Chai Talk with Malik Shaw

Mohammed Faqih


Channel: Mohammed Faqih

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The speakers discuss the challenges faced by graduates of high school graduates, including the pressure to see things they don't like and the need for honesty. They emphasize the importance of caution and avoiding bubble, and emphasize the need for parents to address inter conversational WhatsApp messages and pray. They also discuss the success of Rhodes College and the importance of parenting programs, including a book and a non dairy program. The speakers emphasize the need for more community engagement and practice to improve parenting, and mention upcoming Chai talk and a non dairy program.

AI Generated Transcript ©

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So, once again, welcome to the program.

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Again, it's a it's a pilot program is an experimental program.

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We want to see how it goes insha Allah to Allah, and what we want is we want to see more of these kinds of programs. So we're going to start with once a month,

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once a month conversation, this is meant to be, you know, we call it Chai, Chai talk.

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You know, it was inspired by some of these conversations, we were having a Ramadan every night, some some brothers would bring Chai, and would be, we would be standing outside having different conversations about some of the affairs or some of the concerns, and some of the issues our community members, our communities are facing or dealing with different conversations, you know, how these

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conversations go. So we thought, why not bring it to the stage, right? Have have guest speakers come together, engage the audience have a community conversation around some of these issues that concern us? Right. So tonight, I suggest that we follow up on

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what, you know, last week, she has her Faza gave

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a workshop or a seminar about how to talk to her children. And a lot of it has to do with really understanding the plight and the state of our youth, the state of the Muslim youth in North America.

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And the challenges facing us as parents communities and even as concerned members of the community. Especially those of us who deal with the youth insha Allah Tala. Tonight, I'm joined here with our dear brother, Malik Shah.

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Chef Anwar and or CFPs or may join us as well in sha Allah to Allah. So again, this is a casual conversation. You're supposed to have this conversation, or listen to us and join us while you are enjoying your tea, but not while you're having side conversations. We can have multiple Chai talks. So So let's inshallah Tada. Try to stay focused on this program. Welcome.

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Malik. How are you?

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I think your mic is not on.

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It's right behind you.

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Yeah, no. It's

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alright, let's see.

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Okay, there you go.

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Sorry, everybody.

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Okay, so

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conscious. All right.

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Well, we'll try that one more time. I said, I'm why they come everybody.

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Okay, so thank you. So where do we start?

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Let me ask you a question.

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I've known brother Malik as a teacher social studies teacher at Pleasant View School. And you deal with youth every single day. Right? And the subject matter that you teach social studies, you know, you interact with the youth at a different level with our children. First, the first concern that I personally have, right?

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Is the fact that I feel the changes, the social changes, and the cultural changes that are happening are happening so fast. So much so that we can't keep up with it. Like as a parent, if I have a child, if I have two children, you know, if I have, if I have children who are five years apart, then culturally they're different. Right? So can you just shed some light on this? I mean, you've you've taught at PBS for how long?

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Three years? Okay, I think something like that. So do you see any difference between the older and the younger? No, okay. This one comes at us. So not to cinemas, Rasulillah. America's changing, it's a really interesting time to be an American.

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Because America is changing, but it's not.

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It's changing socially, personally, because in the 80s and early 90s, the Christian coalition, they gave up the culture war.

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And the culture war is what happens in the streets. And when they gave it up, religious communities pretty much decided that we were not going to focus on social issues. So even as a community if I was to ask you a question,

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a couple questions. First question, how long did it take for Islam to become the dominant religion in Egypt, in Egypt is here

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Somebody somewhere else?

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Our brother in

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Lebanon, right? Is Islam the dominant religion in Lebanon?

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Why not?

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depends on your definition of Yes. Thank you

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nobody ever thinks about who's the first person who's the person in your lineage who took shahada?

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You know, you ask

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anybody anything about that person?

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The person who took shahada in your lineage? Your ancestor, your ancestor who took shahada?

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Who was it?

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Thank you.

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Anybody else know who that person was? You know who he was? You know what he went through?

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Know what his struggle was? How did he learn about Islam?

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To say Ng, who is that person?

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Oh, okay.

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Islam saved, what hasn't?

