Till Death Do Us

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Riad Ouarzazi

Channel: Riad Ouarzazi

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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Is it a life sentence?

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Allah subhanho wa Taala describes marriage in an in a very beautiful way. And amongst his signs, amongst the signs of Allah subhanho wa Taala amongst us is that the hot make amongst you, you meet husbands and wives, you meet your IRA, you and your wife, she is I mean at law,

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your spouse, she's one of the signs of a love because unless he's in the room and number 21 and amongst his signs amongst his, he is that he has created amongst you, your mates so that you may dwell in tranquility, and that he has point amongst you love and mercy.

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And then you drink

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love in the air. Hello.

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Hello, love.

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And then you bring a date. So now I'm telling you that you bring a date, the date

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from the date

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at the time of Abu hanifa one woman one guy wanted to divorce his wife you know she was climbing the ladder going up the ladder. He goes if you go one step up, you're divorced. One step down. You're divorced.

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So how would you do this? One step up. One step down. Jani. You are divorced. She's smart. She jumped.

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Brothers Be careful, man.

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Look for anything talaq talaq talaq.

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Bismillah Alhamdulillah

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wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah

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till death do us apart.

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I also call it the ocean of love.

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Bye baja

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an ocean of love

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the relationship between the spouses, and how to improve these relationships between the spouses today, inshallah hota. I'm going to share with you some ingredients on how to improve your relationship with your spouse. So who's married?

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Nobody from the sisters raise their hands. who's married?

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Hands up if you're married?

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Who's not married?

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Oh, I see.

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One last question. Who's happy?

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who's married who's not married? Who's happy?

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All right. hamdulillah.

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So, let us start to shallow Tana.

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With the definition of marriage. What is marriage?

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Is marriage a word? Is it a sentence? Is it a life sentence?

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Allah subhanho wa Taala describes marriage in an in a very beautiful way. Allah calls it so beautiful many beautiful names.

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Allah subhanho wa Taala says

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a woman at an

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unphysical

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Lita school in a a

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woman at an

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NPC comm as well as a school in a bay Bina Kumar

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and amongst his signs amongst the signs of Allah subhanho wa Taala amongst us is that he had made amongst you your mates, husbands and wives, your mates your idea? Yeah. And your wife she is I am in it.

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Your spouse, she's one of the sons of Allah because Allah says in the room and number 21 and amongst he signs amongst his eyes

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He's created amongst you, your mates, so that you may dwell in tranquility

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so that you may dwell in tranquility, or jhana being a commodity, and that he has food amongst you love and mercy,

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love and mercy.

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I want to start with love. And I want to start with

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an amazing, amazing story. You see when we talk about love, sometimes people think about Romeo Juliet. Hey, Sua, Laila.

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All these crazy names. I'm going to mention an amazing story that happened at the time of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam, the love of all time, not about the Prophet, but the daughter of the Prophet Her name is Xena.

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The beginning of this talk would be a little emotional, because this story is quite emotional.

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The story of the love of Xena, the daughter of the of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and her husband have a robbia

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All right, Xena and her husband. I will ask them here.

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So what happened ladies and gentlemen

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Zeynep she became a Muslim.

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Her husband was in the Muslim.

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He came to her and says hello, Martini. Didn't you tell me why didn't you tell me?

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She says it is not only me who became a Muslim. It is me. It is your auntie. It is your best friend. It is your cousin, your best friend. Your Auntie you know and myself. Would you like to become a Muslim? She says

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Carla Amana fella. He says me. No. I don't want people to say about me that I followed my wife or the vision of my wife. And I loved the vision of my forefathers. For helicopters he

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he says, would you would you understand my wife? He says would you understand? Would you forgive? She says if I don't understand you, who would?

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If I don't understand you, if I don't excuse you? Who would you or my husband. I will be patient with you.

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I will be patient with you until Allah shows you the light.

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And she's been patient with him

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for six years, living with a bolus

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came to

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came to migration from Mecca to Medina.

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She went to the Prophet Mohammed and she says our Prophet jasola or my father, would you allow me to stay with my husband

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in Mecca?

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The time the ruling at the time it was still permissible to marry a non Muslim.

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It was not prohibited yet. The Prophet said sure you want to stay with your husband stay with your husband.

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She stayed with her husband in Makkah, the prophet migrated to Medina

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came the Battle of

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the first battle.

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Abdullah has decided to go

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and fight

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against his father in law

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against the Prophet Mohammed Salah.

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So he goes

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and his wife stage

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the Muslims won the battle

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of Allah has got caught as a prisoner.

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saying if she goes, What happened to my husband What happened to my husband? They said he was caught as a prisoner.

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And then she had to send for a ransom to free her husband. What did she send?

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She sent a necklace given to her by her mother, Khadija,

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the beloved wife of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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She sent that necklace with

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Ask this brother.

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So the he goes to the Prophet as a synonym.

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And then he says, oh, Mohammed, I've got a ransom

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to free up. Alas, the prophet opens

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this bag and then he found the necklace.

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The necklace which reminded him of his beloved wife, Khadija,

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once he saw the necklace, the profits that are crying.

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Who does this belong to?

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It belongs to Zane. Zane have sent it to the you can take it as ransom and free her husband.

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And then the Prophet says yohannes has a theory or people. He is my son in law. This is my son in law. My was said to me the war in Iraq. I know nothing bad about him. He's been a good son in law to me.

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Would you free him?

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Now the Prophet is asking the companions, would you set him free?

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Would you set him free?

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They said yes, Eros, Allah will set him free will let him go.

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So he was set free.

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And then the Prophet

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he took that necklace.

