Muhammad West – The Women Around the Messenger SAW – Episode 25

Muhammad West
AI: Summary © The hosts of radio show discuss the importance of finding a partner in a relationship, citing the success of finding a partner in a relationship. They also discuss the causes of the Sahaba pandemic, including the loss of multiple wives and pressure on men to "has no". The segment touches on the difficulty of communicating with two individuals who lost everything and lost their beauty, leading them to lose everything to the world.
AI: Transcript ©
00:00:04 --> 00:00:45

De La Habra alameen wa salatu salam ala Sayidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi mehreen My beloved brothers and sisters in Islam and salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Jacqueline Hale, thank you so much for joining us this episode 25 of our series, the blizzard women around the messenger sallallahu sallam, and we give sugar to Allah subhanaw taala for allowing us to continue the series so long. And we ask Allah Subhana Allah to grant us the ability to continue and may be of benefit and blessing to those who receive it. We thank you for your comments. And thank you for the support that you have given well, hamdulillah before we begin, just a quick announcement, reminder that the

00:00:45 --> 00:01:21

Sunday the Sunday inshallah, we will be having our marriage class in preparation for those who are about to get married, or those who are single, and are looking to get married, what to look for in a spouse, those who are about to get married, what are the rights responsibilities, the duties, what are the pitfalls with regards to marriage, and those who are already married. For all of us, there are things to be learned in terms of making the most out of marriage, we'll learn from the prophetic sooner. salasar Learn how to be the best husband how to be the best wife. And we will also discuss the very important issue with regards to divorce, how to enter marriage, and sometimes this is part

00:01:21 --> 00:02:02

of the discussion that we forget. So anyone who is keen to attend and join us on this Sunday, the fourth of November, please send me an email with [email protected] or respond to this WhatsApp line. And you will ensure a level of interest to you for the course myself and Modena. Shaquille will be presenting this course. So we hope to see you they you know, a very interesting course the closer than the government our marriage class in sha Allah. Last episode, we began our discussion on our mother. I'm Sarah. I'm Sarah rhodiola, and the mother of selama. And the real name being Hindi, of course, that is the name and we see the how she was a mother having four children, her husband

00:02:02 --> 00:02:41

had just died. And she had a very intimate bond with her husband abou Salama, and after he was injured and died at the Battle offered in the Battle of hood. And she made this to our law. He would be for the calamity, this affliction this test that you've put me in Yeah, it would mean for it to my patience and replace with that which I've lost with something better. And of course Allah subhanho wa Taala replaced Abu Salah with a bitter husband, that being prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Now the question arises, people have mentioned this, that in the story from Santa Monica to Abu Salah as he was dying, let us both agree and promise that we will never remarry, so

00:02:41 --> 00:03:20

that we can be together in general. What happens for someone that had multiple spouses? Maybe the wife it like in Santa Monica, she had of course, a two husbands she met me She married the Prophet sallallahu sallam, who would she be with in Jenna? And similarly with her husband? The standard opinion here is that you would be with the final spouse that you are with the final sauce that you're married, you will be inshallah, that spouse but of course you remember, Jenna, Jenna is something that you will only receive what you want vanilla, I received a message a few isolated members a few months ago, a sister saying that? Is it really true that you receive that you will

00:03:20 --> 00:03:59

still be married with your partner, if both of you go to Jana? And I said yes. And the sister said, you know, I'm not really keen on that in the dunya. I'm not so happy. I just do my duties as a wife, but I stick around with him. But I'm looking forward basically to be separated from him when he gets to the after I want someone else. Now, never ever assume that you'll be disappointed in general, you will ever you end up with engender, it will be the best for you. It will be exactly what you want. And the prophets of Salaam tells us in the Hadith that no one will be single in gender. So if you you know we're not married in the dunya Oh, you don't you didn't have a partner in the dunya. In

00:03:59 --> 00:04:36

general, you will find yourself with a partner. So we might think Abu Salah he loved himself so much. Of course Osama is whoever is the wife of the prophets that I'm the dunya she'll be his wife in the agenda. So poor Abu Salah is only going to be with the woman he wants. No Allah subhanho wa Taala will give him that which he wants give him something which is better for him. And SubhanAllah. When we talk about the issues of gender, someone might say, you know, I will be given a spouse, if I'm in the lower level of gender, I give us I get a certain spouse that of course when I see the wives or the husbands of those in the higher levels of gender, would I not become envious we are not