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Who was the person in your, in your? What? ancestor? The person who took shahada, I leave.

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Right? And for you, if you've been Muslim for generations, you might say, why would you? I don't think about that. But there was somebody

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who decided to change your family. From that, then into their judgment. You're sitting with people who've made that decision.

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I made that decision. Since the end, you made that decision. This brother made that decision. You know what, that gives us?

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A mission.

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You know what I see kids don't have

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a mission.

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Islam has always been mission oriented.

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Young people have always been mission oriented. When you're young, you believe you could change the world. You jump on causes like that you've ever been, you remember? 1920 years old? What caused what you want? Oh, yeah, I had a lot of I mean, it was it was different times different focus. I'm totally with you. But I am afraid that we may be we may be, you know, too judgmental. We may think that's what I'm saying. I'm afraid that we may be thinking that okay, 16 and 18 and 17 and 18 year old youth that we have right now don't really have a mission they don't have but they may think otherwise. I don't blame them. No, no, they have a mission thing you guys you guys have no idea what

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we're going no what No, they I talk to young people young people have a mission.

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You know who haven't given them one

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who hasn't? Who have who are they looking to give them a mission?

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Anyone here?

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Who was it who they want to get their mission from any 16 year old here want to inshallah answer that question, who gave me permission?

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Um, I mean, different inspirational figures in my life. Family.

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My father was definitely inspirational. One of my mentors was a great source of inspiration. Immunity really is great. Yeah. Okay. So, the reason I asked how long did it take Islam to become the dominant religion in Egypt, meaning those people were on a mission? It took over 1000 years.

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It wouldn't surprise me Yeah, right. Meaning they had a mission. What I see with young people is they're getting a mission from the dominant culture. I don't blame them for that. If we're not going to give them a mission. Getting good grades is not enough for human being. It's not a big enough why

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it's a it's a small it's a it's a good one as a family. But it's not a big enough. Why? Because it becomes very easy.

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What's going to if I know the leading time for heart attacks in America

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leading what the leading time for heart attacks in the United States of America and Monday morning

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so you are 16 8am

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they hate what they do.

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How did they fall into work that they hated to do they hate to do?

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Or they fall into that

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min coach is fine. I love fried chicken. I love basketball.

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That's American culture. Like Fourth of July is coming up I have good memories. Oh for sure.

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We got to stop cursing the darkness.

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this idea of cursing, it's not American culture. I love American Coach. If you've immigrated to America, there was something about America that you liked.

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And if you still hear if you're indigenous to America, and some that are about to marry you like this keeping you here, we don't curse the darkness, shine a light shine the light of the Prophet say something. But the difference is, people fall into work they don't like because they're not intentional. Yeah. Are we intentional with our kids and giving them a mission?

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Or do we just curse the missions they pick up?

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That's stupid. Well, how could you help? I think that's LGBTQ. I think that's very deep for some of us. But let's go back to the issue of okay, just understanding where they're at, like, what if I was to say, what is really the state or the plight of our youth? Because, you know, when I asked that some of some of the young, let's say, mentors, or young professionals who are born or raised here, second generation, third generation, and I asked them about, specifically middle schools and high schoolers and even early college, they're like, share, we can't even relate to that. It's a different culture, it's different times now. Right? It's no longer the same. I'm like, if you can't

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relate to them, or if you're having issues, right, communicating or getting getting, you know, reading, connecting with them. What am I supposed to say, you know, so it looks like one of the biggest challenges is that this rapid change that is happening socially, right, every five years, you know, no, no, no, I mean, think about this. I mean, these, right, how would this change your life? I know, yeah. Who's Eve I believe this at home.

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How do you feel

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when you leave that home? How do you feel the host turned around and went home and got this

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year? I almost missed my flight because I forgot my phone. And I had to go and pick it up. I forgot it halfway me has everything. You

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know, I wasn't raised. Imagine being any you ever in a store and you see like a baby.

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In the stroller.

