Naima B. Robert – Fear, istikhara and healing
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AI: Transcript ©
Hey, guys. It is your
girl, Naima b Robert here, and I am
just so grateful
to be here with you.
And I would like to invite every single
one of you to just take
just take a second or 2
to
just breathe
and say Alhamdulillah.
And I say that because,
you know, sometimes Allah just sends you
when you need it.
You read the thing you needed to read.
You hear the thing you needed to hear.
You see the thing you needed to see.
And
that happened to me today. And,
or you can't see my face, but I
was so glowing. Sis.
Sis. Welcome to American tattoo. How are you
doing, my dear Umzakiya Bayinah? How are you?
Allah is merciful.
I am well overall. Little sleepy.
I have a bad habit of not getting
my sleep at night, but you know what?
I've seen you, girl. I know already about
you up all hours. And the thing is,
guys, I'm gonna tell them a secret about
you. So which which,
which,
time zone are you in?
I am in the eastern time zone.
Which is what? 7 hours difference or something?
I think it's 5 right now, I think
it's 5 hours difference between the UK.
So 5 hours difference, guys. Those of you
who are in the UK,
I'm online.
Okay? It's 8 o'clock in the morning here,
then it's 10 o'clock in the morning here,
then it's 12 here, and, also, Kia is
available on Facebook. I'm like,
don't you sleep?
Well, you know, there's a theory about that
that usually, you know, there's still research out
whether
spirit theorist.
No. I'm joking. I'm joking.
You know you know, I just before you
came on, I don't know whether you heard
me, but I was just talking about how
sometimes in life,
Allah just sends you what you need
when you need it. You know, you hear
what you needed to hear. You see what
you needed to see. You read what you
needed to read, and it's just like,
oh, yes, Allah. You know. Have you ever
experienced that before? Oh, yeah.
Often, like, I get that all the time.
When I'm going through something,
Allah will allow me to hear something, read
something, someone messages me
All the time, I get these sorts of
signs and just encouragement. Even if I log
on to social media, it'll be, like, sometimes
the first post I see, I'm, like,
like, a lot for me. For me. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
I I feel like, obviously, I'm going to
ask you to plug the Black Muslim Festival.
I wanna talk about what we did on
the weekend. But before that, I want to
I wanna just have, like, a chitchat with
you. Yes. It's like, you know, girl to
girl because
this thing of fear. Right? Now you've had
if you guys don't know of Zakiyah, I'm
shocked. But if you don't anyway, of Zakiyah,
she's, you know, best selling author of multiple,
multiple books.
One of the pioneers of Islamic fiction,
Many of her books have become modern classics.
Vulnerable as possible
with us
through trials, through healing, through everything.
So you know that I have love for
you, Sesem. I I I rate you just
for your moral courage
because
you know,
like, you know how the community can be.
It's hard. It's hard. And I wanna apologize
to the audience that for some reason, some
construction, it they decided on this day to
drill outside my window. So if you hear
that, it's not my stomach growling or anything.
You
know? It's
they're they're out there doing something. I'm not
sure what it is. But yeah. But In
Charlotte. Yeah. But, I'm
no. It's
I will say though, the the decision
to speak so openly is not easy. I
pray a lot of Istikharah.
I am terrified
every single time.
Mhmm. I
have to talk to Allah every single time,
and some things I decide, no, I'm not
gonna do. And then some things, you know,
I I think I'm not gonna do, but
then Allah changes my heart to do it.
So Look
at that. So
how, what is your personal approach to fear?
And I'm asking this as somebody who is
in the public eye,
who is doing public things. Okay. Now you
might not be in the public eye. Those
of you who are listening, you may not
be doing public things, but I think we
all in our lives
reach a point where we just feel gripped
by fear. We're just like, oh, no. No.
No. No. No. I I I can't do
that. What if this happens? What if they
say this? What if this is the outcome?
You know, what if, what if, what if?
And I've heard different people
frame fear differently. So how do you frame
fear? Well,
to do or I know
something I feel like I either need need
to do or I know I should do
and it's terrifying me.
I was just actually writing because I'm I'm
writing this book now. Well, you know, nothing
You don't say.