00:04:36 --> 00:04:59

feel jealousy, I would not desire this man's hold or that woman's husband, whatever it might be. No, the partner that you have, when you look at that partner, this will be the most beautiful person for you. In general, there'll be no person more beautiful, no person more desirable than the partner that you have in general in your eyes. That will be the basis there'll be nothing better and

00:05:00 --> 00:05:35

As we sit, you know, one of the descriptions of gender shift, but it's so wonderfully, he said, what makes gender so wonderful. It's not just that it's the best, when you get the you will have the most amazing of food, the most amazing of husbands of wives, whatever it might be, what makes gender really amazing is that every day, that thing just gets better. So when you get to Jenna, you'll take an apple, and you will taste it and it will taste like the most amazing thing you've ever experienced. When you take the second bite, it will taste even better, and the third bite will be even better, and so on until the end of time. So your wife, your husband, when you look at her, you

00:05:35 --> 00:06:15

will just be totally dumbfounded. You'll be completely speechless. You've never seen something so beautiful. And you ask Who are you and your wife will say it's me Kasha, I'm your wife, and you will can't believe this is my wife. And then you look away. And when you look a second time, she's become even more beautiful, more desirable. And this continues for eternity. Allah bless us all to find ourselves in gender to have. We do the work on the dunya. And we struggle through our marriages in the dunya. So that when we get to gender, we experience that endless honeymoon. Meanwhile, hamdulillah so back to home cinema, we see that after husband had died, she received multiple

00:06:15 --> 00:06:55

proposals. And she turned them all down even the processes Helen proposed to her she wasn't so keen to begin with. But she accepted offer the officer spoke to her and said that I will be the father for your kids. I'm older than you and I make to Allah subhanho wa Taala assist you in this jealousy that you have because he obviously had multiple wives. So by now we should have a nice list in terms of the wives of the problem. We had Khadija who passed away. We had soda who's still with him. We have Ayesha, who is still with him with haapsalu still with him. Then we had Xena been hoceima, who had passed away and now Salama joins his household. So the problem has these four wives. And we see

00:06:55 --> 00:07:36

that in Santa Maria della Anna, she was a very mature in terms of her personality extremely mature, extremely highly regarded in terms of a society that the Sahaba even before Islam, the community looked at as a woman of intelligence of a woman that was very senior and diplomatic and they would consult with her regularly. She was very strong, confident woman. And again, I say this when you look at the personality of Khadija, you look at the personality of Ayesha of hafsa of Salama. When we get to Zainab interjection, for example, you will see that the prophet SAW Selim was surrounded by very, very strong, confident, articulate women, women that had their own opinion and they didn't

00:07:36 --> 00:08:16

mind challenging others, even the prophets of Salaam, they would ask him questions, they would say, we disagree with you. And that just shows you again, that to be a pious, good Muslim woman does not mean you have to be silent does not mean you have to be completely submissive, or you shouldn't have a personality or an opinion of your own. That has nothing to do with piety and modesty, you can have the highest level of modesty and still have an opinion have your own personality Alhamdulillah. So cinema was a she had this kind of position, and therefore you'd find that she would be a peacemaker, she would be the one that would resolve conflict, she popped up earlier. If you remember, when I say

00:08:16 --> 00:08:53

nominal, the Alon thought that the wives of the professor lamb were not talking to him appropriately, when he found out that hafsa would argue with Professor lamb that she would upset him. And he found this shocking even knew that this was how they spoke to him. So he went first to have saw then he went to Salama, because he felt he could talk to her. And also she was kind of a cousin of his, and we spoke to her. And then she basically said to say, normal, look, mind your own business. This is a matter between husbands, the husband and wife, we are his wives, and how we speak to our husband, it's got nothing to do with you. He the problem hasn't raised this issue. So

00:08:53 --> 00:09:33

please Just mind your business. And again to speak to a number in that regard, shows you that Subhana Allah how how strong she was as a person. So we set them out of the law and her she joins the household, and Aisha says that often cinema joined the household, we found that there were basically two camps or two factions. the wives of the professor will take sides, they would be the side of Ayesha, she would be the ringleader, if you will, if you will have the one gang of lives. And then you had the other lives who would be really following Salah she was in charge of them and it was sort of this tense or strained relationship between them. So on either side I show is very

