Intellectual Seerah #11 Marriages Of The Prophet

Mohammed Hijab


Channel: Mohammed Hijab

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Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. And welcome to the 11th session of the critical sera we'll be employing in sha Allah, the interdisciplinary approach, the multi pronged approach in dealing with the life of the most honorable and important and influential man in human history, the most virtuous, impeccably virtuous man in human history, Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and today we're going to be delving deep into the more personal kind of relationships with the Prophet Mohammed says, and in fact,

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in current times, we would say, it's not just the most personal, it's actually also the most controversial, unfortunately, as well. But we need to know, as the Muslim community as the Muslim people how to deal with that. And so we're going to be applying the critical approach. And this lesson is going to have that level of criticality in dealing with

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the marriages of the Prophet. Now, we can't go through all of the marriages of the Prophet in this

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in this particular episode, because there are many of them. We've already been through if you think about it, one of the marriages of the Prophet already, which is the marriage of ideology, on the one hand, how pure that was, and how beautiful that was, and how she was very supportive of him, how she was older than him, in fact, and he was in a monogamous relationship with her for some time. And then we spoke about how when he,

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when she died, how that had an impact on him, the year of grief. So we won't be repeating that information. Though it is important to preface or preamble that which we're going to be talking about today. With that in mind, because it will feed into certain narratives which we need to dispel. In particular today, which Allah will be speaking about three particular wives the Prophet Muhammad wa salam. The first is so diabetes, Emma, who is underreported in some of the narratives. When we speak about the wives of the Prophet Mauser Salam, she's not one of the ones that come to mind. I mean, if I went to the street in a White Chapel and lost people to mention who are the wives

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of the Prophet, I'm pretty sure people will mentioned IDG I'm pretty sure we all mentioned Ayesha, maybe have some sort of into some I might not even get an honorable mention. But she will today Inshallah, we're going to be speaking about something of the marriage of the Prophet Muhammad, someone said it would sum up, and then we're going to go to actually get around your loved one with all the controversies that entails. And of course, we have spoken about this in great length in other episodes and in discussions and debates with interlocutors and polemicists and detractors with the most specious of claims against the Prophet Muhammad wa salam, which we know for Well, in fact,

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really, if we were to ask the question, what is one of the most

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oft repeated attacks against Islam is to do with the the age of the union between the Prophet hands of someone, Aisha, and how that's reiterated throughout,

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I would say this political spectrum are mostly on the right wing, I would say also, so we're going to be speaking about how to deal with that. And then we're going to be dealing with Sophia bint Hawaii, which is particularly topical, in our times, because she was ethnically Jewish. And so the discussion about or discussions that we have about, quote unquote, anti semitism, a lot of it is important visa vie, this particular wife how the process of them interacted with this particular wife. There are some narratives that are relating to how the union took place, with obviously, another controversial issue, the Bentyl coryza, how they were were the combatants amongst them, were

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killed effectively by the Muslim people at that time. And obviously, she was spared, and so all the women and children, but that's a product of that particular battle between Muslims and general Kurata. And so this relationship is extremely important, as well, before we continue. You'll see in the third slide I put there, and there's a list of names, I've got this one. And don't judge me for it, but I got it from Wikipedia. But I like it because of it has a list of things. Having said that this list is a little bit inaccurate. For example, one of them people that are mentioned in the list is meant to be a list of the night names of the prophets wives, is mediocrity. But as we will come

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to see when we speak about her maybe in some great detail, majority of scholars don't consider her to be a wife. She was actually an indentured servant of some of some.

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Actually, she was a gift to the Prophet Malthus. She was a gift given. She's an indentured servant. And then she became what you call on wallet, which is that she had the childhood. Yes, she had effectively the same rights as a wife. Well, it doesn't have discernible have that many distinguishable rights from a wife

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As very much the same, maybe some inheritance rights and other things are going to be obscured. But effectively, she has most of the same rights as a wife, but she wouldn't be considered to be the Mothers of the Believers by the majority of scholars.

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And why that is an indentured servant, who basically had a child with the carryover, the sacred, or the, if you want to call it the, the person who's who has a slave or has the indentured servant, this is called to say it. So that particular person, the slave, the master, if you like, put it in a very crass way, the master, so on the wallet is has a different status, as word for example, any particular indentured servant in that particular time. So she graduated, graduated a number in rank in that way, and I hadn't been to say that as well. She has mentioned here, but once again, most of the scholars don't consider her to be a wife, a wife of the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, once

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again, the same kind of situation applied.

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This is another list once again, don't judge me from Wikipedia, but this is actually from denmat. Kamal Josie, that's his list of who were the wives of the Prophet Muhammad Salah Salem.

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So we've got here for DJ, we've got sold there and somehow got I should I should have been to Abu Bakar we've got have something to hammer, we've got Zane up into Jose Matt, that we have on Selma. And if that had been to Josh, and then we have Joe at Abington Harris, which we'll speak about as well. We have on the Habiba have severe Sofiya bintray, which we'll speak about today.

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And then we have my mana, mental Hadith and Maria, l cochlea. As we mentioned, she's not a wife, constant majority of scholars, but this is the list that is given.

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Something else which I've not mentioned here, actually, there is a there is a Hadith, which is very important, and I mentioned this hadith, first and foremost, because it does fit here, but it will make reference to it when you get to

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Sofia in particular. And your idea of a woman. Her name is Ben to Joan or Joanie. Yeah, they call her Joanie. Yeah. And actually this hadith is in Biharis. It's the most authentic

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collection of Hadith in the Muslim world.

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And the Hadith goes as follows. It goes back to the Prophet Muhammad SAW Selim married a woman called Ben to John, if we don't know much about this woman, but her name has been to George she's not much in this list. And she has not mentioned a typical lists. I'll tell you why she's not mentioned. But he married this woman called Vintage on, okay. And when he married her, what happened was that she came into his house and it was time to consummate the marriage. And then she said the phrase, which was very unusual phrase, she says, out of the polemic

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out of Allah McQueen's like I seek refuge in Allah from you. So as soon as she said, this phrase, the Prophet SAW Salem told her, you know, as a daily advocate, or come across, I solemnly says, to go to go back to your family. This is this is the Hadith go back to your family. So no conservation took place. And it wasn't really a marriage in that sense. Now, I looked at some of the reports of how the hydrological and because obviously, it got fed to her belly and stuff, where he's discussing this hadith, and all these kinds of things. And one of the theories that he comes along with I don't know if he really corroborates it with any hard evidence was that because the question is, why did

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she say that? Why would she put herself in a position where she's marrying? Because she has to give consent, we know that it'll be cruel to step down. And these kinds of Hadith we have all these Hadees about a woman has to give her, you know, the the version to give her consent is unconceivable isn't conceivable that a woman will be there in the first place unless you want it to be there. And we'll come to that, by the way, there's lots of evidence for the fact that the process would never force a woman to be in a marriage that she didn't want to be in. Yes, there's lots of evidence for that in the Quran. In fact itself.

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I will just give you one piece and it just to to make the point home because I might forget Well, whilst I'm continuing, that the in took last up in chapter 33 of the Quran, Quran, Allah says in Contadina, to retinal hair to dunya with Xena to have a darlin, you know, oh, Mothers of the Believers if you really want

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the adornment of this world.

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This the highest dunya was in Atlantis dome and this wilderness a dome and then come and I will set you free. Okay. And by the way, the scholars of Islam said that this was an efficacious verse, meaning what it was, it was a verse where any of the wives of the prophet at any time could have gone to the Prophet and said to him, I don't want to be with you anymore, and it would have been fine. It would have been considered considered to be a divorce. Like for example, you know, in Islamic law, yeah. A man can divorce a woman by just saying a word obviously a woman can go into first and Hola. And all this kind of stuff you can ask him because hola is when she goes and asks

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the husband himself. I'll give you something

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can be even a pen. I mean, some scholars say

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But usually it's the Maha, right? It could be something movement, something which is hola it's something movement, something which is what has value, but then you give me a Tilak. So it's considered to be Hola. That's one category of thing, hola.

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Then you have festival and she goes to the judge and the judge determines, okay, these two are not suitable and he takes us as assets. So she asked the woman can get the most this is not like Judaism, especially Orthodox Judaism, where there's no way except through the husband is all Catholicism, which once again, only until recently, they've only tried to quote unquote, reform the situation. So I'm gonna get divorce. However,

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a man can say enter italic, and it will become efficacious, so long as according to the habila. The humble is he means it. I mean, the element of the intention is important because the humbleness Some scholars say, even if he doesn't mean it, but that's a another view.

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You know, and there's discussion about when does it count? When does it not count, but all it takes is a word. Do you get what I mean? So a man if you say to your wife, you are divorced, it counts as one of three divorces, if you say three times, then it counts as she has to go and get another husband and have it be intimate with Him and before she comes to you that these are rules of divorce and marriage and slap. Now, effectively, this, this verse in the Quran and Sunnah, Zab you know, in contributory denial higher to dunya was the Netta, half Italian. Well, Mattia, Canosa Oh, I also recognize Saleh and Jamila, I will give you provision. And by the way, the Quran says that, I will

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let you go and be like, Kenny, I won't just divorce you, or you won't just be let free. You will be let free in a good way in a beautiful way. So it's like, by the way, I'm not no grudges here.

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You're not gonna be a social outcast. Now it's going to be fine. No worries. If you don't want to be with me, the Quran makes this clear. Any of the ones that are perfect, he doesn't want to be with a prophet, then what? Then you can leave to the point where there's a hadith where the prophets of salaam went to Aisha, Radi Allahu Allah. And we'll come to this in a second.

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When he basically told her secret, go to go to your father before you make a decision. But it would have been as good as a man saying to a wife, you're divorced. Does this make sense? So if a woman said I don't want to be with you anymore, in that context, it would have been as good as a man saying to woman, you're divorced. So this is the kind of freedom that was afforded to the ones that have profit in relation to or visa vie, him being with them or not being with them. Does that make sense? Now, you could say that's the theoretical festival what happened in practice. That's why I'm bringing to you the hadith of Al geneia In Buhari or been to Joan, because that had this Virgil Nia,

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she was there. Now imagine how Subhanallah this hadith is a very powerful Hadith, if you really consider and think about it with care. And you ponder over it with care because this hadith says the following

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this one we call the journey, the process of murder, okay, now that together in the room, and literally, this is the time when the conservation is gonna happen.

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Now, sorry to say Yanni,

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say we call it so don't be crude about this. But if a young man gets married to a woman, yes, young man gets married to a woman.

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And then he's daring the situation and they're together by themselves, whatever.

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And she says some words like oh, the polemic

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was throwing, among other things. We'll talk about that often. Let's just get on with the job. So we'll talk about that after that. You know, whatever, you know. Now if the person in question is a sex addict, if the person in question has this vociferous, vehemently vociferous, you know, nature, where they need to engage in this manner that allows this is the opportunity. But he immediately when he heard,

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not even Enix is not even by the way, this is not even clear. negation. It's not like, I don't want to do this. It's not even that clear.

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Do you know what I mean? It's not even like that clear. But even this is that you can imply from it, he said, Go back to your family, not interested.

