Inspirations From The Righteous – 15

Ismail Kamdar


Channel: Ismail Kamdar


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Episode Notes

Biography of the first believer Khadija Bint Khuwailid

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AI Generated Summary ©

The Hadees were considered sexist and used as sexists. The lack of a needed culture in the Middle East and the struggles of businesses and finding trustworthiness were discussed. The importance of good character in marriage and finding the right person for a job were also emphasized. The importance of adoption and respect for elders was also discussed. The segment highlighted the impact of parents on children and the importance of learning from history and people.

AI Generated Transcript ©

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salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was salam wa rahmatullah de Lisle, Amina Manta via de novo BSN Isla Yomi. Dean. We begin by praising Allah subhanho wa Taala and asking him to send his peace and blessings upon the final prophet Muhammad, even above the level of law he was alone, and all those who follow his way with righteousness until the last day.

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Today inshallah, we are going to be looking at the foot of the woman of perfection.

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We go back to a Hadees we mentioned a few months ago,

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we said that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam secret, there were many men in history who attain perfection in a man, but only for women attain perfection of the man.

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And he listed this for a woman as Asya, the wife of the millennium, the daughter of Iran, Khadija Haley, in particular, the daughter.

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Now, just to put the Hadees in context, right, because again, you know, nowadays people turn every Hadees into a sexist issue, right? So the Hadith is in many villages prediction for a prediction. Is this talking bad about men? No, because the many men is actually referring to the purpose, right? The many, many studies, he's talking about the prophets, maybe over 100,000 workers. So of course he did with over 100,000 properties. That means there were over 100,000 men who achieved perfection. So that is many men. Right? So we have to put in that context, the idea of a nonprofit having perfect Mr. This is very rare. And so for both men and women, the nonprofit's who had perfect demand may not

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many Rasulullah saw license needed there were many men who perfected the demand. This is talking about the prophets of Allah and is therefore not in any way, putting down a woman

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to the Hadees must be understood in that context. And these old woman daddies does not mean they are the only woman to have a high status. No, they we, as we have seen in this program, there have been dozens of amazing and maybe 1000s of amazing women throughout history. What this, what this means is that these were the four best of the best, the top four, right, so we looked at

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the white of the paddle, and how she stood up to her husband, and we looked at money. The mother is giving birth to a child outside of marriage and fitness. She had to go through the miraculous books and the way the society dealt with it. And we looked at the mother daughter, Muhammad Ali Salah, and how to attain righteousness at a young age. She passed away at the age of 29. Yet she was a woman of conviction. Today we look at the fourth woman which was mother, right for the job.

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To Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was a man of perfection, and he married the perfect woman.

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And together the produce a child was also perfectly happy man. So he Fatima was so amazing. How amazing was that today? Who was for the job? What role does she play in our history? And more importantly, what can we learn for our lives? From the history of the life of Khadija radi Allahu Allah? So this is Khadija one of the woman of perfection. And

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something I found interesting in doing the research is that with all four of these women, we have less details compared to other women in history.

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When we spoke with Ayesha on how he spoke for four hours, and we haven't even scratched the surface.

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We spoke about other women that Miss lean masala we know more about him than we do about Asya Amaya. Right. It seems Allah subhanho wa Taala. When he comes to the the fulfillment of perfection, all he has told us about them is that which we can benefit from. We don't know the details of the lives. We don't know the details of the marriage of Rasulullah sallallahu Dejah. What did they do in those 25 years together? We don't know. We don't know the details of how she raised the children. We know the results of what she raised the type of children she produced, how they change the world. But exactly how she raised them what methodology that she used. We don't have the details. Now in the case of

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Khadija there's a very specific reason why we don't know the details. Can anybody think of Why?

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Why don't we know the details like how we know the details of Ayesha masala. Why don't we have the same level of detail on Egypt?

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Because she passed away in the early years of Islam in the market era in the modern era Do we know historians

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Do we know scholars of Islam, they were a handful of Muslims battling for survival. nobody's really reading this, nobody's writing history books, nobody's taking down dates of birth and dates of death and things like that. And that's why you're gonna see the confusion regarding that as well. The only time that something was in the medieval period when the Muslims had their own city, they had the peaceful place. That's where scholars came about. And so that's why when you study Islamic history, we have far more details of the Medina in Iraq compared to the macula, especially of the individual lives of people. Furthermore, with the other wives of Rasulullah, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, most

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of them outlived him. So with Ayesha masala they in the region, their own life stories, right we have many generations righteous is that the province of them came to me and to see what happened when Miss Allah says, The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And this is what happened two days later, the stories to the students who passed it on to their students. And that's how it reached us. For the journey, learn how to not have this opportunity shouldn't have students should outlive Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, she passed away the early years, and the early years of Islam, the history does not have that much details. So we don't have a lot of details about the job.

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But what's amazing is the few stories that we actually have, and so deep, you can actually talk about it for hours, because there's just so many lessons that we can take from our life. So today is not about the stories today is about the lessons, lessons in righteousness, lessons in marriage and love. This is in parenting, lessons in sacrifice. These are the things we learn from each other and Yolanda. There's no secret that her values to the law. So it's almost a love story. And we even have machines about it. It's a very, very powerful story that showed the human side of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam the love for his wife and her love for him. And so we're going to start the story

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inshallah, way back before Islam right long before Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam became the Prophet.