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Then he goes

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to

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a boss and he says,

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Take this to Cena

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and tell her

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not to let this thing go again. Tell her to hold this song so dearly to her because it belongs to my beloved Khadija, Khadija Khadija. My wife Khadija he was sitting with after the death of Khadija. He was sitting with Ayesha one day. And then somebody knocks at the door. And then he came out to Sarah. He came up Russian say deja deja deja. This is after the death of Khadija. So many years later.

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He heard somebody knocking at the door. He came out to see them Khadija deja deja he opened the door. And it was Hannah. Hannah been to Hawaii. It was Hannah. It was a delicious sister. He smelled. He smelled the fragrance of Khadija from her sister who came to visit the Prophet Mohammed arisa to set up a deja deja

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he was so loyal to Sarah did not forget that love.

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Don't forget about the good that happened between you. Allah says Don't forget about the good.

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That was between you

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deja deja.

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He was with one of the Sahaba. And then he was there. And then he saw an old woman.

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And then he goes to her. And then he started talking to her. He takes away he takes off his ibuyer and then he puts it on her. And then it starts talking to her and now she's watching.

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Then when the Prophet comes back

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how she she says Who's that old woman Oh prophet of Allah. Who is that old woman that you've been talking to? You even took your own garment and gave it to her? Who was she rasulillah

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he says she's an old friend of Khadija. She's an old friend of my wife Khadija. We were talking about the time of Khadija. Her and I were talking about the time of Khadija.

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And then he calls up with us and he says Avila's has a self talk.

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hella soft took

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us. I'd like to share with you something could you come I'd like to talk to you as private

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about us. Allah has ordered me to separate between a woman who's Muslim married to a man who's not Muslim,

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or a bolus, would you? Look he was a prisoner. He just released him. And now he's asking about us. Would you become a Muslim? He says no. Then he says about us. Would you let my daughter go?

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Would you let her go? Would you divorce her let her go.

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About Us goes back to Medina. Zeynep saw him she was so happy. My husband, my husband. He says no.

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No. You have to go. She's Go where?

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She says, We're divorced. You have to go back to your father, your religion now has prohibited that I stay married to you.

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You have to go back to your dad.

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She says, then would you come with me? Would you become a Muslim and come with me? He says no, I don't want people to say that he loved the religion of his forefathers.

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She took it and she took her kids. And then she went to Medina.

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Six years later

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a caravan came out from Makkah.

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caravan came out from Mecca.

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And that caravan was holding came up from for business.

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So it was holding some belongings of the elite of the people of price of Mecca, the mccanns

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and oblast came out with that caravan.

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The Muslims were out. They found that caravan which in fact was carrying the belongings of the Muslims because when the Muslims migrated from Mecca to Medina, they lived in belongings there.

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So they came out and then they put the caravan under siege. They attacked the caravan upon us right away. What did he run? Are they where did he run? He runs to the closest town Medina.

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What home at night before?

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Where did he go? He goes and he looks for the house. I have

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seen him. His ex wife

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Zeynep sees him. She opens the door. Oh, us a teacher Salima cardella But I say to her Eva,

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did you come as a Muslim? He says no. I came I just escaped. And he told me the story. And then she says What happened?

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Because they were cousins. Jesus. Welcome. Oh, my cousin, although you're not my husband, but you are the father of Allah. And oh, Mama, and you are my cousin. Welcome. Welcome. And then she goes before First of all, as the Muslims prayed for the early morning prayer after they finished the prayer. And then a loud voice came out from the visit. Oh, people are shocked to

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us. I have given protection to us. I have given protection to us. The professor's Do you guys see what I'm hearing? They said yes.

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He knows. It is saying this is Cena.

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Oh people he says, Well, I don't know what happened. They told him the story.

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They said my daughter. She's saying that now I will ask he is under her protection. Yeah, anyone who Muslims gives anonymously protection of us. Nobody can harm that person. So he says, Would you allow Oh people would you allow? They said yes.

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As long as cleanup gave him protection, he's free to go. And he says the Prophet says would you return his money to him? Look at the beauty of Islam.

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The beauty of forgiveness, mercy of Islam, he says the provinces would you also give him his money back, his belongings back. They said jasola for Cena for the sake of Allah then saying that we will give him we'll set him free and give him it's our money. But we will give him back. You take it back.

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So he takes Xena and then he says oh Xena

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he is not your husband's

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honor him. Be kind to him. But he should not touch you.

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He should not touch you. He is not your husband.

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The profit goes to Apple Apple has you're free to go.

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But would you want to become a Muslim? No.

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He takes his money back. And then he goes to Medina. He goes back to Makkah then he goes oh people of Mecca. Here's your money back.

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Did I give you back your money? Yes You have.

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Do you guys owe me anything? They said no. He says now me a shadow Allah ilaha illallah wa shadow ana Muhammadan rasul Allah, me. I bear witness that there is no God but Allah and I bear witness that Muhammad is the Prophet of Allah

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and then he goes back to Medina.

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Same Day,

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as he goes to the Prophet Mohammed sauce and Mrs. Allah, I came now as a Muslim and I declare that there is no God but Allah and that you are Mohammed, the Messenger of Allah or prophet. Would you allow me to remarry, Xena?

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Would you allow me to re marry Xena?

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So he takes him and then he goes to Cena, the prophet, he knocks at the door Zeynep came out. And then the Prophet says, oh, Xena, here's what to us.

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He's a Muslim now, and he is asking if he can go back and re marry you. Oh, Xena. What do you say?

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Xena. She lowered her gaze. And she smiled.

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means yes, I agree.

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And then they we married

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and live so happily. But a year later, Xena passed away.