Girl, I'm not your bride, man. Writing schedule
is. Well, I think I write more than
I live, and you know? But,
so I was
writing, and it's it's a book called I'm
Divorce Now, Heartbreak and Healing, and it's my
journey through that. Yes. And I was in
the I was just writing yesterday that a
chapter about, you know, like,
how do you find the strength to leave
if you know someone's not good
to you? And I was respond that's one
of the questions I keep getting. Because I
ask people what what do you think what
would you like me to talk about? And
I obviously, I can't talk about everything, but
the things that resonated with my heart.
And that was one of the biggest questions
because they were saying the women are so
terrified,
not necessarily because of what the man would
do, but just the reality of life after
that decision. Yeah. Yeah. And so the question
was, how do you get the strength to
to leave or to do what you know
you need to do Mhmm. And get over
that fear? Mhmm. And what I was explaining
was that,
for me,
I don't ever
worry about getting
over fear. I worry I work with it.
Okay. And for me, strength in the things
that I need to do,
whenever I look for strength,
and I feel like I need the strength.
And many times I don't wanna say whenever,
but many times,
it actually hinders me from doing what I
need to do. Mhmm. So I don't draw
on strength. I draw on faith. So,
like, I don't look for the strength to
do the things I need to do, because
if I wait for that, it's I'm probably
not gonna do it. Wow. I just do
it and trust that Allah is gonna carry
me broken, he's gonna carry me weak,
and he's gonna carry me to the end.
Wow.
Super While I'm scared.
So that's my that's my
approach. That is a wow. That's
a that's a shift. That's a real,
I've never heard that before. So
instead
of waiting for or asking for even the
strength ask. You ask. No. But you don't
wait.
I ask for strength. I do ask.
But
I know from my experiences in life that
Allah sometimes gives you the strength after you
take the first step.
Oh, okay. And sometimes the strength comes after
you've taken 1,000 steps.
Whoo.
And so
I'm more like Allah, carry me weak, carry
me broken because you know my legs aren't
working right now. Wow. A lot more. I
come to you humble.
I come to you terrified,
but carry me anyway. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. That's
my that's my approach.
That's amazing. And I know people are gonna
be watching this and listening to it over
again, you know, because I think everybody can
relate to that.
I certainly can.
So so say for example, you know, you
said that you pray Istikhara a lot. Oh,
yeah. So you don't see fear as
like an answer to your istikhara.
So I feel like we have this perception
that if you pray istikhara
and it's meant to happen, you're gonna be.
You're gonna be, like, calm with it. You're
gonna be, like, just chill, and everything's gonna
be easy. And why do we have this
perception?
Baby, that's me. I didn't get that after
class.
She's like, what? Baby, I'm doing it wrong.
But no. But, my I have her but
I'm part of me. I, you know, I
have a bit of a choking aspect to
me. But,
I
I've heard these okay. I'm a be really
honest. I've heard some of these explanations before.
Mhmm.
And I remember saying to a sister, a
friend of mine I was reading these long
explanations from different
scholars and students in knowledge. May Allah bless
them. No.
But I but I was joking. I was
holding the paper, and I looked at her.
I said, if we had all of this
ability, why do we need the istikhara for?
You know?
We the conditions that you're giving me before
I pray the istikhara is as if, Yani,
I'm already
I have all the answers. My heart is
already perfect. Wow. I'm clear headed.
I don't even need the advice because, like,
I got it together, you know? So so
what were they saying? Like, were they saying
what I'm saying? They were saying that the
heart cannot be wavering from one side to
the other. Okay. They were saying you cannot
basically be biased to one point of view
or the other. Oh. You have to come
with
absolutely
no heart connection to either decision. Oh.
You have to come with full trust in
the
Okay. Okay. None of your nuffs. I was
like, well, I'm not gonna pray anymore.
My nuffs
is with me all the time. Not only
is my nuts with me, I have this
ride or die thing. I'm not sure if
you guys have heard about them, but Shaypon.
Oh, no.
What? So wait a second.
She called Shaypon to ride or die? This
is criminal. What?
He's there.
He's always there. I was like This is
terrible. The people who are did he shave
his talking to?
I have my ride or die.
