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Counsel & Healing from Surah 4, Ayah 4
Channel: Nouman Ali Khan
Series: Nouman Ali Khan - Counsel and Healing
File Size: 21.05MB
Episode Transcript ©
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When we learn when I show a client of Raji
we're at one nice
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mean who laughs fabuleux honey
publish it somewhere silly Emily looked at me lasagna Coco Lee hamdulillah salat wa salam O Allah. So the whole URL here SAP is rain, I know where I live, it's pretty late. I think it's over 1am. But I can't sleep. And I was thinking about sorting this out during the day. So I found the energy to do at least some broadcasts. So here I am, I'm here in the studios, and behind me is the eternal black void of contemplation. So, inshallah, I hope you guys enjoy this session, I think it's about something pretty important. And while the thoughts are fresh in my mind, I decided to actually, you know, review some things about this idea, the fourth I have sold on this app. So the fourth, third
or fourth, I read up a little bit about it in, in our shows to see at the wheel and he just said some so many profound things that I figured that I really want you to know them and I want to you know, be able to summarize them for you, so that you can keep them with you now taking it back to the essence of this series. The point of it was to extract counsel and healing for ourselves in the way that speaks to us that touches our hearts. And sort of the Nyssa has a lot of Islamic law, right it has
regulations about marriage and inheritance and you know, dealings with orphans and things like that and
so we often think of law as the halal and haram and the obligatory in our religion and we disconnect it from what what is happening in our lives emotionally and spiritually. But the premise from which I'm coming today and and hope you you and I never lose sight of this is Allah's laws are directly connected to our relationship with Allah spiritually. So when we're observing a law of Allah, then it will heal us emotionally and spiritually, there's a guaranteed connection. And when we're when we're violating Allah's law, then it will hurt us spiritually, it will hurt me spiritually, it will hurt me emotionally, there will be consequences. And just like in the physical world, there are
consequences causing effect, right? Fire burns, or gravity pulls down right there you can observe physical cause and effect every single day in what you do, you and I do, violating Allah's laws have spiritual and long term cause and effect in our lives. This is evidenced in the Quran over and over again. So as I talk to you about this, I actually want to share this with you. Because in our families, when marriages happen, and you know, families come together, and a husband and a wife come together, this is a time of celebration, it's a time of, it's an act of about that so so now the prophets of Allah Juan de Soto, and none of it should be in violation of Allah's law, like all of
it, we should try and make sure is under the shade of Allah His blessing by observing Allah's law and every component of it. And one of those components is what's commonly known in the Muslim culture as
the dowry. And there's lots of words in the Quran for it. So interestingly, one of the words I'll write it here on the screen for you is agile, actually, agile means I'll lower it a little bit so you guys can see our job is compensation.
And agile is earned compensation actually.
That's Allah's way of saying that the method is not something that is extra, it is deserved by the wife. So the marriage gift, which we call dowry, in many cultures is actually mandated that's why it's called a budget. And in describing it, you know what to do to hoonah for de Botton as an obligation so the word for Riba is used on top of that, an agenda is already a free law but Allah goes out of his way to say it's absolutely mandatory for a man to give it. Then, the reason I brought this up from citizen This
is the certainty shot begins by having taqwa of Allah. Then it says, what actually uttama Amala home, give orphans, their money, meaning if you're raising an orphan, or you know an orphan left assets behind and you were taking care of them. Now the orphan is old enough, you need to give them what was theirs, you can usurp their wealth because there there are a group of people in society that nobody will look out for. So Allah is looking out for them and saying, if you violate the orphans rights, then you are committing a massive crime. So immediately after the opening of saltiness, our lessons have Taqwa of Allah. He told us that one of the most important places to have
Taqwa of Allah is the orphan, right and then
Right after that, this is now the fourth idea, he starts talking about giving women their dowry. So the question arises Why is this the first time sorting this out told me? What what are haram have Taqwa of Allah and have Taqwa of the relationships that are connected with the womb.
