Thematic Study of Quran – Surah Nisaa – Class 3

Musleh Khan


Channel: Musleh Khan

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The speakers discuss the importance of social and community principles in building a strong community and avoiding negative impacts of racist behavior. They emphasize the need to remember everything and avoid racist behavior, and provide examples of how money is used in various scenarios, including maintaining basic necessities and maintaining wealth. They also discuss the use of "by the way" and "by the way" in the Bible, emphasizing the importance of protecting confidentiality and following principles to achieve goals. Lastly, they provide guidance on reading and understanding studies on "financial support" and the need for strong communication to avoid cultural fraud.

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Because you obviously, you would make the judgment of where that entire pseudo or the vast majority of the verses are revealed from and that's where the ruling comes from. Anyhow, point is at the end of the day, it starts like a Mickey.

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Mickey soda is generally Allah calls you out. Either you people have Amen, or all of mankind calls you out. Now in this case, Allah said, Oh, Van kind. So now we're going to start to slowly dissect and delve into this particular sort of, okay. Sort of suddenly, sir, is as we mentioned to you the fourth chapter of the quarter and one very quick point. It is called Sudeten Nisa, what does Nisa mean? Women, of course, but it's specifically, linguistically, the word Nisa is actually talking about mature women. So if you talk about kids, or men or women that have not reached the age of maturity, they carry different names. So this like we say, nissa is for the mature, a region for the

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mature and these are plural orajel and nisswa.

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a mature man, why is this sort of called aneesa? Now make sure you you note this, why is this sort of given this title?

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It doesn't talk about women and that's it.

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Which a lot of people say, I couldn't I couldn't tell you the amount of literature that's online. The amount of talks online that I found that a lot of these speakers or whoever they were, they literally said, this is called Sudeten Nisa because it's all about the women sits there sorta. That's technically not true. This sutra is given its name, actually because of one subject that appeared in that sort of that never appeared in any others. Does anybody know what that subject is?

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Allah said this in sort of techniques that were little Nisa, you know, seep, and women get inheritance, they get a portion.

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That was a revolution that happened in the oma never, ever, ever, in the history

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of this oma, and even pre Islam. Did women actually have the right to inherit, as a matter of fact, so women and even children as well, as a matter of fact,

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women themselves were the product of inheritance. Right? So if a father had a daughter, you raise that daughter,

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if he knew that, okay, you know, she's she's getting older, and he's getting weaker, and he's about to die, he puts in as well. Not that, you know, he's left X amount of children. When it comes to his daughter, it is really terrible practice back in those days, he would actually write, I have a daughter, this is her age, this is when she was born. And I put a value on her that she is worth this amount of dollars. So that when he dies, this daughter could be sold off and the money that is received goes to the family that's left behind. So they were the product of inheritance themselves, really awful practices, it goes even deeper than that. So this particular surah, literally

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eradicated all of those practices. Now, the women, not only did they get rights to inherit, they also had rights in other areas, as well in relationships and communities and marriages and so on. We're gonna come to insha Allah huhtala, the verse about the Mahatma, I think it's the second or the or the third verse. So when we get to that, we're going to pause there for a bit and talk a little bit about what exactly this motto is, and why it's so important in this particular surah. Okay, so let's move on.

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If you were to summarize all of the subjects and themes of this surah it's the last sentence at the bottom there. Social morals and ethics, society principles in Islam. It's all about how to build or reform a community.

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You know, I always say that this Sora

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is the kind of Sora that you should not be able to be part of an administration that serves a community, except that you go through the sort of first. That's, that's for you to qualify that, okay, you're part of the admin. You need to go through this entire sort of, this sort of has all the ingredients to build a strong community. So we're going to see that right now in the very first verse. Let's go into the verse now.

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Ally so Joel says, Yeah, you hiddenness

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So we obviously know that Allah is talking to Muslim and non Muslim, right?

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That's really important.

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Because that tells you, whatever is in this passage of the Hor n is not just for the believer, you can take this passage now, and you can share it, and you can teach it and you can implement it for the entire world, everyone to see, and everyone to learn. So if you ever are one of those people that spends a lot of time talking and having conversations with people and colleagues and students and so on, make a note, this is one verse, you want to be part of that conversation. Okay? Here's the thing. Look at the first order or Command that's given to us, or to mankind, Allah says all mankind, yeah, Uranus, by the way, ness is the plural ins. What does that mean? Humans, people.

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NASA, also comes from the word nesea. Which, which means to, to forget. Why are we called that? We are called the creation that forgets.

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Because that's exactly what we do. We forget everything, every day of our lives. That's why we need alarm clocks. We need to write things down. We need people to remind us believe it or not, it happens to me all the time. Even this class, sometimes I forget, I have to be here.

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Because you know, every day you're with something that Oh, wait, I have class this week. And you get yourself ready. So we need reminders all the time.

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How core and helps you and I with that. So although we are the creation, that by default, we are the creation that forgets and we constantly forget, Allah gave us a secret ingredient to counter that.

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Does anybody know what that is?

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So we are a nation we are a creation that is built and designed to forget.

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Then Allah tells us the way that you can counter that meaning. You can live a very intelligent, you know, you can become an academic you can be somebody that is, you know, has strong memory, you can memorize the quarter n, you can memorize your deen the way to counter this is Do what? Just one thing in the entire forum? Does anybody know what that what that is? You all know what it is?

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Vicar of Allah.

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It's the remembrance of Allah.

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You constantly engage with anything that reminds you of Allah, you'll notice that you will forget that you are in soon, you'll forget that.

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And Allah will help you develop a stronger memory in anything. You know, some of the students high school students just finished up with their exams. So a lot of them before their exam started. Were asking like, could you give us some advice? how we could do well in our exams? It's a fair question. So after all, the studying and all of that prep stuff is done. I told him to do one thing. I said, Don't do anything else. Just do this one thing. And so college and uni students, same goes for you. One thing insha Allah insha Allah, after you've done all the studying and prep, you will do well

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just say Bismillah Before you begin, say to yourself,

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because the Prophet Ali in salatu salam told us

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that keep your tongue moist with the remembrance of Allah. And then another Hadith starts adding to that, that every footstep you take Bismillah follows you say Bismillah before you begin anything, the process I said I'm didn't say, oh, by the way, it's just for Islamic stuff.

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You say Bismillah for anything and everything you do in your life. So when you're really sitting in that exam room, and you're just about to begin, just go for it.

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And most of the students who do this, I try my best to follow up with some of them, and they all have great stories about it. You know, again, we are the ones as a Muslim culture. We don't know how to use this stuff. You know, you have to spend your whole life engrossed into this knowledge to really understand how to make it work for you.

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So yeah, a oneness all of mankind.

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It takota back home. So here's the second point. Now, we're going to spend some time on this verse because this one verse is the introduction to the whole surah

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this one verse has got a little bit of everything you need to step into every subject of the story.

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So this is the most important verse in all of sorbitan Nisa. So make sure you understand this sort of really well. Okay? Allah says have Taqwa of your master it took hold up back. All right?

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When a lot talks about creation from one single person, it's usually has implications on society when Allah says, Oh my unkind have tough love of your master. Here's the first ingredient in building a successful community.

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have tough love your master, it shows that mankind's first connection is with Allah. So your first point, the one thing that brings all of us together as a community

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is what is taqwa?

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Now, how does that translate when you're dealing with people outside of Islam?

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does that translate?

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It's really simple. And you're all doing it already.

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Everybody here, we we have kind of like a general understanding and level of etiquettes that we deal with people are crying. Good morning, thank you. Go ahead, uh, hold the door for you. You know, we do these little things, that at the end of the day, we don't cause any trouble. We don't create any animosity or hate. We don't do any of that. We just follow the rules. We follow the laws and we mind our business, but we're kind to people. All of that is called taqwa.

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This is one of the most comprehensive subjects of the entire core en telkwa. It's, it's talked about over 500 times in the Quran, in different ways.

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So this one here and this particular surah. That's the attitude that Allah wants us to start off with. Okay, so the attitude that we start off with, is we have consciousness of Allah. So everybody's on the same page of what taqwa means, comes from the word with higher tune with higher tune means that you are constantly thinking and remembering Allah, everything you do in your day and night in your entire life with anyone. You're doing it with this level of consciousness that Allah is watching you seeing you monitoring you knows what you're doing, you know, if you had a lemon, you know, if we all as Muslims live that way, do you know how many problems we would solve without even

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saying a word?

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A lot of problems will just disappear and solve themselves. Because we would learn how to forgive and forget.

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And even if we didn't want to forget, forget, we'd learn how to forgive.

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And even if we didn't know how to forgive or didn't want to forgive, we'd find a common understanding

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how to move on, because why each of us have a little bit of tequila in us. Now, put it in context. Can you imagine people who are in charge of communities and serve communities, if each of them remember that this was the driving principle for them to do their jobs? Can you imagine how all of our massages would look like, all of our Institute's all of our schools, all of our company, everything would run to a standard that is more or less, just right, it's fair and just for everyone. So first ingredient to building a strong community is what everybody has to have a connection with Allah, that they are conscious of him. He's always there, okay? We move on. It took

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hold up back home, Allah, the halaqa, communists in wahida. So here's the second ingredient, how to build a strong community.

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Now, by the way, if you're not part of any, if you're not part of any leadership program, and you don't actually serve a community, that's not true.

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Because maybe your community is your family, your home, that's your community. So you have to be, you know, aware of that. And that's a massive responsibility. A community is only as strong as the families that build that community. Right. So you do have a responsibility to ensure that taqwa is preserved and protected in the family. I love the hierarchical meanness in wahida. Okay.

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Here's the second point. Let's just say you. You don't think about taqwa.

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Or you forget it, or you don't really understand what it is.

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Then what do you do?

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You remind yourself that at the end of the day, we all have one Father.

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We all come from the same person.

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That's this. The first checkmark there. One or the second one, one of the first things Islam came and destroyed was racist.

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And it's one of the biggest problems here, mentioned in this verse. So one of the first things eradicated, you know, this is a tough pill to swallow, I argue till this day,

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till this date. And, by the way, I'm only talking within Muslims in general, this is one of the toughest pills to swallow. You know, we are really good at acknowledging all of the problems outside of our own lab, but internally,

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you know, we have our share of issues. You know, we have our share of cultural dilemmas and problems where we probably don't verbally say it, but we act like it. Again, when I say we know one in particular, just generally speaking, I want you to think about a place that you walked into a Masjid or an institute or something, where the majority of that people belong to a different race or culture. And you are not part of that race or culture. How did you feel when you walked into it?

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Think for a moment.

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As a matter of fact, ask yourself, when was the last time you ever did anything like that? Why?

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Ask yourself when you go into a place, and you hear the announcements done in a different language?

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How encouraging is it for you to go back there again? Because why you've been indirectly or culturally just singled out or shift to a corner. That's not what Muslims are supposed to do. So internally, we have our share of issues on the under the subject. Now, let's reverse very quickly. How did the Prophet alayhi salaatu? Wa Salaam deal with this? Well?

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Do you notice that in the core n,

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there are hardly any verses talking about racism?

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You can probably count them on one hand, just a few. And a couple of them might be in one sorta like circle hoogenraad. Is her problem in common? I said in your corner, Hydra minimum, right.

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You know, it'll be alluded to or indirectly talked about, just it's scattered a few places here and there. That's it. There's a wisdom behind that. There's a wisdom. You know, sometimes, when you stop talking about something enough, what ends up happening? People forget about it.

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People forget about it.

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You know, and there was this one, select celebrity. I remember seeing this video online A long time ago. He was an African American gentleman, and the interviewer was asking him he was like, What do you how do you feel about Black History Month? He said, I hate it hated with a passion.

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So the trigger was shocked is like Why? It's like, what, what religion, are you? Or you're you're white? Do you want a white history month?

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And then the interviewer said, No, I definitely don't want that to mean either.

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So then the interviewer asked him, Well, how do we stop racism?

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His answer was so simple and so profound. You decide what it means. All he said was, stop talking about it.

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Stop referring to people based on their color. And you'll see what happens. And I thought to myself, you know, when I watched that,

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and then I gave a few talks in the past on the subject, and I had a real difficult time finding verses that addressed it. And it's the end I thought to myself, maybe there was some truth in that man's answer.

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That Allah does not talk about colors and race much in the Quran.

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To indirectly teach you an eye that when we see each other and when we interact with each other, we don't see color. We just see each other. That's it. Yeah. yohannes It took a lot of backroom. You have a problem with that, or we struggle with that. Okay, I love the hakomi knifes and wahida. He created you from the same anyway. Move on.

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wahala Carmen has Oh jaha we're Beth mean, Huma.

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And he drew out from that many men. So in other words, we multiplied and women again, half took off. Beth I mean, homodiegetic and Kathy are on one he said, What? takala so how many times were reordered to have tequila here? twice, right? This is not as common as you think that Allah gives you the same order twice or more in one area. That's rare in Portland, but it does happen in other places. Can anyone tell me what is the wisdom in that? I mean, we just read half taqwa. We're concluding the verse. What tequila

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what's the wisdom behind the

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is everybody here?

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Are you looking at?

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Okay, so in case you missed a reminder at first, why did the law say what took a law? And he didn't say what taco would have become a second time? Why did he add his name in the second?

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You see that right?

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shows more mercy. Okay, anything else?

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Think about this. If a parent tells their kid

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make sure you go to bed at 9pm

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okay 9pm rolls around. He's still on Nintendo are still watching TV.

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Then the parent comes back the second time.

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Only this time. First it was dad. But now mom came in.

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Didn't daddy tell you to go to bed at night?

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Same command or same instruction. But only this time. The mom added who the name of the fathers didn't daddy say so didn't that I saw daddy came in he told you this.

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It just sounds a bit more profound. It sounds like I don't want to say it sounds a bit more frightening. Because that's not the intent of the verse. So you're right when you say if in case you missed it the first time but there's more to it than that. It's not just about the command anymore. Hey, if you forgot telco in the beginning of this a while I'm going to tell you tequila again. But also, I'm going to put my name because when you remember me if you forget tequila, then just don't forget me.

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The source of it all. See how beautiful that is? This is what I like to call this the psychology of course. Like if you sit there and you really reflect and monitor the wording of verses, Allah He you will never pass that verse unless you find something incredibly amazing.