Please stop me. Little too bad.
I've been strategic, but seriously
seriously, what I'm saying, I'm pointing to something
serious.
Do you know why? Do you know why
I'm laughing so much? Because yesterday, I had
Rufus and Jenny
here on the on the channel,
And Rufus will say, she my ride or
die.
She my ride or die. And so I'm
like, oh, Zakia's coming with a different ride
or die here. No. No. No. No. No.
Let me be clear.
We women
are
the essence of the most beautiful ride or
die. And I'll give you an example that
I was being facetious with the sheikha example.
I'll give you an example. There was a
man. I forget his name. He was he's
a relationship,
coach,
and he was telling women that when you're
seeking to get married, he said, If a
man says to you,
what are you bringing to the table?'
Okay?
Now, he used a curse word, so I'm
not gonna use I'm just gonna use the
initials.
He said,
you tell him, I am the effing table.
Okay. Okay. You know?
That's see, we're that ride or die table.
See, but we have another one who's an
uninvited,
unhealthy
ride or die. And I say it like
that because she doesn't leave you alone. It's
true. It's true. It doesn't. That's why I
say that I'm being I'm saying it joke.
It's true.
And so when I was reading these explanations
of the,
I was like,
who are these people who are who are
you know, follow this? They don't have their
nuffs bothering them. Mhmm. Shaitan. I was like,
I need to figure out who these people
are and study with them because, like, how
do you get him away from you when
all of the other humans on earth have
this
rider dodge, you know,
monster with them, bothering them all the time.
So, for me, I had to stop
listening to those things. And I remember a
law allowed me to hear one lecture, and
I don't remember who it was.
And he said one thing. Well, people were
asking all these questions. And so they were
asking the Sheikh, like,
or the imam. I don't remember who it
was.
Like, what is the sign
that like, how do you pray istakada, and
what's the sign that you should go either
way?
He said,
you all you do
is you pray Issaquah you get your advice,
you pray Issaquah,
and you go with what you truly believe
is best. And if it's right, Allah will
make it happen. If it's wrong, it won't
happen. Simple as that.
And then you next question.
Y'all need to be inviting people to this
live. You you guys know. Tag your friends.
Send the live to your friends. Send them
so they can come and hear this. We're
dropping some some truth bombs up in here.
Tag
your your your parents and your kids and
your neighbors.
My. You know, because I don't I've, like,
like, I have my attention span. I don't
have
I call it, like, for example, some explanations
of Islam, I call it, you know, I
don't get into the filthy acrobatics anymore. Mhmm.
I call it, you know, I don't get
into the filthy acrobatics anymore. Mhmm. I call
it, you know, I don't get into the
filthy acrobatics anymore. Mhmm. I call it, you
know, you know, I don't get into the
filthy acrobatics anymore. Right. I think what's clear,
what did Allah say, what did the prophet
say, and I don't get into these long
detailed things of simple matters. Now I know
that there's some complex matters that you can't.
There's no way to get around it. Yeah.
Yeah. But Allah says, you know, call him,
you're not answered. That's what istikhara is. You
call him, he ends. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I don't, like
now to be clear, fear
that's why I, you know, was was clarifying
the beginning.
Fear is not the same as this gut
feeling that something terrible is going to happen.
That's different.
So, if I continuously pray, and continuously pray,
and I don't know if they're doing that
drilling
or we I don't know what kind of
We can't hear it. We can't hear it.
You can't hear it? Thank god. I'm gonna
I'll walk with
because I'm like, y'all need new tools because
that's just
so, you know, so, SubhanAllah, like, this is,
like, it it's like this
sometimes I will pray Istikhana and I will
have this gut feeling, absolutely no.
And my heart changes, like, for example, I
had this opportunity to teach at a university,
a really good university,
And it was a dream to me and
I wanted to teach there. And so I
was about to leave my the job that
I was working at that time
and go to this. And and I remember
talking to I was asking my husband who
at that time, what do you think? He
was like, oh, this is a crazy good
opportunity. Absolutely. I was like, Okay. I'll pray.
It's lakatah.
So
I was so excited about it. That that
this is such a good opportunity. It was
like that type a feeling where
I was almost like, I don't even need
to pray. I mean, I ought to be
laughing. It was like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No.
