Attaching to Allah, A Dhul Hijjah Series #10 – How Do I Stop Comparing Myself To Others?

Thinking about the afterlife. I remember one of my friends she asked me this question. And she was like,

don't you think, you know and show up one day we get to agenda you're gonna be tired of you know, getting every single thing that you want. I was like that's so interesting

Allahumma Baddeck Liang female was an actor who worked for Lavon Warhammer.

So one of the reasons why we can't see our own blessings is often because we're so focused on what we think are the people's blessings. Alright, so especially in the social media world,

you see everyone else's best side, and you only see your worst side. Right? Everyone else's life seems amazing. And they're putting on a show. And all you see are your own hardships. Only their blessings, only your hardships. Like imagine if they had social media back then. Right? And this made it is that I'm seeing what's going on with this. How do you see that? You know, this whole civilization is developing in Palestine. And here I am in a barren desert. You know, but Subhanallah there's something beautiful about this made it so that and how divine ESL, honestly, when it comes to them about losing hope and what other people possess or not being connected to what other people

possess is have you ever jealous of sada. You don't see it? You don't see her being jealous of Sal. You don't see how you're saying, you know, I could have been over there living this life of clamor, and having, you know, this lineage of Prophethood developing in front of my eyes and civilization she's pleased was a little lost pantiles decree for her. And Allah tells us about his made it his Salam o countercyclical white. He was truthful to his promise yet, just thought it was okay. He was you know, he was teaching his family. This small group of people, tribe of children in the desert teaching them Prayer and Charity, truthful to his promise with Allah subhanaw taala at no point

Yeah, Allah How come I can't be like as happened yeah, gold and all of those. And liquid Allah gifted him with

Subhanallah coolness of his eyes, you get to have Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa salam from your eventual offspring. Alright, so you see the I always look at those those charts of the profits, right? So you see is hap it has Jaco Valdez, the children of Kobe salmon delineates in the lineage and lineage. And then you got this made out Islam, this long line that goes to Muhammad Sallallahu, hadal Hunkeler, the bust of Allah's creation.

But really, I mean, just the idea of how they embraced their role. And sometimes, you have to lose hope and what other people possess or what you think other people possess prophesized that I'm said, I'd marry so many of us lose hope and what other people possess, because you might have something and then you see what someone else has. And then suddenly, what you have is insufficient. You know, where as if it was just you, if you didn't know even that that blessing exists, you'd be satisfied. But because you've seen their house, because you've seen their car, because you've seen their spouse, because you've seen their life, because you've seen all that they're putting forth, suddenly

everything is insufficient for you. And you're constantly after what someone else has, and especially when it comes to the matters of this dunya in the matters of this world. You know, one of the sayings from I thought, Rahim, Allah, La you shack at a dinner if you do now, don't compete with the people of dunya over there. Dunya don't compete with the people of this world over the world. And so it's recalibrating, as we talked about previously, but it's also reactivating right towards that pursuits that you really should have pursuing the Ophira. without hating people, or envying people, or seeing your blessings is very little because you think you're seeing someone else's

blessings as a lot. What do you say to someone who is you're advising someone who's,

you know, thinks that your life is amazing, or your life is great? If you ever sat with someone and they thought you you were doing well, and you were going through something as well, and they're complaining to you about life? And it's like, Hey, you just don't know what I'm going through. Every one of you nodded your head.

It's like, you know, just because I'm not telling you. What I'm going through. Doesn't mean that I'm not going through something. Right. But you know, is there a moment maybe you can share something anonymous where like you

You either realized a blessing that you had or someone who you thought had it all, and they didn't have it. All right, the blessing was wow, like Subhanallah, they're actually going through a lot of hardship, or someone who didn't appreciate your hardship. I think in this day and age, if the news and social media are these, you know, people we think well off, and then you realize, so they end up in jail in prison, or they were doing really illegal, or, you know, how, how miserable their lives are, you know, substance abuse, in and out of rehab. And, in the end, again, it's what you mentioned, social media, we see people portray this lifestyle. But the reality is, you know, it's

probably most of the time is different. And everybody goes through hardships, everybody has test difficulties. And, unfortunately, we, and if once you realize that, you know, whatever you have 100, that, you know, this is, this is what I have, I don't, I don't care what somebody else's eyes. And this is what Allah has blessed me with, has blessed me with still, you know, I'll be content with it, and just do the best that I can with it. But as far as comparing our lifestyle of other people, or, you know, it's just, it's, it's never ending something so unique about Islam. We're taught to think about death, often. And it's not in a way for it to scare you or to make you feel sad. But

it's just to remember that at the end of the day, there's another life, and we're all going to be buried the same whether you're Muslim, non Muslim, rich, poor, you know, whatever it is, we're all going to be very the same. And thinking about the afterlife, I remember one of my friends, she asked me this question, and she was like,

don't you think, you know, Inshallah, one day we get to agenda, you're gonna be tired of, you know, getting every single thing that you want. I was like, That's so interesting. And I thought about it is like, that's the beauty of, you know, expecting and working for the hereafter. That, that ability of jealousy or that ability of laziness, they don't exist, because you've already gone through the test of this dunya.

To experience, you know, the riches and the beauty of two things that you mentioned there that are very important and often not brought into the discussion on the Prophet saw some said, Remember frequently, how do we live that the destroyer of pleasures, it's not just the destroyer of your blessings. It's the fact that that person that you're looking at,

who has billions and billions and billions of dollars, millions and clamor Subhan Allah when they die, not a single penny can be accessed.

When you think about that, like not a single penny can be accessed. Not a single phone call can be made.

It's like wait a minute,

I don't care what you build on their grave. Were in the same situation were in the same boat. And the one amongst us who is greater is the one who has a greater share in the hereafter. So the redirecting of pursuits Allah knows we have a competitive nature inside of us

well, he that he carefully it's an accident with an axe and the law says compete over that. See, will be formula who will be Rama T for Be very careful. Yes. Rocco, your own blessings. Say in the blessing of Allah, the bounty of Allah and His mercy. Let them find joy in that meaning. Instead of these worldly blessings you have find joy in that but then when it comes to competition, don't stop competing, compete over the right things and in the right ways. When you compete over that which is righteous, then you only compete in righteous ways to you're competing for what is the righteous reward and competing in righteous way so competing with your brothers and sisters you're trying to

get ahead with them you find joy when they get ahead and you want to get ahead to see compete for good deeds and you love them the way moose it is that um you know, the profits are the greatest example this Musa Islam saw the owner of the Prophet Muhammad SAW I said, I was like, you know, subhanAllah this is things I wish I could have had but then he gives him advice on how to grow this right because let's be real 50 prayers a day or you still become a Muslim 50 prayers a day.

And

then like, hey, how do we break these up? But definitely Yeah, so I mean,

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but the fact that Musa is some still gives him an advice the prophets like some advice and tries to make things easier for us, right and

We have that way for when Brahim is some sees the prophesy some and sees his Alma he's proud give Salam to the OMA says yeah Muhammad. So I said I'm giving it out to your own. And then he gives us some some ways to get ahead. Here's some seeds you can plant for Jenna Subhan Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah like, like, like Ibrahim Islam told the prophets, I saw them, give us Saddam and tell us plant some seeds for yourselves in paradise. That's what you should be doing right now. So it's like, compete, but compete over the right things. And so that's one element that you bring in have had the one of the that the destroyer of pleasures, that person is not going to have any of this

when they die, we're all going to be in the same boat. And the second element of this is when it comes to Paradise, and a competition over paradise, that's an open competition. And it's for the taking. And the beauty of it when we get into paradise May Allah make us from the people genuine, make it may Allah make us from and for those of Allah, the highest level, we don't have hard feelings towards each other. That's one. Number two, no matter what level you're in, you think you're in the highest level. You don't think you don't see people above you having more than you because that would grieve you.

Which is one of the blessings of paradise, right? Because if you're in paradise and thinking you're left out and deprived, then it's not really done that for you, right? So Subhan Allah these, these, these redirects, Allah does not crush our nature. Allah subhana wa Tada redirects it to its most perfect potential. And that's what this pursuit becomes. So SR SATA, someone says, Look, I know I should be pleased with what I have. And I know I should be thinking well of what other people have. But I can't shake this jealousy and envy that I have. I can't stop comparing myself to other people. What do I do?

Jealousy is one of those natural human emotions. But it's one of the ones that we feel most judged for, and we judge ourselves most for, and it is one of the ones that can be most detrimental to us, it can really let lead to a sense of, of dissatisfaction. And it's just a very hard feeling, to to experience. And one of the reasons why it's so important to work on that that feeling of jealousy and try to really combat it, is because in essence, when we're jealous, and we have this idea of Why did Allah Subhana Allah bless her or him with that, and not me.

It can, it can inevitably lead to some doubts, it can lead to us questioning Allah subhanaw taala as decree LS pans out as wisdom, when we're thinking, that should have been me, but we don't know better than Allah Subhana Allah, if Allah subhana, Allah chose that person for that blessing, then that means that that was that's the decree of Allah Subhana Allah and there's some good in that, whether that's their test, whether that's, you know, there's, there's some sort of good in it for them. And there's some sort of good in it for us that we were not blessed with it. And when we can embrace that, it really helps to alleviate any of those doubts or negative feelings that we might

have toward toward ALLAH SubhanA. Donna? And so how can we take that step to really combat that, that feeling of jealousy? I think one of the most helpful things is to create a mindset shift that instead of looking at a blessing that somebody has, and think, why them and not me, instead, view it as an indication that if ALLAH SubhanA, Allah gave it to them, then there's always the possibility that he can give it to me too. And making dot for that person and you know, the LS path that increases them and whatever good there is in that for them. And that LS pancetta gives you that as well. So that it's not or, but it's and it's natural for us to want things that we don't have. That

also Selim describes it beautifully, where he says that, you know, if the son of Adam were to be given a valley filled with gold, he would want to, you know, and and we all want that we all and that's actually a quality, that can be beautiful, is that you're always striving for better, you're always striving for good. So how do we channel that quality to gain good in this life? Is you look at your circumstance, and you think to yourself, Okay, I'm in this boat? How do I make the most of it? And if I am dissatisfied, is there something that I can change? Is there something that I can take control of in this moment, to, to yield something something positive? Is there something that

Ellis Pattana has given me that I can I can do to create a change in my circumstances. And then also, I think one of the things that's really important is to look at the blessings that you do have, a lot of times we're always looking at the blessings that other people have, which causes us to ignore the blessings that we do have, and that's where jealousy can come into the mix and be really detrimental. So shifting our focus in in terms of that

That can also be really powerful. So go ahead and give a shout out below to someone that you know who has been doing great work for the community but often goes unrecognized and make sure that you put a do out for them as well. Does that go low height?