in doing all those matters. If we're not doing it for loss of data, then our reward, then our reward is missing. Right? seeking knowledge, learning and even teaching, right? If we're learning and teaching Islamic knowledge. If it is Quran, and Sunnah, then it becomes a burden.

And then has to be preceded it has to have a floss, it has to have sincerity with it. And I'm hoping this young person, you know, I often said like I said, not always but sometimes I say, Okay, what do I do? My next question is, why?

Why do you want to do what I do?

Why do you look, why do you look up to me? And I'm hoping that they won't say, you know, what, because you're famous.

You know what, because, you know, you get to speak in front of a lot of people, and you get to be on stage and, and this and that, or whatever it is. And I'm not gonna lie to you, I've heard that I've and, and, and it breaks my heart. And I always want to, like, grab this young brother, and be like, Listen, we need to have a long talk. Because I feel like something like something is lost in translation. Because if that's what it's that's the impression that I'm giving, then I don't know if I'm doing my job properly.

If the impression that I'm giving by, by my speaking and teaching is that I'm doing this to be known to be famous to be liked to be accepted, then I've failed. Because I know some Abdullah, one of the first Hadeeth that we studied in Medina, was a hadith that shook me to the core is the Hadith of the first three people to enter the hellfire. And I just want, I just want to paint a picture for you. I want to give you some context.

I had left. I graduated from college, I'd actually even gotten a job, right. I was going to start my my life, my normal life. And then I got accepted to Medina. And by the way, I had applied three times,

two times prior to my acceptance, I hadn't gotten accepted. And I had given up and I'm like, Alright, it's not meant to be I'm not going to get in to the Islamic University of Medina, whatever. And then a friend of mine came to me and he said, Listen, I'm sending my papers. Why don't you send your papers with me? And I'm like, I've already applied twice. Obviously, it's not meant to be it's not going to happen. And then he said, Look, I'm sending my papers just just yet you already have them. They're ready to send them again.

And I'm like, Alright, fine, and I gave him my papers.

I honestly forgot about it. Until I one day in the morning, I got a call. And my friend, he's on the other line. And he says what before he even says salons he says to me, Bushra, he says good news. And I'm like, Wait, what?

Like put it to me. And for some reason, even though I hadn't thought about it in months, I knew exactly what he's talking about. Right. And I got it. And it was very unexpected. For me. I was not expecting for this to happen. So I literally dropped everything. And I left. Right. I left. That that's it. So you know, that's in my mind like that, that that journey of seeking knowledge of how to look,

honey, that's how it began. I left everything I saw. I, I graduated, my life was set, but I dropped everything. And that was my journey. And now I traveled to a foreign land, which to me, Saudi Arabia was a foreign land. I've never lived there. Right.

I never lived in the Middle East. Like I didn't, I didn't know what life was like over there. And

it was I'll be I'll just be honest with you. It was it was hard for me like living in Saudi Arabia, the culture is very different. There's stuff about Saudi culture, I'm not really a big fan of right. I don't want to get into details here. I don't want to offend any Saudis in the house, right.

But it was it was very difficult for me to leave my family, my friends and everything that I know and go and live in the middle of the desert. And look, I'll just, I just, I'm not sure I'm getting across how weird it was. Let me give you an example.

My first and I've never told this before this incident. I like people who are close to me know this story. But I've never publicly told this story. I don't I don't believe

the first day so I, you know, I had been to Saudi Arabia once before for Morocco. But I never went out in like in so when you go to Saudi for Omar, you don't really see Saudi, right? You see, like, macadam II, like see the domain, right? But you don't really go out and see like, the real Saudi Arabia. So I never really seem like Saudi society. I remember I got by the time I got to Medina.

It was like 1am. Right? It's really late in the night.

I got out in the airport. And I didn't know like, who I don't know what to expect. You know, like, you have orientation here. Everything's laid out, you know exactly what's gonna happen ahead of time. Nothing, right. I literally had like a piece of paper. With me, the only proof that I'm like, supposed to be studying here in this university. So like, I roll out of the plane, I get my bag. And I'm like, I have this piece of paper. I'm in a foreign land. It's 1am. Like, I don't know what's going on. And there's like, these two bedroom look looking dudes

who are at the airport, and they look at me. And they're, like, bought it bought it into thought it in the toilet. Right. And, like, I'd studied Arabic before that, so I you know, I can get by? And I'm like, I walked up to them and I'm like, Yeah, okay, um, yeah, I'm a student. I got accepted. They're like, Okay, come with us. Right.

Okay.

You know,

they look like they knew what they were talking about.

We get into so they miss and there's a few other students there as well. It wasn't just me. I just feel their students, right.

We get into this, this band, right and it sounds fun.

We get into this van.

It gets better. It gets way better. Trust me. We get into this van. They put our luggage in. And I like try to close the door. And there's no door.

It's just it's just the whole

and so some had a lot. We're driving through the streets of Medina. There's no door on this van.

To like Bedouins driving the van and I'm like, Where am I What am I doing?

And then, you know, get to the university, a lot of stuff happened, whatever, they registered me and all that kind of stuff. And they showed me to my room. My room was like, on the other side of campus.

Medina, the campus is very large, actually even larger now. But my, my building was like the last building.

I was on the fourth floor, which is the last floor no elevators, I have my bags, like all the way up to like fourth floor. It was the last room because I was one of the first students in my building to to get to Medina. Anyway, that happened and they said they you know, some of the other students they told me, they said, Look, it's almost time for fragile, you're going to hear the other and just follow the event and there's a mission on campus. You can go pray there, and then we'll meet all the other students there. I was like, right straight.

The craziest thing happened when I was walking to the machine, so it's dark, right?

Then aphasia is going off.

And I'm walking on campus. And there's a pickup truck that I walked by.

Right? It's just, you know, it's like this cars parked on campus.

And all of a sudden, I feel something in the back of the pickup truck move, right? And then it's kind of dark. And this huge thing comes out of the, the, the the pickup truck, and it's a camel.

And I'm like, What? Like, this can't be real. Like, I'm like, this is so surreal, right? This random camel in the middle of the night, just chillin in the back of a pickup truck.

Right? So this is where I was like, This is what was going on for me, right? I was completely out of my element here. Like I didn't know what's happening. But that was the first day the first night and then I got through 100 illa. But then, now, about a month in a couple weeks in one of the first Hadeeth that we cover, is the Hadeeth of the first three people to enter the hellfire.

And who are the first three people to enter the Hellfire? Well, we learned that one of them

is a person in one narration is is a is a scholar who learned the religion of Allah and taught it to other people. And in one narration, a half of the Quran, who learned it and taught it die lemon Khurana Allah, he learned the Quran and he he taught it to others, right.

And the second person is a person who gave charity. Right? philanthropist helped other people. And another one is someone who fought in the path of a lowest penalty. Right? who defended Islam.

And these people are brought to Allah subhanaw taala, the scholar is brought in front of Allah. And Allah questions the scholar and says, Why did you learn? And this scholar will say I did it for your sake, Oh Allah.

And Allah will say, can

you lie? That's not why you learn the religion of Allah. You only did it. So people would say, look how great he is. Look how knowledgeable he is. Look how much he knows.

And this person is told, work on clean. And it was said, right? That's what you want it right. That's why you learn the deen of Allah to Allah. And you got that? It was said.

And likewise, the person who gave charity is asked Why did you give charities he says I gave it for your sake. Oh Allah. And Allah says, No, you are lying. You did it. So people would say Look how charitable he is. Look how generous he is with other people. And it was said, and the person who defended the dino last and tiara is asked why did you fight? Why did you defend the deen of Allah has kind of data. And he says I did it for your sake or law. And the law says no, you lie. He only did it. So people would say how brave you are to be known.

And it was said, and this person now is for Cerebro Allah what g we're in the key of E now the person is dragged on their face. And they're thrown into the hellfire. And our scholars say that the person has dragged on their face because the face is the Macondo shut off is the place of honor. Right?