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So this shows you the extent to which the promises tell him number one, the self respect to hear for himself, the self dignity, but also the control of his sexual faculties. Which, by the way, in the first episode, the second, we spoke about the virtues and that is you said that she said that he is the best of you in terms of controlling a sexual desire

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by also dispels already, the narratives, which we're going to come across, which indicate that the Prophet was forcibly, you know, marrying this one or that one? Because if it was about forcing, then why did he force a Joanie to look about your family in the hydrosis about this? Why did you say that? So here's some theories he brought forward as some of the other ones that are prophets that the human likes that the Prophet Muhammad likes. He likes the kind of words

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maybe the idea is even harsher than saying the actual true

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because her

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because she was jealous effectively, and we've got to come to the jealousy of Asia. What point was this marriage taking place? At what point in the profit? Are we the Johnny? Oh, yes, I don't know, to be honest with that. I mean, that's, that's a very, we'll come to the, like the ordering of the, when they married like, for example, Solomon somehow will come to light it was a second year for JIRA.

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And then same thing with like a one year later, they say, I actually got most of the problem I was I Salam. But then don't forget, there's a difference between a marriage and the consummation with Asha. So that's another thing as well, in between you had you know, and then after that you have site and so on. There is a kind of timeline, but exact dates. I tried to look at this. And there wasn't exact dates. Okay, this is in Bali, like mentioned is there's estimations. So where she fit in where this exactly happened, I don't think you're going to find anything authentic or reliable, exactly to as to where she fit in exactly.

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We can assume it was a medieval period. Of course, like any we can assume that it was after sold down Ayesha, for example. But I think more than that would be guessing at that point.

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so as we mentioned, I looked at some of the things and so so the winter summer, she married the MaHA Salam, according to Monica Thea,

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and his book, they wouldn't hear on the 10th of prophethood. And this is the same year

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as when actually married, but then obviously, three years because the difference between marriage and consummation with Asha is important.

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And we're going to speak about Cinnabon to Josh in the next Ellesmere. I was originally considering speaking about his inability, Josh in this one, but I realized it would be too much to do. So we'll speak to Josh in the next slide.

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So just to go through the first one then

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sewed up into Sama, who said, not many people want to have information behind the zero narrative relating to his number one that she her husband died, okay. And that she was living among the polytheists. And she had actually traveled to Abyssinia. She had trouble down syndrome.

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And the person that she was married to before or Socrative, and the Hummer, and according to the Sierra narratives, they had five kids together. So she had imagined this, the first woman the problem, how someone was going to marry after her Deja Vu is considerably older than him as well as a woman who was older than him. So so the wisdom was definitely ultimately from Hamza Salaam. And she had five kids.

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Okay, and I came across some some Hadees as to what the only way this could be the case all of them are weak

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by the looks of it, or the majority of them are weak. I don't know which ones are strong. But but they'll basically the there was one particular Hadith where the prophet son was approached, and he was he was by Holabird, hockey. And she came to me and asked him like, you seem quite sad right now.

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And he was like, yeah, she said, she proposed that might you get married to Saddam in summer?

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So yeah, he's he was happy with the idea. Some other narratives and the Sierra is like, Okay, well, because she was in a difficult situation and her husband died and stuff. The pope also wanted to offer like a gesture to someone in the community who was finding it difficult. So there's both of those kinds of things there.

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She was the first think about this.

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Actually, she has a distinction which people don't think about that much, which is that she was the only other woman to be in monogamy with the former house, if you consider it, because you had Khadija Yes, she was in monogamy, but also southern monogamy. So the two women that were in a monogamous relationship with the Prometheus alum, were considerably older than him and had previous marriages. And in the case of Sodom and Sama, she had five kids.

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And he was in a monogamous relationship. So it really shows you something about the character of the Prophet, because the thing is, if we're talking about what is it that they want to portray about him, they want to say that he was a kind of, you know, sorted to say, I need some kind of a sex addict, some kind of a womanizer. Yeah. That's the most harsh criticism of the Prophet if it's the case, because he had so many wives. So how could a man have that many wives and not be? But the thing is, if you're going to be a sex addict, or if you're going to be some kind of a womanizer,

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your testosterone is at its highest anyway, when you're about 18 to 25 to 35. So your behavior at that time we saw his behavior, it was so it was open, there was no such thing as halal or haram. Like that wasn't his behavior, though. Like we know from that no one has accused him of that. Yeah. And his people in his in his society didn't accuse him. How could you keep going for Motoman he was only with one woman that was older than him. So the idea is, men Shambala che chevalley. The parable, the parable is someone who, who's raising something. It's usually when he's older, he has the same kind of inclination. But if we're talking about something as volatile as sexuality, we're

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trying to make the case that the Prophet Muhammad was more volatile.

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And he's older ages of 50 than he was when he was younger when the saucer was higher, that's a it's a difficult claim to make on a psychological level. Surely anyone can see this. That's number one. Number two is

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even now he isn't a situation where he's the leader of a polity. Because someone could argue, to play devil's advocate was only when he tasted power that he decided to go with all of these things. Well, with all due respect, you didn't need to have power to have what was on the table in Mecca anyways, because a lot of it was payment methods that there was prostitution was there, there was this there was that you didn't really need that much power, number one. Number two, when he did have power, why did he go with the woman that was?

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First of all, she was a big woman as well. I mean, I'm not sure if you've seen, like, we know some of the generations of armor in the hot tub when he said that, you know, you can't trick us we know is definitely you. Yeah. Because after the hijab went on, like she was, she's a big woman. So it's not okay, so you go for a big woman, you go for a woman that's older than you, and that has five kids, it's not really what you would go for if you're a womanizer. So it's a very unusual kind of claim.

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But if you look at the human side of it, if you look at the serial narrative is clear the process and was very sad.

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You know, and, you know, this woman came to him and she said to him, you know, this is a woman that wants to get married, bla bla bla, so what was the relationship? The question is with soda, and

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the Prophet so what what kind of personality that you have? We said already, she had she, she had experience in marriage has kids.

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But there was a hadith very interesting, which I came across, and I put it here is basically that they were praying Kim will live together. Yeah. So this is interesting. And we said this already. The Prophet Muhammad Salah salaam would pray PMO, Lail with all of his wives,

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which is an interesting point, all of them would engage in it would it would

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join the profiles of Solomon, this kind of worship? Yeah.

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And she was finding it difficult. Like, I think she was bleeding from the nose or something like that.

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Anyway, they finished the prayer, and then she told him about that. And she goes, I was, you know, so tired. And they basically had a laugh about it. That was so love laughter by with her, she was a kind of joyful, you can see because most of the Hadees even though a lot of them are weak, I tried to come across the hadith of Zelda, and see what kind of a person she was. Most of the Hadees indicate that she was a kind of Joker personality. So to say, she was yeah, she liked to crack a joke she likes to she was joyful. She was jolly, so much. So that some of the Hadith with ASHA, and we'll come to this, she was effectively saying like, my favorite wife of the Prophet is soda. But

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you'd expect no less from a woman that's very jealous, because obviously, she doesn't see her as a threat. And that sounds like very interesting to see. But she saw otherwise. Otherwise, as she was very extremely jealous Asha. You can see what kind of behavior we'll see when she saw Joe ad for the first time. She said Kenny to her I hated her. You know, because she was a very beautiful woman. She didn't say that. Oh, you know, I loved her so much like she's saying now so that she was a good one, how she has done that, because there's jealousy, there's competition, which we'll come to in a second, the jealousy and we'll come into what is jealousy? What is romantic jealousy?

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And what does it mean, when the wives of the Prophet show jealousy? What does it indicate?

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But we'll come to that. So the from discussion.

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So yes, this is so deep into summer. And she had this kind of Jolly personality. And one thing that always comes up with talking about and so that is that she gave one of her nights up to the Prophet Muhammad wa Salaam.

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as you can see this, there's one Hadith here that, unfortunately, he's very weak.

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You can read it in your own time. I'm not going to,

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to mention that.

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But now we're on slide number nine. So you gave up with a fight, right? She was getting older, she has five kids. Now I'm gonna be a little controversial and say the following. Nowadays, we have like a domestic issue where a lot of men get married to women that have kids already. And I don't want to go into a lot of these ones. But I will say this, I mean, we don't have that many Hadees saying, you know, the prophet hustler went and sold his house, and he was raising her kids. We don't have that many Hadees about that.

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Because nowadays, a lot of the narrative is that if a man gets married to a woman with kids, it's almost seen as the epitome of virtue for him to raise the other woman's children. I don't see that if that was so virtuous, why do we not have this I didn't come across a single generation where the prophet was then so this house trying to raise her kids and help her out with that, even though her father was actually

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that the Father is the only those because however, we do have had the saying that if you marry a widow, it's a very high reward and lots of hobbies about marrying the widow and stuff like that.

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But we don't see that many Hadith of the prophets of Salaam, really like you know, doing that on a daily basis. But on the other on the flip side, we don't see that many either have a problem with it, because nowadays, we have many men saying, you know, why should I marry a woman with kids? It's not my kids. He wasn't averse to it.

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But on the on the other side, there's two extremes, it can be averse to the fact that women with kids marry. And the the other extreme is no, you have to raise them like you're the father. And if you don't do that there's blame on you and this thing on that? No. So the point is I'm I was clever, because she realized in order to be competitive, she has to be flexible. She understood her situation. She has five children, she cannot put her up, she cannot physically put all of her attention to five children. And to the Prophet Muhammad says that she gave her day up. Some say, well, because somebody say that, you know, she feared that the Prophet would divorce her. I tried to

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find why she came across this fear. And the Prophet has didn't tell her I'm gonna divorce you.

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This is over between me and you didn't say he didn't say that. She just feel it. Why not? Why wouldn't you fear it when you see he's marrying young women like Aisha and just one of that one. It's natural. She, she wants to be competitive. So in order to be competitive, she gave one of her days up. And the Prophet SAW Selim accepted this. And this is what some people call Miss Jana merge,

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Miss Jana merge, which has allowed them to slam Michelle means a Tesla and basil,

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that a woman's stepped down from parts of her rights. It's allowed.

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Michelle is not mater where the man is trying to get married, is he and then get divorced after two days, oh, and then you put it in the contract.

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You see, that's not there's a difference. People get these, these words confused. Miss Shar is when you get married. And then that you want for example, if it's to add or decrease polygamy,

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then it's not an even nights, it's not even nights. This shows you that Islam is trying to create a situation where every type of person can be married and find a spouse.

00:26:50--> 00:27:08

That's what Islam is trying to do. It wants to keep people away from Zina. It wants to facilitate all kinds of marriages, you've got polygamy, you've got Mossad, polygamy, we've got non put in this. And that ISIL is non misiak polygamy. In fact, it has to be equal. That's the hustle. But some life situations don't allow such a thing.

00:27:10--> 00:27:13

So slam has opened the door for something else.

00:27:14--> 00:27:17

We see Yes, we were stepping down from her eyes, she mean that

00:27:18--> 00:27:46

the wife would see the husband once one day a week or something like this, instead of the whole seven days a week or just an example. As an example, if you have two wives, right? What would have to happen is that you'd have to split the days, the nights equally, not the days, by the way, you'd have to split the nights equally. Yeah. So you can do that in a multiplicity of different ways. You can do three nights, four nights, four nights, three nights, you can do five, five, whatever you can decide to structure so long as even. That's the awesome.

