Cabin Fever Getting to You Day 5 6 (I Dunno) of #Socialdistancing How to Put Out the Fire of An
Channel: Muhammad Alshareef
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As Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. I just have to do this. Good Morning, Vietnam.
This is your host, Muhammad Sharif broadcasting during these exceptionally special times, sending love and peace to all our brothers and sisters around the world. Tonight's topic is going to be anger at home, how to extinguish the fire of anger when you are in isolation with your husband or your spouse, or your your wife.
Or those kids running around making you crazy. Or your mother or your in laws. Oh, my God, if you have in laws in house, then you definitely need to share this, this one with everybody. All right.
So let me return back to my normal voice.
I'm reading text while I'm talking. I need to stop doing that.
So let me begin by sharing you sharing with you this story I was a lot of
experiences in hygiene for hedge for many years. And in one of the years in hedge. We went through this incredible test, but throughout the hygiene when people would say things like to me, I was the hygiene leader. And they would say things like to me like at all It hurts so bad. And then I would say to them, You mean it hurts so good. And then they would be like
and it would change the atmosphere, right? Just the change of language. And this is my attitude. Whenever somebody would start complaining start whining and hudge what I would do is I would start doing the bake Allama bake with them. So somebody would be like, Oh, the buses came so late and I'll go look bake a law, my eBay. They're like, Oh, the buzzer will be shipped she got like a little bit and I would get them to remember Allah subhanaw taala move them into the Tobia. And then after I think Misamis after we would switch to you know as Eid and then the aid after Eid that's very hard day during Hajj, the 10th of the hedger and a lot of people come in, they've got their stories of
what they went through and they're complaining and we just look at them dead center in the face, while they're complaining, oh, you know, the buses, the walk there, whatever. And I would have like a law who I
like about all law.
law, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar while in his hand, so it would totally melt away you know, the pain that they went through melt away and you know, complain. And if they did want to still complain after that, look them straight in the face and do it again. A law who IQR Allah Hi, totally. So the whole group was like this, this has become the staple of our group that everybody knows anybody complains anybody's whining anything like this. We just look them in the face and just do the tech fee. Right? So we don't tell them don't complain. We don't tell them stop whining. We just remind them of Allah subhanaw taala by exemplifying it in our own, you know, vicar. Okay. So,
so everything's cool, had, you know, Hajj goes along. And then we go to the airport. And I went through one of the hardest tests of my life during high jump through a lot of, of tests. And this is actually interesting. So it's Sora. Right now your straw is trained medical professional. She's in Spain, may Allah subhanaw taala help her help her family and people of Spain and Italy and all around the world. And Sara said something she said, or there was somebody she quoted, and she said that the very calm person, and if you see her get nervous, then everybody should get nervous. A nurse and I used to say the same thing in hutch, I would tell people not to fear not to get scared,
because but if they see me nervous and scared, they need to be very nervous and scared because I've seen lots of things during had to be nervous and scared. So
we went to the airport Hajj was done. It's like, hey, you know what everything's finished. And then to keep a long story short, the airplane that we were we were chartered to leave from Jeddah left without us and we had to wait for that plane to come back. So we were waiting for the plane whenever I asked people how long did you wait for a plane? They'll say something like we had to wait for three hours. We had to wait for eight hours. We waited in the airport for 40 hours for zero 40 hours which is like two days. So
we waited for 40 hours in the airport. We had a we were sleeping in the streets of the of the old Jeddah airport
And then it was so hard. And there was so much anger and you know, everybody's just sitting around and it was cold and we had there was women who are pregnant in the group.
And then I got to a point I think, like in about 34 hours into it.
It was the her time. And, and I made the intention. This is after everything I've been through and I had patients all throughout, I made the intent intention to punch somebody's face out. I literally made the intention. I'm like, I'm waiting for anybody to say anything. And I'm gonna pull out my Wolverine claws and
I was so mad. I got like, I'm finished. I'm done. It's over. And I made the intention. You have you know, when they say premeditated, I was pre meditated.
I was ready to go. So I went and I made will do and I'm like, come on, somebody say something. Somebody say anything.
This is what happened. Can you imagine what I look like with an intention? Like?
I must have looked really scary. So one of the brothers saw me come out of the blue area in the Jeddah airport.
He saw the look on my face. And you know what the first thing he said to me?
Allah hu Akbar, Allah, Akbar, Allahu Akbar,
lung. And I didn't want to say it was
saying nuflow would happen.
Allahu Akbar, Allah Akbar, Holly Hill, Hamed. And all my defenses dropped.
And I started crying.