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My kids know some features that I personally don't know, I know, people who actually work for Apple, and they work for Google, their children have better understanding of these devices and the features in these devices than they do. Yeah. So. So that is quite interesting. But you know, but it's still It looks like you know, the other day, I was having a conversation with one of my colleagues. And he said, we're in a bubble. Our kids, our kids, especially immigrant immigrant kids, right, are in a bubble, right? Because that go to Simon School are in a bubble, and then the reward is different, you know? So, so what is is there a truth to that statement? Anybody feel like your child is in a

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bubble? You're gonna have to participate?

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This is supposed to me, it's one of two things if you're not part of the conversation, that means you don't like your chai? Yeah, or you are you don't like us. It feels like your child is in a bubble.

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what's what? What's the definition of bubble?

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All right. Do you do you feel? Do we understand that really, I mean, the reality of some of our children is different from the reality of the average kid in America. That's number one. Number two, that many of our children may not or they're not really prepared for the so called Real World.

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Okay, here's from the studies that I'm reading right now. I feel like a lot of Muslim kids Muslim youth, once they go especially when they go to college, right? It's they get challenged, they're spiritually challenged socially, and culturally challenged to the point where not only are they in shock, but they're really like, most of their beliefs are really challenging their their their faith is shaken, and we lose many of them.

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good. Yeah.

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Can we be honest and say, some colleges are too much for some kids? Oh, definitely. Bert, can we say that? Berkeley maybe a bit. Oh, man.

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Do we have one here locally? That may be too much for some kids? I don't know them that well, but

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Okay, so I have five children. I don't know most hamdulillah most Muslims have multiple kids, right? You

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You recognize that some of your kids are strong and certain things other than others others are. So some kids, you don't have to remind a prayer.

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Well, some kids, did you pray? Right.

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So not everybody can handle I call College. I'm not anti College. I've taught in college. I call college secular church.

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Because it's pure secularism. Now, and if you don't prepare your child for secularism, you just kind of setting them up. Not every child can come come combat that. I've taught many students, some arguments they can't handle.

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Particularly when, oh, this is better for me.

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Thank you.

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I have five kids, so I don't usually use microphones.

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That's his water.

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No, no.

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Okay, so

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um, so I'm sorry, I don't know if I answered the question. Somebody had a question. Cuz I'm gonna make sure I'm looking at the purse. Yeah, I think there's a concern. What's wrong with college? No. So yeah, so part of this is, again, I'm not attacking College. I'm saying we have to be honest that some of our kids may not be spiritually mature or capable of handling some environments.

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What they're just not like, if can I give one example? So we all have certain weaknesses. Right.

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As and here's the beautiful thing about being a convert, because Congress we know our weaknesses. Right? We know places that no I can't go there anymore.

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We're not we're very suspicious of ourselves in certain environments. Certain words in America we get good feelings about we don't think about I'll give you one spirituality. Is that always good?

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Spirituality is good term.

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Good term. What my spirituality is worshipping trees. Still cool.

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Spirituality. Good word.

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It's a good word. Depends on what is. Is it always a good word? No. Okay, college. Good word.

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Good word.

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Depends on which college? Oh,

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college is good. Right? But College is a good word. But spirituality. Good word. Good word. Now 2021. We better use some

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nuance to these words.

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Because not every college is good for your child. Academically, academic academically, if you have a 2.0 you don't need to apply to Stanford.

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We agree.

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If you have a 1.8 Rhodes is not looking for you.

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Now, if you're struggling with Father ain Rhodes is not looking for you.

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You know what I mean by that? What do you mean? If you're struggling with basic Islam?

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You don't need to go to a class with an expert in atheism. Who is in a dominant position where you're trying to get a passing grade.

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That's a position of weakness.

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You What I mean by that? I'm not sure if everyone under Sadler Brother, do you not like he's going with this different colleges have different environments and different cultures? Right? I personally know. I mean, I have. I have 27 nephews and nieces. Most of them. Most of them either went through it, or they're going through it, right. And there's a huge difference when that whole family makes a decision together. You know, where your child is applying to. You've been to the school, you visited the school, you checked it out, you visited different campuses, and then collectively the family made a decision. I personally I'm personally against my child going out of state or out of, you

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know, being out of you know,

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I think local local colleges should do, right local colleges and universities should do you should keep them local, especially in their undergrad period. Now for their graduate school. May Allah subhanaw taala help them hopefully by then they're ready to deal with it. But I think it's very critical but what Brother manifestation is very important when it comes to students who are at the age of you know, choosing a college or going different colleges or different universities, different campuses have different cultures as

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I personally, you know, personally, you know, people who went to certain, especially extremely liberal colleges or campuses, the chess there, there is a huge, you know, chance that they're going to lose their Islam.

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I mean, there's let's not fool ourselves. I just came from California, right. And I ran into multiple people that grew up in the Quran programs, grew up in the masjid, grew up in the masjid grew up attending Islamic Studies, classes and courses and going to youth camps.

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They went to some of the most liberal schools, and they lost their Islam.

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They lost, they lost, even to a point they lost even their ethics and their morals. So there's a huge risk, right? And that's why we have to be very selective. So I do agree with you that not every college is, is, you know, the right one for that particular child of yours. So this is something that we really need to take into consideration. You know, this is where they get challenged the most. And this is what I mean by bubble by the way, okay? Yeah, no, no. Okay. So on the bubble.

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One of my teachers one time said, he said, um, no people so my kids were homeschool. My kids are homeschool. You can't get a bigger you can't get a smaller bubble to homeschooling. Right? And one teacher said once he said, you know, people say like homeschool kids aren't very socialized.

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It's about what kind of socialization are you looking for?

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Buy bubbles aren't bad. Who told you like what's right with a bubble? I don't ask even my own students. I tell them I don't ask what's wrong with something. I asked what's right with it nice. When you get to a certain level you stop asking what's wrong with something you asked what's right with it? So when I meet people and they said I all Muslims don't smoke weed. I said, as it was right was smoking weed

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was right about you know, your wife man

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was right about having kids out of wedlock?

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If you can't give me something right about it, that's fine.

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Then I want to do it. Right. So what's right with having bubbles? I'll tell you, Cornel West, Dr. Cornel West said I am who I am because somebody loves me.

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He's reached the height of academia. Do we have kids in here who say this bubble loves me?

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No, I go beyond love.

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This bubble likes me.

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Because we say we love each other for the sake of Lordstown. Do I like you?

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So you're saying that there is nothing wrong with having you know, raising our children in bubbles? So long? It's a loving bubble. A loving and liking bubble. So a bubble. Okay. Right. Because guess what, as I reason I started off with about Islam starting off, you have people in this community?

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Who can be cultural guides to America.

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I can show you. This restaurant is good. This restaurant isn't good. I decided to become Muslim. I was raised in this place.

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The benefit of Islam is that you have all of these different experiences.

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If you create a bubble where people like each other,

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they will share their experiences with each other. Salman al Farsi

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right. He wasn't here.

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But he's he comes into a bubble of love. And when people like each other, they share that with me.

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know, before you Dr. Brahim.

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Hona Yes, yes, yes. You're good. Okay. Was your concern addressed?

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I mean, remember, this is a candid conversation that we're supposed to be having an open conversation. It's not a lecture. It's not. It's not right and wrong. Yes.

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Is that we? We also I do agree to some degree with what you say regarding that. Not all colleges are doing for our students. But I think

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I agree with you as well, that we should focus more.

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mission we have we have a professor at Rhodes College.

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I think having been in a bubble is a good thing. But developing tools and monitoring how they deal with this tool.

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hoping to hang outside the bubble. And this is this is actually the main things that we need to focus on. Now you need to give them a tool, how to deal with it.

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And the same time, right? Right, make them use it. Then try monitoring this before you let them go outside.

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it's really

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but can I say something to that? If you don't mind? Okay, so they might know the richest community in America, the wealthiest community in the United States of America. Community, not individually. I know, Bezos got you got it all about money after the pandemic, right? Am I know the richest community? Fairfax? Could

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he guesses?

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shots in the dark?

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Jackson, maybe I will cook religious communities, the Amish

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that a religious community in America.

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Do you think a man horse and buggy is you can so let me give you some let me use some some you can't have more bubble. You can't be more bubble than that right now, the Amish.

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So they have a couple of things they sued. Schroeder, I think was Schroeder versus Wisconsin. So the dead kids didn't have to go to high school. So they only go to eighth grade. And their reasoning was they said, if our kids go to high school, it's bad for our ecosystem of our community. Because we need our young people to give back. And if they do for more extended years, then it's kind of still throws off our ecosystem, as long as they get out of eighth grade and come back and teach. Right? But then they also had this thing called Rumspringa.

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And Rumspringa is when a turning 16 They just let them go.

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And if I'm not mistaken, I know che Google's in the room. So I think it's two years. I may be wrong. What is okay go out if you want to do dunya go ahead

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you know, how many percent return something like 90% Come back

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to the bubble

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90% So with 90 Amish community they go back to the boat

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what I'm saying is

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oh Malcolm X someone times given a speech and he told me things telling Do you think we have that that kind of if we if 99? If if our children leave how many what's the percentage of them that would come back within the community? So

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no, I'm not saying let's say all of our kids just I mean, obviously to be honest with you. It's they're leaving but we're just not seeing that they're leaving in large in large numbers we're not seeing it

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there the leaving the community they don't identify they don't leave how he'd I think this would you say most people don't even tell him they may leave the community but that

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associate with the Muslim community? Yeah.

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At least culturally, we're gonna come back to that and Shala maybe at a later date inshallah Allah Okay, so I want to go back to that culture to the culture. All right, ask him a question about Rhodes College. Oh, from your, from his experience as a professor.

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Okay, so Rhodes is a bubble.

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erodes the bubble, it gets a beautiful campus with a gate around it.

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That's a bubble.

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It's a bubble.

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thinking processes, all the ideas.

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Everything's inside, you find by

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the same time one size does not

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fit. What you're doing is that you're trying to fit one size upon everybody fit. Who me are roads.

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All right. Can I address that? I think you're you're comparing roads to let's say UCLA? No, what I'm saying is what's right with bubbles. We just don't think of other places above as bubbles. We only think of religious places that bubble and it's bad.

00:29:46--> 00:29:49

A bubble is bad. It's not like spirituality.

00:29:51--> 00:29:59

No, no, I was saying that. I was I'm not saying it's bad. But I'm saying there are challenges that come with raising our children within

00:30:00--> 00:30:12

A particular bubble, right? If they're not ready to get out of it, and deal with whatever they're facing, then they're gonna have a hard time. That's that's, that was the whole you know?

00:30:20--> 00:30:25

Can give us your charger like you did a very good job.

00:30:27--> 00:30:37

First year, first semester when my son came back from college, we were talking, and I asked him a few questions. And he said that when I get home

00:30:40--> 00:30:41

Why are you?

00:30:42--> 00:30:43

How old is your son?

00:30:44--> 00:30:45

Right now?

00:30:48--> 00:31:29

Okay, it's a different generation. No, no, I think that's fair, though. No, no, no, I personally think that we did a decent job. We, we did. We did a very decent job with the older generation with, you know, I think we did a decent job. The challenge that I'm having, or that I see many families are having is now with the 16th, the 14th, the 15th, the 16th, the 17th and the 18th. This particular gender is there a lot of a lot of things, in my opinion, I think social media and, you know, communication devices are a huge, a huge game changer. Right. Because, you know,

00:31:30--> 00:31:33

I mean, I would love to hear from Samir as well, you know,

00:31:34--> 00:32:18

your Samir is from that generation, you know, from that generation, my, my issue right now is like, I think what, I think the changes were so rapid, I don't think we fully understand what is happening to our youth. And again, I'm talking about the younger youth, I'm not talking Okay, we don't understand what is happening to them, how whatever they're exposed to are affecting them, how our parenting style is affecting them. Right, I was gonna I was gonna mention that. I mean, imagine like a 12 or 13 year old, you know, demanding a cell phone. I can't remember, I can't understand this. I can't remember. Right. Like, I was probably I was probably 19 or 20. When I had my own cell phone,

00:32:18--> 00:32:20

and I had to hide it from my dad.