00:27:47--> 00:27:55

Where's my car? Now, though, situation happens is that say one of the wives say the second wife for the sake of argument, she comes and says, Okay, I don't need you to come.

00:27:56--> 00:28:07

For all the nights for all the three nights or four nights of the equal. You can come for one night, or what two nights for the sake of argument. Now it has to come from her.

00:28:08--> 00:28:10

She has to agree to this. You can't force that upon her.

00:28:12--> 00:28:21

You get it? You can't say okay, well, you have to do that. What can happen is the following I can make a very a woman woman. And that could be the agreement. And then she can decide.

00:28:22--> 00:28:39

Now I don't want this no more. Now, if she decides I don't want this no more. All the scholars of Islam says that she has to bring he has to bring he has to give her equal equal rights. All the schools of Islam say that the only way you can get out of that is by divorcing her say I can't sorry, I can't facilitate and this is going to end the marriage.

00:28:41--> 00:28:42

Well about not believing.

00:28:46--> 00:29:24

I mean, what rights would she she could still give up her rights? She could she could ever have a right means you can give it up. So you can say for example, like in the case of a man and a woman? Yeah. And how right is to be given provision, right? She can say okay, well, I'm gonna give you a bit of I'm going to help you out with the daily weather with the monthly wages. She can decide to do that. So within a woman's right to do that, she doesn't need to do that. But so decision. So if, for example, you've got two person household, they both work and like a man or woman are working right? If a man or woman are working, and they both agreed on that, because the bills are so high in Yanni,

00:29:24--> 00:29:28

so long as the woman agreed to that, no one should blame them.

00:29:29--> 00:29:51

And then the question really was, what housework now do you give the woman the double burden or not? Well, if the man has agreed, then there's more flexibility on issues of housework now. Because if she's doing a role that's not hers, then it's more expected that he doesn't roll that's not his. Do you see what I mean? If your wife is doing a role, that's not hers. It's more expected for you to do a role that's not yours.

00:29:52--> 00:29:57

But the more you do a role that's yours, the more the less expected it would be for her to do more or less nice.

00:29:58--> 00:29:59

Should be good.

00:30:00--> 00:30:03

Lay. So that is the story of Sofia bintray.

00:30:04--> 00:30:19

Now we know how she got married we know her situation we know that she had a good relationship with the Prophet Muhammad Salah Salem with also the controversies that surround her now we're gonna go to Aisha Radi Allahu anha. It's very important wife, in fact, the most important life after Khadija

00:30:21--> 00:30:24

and this before I get to that, you can see in the

00:30:26--> 00:30:32

in the in slide 10 and 11 number number 10. It's just a hadith on the relationship between

00:30:33--> 00:30:39

Russia and so the and you expect this, like I said before you expect this to be the case. Why? Because she didn't see her as a threat.

00:30:41--> 00:30:47

And so there was a very nice, like woman has like almost a motherly vibe. There must have been a massive age difference between the two.

00:30:48--> 00:30:49

So why not? You know,

00:30:51--> 00:30:54

we don't even know how old she was. I mean, I tried to find exactly how old she was. I can't find it.

00:30:57--> 00:30:58

So that's

00:30:59--> 00:31:13

I sold us a sheet how she had soda, and Holika Hello Vasa salaam she fed Jani the processor with the vasa. So because of that, he said, you know, he knew she knew that he, he loved that she the most.

00:31:15--> 00:31:19

That's what she said. She said, Give give my data. I just give it to any of your wives that you want.

00:31:20--> 00:31:34

By the way, that's very interesting, if you think about because she wanted to save him the headache? Because if she said give, think of the following if she said Give your night to any of the wives that you like, what problem would that cause?

00:31:37--> 00:31:41

Just fine having to choose, he had to choose and what if you have to choose them? What issues?

00:31:42--> 00:31:58

Yes, it's like why are you choosing her for me? Now my son was gonna come at our house is gonna come? Well, this one's gonna come with that was gonna come whoever he's married to is No, give it to ash in particular, because I know that's where you'd want to go. So he she kind of was shows the relationship that he had with her. So he could tell her anything.

00:32:00--> 00:32:05

By the way, I need some Jonnie the idea of disclosing information to your wife.

00:32:07--> 00:32:08

It's a very tricky subject.

00:32:09--> 00:32:27

If you and your husband same thing applies. If your husband or your wife proves incapable, then telling them the information, whatever it may be, it could really be detrimental to the marriage. But the more they show that they're capable of handling information, the more that information should be given to them.

00:32:29--> 00:32:33

Because not seeing something is not the same as lying about it.

00:32:34--> 00:32:42

By the way, omission is different to lying, and lying itself to the spouse is allowed. But anyways, we'll move on.

00:32:43--> 00:32:45

Because this is a controversial topic.

00:32:49--> 00:33:02

So was actually I was Ilana. Obviously, when I say Lang itself has allowed this difference of opinion on that, you know, some say, white lie, some say totally. Yes. I'm saying there's something like that. But the majority opinion that is that is a lot.

00:33:03--> 00:33:28

The second thing is that now the Prophet Muhammad Salam, the Sierra narrative on Asha, Johanna, yeah, number one, the Prime Minister Islam, so had a dream. And he, in fact, he saw this dream twice. And this is mentioned Buhari. And basically, he there was a figure and they didn't do the figures uncovered. And he realized it and figured, actually, I shot and then he realized that, Oh, this must happen. Now. There's going to be a marriage that takes place between me and Aisha.

00:33:29--> 00:33:47

Obviously, as you guys know, she's the daughter of a worker's dick. And in the 21st century standard, or to the 21st century standard, this is going to be considered a very young marriage. And in fact, more can be said about that, because the consummation couldn't have happened at nine years old. So what kind of thing is this?

00:33:48--> 00:33:53

They will say, what kind of thing is this? I mean, how can you allow a man that's over the age of 50? To be with a woman?

00:33:54--> 00:34:07

That is that age? I mean, how can that consider be considered to be more useful? My impeccable moral virtue and all these kind of things to say this is absolutely not impeccable. More, would you allow that for your daughter? If you had a nanny, would you allow that you've heard this argument before? Right.

00:34:08--> 00:34:21

But you know, the interesting thing about all of this, is that this controversy, if you really look at it, and when I was in with Ali Dawa and Mohamed Osman and salaam we actually done a little bit of a research of enough man, I was Sophia, that a good book on it.

00:34:22--> 00:34:28

And we done research. And we realized that this criticism only started to mount in the 19th century.

00:34:30--> 00:34:40

But that's really interesting, isn't it? Because if this criticism started to man already in the 19th century, what does this indicate to us about how humanity historically and cross culturally

00:34:41--> 00:34:43

perceive these kinds of marriages?

00:34:44--> 00:34:53

Now, I want to actually introduce one thing and I'm going to name it a certain thing as well. To you guys, I'm gonna call it the social construct argument. Okay.

00:34:54--> 00:34:55

Now, you guys may have seen

00:34:56--> 00:34:59

recently there was this guy Matt Walsh, or

00:35:00--> 00:35:01

thing is Mount Washington daily wire.

00:35:03--> 00:35:41

And Matt Walsh, he made this thing about what is a woman, he went out and started asking people what is what is a woman? And then he went to the left wing guys and post modernists. So I know you guys have seen it, right? And they will say, well, it's not for you and this and that did make a mockery of them. And then they go to some guy in the African jungle and it's always a woman, you see, like a person with a vagina or an adult with a vagina or something, something along those lines, or X X X chromosomes with that's gone through period, whatever it is, but they would give a biological marker for it. Now, as we said, in the beginning of this discussion, if you see where the majority of

00:35:41--> 00:35:49

criticisms come relating to the age of Arusha, and the Prophet Muhammad Salim where do we find them? Within right wing spaces? That's where we find them? Really.

00:35:50--> 00:35:58

I don't find I can tell you this. As a matter of fact, I find the majority, I'm not saying it doesn't exist in left wing spaces, but the majority of them isn't what the right wing spaces.

00:35:59--> 00:36:11

And the right wing spaces are the same spaces, you'll find. They're making arguments against transgenderism and stuff like that, right? Why? Because they say that you guys don't even know how to define a woman.

00:36:14--> 00:36:43

What was the transgender argument? That actually a woman is a social construct effectively, whether its agenda, whether we're defining it as a gender, or whether we're defining as what a sex Judith Butler says, Judith Butler, the third wave feminists, who Proxor came out in almost almost in an organization, proxy. And this because I don't want to be implicated. But let's just say ProxySG came out as a pro Palestinian activist, and actually had some pro Hamas things to say, I'm not sure if you saw this,

00:36:44--> 00:37:07

Judith Butler, this person who's writing about transgenderism, but she says in her book, gender troubles that, you know, she has a book and she she has many of those, that sex itself could be a social construct. So this is what permeates the left wing space, this idea that sex is a social construct, sex itself, like being a woman as a social construct. Some of them say, a penis is a social construct. You've heard all these arguments before.

00:37:08--> 00:37:21

Now, here's what I'm saying to you. The idea is ridiculous. I mean, most people don't accept this. Yes, most of the majority of the world don't accept this new age religion of the Western, right, we don't really accept the right wingers are most vocal about.

00:37:22--> 00:37:25

However, when it comes to adulthood,

00:37:27--> 00:37:27

they have a very

00:37:29--> 00:37:30

fixed idea of adulthood.

00:37:32--> 00:37:42

But what is that fixed idea, and if you look at the dictionary definition of adulthood, as you'll see, a lot of additional definitions actually have the age of 18 in it. So when when someone says was a child,

00:37:44--> 00:37:56

if you go and ask 100, right wing people what as a child, you'd be surprised, I promise, you're not going to get the same answer. Someone whose age is 16, is over 18, over 21. And over this age, whatever they say,

00:37:58--> 00:38:12

it's going to be a social construct. It's as good as what the left wing people were saying about what a woman is. Now, think about that for a second. What the left wing people were saying about what a woman is, is what the right wing people are saying about what an adult is.

00:38:14--> 00:38:18

Genocide, what I'm saying? Because they will say, what's the social construct?

00:38:19--> 00:38:37

Well, what a woman is a social construct where she is wherever she feels wherever she is. And that is a range of different things that make what a woman is, and I'm not here to define what a woman is no, you will find the same kind of rhetoric being employed with what an adult is, according to the majority of let's say Western people's.

00:38:40--> 00:38:42

Because if they went for the scientific explanation,

00:38:44--> 00:38:46

that an adult is not someone who's 18 years old.

00:38:48--> 00:38:51

Is there is no way. In fact, I've got you some journals, just to be sure, yeah.

00:38:55--> 00:39:12

So I've got a definition of what social construct is an idea that has been created and accepted by the people in the society, right? An adult is a person that has grown to full size and strength. However, an adult under English law is someone over the age of 18. So you've seen that this is usually embedded somewhere in the definition.

00:39:16--> 00:39:18

Now, if you look at

00:39:20--> 00:39:24

In fact, I'll give you a couple of minutes to read slide 16 and 17.

00:39:25--> 00:39:34

All right, and then and then summarize it. And the point I want to ask you using slides 16 and 17. Yeah, using slides 16 and 17.

00:39:35--> 00:39:36

I want you to tell me

00:39:38--> 00:39:40

how it is that adult has become a social construct.

00:39:42--> 00:40:00

And its biological equivalent. Any questions before we start? Okay, let's, I'll give you about five minutes. 10 Five, five minutes is good. Yeah. And then we'll come back and speak about St. John. Okay, so let's, let's feed back then inshallah we'll start with with you off, man. We'll start with the first

00:40:00--> 00:40:45

source that we looked at together, which was postman in his book disappearance of childhood. So what have you, what does this all say? So essentially, the source comes to, comes to the conclusion that the norm was that there was no definition of a man, or like a teenager, for example, that you were literally a child. And then once you were at a certain age of they call it the Age of Reason sevenish for a guy, then you're a man. And actually, for you to be a young man wasn't, as we know, today as like a teenager in their 20s, like 30s 40s, for example, so that there wasn't that kind of distinction. They didn't have, for example, primary schools. It mentioned a source that when they

00:40:45--> 00:41:06

went to school at the age of 10, like boarding school, they studied alongside other peoples of a range of different ages. So the concept that we have, as you know, child teenager adult didn't exist for as a source as many centuries. And there actually wasn't a definition in English, the Germanic languages, and also in Latin, French,

00:41:07--> 00:41:11

for a young male, so essentially comes to the conclusion that

00:41:13--> 00:41:48

it it's abnormal for us to consider teenagers, it was literally a child and a man. And that was based on reason, your biology. So what do you think then? Let me ask you a question to probe you on the matter. Right. So what do you think some of the reasons are? That now if, especially if we're speaking about the western context, but certainly if we even in the international context, I would say, Eastern and Western but more prominently in the West, we have seemingly a very strict definition of what an adult is, what do you think the historical factors which led to this conclusion are? And why do you think we consider an adult to be someone that's, for example, 18, or

00:41:48--> 00:41:53

16? is a good question. My opinion just from hearing that

00:41:54--> 00:41:59

it's probably to do with laws and regulations, and just their kind of

00:42:00--> 00:42:29

experience. So you know, how old you have to be to drive? Well, you have to be an adult to drive and what was considered an adult, smoking drinking alcohol in this country? I think it's as easy as saying 18 is the age where you can, you're permitted to do a variety of different actions, which are considered as an adult, but it's just me just thinking, I think you're definitely on the right track. So I wanted to kind of expand this as a group as expanded us and open it to everyone here, which is, I want to expand this question, which is that

00:42:30--> 00:42:34

we were talking about some of the laws taarak. In the past, that,

00:42:36--> 00:43:17

you know, the idea of adulthood, especially visa vie marriage was completely different. Can you expand on this point? A little bit? Yes. In the laws of England, we have. In 1822, we have a published document, which describes the laws of England and Scotland. Now in Scotland, there was no marriageable age, there was no, but it was understood at seven years old. And it's in the document is itself and in England, it was nine years old. So these are actually literally written in the laws of England. Fantastic. Meeting 22. And yeah, it's not just saying this is America as well, you have most of the states were kind of that age work with a marriageable age. But let me put something in

00:43:17--> 00:44:06

for you, which is that around the beginning of the 20th century, so the first early bit of 1900s, yes, you you had an act, the Marriage Act. And this marriage act was an act, which changed the marriage age in England, at that time, it was 12 years old, up to 16. Okay, this is enshrined in British laws, you can find it easily. And then a lot of the countries that Britain had been the colonial master for effectively had changed in lieu with that particular change. What event took place in the early parts of the 20th century, which do think had an impact on this and why would you say the world was under them, just because I know from the feminist movement, World War One or the

00:44:06--> 00:44:15

men went to war, so the women had to kind of take responsibility of the man's job. So given the extra responsibility that they undertook during wartime

00:44:17--> 00:44:53

they perhaps advocate for equal rights or better rights or something like this, because they were fulfilling the man's traditional role whereas the man was on the frontline at that time. That's one thing. You're definitely right in, in in citing World War One because World War One obviously, as you know, 1914 1918 took place and these laws took these laws took full form after that time, so you'll find that some of these laws, the Marriage Act itself was 1924 and stuff like that. This was also an industrial vision to the industrial regions in the late 1800s and stuff like that. So now we're, we're past World War One. And you also want to mention first wave feminism, because first

00:44:53--> 00:45:00

wave feminism are among the things that first wave feminism was advocating wasn't

00:45:00--> 00:45:00


00:45:02--> 00:45:30

was, in fact, you know, the marriage to go down for some reason for whatever incentive they had for it, they did do that. What we know as well as that the the Marriage Act, or they usually cite like 1918 is the year that we wouldn't got emancipation in terms of the vote. While that was only women over the age of 35, it took another 10 to 15 years for women at the age of 18. To get the vote, by the way, which is interesting. But the question here is now,

00:45:32--> 00:45:33

the question here is,

00:45:35--> 00:45:51

yes, the question was asked was, why do you think a government would decide to open up a little bit? Why do you think the government or a government would decide that let's change the age effectively?

00:45:52--> 00:46:37

Or the idea of when it is to be an adult? After World War One, in particular, what they put this way? What economic benefit? Would it have to education, increased education, tell me more, because I'm just thinking the source mentioned that there was no primary schools. Now we're talking, it's a structural method that you can use, were indoctrinated. That's another topic, but you kind of have a formulated procedure of how you can educate the workforce. So from a child all the way up to a certain age. So the introduction of primary school, and the introduction of classes where it's based on gradation, for example, so this idea of gradation and a primary school, secondary school, college

00:46:37--> 00:46:41

university was always there and no, no, no, okay.

00:46:42--> 00:46:52

Yeah, okay, fine. Now, once you've put that in place now, that primary school, secondary school, college, university, whatever it may be, right, you've now put this in place, what impact you think that's gonna have?

00:46:55--> 00:46:55


00:46:56--> 00:47:14

tell me what you mean by that comparative advantage. So mentioning that it benefits economies, and it lets you compete with other nations. So this is a good point. So he's saying, for example, right like this, this economic idea that came about also in a very similar time period,

00:47:16--> 00:47:42

Adam Smith mentioned that Ricardo mentioned, and others, this idea of comparative advantage, you know that now we need specialists, okay. And then the specialists can create things, whether it's manufacturing, whether it's inventions, like, don't forget, we won't have some of the inventions that we have today, unless we have specialists who spent years and universities understanding that thing. So you need to have a culture of specialism, which can only be brought about through education, right?

00:47:44--> 00:47:50

Same pin factory, everyone having each job? Yes, instead of making the pin one.

00:47:51--> 00:47:58

Exactly. Everyone makes the part of the pin and maximizes efficiency. There you have it. So after World War One, why do you think they were thinking in these ways?

00:48:01--> 00:48:31

Competing? Yes. Now the situation is it wasn't settled. After World War One, they knew that anything could happen. You had all these European nations now that we need to be at the top of our game. In America, we need to be at the top of our game, we need to have technological advancements, we need to rebuild economically. And the best way of doing that is to have a robust system of education, which connects the idea of once you've passed this rite of passage, which is the education system,

00:48:32--> 00:48:37

then you can be then you can be called what an adult, an adult?

00:48:38--> 00:48:39

Do you see

00:48:40--> 00:48:55

this idea is this because I've never never come across this way of looking at it. This is as you've just because you're the reason why I told you to read the the postman source, is because in a way, he's indicating this. Now he's not going into as much detail.

00:48:57--> 00:49:00

But in a way, he's indicating this

00:49:01--> 00:49:17

adulthood has always been inextricably linked with two or three things. Number one, education when you finish education, and when you when you know enough, number two, the age of consent, sexual age of consent. And number three

00:49:19--> 00:49:21

is when you can go to prison

00:49:22--> 00:49:52

when you can go to prison and serve sentences in this country got young offenders Institute's and stuff like that. But it's these three things, our education, I would say in many ways is the primary factor or is the thing that in many ways, in the West is okay you are an adult when you have finished your education. But is that a scientific measure? No. No. Okay, now and concerning. So pragmatic method is something which you can see has certain economic impact on the

00:49:53--> 00:50:00

economies of the Western world and the world in general. You can see the benefits of it, why they're doing it. Yes, because the cost

00:50:00--> 00:50:25

And that was also in the interim, he said, So if these guys want to taxation, one that just put the kids into, into the factory, right? If you if you really just want if these guys just want money, and you're telling me that adulthood is connected to adulthood is connected to education, so it doesn't make sense because surely having them in the in the workforce in the age of 1011 1213, would make them more money. And that's exactly what happened in the industrial revolution. And they learned the lessons from the Industrial Revolution.

00:50:26--> 00:51:01

Because we saw from the industrial revolution that these kids were getting diseases contracting this and that, we saw the kinds of problems or psychological issues it was there was no long longevity in it. And in fact, yes, although there was a lot of inventions in this kind of things, it didn't have the economic impact. And in the long run, that they would desirable economic impact. Of course, it was an important time in history, and the steam engine and these kinds of things were there. But there was also a lot anyone that studies this will say that there was a lot of negative thing that happened, invasions, diseases and this and that we don't want to put people in these environments.

00:51:02--> 00:51:23

But what they found was a better method was to put these youngsters into an education system. And then they can come out and produce the next weapon, or they can come out and produce the next we'll find out that they can get the Oppenheimer you wouldn't have an Oppenheimer, you know, Oppenheimer, the guy that the atomic bomb you guys know best about the number you physicist, right?

00:51:25--> 00:52:04

You wouldn't have an Oppenheimer, if you didn't have a PhD system, there's no way this guy is going to find out, you will become as 11 year old and start reading books. And now it's less likely he needed to be surrounded by the right there's Oppenheimer by the wrong people of history, I should say not even the right people to say you can come and produce the the atomic bomb and blow up Hiroshima, Nagasaki, they wanted they needed this. So it was actually in the economic benefit to put bit more investment r&d Time for these youngsters, then let them graduate a little bit afterwards. Why not? Yeah. And just to confirm, we're not saying this is a bad method, we're just saying this

00:52:04--> 00:52:17

method brought the idea of an adult. Yeah, we're not talking about good or bad here. We're just we're explaining because just to remind you, right? We started off by saying that the idea of adulthood is what

00:52:18--> 00:52:23

the idea of adulthood is what initially dissociate? What is the idea of adulthood?

00:52:26--> 00:52:27

What is it? Is this one?

00:52:28--> 00:52:34

No, but what is it in the western above a certain age? Something that begins with S?

00:52:36--> 00:52:37

social, social constructs?

00:52:40--> 00:52:42

Paying attention Have you got you got the slides?

00:52:44--> 00:52:50

So the idea of adulthood in the West is what a social construct? What is a social construct? What's the definition of it?

00:52:51--> 00:53:07

You've got it in the flight. It's an idea accepted by people. It's created, created and accepted by people. Sure. Okay. So we're trying to explain how it came to be essentially a social construct. We're looking at equal the historical factors. What?

00:53:08--> 00:53:10

Yes, so what's the first point we made?

00:53:12--> 00:53:35

The social contract theory is the idea that it's made by the people. Okay. What's the how do you prove that the idea of adulthood is a social construct? What's the first thing we look at history? History history? Excellent. So and in history, is the idea of adulthood the same? Or is it different to how he is now it's very, very different. You just read a source who wrote the source? It's post postman, or The Postman Pat was or someone else.

