Purification Of The Soul EP 4

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Isam Rajab

Channel: Isam Rajab

Episode Notes

Special course by Yayasan Ta’lim & Arees University. Conducted by Dr Isam Rajab. PURIFICATION OF THE SOUL (session 4)

Episode Transcript

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Smaller hamdu Lillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah

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salam aleikum, wa barakato.

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We are at page seven. That's where we stopped last time.

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We are at the third paragraph from the bottom actually.

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The third paragraph from the bottom of

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the first person to shun the treasures is the one who has experienced his treachery.

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The first person to abhorred the murderer is the one who has been victimized by his perjury. And the first person to degrade an adulterous woman is the one who has committed adultery with her.

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What do we learn from all these things? that

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many people, when they do something wrong when they make a mistake

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to someone else,

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someone asks you to help him for committing a sin. And you do help him or help her.

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You think that this person is a dear friend, or a loyal, but then if something happened to him,

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you will be the first one that he will avoid, and it comes sooner. Why? Because he knows your

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treasures. He knows your sin.

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You did it for him, or you try to help him. But it was a sin. People don't know he knows. So now if it would happen to him, you're not his friend or her friend anymore, you will be the first one that he will try to be away from you.

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That's the example now he gives three different examples.

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The adulterous woman

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in front of people, nobody knows. But the man knows. This is why in Islam, we don't have girlfriends.

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People say What's wrong with it? Why not? Why don't you do it? So Pamela, you find the youth, no matter how disobedient they are.

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When it's time for marriage, they don't choose anyone from the friends that the new girl Why they know what they have been doing. They want someone as they say someone clean or someone that did not do any things. So this is a reminder that when it comes to sins, stay away from everyone. That's why Allah says in the Quran, the prophets of Allah says in the Quran, about the friends, on the day of judgment, they will be enemies to one another. Allah Hillel, Yama, even Baba humblebundle.

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Friends on the Day of Judgment, they are enemies to each other in and with that being the only exception is the righteous, righteous people. Why because their friendship was for the sake of Allah. So don't be happy that you have a secret with someone that someone will be the first one to avoid you. Because he knows what you have done. Other people don't know he knows. So you think you did good thing, he will be the first one to avoid you.

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So that's what it means.

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Next, I have not seen anything that was corrupted and then return to its normal state except by great efforts.

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Usually, if something is broken, you want to put it back. It will be hard. Sometimes you cannot put it back. Sometimes you can but it will be very hard. Let's take an example of the glass. If it was broken, how hard is it to put it back? Can you put it back?

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Almost you cannot car

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there is a dent or there is an accident. Yes, they can put it back but it will be very hard. You have to take it back to the dealership and they will work hard on it. And still some people could tell that there was something here. Imagine if this was happened two, three or four even four times, successively. One time it was broken. Second time it was broken. They tried to fix it. Third time it was broken. They tried to fix it. What will happen then, actually, they say even with physical injuries. If you had your arm fractured then you put the cast and

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Again, they tell you be careful if it is broken again, it cannot be back. So what is the example here? Look at this beautiful example what he's saying?

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What would therefore one think of a brain that is corrupted every night by alcohol? This is beautiful example. You talk to people who drink, you tell them it's Haram, it is

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forbidden, it's a major sin. They will not really think about it, but you give them this example. This is the rational example they will think about it. Allah gave you this brain,

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this unique blessing from Allah that elevated you over all animals. And every day you break that blessing by drinking alcohol.

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How do you think it will be back to normal? It cannot.

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Look also what he says, a mind that entices its owner to ruin it every night is a mind that ought to be indicted.

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This is not the mind of a sane person.

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We need the example of this when we talk to people who are committing sins.

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Because most of them do they know or they don't know that what they are doing is haram.

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They know but they are still doing it. So when you come to them and tell them Be careful. This is haram. They already know. So you need something else something different.

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And that's where you come with this kind of advice. Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when the youth came to him, asking him permission to commit adultery to commit Zina? Did he? Or Didn't he know the punishment of Xena? Did he or didn't he know that it is forbidden? So the prophet SAW Selim did not tell him fear Allah is forbidden instead. What did he tell him? Do you like that this happens to your mother, to your sister to your daughter. And the man said no. So the Prophet Sanam said that's also what people think, or feel they don't like it to happen to them. So the same thing here, somebody that Allah gave him this mind, and he is corrupting it every night. by choice, this

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is a mind that should be accused, this is not the mind of a sane person, this is not a mind that will go back to normal.

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Because you look at things when they are broken, they are very hard to be fixed, if they are fixable.

