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Wisdom of Luqman(AS) #14
Channel: Mirza Yawar Baig
Series: Mirza Yawar Baig - Wisdom of Luqman
File Size: 28.90MB
Episode Transcript ©
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hola hola Ganga Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu wa salam O Allah Shara filmbay evil mursaleen Muhammad Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam just live on Catherine coffee Rafa. mavado, my dear brothers and sisters,
with the light Allah we are in our session on the wisdom of laquan alayhis salam. And until this session last two or three sessions, I've been talking about the importance of service to your parents, I've been talking about the rights of the parents, and the importance of children.
Lowering the wing of kindness to them, meaning there's not just a matter of, you know, serving them as in, get me a cup of tea. It's a matter of the whole demeanor of what you do.
One of my dear friends, honey vitami sent me a lovely video
of this gentleman, who is talking about his experience.
And it's a it's a wonderful video, I thought it's, it illustrates the question and the importance of honoring parents and of,
of the of the way of treating them.
The gentleman says that one day I was sitting with my parents, my mother was sitting opposite. I was sitting next to my father on a sofa. And my nephew, my sister's son, was sitting with his grandmother meaning my mother
on the other side, and the condition while on about something the TV was going on TV was on.
And in that time, this month, this gentleman says that I
took the opportunity of the fact that people's attention was on the television and elsewhere. So I
took some money out of my pocket is that I wanted to give some money to my father. So I took some money out of my pocket, and I gave it to my father.
Now, he says that I didn't realize but my mother saw that.
And she said my mother was a tough lady. So she had a very brusque way of speaking. So he said that my mother
said to me, who
give again, and she said it in this kind of a tone Dorado
give again. So he said, I was a bit startled
for a minute. And then she said to me, duardo, and then it mean give again. And then she said to her grandson, which is the nephew who was sitting next to her.
This man very, you know, humorously says, whoa, I bought a Ford. I would say watch a food guy who's walked by nature food kata. So he said in today, he is six feet three, or six feet four. And
at that time, he was about, you know, five feet nine or something. Suit under six feet tall, a young boy.
So she then she says, the grandmother says to the, to the child, she says, they call mama Kai said, she said, Look and see how your uncle is giving. He doesn't count the money she does. See how he is giving. So this man's that I was very self conscious. But I gave it I, my father gave me back the money and I gave it to him in the way that I had given him before. And which is like this. He said, I put the money in my hand and I presented it like this to my father this and he said that the reason I gave it that way I didn't give it like this. I gave it this way. I didn't give it with an upper hand I gave it as if I am making a as if I'm giving a gift to a great king. I'm giving a great
I'm giving a gift to some great chef or something. You know where I am the supplicant even though I am giving I am the one in need. So I am presenting it and saying please accept it. Because by accepting it you are going to add value to me. If you just touch it, if you accept it, if you indicate that you have accepted it.
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La Liga, to Mary's in the band a man a person gives an Asana or an EOS or an offering like this, he doesn't consider himself to be the giver. He considers himself actually to be the person in need. And he is hoping that the person to whom he is offering this, who is the King, who is the ruler, who is the, you know, the great share the island, the pier, if he accepts it, then I am the one who has been hugely benefited, and I am the one who has, who has truly benefited because, my,
my, my, my humble offering was accepted by the king. So he said he made a silly history.
He said, I gave it to my father, like this as a as an offering. So he said, My nephew saw this. And
then the nephew said to him, he said, Please, go stalk him after he says, forgive my impertinence, but I just want to understand better
he says, apne security I said, Why did you give it like this?
So the gentleman says, k Zindagi berneray violet kaha asita
xinda you have got
to manage a DAG Abuja booga booga booga ha ha ha ha ha shunga Mira Ha ha, my
data malita to AB mega DNA DNA Magellan it Taka de cerca de Tomic data be Who? I say just like a lira. Or my mother Magento Magento. Dang, what do I use carto Malini right now, don't worry, I'm speaking in order, because
of the audience as well. But I'm every word I say. And although I will translate it, so he the son this never asked him. He said, Why did you give like this, I want to understand I am Please forgive my impertinence. Forgive the fact that I'm asking this question I just want to understand. So this gentleman says that all my life.