No. No. Listen. Listen. No. No. Listen. Don't
front because, definitely,
we've all been there, guys, where you think
to yourself, this is a no brainer.
I don't need it so far for this.
Like, this is a no brainer. This is
obviously the best decision, the best thing for
me. Yeah.
Exactly. And so that's how I was feeling.
I was like, this is obviously good. So
I couldn't even I could barely have
I was like, Allah Let me just tick
the box. I was just like, you know
what? But, you know, out of respect for
Allah, I'm gonna, like, you know, throw in
a couple of, you know I was trying.
I was trying. Fuck. But I was like,
is this prayer over so I can send
in the yes. You know? Yeah. So and
so I was, like, so and I was
so excited, like, when I got to the
and I was like,
and I was like,
and as soon as I put my head
to this side, my heart changed absolutely no.
What? I was like, woah.
And it scared me. Yeah.
I was like, what is this?
And then I said, you know what? Okay.
Is this my fear? But it was like
this gut feeling, like, no.
And then I was like, let me talk
to my husband and see what he says
because I know he was like, go for
it.
And then I said, I'm gonna see, like,
does Allah give me another sign through his
response? Yeah. So I said, hey. I'm about
to send in so I throw put it
like this, you know. I was like without
telling him about the istikhara
happened. Because I was like, okay. You know,
I'm about to send in my application
for the the thing, alhamdulillah.
So what do you think? Should I go
ahead and send it now? He said, you
know what?
I don't know. You might wanna think about
that.
And then my that's it.
That's it. And that's it. And if I
and then my rule with is if I
begin to have any West West or doubts
after I get what I think is the
answer, I pray again.
Okay.
Right.
And then,
Allah shows me through,
you know, the effort, sometimes, I mean, it
doesn't happen.
Sometimes it's this gut feeling of
stay away from this. So, that's a different
type of fear. Yeah. No. Yeah. No. No.
Hear that one. Yeah. That's a that's a
gut feeling. Like, if you do this, a
really bad thing is gonna happen. Mhmm. That
no. No. No. If that happens, no. No.
I don't go through it. If it's like
this gut feeling, but then, like, the problem
when you're going through
trials and trauma,
like, when you haven't healed certain things,
you can't tell what's the difference between, like,
you know, that the your own anxiety and
unhealed wounds are, like,
imposter syndrome. Oh god, girl. Please don't let
the psychology come in. Oh, you're triggered? Is
it your attachment?
Is it, you know, are you are you
projecting?
Is it, you know, like, something from your
past? Is it, like you said, imposter syndrome?
Is it oh my god. Like, how long
will I I have to work through it.
So for me so I pray it
because I have these things. Mhmm. It don't
hurt me. Like, I have a lot of
things that which is why I I decided
to go ahead year some years ago, I'm
gonna start telling my story to heal because
I have a lot of things that I
was working through. I'm getting much better now.
But those those woundings were getting in the
way
of me
having clarity of so I had to keep
and so for me, my habit today
is to pray istikara
multiple times in pretty much I don't recall
throughout my life,
since I started praying Giztikara, like, when I
was when I first heard of it, when
I was around 20 something Mhmm. I would
say almost every single day of my life
since I've been 20 something years old, I've
prayed istikhara at least once a day about
something.
Wow.
Every
Yeah. Almost every single day. And I started
that habit because there was a friend of
mine who was I was in this class
with. We were studying,
Islamic,
you know, studies,
Quran, Alqidah. All this was at the beginning
of my journey and she was saying and
it was a teenager in the class, so
she was young
and she was just saying, you know what
I do? She said, whenever I'm about to
pray a sunnah prayer,
I always say
ask myself 2 questions. Do you need to
ask Allah about something that you're about to
decide?
Oh.
You need to repent for it because you
can combine your intentions for it. That's a
that is that's dope. That's a really good
hack. The end?
Yes. Even if I had forgotten about it,
I go ahead and pray istakar and our
tawba.
And I said,
I
never thought of that. And ever since she
said that, may Allah bless her, I've been
doing that since I was 27 years old.