And I said,
Why should I lose my patience? What am I going to get out of it? It's Pamela, who prayed the her. And I gave a speech after the her in the airport as we were waiting. And I told everybody you know about all the hardships and the pains that other people have been through. And we reminded them reminding myself that we haven't been through those hardships. And yeah, it's a little waiting in the airport are waiting at home. But Alhamdulillah Allah subhanaw taala has protected us. And soon after that, hamdullah the airplane came and it was all good. And everything passed. So here you are, you're in isolation. You're at home. And you know, one day it sounded like yeah, I get some extra
sleep. It's kind of fun. Second day, I watch a little bit of vertigo and stuff like that. I'll get some work done. But now as the days are moving forward,
you might find yourself starting to get a little cabin fever. Cabin Fever, is this natural human thing that when you're stuck in a cabin, maybe it's raining outside, you can't go outside? You get very kind of like anything you're what I would say your fuse is really small, meaning very little can trigger that fuse. And you start snapping at people and getting angry. And may Allah protect us if you have inlaws in the house or husband and wife and things can go from I know we're joking about this now and we're not really joking about it but but it can even get violent meaning like husband and wife getting into you know, domestic fights and may Allah protect us can even go to another
level. So here today inshallah Donna, I want to share with you ways for you to calm that down, calm that down, relax, and how to deal with cabin fever. So here are three things from the Sunnah, that the prophets are the lightest, and I'm taught us that when somebody gets Oh, like, first off, a man came to the profits of a lady some you know, there's a hadith that everybody's familiar with. When the man candle the Prophet saw the light is in him and asked, Who's most worthy of my companionship and the prophesy Simpson, your mother, he said, then who and they said, your mother, he said, then who he said your mother. And that's
that's a hadith that everybody remembers, right? But we also need to remember the Hadith of
the Hadith when the man came to the prophesy said and said, Give me Give me advice. And the Prophet said a lot a centum said, let's talk about Don't get angry, and hear the prophesy sentence didn't qualify it. He didn't say Don't get angry, but get angry in other circumstances. There's no qualification for Don't get angry. Prophets have a license said, Don't get angry. It's not part of who you are. You're a Muslim, don't get angry. And the man said, Okay, give me some more advice and prophesy. centum said, Don't get angry. And the man said, now give me some more advice and the prophesy Sam said, Don't get angry and the Hadith says for Mara Mira
I'm Carla turbo. He kept asking Give me some more advice in the province of a license to kept telling him again and again, don't get angry. So that's the characteristic, the Sunnah that somebody wants to aspire to. Now I'm saying this, but a lot of people really need to hear it, because it seems that Muslims I mean, it's human nature. But it's, you know, whenever, you know, typical Muslim, they're going to show some angry dude, you know, screaming on the news or something like that, or like, and now we have the Muslims. We don't want that the Prophet saw that. Like they said, I was always smiling companion who when he became Muslim, he said, I never met the prophets of Allah
send them except that he was smiling, said a lot. He said, I mean, of course, something that I wish that I can build it up more and for you to
also remember that that's the Sunnah. So here are three ways, from the Sunnah on how to deal with anger, number one,
is to keep quiet, either hopefully, by having a hadith says you have only about Hadoken Phileas. Good.
If you find yourself getting angry, then shut up.
Shut up, keep your mouth quiet. Anything that comes out of your mouth is not going to be good. It's like your brain has been hijacked with this anger. And anything that comes out of your mouth during that anger moment is not going to be good. It's probably going to provoke and it's probably going to lead to more anger. So if you find yourself in isolation at home, somebody made you angry it I won't say made you angry. Things happen when we're in a weak states. We things that normally don't make us angry start to make us angry. Right? So not blaming, but if you find yourself what you're going to say is going to be something out of anger, then asked could be quiet. Silence. Just say you know
what, I'm going to take a quiet moment right now somebody else is talking Thai quiet, it's almost like anger. You know, it takes two hands to clap. So if one person is saying something, in order to put out that flame there has you have to take away the oxygen you have to take away I don't know the things that will ignite that fire. You have to take it away and that is being quiet. It's the profits of the lights and I'm first advice is when you start to feel yourself starting to get angry. Then keep quiet and not with a I mean keep quiet. You're not like give the person an ugly stare. That's not being quiet. That's provoking to like staring at them I'm angry. But I'm going to be
quiet Do you know you know what I'm talking about? That's just smile and Ceylon civil play. The second thing that you want to from the Sunnah the prophets of Allah Addison saw someone get angry. And prophets Allah likes them said that I know a statement that if this person said it
all this would go away. All his anger would go away the Prophet civilize them said, though, Allah are all the bIllahi min, Ash shaytani R rajim. That if the person said out of alignment, a ship on origin, so when you find yourself starting to get angry, or you're even in anger, you say, Oh, the biller in a SharePoint regime, or or the Ministry of Energy, I have a funny story. I have a funny story. Since I'm on. I'm on the topic of, you know,
telling you times when I've gotten anger, angry because it gets it doesn't happen very often. Yeah. Right. So I have these stories. So one time, one thing, one of my biggest pet peeves. My biggest pet peeves is people who park so close to your car, and they block your door. I hate that. And I'm always, you know, parking far away. It's a Canadian thing. I need my space. I'm always, you know, finding places.
And parking lot far away. So one time, I parked super far away, and there was no need for this person to do what they did. They they park so close to my door, there was about like three millimeters, one inch for our American friends. That's not the exact conversion but to get that it left me like three millimeters to open my door. I was so mad. I was so mad. And then this time I said, You know what I am going to stop for like I said, I've only thought of this once. I'm just telling you all these times that I've gotten angry.
I made the intention. I took my keys out and I said I am going to cut this person's car.
I heard about people doing that in Winnipeg. It's such a such a Winnipeg thing to do. You could take my keys and I'm gonna scratch up his car. How dare he park his car that close to my car.
I took my keys
and I looked into this guy's car and I was ready to like, scratch up his car. How dare he park this close to me. And you know what I saw you
Do what I saw inside the car. The person had a towel wheeze wrapped around the wrapped around his his rear rear view mirror. The towers, I literally I'm looking in the car, I'm so mad, and it says on it are all the villa in the shape.
So I was like, Man, I'm the shape on this scenario, the guy has got out of laminate shape father regime in his car. And then
so I said to myself, I'm not encouraging you to put Thai wheeze up in your car, but at this point, it saved his car from
from Mr. Shape, ah, may Allah protect us. So hamdulillah so that's the second thing. If you get angry, you want to say I would love him in a shirt on Origen Oh, the blind ministry apology again, not in a provoking way. If you have a spouse or an in law and they're getting angry, and you're like, Oh, the Belemnite show up on our gym. If you say it in a provoking way, you're gonna provoke the person. So you know, and that's not a good intention. You want to say to the person like how the lamina Sheriff hundreds you know what I call it is the DJ voice low and slow and quiet would have been like
Nobody, like Don't provoke me, I would have been like,
quiet, slow over the Bellagio. And you're bringing the person bringing their heartbeat down slowly quiet. Third thing, third thing from the Sunnah that you want.
You want to look at when you are, if you find yourself getting angry is changing position. Or, or going in make wudu these are two different two different Hadith. So one of them the Prophet said a lot of them said if you get angry and you're standing, then sit down. And if you're sitting down while you're angry, then you should then you should lie down.
That's one one Hadith so sitting down and lying down another thing that a person should do is if they get angry, they should go and make will do the prophets of Allah as Adam said that that anger is a fire from shale pawn and fire is extinguished by water. So if any of you gets angry they should go and make will do and so the thing that you're learning here is change your state. So if you need in this times when you're like isolated and and you see some anger getting go into another room, you know, go to a kitchen table, maybe go in like down something like that switch the positions that you're in, we are we are done. Now on the left, we went a little bit longer today. So that Callaghan
for keeping up with me here went a little bit longer today but I want to finish off with two last things and one of them you might not relate it to anger so much. But in these times when you're isolated at home and you're with family and things are getting a little you know, little tense I want you to remember the Hadith of the prophets that a lot I sent him a raw he Munna Your humble humble ramen, or humble Memphis or Hammacher Memphis sama. Prophet sallallahu sallam said, The Merciful people will be will receive mercy from the merciful Subhan Allah to Allah, the Merciful people will receive mercy from the from the merciful, meaning a right man, Allah will give you mercy
if you show mercy to other people, then humble Memphis up have mercy on those who are on earth. And Allah will have mercy. And the one in the heavens will have mercy on you. So here when you're at home, sometimes the person that you think is, is fighting with you or provoking with you is actually playing with you. I want you to remember that
the person that you are that is provoking you at home may actually be somebody who just wants to play with you. So it could be like your son and daughter if you have children, and they want to play with you. They just want to play but it's provoking you and you're getting angry. And remember at that point that either the Prophet said allies and um, that the merciful man will have mercy on you if you have mercy on those on the earth. Maybe husband and wife, one of them slept good and drank well, and the other one didn't and they just want to play they're like Poke, poke, poke poke you or you know, don't poke me, right but remind yourself that to have mercy on your brothers and on your
brothers and sisters and and the people in your household. The other thing that I want to remind you of again may not necessarily normally be connected this topic of anger in the home but
That is the hadith of smiling. The Prophet said a lot as Adam said.
The Prophet said a lot as Adam said, if the SAML coffee wedge he or he casada that your smile in the face of your brother is a charity. And so as you're home and you're self isolating with your family member to smile, remember to smile and remember to have mercy and inshallah Tada when you put all these things together, and you put it all together, then great things will happen in sha Allah. And we are done. Just Dhaka Lohan for tuning in. I want to remind you guys we have a open and free event. Normally in Ramadan. We do Visionaire which is designing dream doors. And during that time in Ramadan, it builds community we have an awesome community we build hope for the future. We design
our doors, connect our doors, Ramadan, we are now having this. We're doing a visionary esque type of one day event and it's free and open to all and it's going to be this Saturday, the 21st I believe the URL for it to register for it. It is free and open to everybody. You're welcome to invite anybody that you want is Visionaire. ramadan.com/community visionair ramadan.com/community. If somebody can write that if somebody knows the URL URL for real, if you can type that in the comments so other people can see it and click on it, inshallah Tada and then later on after I'm done, we'll share some stuff. Zach Callahan for tuning in all ye from around the world. This is Muhammad Sharif
sending love and peace to all of you. I wish you all the best. And I wish you great success in this special time and inshallah to Allah we all come out of this
with the Mercy of Allah Subhana Allah Dona es Salaam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah.