Visitation & Being a Classy Guest
Channel: Mohammad Elshinawy
File Size: 30.40MB
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all praise and glory be to Allah, we thank him and we seek His help and his guidance and his pleasure and his forgiveness and his protection from the evil whispers within us and from the awful consequences of our misdeeds. For a number of love guides, no one can lead us astray and whoever Allah leaves without guidance them can guide them. And we testify that none is worthy of our worship and our devotion, and our absolute love and obedience but Allah, the Creator of the heavens and the earth and everything in them, and everything between them and everything we know and everything we don't and we bear witness, the prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was in truth is profit
and he served with his messenger and the best of his creation. And the seal of His revelation, the most beloved of this leaves of a lots of a lot of people have emailed or you have believed the law says, all you have to believe or keep mindful of of law, remain conscious of him, keep your duty to him in the manner to the extent that he deserves. Give him his due regard in every aspect of your life as best as you can, and do not die except in a state of complete and total willing, loving surrender to all law, meaning a state of Islam.
To begin, after welcoming our brothers and sisters to the house of allonzo agenda, we spent last Friday during the Hookes law, speaking about the incredible personality of Ibrahim running the setup of Abraham, peace be upon him, the honey of Allah, the friend of God, who serve God in every dimension of his life, as some of the scholars put it cannot.
Man his heart belonged to a rock man, what led to do who
and his son was used for for band as a means of coming nearer to a rock man a means of devotion, he was willing to give up his son.
He said, Well, man will be fun, and is well was when the guests that is dedicated, he was the greatest host ever to any guests. He was the exemplar of how to host your guests. And we spent the week speaking of the football club last week speaking about them, they said,
Ron, and his and his body itself was expendable. He didn't mind getting thrown into the knee, Iran getting thrown into the fire, and not turning away from his religion, not turning away from worshipping the one true God without idols without partners without intermediaries, though his people had done. And so it's hard to belong to a lot. his wealth was serving the guests for the sake of God to please God, His son was for a means of getting closer to God, even if that meant slaughtering him, right. And even his body was for the sake of a lot, even if it meant it would be burned in a fire at the hands of those dressing pewters. And now we wish to speak about this aspect
of worship of hosting the guests, but from the opposite side, being hosted as a guest. So you being the host is an act of worship in Islam. But likewise, you being the visitor, you being the guest is also an act of worship in Islam. Meaning, this is something that I love loves for you to do, and use part of you being a Muslim surrendering to Allah lifestyle. His way of life is that he wants people to exchange visits. He wants people to visit one another because of the benefit and death for them for their own good God loves to see people strengthening their social bonds, breathing love one with another, and so
on for example, he says, Canada be useful the law by
the province are seldom used to visit the answer. You know, the Muslims when they were persecuted, they fled back and came to Medina, those who fled Mexico called the mohideen. The migrants and those who took them in graciously were the unsung the supporters in Medina and so he's also the
Prophet sallallahu said was one of the migrants he wouldn't just stay in his own corner in Medina. And yes, we were friends are all Muslims, that's fine, but I'm with them, I'm not the view. So he would go out of his way to visit them in their homes.
would visit the onslaught and says feeble, you won't see him.
He said, He is the narrator says, and he would go up to their children, whatever. So we will see him and wipe their heads, the heads of the children, why Andrew left home, and he would make your eye for them as well. And so think of how busy the problem
was, he saw that visiting people in their homes was indispensable. This is a part of the lifestyle that must exist among the Muslims. Because this is what builds the social fabric. He is about to Scylla was busier than we are today in a busy life. And so the reality is, is that we're not so much busier the numbers Yes, we are busier than the ages past. It's true. But certain aspects of our business can be true, but there's back to be trading from our lifestyle. There is also lots of movie watching and lots of time wasted and lots of social media being draining four or five hours of our days. He added his thought was that despite his busy this would make time for this to go to their
houses, visit them see their children and the lights.
And on the prophet SAW Selim die the halifa of the Muslims, the next leader, the busiest man on the planet.
Because he says he went to Roma, his right hand man and he said in Polish when I meet a man the zoo had Kevin
comm Omar let us go visit
is an elderly woman
no politician that isn't on TV would visit it if it's not for public relations and with no one showing it on TV about it or no one would visit here on the lower and we will learn from the prophet SAW Selim would go and visit her the way the prophet SAW Selim is the visitor.