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Do not reply to what has been conveyed to you by a third party until you verify that it was truly uttered as conveyed?

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This is something many people don't do, unfortunately. And it is very important, because many times it would be too late to salvage the damage.

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Let's say Emraan is my friend.

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Okay.

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Someone didn't like the friendship that we have.

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He came to me and he said he is abusing me verbally. He said bad words about

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what happened. I didn't hear him saying I heard the third party.

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And I was shocked because I thought he's my friend. So I immediately answered back. I said, he is bad. I thought he's a friend. But he's not I should be careful. And now did I or Didn't I say bad words about him? I did. So that man came back to Enron and said look what I am saying about him. So he comes in he says why you are saying this? I tell him because you said so. And so he said no, I didn't

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know now it will be too late to say Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you said that. Even if you thought he didn't say I said

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so the result was what? I was wrong doing nothing. Therefore, every time every time you hear something conveyed to you by a third party, don't

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pass a judgement immediately. You have to verify that is the command from Allah further step by to further by No, because many times, maybe it is not the line. The person was not flying. But he changed the version. He changed the context, or he was fasting. So he added some spices.

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Sometimes this happens, that's not what I said. I said oh, okay, so unfortunately, sometimes this happens, so never ever answer for something that was conveyed to you by a third party until you verify. This is the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam

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A man would come and tell him on messenger of Allah, this and this, and this happened to me.

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He doesn't tell him immediately you are or he tells him if what you are saying is true, if

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because sometimes you cannot verify the person is very fine, very far that person so how can you verify you say, provided that what you're saying is true. I'm not saying you're not telling the truth, but also I cannot verify. So if what you're saying is true, that's the answer.

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That is the answer. So don't pass a judgement. Don't make up your mind based on hearing someone as third party.

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At the time of armor of the alarm, a man came to him crying, complaining, he said, You have to punish. So and so he poked my eye. He said, Where is he? Maybe you bought his both eyes. And that was the case. That was the case actually.

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We then to remember what others are doing to us, we forget what we are doing to others.

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Maybe what we're doing is twice what they are doing. So you'll have to verify on 14 Unfortunately, most people don't do that.

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Although it is the command of Allah is the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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Next page eight.

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If someone shows license towards what Allah has forbidden, do not trust him with anything duty.

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Again, some people you take them as friends, you trust them. But if they were not eligible, with the trust of Allah subhanho wa Taala. How would you trust them with something precious, something expensive? Something dear to you? If they betrayed the trust of Allah azza wa jal? Why would they respect your trust?

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What do you expect from someone that is disobedient to Allah? subhanaw taala?

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The one that gave them everything you say, No, no, he's my friend. He will not betray me. I did this and this as a favor. Nobody does favors more than Allah pinata. Nobody gave us more than Allah subhanaw taala. Yet that person still

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was not grateful. So why would you think he or she will be grateful to you? Therefore you have to be careful. Anybody who sins, anybody who disobey the law, not trustworthy.

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At least with dear things to you. Be careful because just like they betrayed the trust of Allah one day they will betray your trust.

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The soul finds consolation only in another soul. When we love each other, what are we really loving?

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Some people would say, it is the image.

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It is how you look like this is a very shallow relationship, friendship, the true relationship, the true friendship is among the souls. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam says, Allah, how do you know the magenta? souls are soldiers? soldiers are commanded. So when they are acquainted, when they know each other, they will be in love the souls What about the body. So when we have friendship, it's not the body, these the soul,

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the soul or the body? Look what he says.

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The body is a burden.

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Body is a burden, the true relationship is with the soul.

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The proof of this is that a person rushes to bury the body of his beloved

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when his soul departs, but he would feel sorrow for the departure of the soul, even if the dead body were present. True or false?

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If you love the body, why would you bury it? When the person dies? What happens? We bury people why because of the separation of the soul. So the true relationship is actually with the soul.

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This is the this is very profound. You need to think about it this way that our relationship truly with the soul, not with the body.

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The body actually is a burden.

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Husband and wife. They have been married for 25 years. And they have children and they had very nice marriage.

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The wife dies

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the husband will keep her

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the bodies they're not

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Change. You look at the body, the body is there, but what happened? The soul left. So the body has to be very, because the soul is not there. So our relationships are with the souls.

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If anything, this reminds us that we always need to nourish our souls,

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improve our souls. Yes, you look in the mirror, you try to look nice, you take some time to improve your image, but you need to improve your true personality which is insight within.

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I have not heard words more profitable to Satan than the following ugly and foolish to words. Okay.

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Foolish, ugly two words

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which are frequently uttered by his followers. So hopefully no one of you would do that. Because they are ugly and foolish words.