00:32:21--> 00:32:52

It's my own, I bought it. Like 2021 It wasn't even a cell phone. It was I think, a pager. So I had to hide it because I had no business owning a pager. Like my dad would look at me and say, Why do you need a pager? You're not a doctor. He you know, why do you need your pager, but I wanted to have a pager because it was cool. And I spend like, whatever, $30 a month or something for that, for that, you know, I wanted to have a pager because it was cool at the time. And I would hide it from my father. Because my father, my father will question the rationality

00:32:54--> 00:33:26

of having a pager for an 18 or 19 or 20 or 21 year old who is not a medical professional. Right? But now we have 11 like 1011 12 year old kids that want the latest you know iPhone and they demand that and we have parents providing this not realizing what you're actually what we're actually that we're putting a very possibly spiritually or intellectually or mentally lethal device in the hands of our youth

00:33:28--> 00:33:29

Yes, yes

00:33:33--> 00:33:33


00:33:41--> 00:33:41


00:33:43--> 00:33:45

I saw them a

00:33:46--> 00:33:51

lot of them have very little detail whenever

00:33:55--> 00:33:56

they don't identify as Muslim

00:34:02--> 00:34:08

the meaning of your name, you know, something like that, you know, you know your name. What does your name come from?

00:34:23--> 00:34:39

Do we have any high schoolers or college students show of hand? High schoolers college college or high school? College obviously. Do you mind if I if I asked you this is a candidate. You know, Michelle, Is he safe? He can. Let me ask you a question. Which college you go to?

00:34:40--> 00:34:45

University of Memphis okay. Now, how many Muslim kids do you know in your own circle?

00:34:46--> 00:34:46


00:34:48--> 00:34:52

A lot. How many of them identify as Muslims

00:34:59--> 00:34:59


00:35:00--> 00:35:06

Okay, okay, so So I identify as Muslims. And they're okay. You know, they're okay. How many of them practice Islam?

00:35:08--> 00:35:11

Of the ones that identify as Muslim? How many of them really are like practicing?

00:35:13--> 00:35:14

Or they're calling you now?

00:35:15--> 00:35:15


00:35:17--> 00:35:22

We just we don't we don't want numbers. We don't want names or anything, just, you know, just remember

00:35:27--> 00:35:33

you're saying 80% of them, actually, let's say how many. Let me give you a specific, how many of them pray Joomla of the ones.

00:35:36--> 00:35:38

You see, this is why I moved to Memphis by the way

00:35:49--> 00:36:01

one of the reasons, again, one of the reasons I want to understand I'm not saying that it's very bad, I'm telling you, I am coming from California. Is this is this is this life. This event is, California is I love you.

00:36:03--> 00:36:19

But I would never come back. There's a reason why it came. People asked me why, you know, there's a reason why I chose to come to there's a huge difference. There is a huge cultural difference. You know, 80%, you're telling you that 80% of those who identify as Muslims actually do pray Juma?

00:36:20--> 00:36:37

Yeah. And this is based on your own observation. That's great. Yes, good. That's good news. Um, no, no, no, no, it's great. You know, it's, that's good news for someone who comes from areas that have campuses that may have, you know, hundreds of Muslim Muslim students, maybe 10 of them come from a spa.

00:36:43--> 00:36:51

We talked about the plight of our youth High School in college. Can I go get some cheesy? Yeah, God. So this is

00:36:55--> 00:37:37

about the students, the people, young people. Come on. Thank you for that information. So somebody says that people Yeah, somebody often, this intergenerational Islam's very difficult for converts. So they'll give their kids Muslim names and but the Islam won't go to the next generation. The other thing is when you talk about parenting, Dr. Leonard Sachs wrote a book called The collapse of parenting. And he says parenting in America has just collapsed, that people aren't parenting anymore. We don't even know what parenting looks like now on some. And if you're a teacher, you know this, because you can go when I was born when I when I was in school, my father. My father didn't

00:37:37--> 00:37:40

ask me a couple questions. He asked me what I thought about something.

00:37:41--> 00:37:46

He never asked me my opinion. If I got in school. If I got in trouble in school, you never asked my side of the story.

00:37:48--> 00:37:48


00:37:50--> 00:38:02

It just never crossed his mind asked me. Well, tell me what happened? No, the school said this happened. I said that. My father hat hacker, you're keen.

00:38:03--> 00:38:04


00:38:05--> 00:38:13

Whatever that person said, that's what happened. You're gonna get it. Right now. It's the total opposite.

00:38:15--> 00:38:26

Muslim kids are not taught in public school and private school. Suck. parenting has collapsed. And when you have a child demanding a phone,

00:38:27--> 00:38:45

I never did. Look, we used to go to Burger King. And my father literally, I never had the assumption my father would buy me anything. When we went to drive thru he used to drive thru I knew he was hungry, he would order himself something I want a whopper. And I literally would just sit there and I would think for like, 10 seconds. I wonder if he's gonna ask me if I want something.

00:38:47--> 00:38:54

And he will look at me say, Boy, you want something? I never made the assumption. My parents had to do something for me.

00:38:57--> 00:39:06

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam said, one of the signs of the hour is that the slave girl will give birth to her her masters, right?

00:39:07--> 00:39:09

Are we living in that time?

00:39:11--> 00:39:20

And if we are, how do we address that we shouldn't become fearful, we should say none of us wants to be the subject of a hadith like that.

00:39:21--> 00:39:55

Right? We don't want to be a parent who's being pushed around by a child we're feeding. You want to be pushed around by charge of feeding. And if that's the case, we need to say, man, maybe I need to, like I need to upgrade my parenting. And then that's the job of the religious community. And this is why I talk about mission at the beginning. Do we have a mission of having intergenerational Islam is that everybody's mentioned? Do you want your grandkids to be Muslim?

00:39:56--> 00:39:59

Do you? I mean, are we serious?

00:40:00--> 00:40:12

out there, because I, my wife's a convert as a convert our whole lives. Every decision we've made, has been trying to ensure intergenerational Islam.

00:40:13--> 00:40:36

Somebody in your one of your ancestors took shahada, and they made the same decisions I made with hopes that their their lineage would be Muslim. I tell your kids that. Do you want to be the person who looks at that person on a dead judgement and say, you know, I just didn't really feel like practicing.

00:40:38--> 00:40:40

That person may be thinking, Man, I kicked out my village.

00:40:42--> 00:40:51

Like I lost everything I have for this message. You want to look at that person and tell them that yeah, you know, I just I was kind of ticked up. I want to go to class, I just want to be able to talk.

00:40:52--> 00:40:59

And they didn't they think like, man, somebody went through like, oh, it has to be mission based.

00:41:00--> 00:41:02

The prophesy Selim was on a mission.

00:41:03--> 00:41:11

He was on a mission. So was it like happenstance or like maybe so when I say about going to a particular college, is that part of the mission?

00:41:13--> 00:41:32

Is that is you going to this college part of our mission of you holding on to Leila Hill, Allah, Muhammad Rasul Allah bless? If not, maybe you need to go to the University of Memphis. Because I'm not I'm not being funny. I'm being serious. Maybe that's just a better location for you. So before before we give it to this guy.

00:41:33--> 00:41:35

So my question is talking about.

00:41:38--> 00:41:43

And they say that it takes a village to raise a child. So and I think part of the reason it

00:41:45--> 00:41:59

has been affected is because I feel that, you know, for us, a lot of us were living by ourselves in that way that we have, you know, families out of town or out of the country. So it just interests parenting.

00:42:00--> 00:42:08

The whole family was raising children. Right. Yeah. values from different family members, and, you know, just more diverse. So, yeah.

00:42:09--> 00:42:20

That also is a big challenge for, you know, parents like ourselves who are trying to make ends meet, and then also wanting our kids do more practice as long.

00:42:24--> 00:42:26

Family. Yeah.

00:42:27--> 00:42:28


00:42:29--> 00:42:39

My mom lives in Dearborn, Michigan, highest per capita of Arabs outside of the Middle East. It was having a beautiful saying pick your neighborhood and pick your house.

00:42:42--> 00:42:47

Pick your neighbor, then pick your house. We do the exact opposite. We pick a house and we don't even know who our neighbor is.

00:42:49--> 00:42:54

Literally, you will know there will be Jack the Ripper, right, man nice house. This house has a nice kitchen and bathroom.

00:42:57--> 00:43:30

Brother Malik now it's getting really tough to find that as soon as you find a house no matter where you are now, that now is becoming I mean, yeah, you just trying to find a house right that you actually buy. I'm saying intergenerational. Arabs have been in Dearborn over 100 years where Henry Ford brought them there. And they decided to live in Dearborn. Pick your neighbors and pick your house. Some wisdoms apply, no matter where you are on the planet. Yes, people. Yeah, we're living more alone. We're more connected. But we're more alone.

00:43:31--> 00:43:34

Right? We're more connected more alone. Here's a great book reference.

00:43:35--> 00:43:59

It's called the Johann Hari, we did this in Midtown. We went over this book, lost connections. It's about why depression anxiety has been increased. If you ever have time. It's an excellent book. Lost connections. Yeah, it'll explain that that and Dr. Leonard Sachs has collapsed parenting and you know, we're really, I think help with that shall it will have to carry on with this conversation insha Allah Allah in a month.

00:44:01--> 00:44:47

But before we conclude, Inshallah, I want to see if show of hands, if you like, these kinds of programs, if our community is ready to have these kinds of conversations, it's good going to get more intense. I mean, today, it's very, you know, casual. If it gets more structured, it's gonna get very intense, and it may become uncomfortable, but we need to really be agitated and get uncomfortable sometimes in order for us to, to make very important realization, right, so the seating is going to be different. So show of hands, how many people are in favor of these kinds of events programs? One, okay, it looks like overwhelming majority. The second thing that I wanted to

00:44:47--> 00:44:54

do is I personally want to understand, remember, you know, you know, I moved to the to the community within six months,

00:44:55--> 00:44:59

or a little bit more than six months whole COVID

00:45:00--> 00:45:00


00:45:01--> 00:45:03

era started, right.

00:45:05--> 00:45:49

So I didn't really get a chance to get a feel of like get to know the community. I think maybe Ramadan was our first opportunity to really interact and get to know one another. So so I feel challenged when it comes to understanding my beloved Memphis community, right, it has been I've been here for two years, I thought this would have been accomplished, at least within the first year. So so there's a lot that I don't know and inshallah Tala, my intention is to get to know the community better Insha Allah, feel free to reach out, book an appointment, you know, go out for coffee, call me in sha Allah Tala. But one thing that I want to do is, and I wonder if she Anwar and brother

00:45:49--> 00:45:54

Samia can help me sha Allah sent me an hour. I know. We're

00:45:55--> 00:45:57

not always here, our youth pastor.

00:45:59--> 00:46:33

If you can help me Charlotte is really survey our youth, right? High schoolers in college, do a survey and have as many of them participate. Just again, show of hands of those who are present here. Would you feel comfortable again, you know, your name is not going to be there just some basic information about your age, gender, where you go, what grade you're in, and we may ask you some questions that we want you to answer, honestly, just for us to have a better understanding as to where our youth are. Would you feel comfortable taking these participating in these kinds of surveys?

00:46:34--> 00:46:58

shall anyone else know there are some people who didn't raise their hand? Okay. All right, specifically targeted youth. You know, I'm targeting the youth again, as far as to understand to better understand where you're at. We don't know who's taking the survey. But in sha Allah to Allah, that's, that's coming out in sha Allah azza wa jal, and we will continue to have these conversations. Our next conversation should be Samir.

00:46:59--> 00:47:06

Our next conversation is last Friday of june of July right.

00:47:10--> 00:47:20

Actually, not the last Friday of July but but rather the the fourth, the fourth Friday of July which is the 24th inshallah.

00:47:22--> 00:47:24

So about a month from today, right.

00:47:25--> 00:48:11

The 24th Insha Allah the last Yeah, the 24th of July insha. Allah Tala. We're going to have another Chai talk, inshallah. And perhaps maybe in that we're going to talk about some challenges of parenting. Inshallah, hoping to have Chef Yasmin join us Inshallah, for that program. She's not gonna walk out for participating. Thank you for those who donated or those who provided the chai. Maybe next time, we can have non dairy, non dairy Chai next time. For those who are lactose intolerant. She's not gonna walk head on for also the cookies or refreshment. Samia and his team for setting up this is Aqua love Hannah. May Allah subhanaw taala bless this community. May Allah

00:48:11--> 00:48:17

subhanaw taala preserve and protect our youth and our children and our parents so that they can want to lie about cancer.