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They live in pre Islamic Arabia, a woman by the name of Khadija.

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Khadija, to understand who she was, number one, she was beautiful. Number two, she came from the best of of knowledge of the best of tribes. She was the daughter of a chief of one of the poorest tribes. So she was in a sense, a type of loyalty, because he maka being of good lineage was everything. Right? So she has a beautiful childhood lineage. She was a successful businesswoman.

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So she was wealthy.

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And more important in all of that, Khadija has a nickname, which made her very famous and made a really for African American community. The nickname the lack of, of a deja vu

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was a pohela. Which means the chase woman,

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the chase one.

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at this point, I just wanted to mention that many of us have a wrong understanding of the market, the pre the pre Islamic Makkah, unfortunately, the way we've been taught the history is we think of pre Salamanca is the worst place to ever exist, right? We think of it as only evil people and doing the worst of things. And, you know, we think we over exaggerated just how bad Greece was. Because the reality is,

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we have a successful single businesswoman who is famous for being chased and killed. People actually like for this is what people love about the fact that she's chasing that she has a woman's right, and she wasn't the only one. Right? For example, Hint, Hint was was known as the enemy of Islam, the woman who chewed the level of the prophets of Allah Hamza, when she finally converted to Islam, and she had to take a pledge of allegiance.

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She was in shock. And she asked,

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Who would actually come and Xena meaning she was at one point, we looked at the evil person, even she never thought of committing sin up to her it was like something dishonorable, which means amongst the higher class woman of Makkah, daily Godzilla, something evil before Islam, and then we got the chance to do something praiseworthy. Right? In peace loving Makkah, we have people like Wanaka, even as even in the field who worship Allah told people not to worship idols.

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They lived in the society they did not worship the idols, the righteous people. So pre Islamic Makkah was a mixed society. There was good and they went bad. Yesterday was the bad for example, the bidding of daughters alive wasn't every doctor it was certain people were doing this. It wasn't everybody, but they weren't this practice was there. Even those people who mistreated the wives

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The widows people who inherited the father's ex wives and the father passed away. It was racism. There was tribalism, there was capitalism. All of this was the the society that's for sure these evils were there, but they was good as well. And part of the good that existed in the pre modern society was a righteous businesswoman who was known by the title of the chief. And so for the job was sought after. And she married a man called Abu Hala. And she had two sons from him, Hindi and Hala. And that's why for deja

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Khadija is known as

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Bhumi Hill, right? This is her

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first child she ever had. So, Khadija chemin they had two children in their high level Abood boys, right. It was confusing because the names Indian Allah, they actually applied to girls and boys agriculture. So we spoke this number, the Hindi was an ad. This is a highlight Hinduism. And likewise, Khadija son's name was Hala. her sister's name was also Allah. So these names are actually used amongst men and woman. Now, her husband passed away giving her a widow two children

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after she married another man by the name of it, and this always differ on whether

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they ended up in divorce, or whether she ended up widow either way, she ended up single again. So this is a young woman who has been through two marriages. And now she's a single mother, working to support children alone. ibaka actually do a good job of it to

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Khadija rhodiola, she's now living this life of a single mother. And she's trying to get her business to run well, but she has one problem. The problem that she has to deal with, is that most of the men in her community with this honest and so whenever she would hire a man to work for her, he would cheat her in the business. Right. So what will happen was back then, like one of the main businesses back then was, it was like an export import type of thing. Whatever was produced in Makkah, somebody would take it to Syria and sell it to the people there. And things which we, which we produce exclusively in Serbia, people would take it to market and sell it there. So a DJ needed a

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man to do this for her. She needs to hire a man an agent or representative to do this for her. And what happened was when she hired a man to take care of this daily and illiterate community, right, he couldn't read or write she couldn't read or write dementia, couldn't read or write didn't have accounting books didn't have Ledger's didn't have any accounts of what was sold and the prices and the you know, the profit made so they will pocket the money and give a smaller profit. They will cheater in the business. And this was hurting her profits very badly. And so for deja Rajaratnam, she was looking for a trustworthy business partner. No, she's not looking to get married. She's

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looking for someone who she can trust in her business. And this is when she hears about a man who has the nickname

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The trustworthy,

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right? So

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she decided to be trustworthy, who is that? Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam but this is before Islam This is 15 years before you

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understand that. This is Baka without the Quran, maka, Muslims maka without the Prophet maka with most of the people that worshipping idols, this is the context and stories taking place in. So when we see how great the job was, it's very impressive because most of our life was in this environment to hold your highest Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to do business for her and sends him off to Cydia on an expedition. At this time, Russia was a young man at the age of 25. He's looking for a job. Remember, Rasulullah was a was an orphan. And he was raised by his uncle Abu Dali, who also didn't have a lot of money. And also laughs and a lovely son needed at this age should be earning

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well. So to find a good job in Africa, which was a society full of

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corruption, a lot of horrible things being sold. So for him to find a good job in a society was difficult. So now when the opportunity came along, he took it and Rasulullah sallallahu took this job to work on the job. So he goes off on a business expedition for her to Syria. But for the Jetsons, along with him, has sleeves made for now these are his job was to make sure that whoever has the highest as an agent doesn't cheat. Right? He watches them watch it every move, watch every business deal and reports back to him. Now he's used to dealing with cheats. This is how the guys got caught out. And he's used to dealing with scumbags Hill

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People who just have no morals. So when he goes on a journey with Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he is completely blown away.

