Mirza Yawar Baig – Master Class Decision Making
AI: Summary ©
The essential decision is the effect of taking a wrong decision on one's life and cost of marriage. Number 1 is the number of essentials, while number 2 is the number of desirable. A woman must be clear about essential decisions and give a weight on the point to determine whether she wants to marry. A speaker emphasizes the importance of making a clear selection of one's essentials to avoid confusion and mistakes.AI: Transcript ©
I promise to do a master class on
decision making.
So that is what we will do now.
I suggest you take some notes. Otherwise, you're
not gonna remember this.
I will do this in I will do
this in 15 minutes.
The first and most important thing to do
is
to
identify
the most important things that you need to
decide about.
Not every decision has the same weightage.
So what is
what constitutes
an important decision?
There are 3 things. Number 1,
the effect of that decision.
How
heavy is it going to be?
How important, how heavy, how critical,
how serious,
within court sometimes in some sub cases, how
threatening
potentially?
Second thing is
how long will the effect of the decision
last?
So even if it's a difficult decision or
a
heavy decision, maybe it doesn't last for a
long time. So it's not that important. So
is it something which lasts for a long
time?
And third thing is,
what is the cost of taking a wrong
decision?
So if these three things are
important enough, then that decision is a critical
decision.
Now what you need to do in that
decision? Now some some examples of these decisions.
1 of the
one of the probably, especially a lot of
young guys here, one of the most critical
ones is who do you marry?
Absolutely. It's a heavy decision. It's a lifelong
decision, and the effect of that is, you
know, long.
And the cost of making a wrong choice
is very heavy.
You marry the wrong man or wrong woman
and you are in serious trouble. Right?
So that's one.
Some other decisions,
including something, for example, like buying a car.
I mean, you know, you don't buy a
car every day, so which is a good
car to buy and so on depending on
what people are giving you. Maybe buying a
house,
a job,
choosing a career in one line or the
other line and so on and so, including
higher studies. For example,
do you want to go for a particular
course or some other course? For example, do
you want to go into do pre med
and go into,
becoming
a doctor, a physician, or do you want
to be a, say, a nurse practitioner?
Right? You still make good money.
The the work you've done and so on.
Study is not that heavy. It doesn't take
that long, faster return, and so on. So
different kinds of,
decisions.
Now the first thing to do with any
decision
is to decide on what
I call the essentials.
The essentials are those things without which
you that decision that that thing is not
acceptable. Right?
The essentials are absolutely critical
for you to decide
in favor of that decision.
So take marriage for example. Easiest to illustrate
that's why I'm using that.
You might say,
as a man,
the woman must
be Muslim.
Essential. If she is not Muslim,
I don't care what else is there. I
will not consider.
Then you might say, well, Muslim meaning
because we are from,
she must be a Sunni Muslim.
So if she is of she may be
a Muslim, but she is from other some
other sect, we
do not,
you know, I will not marry that lady
because she's not from.
Essential. Meaning
that now a proposal comes to you where
there is this woman. She is very beautiful.
She is wealthy. She is highly educated. She
is very, very well connected and so on
on and so on, but she is not
a Muslim
from the.
You say, no. Thank you very much.
Not for me.
The reason I'm giving you this example is
because it's easiest to illustrate. And the point
I want to make here is essentials means
that you have to be clear in your
mind that this is what we call a
go, no go situation.
Right? It is a live or die situation.
It's a it's a make or break situation.
So if the essential is not there, you
are not going to consider anything else.
Say, for example, you want to buy a
house.
So you say, okay, brother, make make, you
know, a list of essentials. So you say
the how the essentials. Again, remember the word
essential. He said essential is the house must
have 3 bedrooms
with attached bathrooms.
The house must be less than 10 miles
from my
work.
These are the 2 essentials.
So now I find you a house which
is 15 miles away from your work, has
3 bedrooms with with attached bathrooms. Will you
take it or you don't take it? You
don't take it. No matter how stupid that
sound, you do not take it because you
are it does not satisfy your essential.
The point I want to make for you
is that is the reason why you should
be very clear in your mind about essentials.
The biggest confusion happens, the reason why people
take bad decisions is because they decide on
some things as essentials, and then they go
and change them.
Then they get a proposal. Ah, you know,
no. This this after all this, you're done.
You're you're finished.
You can't make a decision.
Essentials means that go no go. No matter
how nice that other part looks, you will
not touch it because it does not satisfy
your essence.
What it also means is
the more the number of essentials,
the narrower your choice.
So for example, if you say this girl
I want to marry must be Muslim, must
be
must be Ashari,
must not be Maturidi,
must be Somali
from Somaliland,
not from Somalia,
must be
you can say all this. You can say
anything you want. Right? Make a list of
25.
There is you'll probably end up and saying,
create this woman because she does not exist.
Right?
Because all this long this time and now
there is no such thing.
So be clear about that. Essentials
cannot be changed, but the more essentials you
have, the narrower your choice.
Then the second part is what I call
desirables.
Now desirables are those things which are nice
to have but not essential.
It should be clear in your mind. Absolutely
clear. Nice to have. If it is there,
good. If it is not there, no problem.
But essentials,
without that, I will not decide.
So now what you do with the desirable
is so so you have these two choices.
Here is choice 1, choice 2. You say
choice 1, essentials are these
desirables,
choice 2, essential.
Now you say the desirable what you do
is you give them what we call weightage.
So for example, the house example.
House must have 3 bedroom with attached bathroom,
must be 10 miles from my work. Now
desirables
must be in a nice
neighborhood.
How many on a on a on a
weighted scale of 1 is to 10, how
many points do you want to give to
that? Nice neighborhood. How many points?
1 is your 10, 5 points. Okay. Five
points. Right? Then you might say, this house
must have a nice garden with a lawn
in front. How many points to that?
10. That's it. That are that important?
Okay. Not important. Ten points. Right?
You might say this house also must have
a,
very fancy kitchen.
How many points?
8 points. So 8 and 10 is 18
plus
5 is how much? 23.
So 23 points.
So now you got another house
where
it has
the
nice neighborhood,
has a great kitchen,
but the front lawn is, you know, kind
of.
So you say, well and I and I
add up these points.
It's not coming 23. It's coming to maybe
17,
and another one is coming when I add
up the points, it's coming to 22. So
I choose the one which is 22 instead
of 17. You get the point? Okay. So
what we are doing here is we are
taking the whole decision making process
and making it into a measurable
method which you can
institute.
And you will get fantastic decisions.
So quick recap
is number 1.
I told you 15 minutes. This is just
9 minutes. Number
1.
What's the number
1? Two points. Essential then?
Desirable. Very nice. What about essentials?
Quick turn. Essential must be what?
Clearing your mind. Clearing your mind. Number 1.
Number 2?
Go
or no go. Go or no go. Absolutely.
Can you change them? Once you make them,
can you change them? Nope.
Once you make them, you don't change them.
Right? And how many essential should we have?
No. Really. I mean, seriously.
Have make sure it is essential
because if you if you load up too
many essentials, your decision becomes very tough. The
the the choice completely narrow narrows down. One
of the places where a lot of young
guys would get in trouble
is with carriers.
Because they say I you qualify, you get
a good degree, but I must be close
to my mom and dad. I must be
in my town. You you just you just
destroyed 3 quarters of your of your option,
bro.
Allah gave you the whole world.
But you are saying no. No. My arth
is only West Springfield then you are dead
before you started, right?
So you have to have
give yourself options, keep it open but
on the converse side, if you keep everything
open then you will be spinning around like
a top. I mean, you won't you will
not be able to decide anything.
This is also good. That's also good. That's
no decision. So don't do that. Don't do
this or that. Right?
Essential. And desirables, what must you do with
them? Desirables?
Quick quick quick. Weighted.
Weighted.
Correct. Absolutely. Put weighted on the desirables
on a scale of 1 is to 10.
How much how much is each one? How
many numbers you want to put to that?
And then when you have these two options,
here is option 1, satisfied
satisfied
all essentials,
satisfies the desirables. This is the number. Here
is option 2. Satisfies all essentials.
Desirable number is that much. You take you
take the one, which is more.
Right? How about if you have this this
option satisfied all essentials? The other one satisfies
all desirables,
but one essential is missing. Will you choose
that?
Nope.
Nope.
You will not choose that. Believe me, this
thing is painful. When you are doing that,
sometimes it is painful.
But you'll never regret it this much, I'll
tell you. If you are clear about your
essentials,
the decision will be a good decision.
Right? And you you avoid for yourself a
lot of confusion, a lot of unnecessary talk
because it gets you nowhere. Instead of that,
get your essentials clearly. Point number 1, point
number 2, point number 3, then you are
done. These are all okay. Nice. Nice to
have. Nice to have.
Alright?
Is it clear?
Grant us the opportunity
to make good decisions which are good for
us in the duniya
and.
Related Episodes
- Mirza Yawar Baig – Method of Eid Salah
- Saad Tasleem – Preparing for Ramadan – EP04 Making up Missed Fasts
- Tim Humble – Kids Class 12 – Before We Pray
- Mirza Yawar Baig – Wisdom of Luqman-Session 29
- Mirza Yawar Baig – Sighting or calculation
- Hamzah Wald Maqbul – 20150218 Fiqh Class.mp4
- Hamza Yusuf – Making the World Safe for Community, Commerce, and Creed – The Prophet’s Mission