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A blast last Easter Christ so much that the Prophet would go to him, wipe his tears. And he would tell him how when Allah aka us how when Allah says, Take it easy. Take it easy.

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Allah, Allah He I feel no sweetness of this life after the death of Xena. I don't feel despite no more. I don't feel this word no more. I don't feel the sweetness of this word. No more after the passing away of my wife. I want to die to

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every time he goes. He takes his baby. Oh, mama.

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He hugs her. It reminds him of saying that.

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hugs are so tight. And Christ. He never got remarried.

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A year later. Abdullah has passes away as well.

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He couldn't take it. He was so sad. He wanted to join his wife in the heavens.

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In a nutshell, this is the story of Xena and her husband. Alas. For me. It's an amazing love story.

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I feel the need one more time. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. I feel the need for a hug. Can I get a hug? Please? Can I get a hug?

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comma, just one. Just one. me if I see you'll give you the hugs is that if you're giving me a hug. So give a hug. Give a hug with each other. Just give her give her a hug the person next to hug. Hug the person next to you, man. How alone? Thank you

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know, I don't know, I'm just like, Man, you either love me or love me. I don't know you have two choices either love me or love me pick one.

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So let's go back into the ingredients

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on how to improve

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our life or our marriage with our spouses. But first ladies and gentlemen, I've got to share something with you.

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I read this book sisters, you know what? I read this book, you know what it is called, is called why men don't listen.

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And why women can read maps.

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why women cannot read maps. You know what? It's an amazing book. It's got nothing to do about women not reading maps, or men not listening. It just talks about the psychological differences between men and women.

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Go and read this amazing book, the psychological differences, and I wish I had read that book before I got married.

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I read it like 20 years later. What have I been married for? 20 years? No. 15. Well, I forgot

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about a long time.

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An amazing book. And I wish I had read it before.

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Here's how it says you know, let me give you the example.

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The brain, men's brains versus women's brain. Okay. Just Just watch me. Man's brain. Women's brain.

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Man's brain is made up of boxes.

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One bucks called money.

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One bucks called

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wife. One bucks called work. One bucks for children. One bucks. Call

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different boxes. So when a man wants to talk about money, he pulls the box called money, talks about money and he puts it back.

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When a man wants to talk about work, he pulls the box called work. He talks about work and then he brings it back.

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men cannot talk about toolboxes at the same time.

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men cannot talk about work, and women or children at the same time. He does not know how to do that. And there is a very special box in every man's brain. Ladies, you better listen well.

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the very most amazing box that is beloved to every man. It's called the empty box.

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It's got nothing in it.

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It is our favorite box.

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Sometimes when your husband is watching TV, and he's doing

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he is not watching TV. He's into his empty box. Leave him alone.

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Have you seen two men going fishing together?

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Have you ever seen two men going fishing together? We do go fishing. And we can stay two hours fishing without talking to one another.

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for two hours when women see us they say you guys have no problem. We say no, we got no problem. We are in our empty box. We enjoy it. We love it.

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Now women boxes, women's brain.

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Women, they have the same boxes. But the boxes are all connected to

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a woman Mashallah. She can talk about work. She can talk about children as cooking at the same time watching TV and listening to you her husband on the phone.

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She's listening to you.

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As cooking and watching TV. She can tell you much. Can't you see them as sometimes when the sisters are talking? Have you ever noticed they all talk at the same time?

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And you just wonder is this

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previous to the one who created you?

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How can you talk? They can we cannot. When a man let me ask you a question when a man drives a car.

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And then he gets a phone call. There's a radio on and then he gets a phone call. What's the first thing that the men would do?

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Turn the radio off. Automatic. Stay with me brothers. Automatic say automatic. We just drive as soon as the phone rings we have to turn off the radio and pick up the phone. The wife says Why did you turn off the radio?

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I was listening to that song. I was listening to that Scotty you tell her I cannot talk and drive at the same time. I can only do one thing at the same time. She does not understand.

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The Akash is multitask, Masha Allah Allah has given them that ability to multitask. Another example, when women they go to a washroom toilet. Most women when they go to the washroom or worship freedom is like a lounge.

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What's the lounge? They go to talk?

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Most women sometimes build relationships with each other in washrooms.

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A woman will go to her sister she says sis Come with me where we just go into the washroom

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and then they go to the washroom together. How would you feel buddy? You know?

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If I tell you Hey, buddy, come with me to the washroom.

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How would you feel man? He's already mad. He's already upset.

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Whoa.

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We don't do that.

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We don't do that man. We don't say that buddy. Walk with me to the washroom. But the sisters do that all the time.

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Merci. Mashallah. Mashallah.

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So you've got to understand these differences between men and women. When a wife was married here again, was married.

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When your wife says, you tell her Okay, I'm going to see my friends and then she says, fine.

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Fine in Norway means viene Viet

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Yet, so you watch this yet?

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Does that mean yet?

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In although she says a cha TK,

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TK? Does that mean TK?

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What does it mean?

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It means man if you go

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you're not gonna have fun tonight

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you need to understand the psychological differences between men and women.

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So let us start with Sharla who tada with some quick ingredients on how to improve our life with one another husbands and wives. Number one, ladies and gentlemen, you've got to understand something very important the night of the wedding.

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Your wife or your life or your spouse, with your wife, with your spouse with your you know, your your with your husband and wife starts in the first night of the wedding. How do you start that night? The Prophet alayhi salatu salam, he told us how to start our first night. All right, so you're married. Alright, coming, buddy. Coming

00:31:13--> 00:31:17

up, all right. You're gonna have the privilege of being my wife today.