So I paused and said, okay. I'm about
to pray my sunnah for for as your
or, you know, even with, you know, and,
you know, the one of the one of
those sets of Yes. Yeah. Is there anything
that I'm about to decide that I have
not talked to my creator about first?
Anything. Even if it's a Facebook post.
I I say, well, I'm talking too long.
Speak to that boy. Wow.
Yeah. That's amazing. And the thing is, I
I think another
misconception I think we have is that,
you know, if
the if we pray is tikhara
and we do the thing
that everything is going to be
okay, that everything is going to work. Right?
Speak Oh, yeah. I wrote about that's actually
one of the videos I'm doing in the
course about the healing from divorce
is that,
one of the things I and I share
a journal entry. I was saying that Istikhar
is not our ticket to happily ever after.
And whatever Whoo!
Say what it can for the people in
the back. Yes.
And and for people, people for the fuzz
in the back of my brain that makes
me forget.
Yeah. It's the harder.
No, I'm saying seriously.
It's like, I
I have to say, say it loud for
the people in the back of your brain.
Tell me.
You know? So,istikhara
is not
your ticket
to happily ever after in whatever you're asking
for.
It's not.
That is not a part of the prayer.
The prayer is saying if this
decision
is going to be best for my life
Mhmm. My hereafter basically, for the life of
this world and my soul in the hereafter.
Yeah. Okay?
Then, basically, my life and soul. That's how
I saw. Yeah. Then bring it forward. And
what you
realize is that
the things that are best for you in
this life
come with a lot of pain.
Usually. It's not it's not the exception.
When ever you have something that's good for
you in this world,
it comes with a lot of pain. And,
I had an epiphany the other day. I
was like, there are 2 famous ayahs I'm
not gonna say they're the only ones.
There are 2 famous ayahs where that Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala tells us about ease.
When When we're, especially when we're seeking something.
And they and it either it's either one
of 2 cases.
It is coming with that hardship or after
it. I never thought I never saw Allah
law just promise you you're just gonna get
all of this and nothing else is gonna
come along.
He's telling you this is that the ease
is gonna come with a hardship or after
a hardship.
Or you're gonna be tested
and then you're gonna have loss.
You're gonna have
this. He doesn't say, you know,
I'm gonna give you all of this easy
life.
Just remember me. He says, yeah. He said
he he dispose bestows on whom he wills
without any beheld he said,
and
he will test you
with loss of wealth, loss loss of lives,
and even within your own nuts.
He will put a fitna inside
of you that you have to to to
to deal with.
This is in the Quran.
This is this is this is this is
the life. So when we pray istikhara,
now
the ending is gives you the hint of
the rahma. He doesn't say
make it the happiest decision. He said make
my basically, I want to be pleased with
it. Yeah.
Because
the pleased with it and this is where
some people get they they say, but Allah
said no. See, pleased with it is I
can be crying due to pain, but my
heart is like, I submit to you. I
accept. I accept. I accept. I accept it.
I accept.
Girls, we are in the right now. Okay.
We
are. Y'all hear me right now?
Don't stop. You
better invite your friends. You better invite your
wife. Invite your kids. You're gonna send this
light to somebody because you know someone needs
to hear this.
Mainly me.
But, hey.
Wow, man. That's so deep. I I don't
normally say that so deep because it's a
bit of a silly thing to say, but
that is deep.
Yeah. Yeah. That is deep.
Wow.
Lessons hard.
The lesson's hard learned. You know?
Sis, I love you for the sake of
Allah.
The one for whom you love me, love
you, and I love you too.
You know how Allah just, like, blesses us
with just just
people on that journey?
And you and I have only ever seen
each other met in person once.
Yeah. But Allah has allowed our paths to
continually cross and cross again and
I love you for the sake of our
love. Seriously.
We we go way back.
We do. I remember and I had we
connected years before we ever saw each other.
Yep.
And
it's a mercy. And I remember something that
really moved me is when you
were saying it's such that after you had
lost your husband, you say, do the such
that and I said,
oh, Allah. Like, that is such a beautiful
act. Make me remember this.