And also the faces what we recognize. So someone who does these things to be recognized, right? That their humiliation is also in their face as well.

And so I heard this head needs to panela and I was I I'm like ready to pack my bags and go home.

I'm like, I'm not going to spend the next six years of my life

in the desert, right away from my family away from our friends away from like, the comforts of of like, American life away from just certain things, man like I don't know, you know, we're used to like soft laundry, like clothes come out the laundry, they're soft.

And I was living in Medina, like we didn't have a dryer. There were no dryers, right? You wash your clothes in the first couple years. I still wash my clothes by hand and you put them out in the sun to dry and it's so hot. So had a lot like you put them on the clothesline. You put your It's so crazy. You put your clothes out. You start and by the time you have your last clothes hung up, the first one's already dry. Right? That's how hot it is. But it's like cardboard, right? It's like really hard. And then all your shirts are stretched out and your colleges it's just

so you know, whatever. Doesn't seem like a big big deal, but it adds

I left you know fabric soft

And, and dryers and like, you know, this this nice these these clothes that I don't know, man, it's beautiful when you take clothes out of a dryer and you put them on, especially in the wintertime, and it's warm and it's fresh, and it smells nice handed in law, right? It's so amazing.

So I didn't leave all of that right to be the first person to be thrown into the hellfire.

Right. And it was very scary for me

is very, very scary for me. And I was ready to quit. And I remember I went to one of my teachers and I said, Look, I can't do this. I can't continue like this. Because I don't know if I can ever be 100% sincere and humble enough. My one of my teachers gave me one of the best pieces of advice I've been given in this matter. And he said, Look, it's the issue is not that you have to be sincere 100% of the time, 100% sincere 100% of the time, because you're a human being. And as a human being, you're not perfect, and you're gonna make mistakes, and you cannot be 100% sincere 100% of the time. But you have to try always, you have to be concerned, always. And as long as you keep being

concerned, you're going to keep checking your intentions, you're going to keep renewing your intentions, and that is what is required of you. Right. So that is what the path of knowledge requires from us. Right that we keep checking our attention that we keep checking ourselves because of the dangers

of the issue of seeking knowledge. Literally, there's a Hadith of the Prophet Selim, that describes our time right now. The Prophet sallallaahu send them

he tells us about a person who seeks knowledge, but their knowledge will take them to the hellfire.

What type of person is this? This is the person the person who's the person tells us who sought knowledge, for three reasons. Number one, to boast amongst the scholars. right to say, I'm a scholar as well. Right to have that rank, to be amongst the scholars.

Number two, to argue with the foolish to argue with the ignorant. You need to be able to say I know what I'm talking about, and you don't know what you're talking about.

Right.

Number three, the president of said Leah three fabu Hannah's LA to turn the faces of people towards themselves.

This is exactly the fitna that we are dealing with today. And that's why for me I consider seeking knowledge. Yes, that is a that is a challenge and we need encouragement. We should be seeking knowledge, but one of the biggest fitness that people that students of knowledge are facing today. Anyone doing anything good as a matter of fact, not just knowledge, knowledge is one aspect anything good is this fitna this trial,

the trial of Maria

what is the idea is to want to be seen, right to do something not for the sake of Allah to Allah, but to be seen.

The fitna of Sumatra. What is Summa Summa is to want to be heard, right to want to be to want to be known. That is what Summa is, the fitna of urgent, what is their job? Our job is to want to be liked to want to be to want to people to talk about you and say, Oh, how amazing is he? How amazing? Is she?

Right? Because we live in a world where for us, things don't matter unless people hear about it. Right? That's, that's the world, that's the world we're living in. And maybe in our dunya, we could give it a pass. Right? Someone wants to become a doctor. And it's like, I want to become a doctor because I want to be known as I don't know, a really good doctor, right? Or I want to be known as like, whatever I want to have. And and, you know, people can become arrogant in whatever profession they have, right? I want to become a surgeon because I want to be known as like the top surgeon or whatever. Like I want people to recognize me for the hard work that I put in, in school, I went to

medical school, et cetera, et cetera, cetera, fine in this life, you get a pass. But when it comes to our relationship with Allah subhanaw taala.

