Channel: Musleh Khan
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In addition to that, so let's begin.
In addition to that,
we're going to now continue with
the next subject that we had been discussing, or we had introduced very briefly. So we talked about the first verse. So I'm gonna grab this.
So this is where we're at. We have finished introducing the sutra, we talked a little bit about where it was revealed, and how just a couple of verses here and there scholars had differed. But the point is, at the end of the day, this was still considered to be a medini Sora. That's important, because when the moment you hear a sorta is revealed in the madonie stage, that immediately tells you that that surah is going to be filled and packed with a cam and rulings of our routine. So another reason why this sutra is called suta 10 Nisa is that it also addresses all of the rulings that pertain to women and some of the issues that they're they faced with. So a lot of those common
rulings of do's and don'ts and things like that are all mentioned and introduced in this particular surah. So, we said this many times this is a unique subject or chapter of the Quran, it is extremely unique. There is no chapter in the Quran that compares the sort attending sir. And that's again important when you look at all these 114 chapters. They synchronize with other subjects they share with other subjects once was sorta we'll start a particular subject other suitors will fill in the blanks, but not suited to Nisa. Everything that it starts with it ends in the sword itself. And so some of the elements, some of the scholars of Tafseer said that even if Sudeten Nisa was excluded
out of the core, and it would be a core and by itself, right, because of how complete and unique the sorter is. So we introduce this particular verse, which we've already gone through talking about pretty much the foundation and the principles that are needed to create a strong and healthy community. It started off this way, because from a healthy community, now you start assessing the families that build that community. So that's what the rest of the verses will now go into. We talked about an introduce the subject of orphans, we talked about that. In this particular area, Allah did something very unique for young people, what did he do, he immediately called out that
their properties and money belonged to them. So don't try to take, don't try to steal, don't try to be stingy with their wealth, it belongs to them. So make sure you preserve and protect and honor the rights of these orphans, which again, in comparison to how the Quran addresses this, and how people treat orphans. In this day and age. Again, we're not talking, you know, in every culture in society, we're just talking generally, across the board. You know, it's very common to find orphanages where these kids do go through some sense of struggle, they're not given certain amount of rights, they're not given privileges like this, their wealth, probably it's been handled by a particular system or
organization. So they're restricted to how much access they may have to their own money and wealth. So it still does become a very difficult journey for them being under this umbrella of an orphan. So this sort of introduces them, but protects them as well. It's going to also talk about, so as you see at the end of this particular verse, indeed, that is ever a great sin. So Allah gives us a warning here, it's a great sin, if you take advantage of orphans and their wealth. That's the warning, it's going to go a step further than that. Why? Because the audience of this sorta didn't get this.
They heard it, but they didn't internalize it, and understand it and practice it. They still took advantage. kind of sounds like what a lot of Muslims do today with many aspects of our Deen. They know the reminder. They understand what the poor and is saying, but it doesn't actually reflect how they practice their life, or some of the things in choices they make in their life. So keep that in mind that just because in context, it might be referring to one particular group, we you and I can still get a lesson out of this. And that's one of the beauty and miracles of the poor. And we talked a little bit about these scenarios of when the wealth can be used. And again, I I put this here,
especially for us in this part.
of the world that probably have never been exposed to this group and subjects like this to kind of just tickle your appetite of how the subject is discussed in our team.
And that led us
this particular subject.
What you in Clifton Ella tacos scioto, Philly, Atlanta, and if you fear that you will not deal justly with them. Okay, so this was the idea of polygamy, but it also started off and continued with the same subject. And from this, we we looked at a brief overview of shared rights and responsibilities between the husband and wife. So that was a list of just some of the general ones, there are a few more, but these are the most important of them.
And that brought us here. So this is our next verse. Moving forward.
So verse number four, is where we are at.
Now we're going to be introduced to another crucial subject of skeleton Nisa. Which of course, is the mouth. Have you heard of this before? The mahute.
Even if you're not married, you've heard of the mouth.
And the mahato is a massive, massive subject in our team, not just in Islam, not just religiously speaking in the world today.
Many cultures and religions have different names for this. If you call this a dowry, technically, that is not what the mouth is in Islam. Because in some cultures, the dowry is optional. Whereas the mouth immediately it's compulsory to worship, the marriage is not valid without it. Now, here's the first point that I want you to note. We were just talking about orphans and their rights, weren't we? Right?
How did we get here? Well, attitudinally, set aside a party hidden Anisha and give the women upon marriage, their bridal gifts graciously. How did we jump from that subject to this? Is there a relationship or a connection between the previous a and this? Absolutely.
Can anybody share what you think that connection is?
Good, good. So here's what's happening, right? Eventually, these orphans are gonna mature, they're gonna grow. And they're going to have certain needs and responsibilities as well. And many of them will desire marriage for themselves one day, that's perfectly normal, isn't it. So as they continue to mature, they're going to also have the desire to start their own family and not have to live under someone's care anymore. So this area is introducing the subject, because any of the ones who are the protectors or the cares of these orphans, that eventually if these orphans stay with them for that period of time, and as they get older, and either you know, one of their own kids desire to
marry these orphans of this particular orphan, or what or somebody else, at least that opportunity is open for them. So love begins bringing in the discussion of the method itself. Here's the thing, though, here's the thing. Now, you really have to understand the pattern that's happening here.
Because the model is not the most important thing, when you're thinking about marrying someone is, this is all about money. This is a gift. You know, that's not the first thing that comes to mind. When someone desires marriage, there's usually many things that happen, the connection. In the end, that's called Sakina. Right? So there's this connection. And there's this bit of tranquility that this person feels right. None of that is even talked about here. Do you know why? Because those things, when it comes to feelings and emotions, they will manifest themselves. Right, they have a particular way of depending on the person, how those feelings develop, and how they become stronger,
and how they eventually lead to this kind of conversation marriage. Because let's face it, this is how you tell the difference between people who will talk to somebody just to get to know them and somebody who's talking to someone and they have the intention of marriage. It's two completely different types of conversations with two different intentions. Now, this here, when we're talking about the mouth, look at the bottom. Maybe for those of you at the back, you probably won't see it very well. The message
It is a type of living security for her.
It shows that you are willing to go above and beyond to serve and protect her. So really what's being talked about here is not just fulfilling this particular duty, you know, fulfill this honor, fulfill this right? Pay them out. Okay, I'm good. I've given it graciously. Who that's done. Now, I have to deal with this, this and this. No, it's an attitude here, there's something deeper and that is, are you willing to make the ultimate priority to want and marry this person? For the sake of protecting, providing, and whether you like it or not, whether you go through tough times or not, you are still willing, with the right intention to put every ounce of effort in making sure that she
lives a normal and safe and secure life. That's what the monitor is.
Unfortunately, very few marriages.
Very few people talk about it that way. Usually, now I want you to walk through with me on this. Okay.
All the sisters that are here, none of you are married. All the brothers that are here, none of you are married. So I want you to just imagine, right? That you found someone. And this brother asks you and toxin you guys talk about this mob thing. She says to you, I want to I want a computer.
Okay, she just says I just want a computer.
He can't go on like Kijiji now and just start looking for a use computer. It's like that's perfect, cuz you can get computers for 20 bucks. Actually, if I go to it, they might give me one for free.
Because there are computers lying around all over the place. So I could just grab one. Don't get to do that. Why? Because there's a key word in this as
well before we get to that key word. The attitude that you have to fulfill this mod is the first thing that is captured in this verse. What does Allah say? What at UniSA? He doesn't say okay, think about it, prepare yourself, discuss and then see if it works. He said to the men, give it to them. Case closed. So we don't have no right to negotiate this anymore. We can compromise. Okay, I'll give you this. This is what I need in return you don't I'll give you the my heart I need you to buy a fridge for us or something, you know, you can't do that. Unless this is give it to them. Secondly, the word that is used to describe the mother in this verse is called solder pot. Solder pot
literally comes from the word sit upon which means the truth. So the connection is this. What kind of truth does the Mahara manifest in a marriage?
So if the mother is a kind of truth, that, you know, that reflects a marriage, in what sense? How does it do that? Yeah.
Good. Okay. So that's a good start, okay. So it shows that you are willing to commit to try your very best to give her some kind of equal or similar to lifestyle from where she came from. And the mahad would reflect that. So for example, if she comes from a real poor home,
but she asked you look, I want a bag of gold.
And it's got to be gold from Italy.
And it's got to weigh this amount of pounds. And it's got to be this texture and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It kind of gives you a, you know, an idea of what she would hope that you could fulfill in terms of, Okay, these are some of my expectations that I want to feel secure. I want to be able to have that. And this is, by the way, completely Hillel. Don't frown at this or don't look down. If somebody does ask for an expensive Mao $100,000. No one has the right to say that that matters how long
you understand this? You know, and one of our professors used to tell us, if that happens to you, and you complain, oh my god, she wants so much from me. Just trying to just drain my life out before we even get married. That is an indication for you that perhaps that this is not the kind of person that you are able to fulfill and maintain that level of lifestyle like it's just not for you. So you have to respect that. You can't
Just say to her Look, I know you want 100 grand, but you know, how are you going to fit all of that in this trailer that we're gonna live in, you know, or we're going to be living with my aunt and my uncles and their 34 cousins, we're all going to be in the same home, she's not going to work can do that. This is how immediately immediately this relationship is going to indicate whether the compatibility works here or not. And Alice starts off that journey through Can you fulfill a an appropriate mount among her that she's pleased with? So go back to that whole computer example. She asks for a computer?
The responsibilities you go back to what kind of computer do you want? She says, You know what? Forget the computer, I want an iPad, and I want it to be an android or something like a tablet. So I want a Samsung tablet. And as a matter of fact, she saw the commercial, so she wants that exact same one. It's the brand new latest most compact. That's the one she wants. He can afford it. There's no reason why he can't Case Closed. Where does this come from?
The word here is called nella See that? Third, checkmark, Nicola. Nicola is not just a romantic gift. It's the kind of gift that when she gets it, she's like, Oh, my God, you got this for me.
You actually got the thing that I asked for. That's what's Nana is? If that reaction is not given to you, when the monitor is presented,
take a hit. Right? It's the wrong mouse. Or it's not what she wanted.
Some brothers say No, you know what the prophet alayhi salatu was Salam. You know,
he told some companions that even if they didn't have a murder, they could just teach. And so I'm just gonna ask a look, I'll teach you Cora, that's even more valuable.
We don't even we're not even allowed to make that suggestion.
This is 100%, her control and it says her steering wheel and she decides where she wants to drive the
second point. So the order came
a lot called the monitor here, set up pot. This is the first indication before a marriage happens where you can show your level of commitment and sincerity to the relationship.
Third thing is Allah called this gift Nayla, initially, we said is that she's overjoyed in happiness and contentment that you got her something. However, there is some commentary on the other side, that generally speaking, she should also when she decides on a murder, consider his situation. And if the poor guy is working overtime at Walmart, don't ask him for like, a half a million dollars, right? So consider those things. And then you make a decision from from that point forward. He or she is also allowed to request a service from him. So she doesn't want to gift she can say to him, I want you to cook for one year.
I don't ever want to see my kitchen.
Yeah, I wanna I want you to, you know, shovel the driveway or something like some random thing you can do that. Some people
know, she can stipulate that. She can say to him, You know what, I don't need you to buy me anything I want you to do this for for me, I want you to serve me in a different way, fulfill this chore or task. And this came from a hadith of our Prophet Allah is sort of someone he asked that Sahaba about how much poor and he had memorized. And then he said to her, okay, that he said to him, okay, the poor and that you've memorized that is going to be your mouth.
They extracted from this, that and this is under all them at that hip, that you can actually offer this as a method as well, some kind of service. If you want to go for hedge.
That's usually a pretty popular model these days. I personally, I find that very difficult for an average couple these days. Just why because, you know, to be able to fulfill that circumstance has changed so quickly, every year, there's just no guarantee. Because you have to also stipulate a timeline for that as well take me for how much in tooth but any year before 2020 and if it didn't happen and he still can't do it, then you run into some issues again. So there has to be a beginning and end to this. This all falls under Nayla.
Now, if you continue now with this am but if they give you up willingly, who is they? If the wife here's what's happened now.
This word that's mentioned here is called piping in piping ello comm type in is what you see here the fourth check mark, this is where matching you go out for dinner, right? And he takes you to like a real nice restaurant. And when the bill comes up, he does this. He looks at the bill and say oh my god in alila
Do you mind if I just mix it up before we look at, you know, he like, and then he says and then she looks at him He's like, Oh my god, Is it that bad? He's, he's like, Don't worry, these are tears of joy. I'm just saying Oh, don't worry about it.
That's called play when it's when you're putting on this guilt. You know, whatever it is this the show for a moment to kind of develop for her to feel really sorry, unhappy and be like, you know what? It was your mother to bring me to the most expensive restaurant and you know what, it's okay, just I'll help you with this here. And then she gives him some money that's called Living. That is not allowed. And this area is saying here. She has to do that voluntarily.
So out of her own mercy, she's like, Oh, you miskeen child. Okay, you can't handle the bill. You can't handle a bill. Okay, you know what? and a half of our love our uncle walima and nephew come Darfur right? He quotes in the A that okay? Allah has now recognized the week and you are the week, so I'm going to help you now you know.
So she's out of her own goodwill, she decides, you know, I'll cover half the bill to he's not allowed to do and this here is really, really common.
It's more common than you want to think and even imagine.
This is how specific this one he has introduced this concept, the subject of the mouth. So you're not allowed to put her through any kind of guilt trip so that she could feel sorry for you and reduce the Mahara. That's the point. But flippin is she has to voluntarily out of her own recognize, okay, he's really struggling here. Let me help him out.
Then it continues. And the way the A concludes is, so if they give up willingly to anything of it for kulu, honey, m Marissa, then take it in satisfaction and ease, honey, something that goes down easily, many, the candle between the throat and stomach? In other words, in other words, if she says to you,
how much is the bill? And you look at it's like 300 bucks. She says, Okay, fine.
Here's $10. What does the law say?
Take it, accept it, let it go down easily. Don't ask anything about Thank you. Don't be like, you know, I was looking at your bank account this morning. And
you know, our bank accounts are linked. So 10 bucks. That's it. So you don't get to do that. See how strict This is? You know, the way that I'm talking about this, I've taught marriage in other places before and when I get to this subject and introduce it this way, a kid you know, half the students have no idea what I'm saying. They just they can't imagine that's how the mind works. You mean, he really doesn't have to cage me, and put me in corner me and force this on me. You mean I can actually stipulate a date when this is over, even though I've been married 35 years with him. And he still hasn't paid me my Mohawk.
That's, that's this. This is just the introduction. So putting this now in context.
This actually happened several times, with the messenger, at least to some companions after companions came to him.
And as a matter of fact, when we say companions here, we're talking about the wife's Jada. So Lola, he promised me this didn't give it Jada sutala. He said he would do this, he would buy me this, he would get me this piece of land. He never did. Instead, I got nothing from him. Immediately, there are several narrations throughout the subnet. Imam Ahmed in his Muslim head, has a whole section of these different ahaadeeth. And just explaining that generally, when these women came, the province of settlers response to all of them was always one thing. Let's go and settle this, if you guys are going to have to separate will separate the two of you. Like there was this no nonsense approach
from him. alayhi salatu was Salam. So I hope that when you look at this subject and you look at this verse, you immediately get some perspective of what the mound really is and what it truly represents. It is not a transaction. This is what you want.
Let me get it for you. What's that, Mr. Lake and we never have to talk about that, again, the attitude, you know, the wisdom of this method carries on for the rest of the marriage. Now, there are some side points here. All right, there are some side
issues. So just to summarize a couple of the points that we looked at, right? So it's a mandatory gift from a husband to his wife. So what if you've never agreed with for Emma have lots of marriages are the same? They married ages ago, and no matter was agreed upon. So what do you do that then the Prophet Allah, He slept with some, again, was approached by sahabas, who had this dilemma. And when this was legislated, they were already married. So the Prophet Allah is slept with slim order, of course, you know, to renew their intention, renew their kneecap, etc. But when it came to the matter, if it wasn't agreed upon, because pretty much no one really realized how important it was,
that's one thing, then you can agree on on any time throughout the marriage. But if it was just carelessly left out, if she doesn't talk about it, then I'm not going to talk about it either.
And nobody mentioned that case closed, that's a big problem. That's where the couple now we'll have to stand in front of an Imam, or go to somebody who can judge the situation and come to a conclusion that whether, Okay, you know what, you guys need to make a Maha right now, which most cases that will happen, and then he will be a witness over to ensure that the matter is fulfilled. So you have to keep him now as the so called judge to ensure that this was fulfilled.
What if you get a mother? And that's not the mother You asked for?
Then what do you do then?
So you asked for?
You asked for some money. You said, you know you wanted $5,000.
The only problem is he gave you $5,000 in like West Indian money that's worth like five cents here.
He's like you didn't, he's like you didn't specify the currency.
So here we go.
I've heard it all. You know, as silly as this sounds, law here, I kid you not the same couples, especially Unfortunately, the wives come to our offices in tears because of what's happened with them. You know, they didn't know or they were misinformed. Or they were told this is the way it's gonna have. Are they married back home somewhere? So no one, they had their own culture back there. And so when they learned about all of this, they were really stuck. So what happens in this case, same thing, if you didn't get what you asked for, and it wasn't specified? Well, you know, certain things need to also be done and specified, then the whole agreement is renewed in front of the VM
again, point is there's Do you see there's no way out of this? There's no, there's no, I've never heard of that. too aware. Oh, that didn't happen. Okay, don't worry, there's no mater anymore. It almost never happens. It can be tangible wealth or service commitment, the matter must be paid as soon as possible or based on a mutual agreement.
This is a huge mistake that people make that couples make with their mouth. So if he says, you know, I'll take you to Hajj or I'll take you to the vacation take you somewhere. And that date is not stipulated that's a really important detail and it has to be there. So the mother has to have a beginning and end to it.
Although permissible, stipulating and expensive or hard to achieve mouth is disliked in our DNA. Why do I say that? Our Prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam says as you see in front of you, the marriage would the easiest and Muhammad has the most blessings
again, side of her own discretion should not ever be compelled to do any any of this. So at the end of the day, if she still chooses a high mount, you fulfill it, the politics behind it and culture is something they have to work out on their own right. If no matter was agreed upon pre marriage, depending on the reason it can be agreed upon at any time. So again, depending on what that reason is, then you go from there and the most important thing is is that the model is agreed upon in front of a judge or a an email
Let's move on
young people and money verse number five. That was the introduction of that one theme don't lose it because why it's gonna be brought up again later on in this in this sorta, yeah.
It is allowed
it's voluntarily out of her own. She shouldn't be compelled, or you know, hinted to or guilt trip.
None of those things has to come solely and freely from the goodness of her heart. And, you know, our Dean encourages that as well. You see your husband struggling, you know, just, you try your best because it is your husband, this is not a friend is no, this is somebody that's part of your life. So you do try out of the goodness of your heart to see how you make that easy. And as same thing with the husband as well, right? You live your life with that person in order to you both work together to see whatever struggles you have that you try to support one another through those struggles.
Yes, go ahead. So in the case, where it's not something you actually decided, right, let's say, you know, 10 years ago, it wasn't well known, or whatever your culture, your parents just said it, you don't even know you are two mutually decided after. So it depends like so if the model was never mutually decided, but one was paid. So he says to you, you know, we never really agreed, but actually, when I bought you this, or we did this, or I gave you this, that was actually like my salary or my gift to you. So let's just count that is that the way you get out of that is it has to be done officially. And it should be done in front of any meme where you say to an Imam. Okay,
listen, we never really talked about him. Uh huh. But he did do this for me, or gave me this. And we, I would like this to be counted as the Maha. Or you can say in front of him. He did do all of that. But that's actually not what I want.
Yeah, it's tough. I'm gonna admit it. Nobody, like my parents just put an amount and
yeah, and I would have to research what it was the amount and then discuss it like I've been married 20 years. Yeah, it's like, they don't do that. And even recent marriages, it's when you don't know you don't even know the guy
chosen, me arrange or whatever, like, you know, the circumstances are not that comfortable. And you don't discuss these things.
They should? You know, it's it's unfortunate. I think we can all agree.
Yeah. I mean,
thank God, I'm going for him. Well, so no one no one will find me.
I mean, it's a technicality and
validity of your marriage. So remember, right guys? At the end of the day, right, at the end of the day, this is why you know, these situations do not have a concrete response and answer to them, it varies for almost every marriage and relationship out there. That's why it needs to be sat in front of I mean, we don't have judges, right. So it's needs to be sat in front of a qualified Mmm. And there are several ways to get out of this. And one of those options as well is, let's just all agree that what has been done and that is the Mahara, and he'll write something if he needs to, and says, okay, CASE CLOSED, right? Because you definitely don't want after several years of the marriage, and
especially when more or less that marriage has been a good, happy marriage, that you don't want to disrupt or upset all of that because of this one thing. But you do. However, if you need clarity, you know, you have to have trust in him. Yeah, you can certainly do that in front of, you know, any member I mean, several emails do do that to an extent. So I, by the way, no one come to me because I don't do that. Right.
I'm, I was once upon a time a marriage counselor, but very limited now. Right? So my point is this. At the end of the day,
Allah subhanho wa Taala, in this particular verse, seeks to preserve and protect something that was taken from women for several years. Prior to the surah, which is when it came to wealth and money, they had none of that. Now the rules changed so quickly,
that not only does she she does get inheritance. Now she gets a mandatory gift that she gets to choose what it should be. Can you imagine how the Quraysh and the Muslims are the the the the emotionally keen felt when they heard this? All those tribal leaders and they let God do what was
We have to now give them stuff. This was huge in the in the Muslim culture at that time.
So what you see in front of you, this was a, this was a revolution by itself. But now we're, we're mandated that we have to give them something.
So that's the introduction. It goes deeper and deeper, this surah will literally take that community with all these problems and literally flip it upside down. So this is just the beginning. Then we now hit another subject. So when we're done now okay with women and their rights, and specifically when it came to this issue of the Mahatma, okay, Allah now adds to this wallet to suffer Hi, and welcome. Allah says, and don't give fools your money. sufa Sophie Han, literally is somebody that doesn't that does something and they don't think it through. They're carelessly jumping into a responsibility or an action without thinking things through. That's literally what Sophie is. Steffi
is also somebody that just blurts out, whatever it is that they feel or think so whether it hurts you or insults you or offends you, they don't care. mm shaffir euro Hema hula said I never respond to the Sufi of people. Because he had a problem. Every time he would give a talk, especially when he was in his circle with 1000s of his students that always be this one person here there that would get up and start shouting at him and arguing with him. Right? It happens occasionally, even now, you'll have this one person that just puts on their Superman cape and just comes at the teacher, they might disagree or what have you. If I'm a chef, any little himolla, his approach to this was he
would just remain quiet. Look at the men. Okay, you're done. Okay, okay. When the men finish and he comes on, so it Okay, sit down. And it continues, as if the man wasn't there to begin with. Some of his students asked them, What do you do that? So they never respond to them, because I leave them so that they can live in their stupidity.
Just leave them because if I talk to them, that just feeds it even further. So I leave it on tend to realize that they can get what they want out of me and the mat, then he can deal with it in a more civilized manner. There was even more like contemporary examples like this. The great scholar,
a chef embezzle Rahim Allah, when he was in the Prophet's mosque in the early 90s. Sorry, the early 80s. He was teaching and the same thing, there was this one man that came from South Africa. And he had moved to Medina. And he sat in the ship's circle. And he would constantly stand up and shout at him stand up and shout at him. But only on top of that, he would also insult the shape in front of the 1000s of students. So you're this and you're that you don't know what you're talking about. You think of blah, blah, blah. You know, the chef was blind. So he's when he's speaking, he's just as hard as talking to everyone. Point is, is that years go by and his students are always asking, yeah,
Chef, why don't you stop this? We tried to stop him and you stop us from stopping him. So the chef says, just leave them leave him. Every now and then he would talk to the person and tell him Okay, just relax. Yes, this is what I meant. Bla bla bla bla, eventually, later on, what happened is that same south south african men, he passed away.
And she hasn't been basil rahimullah heard that that same person now has passed away, you know what he did?
He passed away back home in South Africa. Or somewhere nearby, the chef, booked a flight, flew to his janessa and led the jenessa over the men.
And when he asked like, of course, his students asked him why.
And he said, You know, when somebody is in this state, when they pass away, it's Case Closed. Now there are a fair says with Allah, the least I can do for my brothers pray for him.
Like, those kinds of hearts are hard to find.
Right? where people can disagree and still get along. It's almost unheard of in our room.
Just think about so when you look at all of that in context here now, and don't give fools your money.
It's not a very nice word, but it is capturing something about young people. Generally speaking, when young people are irresponsible with money, that's what this is going to talk about. And so a look calls the young and when we're saying young, we're scholars different I mean, mmm Abu hanifa said, Rahim Allah, you are young until you hit two
Five. So when you're below 25, all your money, you're still SFP. That's according to him. Other scholars had different ages, some scholars said, No, it's maturity and above. So you're looking at like 13 to 15. and above. Others said no, the moment that they have been given inheritance, so when these orphans get whatever amount they get, whatever wealth they own, doesn't matter their age, it belongs to them. So whether they use it irresponsibly or not, that's when you can use this a, so there's no age bracket, it's just see how this goes. So scholars differ on what exactly is a young, irresponsible person in this area?
Can I ask you in our culture here? What do you guys think, roughly
that that age would be?
So what do you think, at least where we are? When do you think
young people are irresponsible with wealth, generally speaking?
Yeah. And I would say the same as well. So even probably early teenage years, right. So just put that image in your mind when you were looking at this.
So the young people that have been left in your inheritance, second check mark, given an allowance that is reasonable, but not to squander the wealth of parents. So not all of them will have access to everything. But whatever money they do get. So in context, whatever wealth these orphans do get, then the owner or the protector, his or her job is to ensure that they are reasonable and how they spend this money. So what does that mean? It means that you literally do what is necessary you buy what is necessary. So we used this example before that, okay, if you need a car, don't go buy like a Lexus or something. You buy a simple car, just because they have the wealth. That's not how you use
it. That's a general rule of thumb in anything that we do, especially when it comes to our kids. You know, there was a story A while ago, I heard different, you know, stories very similar to this, of when some parents had bought their kids their first car or their first cell phone and you went in, and they went in, they bought the top of the line everything, only to realize that a few months later, the kid destroyed the phone, or dropped it 100 times cracked the screen did something dented this brand new car. So what happened is that the parent is totally shocked. Like, look, you know, you're not taking this seriously, you're not grateful. I'm gonna buy you one more Lexus, but that's
buys him another car. Or you're gonna get like a hope no one owns a Honda here. But I love Honda's By the way, you're not gonna buy your Honda you're not going to get a Lexus no more. So three months later, he crushes that as well. Bring them now to Muslim Icahn fix my child he's not he's totally ungrateful.
Point is, is that this a is also calling to something here as well. So if you don't give young people that are irresponsible with wealth, what does that mean that young people should eventually start to learn and do learn the value of money? How do young people learn the value of money?
They work for it.
Right? It's one of the worst sentences you can tell young people these days, right, you need to get a job and earn your own money.
And then on top of that, I need to see your paychecks.
And on top of that, you're going to give me your paychecks, and they're going in my account. So when you need money, you come to me, I'm your banker.
So if there are young people in here that have that setup, thank you parents for it.
In all honesty, all jokes aside, this is where this is something that you need. And this is the way that you learn the value of wealth. All right, and sometimes we need to have that control. Wealth can be beautiful, but it could certainly be the biggest Curse of your life. Right? So parents understand that. So when they control that kind of wealth, then certainly you will be very grateful for them one day, and you will see mom, dad, I understand what you did, man, thank you. Now today because I'm working and I'm making good money, I want to give something back to you. And that's how that attitude manifests itself. As the years develop.
Continue the assets that Allah made you
maintain or over so feed them from it. So in other words, it's very wordy, but in other words, Allah subhanho wa Taala with everything that has been given to you, Eliza Jill says, Allah The jaren and pm what is zuku home fee her work su home. So there are two things that you do with this wealth that belongs to these orphans. Number one is
You want to Zoo coven maintain them, feed them, clothe them doing all of this, basically fulfill all of their needs. We've all heard the word risk.
We all heard that word risk, right? And risk is usually translated as well. sustenance provisions is it specified? Never.
So the first responsibility with wealth
is you use it for whatever your basic needs are, in terms of food, medications, and things like that. Why? Because to maintain is different for every family. So the first is very generic. So this maintainer of these orphans has got to now understand the needs of these kits, specifically, okay, this one's allergic to peanuts. This one's got allergies, okay, she's got something else. And he's going to have to know, and he's going to have to seriously sit there and organize rules, money is going to pay for what sounds like a full time job, doesn't it?
It's it's ridiculously, unbelievably complicated. Like you need organization behind this. You know, again, when I say it like that, just think about what you hear what you've always known about how orphans are treated, usually thrown into one big room like this, you get a corner, corner, corner corner, and that's your home. And three times a day, some dude will stand outside, put a piece of plastic on the ground, and just dump the rice.
Like you're feeding cattle, right. And this is just some of the orphans that I've been able to see when I was in like Bangladesh and India and so on. And it was, well lucky, I didn't I never thought in my life, that they were human beings living like that in this world. Like I just I didn't ever imagine that that's how some human beings were being treated, let alone children. So these eight here are strong. Now in context,
the machete Kuhn at that time, before this video was given, is, remember, we said that how they had the habit of stealing wealth, so or they would substitute their own wealth for something better. So okay, you know, they came with more Durham's, or more money, I've got a few, but they'll never know. So take the few exchange, it takes some more, or take some more valuable items from them. So in addition to that, even to maintain, what they would do is they would take a portion of the orphans wealth, and add it to the overall maintenance of themselves, the orphans and their entire family and property, and land and so on. So, it'll look like this, he's got three orphans that he's looking
after they each come with a certain amount of inheritance, he'll take a little bit of each, and he'll also make sure that his roof is done. He'll make sure that he you know, get some animals to harvest and and work in the field somewhere. And then he'll say, yeah, everything that I do here is for them.
So that is also rejected. This clearly is a lie. So Jill says that the wealth is geral Allahu la comme PM, that you need to use this because you are the character taker, you are the one in charge. So you need to be you need to be firm, and you need to uphold the responsibility. What is theirs is theirs. How many times have we said that so far, since this sort of started?
This was about this is a big problem.
Every time you give money to someone else that it doesn't belong to, and you say, Here, take care of this. You always gotta be walking on eggshells, you can't sleep hoping that okay, they'll they'll do the right thing. So that was the first command and then secondly, feed them from it, and close them. So now Allah highlights the second most important thing which was so maintainer over them here specifically, is is highlighting food, and then the second work su home, close them. It was the two things that these children were missing the most. They never had enough food, or they just had one piece of clothing. So Allah said, these are the two things you should focus on the most, and speak
to them in a decent respectful manner.
So have you all seen this word before? maroof my students from the other surah we did my roof as well as suited Baccarat. We went through metal roof
in contexts of children. So in this here, when you're dealing with kids the core and gives you one order alone when it uses metal roof
when it comes to children, how do you use metal roof with children now?
marital life is a universal standard of how you interact with people. But it's different. When you're into when those people are your family, there's a level of marital, when you're dealing with the general public, there's a level of model, that standard doesn't matter if they're here or some other country or culture, you're dealing with them the exact same way. When it comes to children, there's only one way across the board that Allah tells us how to use model for them. Everybody see, how does the verse end
and speak to them
in a decent, respectful manner.
That's a less order not just for orphans. That's a less order of how you talk to young people in general, anywhere in the world. It's amazing.
Every Youth Council and youth program on earth needs to have that as their, you know, stuck on their wall.
All those Institute's that say, you know, or those messages and things like say, you know, we need to focus on the youth, you know, let's just build a gym. Just throw them in there. And then make sure we buy them burgers. So they're happy. Let's bring some guy and then he'll just teach them for a few hours a day. So we're done. We don't we never have to go there and talk to anyone. No, actually, it's a principle. And it came only five sentences after in the surah. After five sentences, Allah says make sure you speak to them. Listen to the AM. What pulu Arabic students? What kulu? One, let him to colon three. And then describe Poland meroofer. For things Allah is saying,
for one action, what color is the order?
Colin wakulla home is an emphasis. So when you're speaking, don't just speak randomly. So if there's like, a few kids in front of you just be like, Okay, everybody, just, you know, you guys are good. We love you. Okay? make it personal. Let him make it come from your heart really to them. Kids. So it goes from Okay, you guys are going to be great kids. So just have fun to Hey, you guys. You guys are my favorite. You know why? Because one day you're going to be here. That's why I'm here. And you start shaking their hands, and you give them treats, and you really take care of it that's left home. So make this this respectful tone and manner that you use make it personal. While kulula home
polen. Allah didn't say a quiet and not the plural polen. singular.
What does that tell you about every word that you utter and say with young people should be?
What does that mean?
When are we allowed to lose that respectful tone with young people?
You're generally speaking, you're not. The rules are changed with parents, by the way. And the reason why I say there's more and makes exceptions for parents.
You know, when it came to parenting, a lot called kids fitna.
That's one of their names on Quora, and why are they more intimate and welcome Ola to consider. Understand that money and wealth fit in one context is talking to parents. Yeah, cuz raising kids, that's a whole different story. When you're raising these children. That's a different Stark parents have the right to lose their cool once in a while. And it's actually the kids that have to swallow that. You don't get to talk back and say, Oh, Mom, you're getting so angry for you don't get to do that. You don't get to say you should never talk to me that way. Those are your parents. So the rules are a bit loose. This is a general rule of thumb and principle across the board, when you're
dealing with young people deal with them in a respectful way. And unless that colon, colon is just one word, so even if it's just one word to Allah, it's something respectful. So you hold on to that. Okay, that's the tone. So my roof, I wrote their major internal bankruptcy in the oma just across the board in general, how we deal with each other.
I said that my roof means a universal standard. So we don't get to call somebody an idiot and say, Hey, I will I don't think that's a bad word.
You don't get to do that. Because why the standard across the board is that you don't call people those names. So you don't get to talk that way to children and you don't get to talk to each other because that's not the standard that people use across the board. It's never considered to be a good thing. Okay. We continue.
Is everybody with me so far?
Does anybody have any
any questions or anything
There are exceptions to rhyme, especially now because of the wealth of orphans is regulated, you know, and it's not something that's just open and free and you get access to it and go do whatever you want. A lot of that I've heard is regulated through a system. So the general rule of thumb again, is that if that particular system
allows some sense of control and preservation for that wealth, so if you do invest, that you will always be guaranteed a particular amount or return, like there has to be a bracket where even if you lose, it's not going to affect your responsibility with that child. That's the most important thing. So it's kind of like yes or no, just depending on what the investment is, and depending on where that child is, and what system they're affiliated with. But generally speaking, without even thinking that far, the answer will always be no, that we are not allowed to do anything with their wealth except to their own interests, right? what's what's
so there, you just reminded me, there is one,
one scenario that I read a long time ago that it was allowed to use this money for anything that is other than providing for those kids, once the child has reached to a point where you can have a conversation with them, and explain to them that, hey, you know, this is yours, but this is what we want to do with it, because this split could happen for you. So keeping that child in the same conversation, more or less, was a condition that some of them have put on it, but to say outright, clearly, yes, you can, or no, you can, is really difficult to do that. And so it would have just kind of come down to, you know, an email or a judge to decide what is best. Allah knows best.
Number six, yeah,
the risk would come because the wealth, it doesn't actually belong to you. That's where the risk is. So this wealth comes under the ownership and title of this kid and their family. That's the only risk. So where you decide to go, even if there is a guaranteed guaranteed return? That's all good. It's just that where does this child, you know, stay in all of this? What is their position in all of this? And this is why I say, it's really hard to say generally, across the board, and that somebody
a scholar already Mmm. And even I would also, you know, encourage, even like an expert, to really sit there and decide what they feel is best at that point, you know, so they would really not just look at the kid alone and look at a lot of other factors of where he or she came from, and what their families and relatives, etc. All of these factors will have to play into decide. Yep.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Sounds familiar. But I don't want to say that.
I would have to I would have to look it up. alone as best I don't know.
It depends on the provider. But the orphans wealth itself, Allah knows best. There's, there's an elf Juana.
Some say yes, some say no. And then some even, you know, decide on those who are in charge.
Let's just take one more verse. This is the longer one actually.
Okay, shall we take one more?
Because when we get to number 6789, around the 10th, you're going to see the verse that will
really break down inheritance very specifically, that's not something that we're going to do here. Because it's not our subject. It's it's an area where scholars have written volumes of material on. So it's a very lengthy discussion and it requires a separate class by itself. So we want to at least finish this this particular theme. And that's a good place for us to pause.
and test the orphans web Italeri attempts in their abilities until they reach marriageable age, love and title we get tema hattah? Either Bella Hoon nikka. Here's a hint.
This is the hint to now of
how you can slowly start to give some of the wealth back to these orphans.
When they get closer and closer to the age or maturity level where they can marry,
then you slowly start giving them so what does Allah say? test them, test the orphans. You know what's amazing? It's the word that allow us to describe this test, doesn't use the teabag doesn't use empty hand. It says empty Latin. Have you heard this word before? What I never knew one nickel.
vishay in mental health, same same verb. That's remarkable to me. Because the same kind of test that is used to describe tragedy and hardship that happens to all of mankind is the same attitude Allah is using when it comes to the wealth of orphans.
What do we get from this?
This is how Allah again, indirectly just through language shows you and I, this is how serious you have to be when you're when you're dealing with somebody else's money
is that you're going to take a portion, it's not specified how much it just says what Talia Tamar. So just test them, take something out of it, test them with just a little bit of responsibility. But your attitude when you do this, whether it be through money or something else, or responsibility you give them, you have to be prepared, that it's going to be a potential disaster, because this is the first time they're exposed to anything like this. See the attitude. So, again, the machico had a problem with this. You know, there's several stories I found, as I was reading through this Tafseer, of mushy Coleman that would hold some of these orphans accountable. If they use this money
wrongfully, or they wasted it on something or there were even some stories of some orphans that lost the coins. They just lost it like a lot of kids do. And as a result, they were beaten by their owners for this. So Allah is saying, go in with the mindset that you will lose everything or whatever it is that you test them with. That's really important because now whatever happens, still have a good heart. And you'll still just okay, don't worry about it. I was prepared for that. Anyway. So Allah says, Love attentively attention until they reach marriageable age. So this area was revealed in the case of third Gibbon referee, or the last line when he passed away he left
behind his his son who was still a child.
His uncle asked the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam, how he should distribute his nephews wealth, and this ad was given. So the point is, is that
what was happening was again, there was a risk that all of the wealth that was left behind, from sabot Ebner robbery of the 11 no one was really there to control when and when and who and how this should be used. So this a is started to give some guidelines which we haven't had yet. Everything that we've been talking about so far was about responsibility care and that sort of thing. Now Allah is going to give us some protocol of what to do. So approach this marriageable age then if you perceive them in sound judgment, release their property to them. Do you see what happened in Ernesto Minh home Russia, fed federal la him and while of them, if they start showing that they can handle
their own wealth, their own money, just give it to them?
Now in contexts, okay, fine. Makes sense.
Generally speaking in life,
is this the right time to do that?
When your your your child is ready for marriage? Is this a good time also to introduce them to the responsibility of wealth and how it's used to maintain themselves and their family, etc?
Where you said no talk why.
Designed to be organized, or at least better, fewer people, you're getting married because it's a lot of responsibilities. You're not only financially supporting yourself, but you're supporting someone else as well. So you know,
So keep in mind, it's marriageable age. So it's just around. So it's not necessarily they're going to get married or the intention is there. But if that ever comes up, they're ready for it. So, yeah, you're absolutely right. So the point is, at the end of the day, again, this is one of those areas that's lost quite a bit in the Muslim world. So many people get involved and marry. And this is a conversation that almost never happens, or just happens in a really weird way. Where, okay, we're just going to talk about saving, or we're just going to have this and what we're gonna do with it, etc, etc. But the whole responsibility factor of it is really tough. And yeah, I totally agree that
marriage is one of the ways that you will have to learn that and it's sometimes really difficult. So the point is, I wrote at the bottom here nikka in this a refers to maturity. So although the same word is used, and we know what it is, in this area, it's not actually referring to marriage itself, it's referring to the maturity stage when you're prepared for marriage. So even though you can marry doesn't necessarily mean you were going to marry. But it's the maturity level again, huge, huge area of discussion, big dilemma in our room.
Then if you perceive them to have sound judgment, no questions asked you release it to them, okay. So, in context that makes sense. Do not consume it excessively. So Allah continues and says, well, that kulu ha, is sought often will be there on a barrel. So two things is sought often excessively be dealt on and quickly, anticipating that they will grow up, get someone give me an example of that.
You give wealth to a mature young student?
How the one excessively there, okay, fine, I make sense.
Quickly and anticipating that they will grow What is this all about?
let's do what we can. Okay, good, good. Anything else you want to add something or, okay. So gradually, okay, responsibly.
And whoever, when acting as a guard is self sufficient.
This is unreal. Self, so he should refrain from taking a feat. So in other words, if the Guardian now is able to sustain himself and and the orphans, then what happens,
it's still theirs Don't touch it. So in other words, if they've been blessed with an enormous amount of wealth, this wealth still belongs to them. But you don't need to access it, although they're mature enough to handle their own cash, you don't need to. So the old the The Guardian will then give money and wealth from their own, you know, pocket if you if you say and, and that money now belongs to them, you give and maintain them. So it's now almost like a real These are your children and you're caring for them now. See the attitude.
And whoever went up to the assessor that should refrain from taking a fee and whoever is poor, let him take according to what is acceptable. Again, so we've already talked about, in other words, take the bare minimum, then when you release their property to them, being witnessed upon them, and sufficient is Allah as the accountant So in other words, if you do do this, you end up giving the wealth to them that ensure that you have witness and things are done correctly. Again, when it comes to money all throughout the poor and whether it's paying for something whether it's taking a loan, or paying off a debt, you name it, everything to do with money in the poor end is never done alone.
There's always witnesses involved. Okay, those of you who did swittel Baccarat with me, you would remember the longest of the entire poor end is devoted to what subject?
The longest sentence of the horror and Allah devoted to not solitons that cat at hedge money. So big deal in Portland.
Last one, last one. Let's take this idea.
Then a look continues
libery giardino CBM mimma Toro calverley den while Accra boon for many specialists
There will be a portion for what both parents left behind. This area is starting to introduce now, how the inheritance is distributed. And this particular area has a context to it as well. Take a look at the first check mark. Now, by the way, before we even do that, do you see why part of the A at the end I wrote in green, I believe this is not in your books, that last sentence there. So, if you check verse number seven,
if you need to write it down, you may need to do that. I have no idea why it's not in there.
So just take a few seconds to do that.
This area was revealed
when a man passed away and left his wife and three daughters.
So two boys, two nephews from the Father side
came and took the inheritance. Look what happened. This was the practice. So this wife and her three daughters left behind the kids, their cousin's two boys came, and literally just took all the property out of their home.
So the two nephews came and took the inheritance left behind and did not share any of it with the mother and her daughters. So they basically permitted themselves to walk into somebody's house, their own family, and just take everything and just be like, yeah, you guys don't deserve any of this. Okay?
Then this mother, she went to the Prophet alayhi salatu was Salam.
Okay, so before we get that, it was said that the women, the women, and the kids back then would receive inheritance only if they demonstrate the following. So here's how, if you are a woman or a child, here's how you you got some inheritance, not a lot, maybe you might just get this like a handful of something. Back then these are the three conditions you needed to have, you had to possess the ability to engage in battle whilst riding on a horse or a camel. So you're not standing on your own two feet, but you're, you're moving at the same time. So in other words, if you can control the animal and control your, your, your engagement with the enemy, then that's one thing. So
you have to you have to demonstrate that.
The second was you had to possess a skill in using a spear
engaged in an individual battle.
So here, you are now with the opposition. So you will have to now demonstrate how you combat by yourself with no help. And then the third was with a sword and retrieve the war booty. So the third one is you do the same combat, only that that time you're using a sword. And then if you take out the enemy, you should be able to go and take all of their weapons and ammunition and everything, you should be able to confiscate all of that. If you were a woman or a child, you had to go through that, I guess, exam.
And if you passed and everybody who watched you said, Okay, you know what? You're a woman, but you're kind of not. So you're good. You're a kid. But no, you're not just any kid. So you're good. It's really awful. It's a disgusting practice.
Right? So that's what that was the process, they put them through then
the woman came to the Prophet, it sort of says this mother of the three daughters. And she told the situation about these two kids that came in what they did. The process seven says leave until I see what has revealed to me given to the women. That's what he told these two boys. So the process of silent when she came in, he called these two boys in front of him. And he said to him, leave meaning leave the wealth that you took from them. Until I see what Allah has revealed to me given to these women. In other words, drop everything you took from that house.
And you can never touch it until this whole a is done.
So in other words, everybody gets their portion. If there's something left, then part of the verse is up to the mom to decide if she wants to give it away or not.
So if there is something there, you don't get to take it either. She gets to decide. That's how the process I sell him got control, and ensured that this practice eventually stopped. By the way,
there are hundreds of stories like this really awful stories, really disgusting practices, that not just the women had to endure, but just the culture itself pre Islam.
And I want to leave you with one statement of automotive milk
clobber the loved one.
And when you read what's in yellow there, when you read stories like that, appreciate what he said, or whatever, the hot dog or the lover and he said,
You can only appreciate Islam, if you studied and learnt what pre Islam was, and what all those generations had to endure, and the practices that they went through, then you will really and truly appreciate the blessing of this Deen.
And that's just, that's just one very random example. There are 1000s of examples like that. And this is just to do with wealth. We're not even talking about marriage, not even talking about slaves, we're not talking about nothing else. So really sets the tone of how incredibly powerful disorder is. It literally came and change the entire Muslim world until yamo piano I love how it's called sorta Nisa. I couldn't think of a better sorta name than sort of denisa. And you know why?
Because it's no secret Alhamdulillah at least these days that how important a woman is to a family, to a community, the impact that she makes in a classroom even
when when, generally speaking, and this is something that happens throughout the Muslim world, as the poor and was being revealed, more and more women started creating and leaving legacies that was unheard of.
You know, recently, I think it was about five years ago or something like that. There was the famous scholar, Moroccan scholar, a woman by the name of Bahia bint Hashim, Rahmatullahi. Earlier, she was one of the top poor and poor and scholars in the world. You know, no one knew she existed, because she lived in a remote area in Morocco. And this journalist from the UK, he was visiting Morocco. And he had heard about there was this famous scholar, she had licensed to teach all the recitations of the Quran, and she had one of the strongest is Ned's, or lenient just to the poor in the Quran, in the world. So he wanted to find who she was on. Everybody was like, Oh, yeah, yeah, she's over
there, took a ride for about three hours in the middle of the desert, and found her living in this mud wall. And when she came out, she was blind. So she's a blind person. And she actually wrote by hand, the entire quarter end in Braille, and it was the first port end for all of Egypt. So it was sent out from Morocco. Egypt, got a copy of it. It was the first Braille Korean and now it was from her. Have you heard these names before?
machete Rashid, Sadhu, vomiting vomity, some of the Imams of the How to pose a fee, Su days. They all read Quran to her.
And they were only given permission to go lead prayer through her.
She lived till I think she was 110
was when she passed away.
You know, just just think about where we were.
And where we are. We still have a long way to go. But my point is this and especially because you know, Mashallah, a lot of us sisters are here. You know, when you put your mind to something, I don't think there is a soul on earth that can really see what impact you can have on this oma. And it's really, we have the book, we have the knowledge here in front of us. It's really up to you to take this torch and see how bright you can make it for yourself, and how it enlightens the rest of this room. You have the ability to do that. And you should by no means take advantage of doing that and contribute however it is that you can. Some of the greatest Hadith that scholars of Hadith on
earth were women.
They preserved most of our Dean, have you ever worked? Have you ever heard of a woman that fabricated a head youth against Professor Selim?
Because it doesn't exist? Never did a woman tell a lie about him
and narrated something about him. So much so that Buhari or him a whole lot narrated 1000s of Hadith that he heard just from women. So it's really really, I don't want you to just look at this as a nother sort of that we journey through I want you to make this very personal. And for us brothers as well. There's a lot here that we're going to, we're going to be listening to that is just important to us as anyone else. So I want you to really make this a personal journey for yourself that perhaps insha Allah how suta Nisa has empowered women back then it continues to do so through all of you today. Business