I have been like this with my father, meaning I was the one in need. If I needed money I had, I had to go and ask my father, it doesn't mean that he always asked like this, meaning that he was the receiver. So he says my father's hand was always this way My father always gave me. And this is how he gave me because this is money. He's giving it to me like this. And I'm taking it like this. Right? Now.
Today, when Allah has given me well, and has given me the ability to serve my parents, I don't want my parents to feel that they are the ones in need. So I don't want my father's hand ever to change from here to here. He should never have to ask anything.
Right? He should never have to ask anything. Before he asked, I must give him and when I give him I must give him with this deep and sincere understanding that by taking it, he's adding value to me. I'm not doing him any favor. I'm not doing you any favor. But by accepting it from me, he's adding value to me. Because at the end of the day, my brother sisters I asked you, we only get what Allah has written for us. Only the means changes. Right? Only the means changes.
Your wife, for example, when she was growing up in our parents house, she was getting her sustenance from her from her parents. Then she marries you. And now Allah has written her sustenance, it is her sustenance. But Allah wrote it in your account. And so are you are you it she gets it to you?
Doesn't mean that she's you know,
she, Allah has only changed who is feeding.
Allah only changed the means, from here to here.
I'm working in a company
and I'm getting a salary, I leave that job, will I stop will will I die? No. I joined some other company. So only the means through which Allah gives us
only that changes.
So with parents, this is the approach that one must have the approach of a supplicant who goes to his parents and treats every opportunity to serve them as a personal boon as a personal benefit
as a personal gift to him from Allah Subhana
Allah gave you the gift of serving your parents.
Allah gave you the gift of serving events. And which reminds me of the holidays, which I mentioned before what you know, these are things which are, which would be literally mentioned again and again, maybe on a daily basis.
And that is that is where a young man came to sell them, and complain about his father.
And he said to him, that my father takes my money without asking me.
Now, maybe it was even, you know, it could be also a matter of inconvenience for the man because for example, if he, if he picks up his wallet, or you know, whatever, he used to carry money, however, they carried it, and thinking that he has got something in it. And then when he goes to the market, for example, he finds is not there, because his father has taken it from there, and didn't tell him, you know, he feels maybe maybe he feels irritated Allah, Allah, Allah knows best what the But anyway, he came, and he complained, and he said, jasola, my father takes my money takes money from me or takes my money without asking me. So please tell him not to do that.
Now Rasulullah sallallahu sent for the father, he said, call the Father.
Somebody went to call the Father and of course, they would have told him that this is what happened was, he would have asked him what happened to me, why is the professor Selim calling me? So obviously, they would have told him that look, this is your son, is there his complaint, that you take his money without asking him? Now this man on his way, he's walking from his house to a solo seldom,
he said, some ashar. He said, some, he recited some poetry in his heart. He didn't, he didn't say it aloud in his heart. And the gist of the poetry is he said that,
or LA there was a time when
he said that when the child is born,
my whole life changed, is this is the point he was was addressed to the son, he said, when you were born, my whole life changed.
My whole life,
focus, change, and the focus was your benefit.
Everything I did was for your benefit.
And as you grow older, as you grow stronger, I became weaker.
He said, The strength of my bones, the strength of my muscles, strengthen my body, it went into your bones.
And today our time has come when you complain that I am taking your money without your permission. Now he decided this poetry in his heart he thought of of these verses of poetry. And then he reached personas. And so when he reached a sort of solemn
and ressourcer, Saddam was about to ask him about this whole matter. gibreel esalaam came to Him. And He said to him, before you ask this man, any question, I asked him to recite the poetry that he thought in his heart, because he is Rob Jalla Jalla, who heard that poetry on his
end, he wants you to hear it. So as soon as he listens to the man,
you recited some poetry in your heart
to the man together, so I Yes, I did. But how do you know? So? I've said gibberella salaam is here. And he says that Allah subhanaw taala heard the poetry that you recited in your heart and Allah wants me to hear it. So recite the poetry for me. The man decided these verses again, that he had said, sola, sola, salams face became red with anger. Now surah Salaam turn to that to the young man and he said, get out of your head, get out of here. He said, If your father takes you, and sells you in the market, like a slave, he has a right to do that. He said, You and everything you own belongs to your father.
So forget about complaining that he's taking what is yours? He says he can take you also. And what is yours is not yours. It's actually his he's taking his own thing and you have no right to competence Get out of here. Now, this is the
position of the parents May Allah give us the trophy and the ability to recognize this and to take advantage of this and that is the reason why I sort of have seldom said your parents, two of them, the two gates, whether they are gates of gender or the gates of jahannam depends on you, but they are the two gates and therefore make sure that you make them into gates of Jannah inshallah.
Now while talking about the obligation of children, to obey parents, it is necessary
Also to remember that parenting is responsibility. Parenting is not simply the biological activity of reproduction. Right? So please understand that it's not just something that is not accidental. It's not like in an animal, you know, you drop a calf and it's gone. No. It's a very different thing altogether. And therefore, it is a responsibility parenting. the raising of children is a responsibility. I've written a book on this. It's called raising a Muslim child. It's on Amazon and everywhere else, please do read it. Now, when obedience is ordained, and it is forth on the children tarbiyah is ordained and forth on the parents.
Please understand this very, very clearly.
tarbiyah does not mean throwing money at them. tarbiyah does not mean throwing gadgets at them. Serbia does not mean turning on an iPad and putting the child plunking the child two year old in front of the iPad, and he is now watching the iPad like, like a cat or kitten or something. Yeah, this is not therapy, please understand this. today one of the biggest things May Allah not hold it against us and mirrorless mantle and not ask you a question about that is this whole issue of screen times. And the whole issue of gadgets, and mothers, especially mothers, and because it usually happens with mothers,
giving their children their phones, or their, their iPads or whatever devices, just to keep them quiet, just to keep them engaged, they don't want to spend the time with them, engaging them, teaching them, playing with them, having fun with them, they just want to give them a gadget and leave them with it so that they can get on with their lives. My brothers sisters, please do me a favor. You know, if you're before you have a child,
think about it carefully.
Right? Think about it carefully. There are much cheaper alternatives, as you know, right? They come in a cardboard box. think very carefully. Don't, don't just have children, and then spend the rest of your life trying to avoid that, or trying to get rid of them in one way or the other. Either by sending them off to some daycare center to early in their lives or before that, you know, handing them over to whichever gadget you use. This is a huge crime. And this is a crime that you as a parent are committing against your child and May Allah protect you from yourself, Allah will hold you accountable for this, please don't do that this is this is a horrible, horrible way. I won't
even say a horrible way of raising children because it's not a way of raising children at all. And either horrible, horrible, because this is not raising children, this is abdicating of the responsibility of raising children. And my wind is very simple. If you do not want to raise children that don't have children, it is better for you not to have children than to have children and to leave them like animals to grow any which way and don't give me the fake about whether it is permissible to to practice, you know,
birth control on and so on and so forth. Please understand, I'm not talking about the feeling of that, yes, it is permissible to practice birth control, if you have no time and no energy and and no desire to raise your children. So helped me a lot.
data we have children is your responsibility. And it is your primary responsibility. You want to talk about fifth Let me tell you about the fifth in in in Hana. Vivek, the only duty on the wife please hold my hand up you wake up.
The only duty on the wife according to mama want to Lala is the therapy of the children nothing else. It is your duty as a husband to not just give your wife or naphtha, which is her spending money which does not mean house money. It is her spending money and NACA is what you are supposed to work in keeping with your status. So it is not sufficient to give your wife in this day $10 or you know 1000 rupees, which will buy her maybe three pounds or something.
Give her enough according to your own status of which you are about which you are so proud. That is a spending money that spending money is hers to spend on herself, to give to her parents to give in charity to do whatever she likes. without reference to you. She doesn't have to ask you she doesn't have to tell you.
In addition to that, you it is your job.
To give her money to run the house, if she's running the house or you run down, you go to the market go buy the vegetables and whatnot, and bring them and cook them and give her cooked food. Because in the end According to mamajuana, Talalay, it is your responsibility as a husband to give your wife cooked meals.
Right. So you got two choices become chef,
de la la la.
We like to use a fifth to our advantage, right? Follow the man who's most who's most convenient. anytime anybody praises me and say, Oh my god, I got just so beautiful. That is such a such a nice explanation. I remind myself and say he's saying that because he likes it because it suits his liking.
To I'm the I'm a great, beautiful shake. Who gives a beautiful explanations just because you happen to like them.
I don't fool myself, believe me. I do not fool myself. If I gave you an explanation, which you didn't like, then I would be the worst shaking shack on the market. You know, I agree. This is horrible. duxiana z. Buddha de la hora. De is a guy Sony, john Takaki. But our Gentlemen, I mean, that would that is what you would tell me and the anonymous speakers, I didn't use a single curse word. In all of that, believe me.
Sisters, wake up.
Wake up. This is a beautiful religion. Live it the way it is supposed to be lived and you will become the most beloved person on the face of the earth to anyone who's around you.
So to come back to the issue of tarbiyah tarbiyah of children of your children is your primary responsibility. It is not the primary responsibility of the school teacher or the daycare center person, and it's not the primary responsibility of the iPad or the iPhone, it is your primary responsibility. So, we would like that
work on it because you will be asked primary responsibilities we will be questioned about. So let us not play games with that. Now that is what also bestows honor on the parents and gives them the status that alligator
children are told to be good to the parents no matter what the parents do or do not do.
The two are not connected. We are not saying to the children, honor only parents who have been good to you honor only parents who are Muslim honor only parents who are pious. No, you honor your parents, no matter what. That's an independent thing. However, for the parents, if you are
a bad parent, if you are not giving their children what is due to them, which is tarbiyah
then you are questionable violence ran out Allah and if Allah does not forgive you, then He will punish you.
And as I told you, what is do to them is not only food and food, clothing and shelter, you are not looking after baby goat even though you call it a kid. You are looking after a baby human being
right? Who is the look of Allah subhanho wa Taala even though you call it yours is not yours is Allah subhanaw taala is Muslim, which has been given in your care to take care of
and it belongs to Allah subhanaw taala. So if you neglect and if you do not take care of it, and if you do not give it the proper therapy, then you are answerable to the owner who is who who is Allah subhanaw taala.
So throwing money at kids is not sufficient, just feeding them is not sufficient. Taking them for this holiday, that holiday is not sufficient. Because all of this for a lot of people just comes out of get, you have not given them the time. So instead of the time you buy them a new iPhone, instead of the time you buy them some gadget instead of the time you throw money at them, instead of the time you buy them lollipops that does not work.
There is no substitute.
You don't want to spend time with them. Because it means also in today's day and age when the kids are when the children are so exposed to the world. Their knowledge level generally is much better than the elders. And the elders don't want to look like fools before their children. So therefore, because you don't want to read this, ask yourself a simple question. How many books did you read in the last in the last one year? Let me be kind with you in the last one year, even though a lot of that one year have maybe in different countries, different numbers. But in many countries, anything from three months to six months to more has been spent sitting at home so you can't complain about
not having had time. There's plenty of time did you use that time?
Did you spend that time productively which would have been in
in reading something beneficial? Did you do that?
So if you are not going to read, obviously your knowledge level is whatever it was when you will
When you left school in the 50s 60s,
and your child is now in 2020. So your child actually has more knowledge than you have. The problem is he doesn't know how to interpret that knowledge, because he's getting bombarded with knowledge all over the place with information, really not even knowledge.
And you don't have the understanding to be able to guide him.
So what do you what do you want to do?
So parents don't want to spend time with children. So parents don't want to spend time with children because they feel like fools
and they don't want to take the time and energy to stop being.
raising children is a responsibility.
And whether you planned it or didn't plan it, if you have children now, it is your responsibility you bought into it,
and you will be questioned about it. And if Allah doesn't forgive you, you will get punished for it. Just like there is other Hippo Giardia There is also Azaria.
If a child is doing something wrong, because because of your lack of guidance, then you are responsible for that.
And you will get the reward or punishment for it. Please don't do this yourself.
Upgrade yourself. Study, learn, teach,
Don't just watch
We have to read.
Somebody asked me why should I read I watch videos I said if you if you just watch videos, then what about people who died before YouTube given to me?
Where are those videos?
I mean, sometimes the questions that I get asked, I really have to ask myself as the person asking the question does even have a brain.
So the point is, raising children is a responsibility. And Allah has given it to us. So let us spend time and do that. think another thing.
A lot of parents have this complaint saying my children don't respect me. Tell me if you had been the teacher of Quran for your child.
If you had been the teacher of Quran for your child, would your child have respect you Do
you know the reason why for a lot of parents children don't respect them. And I'm not saying this
the children who are listening to this please this is not a license for you to disrespect your parents if you are disrespecting your parents you are making your own place in Jannah please understand that
I am saying this as a to the parents alone as a wanting to say that if your children if if throughout your life, the only thing that your children have got from you is material stuff.
Then as far as you are concerned, you were a ATM machine for your children.
They wanted money they came to you.
Some of it you gave without them asking other things you gave them because they asked but that was the sum total value of
of your value in their life.
You are a meal ticket. You are an ATM machine.
What do you want?
who respects an ATM machine?
an ATM machine is used. It is not respected.
So as long as they needed us to use you, they don't need you anymore.
I have mentioned this story before. But I know I remember this Michigan mentioning it again
that there was
friend of ours whose mother died.
So they are to data
went to you know control with them with her.
And finally choose chill perfectly normal as if nothing had happened. So anyway, we made the appropriate noises and you know, he said I'm very sorry that your mother passed away. And this lady was very frank, outspoken. And really she said, Well, you know, and you're sorry. Well, I was sorry, but really, so much.
So we thought this is a kind of strange
way of talking, you know, mother dies, and you say so what?
So he said, Well, you know, I mean, really, I
should be saying not true, but how to say something like that. So what chamada
he said No, I'm saying seriously. So what? Because my mother was never there for me.
My mother had her own social
Life, she had her own club, she had her own pity parties, he had her own friends and she had her own groups and so on. I was very well the people is I was brought on by governances. I was brought up by, yeah, you know by
well, within courts servants.
So materially I hadn't, I never needed anything. I mean, you know, there was someone to take care of me Take care, my clothes are always our food. I didn't have to worry about anything. It was a car and a driver, I could go where I want. My mother was not there. And I wanted my mother. I didn't want the car and the driver and the governance and the food and the clothing. I wanted my mother. My mother was never there. Because my mother was busy with her own life.
Now, what respect do you expect?
On the other hand, if your children learned from you,
I'm saying Quran because that is obviously the best thing but
not only the Quran,
Till today, I remember
people in my life,
who are not my parents, Abdullah had beautiful parents, and I learned a lot from them. And inshallah I respected them. And they love me, I'm not talking about other people in my life, some of them, some of whom are not even Muslim. But as I was growing up,
they taught me.
They nurtured me, they mentored me, they gave me opportunities to grow.
They gave me opportunities to learn, sometimes lessons, which were very tough.
But they did that they invested their time and energy in my development, today, 50 years later.
I think of them with so much a warmth and love and affection.
And I truly miss them in my life. There are these people who today I wish they were there.
So that they could see
what I do today. And so I could talk to them about that and so on. So
please understand, respect is directly proportionate to investment of time, and effort and energy in the raising of your child.
If you invested that time and effort and energy,
your child will automatically respect you, you don't have to say anything.
But if you did not do that,
and if all that you did was to feed them and to buy them gadgets and to buy them clothes, and to send them to this good school and that good school, believe me, when you get old, those children are going to treat you if you are lucky, then they will treat you like a favorite old dog. And if you are not lucky, then you will be relegated somewhere to some outside outhouse table
and nobody will bother.
Why does that happen?
Because there is no appreciation
valuable from you.
Parenting is a responsibility.
So do take it seriously.
It is good to remember
that the authority that you want
the honor you want
if you want that, then you have to honor the source from you from which you got it.
Uh What is that source? That sources Allah Subhana Allah Allah Allah.
The source of that honor is Allah subhanaw taala
It is because of his hokum
that you got this.
So be obedient to Allah. And Allah will make your children obedient to you. If you are not obedient to Allah, the desire to be obedient to you will also leave the hearts of witches.
Today we have a strange phenomena of Muslim parents
trying to force their children not to follow the sun
if the boys grow their beards
Mothers and fathers have a problem. If they go to the masjid, the parents have a problem. If the girls want to wear hijab, the mothers usually they have a problem.
And in our culture, they will tell them, oh, nobody will marry you as if that is the ultimate purpose of life to get married.
Nobody will marry you, and this will happen and that will happen. And then
they complain when the same children who they stop
from going to the masjid
when they don't respect the parents, these parents have a problem.
When that child was being obedient to Allah, you try to stop him maybe you will succeed who knows.
So now when the child does not respect you, you got a problem. When he wanted to respect Allah, you stopped him.
So now when he doesn't want to respect you,
what is the problem?
This is the outcome of what you did with that child.
If the child had gone to the masjid, you know what he would have heard there, he would have heard somebody like me saying what I've been saying in this series of lectures on Soloman, that child would have learned your rights as a parent, that child would have learned that he or she should respect you as parents, you stop them from the budget. So, who stopped them from getting that
knowledge from getting that desire from getting that ammunition from getting that reminder
and the result is that now you are suffering.
I mentioned his story
before, but again,
I want to mention again,
I was in Chennai,
I had been invited to do a series of lectures and most of them work in schools and colleges. So we
went to different schools and colleges.
And one of the lectures was in a very large
school in Jenin.
So after I my lecture finished, it was to the entire school assembly. So the whole school was there, all the students, all the teachers and the ward 1000 students. So after my lecture was over,
I usually do not have question and answers. Because there are no question i don't i don't talk about masala, fake and so on and so forth. So what questions to ask. So I just tell people, I'm talking about the greatness and glory of Allah subhanaw taala. Just listen and let it sink into your heart, ask your heart, look into your life and say, you know, how am I applying them? There's no question to answer. But anyway.
The organizers have, sometimes they have different
views on it. So in this case, the organizer said, Are there any questions and there was a little girl and she must have been maybe 10 years old or 11 years old?
Not couldn't have been more than 10 or 11 in the back? Who is on it?
So I said Yes, please. What's your question?
So this little one, she's said something I it was quite far away the big hall. So I said, Come here and tell me Come come up to the stage. So she came up to the stage.
And he said to me, I have a question. My question is, and she was wearing a hijab. She said, my question is, I am wearing the hijab. I like wearing this job.
But my mother tries to remove the job, my mother tries to force me not to wear hijab. She says, If you wear a hijab, nobody will marry you.
What shall I do? Should I remove the hijab? And she said, I have another question. The other question is that I don't like to watch television. My mother watches all kinds of soap operas is that I don't like to watch television. But my mother forces me. She catches hold of me makes me sit there. And she makes me watch all of this stuff. And she says you will learn about life.
Watch what shall I do?
You know, seriously, I mean, I wept. Because I thought to myself that here is a child.
Allah gave her a mother to guide her and his mother is misguiding her. So really speaking, this child would have been better off being an orphan, being a team having no mother, because at least she would not have got this adult. This parent
a brother sisters is really seriously
do you want to be parents
and in some cases that may be out of your hand you already are parents, I get serious about that. It can be the most and it is the most beautiful thing because your children are one of the ways of psutka to Algeria for you, these are these are the children are a pious child making dua for his parents is a means of ongoing goodness. A man knows a man's status in Jannah was increased his data and gender was increased. So he asked Allah subhanaw taala How did this happen?
Allah America said because of the drama of your of your child,
so this children like that,
and that will happen. If you get serious about parenting.
Make it step one, make a lot of Toba
and correct your ways. If you have not been doing what you should be doing it's high time.
Sit your children down, apologize to them, tell them I'm sorry, I have not given you the time and attention that I should have given you.
My eyes are now open the skills have dropped.
So I'm going to now spend time with you. And I'm going to try and help you in order to succeed. And we begin with worshiping Allah subhanaw taala together
more later inshallah Jazakallah khairan. For Watching as I as I keep saying all the time, the purpose of all of this is application application application was Allah Allah will carry Murali. He was happy to go