When it comes to seeking knowledge, when it comes to acts of worship, when it comes to anything that we are doing

as worship,

then it is extremely, extremely, extremely dangerous. And Subhanallah This is why and I know people don't like it when I say this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I always get really weirded out when I see people posting their good deeds online.

Right. Look, we live in we live in a culture, we live environment, we post everything online, right? And yes, we want to share our happiness with everybody, I get that I understand it, right?

Somebody achieved something and or they accomplished something, whatever, like we need everybody to know. Right? Hopefully, it's not showing off thing. Hopefully, it's just wanting to share happiness for other people. I'll give everybody the benefit of the doubt, right? how they look, we're not judging anybody here, right?

But the reality is when it comes to our acts of worship, and putting them on display, like and I know, look,

I know what happens. And if, if one of you have done it, I am not judging you at all right? I'm not saying that's your intention. But somebody who, like people who make ombre for example, and they're like, here's the key, here's me What's up? I made it may Allah except look at my mom, right? Boom, shaving my head, you know, whatever.

I'm not judging your intention. I'm not judging this individuals intention. Insha Allah, The intention is I want to share my happiness with other people.

But when it comes to acts of worship, we have to be very, very, very careful. Even our Salah we have parts of our Salah that are done in congregation. Right. And that's a whole nother topic, the importance of community, the importance of doing things public. Yes. community in Islam is extremely important. That's why some are some of our acts of worship are legislated to be done in public together. But then there are there's part of our Salah that is to be prayed in the privacy of our own homes. And that is why the Sunnah of the person sending them is to pray your father in the masjid and pray your son knows where at home. Right You can pray Your son is in the machine as well.

But it is recommended it is better to pray your son at home. Right? The first sentence said do not make your homes like the graveyards, or like the burial site, meaning we don't pray. We don't pray a lot in the in the in the burial site or something. Don't make your homes like that. Right? And so the normal practice of them was to pray the prayer, do your obligation come be part of the community pray together, right? Feel the Brotherhood and the sisterhood. Ask about one another take care of one another. But in the end of the day, remember that there's a part of your spirituality that requires Hello Mr. Allah, that requires you to be alone with Allah who's conduit to Allah.

And I fear for myself and I fear for this generation, because everything is public. So what is left of our spirituality when everything is public, everything is done for the eyes of other people. Everything and look, this door of the chiffon is so scary, because we can start something with sincerity.

Done purely for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala.

But then later, Ria and silver in the urgent enters our heart, right? For example, a person says, Okay, I'm going to go pray in the masjid.

And I'm going to pray my son in the motion handler know, they're not trying to pray to show off or anything like that, right? They just want to pray. And so they pray in the masjid. And they decide they're going to pray their son or their son knows. And they're going to add some extra Noah thing or whatever. You know what, I just feel like I need a lot more today. I need more spirituality. So I'm just gonna find a nice place in the masjid. And I'm going to pray right handed and sincere with the last hour. And then later on, someone comes and says, Mashallah, you know, I, you're just, you're just such a big motivation for me. I saw you praying, and you're so dedicated, and it looks

so sincere, and you look so into your saw so much for sure. Like your heart was tied into it. And then the shear bond comes and says, Yeah, homie, you're awesome.

You got this, right, you got this, this is you like, you see, you're great. And then we start to feel good about our prayer, not just our prayer, we will start to like and enjoy people praising us, because the chiffon knows it is part of our nature

to like being liked, right? We all like to be appreciated. We all like to be recognized. And there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that. But when it takes away from our intention, our motivation of worship, that's when it becomes a problem.

And that is why we need private worship. We'd worship that nobody can mess with. For example, piano

Ladies standing the night in prayer, right? My one of my teachers, he said to me, he said, Any student of knowledge, who doesn't pray at the young

will not last.