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So Allah adds his name to the second order. So that okay, you're already forgetting this stuff. Don't forget me. My name is here now with tequila alethea Tessa, Ilona, B he will or ham.

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This is really interesting. Then Allah says, with what you ask for and our ham. Why is this verse restricted to people who ask?

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They're asking him though.

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Okay, so to remind each other about accountability that when you ask of and you talk about Allah, so in context, during the time of our Prophet Alayhi, Salatu was Salam. There were many people, especially in Medina, many different tribes that used to come and insult him. And used to talk about this Allah figure that he believed in that he worship. And this

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was a introductory response to that, that if you did not know how to debate your issues, or you weren't fluent in the subject at hand, which we're going to see in a moment, the store is going to get really specific about certain things. If you're not accustomed to it or you don't know the background of that stuff. This a is also saying whatever it is that they're asking you about, if you don't have the answer, at least respond to them. Like Home Depot, quote, comb. Walia, Dean. Hey, you know, at the end of the day, look, you got your way, but this is my deal. At the end of the day. Yeah, it might be complicated. You probably don't understand it. Actually. I don't understand it as

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well. But I submit to it, because a lot tells me submit right now.

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Well, Alterna, you see some things don't get into it. Even if you know

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what this first verse is teaching you and it is there are foundational principles that have to be intact, before you start building a community. And before you start building relationships, friendships, there has to be an SS. We call it an Arabic, you've got to have some common understanding. So the common understanding in this verse is, make sure that you're all at least connected to him in some way. So I love the Tessa Luna v. One or ham, this I was really surprised about where this come from. So we're talking about everything, everything in general, all of mankind, all people, then we're talking about the people who come and question you about your deen,

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then all of a sudden, and family, relatives and make sure that that's all intact as well. Whoa. So here you are talking to the Muslim or talking to the world about your deen and about Allah. Then all of a sudden Hey also your family your

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aunts and uncles, those really annoying ones that all of us have in our families. Yeah, make sure you keep a good relationship with everybody.

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Where'd this come from?

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What's the wisdom here?

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What do you see when you see that? wall or ham? So little Raheem? keeping close ties and good family relationships?

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Where does that fit? Like? How does that fit in everything that we've just looked at?

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If you can understand this, then you'll be able to respond to many critics of the end that say things like,

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por n is just a lot of your your verses are just mumble jumble. So random talk. I mean, here we're talking about this is a family's. Who was talking about that we're talking to all of mankind, why bringing families Why make it so personal?

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What's the wisdom behind that?

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tokoto levita sir, aluna be here. What are him in the Lucha kennerly community with the wisdom brothers and sisters, students is that

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you will have a difficult time

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trying to relate

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to people.

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And if you do,

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you also struggle. The same thing with family.

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You know, there are lots of Muslim families out there that are practicing families. They adhere to their Deen they take it seriously. Except that one son.

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He just he went to Mars somewhere.

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Except that one cousin. I don't want my kids near that one cousin. So bad influence on my kids. Except that one uncle that just never knows how to do any business transaction in a highlight way.

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We all have one of those.

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And so this verse is telling you, if you fail at everything out there,

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it brings you back to what? Your family don't fail here. Don't lose sight of that.

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All too often, people get engrossed Muslims getting gross and giving Dawa to everyone else. Except to.

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Sometimes the family is like at the bottom of that list.

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You're sitting, you're spending your time teaching the world to deem

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a lesson in another sorta what's your analogy? mattina imama.

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It's a door that believers are making, especially here in this context. In this particular verse in Switzerland called upon, it's actually the husbands that are saying this make me of the tepee that is an Imam. And Mmm, where it's one of the names of husbands in the horror and by the way, a lot calls them Mmm, where, when it's time for them to preserve and protect taqwa in the family. It's the man's job. When I say it's the man's job, he takes the leading role in ensuring that Islam is preserved and protected in his in his home, he takes that leading role when he gets weak, he needs to figure a way out to get himself strong again.

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We're gonna come to that as well we hopefully will get to today where we have a section about we're going to get into a little bit of marriage

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and what you're going to see about the suta it may shock you so with that being said last point we move on then uh luck includes any says Indeed, Allah has always has had his hand on your neck.

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What does that mean? comes from the word Araki in the law can I lay Kumar Atiba? Allah has always had his hand around your neck, or up here from a rock harbor.

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It means to grab like a sheep or a goat by the neck and you force it to go where you want it to go. You ever see some people they do that? Like if you watch any videos or anything? Sometimes the farmer grabs the sheep by the neck and steers it. We are all under that control with Allah. He has that level of control over his creation. And as a matter of fact, I edited their amendment quoted to be goes into a whole discussion about a law one of his names is he is a rock keep the old watchful. How does that translate as one of his names? When a les says that he is a rough heap? Think of it as like, there are 24 there is 24 hour a day surveillance in the sky.

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And it's not just he's watching over you.

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He's a very watchful it's the it's the surveillance system that never turns off. Never needs a break.

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Watching you when you're sleeping.

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And he's monitoring and calculating everything that you do, everything is being put together on a scale, nothing is left out.

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I'll repeat what it does at the end of the day. So here's the the benefit that I hope you can receive from this. On the one hand, you know, especially young people, they get really terrified when they hear stuff like that.

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But on the other hand, I always like to think that this is actually one of the greatest blessings I could ever ask for. That I have a creator that never ever takes his eyes off of me. So always mindful of what I do. So when people forget me, then I know he doesn't forget me. When people stop helping me, I know he he won't stop helping me he will always be there. mm chef Rahim Allah said one of the most beautiful statements I've ever heard in my life of any scholar. So if you want to, to note that, it's really, really absolutely beautiful. I quoted a lot. So some of you might have heard it before. He said that when people abandon you in times of need, in times of hardship,

00:31:09--> 00:31:16

you said count that as a blessing, because it's a LA's way of showing you that he will solve your problems all by himself.

00:31:19--> 00:31:31

Let me say it again. When people leave you, in times of need, they abandon you. That's a LA's way of teaching you and saying to you, I will take care of you myself.

00:31:32--> 00:31:39

It almost creates like this beautiful, private relationship between you and Allah subhanho wa Taala.

00:31:40--> 00:31:45

That's what you get from a royalty. So it's actually supposed to draw you in closer to him.

00:31:46--> 00:31:46


00:31:54--> 00:32:07

Keeping strong ties with family is considered to be one of the top five, greatest and most blessed ways of guaranteeing yourself Jenna.

00:32:08--> 00:32:36

If there ever was a way there was ever something that you could do. And if you did it well, the end is nothing but Jenna, this would be one of them, is keeping family ties. Now that's easier said than done. Right? It's easier said than done. Even if your family isn't Muslim, I still have an obligation to keep at least good ties, a good relationship overall. Like my in laws, none of them are Muslim, we have a great relationship.

00:32:38--> 00:32:39

And we have a great understanding.

00:32:41--> 00:33:06

So you know, it can be done. How you do that? And what are some of the strategies that you can use to achieve that it varies with family to family, right? So you have to when you look at this verse, note immediately, that keeping Family Ties is probably just as important or maybe even more important than giving Dawa to the entire world.

