Compassion with youth and respecting elders
Channel: Ismail Kamdar
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This is narrated by Abdullah even I'm a regular one man, that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Whoever does not show compassion to the youth, and recognize the rights of the elders is not one of us. This hadith is narrated in the Muslim of mama bird, and it is graded sahih authentic by the scholars of Hadith. So today, Inshallah, I want to give a brief discussion and explanation of this honeys, because what this hadith gives us is, the two sides of a cohesive social community, the compassion for the youth and the respect for the elders, these two things go hand in hand, for any community to run well, in general with the problems in the community, it boils down to
one of two things, right? It boils down to either the youth feel that they are not, you know, they've been treated too harshly, or the board is not being, you know, treated as adults, they feel like, you know, they've been given
a very high level of piety need to live up to, and you know, life tends to be difficult for the youth in some cases. In other cases, it's the elders who feel disrespected is the elders who feel like the youth, don't talk to them, well, they don't respect them, they don't fulfill the rights. And in modern society, it's both. In modern society, there is a strong movement, to disrespect elders, you know, with a focus and highly on yourself, that all that matters is myself and my rights and my voice and my ideas. And the entire idea of respecting elders is alien to this modern culture. At the same time, in response to this, we also have more harshness towards the youth. So what's
wrong with harshness towards the EU, let's start with that Inshallah, we're going to do is, the first football will focus on the first half of the Hadith, which is
the importance of showing compassion towards the youth. And the second footpath will focus on the second half of the Hadith, which is the importance of recognizing the rights of our elders. So compassion towards the youth, what does this mean? And what what happens when you don't do this? Recently, we run a few surveys on young Muslims as to why they stopped practicing Islam, or why they stopped going to the masjid or why they stopped attending Islamic lectures. And the most common trait we found is that they were they had a negative experience, right? This is the most common trend without notice Africa in the entire world. Right. So this is a survey that went out to
youngsters in the USA, in the UK, in the Arab countries and South Africa and in many other countries. And we found a very common trait, that very often when a young person was treated harshly in the masjid, that became their view of the masjid they became the view of religious people, and this push them away from the religion. So for example, a youngster may go to the masjid. And he may not be aware of the dress code for that masjid, for example, or the etiquette of that Masjid. Or maybe it's a young lady who, you know, she's still struggling with a job, she's not aware yet of what is proper job. And someone was rude to them, somebody was harsh to them, somebody, you know,
publicly humiliated them because of a sin or a mistake or a, something you did not understand. And because of that, they get put off coming to the masjid. And they end up drifting away from the religion. This is a very common trend bound throughout the Muslim world today, the when people are harsh towards the youngsters, it chases them away from the religion alienates them from the religion. Right. So this hadith about the importance of being compassionate towards the youth, it is very important that everyone practices and where does this this advice come from? Psychologically? Those of us who are older need to understand something about young people. And this is something we
tend to forget. Young people are still growing, they are still developing the ideas, they are still making mistakes, they're still gaining life experience, they're going to slip up, they're going to make mistakes, they're going to get things wrong. And when we expect perfection from them, we make it so much harder for them to learn from the mistakes and to grow. Because we make life unnecessarily difficult for them. And we do this at every level of life. Right? So for example, when it comes to religion, many of us expect teenagers to be more pious than the older. I let this let's be frank about
Does many parents expect the teenage children to be at the Olia level of piety? Every day, they don't see that from the children, you know, they, they have this anger and hatred towards the children. And we see also with school, right, there's some of us expect perfect ease every time for every subject. And the kids can live up to these expectations. And we know what happens in our community when the kids can't live up to these expectations. So compassion is so important and where compassion comes from, is understanding that someone younger than you does not have the life experience you have, they don't have the wisdom that you have, they are going to make mistakes,
they're going to get things wrong. And that is okay, as long as they are learning from their mistakes, as long as they are growing from their mistakes, as long as they are able to extract lessons from their mistakes and gain wisdom through making those mistakes. Or when we close the doors to making any mistakes, then what happens is we lead them no room for improvement. We make him feel like you know you're either perfect or you're out of the fold of Islam, you're either perfect or you're not good enough to be my son. You know, we create this, this level of expectations that's impossible to live up to. Now let's look at Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and how he dealt