00:09:33 --> 00:09:59

close with hafsa and soda and you found Oussama to be very close with Xena bt jash and Habiba Rama, I will speak about them. So these are these strong women, and they will move on set them aside and sometimes there was this tension between Ayesha and Salama rhodiola Anna. So one of the accounts that we have is that the prophets are salaams wives and this is later on in in later

00:10:00 --> 00:10:38

In terms of when the problem would have more than these four, as he had multiple lives, and at the time when the Sahaba began receiving benefits to the Sahaba became the oma became stronger this how became wealthy in the process of himself never ever took from this wealth. So, the wives of the Prophet SAW Selim saw that all the other women of the community began to increase the standard of living, yet the lives of the person number remained on that level, because he himself solace in them, never increased his own standard of living, and he only took the bare minimum for him and his family. And the Sahaba would, you know, as a gesture of love, they would bring him gifts. Now the

00:10:38 --> 00:11:14

prophets of Salaam never was allowed to take the soccer, no matter how difficult his life was, he never even took the soccer charity, he does not take charity, him and his family did not take charity. But if you give him a gift, when he accepts a gift, so the Sahaba they had a habit, of course, you know, out of the love for the enemy's asylum, they would bring gifts to him. And they would wait though, for the night of Russia. So the prophecies are, as I said, he would visit all his wives every day, he would visit you pop in you check on them, see how they were ahead of you know, have a conversation, you know, make them laugh or something. And then he would have perhaps supper

00:11:14 --> 00:11:52

with all of them together. And then he would spend the night with one of them. And then tomorrow, it's someone else's done. So it would be cinema tonight and tomorrow is hafsa. And the night off is Ayesha, and so on and so forth. So the Sahaba they basically keep track of when which night you would be with which wife and when he was with Ayesha, they had a habit of giving gifts when he was with eyeshadow, the olana not any fault of Ayesha, not any fault of the prophets of Salaam. It was just something from this habit that they felt that when he was with Ayesha, they would give the gifts to him and the other wives and actually became upset about this. And so they got together in a

00:11:52 --> 00:12:29

group and they said this is not right. That every time a gift is given maybe some you know food is given or some kind of ornament, anything money is given. Then it goes to Ayesha's house and she gets to benefit the rest of us. We don't get to benefit our households never receive these gifts. So someone needs to tell the prophets of Salaam that he needs to make a sermon, he basically needs to go and tell the Sahaba guys when you give gifts, give to me on every night, not just I shared the night. Of course, this is not something appropriate for a person to say to the wives and we need to pressurize him to do this. They got together and they said, well, who's going to speak to him and

00:12:29 --> 00:13:11

naturally they elected Salama, you're the most senior of us, you go and speak to him. So and again, we see how Salama addresses an issue. Versus Ayesha was very fiery. And when she says something she is she's in a mood, she will say what she feels Zainab injection we'll talk about she's also like the Oussama a lot more diplomatic, a lot more refined, a lot more common in the way she addresses these kind of issues. So cinema waits for the professor to come to her. it's her turn, they have a meal. He's relaxed, and then she says to him, so the law says a lamp, your wives want you to be fair in terms of this issue of the presence, you should be feed between us. And with the daughter of

00:13:11 --> 00:13:49

Salem Walker, meaning Ayesha, the Prophet Solomon looked at her and he turned away he didn't respond. He didn't say anything. Side note. The profitsystem understands her concern. He understands how this makes them feel. But he doesn't have an answer for her that would that would really satisfy her. He cannot go out and say, Look, all of you Sahaba, you need to give gifts equally, this is not something appropriate for him to say. So the problem is I can't give her an answer. So he just remains quiet. And she understands from him when he when he keeps quiet. That this was in a way that he say no, I don't agree with you. And I'm not going to argue about this. So she left the method she

00:13:49 --> 00:14:28

didn't pursue and persist. She hosted the lives they said no, no, no, try again. Okay, next week, it's her turn again the person comes she against his to him he also will also send them your wives have asked me basically to speak to you about this matter. Can you be thinking in terms of the spacings between us and and Ayesha? So the Prophet says again, he looked away from her and she left the meta. The next goes back to the wives the wives say no, no, no, try another time. So she does this a third time and the professor sort of now responds and he says to her own Salama, don't harm me by harming I should Don't be sick put an issue between me and I should you know this is not her

00:14:28 --> 00:14:59

fault, not my fault. So don't harm me with regards to Ayesha and also Easterling take this basically into account that Allah Himself only gives me revelation in her house. I've never ever received revelation in any of the other words the other wives when I'm with her God will comes and gives me revelation. So in other words, if you're upset that the people give gifts in our house in look, Allah Himself since then, why in a house, this also and I said this before, that we might sometimes feel that the prophets of Salaam love

00:15:00 --> 00:15:39

Ayesha more than the other wives, or that there was an, he favored her. And it's easy to say, well, because she was the youngest, she was the only virgin wife, all the wives by now you could see for the jesolo to have some cinema Xena, because they were all married before I show is the only virgin wife that he married. So immediately our minds jumped to that. It's not because of that. The reason why she had this special place in your heart was because Allah subhanho wa Taala loved her so much. And Allah had given her given why in our house and in fact that revealed is about her like If so, when he said these words, immediately on Salama, and it shows you how maturity shouldn't argue she

00:15:39 --> 00:16:15

can get upset. She says, I seek refuge from Allah, I seek protection to do anything that upsets you. I don't want to upset you your rasulillah. And lets the you know, I won't discuss this matter again. She tells the wife Look, I spoken to him. This is what he said. Don't ask me again. I don't want to discuss this matter. The wife says we're not happy with this answer. So now they go to Fatima Fatima who's Fatima. She is the daughter of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam his youngest daughter, we could imagine sort of the apple of his eye, you know, the youngest of his children. And in reality, so Pamela, she would be the only child of his that is alive. During his life. All these kids, all the

00:16:15 --> 00:16:52

children that was passed away, only Fatima survived. So she of course, had a very special bond with a father he's only loving child basically, Ayesha would say that if when I looked at Fatima walking, she is no one that resembled the prophets of Allah more in her manners in the way she's spoken the way she talks more than Fatima she resembled her dad the most. And just a side note, you thought it might have been when he came to the house to visit the pasta lamp, he would get up from his seat and he would put her down in his chair, not a charity, but in his spot on his cushion. And I mean, the problem is in his 60s, and she's in her 30s, but he wanted her like this, you know, he treated her

00:16:52 --> 00:17:32

like a little girl, even though she's a big woman, and she had children of her own. So they go to Fatima, the wives. These are basically the mother in law, the stick moms, if you will. And they push an ISO, they said, Look, we need to speak to your father. We can't speak to him the way you can go and tell him that he needs to be free in this matter. So far, the amount of Yolanda agrees and she says I should tell her so this whole idea is explained to us. She says Fatima comes into my house I'm with the prophets of Allah, we are sitting together, maybe, you know, we are together under one blanket. And Fatima comes in and the problem gave her permission to enter. So the Fatima says, oh,

00:17:32 --> 00:18:15

Allah's Messenger. vilia wives have seen me to you in order to ask you to observe equality in the case of the daughter of kochava, meaning the father of Ayesha, I want the wives are saying that you need to keep beefy between them. Now I say certainly she's not basically Fatima isn't acknowledging I she's talking to the seller about Ayesha and I certainly. And I just I just keep quiet. I didn't say anything. So the profits are seldom Look at his response. He says, Oh, my daughter, don't you love whom I love. So she says yes, whatever you love, I love. So then the process on Fatima I love this one this I show you I love her very much. So then Fatima immediately, and that's all he needs

00:18:15 --> 00:18:51

to say. And immediately she stood up, she went and she told the wives, look, this is what the professor said. And don't ask me this visit, go and go, go ask him again. And she will lie. I will never go speaking about this matter. You sort it out yourself. The wives are still not happy. So then one of them stood up Zane. I've been rejected. We haven't gotten to her. And she's a firecracker. And she says, Well, I myself will then go and speak to him. So we'll talk about that this is to be continued back to him Salama on Santa Marta de la. She was, as we said, educated and therefore she had memorized the brand. She had narrated the most Heidi so I should have the Ayesha

00:18:51 --> 00:19:28

she had narrated the most had Ethan she was a teacher. And some of the interesting moments that we have and we find from her. So she mentioned the Hadith where she says I was laying next to the prophets of Allah under one blankets, who were cuddling together. And again, the professor was this affectionate person with all these wives, not just Ayesha. And she says, as she was lying in his arms and close to him, she felt that her menstruation and began a means that began. So she got out of bed. And the professor realized and he said to her, basically, is it have you left because you're you have your menses. So she said, Yes. So the process is, don't worry, this is what Allah had given

00:19:28 --> 00:20:00

and plead for the daughters of it. This is a natural thing, nothing wrong, nothing dirty about it, nothing bad about it. So she basically put on some kind of government sort of service. And then he told to come live with me back under the blankets and he basically cuddled with again, at a time and Subhanallah you find in many religions, even in the religious scriptures, like in the Jewish faith, that if a woman were to be in a main says you can't touch her, in fact, she needs to be at a separate place in the house because everything she has

00:20:00 --> 00:20:40

touches becomes contaminated. The professor is teaching us something very different. He says, that is something that happens to all women, nothing to be shy about nothing to be ashamed about. And in fact, Come here and sit next to me. We see that Professor lamb regarded Osama, as an In fact, as a confidant as an advisor, and he being Rasulullah. I mean, he's the man that a law speaks to and gives away yet he It was his policy to sooner to have Matura basically, to discuss matters with others. And one incident that he took the opinion of his wife, Salah, the Sahaba, they were under a rock so they left Medina they came to Makkah formula and they got stopped, they were unable to form

00:20:41 --> 00:21:18

and they were told to go back to Medina without performing over another Iran and if the rulings of hijama is that you cannot exit your home without completing the oma and if you do so it's you know, it's you need to do a penalty. It's a bad thing. So the problem is, is that I'm sitting let's have a look guys, we're not going to perform around we need to go so exit you can shave your head off, slaughter your animals, we're not going to do them, right. It's go home, and no one wants you to do it because they felt it was sinful. It's a bad thing. How can I break my arm? And he insisted three times do it do it and no one obeyed. So the prophets Allah was a bit frustrated, upset, and he comes

00:21:18 --> 00:21:57

to his house or to his house, and she sees that he's upset. So she asked him, you know, what's what's wrong? And he explained to her look, none of them are breaking the home. So she said, Yasser Allah, if you want him to break the column, then don't ask them. Why did you go out without saying a word? And you tell you Baba shaved my head, and you slow to your animal. And when you do that, just watch everyone's gonna follow your example. And exactly, he took her advice. And the rest of us haba followed suit and shows you her her wisdom and her maturity and the fact that he trusted her with these kinds of decisions. sentimental delana, she only stayed six years with a professor many so as

00:21:57 --> 00:22:35

his wife, yet she would love more than 50 years after that. And in fact, she is the last of the wives to pass away. She She lived the longest in terms of she passed away the latest of all of them. And she was a very prominent figure, some of the wives of the professor max soda became very reclusive and quiet and just stayed in our house, whereas Sonoma would be vocal, and she would be part of the Muslim leadership. She openly disagreed with Ayesha in the days of fitna, where I shall we say, at least an army on Salama was very vocal against that yet on his deathbed, you know, as I said earlier on was passing away, she made a special point to call on Salama, and she said to him,

00:22:35 --> 00:23:15

Salama, look, the two of us we had, we had our moments, and we sometimes upset one another, please pardon me, give me as we say, in Cape Town, give me my rough Pardon me. And Sam, of course, this is nothing to pardon. What happens this is just between co wives. And you know, there was this mutual love and respect for one another, and Salama at the ripe old age of 84, she would pass away, there'll be a lot of the great honors and privileges that she had. Other than Ayesha, it was in our house that some verses as the Prophet said, no other wife would, God wouldn't come to the house of any other wife to give revelation. Yet he did visit on very few occasions, maybe three occasions, he

00:23:15 --> 00:23:54

visited the house of Allah, and he gave the revelation to the Prophet Allah. And in one of those special cases, Salah actually asked him who was that manual talking to the Prophet, so I was quite surprised. And he said to her, did you see him because that's your video, and it's very seldom that the Sahaba were allowed to see the video. And again, it shows you the honor and the status that she had. So she was also she passed away at four years old, and she's buried in a cemetery in Medina. rhodiola and homogenized Dracula Hey, I hope to see all of you this Sunday at our marriage class at bronto. Islam bronto house in the blue cup, fourth of November, all about marriage, Zach Lafayette

00:23:54 --> 00:23:56

assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato wabarakatuh.

Share Page

Related Episodes