00:33:08--> 00:33:40

Before you call others to the right path, you call your family and encourage them. That's really hard. Like, I'm not gonna butter this up in any way, it's an extremely difficult thing, especially in this time and age that we live in. A lot of the morals and ethics and, and mannerisms that we all grew up with, in terms of how families live and interact with each other. A lot of it is lost. All those simple things that we all used to do back home.

00:33:41--> 00:33:42

When you were kids,

00:33:43--> 00:33:43

it's gone.

00:33:45--> 00:33:53

You would live and die for your brother, no matter how annoying he is. You know, maybe you get into a fight here and there, but you'd work things out.

00:33:54--> 00:33:57

You know, your parents, they never had to repeat themselves to you.

00:33:58--> 00:34:01

All of this stuff is almost impossible to find.

00:34:02--> 00:34:04

Now it's the hardest thing to teach young people.

00:34:06--> 00:34:12

You know your mom, dad? Yeah, I know they don't speak English, but you got to just stay quiet and figure them out.

00:34:13--> 00:34:57

You can't call them names. Just because you have a degree. You don't get to act like you're better. You have to bring yourself to their level or even below. So laws words by the way. Law Fifth Level imagina has the mean of Russia. Lower your wings of humility to them out of mercy towards them. They've never went to school and you have like 12 degrees. It means nothing. Allah says put yourself at their level or even below. Stop using big words with them. To show that you know stuff speaks in simpler languages. You know how I learnt this is I watched some of the orlimar do this with their mothers. You know the great scholar who's still alive today ship orthotic Shanthi t happy Lola he's

00:34:57--> 00:35:00

one of the foci of Medina teaching

00:35:00--> 00:35:09

In both the Hartman Medina and Mecca, right, and he has one of the biggest lecture sessions probably in the world, if you go to one of his lectures,

00:35:10--> 00:35:14

there are at least maybe two or 3000 people sitting there every day.

00:35:15--> 00:35:42

So one day he was giving a story about his mum, who passed away. And he said that one day he was talking to students and students, when they come and see him, they kiss him, and they hug him. And they're just, literally, this is the man, if you get one sentence out of him, it could guide you for the rest of your life. Like that's how profound profound his knowledge is. And his mom was there. So he stood up and he started answering some questions. And his mom interrupted and said, Ah, straighten your back.

00:35:44--> 00:35:46

Because the chick was just like, this is a second back.

00:35:48--> 00:36:05

The students are the ones that really wrote about this. And they said, the chef did not even look at his mom. He just obeyed her straighten his back. Then he continued, about an hour went by mom is still there. Okay, okay, yucky. Enough, stop now.

00:36:06--> 00:36:23

He looked at all that time, there was probably about 100 students around him. Salaam Alaikum. I have to bow down, grabbed his mom's hand. Every time he tells the story, by the way, he never he never finishes it. He starts weeping in front of everyone. He could never finish this.

00:36:24--> 00:36:29

And every time he talks about parent, his mom, his his his father as well.

00:36:30--> 00:36:38

It's It's so overwhelming with emotion, that it's quite extraordinary to see that and witness that.

00:36:40--> 00:36:59

These are the things you probably don't hear about anymore. Now we struggle just to have our kids listen to us when we tell them Could you please take out the garbage? Could you please Okay, I mean, I just want one cup of tea. You don't even have to put the tea bag you just boil boil some water I'll finish the rest please I beg you

00:37:00--> 00:37:03

it's it's it's it's this transition.

00:37:04--> 00:37:34

Point is at the end of the day our Prophet Alia site or sound told us about this right? Some of these things will start to disappear. And when this happens, realize that the the Day of Judgment is right around the corner. So all of this is captured through this one verse. That's our attitude going into sort of in the center, okay. And the law had canale Kumara peba a login force you to where he wishes you to be. So, in turn, we have control over nothing, even ourselves. Okay.

00:37:35--> 00:37:38

Now it's going to start getting into some of the other subjects.

00:37:40--> 00:37:48

What and then Allah says, what actually uttama um, while the home wallet about the Aloha visa bill

00:37:49--> 00:37:56

while at Hulu, and while home Ella and Wiley Co. Now who can hold them caviar? Oh, okay.

00:37:57--> 00:37:59

And give it to the orphans.

00:38:01--> 00:38:04

We all know what orphans are right?

00:38:05--> 00:38:10

Has anyone seen or been around orphans? at all?

00:38:12--> 00:38:16

Anyone here has interacted or been around orphans?

00:38:18--> 00:38:21


00:38:22--> 00:38:24

was it here in Canada or elsewhere?

00:38:26--> 00:38:34

The only interaction I've ever had was I visited an orphanage in Medina. That was a I've never met any orphans here or anywhere else.

00:38:36--> 00:38:47

I want you to just observe how Allah talks about orphans in this in this surah. There are probably over just over a dozen verses that address this subject.

00:38:48--> 00:38:59

Allah says first and foremost, look at the attitude we were in in verse one, what Look what Allah is taking to taking us to next and give to the orphans, their property, their money.

00:39:01--> 00:39:12

So we went from the whole world, to the closest people near you. Who are we talking about now? children without parents.

00:39:14--> 00:39:16

So our next obligation

00:39:17--> 00:39:25

towards society towards community is we look out for the overall well being of home.

00:39:27--> 00:39:30

In this context, it's orphans. just

00:39:31--> 00:39:36

general life generalize that word for a minute. We're looking at for whom children.

00:39:38--> 00:39:44

Children, got the second verse of this sorta it's gonna continue.

00:39:46--> 00:39:54

Not, you know, the leaders, not the scholars and not teachers, kids. And on top of that,

00:39:56--> 00:40:00

kids would know parents, you know, back in the days and actually even still some

00:40:00--> 00:40:06

cultures today do this. It's really sad. But they treat orphans, like subhuman,

00:40:07--> 00:40:27

that they're sort of kind of humans. They're not really. They're just whatever. Society didn't know what to do with it. They're kind of leftovers from families that nobody wants to just shove them into a building, and we'll figure it out. We're start collecting donations, somebody will start a campaign in a program and pay attention to them. Yeah, there are cultures that do this today.

00:40:29--> 00:41:16

Allah says, Now, give them their properties. So obviously, when their parents have passed, there is some money or wealth that's left behind. What happened back in those days, is that you can see the first check mark, this verse was revealed, speaking to the guardians and protectors of the orphans, so those who were in charge of them. So what they would do back in the days when this sword was being revealed, is tribes and even leaders of those tribes will have a certain amount X amount of orphans. But they would not use their pocket pocket money to raise them and care for them, they would eventually get access to some of their property, some of the wealth that was left behind,

00:41:16--> 00:41:17


00:41:18--> 00:41:34

What they used to do, however, is you'll see later on in the same verse in a minute, that they used to take their own money and property that probably wasn't as good wasn't as rich or valuable, and exchange it.

00:41:36--> 00:41:50

So in other words, if they came with, you know, some some beautiful clothing, real good quality clothing, you don't need that. Here, take this piece of cloth and just wrap yourself with it. It's good.

00:41:51--> 00:41:56

And they'll keep the valuable stuff. That's what Ally's talking about when he says,

00:41:57--> 00:42:04

Give the orphans their properties, and do not substitute the defective for the good.