with the youth because the way that we're full allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam dealt with the youth. This is the sooner this is the explanation of this hadith. So Rasul Allah, so Allah police have told us that none of you truly believe or you're not one of us unless you are compassionate towards the youth. And his life is full of example, upon example of this compassion towards the youth, whether it was a youngster dealing with the desires, or a youngster making worthy mistakes, we have examples of both. Let's start with an example that we weren't a mistake, right? We have the example of honesty, but Malik urquiola, and
others, even Malik started working for Rasulullah salAllahu alayhi wa sallam, when he was 10 years old. And he worked for him for 10 years. And he said, in those 10 years of working for the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he did not hear the Prophet even once say a bad word to him. Not once, even though he made a lot of mistakes. I mean, from the age of 10 to 20, you're going to make a lot of mistakes, right? So unless even Malik reports at once, when he was like 10, or 11 years old, the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi, wasallam, gave him some money, and told him to go to the marketplace and to buy certain items for the house with that money. Unless even Malik left the house, and he saw
some children his age playing in the streets, and he got caught up and he stopped playing with him. And he forgot about the era, he forgot that he needed to go to the marketplace. In the meanwhile, Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is in his house, he's waiting for others to come back, you know, with the groceries add on, this is not coming. And this is not coming. He started to get worried. He goes outside, and he sees others playing with the other children. And he walks up to others with a smile on his face. He asked him, you know, why would you do groceries? And honestly, I forgot. So he said, Okay, go and buy it now. And this reaches into his pockets, and realizes he lost
the money. So not only did he not buy the groceries, he lost the money. Now, of course, how does the average parent today react if you tell your teenager to go buy the groceries? And they not only forget to buy the groceries, but they lose the money in the process? How would you? How do you Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa Sumeria. He laughed, he laughed, because he understood this is a child children are not going to have the same level of experience and wisdom as adults, they're going to make mistakes he loved he gave us a bit more money and told him to go and buy the groceries. Right. So on is when he bought the groceries, he fulfilled the task. But this became a
memory for him. That when he messed up when he, you know, failed to live up to the expectation of the elders Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam set the example of how to deal with children when you make mistakes. And that example is to have the compassion towards them to understand this is a child, this is someone younger than me, this is a person who's going to make more mistakes than me, this is a person who doesn't have life experience. It's okay let them learn from it. Let them grow from you don't expect them to perform on the same level as someone who is 30 or 40 years old. And we see this even when it comes to dealing with sin when it comes to dealing with desire. So for
example, young people may find it harder to lower their gaze than the elderly person, right? When you're in your 40s or 50s. And your whole life you've been practicing a purification of the soul and learning how to lower your gaze. It's easier for you to do than someone who just hit puberty and he's dealing with those desires for the first time. And even in this we have an example in the Sierra and the life of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam in a fascinating example, where the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam when he was going for Hajj, you were sharing a camel with his cousin for those even above or below And now most of us know about Abdullah even a pass for the law.
Right? Further is the brother of
Abdullah and he's less well known in the Sierra. This is like the one incident he's known for. So further was the brother of Abdullah even Abbas, making him the younger cousin of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Now some people get confused about the age gap. To put things into context. The prophets uncle Abbas was just two years older than him. So all of our buses children, the prophets cousins were like 20 years younger than me. Right? So this is why this is big age gap between Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam and his cousin. So Abdullah and father were teenagers when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam passed away even though they were his cousins. So Rasulullah
sallallahu sallam, he is going for Hajj, and he sharing a camel with fuddle given a bus and while you're riding, a young girl walks up to the practice of law you some to ask him some questions about the nene. Because understand when Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam is going for Hajj. For many people living outside Medina, this is the only time to interact with him and to ask him questions. So this young lady she walks up to the Prophet saw your Salah she's asking him some questions about Islam. And she's a beautiful young girl, probably a teenager, funnily nabasa, handsome young man, also a teenager and they both start looking at each other. So while she's talking to the Prophet saw your
further is looking at this girl in the presence of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa salam again, context. This is in the presence of the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasallam This is in Hajj in the month of hajj, and we have a youngster failing to lower his case. Again, look at how we react when a youngster fields to lower his case. And look at how Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam reacted Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam understood that teenagers are still making mistakes is to getting used to their desires. They're still learning how to lower their gaze. And so he gently guides puddle into the art of lowering the case. He distracts his case he like basically gently