They're not going to be able to continue. Right? their responsibility will be too much. They're going to give up.

Why? Because the yam is it is training for our neffs. Because when you get up in the last night of the night, and you pray, everybody else is asleep, your family's asleep, you know, your, your, your siblings, or your your spouse, depending on if you're married or not, or whatever, your parents whatever it may be, right? Or if you're living in a dorm, your roommates probably asleep, right, and you get up. And in the darkness of the night, you maybe turn on like a little small, little light.

And you pray.

You have no choice but to be sincere. You have to pray for the sake of trying to Allah, the only way you could mess that up is to be like, I pray to Him will lay it out.

Right.

But if you don't do that,

you mess it up later. Yeah.

But if you put your phone aside, you know, close your mouth, don't talk about it the next day. And at least in that moment, right? We have no choice but to be sincere. No one's watching us. No one's looking at us. No one knows what's happening.

Right We have to be sincere and that is training for our knifes because we will be challenged. Right? We cannot give up these acts of worship just because people are going to praise us. We can't stop doing good because we're going to be recognized. Right That's part of life. But is our enough's are we trained our is that is our soul trained to deal with that type of attention. Because we're lucky that is fit enough.

That is a test that is enough, that is trial for the longest amount of data when we when we are recognized for any goodness that we're doing.

Right, that is a trial. And once again, I'll tell you another trick of the ship on the Shi athon when you're doing something good. And then people start to praise you for it or recognize you for the ship Dawn's gonna come and say, Oh, look,

you're not being sincere, because you liked it. When they praised you. Right? You liked it when they when they said good things about you. And so you're not sincere. And so you should just give up. Don't do it. How many people leave off doing something good

for the fear of being insincere. I know people like this. I know a father of the Quran, people will memorize the Quran, and they sit in their house, and they don't teach anybody they don't leave prayer. And and you talk to me like why Allah gave me the Quran, you memorize the Quran? What are you doing sitting at home?

And it's the Shabbat This is from the ship on the ship wants you to leave this action. Right? What are we supposed to do? Well, we're supposed to sit through the Ministry of Energy, we seek refuge and love from the chiffon. And we continue to do that action, but we work and struggle with our intention.

That is jihad. That is the work that is required of us. Right. And that is why I continue to speak about the importance of seeking knowledge, even with the rise of like celebrity Imams and celebrity chefs and all the problems that come with that. Right. For me, there's still a lot of good in celebrity culture. Because I know that sometimes this young kid that I spoke about earlier, who's like, I want to be like you I want to be famous or whatever. That's a problem. But all we got to do is point him in the right direction or her in the right direction. Because the the they're what they want to do is good. They want to learn Islam, they want to teach us now that's good. We just got to

show them how to do it. Right? The answer isn't No, you shouldn't study Islam. You shouldn't learn the deen right, you should. But let me teach you of the importance of doing it for the right reason. Why are you seeking knowledge? Is it to be known? Is it to be recognized? is it to have a following online? Is it to get popular or whatever it may be? Right? Or is it

I want to remove ignorance from myself to site so I can worship Allah subhanaw taala is it that I want to inherit from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is it that Allahu Allah to Allah has said in my ox, Allah, him and everybody

that it is only and only the Lama who can truly properly have the huskier of Allah subhanho wa Taala

the consciousness the God consciousness, the reverence of Allah, the way a scholar can worship Allah, no one can

Because a scholar worship Allah has panela to Allah with knowledge. When a scholar worship Allah, they're worshiping Allah with knowledge. without knowledge, we cannot worship a lot properly. And that is why for any act of worship, we do, there are two basic conditions that have to be met. Number one, it has to be done sincerely for the sake of a law. Number two, it has to be done properly. We have to know how to worship a law. Right? Can we make up our own acts of worship? Yes or no? Can I stand up in the middle right here and start jumping up and down and being like, this is my a shot prayer

is okay.

Like, Hey, excuse me, leave me alone. This is my prayer. No. Why not? Because the person that said saw Luke Amaro at Memorial suddenly pray as you see me praying, right? I don't make up the prayer, I don't make up worship. It is the Prophet of Allah cellulites, and them who taught us how to worship Allah.

And I won't know how to worship a lot unless I have knowledge. Now, once again, knowledge precedes action, and speech. We have to know how to worship. And this is why if I said I said, 51 warhead, I said do on a ship on min alpha bit, a single scholar is more severe against the Shia bond than 1000 worshipers. Why? Because 1000 worshippers can be worshipping Allah has tried to out but there were a lot incorrectly.

Right? Do Jews and Christians and other people other faith worship God?

Yes or no? Yeah, they worship God. Right? But there's a difference. Right? There's a problem of of knowledge there. Right? So what's the difference between Muslim and and and a Jew and a Christian, whatever else? knowledge, the knowledge of the last kind of Allah? Right? The knowledge of what Allah wants from us, what is required of us how we worship, Allahu Allah.

Right. That is that is the importance of knowledge. Right? So it has to be done correctly. And that is why the companions Yes, once again, we find they were very careful when it came to the novelist kind of data. Right, but at the same time, they were motivated.

And that's why we have and it's very interesting to have had a lot amongst the scholars amongst the companions. A lot of them were the younger companions.

Even a bus had been irmo even Mr. Rude, young companions, right? Young companions, why? They had they had the motivation, right? They knew that they're young, they spent maybe less time with the person sending them, they knew that they wanted, there's one thing they're going to dedicate their life to, is going to be learning the deen of Allah Subhana tiada. They knew they heard that the person said that a scholar, a person who who seeks knowledge that everything in existence makes the offer this person, even the fish in the ocean, make the offer this person.

This is the rank that Allah has given to the people of knowledge.

They knew that this the the scholars, the people of knowledge they inherited directly from the prophets. They knew that the President said that the merit the superiority of a scholar fatherly Alimi, either they added the superiority of a limb of a scholar over a worshipper. In the first sentence said carefully, Allah adrenochrome, he said is like my merit, my superiority over the least of us have had a lot.

Can you imagine how person compares to the least of us? That is how a person described how much how superior?

A scholar is to someone who just worships Allah. Right without knowledge. Right? This is the path that that the companions of the Prophet summon why send them chose. And that is why, like I said, this topic for me, is a topic that is close to my heart. Because I believe once again, I don't believe we need to tell people to stop seeking knowledge because there's a problem with our intention. Yeah, we need to talk about intentions. And we need to clarify that things need to be done for the sake of a last minute to Allah. And I will give this reminder over and over and over and over again.

Because we need to correct our intentions over and over and over and over again, and will lie This is for my benefit, and it's for your benefit as well. But at the same time, we have to talk about the amazing blessings that Allah Subhana Allah gives to people who seek knowledge. Now one of the last things I want to speak about today

is the issue of

seeking knowledge. And maybe some of this we can cover more in the q&a inshallah Tada.

But one of the

tricks of the chiffon regarding knowledge is putting us in these nice, neat little categories. What do I mean by that? scholar, non scholar, student of knowledge, non student of knowledge. What does that do? Well, what that does is people say either I take the path of knowledge or I don't.

And that's not how knowledge works. Knowledge isn't you do all of it or none of it. I believe every single Muslim has a responsibility to actively seek knowledge. It's a command from Allah. No Fly lump. And hula, hula, hula, know that there is no one worthy of worship except Allah know what your Shahada is, know what your testimony of faith is. There's some and we all understand this. There's some basic knowledge that's required of all of us. Right? We have to, we can't pray unless we know how to pray. And so all of us who pray at some point, we had to learn how to pray, what is that that's seeking knowledge? vulnerable? Yeah, it's not, hey, I went to a foreign country, or I went to

the Middle East, or whatever. And I studied Islam, I went to this institute or that Institute, and I left my job and all while that's not what that is, but it is still seeking knowledge. So I hope inshallah doubt that if there's just one thing you take away from our gathering here tonight, it's that we have a responsibility to actively seek knowledge, even if it's just a little bit.

I shall do Lata, and Hannah, and with this gela to Allah, she asked the prophets I send them which is the most beloved action to Allah.

And he didn't mention one particular action. He said, a humble family law, a doable one. And he said, the most beloved action to Allah is that which is done regularly, consistently, even if it is small.

Right? So whether it's you listening to something once a week, right? And I mean, like, not just listening as in, you know what, it's just something to do, because that's the other problem we're dealing with today. You know, a lot of art, knowledge is just become another form of entertainment. Right? Like halaal Entertainment. Right? It's like, Okay, I'm not gonna listen to music in the car or listen to a lecture, which is good. Alhamdulillah. Right. But once again, what is our intention here? Right. And our actions are, for us, at least as an on an on a personal individual. level. Our actions tell us of our sincerity.

Meaning if we're if we're acting upon what we're learning, we're putting it into practice. In Chatelet data, we were sincere and learning it. But if we learn and learn and learn and learn and listen and like gather information, and we're not changing, then there's a problem with our sincerity. Right? Islamic knowledge isn't just gathering more facts. memorizing the Quran isn't just memorizing the Quran. I know more of the Quran. Learning Hadith isn't just I know more Hadith. It's about is that making me a better person?

Is it transforming me that's why it is extremely heartbreaking. When you see a practicing Muslim, or someone who has studied Islam, a student of knowledge, who has like, bad character, someone who's arrogant, or rude, because you're like, Where's the effect of this knowledge? Knowledge isn't just gathering facts. Right? Our knowledge benefit benefits us if it is transforming us if it is making us better. And that is why it's, you know, one of the things I hear a lot of times

you know, give a talk somewhere and someone will come and they'll say, yeah, it was a great talk. I really enjoyed your talk. I'm like Zack, lucky. He's like, Yeah, but you know, a lot of that stuff already knew. Right? Like the Hadeeth. You mentioned, like, I've heard that before. It was good, but you know,

and I often joke somehow, with some of the aluminum instructors, I'm like, what is what is it coming to? Like, is it is it gonna be like, 20 years from now, that understanding lecture has to have like, like stage lights, and like backup dancers, and like, you know, like a light show and like fireworks, and it's like, hungry. Now. We got people to come studies down now. Right? Like, is Islam? Right? Once again, once again, this is not to say, don't do it. Because we're not doing it correctly. It's do it, but do it correctly. Right. So when you learn something, even if it's something small, even if it's like a five minute video, or a five minute talk, or or you read like

half a page, make sure it's something that is actually making a difference in your life, you know,

even mo but I do love that gentleman.

And I know I said and a couple minutes ago, I'll end with this. All right. In irmo. He said that

amongst us, he said from us, but he's speaking about companions. He said, when we would memorize the Quran,

he said we

we wouldn't pass 10 years like we wouldn't go beyond 10 years, unless we have fully understood the meaning of those 10 years. And we have implement we have acted upon them. If we didn't do that, then we wouldn't want to move on to the next 10 is

even more, by the way, a scholar amongst the Sahaba

he said it took me four years to memorize certain Baccarat.

And I know that might not be significant to some of you, but then you have fallen in the room. Right. So the Baccarat how many Jews is that? There were no

two and a half. Right? Two and a half Jews? How many Jews in the Quran?

30. Right. So

today how far normal for about two to three years, they memorize the whole coupon.

But in aroma, a scholar amongst the Sahaba is saying it took me four years to memorize two and a half years.

Right, a small portion. Why? Why? He didn't have a good memory. He was slow. He didn't have time he's doing other things. No. It's because for them it wasn't just let me just memorize it. Is it was do I am I really putting into practice what I have learned? Do I really truly understand what is going into my heart. Once again, this is the responsibility they felt when it came to knowledge ask a lot of conduit to Allah to grant us all knowledge that benefits us in this life and the afterlife and ask Allah subhanaw taala to make our gathering here today. A means for us to enter Paradise, and it'd be shown on our scale of good deeds on the Day of Judgment. And Allah Subhana Allah knows best