00:31:19--> 00:31:20

Yes, come

00:31:26--> 00:31:28

just imagine okay.

00:31:30--> 00:31:33

I'm going to teach you something maybe no other secret teach you

00:31:36--> 00:31:38

a second time. I love you, man. What can I say?

00:31:39--> 00:31:48

Alright, so just you know, this is the sort of the process of when you get married, the first thing you do is you come to see your wife. She's you know, look at me like your wife is she was

00:31:51--> 00:32:00

supposed to be shy right? Your wife's supposed to be shy? So she's shy. So you come the first thing you do what do you do you put your hand right on her forehead just like this.

00:32:03--> 00:32:05

And then you recite the

00:32:07--> 00:32:09

classification of Romania cerca

00:32:11--> 00:32:11

de

00:32:13--> 00:32:31

la you know this guy. memorize it, man. Very important. You can see it in English only know of Norwegian or a nobody to do. It's in the fortress of the Muslim the book or the fortress of the Muslim. You can find it there in Charlottetown. Okay, so you say this. And then what do you do after that? I'm sure you

00:32:34--> 00:32:40

you got a a glass of water of milk. Its benefits milk. Right? You drink

00:32:46--> 00:32:47

and then you drink

00:32:51--> 00:32:52

love in the air.

00:32:55--> 00:32:56

Hello, love.

00:32:59--> 00:33:04

And then you bring a date. So now I'm telling you, you blink a date. If they

00:33:05--> 00:33:06

then you eat from the date.

00:33:08--> 00:33:11

And then you start your life with Taka?

00:33:12--> 00:33:16

Taka, you're gone You're free to like I with her. So you go behind me.

00:33:17--> 00:33:18

And we

00:33:19--> 00:33:22

don't do like this man did Solo Solo.

00:33:24--> 00:33:29

There's this guy who just got married. Just pray. I think this is your last prayer.

00:33:31--> 00:33:35

You're just starting your life with your wife. Pray this is your last prayer.

00:33:36--> 00:33:39

And you don't have to recite the bacala

00:33:40--> 00:33:42

or you don't have to recite. Nisa

00:33:45--> 00:33:54

Manisha. Alright. And then after that, you talk. You talk with your wife. That's it. Thank you.

00:34:02--> 00:34:08

You start your life with the Sunnah of the Prophet as imagine starting your life with Torah.

00:34:10--> 00:34:19

Don't you think Allah with wood blessing in this marriage? Starting with tilaka with your with your spouse, starting with the Sunnah of the prophet Isaiah, send him with your spouse.

00:34:21--> 00:34:27

You may ask or you may say [???], I didn't know that. I'm married. I didn't know that. The train is gone now.

00:34:30--> 00:34:30

Well,

00:34:31--> 00:34:32

I don't know.

00:34:34--> 00:34:36

Maybe you still have to do more trains? I don't know.

00:34:37--> 00:34:39

I didn't say that somebody said that says I didn't say that.

00:34:41--> 00:34:45

But you can still do it inshallah. Go back and do it. See your watch with me.

00:34:47--> 00:34:49

Also, my brothers and sisters for the brothers.

00:34:51--> 00:34:59

Understand the standard of living of your wife understand her standard of living. For instance, I'll give you an example. What

00:35:00--> 00:35:20

Prophet Mohammed is the married Madea. Madea, the Coptic Marissa, she's the only wife who's not from the Arab peninsula. Marissa was where was she from? Or she was from Egypt. She used to live in Egypt. The other ones were from Arabia, from Arabia from the, you know, the desert. So when the Prophet married Madea

00:35:22--> 00:36:11

Where did she live? She did not live with the prophet in Medina, or in the Muslim neighbor, we were the metric whether the house of the Prophet is now he chose a different house for her a different place for her out in the outskirts of Medina, where the trees are the palm trees, the green the lakes, why? Because Maria came from an area known to have trees known to have you know, greens and whatnot. So the Prophet understood her standard of living, if your wife Mashallah comes from a very, you know, high standard of living, if you're the husband, you can try to at least mimic that standard of living. This is very important for the for the for the spouse, if you can inshallah, if

00:36:11--> 00:36:13

you can afford to

00:36:14--> 00:36:18

provide her with a similar standard of living.

00:36:19--> 00:36:30

Number three, another thing that will improve your relationship with your spouse is something called patience, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, patience Subbu.

00:36:31--> 00:36:43

Especially brothers and sisters, ladies and gentlemen, in the first year or two years of marriage, you need that patience so much. Why? Because this is the time where you guys are getting to know one another.

00:36:45--> 00:36:49

Before you used to sleep on the phone talking to her.

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You would call her maybe every day talking to her on the phone for like 657 hours. As soon as you hang up, you send out a text message, I miss you.

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And after you get married, what happens? You still talk to you on the phone like that, then oh, what's happened to that frequency?

00:37:13--> 00:37:15

Stop calling Why?

00:37:17--> 00:37:22

You need lots of patience. In the beginning, as you are learning about one another.

00:37:24--> 00:37:26

There was this sister who came to me once and she says

00:37:27--> 00:37:32

I want divorce. I said Why? I said my husband snores

00:37:33--> 00:37:39

I swell. She says my husband snores I'm sick of his snoring. I said sister Come on.

00:37:40--> 00:37:41

Come on.

00:37:44--> 00:37:50

Be patient. Be patient, you know, at some point in Sharla you know, you will love your husband's snoring.

00:37:51--> 00:37:54

It will be like a lullaby to put you to sleep.

00:37:55--> 00:37:59

Sometime you know when you get used to it use this honey, honey, please. Snow snow, please.