asked whether to look somewhere else like to point something out usually looks in a different direction. And he continued answering this girl's questions about Islam. Notice, he didn't choose the girl away. He didn't tell her how some people do these days you will get knocked out outside you know some people have this kind of attitude. This is not the attitude of Rasulullah Saladino. So instead, he taught the young man to lower his case. Right very important point. But again, he did it with gentleness because as he continued with the conversation again further starts looking at this girl and again he distracts him. The third time the Father looks at this girl Rasulullah sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam tells him that whoever lowers the case, for the sake of Allah will taste the sweetness of Hema. So again, look at the method methodology. This is a young man committing what is a minus in the presence of Rasulullah sallallahu. So why don't Hajj and Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam gently turns his attention somewhere else. And when that doesn't work, he doesn't reprimand him. He doesn't shout him. He doesn't demean him. He doesn't, you know, cast judgment upon him. He simply motivates him to do good. He motivates him by telling him the reward of lowering the case. How many of us do how many of us actually teach our youngsters the reward of learning the
case, the reward of avoiding sinner, the reward of being a righteous person, how many of us teach the youth that if you are righteous in your youth, you'll be under the shade of Allah shown on the last day, instead of being harsh and mean and judgmental towards them, motivate them to be better shown in the rewards of doing good deeds. This is the methodology of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and one last story. Once of Azula sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he was sitting in the masjid. And a young man came running into the masjid very worried. And this young man walks up to Omar, and he comes over Omar, I was in the marketplace selling dates, and I kissed a girl. What can I do? What
should I do? So this young man made a mistake, right? The young man, he gets the girl and Omar and he begins to feel that he committed a sin, which he did. And he wants, you know, to find a way to repent for his son. So he goes to Omar, and who and he tells him, Omar tells him You shouldn't have told me about your sin. You should have kept it to yourself in a mistake. But he wanted advice. He wanted someone to tell you how to make up for yourself. Again, you the attitude of the youth of their time, they want to make up for this sense, they want to do good deeds. So we go to Abu Bakar, Abu Bakar gives him the same advice. He goes to Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam Rasulullah
sallallahu alayhi salam is sitting in the masjid, surrounded by the sahaba. And this young man walks up to him and tells him the story that he was in the marketplace. He was doing business with a lady and he ended up kissing. What can you do to make up for this? So Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam instructs him to pray to rockers of Salah and the verse was revealed. The verse states that for when you commit a sin, you should follow up your sin with a good deed because good deeds reasons. So when this verse was revealed another Sahabi stood up and asked the Prophet salallahu Salam is this verse for him or is if all of us and the prophets Elijah said this verse is for my
Much of the end of time meaning any Muslim until the end of time when you slip up when you make a mistake when you commit a sin What do you do? You make doba you follow it up with a good deed that good deal inshallah erased answer. Now again look at the methodology of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam again nowadays, you know you're a teenager kiss the girl, I mean, it's a sin, right? But the way some of us react, you know, that person will never tell you anything again in their life. You know, they feel like in some ways you make him feel like you're not even a Muslim anymore. Like they've committed you know, such a major sending there's no way back. But as a Muslim parent and a
Muslim teaching who's going to elder This is an important point. Anyone in the community younger than you that slips up you should be the one to show them the path towards Dover. You should should be the one to shoot all the way back to Allah don't be the one that puts them down. Right somebody slips out is telling you Oh, you know the Muslim anymore. You are terrible Muslim. Get out of my sight. Don't come to a masjid no be the one to show them how to make Dawa. Show them how to do to teach. Show them how to lower the gaze. Show them how to avoid that sin in future. Show them the way back to Allah with gentleness and compassion. Do not be the one who chases them away with harshness
and with judgment. Rather understand young people are going to slip up they are going to make mistakes if they slipped up and made mistakes in Medina why Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was alive. What about in the modern world we were surrounded with so much fitna that even people in the 60s and 70s are slipping up. They Allah protect us all from the thickness of our times may guide our youth may allow us to be people of compassion. They allow us to be people that wisdom may allow our communities to be united upon the truth. So behind Robbie is at the embassy food was salam ala mousseline with me.
In Alhamdulillah, Buddha who understand in order to tell Pharaoh we're not going to be here with our colleagues when the old will be like me, Cerulean fusina For me see, Dr. Lena mejor de la Hooper, la mo de la. For me, you deliver the Hadith.
The hadith has two parts. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Whoever does not show compassion towards the youth, and fulfill the rights of the elders is not one of us. Notice this is a two part formula. If someone is younger than you treat them with compassion, because they have less wisdom and experience. And if someone is older than you fulfill their rights, because they have lived longer than you. And that alone entitles them to respect and to good treatment. Now we live in a time where this respect has been completely removed from society. People are taught to disrespect their elders, people are taught that your parents haven't done you any good. People are taught that
Oh, you don't owe your parents anything. And this is from shape bar. This is a Satanic methodology that has been pushed to individualism in the modern world. Islam teaches us that everybody is worthy of compassion and respect, especially, especially those who have played a role in your life. Do not allow yourself to be tempted by this new age mindset that is all about me. When someone makes their life all about themselves. And now this message is for the youngsters. When you make your life all about yourself, you will live a lonely miserable life. Because if you are not respectful to your elders, when you become an elder, the same thing can happen to you. If you are not respectful to
your elders and compassionate to those equal to you and younger than you, you alienate people from Him, you will have no friends, you will have no family support because you focus only on yourself. So why would anybody else focus on you another Hadith about compassion towards the youth. We have a beautiful Hadith where the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was sitting in public, and his grandson walked up to him, and he picked up his grandson and he kissed him. So one of the Bedouin Arabs, you know, in a very mature display, he stood up and he said, I have 10 sons. I've never kissed any of my sons in my life. And the profits allow the some replied, whoever does not show
mercy. Whoever does not show compassion will not be shown compassion, meaning as you treat others, you will be treated. So to those youngsters who think that life's all about me and what I wanted my rights only and I don't owe my elders, anything, I don't own my parents anything understand. As you treat others you will be treated. for society to function properly, we all need each other. Human beings have are interdependent, we need each other. The elders need the energy of the youth, the youth need the wisdom of the elders, we have to work together. When society functions properly. You have the elder passing on his wisdom to a young person who's going to continue the work up to them.
And that young person will be assisting that elder and things that he can't do anymore because of his age. And together they're able to live a happy and good and happy life and be able to make things work. But when it's all about yourself, when it's all about yourself. You will find yourself one day regretting. If you don't respect your parents, if you don't respect your teachers, if you don't respect your elders, one day when they are gone. You are going to persevere and there will be nothing you can do to make up for this
respecting them. Absolutely nothing you can do to make up for this respecting them. Respecting your mother especially is so important. Listen to this narration this narration fascinates me the first time that I heard of it, it just I couldn't understand it. What Abdullah, even Abbas Rajon who was was making Tawaf around the car, and the young man walked up to you more worrying. And he told him, I murdered someone. Literally, I murdered someone. How do I make up for that? So if you live in a bus, it is your mother's life? And you say no, you have to say no, I don't know how you're going to make up for that. Meaning if your mother was alive, when you spend the rest of your life looking
after your mother in old age, maybe that would have made up for murder. The respect of our mother is so high or the rights of a mother is so high in Islam, that taking care of your mother in old age, may actually make up for a major sin.
before an incident, what is the worst thing you can commit? Sure, and the second worst that you can commit murder, right. But even in that case, if someone had committed the second greatest sin, still, if you had able to spend the rest of his life dedicated to serving his mother as an act of of dough, because remember, your act of Dobot, must be equal in proportion to the sin you have committed, right? That Quran said follow up a sin with a good deed, it has to be proportionate. If you committed a minus and a minor good deed makes up for committed a major sin, the good deed you have to do to make up for it has to be on another level. And so in this case, you know, the major
sin of murder, the only thing you could think of to make up for you to spend the rest of one's life taking care of one's mother in college. And so that tells us something else. It helps us to write so much. And that's why Mr. Makuhari included this narration in his book about who Fred in the chapter called the rights of mothers. He didn't include it to talk about the murder aspect of the dove aspect. He brought it up to show how important it is to take care of your mothers. So understand for society to work properly, we all need each other. Those who are young, be humble. understand those who are older than you. They have life experience, they have wisdom, they have things you can
benefit from, spend time with their befriend them, take them as your mentors, develop a good relationship with them. And this will help you to grow into the best version of yourself. Do not be individualistic and egotistical. I think it's all about me and I know what I'm doing you don't you're still young, you're still gonna make mistakes. And those who are older, be compassionate to those who are younger, be merciful, impatient with those who are younger, they're going to make mistakes, they are going to slip up they're going to do things that might drive you crazy, but if you are compassionate towards them and gentle towards them, always showing them the way back to
Allah always showing them the path to doba always showing them how to come back onto the three part when inshallah you can help them grow into the best versions of themselves. At the end of the day, we had Omar and Omar takes care of each other. The elders take care of the youth the youth take care of the elders and together we function properly. Allah Subhana Allah guide us protect us and He make us a community that is united upon the truth so behind Robin easily NYC food masala recently we'll have to do that.