00:53:37--> 00:54:20

The disappearance of childhood or excellent and what he said, What's he trying to say? He's basically saying that the idea of a of a child is, it's very different. It's emerged more so now, there was no such thing as it was, was this you just child, another adult, young teen or sort of this gradation? And elimination? Exactly. Is not that extended the age of? Yeah. So then we looked at the economic factors, and what did we say it was in the interest of the Western powers to have this idea of adulthood extended, right? Okay, so you have now explaining why and how the social construct of an adult began in the 21st 20th to 21st century. There's economic factors and this

00:54:20--> 00:54:39

historical factors, you see, but then it's the idea of a social construct, or the idea of an adult, an 18 year old adult. Effectively, this just for the sake of argument called him. The 18 year old adult thesis is the 18 year old adult thesis as a social construct. Is that a social construct

00:54:40--> 00:54:59

than the idea of pedophilia, okay, which can which constitutes being with someone below this age, is also a social social construct. You can't use the socially constructed ideas to try and enforce upon me or anybody else, what is considered cool

00:55:00--> 00:55:00

Right morality or not.

00:55:02--> 00:55:12

It's the equivalent of going to me with transgenderism as an idea, and telling me that I have to accept who's ever

00:55:13--> 00:55:18

idea of gender is proposing it. So for example, if someone says I'm a female, but the X Y,

00:55:19--> 00:55:29

is the equivalent of you telling me to accept that this person's ex ex is the equivalent of me accepting that an 18 year olds, an adult, it has as much scientific basis.

00:55:31--> 00:55:46

And I was asked you show me or you've read a source from Putnam, can you tell me more about the scientific basis element? Yeah, so this is an extract from the journal Nature, which is probably the most well known and famous journal internal biology.

00:55:47--> 00:56:15

And this extract states that we have divorced, our understanding of puberty from our social understanding of adulthood, and how we have prolonged prolonged adolescence. And we have also prolonged the education system and training. And, and we have postponed the reproductive

00:56:16--> 00:56:30

age to later than we should be for most people, which is so low the age of it. So this goes back into that idea that so what social social construct, how can these people, I'm actually quite impressed by it. After somebody asked me.

00:56:31--> 00:56:40

Um, I'm so impressed that these people have been able to use especially on the right, a socially constructed idea and make it to us seem like reality.

00:56:42--> 00:56:45

Do you see what I mean? Because let me ask you a question for now, honestly.

00:56:46--> 00:57:11

And I go back to this point about what is a woman? Yeah, Matt Walsh's famous documentary? What is a woman? They will making fun of these people that we're seeing a woman is wherever they, you know, she defines herself as or her experience. And I'm not gonna say, Don't make fun of these social constructs. Go to the same people and ask them one question, what is an adult? The moment they tell you at age, they give you whatever age they may give you.

00:57:13--> 00:57:28

By the way, this is a win win situation for you. So if you're, if you're speaking to one of these right, wing's people, yeah, you ask them one question, what's an adult? And I'm not going to move forward until you answer me this one question, what is an adult? Now let me give you a possible response. They could say an adult was an 18 year old and above,

00:57:29--> 00:57:38

say, how do you prove this? That's a legalistic definition. How can is this scientific? It's a social construct, use an arbitrary social construct.

00:57:39--> 00:57:45

And we will can explain this social construct. But how do you prove that the 18 year old is the scientific age? There's no way of proving it scientifically.

00:57:47--> 00:58:05

Okay, they can go the other route and say an adult is someone who is physically mentally capable, that's vague. Give us what you mean, oh, muscular skeletal system? puberty, they'd have to give these kinds of things. Okay. The moment you start saying musculoskeletal, we are claiming Ayesha fulfilled all those conditions.

00:58:06--> 00:58:21

And she even says it herself this hadith. So she says herself, I feel this condition. Okay. So it's loose for you. So if we start with the question of what is an adult they lose? Because if they say it's an 18 year old social construct, if they say it's, hmm, if they say it's

00:58:24--> 00:58:46

it's biological, they lose. It's a lose lose situation. It's like before we discussed this, and we said, there's two ways you can have a discussion with them and say, Why is it immoral? Is it categorically wrong? Or is it consequentially wrong? And if they says consequentially wrongly say why the harm then they have to prove the harm burden of proof is upon them again. This is another way because this is these are we call logical dis junctures.

00:58:47--> 00:59:03

It's a good way of debating, you start with to give them two options, give somebody two options, or maybe even three options. But it's it's called the process of elimination. It's called an eliminated argument. Because this is like the Quran does this all the time?

00:59:05--> 00:59:20

It's either we or you are on the truth. In that, Oh, yeah. Kamala houden Alfredo, Fidel, MOV, that's either us or you that are on, on on the true path or misguided there's only two options. Either we're on the right path, we're not on the right path.

00:59:22--> 00:59:47

I'm fully human hydroshare moment or you create from nothing that is disjunctive. That's called illogical, destructive. So we're saying the same thing was an adult, you've got two options. An adult is an 18 year old or 16 year old or 14 year old, whatever, okay, that's an adult. Tell me why and our proven scientifically, in the same way as you'd be happy to go to somebody and make fun of them. But what is a woman I want you to prove it to me scientifically that this 18 is the right age. Okay, you can't you can't Can't you

00:59:49--> 01:00:00

of these Western worlds, these countries fall into pedophilia, because in France, it's 15 in UK 16 Yeah, America is 14. So now you put all of it I even say

01:00:00--> 01:00:07

You, consciously believable pitifully. But you see, you see how we're starting off with this conversation? So because sometimes we do it the other way around, we see what as a child.

01:00:09--> 01:00:14

You see the different the problem here? Because if you start off with asking what is the child, it's not as powerful.

01:00:15--> 01:00:45

If you say what's a child and they say, Well, this and that and whatever, it's more defensive. But if you say what is an adult? Because that's the threshold that you were linking, we're leading to this point of adulthood, we're claiming this point has been reached. So let's tell me what an adult is. Because my claim is at this point has been reached with as your claim is not. So tell me what's an adult or 18 year old? Prove it to me scientifically? Oh, you can't? So it's a social construct. Oh, it's not. Okay. So what is it then? Another is oh, it has to be biological, oh, it's been fulfilled.

01:00:46--> 01:01:03

So as you as you go, biology, we go social construct is a social construct, you cannot use a social construct. That's a man made mythology fiction. You're using a mythology, a legend, Western legend, to try and try and put my religion down. Just because you and your friends decided 100 years ago.

01:01:05--> 01:01:11

For the all of humanity, if this was clear, as day as you your definitions of this adulthood was so clear,

01:01:13--> 01:01:29

then how could it be cross culturally in order to Africans, the Jamaicans this one that the Native Americans, the Asian, the Indian, all of this, they didn't have didn't share your conception for 1000s of years? 1000s It's the first time it's coming up in the last couple 100 years?

01:01:31--> 01:01:38

You if it's painfully obvious, how could it be painfully obvious? It's not painfully obvious. That's the problem.

01:01:40--> 01:01:47

That's the problem. It's not it's not painfully obvious. So you see, this is one of the most contentious

01:01:48--> 01:01:56

objections against Islam. And what is it based on? Spider Web arguments, arbitrary arguments? Can you Wallahi and you can ask Aladar, he will tell you this.

01:01:58--> 01:02:01

This is the most repeated objection against Islam.

01:02:02--> 01:02:03

Probably number one.

01:02:04--> 01:02:11

Number one, he's been on the Dow for 10 years, he'll tell you, would you agree? Probably number one, this is this number one.

01:02:12--> 01:02:19

And and this is how, you know the easiest thing to deal with. If you think about it, just purely take the emotion out of the equation.

01:02:20--> 01:02:22

Take it out, let's purely logically

01:02:24--> 01:02:25

the easiest thing in the world to deal with.

01:02:27--> 01:02:35

But would you accept this, they have to use an emotional argument. They have to they have to preach to the choir, they have to mention something like that. But if you don't,

01:02:36--> 01:02:56

we're in good standing. Now, there's another argument so the social construct argument if you want to call it that is the first thing I want to present to you today. About I show that I didn't present in that way before. Yeah. Why has it been 10 years since you know, a couple of hot to kill him if you had a few few ladies Furthermore, that he was as I spoke about this somewhere else, you know,

01:02:58--> 01:03:08

can we talk about this actually think a lot, but we have to hit new angles now. Otherwise, we just, you know, it's it's good. It's going to be repetitive. So that's one new angle that social contract. Okay, what's the new and what's the other new angle?

01:03:09--> 01:03:13

The other the other new angle boys that I actually had to pay for these.

01:03:14--> 01:03:15

For these studies in it,

01:03:16--> 01:03:23

I'll pay for the journals. You're not going to get this for free. So what you're about to see these journals and stuff like that, well, this one is free, but the next one is not.

01:03:24--> 01:04:00

Is the argument I want to make about jealousy? Okay? Because look, so I'm gonna say okay, we're talking about Sierra here. So tell me about the relationship between Russia and the Prophet. I'm telling you the relationship with Russia and the Prophet was that she was extremely jealous and possessive of him. Okay, now, what does jealousy and possessive behavior actually indicate? Love, love? But so what are they trying to portray has some kind of a captive, right? She's forced, okay, now, the first thing I want to produce you is this connection which is inextricable and understood by the psychologists as to be a proper connection in what we refer to as romantic love. Now,

01:04:01--> 01:04:18

romantic love is different to any love, and romantic jealousy is different to any jealousy. So what I'm proposing to you guys is the following is that the fact that she does so many hotdogs, so many hotties now come across one of them just now, there are so many of them that indicate extreme possessiveness.

01:04:19--> 01:04:32

It shows that she was clearly she knew what was going to happen. She knew what she wanted. And she wanted the Prophet Muhammad Allah, more so than anybody else. Actually, no one else in the Sierra showed as much jealousy and possessiveness as she did.

01:04:34--> 01:04:49

So look at this, for example, right? This is a definition of romantic jealousy is a complex emotion activated by a real perceived threat to the relationship. romantic jealousy is an important phenomenon in public health, as it brings consequences for the subject, the couple and the rival even to the point of death.

01:04:51--> 01:04:53

Anyway, continues, that's just one of the ones to get like a

01:04:55--> 01:04:59

definition. Now this is a very famous Hadith and Allah uses it all the time in his public work.

01:05:00--> 01:05:13

I have there was a particular woman that came to the Waffle House Salem, and she presents you she was one of his wives. And she presented food to the table and she smashed to the plate. And then the process is a little harder to overcome. That your your your mother has is,

01:05:15--> 01:05:19

is become jealous, okay? She smashed the plate is smashing the plate,

01:05:20--> 01:05:33

why smash prophesy son picked it up and says, you know, very calm shows the mean of the Prophet, it shows the relationship of the wife, in fact to know he has a lot to say about this is there's a cuddle, there is a portion of jealousy,

01:05:34--> 01:05:37

which is acceptable, and that the woman will not even be accountable for.

01:05:39--> 01:06:11

But it doesn't mean that you can do anything, especially in a polygamous situation, everyone accepts that in polygamy the woman is going to be especially the first wife is going to be very jealous, or the second is a third wife in the equation. Because it's the one usually who is the sub this like it's been done to her. There's jealousy as well, it doesn't mean the second wife is not gonna have as much jealousy. But it's usually the case because jealousy is defined. If you look at Islamic definition of what is jealousy is cut our hair to mush or rock or something like that. It's not hating to be shared. So there's an idea there. And this by the way I've looked at in the

01:06:11--> 01:06:13

psychological definition is the same thing.

01:06:14--> 01:06:17

Psychological definition is you don't like to be shared.

01:06:18--> 01:06:55

Okay, so obviously, who's being shared, the second wife is sharing the first the husband with the first wife. So the the second wife has to be a little bit more pragmatic and polygamous situation. Like she can't show more jokes in the first hour, she does this unusual behavior. That's to be honest with you, because it's the first wife that you know. And it's the same thing of a third wife gets into the equation, then the second wife gets it. That's why people say like, one guy comes to a show. And he asked him in Harlem, Mickey, he said to my two wives are fighting, what should I do get a third? Because they'll do an alliance against it? You know, and that's true. It's very predictable

01:06:55--> 01:07:04

behavior. Sometimes, you know, the second wife can say, all these kinds of things. You know what this and that and why doesn't she accept the Hakama of Allah, and this and that, and the moment I said, Welcome to the acquaintance, you becomes a belligerent person.

01:07:07--> 01:07:27

You know, it's the hypocrisy. But the idea is, don't be, you know, pretend to be something that you're not holier than thou, you had to enjoy something much less than the first one did, and the second one, much more than a third one did, and so on and so forth. But we've understood what jealousy is. And it is this hate to be romantic jealousy is this hate to be shared effectively?

01:07:30--> 01:07:36

Now, this is very interesting. And I'll, I'll break this as well, because I want you to summarize these next couple of

01:07:37--> 01:07:57

psychological thing. I had to pay money for this for this particular this guy, Aaron, Ben Zeev to pay money to actually get his because I wanted to see what he has to say because apparently is, but I'll give you one thing that he says this in this very interesting and I read this, I've actually in that book that I recommended, she had mis education of women in the back of the book. He was talking about jealousy studies as well, actually.

01:07:58--> 01:08:06

Truly, yeah, this is James talese wrote the book. And it's interesting that the patterns of jealousy are different for men or women.

01:08:08--> 01:08:17

Like, for example, one thing that kept coming out, or you'll see in the slides here as well, is that when they've done studies on men and women, romantic jealousy, women are more likely to be jealous over a man

01:08:19--> 01:08:20

who loves another woman.

01:08:22--> 01:08:28

But bear this in mind, well, that is a very interesting, you need to know, if you want to be successful in life, you need to know how jealousy operates.

01:08:29--> 01:08:48

I'm telling you the truth, whether it's jealousy between friends, between family members, or between wives, even though you might hamdulillah Jonnie, never, ever do polygamy or anything like this, but it's still important, because it's not just the word Bible, it could be the mother in law and the wife. Sometimes the relationship between the mother in law and the wife can be like having two wives.

01:08:49--> 01:09:04

Sometimes even the sister in law and the wife can be like that. Sometimes two sisters can be so you have to be able to identify those things really quickly. And you see the behavior possessive behavior if you cannot see that, you're going to fail, because you don't even know if you're going to think it's irrational.

01:09:05--> 01:09:11

It's unpredictable behavior gonna be like You're, you're in a storm, you don't know what's going on. But if you understand okay, I understand what's happening here.

01:09:12--> 01:09:17

And you're if you try and use a hammer to crack open a chestnut, you're going to have all the things in your face.

01:09:19--> 01:09:20

You need to use one of those

01:09:21--> 01:09:44

nut cracker slow pressures you have to understand honestly, you know honestly, what why are you going to use a hammer? I think you just now and I get like a big Sledgehammer start smashing, smashing the stupid guy because I'm trying to use this is a big hammer. This is the No, you have to know that this is a jealous. So I'm gonna use the thing and crack it slowly.

01:09:45--> 01:09:46

Open up

01:09:51--> 01:09:55

I'm not going to, you know, don't go against the wave. Okay, so jealousy is what?

01:09:57--> 01:10:00

One of the things is that a woman as we said in this study,

01:10:00--> 01:10:06

As you'll see, she's more likely psychologically speaking, to feel like if you love another woman

01:10:08--> 01:10:10

that she'll get jealous of this

01:10:12--> 01:10:27

pound for pound, but the man if you if the woman has done something sexual with another man, his like focus, let me give an example. Let me give an example. Let's say, case study a case study a woman marries a man, but she has been with a man before she was over man before and now she's marrying you. Yeah.

01:10:29--> 01:10:31

But she's still in love with that guy.

01:10:32--> 01:10:43

A little bit. Maybe she has some feelings for maybe she's not in love by Okay. Some men, some men will manage this say okay, you know what, so long as you're not chatting to him, if you're not talking to him. I can I can deal with this situation.

01:10:44--> 01:10:55

it's manageable. For some men, some men will be like, No, forget this find out my life given. But compare situation a with situation b, the woman is talking to another man and she's been doing sexual contact.

01:10:56--> 01:11:12

There's no comparison between two right? Situation A you can you can imagine. But even if you remove religion from the equation, situation two is normal can tolerate this, no one can tolerate this, the man is not tolerate this behavior. As if you flip it over.

01:11:17--> 01:11:19

And the woman, you have two situations,

01:11:20--> 01:11:31

she is in love. Sorry, the man is in love with another woman. He still loves her. She might be she cannot tolerate that. She might not have thought of that. But if you had sex

01:11:32--> 01:12:00

with another, then I don't know, I just switched it to the second person. But if a man had second another woman, okay, it's not as severe for her. Now, obviously, there's exceptions and can't generalize. And this and that. And I don't know what the comments are gonna say. But I'm just saying these are the psychological studies. That's what the studies show that the sexual infidelity for a man is much worse. And for a woman, the romantic infidelity is much worse. Once you know that.

01:12:03--> 01:12:05

It's much better to know that

01:12:06--> 01:12:10

it's much better to know that it's not as important to know that as a man, it's been very important.

01:12:13--> 01:12:31

And I'm not going to go into detail. But what I want to do is in the interim, we just read the three slides. And we'll do the same thing. We look at the will summarize it and then we'll go into the last bit of the session which we're going to talk about Sofia winter hay and we end it with that inshallah. Any questions before we proceed?

01:12:32--> 01:12:33

No, okay.

01:12:34--> 01:12:50

I was relying on our homeless come back. I'll start with you, Shamir. Tell me some of the things that you've read there from First of all, who's the Who's the person who wrote this one, Carlos Sierra, from the University of Grenada. Okay, that's one and the other one is Aaron. What's his name? I

01:12:51--> 01:12:53

haven't written ZeeVee.

01:12:55--> 01:13:02

I'm not sure about them. But this study compares 230 previous series as of 2016

01:13:04--> 01:13:55

and basically classifies what are the reasons for romantic jealousy and he categorizes the reasons as three. So the first one is personal variables. The second one is interpersonal variables. And the third one is socio cultural variables. So personal variables are like differences in sex, sexual orientation, self esteem, etc. The interpersonal variables are love and satisfaction and violence. And the social cultural variables are the trans cultural comparisons. And features of the rival and social networks. Are the other slides now. So that's, yeah, abstract. Okay. So, yeah, so he, he or she, he says that jealousy is not simply lose is not simply the fear of losing the other person is

01:13:55--> 01:13:57

this This isn't it's not as simple as that.

01:13:58--> 01:14:02

And because most people do not consider the person to be their property.

01:14:04--> 01:14:48

And they also compare the romantic love to the parental love. Whereas in the parental love, you consider the person to be an extension of yourself. So you know, people say my other half, stuff like that. So that's similar to your parents will love whoever the distinction that he makes between parents love and romantic love is the idea of exclusivity. So the other person, when you're in love with someone, you expect them to be exclusive to you. So this idea when you're talking, I share with a loved one. And the Jesse started to kick in when he was an exclusive to her anymore. So that is one of the main factors that he says

01:14:49--> 01:14:59

that dry drives jealousy in a matrix. If you look at the slide number, what number is the disguise slides? I think it's number 22 Right? Eight

01:15:00--> 01:15:00


01:15:03--> 01:15:06

know, I'm here I'm going I'm fast forwarding 22.

01:15:07--> 01:15:08


01:15:11--> 01:15:15

Actually, sorry 23 page 23 Jealousy and love.

01:15:17--> 01:15:21

Off. Mike, can you read out the whole slide for me? I'll tell you when to stop.

01:15:22--> 01:15:47

Jealousy is frequently interpreted as a sign of caring and love. And many incidences show a positive correlation between jealousy romantic love, like love. Jealousy typically presupposes some type of commitment underlying the relationship. And it cannot arise if our attitude is utter indifference. The characteristics underlying our love are those that we most fear to lose. And they are thus at the basic of our jealousy, racism.

01:15:49--> 01:16:19

In this sense, it has been claimed that jealousy is the shadow of love. Thus, a woman who fell in love with her husband, because he made her the center of his world, or because he made her finally come home, will be most jealous if these aspects begin to disappear when her relationship with her spouse is undermined by another person, and she begins to feel insecure, abandoned and alone. Tell me what do you think? How do we what do you think this? Knowing that right? How does this apply to the process of elimination?

01:16:21--> 01:16:23

What we're what we're trying to prove here, what we're trying to show.

01:16:26--> 01:17:09

Their relationship is evidence that there was no coercion, or that she did not want to be in it because haha, in this argument, we make a lot of arguments, but we never let Ayesha's life with the Prophet Saharsa Aha. So tell us, can we expand on this a little bit? Do what is a common narrative that let's say, the right wing that you've interacted with, and others would want to try and put that there? What kind of relationship was that it was a power dynamic that that you know, the prophet I was a biller, he was oppressive to Aisha, and that it was one way he was forceful. He made her do acts against her well, for example, whereas what the what it's self evident based on our

01:17:09--> 01:17:33

sources, and what's written here, that she was jealous in a in a positive way, in a way that showed that she had immense love and affection for the Prophet, meaning that it wasn't this way it was mutual. In fact, maybe it was one sided from her side, when the Prophet had many different wives. And she wanted to have as much attention as can be. So that's how, what did you read about jealousy here and love?

01:17:37--> 01:17:52

That Jealousy is a sign of love. Haha, let me tell you something. I mean, this is just one source. But I think many people would agree. romantic jealousy is the number one way number one, which you can tell someone loves you in a romantic way.

01:17:53--> 01:17:56

There's no There's no other better way of finding that out.

01:17:58--> 01:18:08

If you think about it, think about how someone can express their love to you. If, for example, and this is the catch 22 For us brothers, right? Let's say for example, you get second wife.

01:18:10--> 01:18:24

And your wife says like, okay, whatever, when she's completely indifferent. That may be it may be an indication that she didn't actually love you. To be honest. If there's no reaction whatsoever, this is a real problem.

01:18:25--> 01:18:43

Yeah, it's like, what the hell's going on? What's going on here? If you get a second wife and your wife isn't, she's okay with it. I'll cancel the whole procedure automatically. Because it shows automatically that brought us that's, that's crazy. It's actually looking for especially for a woman. Yeah, okay. It's in their blood. You should never be she smashes the place, say, I'm the Lord's perfect.

