Season 3 Ep 25

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The Productive Muslim Podcast

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You're listening to the productive Muslim podcast season three, Episode 25.

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Listen podcast season three with your host, Aaron handy for the productive Muslim Ramadan hot detox challenge. We are now on day 25 of Ramadan. Ramadan is flying is very much like and I really pray that we have taken advantage of it. I really pray that throughout this hot diesel challenge that we've managed to pick up some good habits, that we've also managed to let go of some of our bad ones. So for today, your article is on how to let go of emotional attachments. Now this one is very, very crucial because it's something that a lot of us underestimate. So a lot of us think that when someone says we're attached to dunya, they think attached to dunya means in terms of material

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possessions, not realizing that attachment to dunya can also come in the form of people. And one thing that I've seen throughout my life is when somebody becomes quite emotionally attached to someone, and then become emotionally dependent on them. What ends up happening is if they lose this person from their life, whether it's their partner, whether it's their friend, or whatever,

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they become quite paralyzed, they find it hard to concentrate and anything else. This is a person that they think of that they basically mope, they're unable to eat or sleep or thing or do anything because they're everything obsessed with this person. And so trying to find a way to emotionally detach from someone can be quite difficult, which makes sense, because if it's somebody that you've spent a lot of time with somebody that you've built many memories with, it's not very easy to you know, you become used to them, it's not very easy to suddenly get used to them not being there. So some of the tips in this that I really want us to pick up on. First one is remembering depth this,

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no because I always used to say this, that it's quite a morbid way of thinking. But one thing that happened to me whenever things would stress me out, people around me stressed me out, I would always remind myself that one day, we're all going to die. Now when you put that into perspective, and you start thinking one day, you're going to die and you're going to meet Allah subhanaw taala. Okay, you've got all of this time that you wasted because you really, really, really love someone and I are finding it hard to let go of them. Are they really going to matter on your monthly ama when you're standing there in front of Allah subhanaw taala like think about it, you wasting hours or

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days or months thinking about this person how much you want them back in their in your life. They're not in your life anymore for a reason. This is more or less petrosa Allah has decreed. Maybe it's to teach you a lesson. Maybe it's to build you as a person. God knows what the reason could be for it, but they're no longer in your life. And life is still going to continue moving. And one day you are going to die that could be today or tomorrow or in 20 years. No one knows. Is this really how you want to spend your time remembering that here is incredibly crucial.

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The next step in it, which is something that I actually got from my brother, and was avoiding sad music and movies. So a friend of mine, I remember this quote quite quickly, there was a friend of mine who said that, um, when there was a very emotional song that came out and she was like, honestly, when you listen to the song shall make you feel heartbroken about a person that you've had three seconds of eye contact with on the bus, which is very true. Some music, it does that it artificially manipulates your emotion. And you end up feeling like these sad music and movies that they relate to you like, when in reality, they probably don't. And they're probably making it a lot

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more dramatic and intensifying your emotions unnecessarily stay away from things that are going to make you pessimistic. Okay. The other thing is the one key tip here that I really, really want us to take away from this, which is something that many many of us are guilty of reminding people of your favorite. Okay? So when you spend time with someone, we've obviously sacrificed for them, we've compromised for them, we've done a lot for them, that's fine. But what ends up happening is because we've done so much for them, if they're no longer in our life, oh my god, the amount of money I spent on that person, the amount that I did for that person, everything you ever did for them, you

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start holding it against them, as if suddenly now you regret it because they're no longer in your life. Now I want to ask you guys something if I was to come to you, and I say, Hey, listen, I'm going to do you a favor. You know, your car's not working today, I'm going to pay for your lunch, but because I'm paying for it, you owe me now. You'd be like, No, that's okay, our stuff needed to pay for me. You only accept the favor from someone if they literally said explicitly to you, I'm going to hold this against your head. Because you wouldn't say that you when you're doing someone a favor, you're not thinking oh, I'm gonna hold it against them or they owe me loyalty. You're

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thinking I'm doing a favor for this person because I care about them. You're also doing them as a favor because you'd want to do a good deed as a Muslim you want to please Allah subhanaw taala and you want to help your fellow Muslim brother or sister

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Let's handle to Allah says I'm not going to add, or you have believed do not invalidate your charities with reminders or injuries, as does one who spent his wealth only to be seen by people and does not believe in I love the last day. All of the good work that you've done so far from helping others around you, it becomes invalidated because you're reminding people look at everything that I did for you.

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The last tip that I want you guys to focus on is

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investing in yourself development. So there's a lot, especially for young people, you have a lot of free time you really, really do you have more free time than other people do. The time that you spent thinking about someone, you could invest it in yourself, okay. Honestly, there are.

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I was thinking about this yesterday, I want to read a quote, it's not Islamic quote, so don't quote me on this. And it said that Hellfire, hell is the day that you meet the person that you could have become, okay? Now imagine I want you guys to imagine, okay, every human being you know, your own potential, you know, what you're capable of doing? Think about where you would be, if you fully made use of all of the blessings that Allah had given you have all of the time that you would have and you had been productive? Where would you be, I would be way far ahead from where I am right now, because I procrastinate quite a bit. Now, in thinking of that, okay, you have a lot of time to

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invest in yourself and handler, we live in a time when knowledge is easy to access, where things are easy to learn, on our own convenience, in headphones, in the car, through podcasts, through videos, through document, whatever, you've got every single thing available to you. Okay, you know, when you waste time and pointless activities, you know, how much time could you have memorized with it? Okay, how much studying could you have done? For example? What new language could you have learned? You could have spent that time learning Arabic. Okay, so I want you guys to focus on this think about what attachments do you have in your life that are distracting you from last panel data? And how can

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you overcome those. So apart from that, now, your tasks for the day up, you're going to bake a cake and give it to your neighbor, you're not gonna buy one from the shop. baking a cake is not very hard. So if you're somebody who says I don't know how to bake, it's very, very easy. You can just google simple cake recipe. And it probably requires like five ingredients and an oven which is completely fine. I'm sure you can do if you don't want to do that. You can even make a cheesecake. No oven required. You don't need to bake anything, and again does not require that many ingredients. The next thing that you're going to do, like I said at the beginning of this podcast, I said I

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wanted you guys to be building up good habits. This time we're gonna do pmma for 30 minutes. We've been new families different times throughout the site detox challenge. I really want you guys to push yourself and excel and look at me live here for 30 minutes. inshallah you guys are having a wonderful day. And I will be with you guys tomorrow for the next day of our heart detox challenge. Have a wonderful day.