Life with Children #18 Laying the foundations of Islam as a Family

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Musleh Khan

Channel: Musleh Khan

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Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim al hamdu Lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah. And he often sought out a woman while I can't believe that we're already heading into the final week of Ramadan. And I still remember making a short clip welcoming Ramadan and telling everybody about Ramadan and telling everybody how different it's going to be. But in all honesty, this has probably been the best Ramadan experience in my whole life. A

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lot of you I posted this a few days ago, a lot of you asked, how come What was different about it? Honestly, it was really two things I had never been able to pray Tuttle we consistently for more than 10 years. And it's just because of the work that we do. We're always fundraising, we're traveling, we're all over the city doing something. And so there's just no opportunity, except for like sporadic days in Ramadan where we get to settle down and actually go to our local Masjid and just pray like everyone else, it just doesn't happen. And what's happened even for with me in particular, but it happens to other speakers as well as when you do have that day where you go to a

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Masjid and all you want to do is just pray the guy's name at the mustard, see you there, and then they call you up to either lead us Salah or to give a talk or to do something. So you're always preoccupied and you just never have that time to relax, concentrate and just pray. And this is the first time I've been able to do that. And I have to honestly say it's been one of the most fruitful experiences in my whole life. I don't know, when was the last time I was able to feel that. Secondly,

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for me, in particular, I used this opportunity to review my poor and so I we've been having a full fledged total we in my house every single day. And you don't Mashallah, you know, we're working towards doing a Hutton of the poor as well. But it was great review. For me, I have my father, I have my father who stands beside me, and holds the most happiness had and just correcting me, whenever I make those mistakes, he's correcting me. And it's just simple things like that really had added to just how special and how beautiful and private This experience has been for me. So for those of you who have similar experiences, I really genuinely would like to know and hear from all

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of you like how has your Ramadan been? What have you been doing? What is it hasn't been as special as like what I've experienced? Has it been more? Has it been less? What are some of the struggles, just type anything you want to let me know in the comments how your Ramadan has been so far in isolation, that's the key. Anyhow, with that being said, let's get right to it. Because in about a half hour or so in about 40 minutes, inshallah, I will also go back on live and perform our Juma reminder as we do every week in sha Allah. So today, laying the foundations of Islam for your family. We touched on this very briefly a few weeks ago, I think, early Ramadan, about how to

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introduce Islam, to your children. Now I'm going to take that one step further, and how to lay the foundations of Islam for the entire family. So this is including parents as well. Normally, normally, when we talk about introducing Islam, in the family, we usually restrict that conversation or that focus to just the children. We need to make sure that children are enticed with programs children are learning alphabet, children or have a tutor. But then there's always that one group that's missing. Mom and Dad. Dropping the kids off every Sunday morning to Islamic school is great. So where's your Islamic score? Where's your education? The Prophet alayhi salatu salam told us,

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oh, well, you may use a ruler up to one who young well, piano to solder, the first thing that a slave is asked on the day of judgment about is their prayer, meaning their individual act of worship what you did for yourself. So it's great that you're encouraging your children, you're dropping them off at classes, you're putting them in all the time for youth program. But if you can barely recite sort of Fatiha properly, or you don't have a poor Ed routine, you're not in an adult class somewhere, then what's the point? This is not the methodology that the horror ends in the teach us that we're all in terms of seeking knowledge as a prophet, it starts with Solomon tells us seek

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knowledge from the cradle to the grave, meaning he doesn't just say only for children, it's for all of us. It's a lifelong journey. So it's important that even for the parents listening to this, that you're also as engaged or even more engaged in learning about your deen than your own children. So that way, at least you could be a step ahead when they have questions and needed some guidance. You're able to provide them

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least the basics. So the first step towards introducing and laying the foundations of Islam in the family, as a family is that you focus on the pillars of E men, so the tenants of faith. So the pillars of E men are six. And of course, we know all we should know all of them that you believe in Allah, the prophets and the messengers, the angels, the books that were sent down the puddle, or excuse me, the day of judgment, and then the codon of Allah subhanho wa Taala, the good of it, as well as the bad of it. So all of these pillars of event are important. And we should ensure that when we go through them, that this is how you start to establish a connection with your dean, when