01:18:45--> 01:18:49

Obviously, you know, things we have to smash the places. But

01:18:52--> 01:19:19

But what I was gonna say was, at the end of the day, it's a very, but then. So in our as, as Muslims, we're saying the narrative that we're putting forward is actually not religious. You want to be there? Because we've shown two things already today that the process Salam gave her an option to leave. Okay, remember that one, we said that. We were hearing that when we say the process and the option to leave, and they have been to John, the woman that he married, and then she said other polemic. And then he left her, straightaway, told her to go to the hammer, right.

01:19:20--> 01:19:30

So we gave these evidences and we showed, so you've got two aspects here. He gave her an option to leave a and b, she showed extreme jealousy, sure to give an option to all of the wives of the Prophet

01:19:31--> 01:19:34

was gonna divorce them or divorce them. Yeah, he gave them an option. All of them to this.

01:19:36--> 01:19:59

Yeah. Yeah. So. So you've got two things here, which completely disrupt this idea. You see that? Okay. Well, he's, it's a coercive relationship. It's a manipulative relationship, that he was getting her to do things that she didn't want to do that this was a kind of puppeteering and he was some kind of ventriloquist and this and that, and it was making. No, it wasn't that kind of relationship. So let's see right in

01:20:00--> 01:20:17

indicates that this was a love relationship. There was there was symmetrical love. That was when the Prophet was asked about how he who's the person you love the most? He will did He say, Asha? He said he mentioned her. And then he said after her who said her father. So you know, her father

01:20:19--> 01:20:25

was the teacher? No. Obviously, she was not alive at the time. So he probably assumed of the people that were alive.

01:20:26--> 01:21:04

Obviously, we saw it from the angle, if we look at Yusuf Ali Salaam and his brothers, you can see what the jealousy from the brothers angle done as well, where they plotted to get rid of him just to have the Father's love. So it shows why it's so important jealousy factor and love is differentiate between jealousy and envy. And obviously, this idea of you can want something somebody else has. But if you want them not to have it now is anything namah it becomes very corrosive. Yeah, it has had now at this point, you know, obviously Alfa Sally has a whole thing about this. Dean, very interesting how he breaks that down if someone wants to read that. Okay, now we're gonna go on to

01:21:04--> 01:21:06

the final wife of the Prophet Muhammad Salah Salem, we've already indicated.

01:21:08--> 01:21:25

Some of the things here we've just to summarize this point, what did we say? But because this is might come up in a lot of the discussions that you guys are going to have about Islam. There are two arguments that we've already made. Okay. And they haven't mentioned the ethical arguments that we've spoken about before and other lessons because it we've spoken about that quite considerable length.

01:21:27--> 01:21:39

But there's two arguments we made today. Number one argument was what social construct called social construct that adulthood is really according to them as a social construct. And for them to use a social construct to try and attack something on an objective level is fallacious. Simple as that.

01:21:40--> 01:22:01

That's a B, we said, in order to combat this idea that this was a coercive relationship or manipulative relationship. We said what was genossen love, she had possessive jealousy and clear love. But the jealousy is the best evidence of the of the love. And we've shown that in romantic relationships. Jealousy is a clear indication of love, right?

01:22:03--> 01:22:38

So this dispels the historical a historical point that this was some kind of a manipulative relationship with the power dynamic that was being abused and all these kinds of things. Now we move on to another question. One other wife, which is Sofia been to Hawaii. Now we will cover obviously coryza Kurata, there were three main tribes of the Jews, there has been a developmental car and bento Carrera. And this bundle coryza is the most controversial of all three of them. And we'll speak about this in greater detail. And potentially and we spoke about controversy today, the most controversial up there and the top three events at the time of the drama in our times, especially

01:22:38--> 01:22:38


01:22:39--> 01:23:14

anti semitism the rise and say, Look, your Prophet killed all these people in Benin. coryza he killed 600 people, you know, which is not exactly what happened anyway, because there was a pact and we'll speak about this more between the prophet and the Jews, which was bought we spoke about in the two lessons prior. And they went against all this particular tribe of the Jews, not all of them. I mean, there were different things that happened to different tribes, but this particular tribe of the Jews went against the pact. They attacked and even by the way, Karen Armstrong mentions this, in her book, she got she people that are non Muslim, acknowledge that this was something which was

01:23:14--> 01:23:25

military operation, which this particular tribe benoquin, Haha, sorry about Uncle Eva. They joined the pagans in one particular battle, which we're going to speak about more detail called Battle of Zab.

01:23:27--> 01:23:47

And so what happened was that there were treacherous to the original Constitution they came in, and the Prophet Muhammad wa sallam, he left side of them, I think it was determined their fate. He was the he was the judge. And the judgment was all of the combatants amongst them more than male combatants, that there will be killed. There'll be

01:23:48--> 01:24:28

killed, killed off. Now, if you look at what's happening with Hamas and Israel today, this is not the Subhanallah the same people that will criticize Islam, which we've had enough of now we're done with this nonsense. The same people are justifying not the killing of men, and combating men with weapons, they are justifying the killing of babies. You see, they will tell you a slam on your prophet was this and that the most controversial thing in military terms that you can even bring out against the Prophet was this incident or whatever. And what did he do? He made sure to spare the women and children. This is what we're asking you to do.

01:24:29--> 01:24:39

If you if no one is going against the fact that you want to fight men and fight them, and kill them even want to fight our men and kill them. Go ahead. No man is gonna say to you,

01:24:40--> 01:25:00

we have a problem. We don't even apply double standards here. We're saying men fine men are men getting no problem. Those combatants which everyone by the time was armed, because someone can have a secondary objection and say, Well, you guys, you're complaining with all these men. We're coming out of the Palestinian men with the the underwear and you're telling me that anyone know

01:25:00--> 01:25:29

of age, blah, blah, blah, it's a completely different situation for the following reason. The reason is that because there's 50,000 Hamas fighters, for example, right 30,000 50,000 And only those guys have guns. They're combatants. Okay, the non combatants, the ones who are living with their pajamas and living in Honduras and these other places. Why are you taking them out of the situation? Everyone was every man that was capable had a sword. We either have guns back, then you'd have machine guns or you know, RPGs.

01:25:31--> 01:26:01

So every guy had a sword. That's it is common to have two swords. In fact, they had one sort of they put inside the thing is like the Handy sword, the daily sword, and they had the long sword. So how do you find a combatant? A guy with good guns or knives? Yeah, how do you? How do you find them? Nowadays, we look at the uniform, we say this person has got a uniform must mean has guns, we will make an assumption in the medieval time that any man above the age of is an adult man. Yes, any man has a weapon. So we killed them. Fish.

01:26:03--> 01:26:08

Fish was so controversial about that, and the least controversial thing. But anyway.

01:26:10--> 01:26:12

In fact, if they applied the same if the current

01:26:13--> 01:26:16

state of Israel applied the same thing to

01:26:18--> 01:26:27

what we're seeing in Gaza, we wouldn't have a problem with them as much. We'll say how much you fought, they fought back class finish the fact that Hamas the same kind of fires,

01:26:30--> 01:26:31

the same place Oh, and I'll

01:26:32--> 01:26:43

be waiting for you stuff like that. So the point is, is that we don't apply a double standard. We apply consistent, honorable standard, and we always have.

01:26:45--> 01:26:59

So can you imagine that the most controversial military thing that they could conjure, they could find was a situation where combatant men were killed after they were treacherous. And even though it wasn't academics, so yes, they were treacherous. That's the most controversial thing combined.

01:27:02--> 01:27:19

And they're bombing all these people indiscriminately with drones and weapons and missiles and stuff and disable your profit killed the 600 men male combatants? Yes, in fact, is that very criticism that you need to look at the most? If you go ahead and look at a car and look at that event. If you copied what he did in that event, you wouldn't want to have that problem.

01:27:20--> 01:27:26

People that had the guns and the knives go fight them. If you copy the Prophet Muhammad, we wouldn't have a problem with you.

01:27:27--> 01:27:36

That's that's a criticism. If you copied the Prophet Muhammad wouldn't have an issue. But you have a you have a problem because you're killing indiscriminately. The killing the babies and children woman.

01:27:37--> 01:28:01

It's more probable than not, you're going to kill them. Anyway. So point. So what happened was Sophia went, Hey, was this woman her father was the chief of the tribe, but not what either. And her father was hired in October. And basically what happened was this, she had a dream, actually, before any of this stuff happened, that basically the moon will come into her lap and all these kinds of things. So she went to him and her father, and you have to have silver plan. He said,

01:28:03--> 01:28:32

basically, that this means that there's going to be a profit, but it's not gonna be from us. It's gonna be from the Arabs. Yeah. And for them, there are tribal people that will do what you mean, it's gonna be from disguises. And she heard her and Uncle speaking to each other, and they were speaking to each other. It's like, what were you gonna do with him? I'm gonna go against him for the rest of my life. The father was saying to his brother, so you know, is there's going to be an Arab Prophet, we're going to do this a dream that had his daughter had, I'm going to I'm going to oppose him for the rest of my life. So already, you can see there's like a psychological preparation to do

01:28:33--> 01:28:44

it. And if she has any objectivity in her, which we are assuming that she did have it. She's thinking to herself, okay, well, clearly, there's something going on with my dad. He is, he's more tribal than anything else. It's not often the truth.

01:28:46--> 01:28:56

So she had that dream, obviously, what happened to happened to her father, and he was killed and submitted was humiliated, as he should have been

01:28:58--> 01:29:30

a husband? I don't know if you just mentioned you know, when she told this dream, they knew who the moon segment Yeah, yeah. And she was slapped. Yeah, the father slept hands good thing. Or the husband, father, fathers after I heard the husband stopped. We can double check that she was because it symbolizes that she's going to marry the prophet or something like that, or something along those lines. I will check it but I'm pretty confident as a father because I will check. But what happened was this so so now what happened? Is that Sophia, but hey, she was a very beautiful woman. As you know, we don't kill the women in Islam. We don't kill the children. So what do you do with them?

01:29:31--> 01:29:36

What are you gonna do? I'm gonna think about it. We're going to do with them. You're gonna we're gonna put them in a big open air prison.

01:29:37--> 01:29:38

Like what these guys are doing?

01:29:40--> 01:29:54

And create blockades and then give them no access to men or anything. They cannot reintegrate? No, you're gonna kill them? No, we don't kill the women and children. So what they do they become the prisoner with the man they become indentured servants. That was the situation at the time.

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The Prophet Muhammad Salah came across this one Hadith and this by the way

01:30:01--> 01:30:03

When Ali was speaking to

01:30:04--> 01:30:11

Robinson, he actually came up with it was Sophia when he was like, Sophia was, what do you call it?

01:30:12--> 01:30:19

He made the point that, you know, the process alone didn't give her a choice effectively. And he this is the argument that Robinson made. He was trying to say.

01:30:20--> 01:30:34

It's incredulous that somebody whose father and brother was killed, because that's what happened. Her father and brother were killed, right? That she would opt to be with the military leader of that particular battalion. Do you see the argument?

01:30:35--> 01:30:44

And he made a couple of other arguments. And I've seen where he gets his arguments from he gets them from these other two bit Islamophobes, who don't do the proper research.