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Never in his life did he see this level of integrity and trustworthiness in business. Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam did not cheat on it, God bless you single center. He was the most

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meticulous of businessmen when it came to being trustworthy and fulfilling his or her rights upon him and feel all these other things. According to some studies, a few medical took place in his journey as well. But also, he was the only businessman who refused to sell anything in the name of latos.

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Law is the people that Makkah worship from a

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marketing guy through opinions by the names of the market Gods

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Rasulullah saw his entire life never worshipped an idol. Of course he is the Prophet was protected from ideology from the time they were born.

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So Ibrahim al Islam grew up in the house of the idol maker, and he never worship idols, Allah predicted his art from it. Rasulullah saw some grew up in a city full of idol worshipers, he never worship an idol, Allah protected his heart from it, right? The the fitrah, the natural inclination towards right along with any strong. So

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Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam comes back to Makkah, with a lot of money, huge profits, the kind that Alicia never saw, she was absolutely amazed because remember, all the other guys may have done good business, but they kept the lock on himself. So she had no idea just how much money how much potential money a job could make. So when Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam comes back, and she sees this large amount of money. She's blown away

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by the report of Mesa, because Mesa talking about how amazing this young man Mohammed is.

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He goes on and on about the quality, the good qualities of the Prophet Muhammad traveling together. And you take a lesson from this, if you really want to know someone's personality, traveled with him.

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Correct. He used to say that, if you want to know someone do two things, either travel with him or look with them. In you see the real person. It's easy to be a nice guy in public, it's easy to be a nice guy in your business. When someone's traveling, they get a lot of stress, they get angry quickly, and you get to see the real personality. So these two are traveling together on a long journey going to Makkah to Syria, but it wasn't a one day flight. Right. It was days upon days of sleeping in the desert, and going from one place to another. It was a long journey. And so the seas amazing character and amazing things throughout his long journey. And he repeated reports all of it.

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And she is absolutely amazed by what she has. And she begins to feel when she begins to develop feelings for Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam and wants to marry him.

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So what happens next? Again, the story is exaggerated, but many of us many of us think that what happened next was Khadija walked up to Rasulullah sallallahu proposed a I this is the

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divergent view. And she proposed to him.

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Actually, what happened?

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She wasn't the kind of coach especially a business partner, it's awkward

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to walk up to your business partner and ask for marriage. So what does a leader actually do? She spoke to her friend.

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And she told her friend

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about this idea in a way that she's thinking about melody, Mohamed Salah, you said this before he was a prophet, right? And she she confides in the person. And so what Nafisa does is she goes to Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and she asked Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam a few questions. So she walks up to him, and she tells him you know, you're a young man, when you're going to get married. Right? So this is what we call today testing the waters right? You know your friends interest in the value this guy and you got to evaluate her so what she does to test the waters he comes up and she asks,

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What were you gonna give me and he says, You know, I can't afford you give me I can't give me now. I'm living Laval. Cool. I don't have a steady job. I have a steady income yet.

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Again, support the wife. So Nafisa tells you but what about if you marry someone he doesn't need you to

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know? And

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she's talking about it. She said, Oh, Khadija, what do you think of Khadija right again? What do you think of

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Rasulullah replies.

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He says why would you want to marry me?

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No this this is humility, the humility of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam.

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He doesn't think much of himself. He's thinking highly of this is a poor he'll chase righteous woman. This is a successful businesswoman. This is some of the highest image. This is someone who is wealthy, he's a poor orphan younger than her. Why in the world would you want to marry him? You know, I mean, she has options for any money market wants to who she proposes to the American public.

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Right? So Why him? Now when she when he said, Why would she want to marry me? This indicates that he didn't mind I think, because if he didn't want to do either, just in St. Louis, nope, not my type.

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Right, he will say something or the other to indicate that he's not interested. So the visa realizes that Rasulullah Sufism is also open to the idea of medical teacher. And so she works as the middle person. And she gets the two of them. You know, she conveys collegiate proposal to Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, and then the guy is performed in the house of Odisha. The guy is performed by the uncles of

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Hamza and Abbas, and they are married, or family law, and they begin to live together.

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Now, there are so many lessons that we can take just from this one incident. And then let's break down this incident and think about it.

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What deja vu Lhasa when he was alone, they did not go into this business partner self looking for someone to get married.

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Right? She wasn't looking for someone to marry. He wasn't looking for someone to marry. What was what was he looking for? She was looking for a trustworthy business partner, he was looking for a job. Right? That's it. So what led to the marriage? What led to the marriage was that Khadija lived her life in such a way that she was a woman that men wanted to marry. And Rasulullah sallallahu lived his life in such a way that he was a man that woman wanted to man. And so you live your life in a way that people want to marry you then inshallah the right person, Allah will send him into your life when the time is right. So we'll do the same nowadays, that

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instead of looking for the right person, first try to be the right answer. Because if you are the right person, you are also the right person to do that. So what qualities do they have the medium to good for each other? Let's look at in terms of the nissaki bleadon Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam told us four things that men look for in a wife and two things that a woman should look for in a husband. He said, men look for one of four things in a wife, either beauty, wealth, a good lineage, or hygiene.