00:42:07--> 00:42:09

So what is the law doing here?

00:42:10--> 00:42:14

He's looking out for children. And he's also protecting what have children

00:42:16--> 00:42:17

their rights?

00:42:18--> 00:42:28

Tell me when was the last time you ever heard a sentence like that? We have to stand up and protect the rights of all children.

00:42:29--> 00:42:32

Think about when was the last time you heard a sentence like that?

00:42:33--> 00:42:35

Especially again, in the Muslim world.

00:42:37--> 00:42:41

Let's make sure that we don't forget what it looks like today. Today,

00:42:43--> 00:42:44

young people in general,

00:42:46--> 00:43:04

if they're lucky, they might make it on the list of priorities for a particular organization or Institute or what have you. They might make it there. And if they do, it kind of looks like this. Yes, yes. We need the youth to come to our Masjid. You You're here, there's a vacuum.

00:43:06--> 00:43:26

There's a broom. We need volunteers to sweep up, sweep up my office or something, you know, just take care of this and that. Really the youth we need the youth. Okay, fine. Forget the chores. We need to use to be part of the community our future. We need somebody to teach them a program. Let's hire so and so Okay, come on, you're hired.

00:43:28--> 00:43:34

Your salary is going to be five bucks an hour. We want you to teach for seven hours a day.

00:43:36--> 00:43:58

I know there's prep time. So whatever, 15 hours a day, whatever you need. But this is the community's money is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Go ahead, teach them. And poor teachers now stuck with maybe 45 young people, students that no one even knows exists. Because I was the last interaction that they've ever had with anyone else.

00:43:59--> 00:44:02

They've always been shoved to the corner.

00:44:03--> 00:44:16

And I did a survey. Not once a few times. You know, I teach high school students, right. Right now, I teach about. I think it's 175. Right?

00:44:17--> 00:44:30

For one year, split up in three places. All together. It's about 100. No, actually, it's more than that. It's just oh, I think it's probably over 200 now, right? Because one of the classes alone I have is 106.

00:44:32--> 00:44:45

So I did this, I tried something and I do this every year. I tell the students I said tell me three things that you want to see when you walk in to a Masjid. What's the three things that are most important to you when you walk in there?

00:44:46--> 00:44:59

No matter what it was that like some of them said things like oh my god, I just want food. You know, the other was like, I just want a gym. But all of them said we just want a little bit of appreciation.

00:45:00--> 00:45:01

Bit of respect, that's all.

00:45:03--> 00:45:06

And that really, really hit me hard.

00:45:07--> 00:45:52

Look how Allah respects young people. He not only respects them, he stands up for them and protects their rights if something belonged to them. He didn't even say, okay, you know, all those who are in charge when you get some time or if you run out of your own wealth, make sure that you're fair. He jumped straight to the order straight to the Mo, and said, make sure what's theirs is theirs. Then on top of that, don't try to play any games with them, because just because they're young, and have no one to stand up for them. In the law, again, early Kumar Optiva. Remember the last sentence Allah left before he got into this area? I'm right behind you and I can hold you by your neck. So don't

00:45:52--> 00:45:54

mess around, then it continues.

00:45:55--> 00:46:09

If you see this second check mark. This is one narration mentioned in emammal code to be Stef seal. There was a rich man who gained some wealth from his brother's nephew who cared for an orphan right. And the orphan matured.

00:46:11--> 00:46:16

The son had asked this particular orphan for money.

00:46:17--> 00:46:58

And his uncle said don't so this kid his dad said No, don't do that. Because when the prophecy Silva heard of this incident, that particular verse was revealed. And the uncle then said, I seek refuge from Allah, our although billahi min huben Kabira who have been Kabira everything that is forbidden intensely and if you do it, then you deserve to be scolded. There's always been something that is detestable. So in other words, the thought of taking something from orphans that did not belong to you. A lot did not say it's wrong.

00:46:59--> 00:47:06

He called it in no Cana Hoban caveolae, the end of this verse that is ever a great sin.

00:47:07--> 00:47:18

Do you see how if those of you who don't know Arabic, look at the translation, and then look at how Houben kibito really is how much of what you saw at the bottom you got from that last sentence?

00:47:19--> 00:47:22

Do you see what translation is?

00:47:23--> 00:47:53

Just one or 2% of what the verse is really saying? Because it just looks like oh, it's a big sin. Okay. Don't do that. No, actually, if you do take from their wealth unjustly and unfairly to Allah, you deserve to be put on the spot. You deserve to be to get some kind of punishment be reprimanded in some way and even scolded why. Because that's when hooven Kibera is a lie. Didn't say just hoba he added the word Kabira. Even if you know a little bit of Arabic, what's Kabira?

00:47:54--> 00:47:58

So I'm thinking that's great. That's massive. That's huge. You can't see the end of it.

00:47:59--> 00:48:09

You know, it almost sounds like if you were ever allowed to hold a grudge on someone, this is probably one of those Wait, places. That person there. Yeah, he used to steal from kids. Watch out for him.

00:48:11--> 00:48:47

It's almost it almost reaches that level. That person has become known Hoban, Kabira, it's a big deal to a lot. Okay. This is just the introduction. Now, the wealth of orphans can be used in two scenarios. So remember, Courtney talks a little bit about faith, we're not going to go into all of it. But just to give you some appreciation of what the subject is like. Because most most of us in this part of the world probably won't study this stuff, just because we're not exposed to orphans as often as probably others in other parts of the world. So orphans can generally be used to their wealth can be used in two scenarios.

00:48:49--> 00:49:09

Number one, is to maintain the needs of the basic necessities, food, clothing and everything else. If here's the condition, that's why I put it in bright yellow, this is the condition if the Guardian is unable to do this for him or herself, see that condition? So in other words, they have to be doing this on their own first.

00:49:12--> 00:49:13

Does anybody know why?

00:49:15--> 00:49:32

Because the kids when they inherited this money from their parents, unless if it's stated in a will. That's not actually what the money is used for. It's not used for the basic necessities. The guardians are the ones that are responsible for them because why they're

00:49:33--> 00:49:40

their kids. You don't tell kids Hey, listen, I need to start paying rent. I know you're five

00:49:41--> 00:49:46

but um, that's what you need to do. You should go to the store and pick up your own clothing yourself as well.

00:49:48--> 00:49:59

So that's why you do that. So that's why he he or she becomes responsible. If they're struggling Of course, and look, look at the other condition and use only what is necessary.

00:50:00--> 00:50:15

So you can say, Okay, well, you know, we've got two orphans in the house. I've got one kid. So now it's five of us. I'm gonna, I'm gonna need a van. As a matter of fact, I'm gonna need a bus. And it's not gonna be any bus. So I'm gonna buy like a Mercedes.

00:50:17--> 00:50:17

Can't do that.

00:50:19--> 00:50:26

So only what is necessary? You know, these might these might these examples might sound a bit far fetched, but if you really think about them,

00:50:27--> 00:50:41

oh, you need a phone. Okay. Let's just wait until the iPhone 20 comes out. And that's yours. Let me You know what, let me see if I can get it today. Just gotta pay a little extra. We'll use all of your inheritance, but we'll get it for you. You don't get to do that.

00:50:42--> 00:50:45

strict rules for orphans that how you spend their wealth in court. And

00:50:47--> 00:51:07

this is not just about responsibility, it goes back to the same a and this is a law protecting the wealth of people who can't protect anything, because they're just kids. Okay? Or give all the wealth to the orphan once they've matured enough and become responsible. Eva hanifa Rahim Allah,

00:51:08--> 00:51:25

He is of the opinion that you become responsible. You can have money of your own when you hit around 25 years, then you can Okay. Have your own bank account and do your own thing. That's even mobile. hanifa Rahim Allah.

00:51:26--> 00:52:05

This is why in these days, like if you go to open an account, if a kid is below a certain age, what do they need someone to cosign, they need a guardian. So some of these principles are actually implemented in our system. Today, we're going to talk about more about kids and money. In the next verse. Before Islam, no inheritance was given to women and children, still, the Meccans took large sons of inheritance, how they traded whatever they had for something better or more valuable, which we've talked about, they believed a head for a head, meaning you're an orphan, and so was I, they cared nothing about the justice in the transaction. So in other words, when they had an orphan in

00:52:05--> 00:52:19

front of them, he's a tribal leader. He said to that orphan, well, when I was your age, I was also an orphan. So you get the same treatment that I get, when I was your age, I ate only bread.

00:52:20--> 00:52:30

That's it, you're gonna get that. So when you're done, you can join us at the table there when we're slaughtering gold or something, and we're having a nice feast. You don't get to do that.

00:52:31--> 00:52:40

This was actually a silly as crazy as that. So that was actually the practice back in those days. And I wouldn't be surprised if that still happens today.

00:52:42--> 00:52:46

So it's not just about money anymore. What is this really about?

00:52:47--> 00:52:49

traditions, culture,

00:52:50--> 00:53:04

heritage, all of these things have to synchronize in a principle of just unfairness for both the orphan and the family, or the people that are under that care for them. Really, really important. Okay.

00:53:06--> 00:53:25

Before we get to this, I showed the lohana an orphan so there was a lady and she had this little young girl with her. And they came at the door of Iowa without the lavorgna the prophecy seven had left. He wasn't home at that time. So they were beggars. And you know how beggars are right.

00:53:26--> 00:53:31

At least in that part of the world, as long as they can find a kid, even if it's not their own. Look, I got a kid

00:53:32--> 00:53:39

starts crying, please cry. Look, he's crying. So I showed the aligner What did she do?

00:53:40--> 00:53:46

She went and she got the last piece of date that they had in the home.

00:53:47--> 00:53:58

She broke it in half, and she gave it to them. She also found a piece of bread, and she gave that away as well. Now the house has nothing. They were happy and they left

00:54:00--> 00:54:02

the prophesy. centum eventually comes home.

00:54:03--> 00:54:06

He's asking about the loved one. How

00:54:07--> 00:54:11

do we have anything? So he asked her? Do we have anything in the oven?

00:54:12--> 00:54:26

Okay, so in those pits where they used to cook things, Do we have anything in there? She said no yada sola, as a matter of fact, I gave away the last of what we had to this, these two that came to our home.

00:54:28--> 00:54:33

And then the prophets I seldom said, and he quoted this particular verse that

00:54:34--> 00:54:59

when you have children in the picture, who may or may not have parents, even if the guardians are there, that's enough. You said In other words, he's saying to you gave it to him. That's fine. You will see the result of that investment in your IRA. He actually praised the shadow The love I have for doing that. Why? Because there was a kid in the picture and look like this.

00:55:00--> 00:55:22

kid did not have parents with her. So that was okay. It's a long Hadeeth. It's narrated in Bahati. It's a very famous Hadith. The point is, is when it came to orphans promises, some never asked any questions, even if he was down to his last bit. So, last thing is huben refers to a camel hum, it is one of the names of sins. Why?

00:55:23--> 00:56:02

One of the names of sins in the poor end? hooba. Why? Because that's what sins do. If you don't address them, what do they end up doing? They end up becoming a huge and massive burden in your life. You know, it kind of looks like man. I said the word again. Oh, my God. I looked at the same thing again. I did the same thing again. So before, it might have been okay, it's just once or twice, but now it's become a habit. And it's really bugging you. It's really affecting the way you deal with people. The way you deal with yourself and your family. That's called hooba. So these are like the after effects of sins, if they're not addressed, prophecies seldom used to make dua to

00:56:02--> 00:56:05

Allah lo Mo Farah, hello Betty.

00:56:06--> 00:56:29

Please the ask Allah azza wa jal to forgive him of this kind of sin, the kind of sin that goes unnoticed, and it continues to pile and pile and pile. You ever noticed that? You know, somebody might come and tell you Listen, man, you got like a real attitude. And you look at them and you're like, Are you serious? Me? I had never thought yeah, you have an attitude since the day I met you.

00:56:30--> 00:56:34

What's the attitude? You're stubborn? Boy, I'm not get out of here. See?

00:56:37--> 00:56:44

Sometimes we have habits. Others need to call it out to us. Because if it's let go, it ends up looking like this.

00:56:46--> 00:56:50

Does anybody know? Or at least tell me why this is a problem.

00:56:51--> 00:57:08

Why don't you want? What's the problem if the sins pile up? Because forgiveness is always there. As long as you're here. You ask a lot to repent for repentance and forgiveness then surely should be okay. So what's the big deal? Why why specify this particular problem with Siddons that they pile?

00:57:11--> 00:57:13

What's the wisdom behind us knowing that?

00:57:17--> 00:57:18

Think of it this way.

00:57:20--> 00:57:21

If you took a handful of dirt

00:57:23--> 00:57:25

and threw it on your driveway,

00:57:26--> 00:57:27

every day,

00:57:29--> 00:57:31

what will eventually happen to that pile of dirt.

00:57:33--> 00:57:50

It'll get so big that it'll start to do what it'll start to create a problem with your car getting in and out. People walking in and out, then ends would look at and be like, wow, we've got an amazing spot here. So they'll start investing.

00:57:52--> 00:57:56

It'll create one problem after another. That's how that's why who buys a problem.

00:57:57--> 00:58:24

If you leave a sin, to carry on, because the person decides to trivialize it, or it's not a big deal, or just happened once, this is what this is why the promises said a made a while against this, to protect him and forgive him of that. These are the kinds of sins that you don't realize, but everyone else sees it in you. So you ask a lot of forgive you from them. Because someone could have that pile getting bigger and bigger in their heart.

00:58:25--> 00:58:28

And they just don't see it that way. Right.

00:58:29--> 00:58:30

Number three,

00:58:31--> 00:58:33

Allah continues and he says,

00:58:34--> 00:58:36

are we doing? You know,

00:58:37--> 00:58:39

I'm just getting warmed up here, man.

00:58:40--> 00:58:41


00:58:42--> 00:58:48

students, how are we doing? Does anybody have any questions? Before we continue?

00:58:50--> 00:58:51


00:59:03--> 00:59:07

When we say when we talking about orphans, yes.

00:59:08--> 00:59:10

So our prophets I sent him defined it this way.

00:59:12--> 00:59:13

But um, you know,

00:59:15--> 01:00:00

we don't want to get into the details of how this is. What I wanted is that, if you notice this verse, it's very generic in the way it's addressing the subject, it will get into more detail somewhere in the middle of the surah. So what I want everyone to just kind of see for a moment is just to kind of appreciate a big picture here. We're going to come to a section of the surah where Allah will talk about if you do happen to consume the wealth of this orphan, what's going to happen and when that happens, that's where this conversation gets introduced now. exactly who gets punished

01:00:00--> 01:00:10

For taking the wealth of that orphan, and who gets the reward. So in this case is you're going to start to see there's more commentary coming of,

01:00:11--> 01:00:18

of emammal court to be defining exactly what is a team. Okay, so we'll come to the

01:00:19--> 01:00:38

I didn't want to introduce that yet. Is that okay? Of what exactly is a a team and what the how that's defined in Arabic language? We're not going to get there yet. Okay, so just roll with this sort of for now. Because we're still at the introductory points of some of these themes. Is that okay?

01:00:39--> 01:00:53

I'm just one of those teachers, I'm very meticulous about jumping ahead. Because even for me, I get really confused myself when I'm when I'm when I'm teaching it even right. So this particular verse,

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verse number three,

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continues with the same subject. We're in Clifton, Allah takasi, to Philly, Atlanta. So if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls,

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in this particular case,

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then marry those that please you have other women, okay? Everybody knows what this verses right?

01:01:20--> 01:01:23

Look at the first check mark, see, I have polygamy, right?

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For some cultures, and so on, that's the only area that some people memorize and the whole core end. Right?

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So unfortunately, but

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this is what this is one of the verses that I like to think is one of the most abused verses of the Quran

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when I talk about polygamy, but obviously, you can see that many circles around the world have devoted discussions to either eliminate or reform this particular practice. I've put some notes there that you can take a look at, right?

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If this happened, during the time of the process, I said them It means that it was a norm back then. And generally speaking, that principle can apply to wherever this practice is happening.

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But here's, here's what I want you to note.

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Remember, this principle that scholars of our soul teach us, every time you come across a subject in our Deen

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that has multiple

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opinions to add that are valid opinions. So there's more than one way to achieve that thing. whenever that happens,

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this is your first indication that you have a choice whether to practice this or not.

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Or you have a certain extent that you can go and you don't have to go beyond them. So in other words, if you apply that principle to this subject, we don't have a single au or Hadith commanding men to do this. Right. We don't have a single area or heading this area has a context to it, which I'll get to in a minute, right?

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The fact of the matter is that

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most of the oma doesn't have this practice.

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And we're not going to say well, because most of us are not doing let's just eliminate it because we can't do that either. It is in the end. However, what's also in this same surah is Allah says lt Allah will have to Rotorua so what will Emery minko sin the same surah right. bale obeys messenger also obey the leaders of your country.

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Now, you take that order now. And you can easily apply it especially to practices like this where you have choice in it. So let me ask you,

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if you take that order, obey Allah obey His Messenger, and leadership.

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How does this practice look right now?

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It's not applicable, can practice this? Even islamically? You can't do that, at least where we are. You understand? And it doesn't mean that you're rejecting the idea. Okay, verse number three, I've rejected I know, what you're saying is that this subject has given that that the opportunity to make that choice, it's not a closed subject, you either do it or you don't.

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If someone does decide to follow through this, they will still be sinful, in the sight of Allah, doing it in a place where it wasn't allowed

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to understand.

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Because I hear this conversation all the time. It's in the Quran,

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who no one can say anything.

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And this is the practice level. Yeah.

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But it wasn't wajib it wasn't it's not order to us to do it. So we accept it as a

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Verse of the Quran we accept that it's there.

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But we also have to be very aware and mindful that there are verses in this exact same surah that are very strict, explicit verses talking to you about the laws.

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even talking about culture, and tradition, all of those factors play a role in making decisions like this. Now, when it comes to things where we can't make no, we can't compromise. So for example, let's say like,

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prayer, suppose there was a lot that said, okay, you can go and pray five times a day no more.

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That's, that's a different story. Because now that's a direct mo to an order in the end, that's your whole purpose and identity. So if you're restricted to do that, which some countries in the world are, by the way, right?

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If that's the case, now you have some decisions to think about. Okay, why do I go somewhere else? How do I do this. So just keep this principle because it solves a lot of these problems. Whenever you come across a subject that has a difference of opinion in it, that's your first clue that you have to be wise and make a choice of what is most feasible in the culture and society and land that you live in. That's the blessing. I argue that this is what the process seller meant when he said llt, level Rama, even though it's an it's a darf Hadith, that difference of opinion, is a mercy. The wisdom in it is quite interesting.

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So when you have this the opportunity to make different decisions, it's almost Oh, this is a blessing in by itself, because I can make the decision here and still respect the order, respect the knowledge and the theory of the Quran and the Sunnah, like, you could still preserve all of that. Anyhow, my point is this, if you look for continue reading

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two, three, or four,

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in terms of those numbers,

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anybody who goes beyond the sum of their element, argue they're not even Muslim anymore.

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Because you're basically saying, oh, Allah, you didn't give me enough. That's pretty much what they're saying. Unfortunately, you know, the people who do fall into this vast majority of them do not know how to uphold the rights and keep this a civilized you know, unit or relationship or marriage. So it's, it's, it's really really this here, this one as I have seen earlier, man, right volumes on this one as literally volumes.

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But if you fear that you will not be just then only one marry one.

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Or those your right hand possesses that subject is coming in an A by itself. So we're gonna go into detail of what your right hand possesses really is, what's that talking about? That is more suitable that you may not inclined. So in other words, in other words, there's a couple things that you want to keep in mind with this particular verse. Marriage in Islam is a means of offering women we lie, we lie Meaning what? protection, stability, security.

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So for the husbands and brothers, this is one of the students that's going to really put your role and responsibilities and in America, it's going to really speak loud and clear to us. What exactly do you have to do? What are your primary roles in that kind of relationship? This is one of them. You are we layer. So this way layer is a transfer of responsibilities from the original mela or Willie the Father. That's what marriage is. So the father is giving his responsibility and saying to the son in law, you are now I'm gonna pass the torch on to you.

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That's what that's what that transaction is all about. It's not okay. She's no longer my daughter, Santa Monica.

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Right cultures do that.

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cultures are the ones that mess that up. It's not

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okay, she's still your girl.

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Still your daughter. As a matter of fact, there was a time when a prophecy Selim was approached by a father. He married off his daughter to somebody and that husband started beating her abusing her. So he came to the to the process and said Jada sold a law for cut for rush to her. I gave her the red carpet when she was with me.

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Think about how real this Hadeeth is okay. I gave her the red carpet. And when he when she married this man, he hit her.

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And the promises sent him looked at the man, the Father, you know what he did? He didn't say, Okay. Let's just wait and see where this goes. He didn't say go tell her to be patient. He didn't say okay. We need counselors. You

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Nobody said,

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he told a father, let's go and break this relationship and separate the two of them. Without hesitation, he didn't ask about nothing. What does that tell you how to process and approach this kind of abuse?

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Zero tolerance. Remember this statement, there is no patience for abuse in our Deen. There's no patience, if you decide to take on that. That's your choice. And there's a tremendous reward for that.

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But remember, again, that no, we're in our Dean told you to do that

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last point, and we're done. A brief overview of shared rights and responsibilities between the husband and wife. So because now this verse introduced some of these things,

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when you're doing a thematic study, you need to get a good clear picture of the subject itself. So it already started into introduce about caring and protecting the spouse. So what I've done is I've just extracted some of the shared rights because why the subject is massive. I think even that the subjects of rights and responsibility has to be rewritten all over again, to incorporate a lot of the struggles and a lot of the cultural taboos and society issues, societal issues, all of that have to be incorporated. If you look at how scholars talked about these subjects, you know what they did, and just a humble low height, or like, it worked for quite for hundreds of years where they would

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say the right and this is the head, this is the next, no exceptions. Now you can't do that. Now you need more. When I say more not evidence, you need more explanation of exactly what does that mean? respect him?

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What do you really say?

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protect her. I mean, like, I have to buy everything. her cell phone bill to pay for that. Yeah, she wanted the whole full internet package. Yeah, pay for it.

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Yeah, it's all in this now.

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So these are the shared responsibilities, support and encouragement. Just like Oh, they say they usually say behind every great man but apparently that saying is expired now. It's been abrogated. Now we're at beside every great men. There's always a great woman.

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Where do we get this from? One Nellie best to local one to leave us alone. Right? She's a garment for you. You are a garment for? You know what I love about that? versus how would begin? Whoa, Nelly vessel? She's a garment for him.

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started off with who?

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What does that tell you? The sisters and especially those of you who are married? If you don't know it already, you have you have you have incredible, incredible

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effect on the marriage. You can do a lot to just my presence alone.

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You know, when when he comes home, and he's got the most miserable day, but you're welcoming home or you're just at home, you got home early and you're all calm, relaxed. And you know you've got some rest, the kids are asleep.

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That can literally take that whole stressful day and throw it out the window.

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And that's how the process of Selim taught his wives. You know, this is the kind of relationship you're a supportive cast to one another. And even sometimes, and I heard one,

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one expert online. This gentleman I forget his name. He lives in Los Angeles got a lot of interesting videos about how to develop strong communication and things like that. One of the things he said is like, it's almost as if you're waiting for him to just quote the A, the way he's saying this stuff. He's like, she didn't fall in love with you, because you bought her stuff she fell in love with you is because the first thing you woke up before you check your phone. You checked her.

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You know, before you made your own breakfast.

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You made sure that you hers was ready to like he was he was trying to give this this perspective that it's not just you, you, you, you you, both of you.

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You look out for one another. So our Dean is really explicit about this stuff, protecting each other secrets and intimacies that's a separate category by itself. We have several Hadith or prophecies of them. As a matter of fact, there is a verse inserted in Nisa that talks about this particular subject that when a couple divorces, obviously they shared certain things that they should never ever occur to anyone again.

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Okay. So

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even pre

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Divorce the marriage itself, there are certain conversations you just don't have. You never talk about with anyone, not even your own sibling nothing. There's certain level of protection that must always be standard in the marriage. So you do that for one another. So just so we're clear, like if there's a particular scar somewhere, you know, or if there's a particular ailment or issue or something, don't talk about it, right? Especially when no one else knows and sees that, then you shouldn't talk about it either. strong communication about each other's and and your whereabouts. Islam is very clear about this as well.

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You want to go somewhere, make sure your spouse knows.

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That's just that's just common sense. But, you know, I've been in the marriage counselor seat for some time. I don't really do that anymore.

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I mean, I try not to do that anymore. It's hard. But it's amazing how many couples like that third point. That's a big dilemma, a big problem. Lots of marriages have this problem. Where did he go? I don't know. He just stepped out.

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Before you know it, he's in New York.

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It's kind of like tomorrow, you text him or text her? No, no response. Don't get to do that. As a matter of fact, some of the element count this as sinful.

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If he or she texted, you respond to it, you don't. And you're deliberately putting him or her through that whole mental stress. You know, and WESA was starts popping, where could he or she really be? What are they really doing?

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All of that could go back on that person's irresponsibility on this subject.

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They have a whole section on this. So we're going to talk about what that is. And of course, the men are the ones that do that. Love cared compassion. very obvious. That's the whole purpose. I get that from what Jana Bain akun know, what the 10 workmen makalah gyla, baina her or by you know who else I didn't say I gave him or I gave her? What did you say? comb, both of you, you both have to be loving and caring and compassionate. The process of them went into great detail of how to do that. By the way, if we get a chance, maybe we'll touch on a few of them. financial support, accommodation and protection. This is primarily from him.

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We're going to come to verse 34, the famous diverse 34. Does anybody know what that verse is?

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always find a student that knows it right?

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I'll reach out to cola moon Ireland, Nisa.

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I'm not going to translate that for you yet. I will tell you, however, there are some really terrible translations out there. They sound think they sound like you know, men own women.

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Men control women.

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Color moon, really awful translations. And so when we get to that verse is the Lamb. We're going to spend some time and I'm going to really dissect every word of that verse. So that you really truly understand that that verse is actually quite beautiful, over the message within that verse, okay. Just in fairness, so the financial support, again, the the husband's primary responsibility to take care of all the financial expenses. However, however,

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she is more than welcome, and also, in some cases encouraged that she sees her husband struggling,

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now that she out of her own goodwill, good heart, it's her husband, it's not her friend, that she she does what she can to help out in a system, right.

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Just unfairness.

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That's the next verse, by the way, and sharing the duties and responsibilities.

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I don't know if I should say what I want to say about this one. The process I seldom used to sit and stitch his own quality.

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He used to sweep his house.

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This is his This is the the sudden a way of telling us guys, he did house chores as well. Like, you know, sometimes you do have to get the vacuum. Sometimes you do have to mop

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sometimes, and dare I say you do have to cook. You do have to share some of those responsibilities. That's the sydnor way. However, to what extent

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that is where that requires some time to talk about. Right? To what extent do you do all of this? Now I know even if you're not married, a million questions will pop into your head about each of these. Right? It's not our subject here. However, I am more than willing to entertain as much of it as I can. Because again, this is a thematic study study. We are going to skip

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chunk up chunks of verses here because they're all be talking about the same thing. So I will say to you, okay, from verse so and so like 16. Let's go on to verse 36. Because from 16 onwards, it's all about the mon FTP. So we're going to chunk that and spend two or three classes on it done, move on. That's how a thematic study is done. Right. So with that being said, that brings us to verse number four, which is where we will pause. This is the introduction to the Mahara

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and we're going to look at various fifth issues that are related to the Mahara itself, okay, what the Mau should be and how it should be presented, the wisdom behind it, etc, all the different characteristics of the mucholder that you see there. All of the different characteristics of what a Maharaj should be? What qualifies as a manhood what doesn't? What if you've been married for 25 years and you still never got your mother? What if he passed away? And he never fulfilled it? All Yeah, this is where this conversation gets dirty, but in a good way. Okay. So with that being said, this is where we will pause and shout low szczepanik Allahumma will be hum Tikka Chateau La ilaha

01:21:10--> 01:21:18

illa Anta stuff hirokawa tubu Lake. If you have any questions, by all means, just come and talk to me up here. So I'm on ecomondo to labor