00:38:02--> 00:38:03

But you have to be patient.

00:38:04--> 00:38:07

Don't just settle for anything. I want divorce.

00:38:10--> 00:38:11

There was a guy when I was in Dubai.

00:38:17--> 00:38:22

You know his wife came to us to give to his her father, Dad, I married an animal.

00:38:24--> 00:38:27

Every time there is a conflict or a problem, he bites me.

00:38:30--> 00:38:31

This guy is higher

00:38:32--> 00:38:33

as an animal.

00:38:36--> 00:38:46

So we came and then we said we want to talk to this guy. What's wrong with you, man? If you go back to your wife, What's up with you? He says I'm only doing what Allah told me to do in the

00:38:48--> 00:38:54

US Excuse me? He says yes, I'm following the love of Allah. Allah says to bite them in the plan. say show me Show me nothing.

00:38:55--> 00:38:56

To show me.

00:38:58--> 00:39:01

It says the ISS we're lucky to have Fernando Susana.

00:39:06--> 00:39:11

And those those who will understand you have to understand it to be able to understand what I just said.

00:39:13--> 00:39:15

Susana, foul.

00:39:16--> 00:39:31

He misread it Alesis and those that you feel rebellion from give them admonition talk to them. In Arabic Allah says fight buena. ohana means give them admonition. He read it

00:39:32--> 00:39:34

in Arabic or Guna means bite them.

00:39:41--> 00:39:43

He lost it. I say what

00:39:47--> 00:39:47

it is.

00:39:49--> 00:39:54

It is gonna give them admonition talk to them.

00:39:57--> 00:39:59

So you need that patience, especially in the beginning of your marriage.

00:40:00--> 00:40:38

stubbornness. Ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, do not be stubborn because you know shaytan comes and does what he wants. He wants you to separate from your spouse. Show him Who's the man. Show her Who's the man show his show, you know, and this came from, you know, whispering and whatnot. stubbornness kills, destroys marriage. Well, I'm going to tell you something that also happened in Makkah, in the hilum, the shape of Mecca, Van Halen, he changed his hotbar. When he heard this, he was given a sermon. He changed his sermon when he heard this, when he heard that a husband divorced his wife

00:40:40--> 00:40:42

in the harem, during the tawaf,

00:40:44--> 00:40:50

the circumambulation around the Kaaba. Why What happened? He says to his wife, we went

00:40:51--> 00:40:53

six times she says, No, five.

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He says, No, six. She says they were lucky if I was comforting. He says, I can't do a six. She says love 565 you're divorced.

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567 Honey, you're divorced

00:41:15--> 00:41:27

at the time of Abu hanifa one woman one guy wanted to divorce his wife you know she was climbing the ladder going up the ladder. He goes if you go one step up, you're divorced. One step down. You're divorced.

00:41:29--> 00:41:36

So how would you do this? Once the up once they've done Yanni you are divorced. She's smart. She jumped.

00:41:40--> 00:41:41

Brothers Be careful, man.

00:41:43--> 00:41:56

Not for anything talaq. talaq talaq so much that this guy also another crazy. he divorced five wives. Five, you may say no. How can he can marry for law he divorced five wives.

00:41:58--> 00:42:08

How did he do it? He had four wives. So something happened between the first one he says you're divorced. The second one says, Well, your straw man crazy man was hot. He says you're divorced.

00:42:09--> 00:42:15

The third was this image. No. You're crazy when you divorce three. The fourth wives is not

00:42:16--> 00:42:18

what I was going through your divorce for

00:42:19--> 00:42:24

the neighbor. She was listening. Just what kind of

00:42:25--> 00:42:32

crazy man he was forwards in five minutes. He says you are divorced. If your husband approves, the husband says I approve. He says you're divorced.

00:42:42--> 00:42:44

stubborn and keyless marriage.

00:42:47--> 00:42:51

Another thing that would improve life and relationship with your spouse,

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brothers and sisters in a serious note, allocate time to sit with one another. allocate some time I know you're busy at work, you visit school, you're busy doing what you're doing, but you need to allocate some time to spend that time with your spouse. It's very important.

00:43:11--> 00:43:15

allocate time to go out and do things together.

00:43:17--> 00:43:19

Go into outings together.

00:43:21--> 00:43:22

pray together,

00:43:23--> 00:43:25

fast together.

00:43:26--> 00:43:27

play together.

00:43:29--> 00:43:47

This is all beautiful. When you do this with your spouse, the Prophet Muhammad Allah says in Bukhari that Allah subhanho wa Taala smiles and he smiles in a way that befits His Majesty. I don't want you to imagine how Allah smiles. Allah smize in a way that befits His Majesty The Prophet and his sources and says

00:43:48--> 00:43:53

in the law, Allah smiles Yep, that's him. Oh, yuck. Yuck.

00:43:54--> 00:44:06

When a woman she's waking up her husband to pray at night and the husband does not want to wake up and then she takes some water and then she

00:44:07--> 00:44:09

splashes it with him like this yellow Habibi.

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Come on honey come on come on come on john.

00:44:15--> 00:44:19

You know the although john Don't you say john?

00:44:20--> 00:44:21

Yeah.

00:44:22--> 00:44:28

Turkish no no john in although but in Norway. How would you say my love happy Betty how you say no in Norwegian. You don't have you don't say

00:44:31--> 00:44:35

sorry, Shara Shara. Okay sobre

00:44:38--> 00:44:43

Allah subhanho wa Taala he smiles when he sees something like that happens.

00:44:44--> 00:44:49

Have you ever woke up your wife or your husband to pray together pmla

00:44:52--> 00:44:53

the Prophet used to do that.