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Right one of these one, he said we should give preference to hygiene. We do this for you, Judy Khadija had

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she was from the highest tribe of Kurdish village. She was extremely beautiful. She was a wealthy businesswoman. And she was very pious. She had also, right she was the IDPs of that time. That's why everybody wants to demand you. Now, some stuff out of our control, right? Things like well, to the niche, these are out of our control, the one thing that's actually in your control is your priority. And that's the one thing that Roshan told us to focus on, don't focus on that thing, which is out of the person's control. Right? That's a lot besides that person, you focus on what's within the control, and that is the pipe. What did you see we should look for in a man? He said if a man

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proposes who is who you are happy with his Deen and his character, then you should accept it. So you mentioned two things piety and good character. Now for many years has had this battle. Because say, why did the proposition say Heidi's

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piety and good character isn't good character part of it? The promises of

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righteousness is good character. So why are they mentioned separately?

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What has happened over the past five years, whenever I counsel vulnerable couples, I learned of a pattern that I have seen over many marriages. But in many cases, I have found men who had outwardly deal, but in their homes, they had bad character.

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Talking about men who have the beard every five times a day, they look like the righteous Muslim, right? They may even be happy to look around whatever the case may be, but in the home, they don't know how to treat a woman. You don't know how to treat the children. Some of them are even abusive. And I have dealt with dozens of cases like this. You know, when people were shocked, no, you have this handsome righteous copies of the Quran. And suddenly he gets married and he slapping his wife. Why? Because

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outward piety. You know, it wasn't based on a correct understanding of Islam. This is a major problem in the US. We don't have this correct understanding of Islam within Islam is only about the beard and the sola and the job. Many of us see what we think, you know, a guy with a beard in his brain is pious, pious. There's just two things of Islam. Islam is much bigger. Yes, everyone should be doing this, but it's bigger. It's even more important part of Islam, then, you know, that commonly comes from knowledge, and that is character, the personality how a man treats his wife how a man treats his children, how did he treat his mother? How did he treat his family members? This is

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very, very crucial and important for a woman to consider this before marriage. Why? Because if your husband has bad character, your life becomes a nightmare.

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Right? It's very difficult for him to put up a bad character. Maybe she can put up other phones. But that character, especially one that affects her direct relationship with her husband, or her children's relationship with the father is a major problem. And so Rasulullah told us that a woman should look for two things, righteousness and good character. And then he went on to say the best of you are those who are best your wives, and I am the best to my wives. So that means Rasulullah saw some had these qualities himself. Of course, he was the most righteous of people. And in the hula, hula de, he was upon the highest standard of good character.

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And so rasuna loves a lot of you. So he had the qualities of the kind of man that woman wanted to develop. And Khadija has the qualities of the kind of woman that men want to marry. And so they were just right for each other and love working with each other's lives. Understand that the marriage was rahula. So simple for DJ is not a coincidence, is no coincidence, a lot chose for him.

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Because as you will see, as the story goes on, she was held his backbone, she wasn't put off straight in the most difficult times, a lot chooses our spouses. Now, let's shift and look at another lesson that I want you to look at this from a different angle. We see how things

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are perfect for each other. But for the job has to go to two other managers before that, before she found the value of perfect. So

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I want you to think about this quite often I get this question from sisters who are divorced or widowed. And they see a really stiff arm. And they had two dreams, everything seemed right. And they got married and things went wrong and ended up divorced, what happened. What happened in the last instance, Allah subhanho wa Taala It was his plan for you to go through what you went through to become who you are today. Right? Each of us have some tests that Allah puts us through to build us up to prepare us for something to come in the future. In the case of particular, Ilana going through two marriages, dealing with the death of her husband going through being a widow, this helped to

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make a very mature person, a very responsible and independent person. And this is the type of person that Allah needed her to be so she could be Rasulullah, Salah lessons put the oxygen at ease, because

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she couldn't have been that person. If he hadn't gone through widowhood. She couldn't have been the person if she didn't deal with what she dealt with in the early part of her life. A lot test us to build us understand this really clearly. Nothing in our lives is

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is random. If Allah had to do something difficult and you will come out of it a stronger person, Allah, what did you do to me? So in the face of a deja, she had to go to two marriages before she came to the perfect one, which loves that he passed away. That's the second lesson.

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Don't listen is a big point, which is probably most of the books have fit in a chapter of knowledge where the story is brought up.