I shall give my mind how the wife of the prophet SAW Selim when Villa became very old, she used to go and visit beloved in his house, and mention to him like she will lift his spirits mentioned to him basically, this is how much the problem is often in love. Do you remember when he said this about you remember what he said that about you. And this is key because certain parts of your society feel alienated of your community will feel alienated, especially the younger half the Bronx are selling right on their heads. And the elders.
And I this is just a quick talking point after the whole, but maybe we can return to it. There used to be easiest thing in the world, it takes up a few emails and about an hour a month, we used to send out groups in New York called virtuous visitations, just like righteous visits, where a group of people would pull together one day a month to go visit the elderly, in the hospitals in their homes, and just tell them, we remember you and we make graphs for you. And we enjoy your company. And we like to listen to your story that we've heard that times we like to be with you. This is extremely important.
Because it means that once to them, you don't have the highly available highly titled an entire chapter called Xiao Hua to gibreel
gibreel the angel Gabriel used to visit the province I'll set it up. And he mentioned that the Messenger of Allah alayhi salatu was set up as inquired about Juanita, why doesn't he visit him as much like it was I want to see you more, it's the greatest gift you can give to me is to actually come to some people think I'm not going to go visit someone because I want to have a gift or it's too costly. The Gift doesn't have to be costly. It could cost you two $3 make some brownies that you're only carrying them over, right? But even if you can't bring anything at all, what's more costly as you're not visiting altogether, even if you're empty headed to just go. And so the prophet
SAW Selim when he was used to visiting being visited by debris, he said to Jimmy, and at the zoo, why don't you Why don't you visit us more. And so a lot of the Most High sent down the verses and sort of money of the chapter on marrying the mother of Jesus, he said down in that surah, one
of the MD Rob, we are the agents were the servants of God, we only come down when God commands us to come in. I'd love to see you more. Right But a lot of explaining to him. It's a matter of I can only come when he sends me. But the point being is the province on some level he stopped receiving what he was used to receiving. He felt he was upset by this he was saddened by this.
Also, our beloved was rude when he became the grand when he became the
The most knowledgeable man will Kufa he left Medina after promised I'll send him died. They all move to different many of them move to different cities to teach people Islam if you want to improve for that city in Iraq, he sat with his competitors. And he sat with me and said to them, how
do you visit each other at all? Meaning Do you guys meet numbers you don't meet outside ministry is telling that's a problem. You can't do that.
He said, Do you visit one another at home or not? They said yes. Even if someone's at the end of unfulfilled feel, go to him. God,
do too to Malaga, he will remain being good people, you will be upon good your situation will be well off so long as you keep this up. I know sometimes it can seem like a high maintenance project to go out of your way to visit someone for the sake of God. But you need to keep doing it. You know, some people may say,
I don't need to be told that visiting people as an act of worship for me to do it. In other words, I don't need religion to be a good person. Many people give the sentiment in our time and our age. But you know, the statistics say otherwise. Research modern research proves that people who attend maps like communal congregations like Gemma either on Sunday in church on Friday in the masjid, people that are exposing themselves to reminders about God once a month. We do that Mr. Jones, are we Christians doing pretty consistent once a week as well. people that do it once a month, are much more likely to visit their family members than others. Because that's what it's about consistency.
I'm not doing it for any reason. There's no business investment involved. There's no selfish interest involved. I'm doing it as displeases God. You know, as a matter of fact, one of the reasons why visiting is high maintenance is because sometimes there's hard feelings between family members. So these people are not just able to go visit others, these people who attend religious services are not able to visit others, even though they don't get benefit. They're able to visit others despite there being some sort of harm involved, they'll still do it. Even though my cousin hasn't talked to me, I'm still gonna talk to them. Even though this is a bit of an annoyance for me or a
complication. I'm still going to do it. Where do they get that consistency from? Because it's not for them. I'm not doing it for to make money out of this. I'm not doing this for any sort of appreciation from them. And so there's no appreciation, I'm gonna stop doing it. I'm doing it for appreciation from above from the heavens. So that's how I'll be consistent. This is the benefit of it being an act of worship. Yes, this is troublesome. But of all the Most High has said to me, as the prophet SAW, Selim reported to us, whatever it may have been at the move, there had been a fee of a mutagen he seen a fee of
the province of law has said my love has been guaranteed for those that love each other for my sake for the sake of God, and sit with one another for my seat
and spend on each other for my sake, and visit each other for my sake. They visit and they spend and they see all of that comes in visitation.
Also the province of
menza on a real one, I will often let him feel that he never had the minister he claimed to to walk off mm shakha whatever what selling agendas, even Xena, when someone visits a sick person or visits their brother for the sake of Allah.
It is said to him he may you be blessing and may every step you take be a reason to be blessing and may you secure a seat in paradise. Because of that visit the angels pray for you and the province all sudden another
an acceptable chain of transmission that he sent to the Sahaba Hannibal's Bill Committee Jatin COVID-19 Jenna shrine for me which many amongst you will wind up in paradise? They said of course it wasn't the mulatos thought and maybe you feel genuine to the prophets artifacts the prophet will be in paradise will still be up and the firmest conviction people firmness conviction will be in paradise was Shaheed of engender, look at this high company, and the Shaheed the martyrs and gentlemen, what allude to the
as a newborn who dies in infancy, or dies before puberty, and the new board is in gentlemen, is in paradise as well one run through your Zoo feeder
Miss Lanzhou in there in LA.
And a man that visits his brother
on the other end of town, not visiting him except for God, this person his agenda as well, this person is in paradise as well. You can imagine the value of this in the sight of God when social reward is is
generated by it.
And of course, this reward before we added saying the importance of doing this religiously, so that you can be consistent, be sure that this reward is compounded, it's a block off when the person you're visiting or the people you're visiting.
are given special priority and rd. So when you're visiting your parents, that's an obligation to visit your parents check up on them whenever you can. If they're locals at least once a week some scholars say you have to visit them and you have to check up on them and how many because you know why? Because how many times you ask your family on the phone whenever you remember to call How are you doing? I just couldn't do the regular conversation. Then when you finally show up you see
we didn't want to bother you would make you come the whole way to find out what's going on when you're actually there. That's why the obligatory to visit your parents in Islam. visiting your relatives as well, is a lesser priority, but also enough of an obligation Islam.
Also, visiting people who are sick is from the defense and communal obligation Islam. passing your condolences to families of people that are married people that have died is an obligation on Islam. Islam even obligated that when someone
invites you to their wedding, the wedding of their family, you must go unless you have a legitimate reason to be excused. You must go and the province or whomever is invited to a wedding or a wedding banquet, and he does not respond he does not oblige for the outside person. He has disobeyed Mohammed he has this will be the Prophet.
Why? Because you can imagine when someone invites you to something that means a lot to them, right you showing up means the world to them, and you don't do it, what that does to the bonds between people.
So the reward is compounded when it's an obligation. But before we compound I want to spend the last 10 minutes in the whole book speaking about how not to drop below the minimum reward. Some of these are orange we mentioned. Instead of getting more reward, let's just talk about how you secure the bare minimum reward. Security that reward is by following the advocates, the teachings that classiness how to be a classy guest when you visit somebody which are often some of
After the break up later, I will try to list nine for you remember of them what you can apply with you can this next holiday or winter season that's coming up in
And that was
all praise and glory, which alone is fine is peace and blessings be upon the one afternoon there is no profit or missing audio sentences. So your award is secured when you observe certain etiquettes that were taught by the prophet SAW said that I want you to reflect even if you're not going to memorize these just appreciate how our Islam gave us a timeless lifestyle addresses every aspect. Even the nuance the mind shade the tiny details of visitation. So the first of them, the promise of a laptop was that when you visit someone you visit sparingly, like you just you take it easy, yes, visiting is good, and there's reward involved. And it's such a great act of worship. But as the
Arabs used to say, zoo is better as the like, visit, after you've been absent for a while you'll be it'll increase the love there is for you. Meaning if you're there every single day, for many hours each day, those are two different ways to you know, to be a burden in your visits, you visit too much, or you visit you prolong the visit.
And so some of the Sahaba because they just wanted to be with the prophet SAW Selim, they enjoyed his company so much. They used to come to his home at times that were not convenient, and then remain in his home before the food came and stay in his home after the food was finished. And this is you being a burden, right? Because number one, as long as you're there a good host, we spoke about it has to keep serving you. That's very good. So also if you come I mean, if your kids don't know the etiquettes that leave them somewhere else until the early 80s. Right. And some people they just bring their children to the home of the kid just oh look.
Wall TV and all this stuff writer islamically you have to replace all these things when your kid breaks them. But just being a burden, sometimes the parent just sits there for hours on edge. And even if his kid is well mannered, he's gonna be well mannered for how long an hour, two hours, and then he just runs loose. And we just sit there sometimes the women are talking to each other than talking to each other jobs. Kids are crazy. Kids are crazy, they have to do something, right. And so some of the Sahaba though, while intending they were oblivious to what's happening around them, even if it wasn't children, there was still some sort of burden. And so it was nice to see ya.
whether you get the Dorito for the Hulu
contest, you know, what have you seen and he had he, he says, When you enter the profits home, you don't enter the home waiting for the food to be prepared. You're waiting until they go, you got to relearn. But when you're invited in, then come in. And then once you eat, don't just sit there and join the conversation. He says why is in Canada, you could be in a BFS that he made what lovely is that even if this bothers the Prophet
but he was too shy to mention it to you and I was not too shy to mention to you right from wrong. I was gonna pointed out he's not gonna let this slide. And likewise, people can just get exhausted from people a shadow a load of the great scholars used to see in that fantastica aka crane arakata adventure, feather and
when you miss the two archives of curse, it means make dragons blame the people that are just
so heavy, right or overbearing, they come in is 910 and 11 and 12. On this love adventure 3am sometimes, right, blame them, it's all their fault.
This is the first thing when you visit visit, visit graciously, sparingly. And when you arrive. That's a second point is that when you arrive, arrive when he lived in your arrival? Yeah, you
to set limits. When you answer unbelievers, when you answer you mentioned a lot actually addresses this in the whole address that important when you enter homes that are not your homes don't do so until you seek permission for this. That's nice when you
seek permission first, and then go in and then after permission is granted. And then make sure you agreed you say a Samaniego announced your entrance after permission has been given. The problem is that you seek permission three times and whatnot means I'm here.
I'm here. The second that means I'm gonna leave. Right? The third, it means I'm gone. I'm leaving now. And you're supposed to leave because maybe he invited you maybe you have permission by time you arrive in the door him and his wife got into World War Three, or some kid got hurt, or he just caught some diarrhea or any sort of emergency. Is it possible. Don't feel like you have to be received even though you're inviting things change.
sell the products or sell them is lower used to be knocked on with the fingertips.
And this is just amazing. How classy
in the middle of a desert 1400 years ago became like how do you transform an entire generation to be this entity oriented? If this is not a miracle? What is the very the prophet SAW Selim transformed this generation, you know, knocking with their fingertips out of respect me imagine people that bang the door or they allow their kids to just ring the bell over and over and over and over again. And he went back then once the guy came and pounded on this door, he came out and saw that who knows who the person
Like, is this a raid police raid? Like are you are you the cops? And why are you begging for unless you know there's a fire in the house where he told you keep bending until I wake up prevention or something? Right It's if we live close enough to each other but why they used to not put their fingertips despite in the beginning of Islam. And the Quran is still being revealed early Medina Allah says in the Medina unit do not come in what are
these people who call out to you from behind the walls are not sensible people. So you have people who their culture is Mohamed come out, that is their culture,
to move all the way on the other end of the spectrum and start doing this.
That degree of politeness consideration. That's what the prophet SAW Selim brought to the world develop that so the second one is when you arrive you your arrival, so gracious, and then you sit
to sit where you are told, and you don't separate between two people.
So those two people on the couch, you don't sit in the middle. Even that degree of wisdom is above, right? He doesn't separate between any two people.
Nor does he keep it make the place tight either.
When you're told make space in the gathering makes space, a one woman space for you in your life, you'll make your life comfortable, as opposed to someone who walks in and there's no seat and you don't just get it on your phone, or you're just busy in your conversation, and you have one meet up on the couch, and you're taking the whole loveseat. Right? make room for people be considerate of that. And also part of sit where you are told it's because you're in a brutal, brutal, vulnerable, right? You can answer someone tells you please, please sit here if you're not just fine. But what if he doesn't want you to think that what if you're going to see something in his house, right? It's a
where the poor woman who's been standing on 200 degree heat for the past four hours, is going to have to put on her hijab now because of you. Or you may see something of her right, which is unacceptable. And so when you enter you sit where you are told you don't separate between people. And then when you answer this is a little bit difficult for us. So fly with our children, we visit our children follow instructions, no matter who you are.
The problems are seldom said no bodies to be led in prayer in his house be so funny in his domain, except with His permission. So if he is the one that is to lead you in religion, indeed, in prayer, that he can definitely lead the gathering, right? And so on grandparents come over and the parents set certain rules, really kids and you just destroy all of that. Not even your own children, just let them be in their domain, let them run the show.
The fifth round, we have about two minutes left or run through some of them quickly. Make sure to be inclusive in your discussions. Our province of a barber I
don't mean edgy and a dedicated casino famous casino. He says let no two people have a conversation and leave out the third person. So they're whispering to each other or they're speaking in a language and third person can understand because this saddens him settings, that third person.
And of course, we can extend this to people sitting together and you pull out a third on your screen, right? You're just having a conversation with someone and ignoring the guy who just spent the feed you took out from his time or during the day off from work or did all of this stuff. This is unacceptable. That's not how a visitor acts in Islam.
Also part of this is to maintain the privacy of the conversation, right? You don't walk out of the house and tell people what was took place in the house with the conversation. You don't walk out and say oh, this person what I saw and then you leave sometimes people pick at people's privacy like you enter the home is oh man that block this TV. How much did you get that for? Are you like an estimator? Like, are you a seller? What are you asking? What do you care moq don't probe into people's privacy and whatever they give you willingly don't share it with others.
And there is so many examples of how the prophet SAW sent him when he visited people he was alerted. There's empathy sensitivities. He never ever, ever criticized any food. Madam visit people for their weddings. The next day, everybody's talking about how bad the food was, right? Everyone's criticizing the food. That's what he said, lastly, don't force someone to eat to force them to give you the reason why they're not eating, maybe they don't like it. The problem he had when he was sitting with people in a gathering, one of them has decks. And so the people began to laugh.
And so he said, he stopped the gathering. He said I don't have room in my house. Now. There's one of you laugh at something that they themselves do. Like who doesn't pass gas, maybe there's gonna be a medical condition maybe has a gas problem. Do not allow that to be sensitive to people in these gatherings. That of course will have the greatest sensitivities you need to have is regarding the elders as well. When two of them came to argue in front of the province. I said Look, he said he stopped one of them. He said Kevin Kennedy, respect the elders respect no matter who you are, what station you how tall you get in life, you respect your elders. And we finally are close with it is
it is absolutely important for us to remember that this is an act of worship.
If this is done for the sake of Allah, that it must uphold the rules of Allah subhanho wa Taala if you're going to attend a wedding, and there's violations happening, don't participate. If it's gonna be a huge disaster for you to leave, then step out. Give your regards and step out if you absolutely must attend the rest there's gonna be like a family meltdown. If you're sitting in a gathering and someone pulls out shisha there's no scholar in his right mind who believes that this pipe right, the water pipe is how do you stop them someone speaking about something how long people have deleted the prayer beyond the sign
They cannot know your place. Know your place. Do not flip the table on anyone can pray on your own.
Do not repeat yourself. Know your place though when you're observing unless the rules you know, I read 100 preparing for this whole thing is that I will close that the province.
A mature hypothesis and this highly controversial regarding authenticity when just imagine yourself in the Prophet students, right. He was visited by someone, and that someone was doing something inappropriate. This happens both both ways as far as whether you're the host really guests. And this person when they came, they had eaten so much that when they arrived, they ate before they came. He burped out loud.
And so the problem some of them said koufonisia. Again,
keep your burps from here from our gatherings for the actor okume shebang, cydonia. out one of whom do anioma tiama the one who fills his stomach the most in this world will have the longest hunger on the Day of Judgment.
The narrator says Alan says, I will never ate his film until he left this world but he never filled his stomach again. What's the point here? What if you What if it was you? What if you said this to your host or said this your guests with the story and when he never made that mistake again, that's not your place, you're not that person. You need to understand that it will be a much more ugly ending, right? And so find words that are genuine or don't address it at all, and night. And finally, you may derive for everyone who said to me come to someone's house you may go out for them before you eat.
It was killing somebody and all these promises Elon would make make them in English make them a narrative that doesn't matter. show people your gratitude show people your gratefulness for the environment. This is the Muslim guest the Muslim visitor
matters in yours and help us implement at least some of the upcoming vacation times invitations that will be exchanged above my mean.