00:44:55--> 00:44:57

never compare

00:44:58--> 00:44:59

each other to one another.

00:45:00--> 00:45:07

never compare your husband, with your brother or your father. never compare your wife with your mother.

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My mother, she cooks like this. My mother works like this. My mother talks like this. My mother cleans like this. As she goes, I did not marry your mother.

00:45:19--> 00:45:20

I married you, for God's sake.

00:45:21--> 00:45:38

Don't do that, please. It destroys marriage when you compare your spouse to her husband or to your friend or whatnot, never do that. Another thing that will improve love amongst you is something called Warm greetings. What is warm greetings. The problem used to come is to say,

00:45:44--> 00:46:11

Hey, how are you? Every time he would come say hi, Monica, how are you? Warm greetings, and very nice. If you can couple those. Those are warm greetings with hugs and touches, hugs and touches. Because the experts say not me. The experts in psychology, they say that women have to be touch 30 times a day to feel secure.

00:46:12--> 00:46:25

Allahu Allah. They say for the woman to feel secure. She's got to be touched 30 times a day. I don't know how it happens. 30 but you know what? I tried to do it once with my wife as well. 12345

00:46:26--> 00:46:27

like that?

00:46:30--> 00:46:35

Like maybe you come from work and then she's in the kitchen and then you go give her a hug. Can I one more time?

00:46:39--> 00:46:40

Well, watch, watch.

00:46:45--> 00:46:49

I have to I'm a visual guy. Remember I said yesterday, I'm a visual guy. I have to show you things.

00:46:50--> 00:46:54

I will show you something that I don't think any sec would teach you how to touch your spouse.

00:46:58--> 00:46:59

So

00:47:01--> 00:47:02

let's say you're cooking, cook, cook, man.

00:47:05--> 00:47:05

Cook.

00:47:08--> 00:47:14

So you come from work. And then you go and then you do like this. Number one. Here's number one. You do like this.

00:47:22--> 00:47:26

Right there. That's one touch. But don't make it like

00:47:32--> 00:47:36

how are you? How's everything how's your day? Something like that? Number one.

00:47:38--> 00:47:39

Cook, cook, cook, cook.

00:47:42--> 00:47:48

Number two, you come from work or you're out and then she's also cooking again. So what do you do?

00:47:57--> 00:48:02

So you come from work and then and then right there. She's cooking to get done right? Watch.

00:48:10--> 00:48:11

Very important.

00:48:13--> 00:48:14

And you talk

00:48:15--> 00:48:22

how are you doing? How's your day? Things like that. Warm greetings with touches and hugs. Thank you. Thank you.

00:48:25--> 00:48:26

Ladies and gentlemen.

00:48:30--> 00:48:33

May Allah bless you. May Allah bless you, thank you may Allah bless you.

00:48:38--> 00:48:39

Praise each other.

00:48:40--> 00:48:41

Praise one another.

00:48:43--> 00:48:48

praise your spouse. Mashallah Allah. Thank you praise each other. It's good.

00:48:51--> 00:49:00

Call him or her with his most beautiful names are her most beautiful name. You can give her nicknames beautiful nicknames like the property circle.

00:49:01--> 00:49:25

ish. I use for my raw Blondie red red cheeks. Give her beautiful names. Honey. I don't know how you would say it in Norwegian, but any beautiful thing honey, vinegar, cream cheese? I don't know. No, but give her you know if he likes to be called the man calling my boss. If she likes to be called the sugar color sugar.

00:49:27--> 00:49:41

Shoo, shoo. Fufu anything is permissible between you and your wife. I'm telling you, you take whatever you want to take. And if you don't like something, don't take it. It's up to you. It is the Sunnah of the Prophet. As I said, it's up to you.

00:49:45--> 00:49:59

pamper each other. pamper each other in front of your kids. It's okay you have to in front of your kids now you teach your kids that it is okay to hold Mama's hand. It is okay to give Mama's a hug.

00:50:00--> 00:50:08

Yeah, and you do that in front of the kids. It's alright. prepping your wife. cherishing your wife cherishing your husband, preparing your husband in front of your kids.

00:50:09--> 00:50:10

The family.

00:50:12--> 00:50:15

Practical lesson for your children for your children.

00:50:19--> 00:50:29

Say, the million dollar world. Let me repeat, say, the million dollar word brothers. What is the million dollar world?

00:50:31--> 00:50:37

You know, what is it? Are you married? He's not married. Let me talk to somebody who's married. What's the $1 million? Word?

00:50:39--> 00:50:40

It starts with ay.

00:50:42--> 00:50:45

Ay, ay, ay ay.

00:50:47--> 00:50:49

Ay, we men have a problem saying it. I.

00:50:52--> 00:50:53

I love.

00:50:54--> 00:50:55

I love you.

00:51:00--> 00:51:01

The Prophet is sitting

00:51:02--> 00:51:07

in front of the Sahaba of his companies. Yeah. I love you.

00:51:09--> 00:51:12

I love you. A man came to him.

00:51:15--> 00:51:29

last, who's the most beloved person to you? jasola He says, I shot on the spot. I shot my wife. And then he goes, No, no, no. jasola from men. The promises her father.

00:51:31--> 00:51:33

He thought he was gonna say me. He says her father.

00:51:34--> 00:51:35

I love you.

00:51:36--> 00:51:37

Say it.

00:51:38--> 00:51:40

It's alright. Say brother say I love you.

00:51:42--> 00:51:43

Can you say that your spouse's.

00:51:44--> 00:51:46

I know somebody is your problem with that.

00:51:47--> 00:52:00

Brother with that. I love this. It's alright. Even though sometimes they have a problem with that. We say it say it's inshallah hotaka. Or hey, buki your hubby Betty, say that. It's alright.

00:52:02--> 00:52:17

You may even make it nice. You know, you know, I shot she has to tell the Prophet all the time. So if your wife comes in ask you all the time. Do you love me? It's all right. Because I just used as the Prophet, the same question all the time. You love me?

00:52:18--> 00:52:23

And then the Prophet would tell her. I love you like the nut in a rope.

00:52:24--> 00:52:29

Look at this Arabi example, like the nut in the rope.

00:52:31--> 00:52:39

You understand? a knot in the rope. And then she goes, and she from time to time she asked him, oh prophet of Allah. How's that? Not?

00:52:40--> 00:52:43

The Prophet would say, very tight.

00:52:45--> 00:52:54

Very tight. She goes again, FEMA. How's the night? The night? Very tight. Yeah, Annie. My love for you. It's just drunk.

00:52:55--> 00:52:57

As the knot in the rope.

00:53:00--> 00:53:08

You may tell her I think your dad was a terrorist. She Excuse me? She's Yeah, because you're a bomb.

00:53:12--> 00:53:13

You're a bomb.

00:53:15--> 00:53:16

How's that one?

00:53:29--> 00:53:46

Another thing that will increase love amongst you break the routine. Everyday the same thing? Same thing. Same thing. Surprise each other break their routine. Yeah, honey, from time to time. It's alright. Dress up for your husband sisters. look good for your husband's dress up for your spouse's

00:53:47--> 00:54:01

love, not best. He was brushing his hair one day, getting ready to meet his wife, the Sahaba they went to him. You got to give us evidence from the earth that you have to look nice for your wife. He says yes, I do have the evidence from the plan.

00:54:02--> 00:54:04

That I have to look nice for my wife.

00:54:05--> 00:54:13

As the law says, as you like to see them beautiful. They'd like to see your beautiful one. ahuna Mr. Lady?

00:54:15--> 00:54:17

What a Honda. Mr. alethea hinda

00:54:18--> 00:54:28

women have the same right as done of men. If I like to see my wife nice good looking. She likes to see me gonna get as well. So I'm preparing myself looking nice for my wife.

00:54:29--> 00:54:36

Is there anything wrong with that brothers? To look nice for your wives to dress up for you? Is there something wrong with that?

00:54:37--> 00:54:49

sisters, why don't you dress up for your husband sometimes, you know, I get some complaints from some husbands Really? And this is the truth. As a marriage officer. I'm a licensed marriage officer from Canada. I got people complaining I hear all kinds of complaints.

00:54:51--> 00:54:59

Yes, if I go to work and I see things happening and whatnot, I go home, my wife when I buy outside I go home food home as well.

00:55:01--> 00:55:03

Help me. Help me.

00:55:04--> 00:55:14

All right, tell the sisters go to the sister girl. Go to have your own rose go to I don't know if you haven't been in Norway. No, you don't have them. Victoria's Secret.

00:55:16--> 00:55:19

go to those places dresser for your husbands.

00:55:23--> 00:55:43

It's all harder because it is for your husband. One lucky I'm serious. And then the husbands will come and complain. And then divorce happens because what happened? break that routine? surprise your husband one day? surprise your wife one day you call on the phone? Honey, pack up your bags.

00:55:44--> 00:55:46

What did I do? What are you sending me home?

00:55:48--> 00:55:52

You say no. I've got a couple of tickets. We're going for Amara together.

00:55:58--> 00:55:59

What's wrong with that?

00:56:00--> 00:56:05

Surprise each other, pamper each other. Break that routine?

00:56:10--> 00:56:27

How about having fun with each other? Can you raise your wife, your spouse? The Prophet used to do that? He would raise Ayesha. He says I she says he raised me. And then I want because she was young. She raised him and then she won. She says for up Imani lemon.

00:56:28--> 00:56:48

She said he she says he fed me meat for one week. He fed me meat for one week. And then we came and we raced and then he won. I was heavy. I couldn't run. Yes, he was. I think he said so I shot this for that. would even you want I want he's having fun. Don't tell me. I'm too old.

00:56:50--> 00:56:51

under your belt and

00:56:53--> 00:57:06

click that routine. It's alright to have fun with your spouse had fun. He had fun. Shahada participate in the chores at home. It's alright some husbands they think they are the ministers of Finance.

00:57:07--> 00:57:13

The only two that paid pay the bills and the expenses It's alright to help at home at the profit. I was just

00:57:15--> 00:57:24

he was always you know, try to kind of be fidgety early. When I say she was as house lasala he'd say kind of early. He was in the service of his wife.

00:57:25--> 00:57:44

Working at home, helping at home so he can help with the chores at home in Charlotte. There's nothing wrong with that. Be you know kind words, kind words. Such as the Prophet says if disarmer sadaqa nice smiles sadaqa charity if you have no money to give us charity, how about a smile in the face of your spouse?

00:57:45--> 00:57:48

How about a smile in the face of your of your brother? It's charity.

00:57:51--> 00:57:52

You don't want to smile man.

00:57:53--> 00:57:56

I'm telling you a smile in the face of your brother is charity.

00:58:02--> 00:58:04

For the for the for the shift for the

00:58:08--> 00:58:15

show me that will seat. Thank you. A smile in the face of your spouse is charity

00:58:16--> 00:58:17

kind words, our charity.

00:58:18--> 00:58:30

Be honest, ladies and gentlemen, with one another. Be honest with your spouse. Pay attention brothers, this is for you. Pay attention to the mood of your wife, especially when she's going through her menses

00:58:31--> 00:58:37

very, very important. Pay attention to their mood. Sometimes they may act weird.

00:58:39--> 00:58:57

It's alright. Even Allah subhana wa tada tells them not to pray when they're going through their menses. So sometimes they are they go to the psychological, you know, hormone changes. So you've got to understand, you've got to understand, so pay attention to those to those differences.

00:58:58--> 00:59:02

Brothers also this is for you give your wife time out.

00:59:03--> 00:59:12

You know what a timeout is? Like when you give you get you can you tell him go timeout? You say you can timeout Go to your room timeout. Don't you guys do that? tating normally?

00:59:13--> 00:59:17

Yes, I know. I'm sure you do. Give that to your wife, you say? timeout.

00:59:18--> 00:59:57

Which means give it a break, man. If you got kids, take your kids out. And then give some time out for your wife to the charge. She needs that time to recharge like you need that time to recharge as well. You go out, spend time with your friends. She needs that time to recharge as well. Give her some break. Apologize, brothers and sisters. Apologize, apologize when you make a mistake. There's nothing wrong about saying I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean that. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm really sorry if I said something wrong. If I have hurt your feelings. It's okay to say I'm sorry. Apologize when you make mistakes.

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Don't keep looking for it.

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other's mistakes. Don't just keep looking at each other's mistakes. Look at the good time, the good, the good qualities versus only looking at the bad side, look at the good side.

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And last but not least, you brothers, you have to understand that you are financially responsible to provide for the other wives. Even if they work.

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Even if they've got money, you don't have Allah, you are financially responsible to provide for your spouse.

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This is your obligation.

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I know

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today and I can go on and on but the time is up.

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I know that maybe today all the flower shops would be busy.

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You guys gonna go to the flower shops and buy flower and then go to your wives and they'll make some chocolates and roses. But you know what the prophet says?

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The Prophet is awesome says the best deeds in the sight of Allah. Of those the those these that are continuous

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even if they are trivial,

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but the best deeds in the sight of Allah are those deeds that are continuous.

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Today you buy a flower, and then the next time she sees the flower is in 10 years. No good. And don't do like this guy, my brothers who bought some flowers for his wife. And then she came says all Mashallah has he remembered me? He says no, they went on sale.

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That was not good. Who said they won't say

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contemplate the seed of the Prophet Mohammed. There are books that talk about the seat at the buffet, the voice of the Prophet and how he used to treat his wife.

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Go and read those those books. Goodness, it's in Buhari as well. How the Prophet used to take a bath from the same vessel with Isaiah from the same visa from the same bath. They would take that together. And you know what happens? I shot she would take some water and then she was supposed to perfect it saw the cylinder and then the profit was fresh water back at her so they play with water. Just like pillow fight. Have you ever done pillow fight with your wife?

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pillow fight?

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The Prophet did that with Isaiah. Water fight. splash water water back. Boy. What's wrong with that? You tell me sisters brothers. What is wrong with that? Is there anything wrong with that?

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He would go like I said race with her. And then one day she felt jealous. Why? Because hafsa sent some food to her house. And then she broke the tree in front of the prophet in front of the Sahaba the companions she was jealous. She got jealous. It's all right brothers. It is them Subhanallah they feel jealous. It's all right. She broke the tree. The Prophet. What did he do? He says, Oh Ha ha.

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Come on.

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He didn't say come on. But you know

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what, Amanda?

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She gave us a tray. You have to give her the traitor. She gave us some food. You have to give her food too. And then he goes to the Sahaba. And then he says Your mother has become jealous. Your mother has become jealous.

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Who is this law? So the law. She's going through her menses the last one. Last one. I'm lost. I'm done. She goes she's going through her message. Sit down, please sit down.

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She goes to her menses and then the prophet and then she goes Listen to this. This is what happened when she came to him. And she stared at him. jasola Tell me about the most the the toughest hardship that you had jasola Brothers, please, please concentrate because if people are watching here,

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she came in she says jasola to me about the hardest hardship you've ever had in your life. The hardest time you had. And then he started telling her about about when he went to pif. When people threw rocks at him, he was bleeding and you start to see them. And then he goes and she's going to her menses he goes, he gets her a cup of milk. And then he he goes and he says hi schepis drink. She says, You know, I want you to drink first and then he goes Nah, Isha, please, I'd like you to drink first. So she drank smaller.

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And then the Prophet took the same cup. And then he turned it from exactly the same spot that she drank from, and then he drank from it.

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There is no germ sharing or he sees wife. He gets a piece of meat. He said I shall have a bite. She Seattle Solano, please. You have first she's no No, no, you have first and then she has a Bissell like a morsel of meat. And then he takes that meat from the same spot.

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She had that bite from and then he had another bite. And then when they finished eating, I'm sorry to say this but this is simple hearty, I'm sorry to say but again, it's it's a Sunday. He takes her hand and then he

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after they finished food, don't you guys know when you eat your genitals will eat with their hands they understand you need to do rather than you lick your fingers. The Prophet took her hand

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and he licked her fingers. Yeah Salam say yes, Allah. Oh,

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this is love. This is the art of love.

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who's teaching me this? Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Allah.

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May Allah subhanho wa Taala shower your lives with flowers with blessings. May Allah subhana wa Taala make your homes as the home of the Prophet Muhammad Allah said And may Allah make your homes as the home of the companions of the Prophet Mohammed also said MATLAB bless you with pious righteous spouses that would be your spouse's not only in this life, but also your spouses in the hereafter inshallah inshallah tada as I can. My head Thank you for your attention. May Allah bless you all.