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The scholars have used the story as evidence that Islam is equally correct for a woman to pursue marriage with a man. Right? Again, culturally, men propose to islamically both ways. Okay, as long as the correct channel goes up again, many people today think aha deja walked up to Rasulullah saw Mrs. Want to get married, right? doesn't go like that. She went why a third person. Right she went through the process. Show this is this is the method we can say that if a woman wants to marry a man, the best way to we have the perfect woman perfectly man was to go through someone else is not to see the other way is not possible. It is possible. But we know in Medina, a woman Walk walk up to

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the machine, as you know, to the Mountain View. And it also says God anyway. And he told somebody else, anybody else want to marry her. And she got married to somebody else in the last year. Right. So it's possible

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Right. It's it's what happens in many societies. And I've seen this with people who literally waited until they were 40. for someone to come and propose, even though they knew they were somebody who they wanted to marry, but because it would be breaking tradition, because it would weaken culture, they never approach a man and a man he would do the woman was interested

00:30:21--> 00:30:46

in ever happened. So Islam says equal opportunities. Right. So that's another lesson that the scholars take from this narration. Another lesson you can take from this narration is that it's permissible to have a middleman. And in fact, nowadays is actually something quite good. Very often nowadays, when somebody wants to approach somebody else or marriage, it tends to be awkward. Right? How do you bring it awkwardness? How do you bring your eyes followed as soon

00:30:50--> 00:31:21

as somebody else will go in and ask on your behalf and get the feedback from that person. So this is exactly what Khadija did to be the type of person she chose. Khadija, she didn't choose anybody to go and speak to rasulillah. For him, she chose her friend visa, and the visa went and did a good job. Now, what does she think about this? Nowadays, I have seen so many times, we will a sister confided in her friend that she wants to marry a certain man. Either her friend got jealous, or a friend tried to bring it up, or a friend stole it.

00:31:23--> 00:31:34

Right? Because we don't have the real friendship. The real friendship we use love for your sister what you love for yourself. I've seen this happening. And this is the sad reality where

00:31:35--> 00:31:38

we don't understand what it means to be a friend. Nafisa was

00:31:40--> 00:32:13

when she learned that Khadija wanted to marry Rasulullah saw some she made sure she made it happen, right? She did whatever she could to bring guys interested to let her know and to make it happen. Francis is listening to take from me what is a real friendship, real friendship is loving for your brothers and sisters, what you love for yourself. Right? Not to allow yourself to become jealous of them, not to allow yourself to, you know, for example, you know, when you think Oh, she wants it, that means you must be something really good to myself. That's not how a Muslim thinks a Muslim is willing to make the sacrifices for the offense.

00:32:16--> 00:32:29

So these are some of the lessons we can take from the story. And the other ones as well, which just slipped my mind at the moment to get back to the open data. I want to mention one more point of this specific story. And that is the age of furniture However, for the job.

00:32:33--> 00:32:34

Everyone says 40

00:32:35--> 00:32:42

that is the common opinion amongst English speaking Muslims. When you read the classical Arabic books, it's not so clear.

00:32:44--> 00:32:46

Remember, they didn't have Gods

00:32:47--> 00:33:02

they didn't have density because when Rasulullah sallallahu Nisa was ready for the job. He wasn't somebody did see a recording the agents, right? First of all, nobody knew that this couple Getting married is going to be the Prophet of Allah and his wife,

00:33:03--> 00:33:32

from the people who attended in Mecca. So no one making a point to record the ages. Right. So there is a dispute amongst historians about how old Khadija is. The first opinion I think they got translated into English was the age of 40. So that became the common opinion. And this opinion is positive attending relations in many history books. I found another opinion of the Divine. But I found another opinion, from authentic narrations, including one from Abdullah Ibn Abbas which stage he was 28.

00:33:34--> 00:33:35


00:33:37--> 00:33:39

I thought about it for a while. And honestly,

00:33:41--> 00:33:44

Khadija being 28 actually makes a lot more sense.

00:33:45--> 00:33:48

Let me give you all the reasons why this is probably things we never thought about before.

00:33:50--> 00:34:00

Firstly, many historians saying and these are the most authentic historical records that she was in her 50s in the early 50s. When she passed away.

00:34:01--> 00:34:03

She passed away about 25 years after she got

00:34:05--> 00:34:17

to do the maths if she was 40. How could she be in the 40s? Right? that's point number one. So she must have been in the 20s or early 30s to early 40s. When she passed away when

00:34:18--> 00:34:22

she and Rasulullah had to get a six to eight children.

00:34:23--> 00:34:25

Think about the biological,

00:34:26--> 00:34:30

a woman in her 40s generally, he would have six or eight children.

00:34:32--> 00:34:57

A woman has gotten in the 20s and early 30s. Right? What do you what is the most one or two children that come along to the fact that she had eight, six or eight children. So they historically in the spirit of this 60s, what we knew for sure, there may be others who passed away at the young age we don't know about. That's the confusion. But the fact that she had that many children in her 25 years of marriage with Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam, including Fatima who was about

00:34:58--> 00:34:59

nine years old and the mother passed away.

00:35:01--> 00:35:02

She can't have been alone.

00:35:03--> 00:35:09

I because if I was that young when Khadija passed away, and we go with the age of 40, when she got married

00:35:10--> 00:35:54

when she was in the 50s, even 60s, early 60s. So biologically that age, we could say it's a miracle. If you go with the age of 14, it is possible to be a medical because he brought him Elisa, Islam had children in the old age and America. We don't know of it as America we know of it as just normal births. So many historians see that the fact that she had that many children indicates that she was much younger. Right? That's the next point. The third point is that 15 years after she got married, when Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was climbing, or was was staying in the cave of hero, she would climb the mountain to go to the cave to check on him.

00:35:55--> 00:35:57

I don't know if anybody here has climbed Mount hero.

00:35:58--> 00:36:10

I haven't done to myself, but from what I've heard from people who have done so, they see that today to climb Mount Hera with the stairs that have been erected. That staircase takes two hours to climb.

00:36:11--> 00:36:16

Back then there was no staircase, it was a woman literally climbing a mountain by herself alone.

00:36:17--> 00:36:46

The idea of a 40 year old woman climbing a mountain by herself alone is much more plausible than a woman in her late 50s. Right. So again, it could be possible. But taking all of this into account, many historians actually say she was 28 and not 14. Right. So these are two opinions, which exists in the history books. Some historians say 40 something 28. In my view, 28 is much more plausible, because of these reasons. Does it change the story in any way?

00:36:47--> 00:36:52

because technically, really, she was 28 or 40. She's still old in Russia.

00:36:53--> 00:37:17

She's still more financially successful and wealthy than him. She's still a widow, with children from a previous marriage, all those factors that made the marriage extraordinary and amazing. You know, I still think she's now she's just an hour, she's three years older than him rather than 15 years old. But either way, she he values his first wife or the woman who was older than him and previously married. And,

00:37:18--> 00:38:02

again, we can take so much lessons just from that point alone. In Islam, when choosing a spouse, you don't look at things like whether she was previously married or not. That's not the most important thing, in some ways recommend young men to marry young woman. Right. But it's not a necessity, especially if someone is righteous. his age is not important. Who's younger, who Lola ratusan had wives were younger than he had wives. He didn't eat wasn't a factor. What was the factor was the righteousness, right. And the fact that his first wife for the job was older than him and previously married, and that they he did not match any other woman in his 25 years with him. This actually

00:38:02--> 00:38:07

refutes one of the claims that the enemies of Islam make about him. The enemies of Islam

00:38:10--> 00:38:17

did take advantage of the who loves the law, he's up to about 11 wives altogether, and see that he was hyper sexual. Now,

00:38:18--> 00:39:06

right now, firstly, as Muslims, for men to be like that, with his wife, perfectly permissible, we don't really got his issue. But just to answer the question, because the reality show, we would say, if this was the case, when he was a young man, imagine a woman older than him, who was previously married. And he lived with her for 25 years out Anybody else? Only when he was an old man in his 50s and 60s, then he became polygamous into multiple wives. This doesn't sound like the mindset of somebody that they're describing. Right? It doesn't make sense. He was as DC, then with a young age, right? If he was asked a woman when he was married to a DJ, what is the condition to college? What

00:39:06--> 00:39:12

did he drive? They told you if you want, if you are a woman, we'll give you the best woman.

00:39:15--> 00:39:40

Money we give you all the money locker, property make you rich. We want to be Kingdom nation, the team of haka, just stop claiming to be a prophet. He didn't want any of these innovators with evidence that he was a true prophet. Because any human being who has ulterior motive, you will be brought up with that. So he managed to do it also proof of it. Right and if you watch the screen of the enemies of Islam, so

00:39:41--> 00:39:42

she was

00:39:43--> 00:39:59

awesome. She got married to him, and hamdulillah they lived together for 25 years, but we do not have that much details of the 25 years of marriage because it was mostly 15 years. 15 years of it were before Islam and the remainder

00:40:00--> 00:40:09

wasn't exactly clear if it was between 20 to 25 years, but the remainder of the medical life was in the early backup period when we had no historians and scholars, right. So

00:40:11--> 00:40:16

we don't have that much details, but the details we have are extraordinary. Firstly,

00:40:18--> 00:40:22

let's just think of a DJ as a model. How many children was a DJ?

00:40:24--> 00:41:01

Again, many of us never think of it this way. We know for DJ from Rasulullah Sala Islam, she had six children living alone. The first was the son posse. And that's really the purpose of the lesson gets his name abou quasi right, and cause he passed away at a young age and we don't do anything about him. He was the son of doula also passed away in the army. In fact, throughout history, it was normal for children to pass away the young age Alhamdulillah. Allah has given us the chance to live in a time when it's not possible. Because we live in a time where a lot of medical care, a lot of healthy foods and science and all these things, and, you know, all these things that help us to make

00:41:01--> 00:41:20

sure our children grow up well, back then it was normal for a child to possibly young. So hamdulillah for that, back then it was normal. That's why some scholars say they had four sons and all four sons passed away the young age along those myths, but too, we know for sure, awesome and abdulah they had four daughters together, right? So they know Brooke,

00:41:22--> 00:41:23

so six children.

00:41:25--> 00:41:29

But if you think about it carefully, they didn't just raise six children.

00:41:30--> 00:41:43

Khadija had the children from a previous marriage holla at him, and these two also accepted Islam he became Sahaba. One of them even became mushahid Amato and the other children growing up in the house as well.

00:41:44--> 00:41:48

Can anybody think about who else was reasonable for the job?

00:41:52--> 00:42:01

Raja Lovato. Ali Raja was raised by Rasulullah. Sloman Khadija, like the own Son, why Rasulullah sallallahu was raised by

00:42:06--> 00:42:07

his father.

00:42:09--> 00:42:28

Is Elise father. He read Rasulullah saw like his own son. And Tony had a lot of science, and he couldn't take care of them himself financially because he wasn't on each man. So some of them grew up in the houses of his brother's alley, grew up in the house of his nephew of Rasulullah saw this was

00:42:29--> 00:43:03

a way of giving back to otological taking care of him as often, right? You took me I take care of yourself. So Ali grew up in the house of Rasulullah Islam, like a son to Khadija and Rasulullah Sandra Khadija was like his mother, right? And this is why he became the first young boy to accept Islam. He was seven or eight years old in the house, and he accepted Islam. So this is another child growing up in the house is another child growing up in the house as well. Anybody can go who is one more child growing up in the house of Rasulullah. Khadija, let me give you an he chose them over his biological father.

00:43:06--> 00:43:08

Anyone know what I'm talking about?

00:43:09--> 00:43:24

The even harissa, the only Sahabi mentioned by name in the Quran, surah Allah, you won't find the name of any Sahaba in the Quran, except you to rattle izombie we'll find the word seed referring to him the different alika who has

00:43:25--> 00:43:29

these even harissa? So very important story. So this is going to

00:43:31--> 00:43:33

teach us something about the general formula

00:43:35--> 00:43:42

was from Northern Arabia, as a small boy, he was kidnapped and sold into slavery.

00:43:43--> 00:44:26

And his father's been many years looking for him and wanting to get back. They were sold into slavery. And after years of being passed around from one person to the other colleges uncle gave z to her deja vu, as a gift. so nosy as a small child. Imagine being a small child taken into captivity slowly as a slave. And now you're growing up in a stranger's house. He became very close to Rasulullah Somalis. And the bikini developed a very strong bond and friendship. So what deja gave as a gift to Rasulullah sallallahu. So remember, the back end slavery was another Bible Society until a few 100 years ago actually, right? So he gave the gift to Rasulullah and Rasulullah

00:44:27--> 00:44:53

sallallahu Sallam freezy and lead on adopted him as a son. Right. So I will get you out a bit more. But what happens now is Zaid grows up in the house as the adopted son and in fact, for much of their history, he was known as Zaid, even Mohammed. This was his name back and people called him the evil Muhammad until the Antilles Medina over 10 years later, the worst was the village.

00:44:54--> 00:44:54


00:44:56--> 00:44:57

call them by their father's name

00:44:58--> 00:44:59

and that's when we start calling

00:45:00--> 00:45:33

But hardly sighted, meaning in Islamic etiquettes. If you adopt somebody else's child into your house, you cannot give them your study. They have to keep their biological father sunny. Why? Because it is, in a way a lie to say that you are the son of Muhammad, and you're actually the son of arisa. You're not his son, you grew up in his house, by logic, You're the son of somebody else. So Islam says, yes, you can adoption. And many of us must understand that these two things, you're not allowed to adopt a child at all. No, you're allowed to bring children into your house often should or whatever the case may be, you're allowed to reasonable your own children. But at the same

00:45:33--> 00:46:00

time, if they're not your mom that has come into play when you grow up, and at the same time, the country you're serving, right, today, actually, at this point in time, he's growing up in rural villages house, like your own son. Now we have one story that shows what amazing parents they were, and how much he loved. This story indicates where the story states that eventually, the father learns that he won't be

00:46:02--> 00:46:12

some of his childhood will recognize him and his father. His father comes from Africa with the uncles, they both come to Makkah with a lot of money, and come to the house

00:46:13--> 00:46:26

sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and they explain who they are. And they say that your slaves eat is actually my son, he was taken from my home, I brought all this money, please take it and give us back our son

00:46:27--> 00:46:28


00:46:29--> 00:46:43

tells them your son is out of state. He's a free man. We freed him. And he's like our children. What about children? Now? He always grew up in a household. What about children? So let him choose the young man that includes for himself, right? And so

00:46:45--> 00:47:00

the demon harissa he's brought he beats his father, so happy, you know, imagine being a child be dropped away from your father, and meeting him after so many years, the emotion that he and his father feel for each other. And his father says it's time to go home. As it says, No,

00:47:01--> 00:47:14

I will never choose anybody over these people. I will not choose my turn out he chose to live with Rasulullah Khadija as their adopted son over living with his own biological parents.

00:47:16--> 00:47:30

Think about this, how well didn't Rasulullah Khadija 3d how much love they treat him with how much care and mercy the treaty was? For him to choose them over his own biological parents, we were swept away from many years ago.

00:47:32--> 00:47:34

Can you imagine your child treating somebody else have you

00:47:35--> 00:47:52

seen or rather have you been my father did you know this was the level of love rose and cheated he went? So for this story we see that Khadija and Rasulullah saw, they were amazing parents, they were so amazing parents that other people's children chose to live with them over the parents.

00:47:54--> 00:48:18

And so Khadija is we don't have details of how she raised the children. But the fact that in her household, the likes of the demon arisa leaving a party we're all growing up under her under her care under her, you know, nurturing shoes that she was an amazing mother. And I wanted to take another lesson from this story, the importance of raising children with love.