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you know who Allah subhana wa, tada is, when you understand his biography, his names and attributes, when you understand why he exists, and why he has these expectations of you, why he wants you to pray five times a day, like all of these little things that we do daily as a routine, understanding why, you know, the scholars, they teach us that if you know who you are worshiping, if you know who you're submitting to, if you understand the Creator, and who Allah subhanaw taala is and why he needs to be worshipped. Not he wants that not that he needs to worship, but we need to worship him, why that connection has to be established. If you understand those implications, then worship

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becomes more fruitful, becomes sweeter, it's a more pleasant experience. And it becomes a habit like you know that a day is not complete, your life is not complete, unless you pray and you worship each and every day. And the six pillars of amen help us to do that they facilitate that path, they put you on the right course. So that's the first thing as a family that everybody should know. And at least they know the basics of number two is, now remember that we're going to separate this into two phases. So the first phase of how to lay down these foundations is about the learning process, the theory behind how why Islam is the religion that we we are part of and we need to submit ourselves

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to and follow. So just laying on the theory behind this discipline. So the second thing, so we have the tenants of faith. The second thing, of course, my brothers and sisters is tell heed is to establish the oneness of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So in other words, at the end of the day, this is going to be a manifestation of when you study the six pillars of men, it will help develop and strengthen your devotion to the one true creator. That's called toe heat. So heat comes from the word what had what had a means to make something one. So when you make something one, you attribute the oneness of Allah, that is to heat. And Allah subhanho wa Taala orders us. And we this is just

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basics of Islam, basic fundamentals, that everything that we say and we do must always be devoted to his own, to his worship and solely for him. Now, there are other extensions of this conversation. So at least by theory, we know that okay, we follow and we worship one creator, sometimes internally, that's bankrupt. So on the outside, we're praying, we're fasting, we're doing all of these rituals, only for Allah. But from the within, I'm praying because my parents will, you know, will get angry if I don't. So let me just pray and get it over with. I'm praying because well, I have to pray five times a day. So I might as well just get it done. So there's internally, there's a bankruptcy with

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toe heat in the sense that the oneness of Allah, and being having that straightforward connection with him.

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It's not stable. It's not stable. And that's really important to understand. Because why is heat so important? So heat is important, because it's the number one criteria to have all of our acts of worship, all of our efforts accepted by Allah, gender, Juana. And so this is one of the first things the basic fundamental, so talk to your kids and educate one another. And especially for the older children. If you guys attend a course, right, you tend to weekend seminar, and you learn about the fundamentals of faith until he'd go back home and share some of that stuff with your parents. I mean, if they're not able to be there with you, which most of the times they're not, then at least

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go back there and talk to them about some of these things, engage in some conversation, ask a throw up particular misafirler scenarios and just stimulate some some reflection and some thought so that everybody can kind of learn something and they can start thinking and reflecting just how important it is at the end of the day. Last thing I'll say about this and move on, is that the toe heat is also

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Something that's practiced in everything that we do in our lives. It's not just restricted to worship or rituals. So you have to heed when you're at the grocery store, when you're shopping, when you're playing. When you're having fun when you're in school, when you're in work, don't hate to heat all the way how, because you devote all of that effort for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala you play, because you want to keep yourself healthy and happy. You enjoy it, it's fun, but you don't play seven hours a day and just miss Salah every now and then which you play because it's part of the sadhana as well. The Prophet, it starts with some his companions, they love to play, they would

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wrestle, they would race, they would just sit down, they would socialize. So they had some social time with each other. So you do it with those intentions, but you have fun in the process. All of that is the profit it is not to sell, I'm used to let kids play as well. He didn't used to bombard them with a slam and pray when they were like six years old or five years old, he would give them time to just be children, let them play. And sometimes he saw the love it was some would be playing with the kids as well. So those little things also ensure that you practice and you implement your devotion to the one creator, and even in just daily routine things. Third point,

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creating a relationship with your Creator. The third point is to create a relationship with a lump. And for this

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there are many things in the poor Ensign that help us to do that. And I'm just going to mention really one thing how to create a strong bond and relationship with a lagenda. Lorena is to protect the instructions that Allah has given you. So you protect the boundaries that Allah blessed, blessed you with. So in other words, unless said don't eat pork, a lesson don't consume alcohol. Allah said stay away from desires, etc, etc, etc. and stay away from desires. It's not a good way of explaining that. But control desires. We can't stay away from desires. It's embedded in us it's our natures but at least practice sense of control and discipline when it comes to that. This was actually the words

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of our Prophet alayhi salatu salam. And it was a hadith narrated by ignore our best and little deal love it humans authentic hadith narrated in a Timothy I wrote it down here. So some of the things that prophets have said them says that in order for us to protect that relationship with Allah and strengthen that bond, is of course protect his rules and regulations that he set forth for you and Allah will protect you in return. So you take his instruction seriously, then Allah subhanho wa Taala will do the same in return. Also to if you ask Allah subhanho wa Taala ask Allah for help assistance, ask Allah subhana wa Allah to bless you with certainty, as Allah that He gathered this,

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together, that they will benefit one another. ask Allah subhana wa Taala that what is about to harm you that to protect you from them, ask Allah to steer you on the same path. All of these things are mentioned in this beautiful narration. And so at the end of the day,

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excuse me.

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Just ask Allah for anything and everything, keep that connection between you and your Creator, by depending on him. You know, one thing that's really amazing when when we worship our Creator is that Elon never gets weary and never gets tired that we depend on him. And we constantly turn to Him. And we constantly ask him for things. So that's really important in terms of creating a relationship with a legend or that one last thing, and then we'll move on to the second phase, which is teaching your children por en.

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So that's obvious. We teach our children to read, but to what do we need to focus on is how we do that. And going on YouTube is not an effective way of teaching important. It helps. It's a good start. It's not effective. Why? Because for me, it needs a teacher in the sense, it needs the discipline of holding almost half sitting down, whether it be on the floor at a table, whatever. And you're engaged with just that book, when you're staring at a screen, the risk of not hearing the audio interruption, the technical issues that could potentially be there is something that is very distracting and frustrating as well, depending on how often that happens. Then secondly, especially

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if you go on like YouTube and other websites where you're just trying to download a video and just practice it. Then you have those advertisements that run and they're distracting as well. So here we are, you're trying to focus on an area. But then all of a sudden, these advertisements and these commercials start popping up. YouTube has you know, part of their algorithms is that when you're watching a long video, after 10 minutes, it's interrupted with commercials. And that even happens with tie faith programs and memorization videos. Same thing goes on and there's no telling what those interruptions are going to be talking about.

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You know, it could be selling you a car, oh, we sell you a whole lot more. And the point is, is that steers your concentration away. Turn off that stuff. I'm not saying that it's wrong. I'm not saying that it's wrong. I'm just saying that that experience of sitting down with a must have there is nothing that is in comparison to that nothing will teach you and give you that flavor of sitting down, you perform your will do you sit down, and you start flipping the pages and your eyes is just your heart is only focused on that book, no other distractions. That's how you learn. And I argue that that is the way to respect the book. That is the way that when you're trying to get this

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knowledge in you this is the way that Allah blesses it with you is that Allah blesses that knowledge in you when you concentrate and commit yourself to that book in that book alone. So one way that you do this as a family is you have had a hard time, have had time, as a family, everybody after a solo or one hour a day, we all go and we get our must haves, we sit down and everybody is just reading and memorizing and reciting so important. So that's really important for and keeps you stable. That's the most important thing about why you want this discipline as a family. So remember, we're not just talking about kids, we're talking about everybody in the family. When you're reading a core

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and it keeps you stable. It keeps your Airmen stable, it keeps everything under control. When Allah says he'll preserve and protect the poor and some scholars interpreted that a little hedger in unison Vica. When Allah says we're waiting Allah who will help you though we sent down the remotes, we're going to protect it. Some scholars believe that, that A is not just the protection of the poor end itself, but the protection of the message and the knowledge of the poor and in our hearts and in our chests. So when Allah says I'm going to preserve it, sure somebody can burn the poor and and destroy the actual booklet that must have itself. But Allah will protect the memorization of the

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Quran, in all of our hearts, and now our chest, those who memorized it, of course. So it's a really great honor to do them. The second phase when it comes to laying the foundations of Islam in the as a family is the practicality aspect of it. So this is where now we start praying together as a family. We start teaching each other especially young children how to perform the will do you start making those little signs, you start becoming creative of how to put all of this stuff together. So what is the first stage? First stage always is to focus on the theory. And this could happen at any age. If you started late, you missed out on those young years with your kids to teaching them this

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stuff. Now your kids are teenagers. It's never too late. There is no age limit when it comes to learning our Deen. So whether you're 510 5090 years old, you know there were stories of chef embezzled or Hema lump, that he was reading to a chef days before he died days before chef embezzler him a whole lot died, and some kind of light, you know, at a man at his age and his status. There are stories of his students seeing him reading two different shields, and days later, he passes away, which was which showed very clearly that he was seeking knowledge and learning and improving himself until the date that he died, he never stopped. And that's the methodology of scholars that

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we want to follow as well. So when it comes to practicing all of that, start off with the prayer first and foremost, because the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam tells us that if that is good, everything else is going to be good. So why not start off with what is good to start off with the prayer, establish that as a family, nobody should be like stuck in their room, one person is here, one person is there. And then half of the families pray that should never happen. Secondly, building a attachment to the masjid as well. incredibly, incredibly important. So that way we can appreciate that when the struggle becomes real at home to pray. Because home at the end of the day is where we

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it's called baiting because that's where we go and we sleep. So we kind of take off all of the layers of professionalism, and trying to just be a certain way when we're out of our home, all of those layers come off and you can kind of just relax and be yourself. So sometimes what accompanies that is a lot of lazy laziness, like you're so tired or your day was crazy, doing whatever. And now you just want to come home and relax. So one way to kind of find that balance is that okay, fine. If you want to be at home where you can just relax because you do so much during the day, then at least at some point, you've got to be connected to the masjid, or all the kids and especially the parents,

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you should be able to reach in the masjid at least twice to three times a week, for whatever, whether it be for jumar for a class or for a sauna, you must at least average be at a Masjid at least two to three times every single week. And you'll notice that alone will facilitate that as you continue to do

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consistently, you'll be able to do that a little bit more inshallah, in terms of all of the other rituals, the fasting, the Hajj and all of those other things. Again, it's the practicality aspects, I'm going to leave that to you guys to decide how you do that. So this is a very brief video guys of just a part one of laying those foundations, we're not done yet. We're going to be talking about a lot of other things. I'm going to be talking to you about homeschooling versus sending your kids out there. I'm going to talk to you about Islamic schools versus secular schools, which what's the choice that you should make? I'm going to talk to you about where's the starting point, if you're,

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if your kids come home, they take an anthropology class in college or university, they have questions about the purpose of life, they have questions about why do I exist? Is there really a god? Is it a figment of my imagination, lahia even heard a student, a Muslim Student, took a course in university came home to his parents A few days later, as he's learning stuff. And he asked his parents is like, my professor told us today that God, the concept of God is just an imagination. It's a fantasy, it doesn't really exist. The people just go with it. Is that true? And the parents didn't when they kept saying no, Allah is real, he's there, etc. The kid asked the simple question

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that the parents were literally just, you know, dumbfounded and confused and couldn't figure out a way to respond. And he asked them was like, Well, how do I know? Can I talk to him? Can I see him?

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Is there any way to just like, prove, okay, like, you're actually there, I'll worship him. But I just want to know for sure that he's not just a part of my imagination. And you know, they tried their best they started talking about miracles and different things. And then all of this is signs of Allah. Kid wasn't convinced. And now literally just sitting there questioning whether Islam and Allah is real or not. So that's what this is going to be all about. So we're going to talk about all that I'm going to talk to you about exactly how to deal with the confusions that young adults in college and university students come home with and how you can sort of gauge some of those

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conversations and navigate through some of that confusion. Okay, guys, so stay tuned for that. That is something that we'll probably do not tomorrow, but the day after, inshallah, we're coming close to the end we're in the final stretch, there's only one week left to do this. And in sha Allah, I've got a lot of wonderful things that will help us to continue with this topic even post Ramadan inshallah. So with that being said, Guys, I'm going to leave it to you with with this, I hope and I pray that in shot lobby Toronto that you continue to watch this as a family and continue to benefit from it the best way possible inshallah, in about 15 minutes, okay, in about 15 minutes, I'm going

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to come back live and do the joumana reminder in sha Allah. So I have a fantastic topic and shall love for everybody. So if you haven't prayed your Juma or you haven't prayed, select the Lord, I should say. Then gather your family. You have about 15 minutes, gather your family in front of the screen and join me as I give you a short reminder in shelter. Tara, for those of you who have already finished your job or you are more than welcome to tune in as well. So 15 minutes in sha Allah, just join us you can simply listen to a reminder and I hope and pray that in sha Allah it will be beneficial to me and all of you. So I'll see you guys in 15 minutes Bismillahi tala St.

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eastern standard time in sha Allah. Take care, guys cenomar you can watch me to light you