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Which is that in fact, he didn't even wait and he forced her this is this is once again, this narrative of forcing, which refer to refer to answer a on the matter because we already said that the prophets of salaam gave every one of his wives, including Sophie haven't had the chance not to be with him in the choice. So that kills everything, by the way, Yanni. And we've already spoken about Ben to Jonah, that's number two. But we'll come here again, I found this hadith very interesting. The prophesy Salam said in the Hadith, he says it's 30 choose.

01:31:17--> 01:31:35

If you choose Islam, I will marry you for myself. Yes. And marry, I will hold you to myself and marry you. And if you choose to be a Jew, so listen to this. The Prophet has I'm speaking to Sofia, he says, if you choose to be a Jew,

01:31:37--> 01:31:51

then I will let you go back to your people. I will let you go back to your tribe. No problem. Yeah. So she said, Oh prophet of Allah. I have started to like Islam, I like Islam.

01:31:53--> 01:31:54

And I believe in you

01:31:57--> 01:32:00

Yanni before you even speak spoke to me about this kind of things.

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So I don't want to be a journey more. And she says

01:32:12--> 01:32:21

so but basically she's she's saying that I love Islam, and she has all this kind of she's she's changed her mind and the mess up right now. She's seen her tribe operate

01:32:22--> 01:32:50

this oppressive people, the better Koya. She's seen them like what they were doing. And they're scheming. And they're this and that. And there was only a few of them. And the there was a few of them who liked this camera and sada and others with narrations that came out and said, No, we have we have a contract with this man, we have to honor it. Only a few good men came out. She saw the repugnant and belligerent and treacherous nature of the event occur either. Why is it so hard to believe that?

01:32:53--> 01:32:55

But no, here it is from being in the lead.

01:32:56--> 01:33:00

Up? Oh, yes. Sorry. She saw

01:33:01--> 01:33:04

the treacherous nature of this particular people hyper right.

01:33:06--> 01:33:10

So then, so then it wasn't her family that was killed in there by Nicaragua.

01:33:12--> 01:33:18

He joined Ben colada was killed with them. Justin father. Oh, they wouldn't suck it.

01:33:19--> 01:33:24

The prospects in the military and cable? Oh, I see. So let's see.

01:33:25--> 01:33:26

Very important.

01:33:27--> 01:33:28

It's good that you said that. Yeah.

01:33:30--> 01:33:48

Yeah. And then they went high, but it was. Okay. Okay, that's good, too. Good to know, because he was killed with Cora. Right. The father was killed with minha after Zab. And the person that she was with to him was killed. Cable.

01:33:49--> 01:33:57

The tribe? Yeah. Okay, perfect. So that's where the brother, the husband, and the father comes into the equation. Excellent. So the point is, is now

01:33:58--> 01:34:05

she is mentioned Hadith that she was given the choice. So this disrupts what has disrupted the narrative that

01:34:07--> 01:34:07

this was forced.

01:34:09--> 01:34:19

If you gave her the choice to be a Muslim, that the Quran gives you this messaging as well. And you can see what kind of relationship they had, in a very famous narration.

01:34:23--> 01:34:50

Basically, you know, some of the wives of the Prophet Muhammad Salam came to her. And she was saying, like, they're being abusive to her based on the fact that she was a Jew. And the process alum, he said, but just told them that, you know, we're from the lineage of Aaron. So what was you doing? I mean, if you want to put it in modern parlance, that we're doing what people refer to nowadays as anti semitism, yes. anti semitic remarks and evidence. So the process of them so they look,

01:34:51--> 01:34:59

basically refer to the fact that your lineage is is a good lineage. So there's nothing that we have against Jewish people on the

01:35:00--> 01:35:11

bases of them being Jewish by ethnic group. This is a very clear indication that there were also shows that he was defensive that he was defending her, that she, he didn't want to have to feel like she was an outsider in this society.

01:35:12--> 01:35:16

So you can see the kind of relationship they had to go. And it was a good relationship.

01:35:17--> 01:35:19

Why not? So someone could argue now?

01:35:20--> 01:35:23

Well, maybe she just had Stockholm Syndrome.

01:35:24--> 01:35:30

I don't know if you've come across this. Now, what is Stockholm Syndrome? Stockholm Syndrome is a psychological response.

01:35:31--> 01:35:41

We're in a captive begins to identify closely with his or her captors, as well as their agenda and demand. Now, just to stick with this, even if someone says Stockholm Syndrome.

01:35:43--> 01:36:18

For the sake of argument, let's say Yes, fine. She had what was referred to I'm just saying this for the sake of argument, as Stockholm Syndrome. Stockholm Syndrome doesn't render somebody insane or psychotic. So for the sake of argument, if someone has Stockholm Syndrome, it doesn't mean that they're like, on a legal level, that their choices or demands or whatever should be disregarded, by the way, because it's not at the point where it's insanity. You see the point. So for example, if someone is diagnosed with Stockholm syndrome, and they decided to change their inheritance to the Capita,

01:36:19--> 01:36:51

would that mean in any legal jurisdiction that that person shouldn't have that demand met? No wouldn't mean that because it doesn't reach the level where you're now psychotic or insane now, what is insanity? Insanity is really psychosis, psychosis defined by DSM register the psychological issues as lacking, you're not able to connect with reality, you've lost touch with reality. So even the definition of Stockholm Syndrome doesn't reach the threshold of insanity. It still means you're still you're still operating within a paradigm of rationality

01:36:53--> 01:36:57

is so in fact, there is some problematic you know, nowadays in the

01:36:58--> 01:37:33

left wing circles, they say you're gaslighting me I'm not sure you've heard this language gaslighting me, which means you're calling me mental you call me crazy. I'm not actually crazy gaslighting me. Okay, well, by quoting someone who's making a decision based on what you refer to as Stockholm Syndrome, or you're not gaslighting them, that's effectively what you're doing. Because you can use Stockholm syndrome to create what you refer to as gaslighting. The only time and where in witches should be legally or morally justifiable to disregard someone's own autonomous or independent adult decision making is when they are diagnosed with something which is renders them in

01:37:33--> 01:37:55

a vegetative state, like in a coma, for example, or like extreme Parkinson or something like that, and or in an insane or psychotic state where they've lost touch with reality. This doesn't meet the threshold. So even if you come with that, so Well, she also has Stockholm Syndrome, for the sake of argument, even if we agree with you, wouldn't you be Concur glass gaslighting her if she made the decision to be with the man based on so called Stockholm Syndrome.

01:37:56--> 01:38:01

But even as an even if, but if we go with this, Stockholm Syndrome,

01:38:03--> 01:38:19

the symptoms that the person person has, you will be rationalizing, abuse, distrust anger towards. We didn't like if we really took the Hadith seriously. She doesn't show resentment and anger towards the Prophet Muhammad awesome. In fact, that very Hadith we just covered where she was

01:38:20--> 01:38:29

going to the Prophet and complaining about what the other wives are doing. If she felt so angry, why are you complaining? Why are you going to this man for protection?

01:38:30--> 01:39:02

Surely the resentment should stop you from going to this man for the protection against the other wives. So she doesn't show that she is in that resentful state. There's no indication that shows that she was actually resenting this man's Salam. If, for example, Hadith for you become very famous Hadith, where she was walking with the professor from the street. And some men came and hit the protests and went to them and said this in their lesser fear. Certainly, she has Sofia. So you can see even with that hadith, he said, I already told you this because the shaytaan runs in the blood of

01:39:03--> 01:39:07

human beings. I only told you this for that reason. But there's two things to note.

01:39:08--> 01:39:38

He wasn't ashamed of having as a wife, despite her ethnic Jewish heritage. Number two, that he was defensive of her. What you see as a theme with the process alum and Sophia is that he's, he's always defending, whether it's against his own wife, which is the most difficult thing to do. Whether it's whether it's to make sure that the society doesn't consider her to be some kind of an outcast, or alienated figure. So in all these situations, you see that the problem how Solomon's acting with her in that way?

01:39:40--> 01:39:52

Yes, just saying that all the headaches that was on federal psyche, all sound, the ones in the slides and everything. Yes, but also as far as I know. Yeah. So these are some some of the case studies that

01:39:53--> 01:40:00

you can read in your own time alright. of people that are diagnosed with Stockholm Syndrome. It's what

01:40:00--> 01:40:02

One of the most subjective diagnoses anyone can make,

01:40:03--> 01:40:14

to you, to be honest with you, it's always with these personality disorders. And they're always the hardest to diagnose from a psychological perspective. Because it requires a heavy interpretive scope.

01:40:16--> 01:40:50

It does, it's much easier to diagnose something which has like consistent side effects and or has chemical imbalances or something. But if you're trying to say that this person, this person is impacted in this way, for these reasons, then you're now attributing cause and effect to a personality trait. Once you do that with any with any of the psychological markers, it becomes very difficult. So that their attack their point of attack on Sophie of entropy, as for example, if they do that as a counter attack on the fact that she has Stockholm Syndrome, or the Irish or has Stockholm Syndrome, or whatever, it would be a very weak point of attack. Because then how do you

01:40:50--> 01:41:10

know she has Stockholm syndrome? And a and b, for the sake of argument, even if they did? Why would that disqualify them from being able to make decisions of choice based decisions. And number three, even if we say that they do, how comes the symptoms that are associated with Stockholm Syndrome, for example, feeling anger and resentment towards people are not present in those in the behaviors of these women?

01:41:11--> 01:41:21

You see, the more and more we investigate the life of the prophet Muhammad ISIL. And the more and more we realize that the accusations made against him are actually not only untrue, but they're actually

01:41:22--> 01:41:23

vehemently false.

01:41:25--> 01:41:31

And the oppressive nature of how these people misrepresent the prophet is Adams life. It's unbelievable how they do it.

01:41:32--> 01:41:59

And if someone says, Well, you guys are being selective with the Hadith, you accept, why we don't accept these Hadees. We say to them, so if you're, if you don't accept the Hadith, because that's an argument, they can put, oh, we don't accept this hadith, where he told her to choose, or this hadith or this that's connected with as, if you don't accept the Hadith, then you might as well check all of them have been in the bin, including the one that says that he made it nine, then you have no then you have nothing, then you have no criticism, the history of this.

01:42:01--> 01:42:24

If they leave as an example, they say, Well, you just mentioned Hadith for the sake of argument have been to Joan and and as she was told to go back after she said such and such as in Bihar, and we're seeing this authentic, which they come back and say, well, we don't accept your authenticity, we'll come back to them and say, Well, if you don't accept the authenticity of body, then that's the same collection, which has the hadith of nine year old. So if you don't accept this one, you shouldn't accept that one as old. And if you don't accept that one, then you have no criticism.

01:42:25--> 01:42:50

What's the thing called you told us about the embarrass, the principle of embarrassment that will become more and more, I think we'll bring that in in next session, because we said we're going to do two sessions on marriage to the profit. visa vie is ain't been to Jash which is a very important marriage as well. Yeah, it's really this. Today we've covered the most controversial next lesson, Xena Brijesh and we're gonna go over

01:42:51--> 01:43:04

as well God with the Hadith Bentyl Harris and others, and we'll make the other bunch them all up. We don't have as much Hadees and the others like, as we do with harsh I should probably the heaviest we have on her is maybe comparable with all the other wives

01:43:05--> 01:43:06

come back from Ghana.

01:43:07--> 01:43:08

added up together.

01:43:09--> 01:43:14

With that we will conclude and hopefully you've learned something or somebody come on over get