And
it and it it moved me so much
because
it reminded me to just do the sashta
and it's helped me through a lot of
hard times is that and this is a
rule I have now,
specifically when I'm going through a hard time,
even the tiniest good.
Even if I look at my like, if
I'm feeling sad and I look and I
have a few more Instagram followers or one,
I make because that's it. Maybe, Allah, you
brought this for barakah. So I I make
sajdah to shukr.
You know? If, you know, I'm I start
feeling anxiety, and I'm like sometimes I wake
up, and I'm like, is my daughter okay?
You know, I have my own little trauma.
I'll go check on her. She's, like, 20
something years old. I'm just I know. She's
a big girl.
Hi, Omi. Can I have some sleep? And
I'm like, okay. Okay. She's okay. I make
but if I had the feeling of anxiety,
I go and I make such that to
Shukri that I saw her okay because
for some reason, I because I was thinking
if what if, you know, it was the
opposite? It would be a terrible thing. So
let me do such a that
my daughter's okay. Things like this.
That's just
that's on another level, sir.
Okay. We could probably stay here for another
hour. Oh
yeah. Sorry.
Insha'Allah, this is the first of many, maybe
we'll collaborate and do like a series or
something, Insha'Allah.
I know the people who've
been watching now have really really benefited,
as have I.
So
a couple of words about our session on
Saturday,
and why should people come and join us
at the Black Muslim Festival?
I mean,
it's time to heal,
you know,
and it's time to
be
humbly come with a heart open
to being a part
of this
family,
of the the Ummah.
So and the reason why I'm saying that
is that we don't think about it. You
know, a lot of people who are black
don't think about it that black people are
constantly showing up
in predominantly Arab
Desi spaces
because it's something of benefit.
And even when we know, okay, the the
the talk may be about, you know, some
of the trials in,
Palestine and all this, and even though we
know Palestine has a unique
place in all of our hearts,
but then we forget that
when other people are suffering,
we're part of that one body. Mhmm. So
if if you count yourself as a part
of the Ummah of Muhammad
then come and humbly
be there
for your own healing even if you're not
black. Yeah. Because truly,
what I what I experienced
in that session,
anybody
with a soul and a heart just minimally
alive could have benefited from that session. Yep.
Yep. And we do have non
black Muslims who were there, and they were
shooketh.
They were so nourished by that space. I'm
gonna do that. And they and and continue,
obviously, amazing conversations are still taking place in
the Facebook group, and people are watching those
videos and
and and sharing resources. And
I I yeah. I I hear you. And
I was saying I was I was sharing
this thing that I shared in that session,
and I'll share it again because I think
the audience will benefit from it. It's not
the poem. I'm not gonna read that long
poem. They they can go and listen to
the I'm gonna put a swipe up link,
inshallah, my stories for them. Yeah. They'll they
can watch that video. But I wanna read
the ayah because this
what
what we need to do
is we need to prepare our hearts,
black or non black, to heal
so that we can imbibe
the rahma of this demon.
Okay?
And if we don't do the healing
and by the way, the healing is not
just for the black people. This is something
that doctor Joy DeGry was talking about in
the 90 Uh-huh. Mhmm. This is a trauma
that white people have too, post traumatic slave
syndrome. Yeah.
And there's
go
going on in many countries. Now I don't
know if anyone coined that that term, but
I'm saying borrowing from doctor Joy DeGrave.
And what I've learned in my own journey
and what I've seen even over and over,
even in my studies of Quran as I'm
healing, Allah just brings all these different meanings
to your heart as you keep interacting with
the Quran,
is that
if you don't
take the journey of healing and support
other people,
especially when you know that these things of
anti blackness
is in the threat of your culture, whether
you're black or not. Yeah. Yeah.
You're not gonna be able to experience what
Allah
is talking about in this ayah, which I
shared in the group. Very short ayah. It's
in Surat Anbiya, which is the they translate
as the prophets.
And this is a Surah 21, ayah 107.
And Allah
says,
And the translation of the meaning is that
and we have not sent you, O Muhammad
except as a Rahmah,
our mercy
to all of the worlds.
And when you don't heal,
whether it's on the side of being the
oppressor or dealing with racist concepts,
you might think that Islam is just a
rahma for you because you're Arab.
You might think that the Islam is a
rahma for you because you're a man.
You might Islam is a rahma for you
because,
hey, I dress like I'm supposed to. So
I don't know what's going on with y'all.
Hoo.
You don't
know
that this is a rahma for
every single part of the creation,
even the part that doesn't submit.
So
you can't
feel that,
and when you don't heal so this is
why you need to come. Yeah. Because this
is a space
of awakening in our hearts to be open
to imbibe the rahmah of Allah through collective
healing.
That's what it is. That's the word right
there. And I'm a and I'm gonna say
one thing. I usually don't say this,
but this is especially to my non black
brothers and sisters.
I want you to consider something.
Allah might ask you why you didn't show
up.
And, I'm just saying this, I don't usually
do this, but I feel comfortable because it's
not my conference, so I have no,
stake in it. You know what I'm saying?
No. No. I'm just saying because if it's
mine, I will feel shy to do this.
Yeah. Like, I'm not gonna say that. No.
I'm gonna say it because it's not mine.
A lot might ask you why you didn't
show up because there's a type of ignorance
that is excused,
and there's a type of ignorance that is
sinful.
And the type of ignorance that is
decreed this conference. She's a vessel.
So when Allah
gave this conference
to you as an opportunity to learn,
and you decide not to. And then after
this conference, you begin to behave in a
way that is unintentionally
unintentionally in ignorance
harming
your black brothers and sisters in faith,
where's your excuse?
I think that
I don't even wanna say too much,
guys, because
you know what you said there about this
is not my thing. It's not your thing.
Not my
thing. Sisters, arrogance is a spiritual disease,
and we all need healing.
Yep. To that. Amen. Who's that?
I mean. So non black Muslims need have
to absorb and understand the place of black
sisters and brothers in heritage and in our
heritage, shared
heritage and our history. And the thing is,
I hope Insha'Allah,
we've taken the initiative to heal collectively
through this space.
Right? But the reality is
we all need to heal, as you're saying.
We all need to heal.
And for different things,
for some of us, it's a it's a
race it's a race issue.
For some people, it's actually a gender issue.
For some people, it's cultural.
For some people, it's generational trauma. Because if
you look at the majority of Muslims,
majority of Muslims come from countries where there
has been turbulence, where there has been turmoil,
where there has been oppression, where there, you
know, escaping from those countries, having to start
again in the new place.
SubhanAllah. There's a lot that we
have yet to learn
and to unlearn
and to relearn.
And
I love what you said, to be honest,
I want to just shut up now because
what you said was literally everything Masha'Allah.
And I hope inshallah, you know, to see
you on some more of the panels,
we will do another healing circle
later at the end of the month inshallah.
So it'd be wonderful to welcome you again
and Right. Yes. So
yeah. And I wanted to add that all
of those traumas you mentioned, some people have
all of them or many of them all
together. Yep. It's true. It's true.
So this is just the the forerunner.
This is just like an introduction,
but inshallah, it's possible. You Healing is possible.
So, umzakiyah,
I I just wanna thank you. Go on.
I wanna add this one thing.
For all Muslims, regardless of,
whether you're non black or
not, we also need to step up in
taking more proactive steps in supporting each other
because I'm just gonna say this because it's
not mine. Look, I know because I do
similar work as Naomi Robert. Mhmm.
This isn't easy to put this type of
stuff together. Oh.
No. I'm just no. I'm I'm
no. I'm telling the truth. Oh, gosh.
And we need to be more proactive in
habit of,
I don't feel like it, but you have
time to Netflix and chill.
Okay. You have time to chill.
You have time to binge watch. We'll be,
like, halfway asleep watching your show.
But when it comes to our fellow brothers
and sisters in faith,
we gotta check all kinds of
all types of,
you know, permission slips in our brain in
life before we say
maybe.
Mhmm. And that's another thing we'll be asked
about because
a lot of platforms,
and companies,
and, initiatives have fallen through. And, I've experienced
it personally in my life just because of
lack of support.
And we need to be better. Now, it
doesn't mean every single time there's an event,
you have to go to that event. But
check your heart when you decide
to say no.
And here's my challenge. If Allah puts in
your heart, maybe,
and you decide, no,
pray Istikhara before
you make that final decision.
I like that. That is that is that
is gold right there. That is
gold. Guys, please go and follow Omsakiyah.
Support her work, buy her books, join her,
her online community.
I think you'll find much, much benefit there.
The event is online. Sincerely, honey.
You can follow us at at Black Muslim
Festival on Instagram. It's in my,
stories, and it's in my, my,
bio as well.
Event is the whole month, every weekend inshallah,
until the end
of October.
And it is, you can get a free
festival pass. And so, yeah. Masha'Allah.
A lot of great events this weekend, mainly
around marriage, parenting, family,
polygamy,
all that good stuff.
But it's necessary,
and may Allah put barakah
in all of it because
it all needs to be done. Yeah. And
I love how you phrased it, and I
never seen this done in a conference before.
You said, 'doing polygamy right.'
I've never ever, and I have to just
say this, this is the truth.
I've never ever seen polygamy
in a conference addressed in from the positive
angle. Really? Have you seen this?
Never.
Wow. Okay.
Problems and this
and who you know, what and how you
know?
And I said, you know what?
Because that's the right attitude
when it comes to something that Allah loves.
Very true. Very true. People are investing in
doing doing a lot of wrong with it.
Yeah. But when whenever the the the adept
is when a law speaks well of something,
we should speak well of it. And when
we have to deal with a problem, we
address it from the point of it's a
blessing, so how do we get back to
the blessing,
not here's a Oh
my god. What?
This is just oh my god. That is
so
that's just every that's so on point. That
is so on point.
Okay. So someone needs to listen to this
video and literally just just put all the
quotes in the comments. Okay?
Because this should be like a whole Twitter
feed, really.
Sis.
You know, I would love to just talk
for the rest of the another hour. But
Don't worry. You go,
have some breakfast,
and, you know, let's let maybe who knows,
guys? If you want it enough, maybe Zakiyah
and I will do a series together.
If you do, put a yes in the
comment,
and we'll see what we can hook up.
But for
now, get yourselves over to Black Muslim Festival
on Instagram.
Get your festival pass. Buy your tickets so
you can attend the all access pass talks
this weekend. We've got what have we got?
We've got village auntie,
who is going to be teaching us about
reclaiming female sexuality on Saturday night.
What are you doing on Saturday night?
Oh my god. You know, I have, you
know, I have classes I teach too, and,
I saw some of the sessions. I said,
you know what? That's okay. I got my
login. I got my log Yes. You're right.
Looking out. Good looking out. You're gonna be
there, inshallah. The other thing that's exciting ticket
holders is Habiba Kande is doing an Islamic
approach to female pleasure class for men only.
Thank you.
Yes. So that's gonna be good. We've got
the the getting polygamy right talk. We've got
how to raise our children for successful marriages.
We've got a homeschooling
conversation,
homeschooling as a as a revolutionary
act, which is gonna be interesting. Then we've
got a conversation about black love. We have
a conversation about mixed marriages. We have a
conversation about raising the next generation upon deen
and with, you know, like their sense of
identity intact. So it's gonna be a packed
weekend.
Whoo.
You all please come to this. Get your
pass
no problem. Get the free pass, but
go ahead and get that what is it
called? Access pass?
All access pass. Yeah. If you're going through
the free festival,
free festival pass, on the next page, you
get a chance to, to upgrade if you
want to.
Love it. Love it. Yeah. Thank you guys
for the love. This is like, get out.
I love you.
Alright, guys. It's been absolutely amazing. Thanks so
much for rocking with us.
I love you for the sake of Allah,
and I pray this is not the last
time that we do this. May Allah preserve
you. May Allah protect you. May Allah
you. And I will see
you on the weekend inshallah.
Yes. Inshallah. I think I have my my
session. I think it's the author's session is
next. Yes. I think I have to check
the calendar. Sorry. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes. I'm gonna let so may the one
for whom you love me, love you, and
may Allah give you and everyone who attended
this live and the conference, Jannah Biharihisab.
Forgive our sins and help us be
better compassionate sisters and brothers to each other
until we reach.
Oh. Amin. Amin.
Okay, guys.