Allah says me having taqwa of him is directly connected to me being mindful of all the relationships that are tied to the wound. And look at how beautifully The next thing Allah does is he talks about people who have been severed from the connection of the womb, those parents have died. Right? So they don't have the connection of the of harm. So we have to go out of our way and protect them. And then he talks about the female, the woman, the wife, why, because she's disconnected as a family from the relationship of her womb. We took her from the husband took her from her parents, her relationship with the woman and brought her into his household. So you have to go out of your way to
protect her. And then of course, with the wife, there's going to be a child. Or there's a there's the the opportunity for children which is a connection of the womb. So honoring the wife is part of an extension of the taqwa of Allah, and it's within the IRA. What kind of harm but who knows what Allah Allah, Allah be here? Well our hammer, meaning what tala hammer Be mindful of the relationships of the womb. So now a few things that just let me translate this first part of the I have for you, Otto Nyssa, and give women so Ducati henna, their marriage gifts NIF Latin, and if Latin actually means easily, give effortlessly give them their marriage gifts effortlessly. This is
the commandment from Allah. Here are a few things that have been sure says I highlighted them in this paper, I got one, because I really didn't want to miss any of them. So I want you to hear them and hear them with an open heart. First of them, Johnny ban mustard I find fungi helliya at Walmart, he says before his farm, there were two groups that were especially abused, like their weakness was exploited. And those were the orphan and the woman. In other words, if that ever happens again, then we're back in the age of jack Hillier, and if you and I are culprits of that, then we're engaged in idea. That's one thing that really hit me hard when he as he read as I read it, for valleca How does
a human or a shadow hair loss and the invalidity and that's why the Quran it seems is so like zealous the Quran is so you know, aggressively highlighting these two groups above all else with such intensity. So the rights of the orphan and the rights of the wife have been immediately highlighted the financial rights of the wife starting with the dowry. Then he says for for kolu attorneys at phone and Akali out on atulya Tama Amala home he says when Allah says in the fourth I give a give women that's actually an extension of where he started previously by saying give the orphans so just like in the Quran, you know if violating the financial rights of an orphan is the
same as eating fire into our bellies in the lithonia coluna Amalia Tama woman in Nigeria coluna feeble Tony him now those who eat the monies of the orphan are they are eating fire into their bellies. Right. And he now connected the rights of the orphan with the rights of of the wife and the douche. That's a pretty serious thing. It's not to be taken lightly. Right. Then he says one more hapa Phil Emery. He unfairly had Aqua lumen Laguna Siebel philomel with Alec This is where things get heavy guys. He says who is Allah saying give women their you know, their gifts. He's seeing commandments like these are directly addressed to all those whom it applies to. So it's not just the
husband, it's sometimes the husband's family or even the girl's family, the guy's family in the girl's family. Because I'll skip ahead and tell you before Islam or Arabs had a certain culture. Previous to Islam they had this thing called Helwan. This is not in the Quran. The Quran is actually against this word, Hillel. And this was a gift to the girl's family.
girl's family. So when the guy took the proposal, they said what's where's our where's our Helwan? Right? And then when they got it, the father got it. The mother got it, whatever, whoever got it. A small piece of that will go to the girl but the family of the girl would hold on too much of it. Like what are we going to get out of it if we give you our daughter, right? And Islam came and crushed that and said don't give women all of it. Your family doesn't get anything. The girl's family gets nothing. Now what's happened in many South Asian cultures for example, forget the one where the girl's family gets something. It's the guy's family. So forget giving the girl dowry. Now
we want dowry for the boy. So the boys like this treasured asset the boy the man's treasure asset in the girl's family comes we'd like to marry Oh yeah, well, you need to get us a new fridge and a car and this. This is like wait. It's not even
Against Serbia, it's the opposite of the lava Allah. It's the opposite. And we're not even messing with something small. We're messing with something extremely sacred. That practice needs to come to an end immediately because you're just you're invoking Allah's rage. Because this, these commandments did not come casually. They came in the guise of having taqwa of Allah. Like that practice is the extreme opposite of the taqwa of Allah. It's extreme defiance of Allah's law. So anyway, so he says something else he says that sometimes this I also includes those who create obstacles in the in the woman receiving her dowry. So what does that mean? It means that let's you
know, what we do in many cultures is the dowry is like an outrageous number. It's a crazy Oh, it's $100,000. Or it's, you know, a house or whatever, some crazy crazy number, and the guy clearly can't afford it. But you know, he'll agree to the number anyway, because it's just something you say, nobody's going to take it seriously. And then if the if the woman later on even asks for it, then come on.
inshallah. Yeah, so you just kind of you push it off. And I've even seen crazy practices where the girls given jewelry on the day of the wedding is dalry. And then the mother in law comes and takes it back and says, No, that's for our daughter when she gets
like, you just got to hold it to take pictures. Or you're, you're you're playing with Allah's law. It's such a deep violation because that is the same as robbing an orphan of his money as the same crime that that's what I wanted to highlight here. But the I told you there are spiritual consequences, right. So when we want our marriages, there's so many doors made for people for couples that are getting married and there's like barakallahu, Docomo Baraka, Lake Como Marina, come up and hide in the middle of shower you with blessings for you and over you and reunite you, you know with goodness. When you start by removing all goodness from the equation because you violated
the taqwa of Allah. You know, then where's the goodness in that marriage and a come from it that marriage is only going to have drama and suffering and you know, health issues and social issues and psychologically, you're creating all those issues for yourself because you're shutting down the doors of butter in your life, because you're messing with this just to save a few bucks. If for the for the guys that are listening to this. If you're about to get married, don't agree to him or her, you know, you can't pay. Don't do it. Don't mess with the laws. You're not just messing with the family, you're messing with Allah's law, be straight up and say I cannot pay that. And when you are
going to pay then you have to pay and this is where the word ninja will come in.
And listen to what he or she says Actually, let me finish reading this then I'll tell you who I know tomorrow, fertility Africa, VEDA nica Hey, Wendell mahana he says this is the mahad which is the word is sadu cotton, this idea sloughed ducard which I haven't translated yet, this word that marriage gifts for now calling it marriage gifts. But we're going to dig deeper into this.
This is the distinctive feature that separates Islam or a blessed union between a man and a woman and an illicit relationship.
He says this is the defining separation between a blessed relationship and an illicit relationship. Then he says like it now Pooja Hillier can is it? Oh, we did the whole one thing I already explained that to you for Abdullah who Delica for this stamp. Now let's talk about what this word actually means. It's actually the this Sundew card is the plural of the word, subtle.
And subtle come from the word sit.
which actually means truth.
This word actually means truth.
And it's called sardu. car because you promised the girl that you'll pay her this money. And now you're being true to your word, and it's making the marriage true.
It's making the marriage. So this word, you know, it's crazy. That's what this word means. It's tied to sadaqa. Right? Or savoca. And from from civic, and what have we turned it into? We've turned it into sadaqa.
We've turned it into optional charity.
Like we're doing the woman a favor. No, you're not. First of all, you don't owe her you owe Allah. It's the same as the card. It's the same as inheritance. When you're fulfilling the proportions of inheritance. You're not giving the the recipient father brothers, you're not giving them you're giving to what is owed to Allah because Allah is law, not their law. Once you agree to it, this financial transaction has nothing to do with the person receiving it is a transaction between you and fulfilling me and fulfilling the law of Allah? That's all it is. There's no personal personal feelings involved. You understand? And if there are that we don't understand that this is actually
an obedience to the law of Allah. Now, so Allah could have said now let me erase some of this and show you something. What are the
Lisa, also Ducati Honda, that would have been enough.
If Allah said give women their marriage gifts. That's it. That's all you have to say give women their marriage gifts.
But after saying give women their marriage gifts so to call the ones that prove the truthfulness of this relationship, he added the word
This is a hell
and I won't go into the Arabic of it because it's it's heavy stuff. It's a Heil, which comes as a mustard, which is an extreme form of Minerva, for my Arabic students. inshallah, one day we'll cover that in detail, but for now, know that some of you might be familiar. There's a surah in the Quran called a nun.
Okay, so what is a B have to do with this word net? I'm not translating it yet. Then the Arab says comma,
comma, my handwriting gets uglier as the night passes come out of nothing, which means a delicate moon.
The moon you can barely see
Amarna Hill This is safe now.
Some of you might know safe means sword. Safe now Hill is a brittle
They say just enough
for a body like a fist a person a body ready to collapse.
we can buy exhaustion they said they use it for that.
We put it up here, gentlemen.
That's that's the Arabic literature. German Gemini Hill. is actually masoom It's a weekend camel.
can't walk anymore.
All of these words have to do with weakness. Yeah.
breaking something breaks off easily. a camel collapses easily a body falls or falls off easily. A B releases the honey easily. There's a release of energy, there's a release of life, there's a release, release, release an easy release, the word is being used to describe the way in which the dowry should be given. There should be no argument complaint. There should be no
seriously Why do you have to you know, you know how life is hard. Right? You know, I love you right? isn't love enough of them? I have?
No right. Now, you have to, you have to be easy in your release of the nahan. That's a commandment from Allah. So here's a commandment from Allah where it isn't just do this, right? It's what to do. But the nicklin adds to the commandment, this is what you must do. And this is how you must do it.
Right? So you don't normally have in the commandments of Allah of what and how. You just have a what? Right? And then the How can be good quality, bad quality, but at least you got the one done, right. But here he says what to do and how to do it. The attorneys are so Ducati, he knows what to do. And the necmettin is how to do it, do it in a delicate way. Do it in a way that express shows you're weak don't don't do it in a bullying way. Don't do it in a nagging way. Don't do it in a sarcastic way. And you cannot I'm not allowed in shut er, you're not allowed as a man that if once then the mahad is agreed on that you turn to renegotiate it, you're not allowed. That's a violation
of NAFTA. And that's a violation of the words of the court that I put a previously. It's a violation of those words. We're not allowed to do that. The reason I put this in this series, and I thought about it for myself and for all of you in our families, you know, we have children that will get married one day, we have friends and family that get married. This is an important conversation because Allah says in this same surah you really love when you're happy for uncle, Allah wants to make your burden lighter for you. All the laws Allah has given is to remove burdens. If you don't do this right, then you might see the consequences of is this later on in your life because when we
violate Allah commands, the doors to it is and Baraka and blessings and protection close, then you, you don't be surprised when your business is collapsing. Don't be surprised when you're the first one to get laid off. Don't be surprised that all of a sudden you got started getting back pain, like there are other dimensions of your life where you think there's no cause and effect with this. But one violation will actually open the door to so many problems. You won't even realize where those problems are coming from. Save yourself from those problems and don't toy with the law of Allah. Don't close the doors of Allah's blessings to and so and quickly with this. I wish I didn't go into
detail at all in the eye but just just so we have the complete translation of the eye for including other Comanche human who have said and if out of their own good Free Will they give you something for Kudu then you can eat it honey and Maria carefree. In other words, let's just hypothetically say that I agree to give you agree to give $100 in in gallery, right? And then you paid it. Now once you pay it, don't stare at it.
is gone yellow, it's been released and once it's been given by the way that literary connection to the bee and also the sweetness of it meaning there's a sweet way in which it is released, etc it's all it's all there but once you gave it then the wife looks at takes $100 and then she says here's here's $2 Go get yourself an ice cream or something. She says that then you can say no stock for law. This is a laws right over me and I have to No no, no Alessia is chill out, you did your part. Now if she on her own, not because you were staring and drooling at the 100 bucks, not because you made a sad puppy face. Not because times are really hard to you're trying to allude to the fact that
now because of that on their own in liberal left home and shaman who Knutsen on their own entirely if out of their own goodness, they decided to spend some of it on you that's on them. You can't put direct or indirect pressure on them. Money does matter in Islam. Money is related to spirituality. And so many of our dramas and crises in our families have to do with money and have to do and it's it's politically incorrect to say but it's a reality. So many Muslim families that are now parents or grandparents now. And if you have the hard conversation with those parents, hey, so what did dad give you? What a grandpa give you from my home? While they agree to this? Did they give it now?
they never give them a little bit I should say. He said this is the distinctive quality between an illicit relationship and marriage Malbec preserved those marriages. But we have made a joke out of the giving of them out and in so many women don't even know what their parents agreed to. Like the parents have negotiated them ahead and she's out of the conversation. That is a violation of the Quran. Closing attorney Sasa Ducati, hiner, they're good. They have to decide what the match should be. They have the exclusive right the family is not if she's not old enough to figure that out. She's not smart enough to get married. If you think you have to decide that for her, then she has no
business getting married. But if you if you think she's ready for marriage, then she's an adult, and she has to make that decision herself. And she has to be given that that that freedom, and so does the guy the guy has to make that decision. The family can't decide that for him. He has to pay it. It's his surety obligation. It's his obligation to Allah. So we have to, you know, bring the sacred back into our relationships. And when we bring that sacred back into our relationships, then the blessings of the sacred will also return back into our relationships. Thanks a lot for listening. You guys. I know it's really late particularly welcome. So multi camera tigercat
how cool how cool. I know