00:48:19--> 00:48:20

This is a forgotten

00:48:21--> 00:48:31

night, children with the do your own or somebody else's, must be treated with love and mercy. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi salam stated that

00:48:33--> 00:49:04

he stated that he is not a true believer who does not who is not respectful to his elders and merciful to those younger than him. Many people quote the first half of the Hadees that you know the true believer and is respectful to elders. What about the second half and merciful to those younger than you? Right? What happens many youngsters today? They are terrified of manual beards. They literally see teary eyes. When they see a man with a beard, we will immediately get shouted out they're going to get hit, or they will be told something.

00:49:06--> 00:49:17

There's a Yoni relationship they have with him. Well, Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam himself had a beard, right? And children loved him more than the parents. Right? That allowed them to shoot for children.

00:49:18--> 00:49:20

It created the love for Islam.

00:49:21--> 00:49:51

Think about it if you want children to love Islam, get them to love you first because today you represent Islam. Understand this. You represent your religion to children, not just your any child who adapted if a child interaction adult with a Muslim, and these adults are abusive and violent, that child grows up distant from Islam. If a child is the actual adults who are loving and caring and nurturing the childhoods of loving Islam, this is a big difference between our community and the Korean community of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam

00:49:53--> 00:49:59

Delta children. We have children like Abdullah even above Malik becoming scholars of Islam

00:50:00--> 00:50:07

Because of how much they love the Rasulullah and how well he treated him, he will take them with him, he will play with him, he will never shout him. No, he had this relationship with him.

00:50:10--> 00:50:53

Even harissa growing into great leaders and warriors, because of the love for food lasala Islam because of the love, he showed to them, the love He showed you them, it wasn't a z Z's children as well. Eventually, they grew up, he became a father, he has a son into sama sama, his mother was an African, his father was a freed slave. He was, you know, what our society people call a black guy, he was an African, right, he was the upstream. And so some people actually are, you know, they held this against him. Some people actually you could argue this, but you know, Rasulullah Islam, at that point in time, you had your own graduate and as well as person and Hussein. And he would put us in a

00:50:53--> 00:51:08

one lab, one of his labs and you put some on your lap. And you will see that these are my children. these are these are the people of my house. One is the son of his biological daughter, or he the son of his adopted son, he didn't treat him any differently.

00:51:09--> 00:51:48

He treated Zane, like his own son, he treated as children like your grandchildren. Right? This is a very important point. I have met in my life, Muslims who have become atheists, Muslims who have left the fold of Islam. And when I counseled them and speak to them, I it always goes back to when they were young, some Muslim men beat them up with a stick to teach them hips, or whack them in a masculine, cheesy, Montezuma street or whatever the case may be. And that's really the first step to getting distance from Islam. And once somebody starts getting distance from Islam, she can grab them and push them further and further and further away. Until the out of the photo together. If we want

00:51:48--> 00:52:24

children, the next generation to grow up loving Islam, to grow up as strong Muslims, we have to revive the sooner of treating children with love and mercy in the masjid, in the madrasahs. In the schools in our homes, whether it's our children or somebody else's, it doesn't matter. All children should be raised with love and mercy. This is the sooner This is the way of Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam, one of the Sahaba narrated that the children when they would see Rasulullah slysoft. First is via but Scandinavia, but ostracon, respectful prophet of Allah coming, as soon as he would spend time with him, they were for the love of because

00:52:26--> 00:53:06

it wasn't just nicely used to play with it, you will chase them, you will play with them with it with things you talk to them what the toys is the showdown is calling rascals, he actually had a fun relationship with children. He didn't regard it as below his dignity as a prophet of Allah to be fun around children to be cooler around young people. Right? So this needs to be revised. If you want to see another generation, who love Islam, the way that generation and so Khadija Rasulullah saw some together, he raised children, who grew up loving Islam, and they grew up loving Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, and they grew up to be the leaders of the founding team, one of the woman who

00:53:06--> 00:53:14

perfected his mind, from the empty the force of Islam from the empty the martyrs even harder,

00:53:15--> 00:53:38

right? These are not children who became Who do you mean, I got to give you a raise in a very special way. And that is how they became who they are. So let us follow the example and do this as well. So we said that there's not that much stories about Khadija. And one hour either we haven't even gotten to the history of Islam yet.

00:53:39--> 00:54:06

We haven't even gotten to the point where who becomes a prophet yet. So that story itself will take us a while because there's so much lessons from it. inshallah next week, inshallah, we want to rush through the story of an Egypt is just too many lessons to extract from the story. There's just too much, so much of it. It's so relevant to our current lives. So I feel it will only be just over two weeks. Next week, we'll have part two, on the life of deja vu,

00:54:07--> 00:54:10

where we will look at the story of the person revelation.

00:54:11--> 00:54:27

Because he played a very important role in your story. What did she do? You look at her life during Islam, how she supported Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, and we look at her debt. And we look at after her debt, all the durations of how much you

00:54:28--> 00:54:29

still have not what is

00:54:30--> 00:54:53

that even 10 years after she died, he still couldn't stop talking about them. Absolutely amazing, the level of love they had for each other. So with that, we come to the end of the first part of the Labor Party geology aloha inshallah we will cover the next recipe next week. Disaster federal offers are wider I didn't have to do that. It'll be alameen wa salam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh