Nouman Ali Khan – Beware Bad Trendsetters

Nouman Ali Khan
AI: Summary © The segment discusses the negative impact of society on individuals, including the pressure on individuals to wear certain clothing and the importance of culture in society. The speaker emphasizes the need for a low standard and avoiding risk of harm, as well as the importance of following rules and shaming footsteps. The segment also addresses the crisis of "has been very difficult to follow" for Muslim men, particularly for women, and the need for parents to acknowledge their children and spend time with them. The segment also addresses the crisis of "has been very difficult to follow" for Muslim men, particularly for women, and the need for parents to share their experiences.
AI: Transcript ©
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Hola, hola, Sabina, and the naughty Bella Ilaha, Illallah. I mean, Robin, I mean,

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I want to start my football with something very simple. I think something everybody here understands

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that as people that live in society, we can't help but feel pressure from society.

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And when that is said societal pressure, we usually think of bigger things. But really, it boils down to even the most microscopic details in our life.

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Those of you that have children will notice your children want a certain toy.

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And more than anything else, sometimes they want that toy because someone else at school has it.

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They want to get what somebody else has, that's a form of societal pressure, their children started getting a little bit older, and they want to dress a certain way. And the idea of them wanting to dress that certain way didn't come from their own imagination. It came from something they saw on TV that was defined to them as the way to dress, or someone they suggest that we are at school and is popular. And that sort of becomes the defining thing for them. And they want to dress that way or look that way or buy that gadget or have a phone, little kids wanting to have a phone. Right? What do you need a phone for? I don't know, my friends have a two. Why can't I have it? You probably

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parents have heard that logic before they have it. Why Can I have it? When you get a little bit older, the same societal pressure. It takes different forms. It can be something as simple as you parking your car at your office in the parking lot. And your co worker has a nicer car and you go man, I need to get ahead. Look at what these guys are driving. You know the neighborhood you live in, and you go visit one of your friend's house who lives in a nicer neighborhood and the thought is running in your mind.

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Then when am I going to get to this point, I need to be where this guy is at or better. We're always comparing ourselves to what other people have. And we're constantly vying consciously or subconsciously, to get what other people have. Also, this is what I mean by societal pressure, whether it comes in or whether it comes in the form of you dressing, or it comes in the form of what you purchase, where you put your money, what kind of career you want to pursue, a lot of times our parents, they given the societal pressure, so whether their children are made for that or not, they will make sure these they say to their children, you better become a medical doctor.

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Because if you don't, you're a failure at life. Everybody else around us that are successful, they're all doctors. So that's the only thing in life to do. And I'm not saying being a physician is a bad practice. But if your son or daughter becomes a doctor, and they did not want to be, I would never want to be their patient.

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I wouldn't want to go to them, if the only reason they chose this profession is because their parents forced them to, or because of some kind of societal pressure. These are pressures that exist all around us. This comparison stuff is all around us. And it's so it can become so strong that a person can almost feel enslaved. They're not even free anymore. Which is really ironic that we're living in a society that prides itself over being free. Right, it prides itself over having independent freedom, I can do whatever I want. Dress however I want talk however I want, you know, look, however I want, spend my money on whatever I want. That's the thing that makes this society,

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pride itself take pride in itself. And yet, if you go to somewhere as simple as high school, you'll find a bunch of kids that are dressed almost exactly the same.

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They're just almost exactly the same. All the hip hop kids are they look the same, all the goth kids look the same. All the emo kids look the same. It's almost like they go through a uniform. And even the way they talk has to be a certain way to fit in with that crowd.

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And if you don't fit into that crowd, then you're you're out, you're an outcast. And so when you look at that i don't i don't see freedom, when I see that what I see is cultural slavery.

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These, this young man, or this young woman can't even make that decision of how to look or how to talk or how to walk for themselves, they have to conform to what is going on around them.

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And sometimes it's willing, sometimes you submit that that is the better way to live, that is the better way to dress or to talk, oh, that's the better thing to do with my time. That's the kind of music I want to be addicted to, or these are the kinds of practices I'll do, whatever, that's one conscious decision, the person makes that that's the life to live. And sometimes it's even pressured, I've met mooseland teenage kids that have come to me in private, and when you look at them are like, Man, this is this kind of gang or something. And they'll come to you in private, and they'll be crying, because they say I don't want to dress like this. I don't want to look like this.

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But if I don't, I'll get beat up at school.

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That's cultural slavery. That's a form of slavery. But it's not just about the youth, and their, you know, whether they become enslaved to musical culture or entertainment culture, and they want to be just like whatever, you know, that famous athlete or musician or actor is, it's beyond that. It's even for older generations. For older generations, this kind of cultural slavery takes a different texture, it takes a different tone. You have you did things a certain way in your country or in your society, you were you saw that your entire life. You want to make sure your family and your children will do things exactly the same way, whether that's good for them or not, doesn't matter. This is

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how we do things. This is how it has to be done. And we're enslaved to certain definitions.

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In that context, what I want to share with you first and foremost, is a very powerful idea about the role of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam,

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one of the functions of the Messenger of Allah that he thought was so dumb, that is described in suits without us even though my hotbar today is not about this is a whole bunch of today's about a couple of biotopes little bacara. But I want to start with this ayah from Surah.

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Allah so we did this talking to people of the book,

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who knows that the Prophet has been told about in their own books. So this final messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is foretold in their own books and allies testifying to that in this ayah. That part of the I'll skip through, but I'll tell you the part of the ayah that describes the messengers roles from Allah, Allah who said them, he says, Yeah, Bill Murphy went home and it won't carry when you're

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when you're traveling while he was alive,

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he commands them to good things. He forbids them from evil things. He opens the doors for them, he makes permissible for them good impure things. And he makes impermissible for them filthy things. This is the one of the central roles of a messenger of Allah and this final messenger of Allah that

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He will tell us to do good things, keep us away from bad things, open the door to pure things for us and close the door, from filthy things away from us. So we stay away from the filthy things. But then Allah mentioned something very powerful, well yoba, on whom Islam was done, and that he can talk to him.

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And to remove from them listen to this part carefully to remove from them. The burdens is sort of a heavy burden. It also actually means that agreement, so combining the two meanings, it actually means a very heavy agreement, a loaded agreement, he came to remove that burden from them. And Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah poke your affiliates, you know, the chains that are put in the hands or around the neck. You know, what, what kind of person has those kinds of chains, you know, right? A prisoner, a prisoner has chains around his hands and have chains around his neck. Allah says this messenger came to remove people of burdens, and the chains that were around their hands and necks

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that they were they were enslaved by. He came to remove them, what chains are these? as society goes forward? The only thing even in a Muslim society, of course, the first thing we're concerned about, like the first generation, the only thing on their minds was what is permissible, what is not permissible? What is it that we have to do? And what is it that we have to forbid, that was their primary concern, nothing else mattered, everything else was secondary. But as time goes on in an oma society, and this pressure starts mixing in, so you don't just have the obligation to abide by what a law says, Now, you also have the obligation to abide by what society says,

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You've got additional chains, you've got additional burdens, and the messenger comes to let go of those burdens. We think we follow societal pressure, because it will make life easy. It does nothing but make life harder. A lot of times when people follow a particular tradition, and I'll give you an example, closer to home, I'm from Pakistan, originally, and this is a problem in Pakistan, I'll tell you, we have to have the most lavish kinds of weddings, you have the most the most exotic, the most over the top super expensive kinds of weddings, even if the family can't afford it. Even if they can't afford they have to have that kind of wedding. And if you ask the family, why are you doing

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this? Why are you putting yourself in 1000s of dollars of credit card debt? Why are you doing that? They say, well, your cousin had a wedding like that. What are we going to show? How are we going to show our face to your uncle? Or this friend of yours got married? They had a big wedding? How are we going to just have a nigga had too much debt? What are you crazy? What are we we have to show our face in society. It's not because the dean says you should go over the top. It's what society, society. And so they'll put themselves in all kinds of financial trouble. And imagine a young man and woman who are just getting married. And it'd be lucky if they're young. Because if they're from

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the countries that we come from, they don't let them get them, get them married until they're like 30 or something. But if they are young, and they get married, they're just starting out and they start their life with debt. They start their married life with this huge burden on them because of this insane party that no one remembers Three days later. For nothing else, just to fulfill a societal urge this this pressure that somebody felt no other reason. What are people gonna say?

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Right? What are people gonna say, if we don't do this, so much concerned about what people might say. And it leads you into your deeper troubles for yourself. On the other hand, the law says you need a low and you have the funcom. Allah just wants to lighten your burden.

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Allah wants to take the load off of you. That's what the dean is supposed to be. And you'll find people that are enslaved to their culture. They're enslaved to their societal pressure. When they talk about Islam. They say Islam is tough. Islam is too strict. That's exactly what these people say, Islam is too strict. And what's funny is, if they followed even small principles of the dean, their life would be a lot easier. The Dean would make their life easier, not harder. And what they're trying to follow only lays them in deeper and deeper and deeper trouble.

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That's what it lends them into. But they don't realize it. A messenger comes to remove these burdens. But there's another meaning of these burdens also in these chains. You know, when we follow a certain way in our life, our children learn from us, just like our parents learn from their parents, and it's passed down. So when we stand in front of a law on judgment day, and we have generations of people who disobeyed a law because of societal pressure, we're chained to them. We're tied to them, their burden is our burden because we set that trend. We set that precedent for them, we have to answer for what they've done also, they have to answer for themselves. And we on top of

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that, so Paula, it's a serious problem. This is why Rahim alayhis salam has an intelligent father and makes the law or actually we are taught to make the dog with

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imama right, make us Mr. mover and with the payments total for con, because on Judgement Day, we don't want to be tied to people that went down the wrong path. They're gonna drag us down with them.

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Now I want to take you to the fact that this football is actually about

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this is from sootel bacara and then sort of Bukhara towards the second half of this surah one of the main conversations is what people follow, what people follow, who they end up following, and why they follow who they follow.

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Now, this particular passage that I chose has to do with the Day of Judgment. And on judgment day, everybody stands up and I want you to think of it this way, there are trendsetters and there are trend followers. You follow someone when you did something, you dress a certain way you walked a certain walk you talk to certain talk, you bought a certain kind of car, you move to a certain kind of neighborhood, you hung out with a certain kind of posse, this this was your these were your trendsetters, you were around them, most of what you did was influenced by them. These are your trendsetters. This is about them. These trendsetters, these are the people that people like to

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follow is the Barbara and Latina to be meaner Latina Tabasco,

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when those who used to be followed, those who used to be followed, these are trendsetters,

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when they will be cutting themselves off disassociating themselves from all those who used to follow them. So here you are, you made your life miserable, trying to be like someone trying to fit in with a certain crowd, worried about what they're going to think of you how acceptable you'll be to them. Judgment Day comes around. And the first thing these trendsetters do these leaders do is they say I have nothing to do with you, when you try to be like me.

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I want nothing to do with you.

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I got nothing to do with you. And you'll be like, Wait, you're the one who told me don't rent an apartment, go get into a house. You're the one who said you have to be smart, go get into a mortgage. Don't worry about just do it. And listen to you know, everybody around you. You guys are the ones who got me into this. You're the one who told me this is a good business idea. Yeah, it's got liquor too, but it's okay. Don't worry about it. Around the corner, you can make extra Salawat up alright, it'll clean it all up. Don't worry about it. So good business, I'm telling you a lot of money in it. And I went into this business because I listened to you. I got into it because of you.

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You know, you have certain circles in the Muslim community. I won't even talk about outside Muslim communities that's inside Muslim community, you have certain circles, you have the business circle, you have the professional circles, you have the physician circles. And in each circle, there are certain standards, right? There are certain kinds of parties, they like to throw other certain kinds of gatherings they like to have and each one tries to outdo the other to keep up with the circle.

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They make each other they feed each other in their wrongdoing. And now they're cutting off from each other on Judgment. I want nothing to do with you. All that stuff you did is your problem, not my problem. It's nothing to do minella Xena trabajo para la de they will all be alarmist agenda, which combines everybody, the followers, and the leaders are all looking at the punishment for the homeless. And all relationships at that point are cut. You don't care about no society when nobody else thinks then it's all gone. all zeros. All of that stuff that we were so worried about here completely erased. And now the people who mindlessly followed. And before I talk about mindlessly

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following I have to interject

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on our flight here from Dallas, my I flew with my family to California, maybe about 10 days ago.

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So we're all the kids were asleep. And so my wife and I were the only ones awake. And you know how they dropped the TV screen. So thankfully, the children were all asleep. So we're the only ones even if you don't want to. It's right in your face that TV screen, right. And we don't have headphones. That's a silent film for us. You know what it was? It was the Justin Bieber documentary.

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So we watched the Justin Bieber, it was torture and the second hour and a half of Justin Bieber in your face, but will lie. It was an educational experience. every two minutes I just look at my wife and go

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because you see him walk by and these girls are crying.

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And they're screaming. And their parents are so happy that he got to touch their daughters.

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This is how enslaved these people get

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is how crazy they get this ridiculous, you know girls wearing his his face on their book bags on their shirts and

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it was mind boggling to me how that can be. And what's that going to look like on Judgement Day. I got nothing to do with my fans. I want nothing to do with you. But Takata ademola suave and at that point, all of the followers what

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They're going to say, we'll call the Xena taboo.

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And those who used to follow, they're going to be saying, no anila camera.

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If we only had another chance, we would cut ourselves off from them. Like they're cutting themselves off from us now.

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They're saying this on Judgement Day when they're crying. They're saying if we only had a chance, do they get a chance? No. Do you and I have a chance. Yes.

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That's why the AI is telling us this. Don't wait till the point where you regret it. Be that now. And for a moment, I want to talk to the parents here. When you buy your when we bought our children, Disney gear. When we buy our children, you know, we will let them watch whatever they want to watch on TV. Oh, it's just cartoons. It ain't just cartoons anymore. Let me tell you. It ain't just cartoons anymore. They put a lot of stuff in there. Right. And I used to teach at an Islamic school back in the day. And you know, these little girls would have like, you know, Hannah Montana book bags coming to Islamic school. Right? They've got these girls books. And they're fans of them. And

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they watch all the shows and stuff. And when these same girls that are on Disney or whatever, Nickelodeon or whatever, when they're teenagers, when they're 20. When they're 19. They're half naked. And now what do you what are you going to do? How are you going to explain that to your children? You allowed them to be trend followers. You did that? I did that. We have to be cautious. What are we allowing our children to become?

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Before you know what they'll be out of your control? They will be enslaved to that culture. Some of you are experiencing that. Now. Some of your children are teenagers and you don't even recognize them. Like what happened to you? Why are you dressed like that? What are you doing with your hair? What is that? You will know? But it's a trend and they're just following. That's all they're doing? Well, Carla, Xena TARULLO. Angela Nakamura, Vanessa amin, home Camacho mina karateka. Yuri him Allahu Allah Hassan Ali, Baba Mahajan, Amina now. That is how Allah shows them all of their deeds, so they can not just have forgotten him. It's unique. Allah says Hassan Ali him regret on top of

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regret on top of regret falling over them. There's, you know, punishment itself is bad. But regret is a form of punishment itself. When you regret something, when the regret really overtakes you, it's a kind of torture itself, unless as it will be coming on them over and over and over again. Why didn't I listen? Why didn't I change myself? How did I allow myself to be like this? And they won't be coming out of the fire Well, my home behati genome in an hour. Aloha Manasa giandomenico right after this ayah Allah azza wa jal gives us a commandment about consuming halal

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under the dominance of the halal and even

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as a pawn in the hula Komodo movie, it's really interesting, because most of the time when we follow trends, what do we leave, we leave the halaal we leave the permissible and we pursue the impermissible so Allah reminds us Look, don't fall into those trends. Don't fall into that pressure. Consume that which is Helen, what is good and pure. Don't let the footsteps don't follow the footsteps of Stefan. And here we are thinking we're following footsteps of society and allies telling us No no, no, that was just a that was just the shallow cover. The reality of it was these were footsteps of shape on

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in the hula kumudam movie.

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And then the last thing what is shape on do what is his what are the two things that he will get you to commit in them I assume he was actually one Saku Allah him Allah tala moon, he'll command you to evil. He'll command you to shamelessness. And to say things about Allah, you have no idea of I want to explain that briefly in this clip by is done.

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When people want to follow whatever it is they want to follow, and they don't want to hear about the dean the dean is Islam is too strict. I don't know I go to Juma and stuff. But that's, that's already more than enough. I'm doing a lot of favor by being a Juma on, you know, showing up. I don't need to be here on time. If I just show up before they start praying or before they say Salaam that's enough for me lastin first out, right, that's the majority of the congregation. Usually, if you're that person, and listen to this, then just listen for a moment. If you think you're doing a lesbian a favor, and what you really need to live your life for has already been defined for you by

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your culture, by your trip, but by outsiders by what everybody else follows, then you're not free at all. You're not free at all. You're a slave. The only ones that are truly free are alleged slaves. They don't they don't feel the need to be like everybody else. They don't feel the need to spend their money in places that are useless, that are better a waste they see

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Above that they're mature.

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And so in this note, I just want to give you an example of our daughters because this is an important subject, something I've been talking about recently. And I feel it's critical in along these lines, trend setting, and what it what effect it's having happening on Muslim girls, on our daughters. There's a crisis in the Muslim community when it comes to our daughter's a crisis of self esteem,

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a crisis of self esteem, we're already a different culture before 911 we're already a very different tradition than regular Western society. We're very different in many ways, especially in the way we dress, especially in the in the in the, you know, commitment, we have to modesty after 911 it's been 10 to 10 years now, and the hatred and the animosity, and the the spiteful language that spews out of people's mouths about Islam has increased tenfold, if not a hundredfold. So it was already difficult to follow. And now it's become something everybody hates. And in the middle of all of that is our daughters that go to public school, even if they go to Islamic school doesn't even matter.

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Then they go to college, and they're covering themselves, and they see girls dressed however they're dressed, and a thought runs in the mind of a young Muslim girl. Like, can I dress like that?

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Man, anything fun is her arm. She looks so pretty. Yeah, why can't I look pretty? Why can't I be like that? That thought crosses her mind. She's afraid to say it. But it crosses her mind. And she's always thinking like, she's depressed. I look ugly. Because of this thing. People make fun of me. You know, why are we such such backwards, backwards society, I don't even know why I have to wear it. That's a serious problem. That's trendsetting inside. Even if it's not outside, that's an inside it's a bigger problem. The heart is now submitted to what is relevant to Allah.

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This only happens when we don't give our sons and especially our daughters, enough self esteem. Where does self esteem come from? This is the last thing I'll share with you. Because this this problem of following trends in society is a big one. But probably the biggest component of that is saving our children, saving our children from becoming swept away with the flood. So this is the last bit I want to share with you. And that is we have to acknowledge fathers especially have to spend time with their daughters. fathers have to encourage their daughters, fathers have to appreciate their daughters. fathers have to tell their daughters, they look beautiful. So they don't

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have to look for that from some idiot on Facebook. They don't have to do that. Because their fathers are telling them that they get that you're, you know, the kind of self taught self confidence that girl gets from her dad is irreplaceable. Not even the mother mother's critical but not when it comes to this. When it comes to the acknowledgement of a father, when the last time you talked to your daughter, was those of you that have daughters actually had a conversation with her. You know, our daughters. I have I brought two of my four daughters with me on this trip.

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girls talk a lot.

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They talk a lot. They never run out of things to say.

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Which is why for men a lot of times the woman you know, okay, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, that's nice. That's nice. And you don't really listen.

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Right? Listen to your daughters talk to them. Because if you're ignoring them, now, when they get older, they'll be ignoring you.

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They will be ignoring you. It doesn't matter if they're talking about hair clips, or what their friend said at school, or what coloring projects they were doing, or where they visited or what show they whatever, talk to them, communicate with them. They need that from you. And you you need to play that role as a father, we cannot allow our children to fall into that, you know, get swept away into that culture, we can't. So this is one, you know, last bit of advice that I really, really wanted to share with you. Because if we don't do that, well, I'm telling you, if we don't do that, we are cheating our daughters from a proper raising, or cheating even our senator. And since I

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talked about dollars, so much, I'll say just one thing about sons, play with your sons. Spend time with your sons play sports with them. Most of our dads are so out of shape. They come home, they pick up the child for two minutes, and then they're like,

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No, just passed out on the couch. Right? get in shape for your kids, not for yourself, for your kids play with them. You need to be a better friend to them than anyone else. Because we're lucky this society offers lots of evil friends. It does. And before they make those kinds of friends, they need to find their best friend in you. It's not the way we did things back home. Back home, you weren't friends with your dad, your dad came home and you sat straight. Your dad spoken you stood up and responded It was a relationship of respect. A distant relationship. You don't chill with your dad. Right? You don't do that here. You have to do that. You have to do that not just you should you have

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to. We have to become those people. Because if we don't work again, the flood will come and just take our kids away.

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Just come and take them away. I pray that we're not of the people who are followers of evil trends. I pray we're the kinds of people and you know, when Allah talks about these trend followers, he did mention the here's a trend you should follow for women that are ever on Eva hanifa follow the way over him. And you know what the wave is right? He was right. didn't follow anybody else.

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Everybody's worshipping idols, I'm gonna break them.

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Everybody's going this way. He's gonna go that way. He's gonna go the way Allah wants him to go. That's the trend to follow. That's the people we become. May Allah make us from the middle of people around me Allah make us understand his book The way it should be understood. May Allah protect our children from falling into the tide of cultural for cultural forces and pressures. May Allah make us of those who understand his book, love his book and implement his book in our lives. May Allah open the doors of its wisdom and the wisdom of the son of his messenger sallallahu Sallam to all of us verticality. Welcome to a new Hakeem. When finally we're here can be it was Hakeem

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al hamdu lillahi wa Salatu was Salam. ala Xena spasa Susana Avada mahatama been Mohamed el Amin. He was happy in the hula hula

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Baton Rouge the Ministry of Foreign Affairs team in the LA Mola ekata who is aluna de

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amanu sallu alayhi wasallam Lima Allahumma salli ala Muhammad Ali Mohammed

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Ibrahim Ali Ibrahim Hassan al amin in Dhaka hamidah Majeed Allahumma barik ala Muhammad Ali Mohammed comma Baraka Ibrahim Ibrahim al amin in la comida Majid la la cima como la Tacoma in De La Jolla, la diva sun eater even orba Anil Sasha you will welcome well as equal Allahu Akbar, Allahu Allah Allah.

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Allah, Allah subhanaw taala vena cava makuta

Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan delves on some Ayats from Surah al Baqarah where one of the main conversations is what people follow, who they end up following & why they follow who they follow. And on Judgment Day everybody stands up we see that there are trendsetters and there are trend followers. What happens next?

Allah SWT is talking to people of the book, and through His Messenger ﷺ, He commands them to good things and forbids them from evil things. He makes permissible for them good and pure things and he makes impermissible for them filthy things. Hence, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ tells us to do good things, keep us away from bad things, open the door to pure things for us and close the door from filthy things away from us, so we stay away from the filthy things. So, he is setting a trend of sorts for the progress of Deen.

As time goes in an ummah, society and its pressures starts mixing in and we get drawn into the obligation to abide by not what Allah says but the obligation to abide by what society says. The additional chains, additional burdens can all be eased if we embark on the path that the Messenger ﷺ sets to let go of those burdens. We think we follow societal pressure because it will make life easy. It makes nothing but make life harder. 

Hence, it is mandatory that we pray that we are not of the people who are followers of evil trends but the kinds of people that are the right trend followers in the light of Deen. we should follow the path set by Ibraheem (AS) and understand the Book of Allah the way it should be understood and avoid falling into the tide of cultural forces and pressures. We should be of those who understand His book, love His book and implement His book in our lives. We must pray that Allah opens the doors of wisdom and the wisdom of the Sunnah of His Messenger ﷺ to all of us. 

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