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The first is excusing one's wrongdoing by claiming that someone else committed the same wrong before him.

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You asked someone while you're doing this, don't you know it's haram? I saw everybody doing it. So what even if everybody does it? Allah says in the Quran wakulla hum. T yo melki Amity further on the Day of Judgment, we will be held accountable

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together or each person responsible for his or her own deeds.

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We're not responsible for your deeds, whatever you did is different. Just because other people did it. It doesn't make it halon never ever say that everybody's doing it. So I will do

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how many people do that unfortunately, or say that or I'm doing it because everybody's doing it? What's Haram is haram whether one person does it or everybody's doing what is haram is haram. So from now on inshallah never say about something or everybody's doing

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that doesn't make haram haram or change the fact it never does. What is haram is haram, regardless of who's doing it. What is halal is Helen,

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on the day of judgment, you are responsible for your own deeds, not for someone else's deeds.

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So that's number one.

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The second is excusing one's wrongdoing by saying that he already committed another wrong did another sin.

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Why don't you pray? Well, inshallah, when I stop smoking, inshallah, when I stopped drinking, yes, you should stop all sins, but just committing one sin doesn't mean you don't do a good deed. You have to do good deeds, and you have to stop from bad deeds, but just saying that, I cannot pray until I wear my hijab, when I wear a hijab inshallah, then I become practicing Muslim, and then I will know, yes, you should wear your hijab. But even if you didn't, you still have to pray.

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Prayer is one command separate. wearing hijab is another command and then other commands as well. Shaytan is coming through these gates to you. These are his steps. Why would you do that you think Allah will accept it from you look at you, you're doing another thing you're doing. So eventually, you don't do the good deeds. And that's what the chiffon wants. So don't give this excuse. In order for me to do this. I have to do that other thing. Yes, you do have to do the other thing. But if you didn't do it, that doesn't mean you don't pray, or you don't do that. Every command is separate. So don't give the excuse that everybody else is doing it. Don't give the excuse that I'm already doing

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something wrong. So this How good is it? You have to do it's a good deed You have to do it, regardless of how many bad deeds you're doing.

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These two words have become easy excuses to commit evil. Unfortunately, many people nowadays that's what they do. That's what they say. Everybody else is doing. Doing this. Like mortgage while you ask me. Look at other people they are doing it so that we can come just because it became common doesn't make it Hello in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala.

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These two words have become easy excuses to commit evil and reasons to engage in wrongdoing without feeling regret. And this is the problem at the time of the companions. When it's a minor thing they would feel like it's an

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Mountain over the shoulders. Now, it's a major thing. And we feel it's like a flight. We just do this and it's gone.

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This is the problem. People are not even feeling regret that they are really doing something wrong.

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I have an observation here Actually, it's not a big deal, but it's not visible. I don't know why. Why Malaysian woman expose their entire hands.

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This is not allowed.

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Just because people are doing it. That doesn't make it hard.

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And I say this because of handle. I don't see that here. Otherwise, I would be worried after leaving.

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So is there a reason.

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I mean, I see a lot of people doing that.

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I don't know where it came from. But I guess when a woman looks at other woman doing this, she thinks that it's okay, and they start doing it. Still not, not allowed.

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So this is an example.

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That's how people start saying everybody else is doing it.

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The purpose of existence is to extend all efforts for good causes. One round created, Alice's Roma, collective general insert Illa, Leah moon, this is our purpose of existence. It's not to show off with our bodies, with our muscles, how we look like to add more money into our accounts, all that could be good if it's used for the main purpose, which is worshiping Allah subhanaw taala, extend all efforts for good causes. What are these causes, the best of these causes are the needy neighbor, someone who's in need, but he's also around near you.

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You start with the ones that are around you,

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the poor relative.

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Now why the relative is not first, because the relative could be far away. Still, the neighbor has arrived over you because he's close to you. Now, while you're talking about others, not talking about our own selves, it's always better to help others. Because the benefit is extended. When you pray, when you add more about that to you, the benefit is only limited to you. But when you help others, the benefit is extended. And that's what always Islam encourages us to do. Try to extend the good deeds, the one who lost his good fortune. That's another one that deserve the good deed why he wasn't poor all the time. So he got used to it. This is a man who used to be rich, and now he has

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nothing. So it's even tough on him. It's difficult on her. It's a new situation. But for the poor, still difficult, but almost got used to it. It's just like another day, this person lost what he had. So it's harder

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not to spend

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or and the one who has pressing need, that's also another one

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because other things could be delayed, we have orphans. And we will have we have been helping them for the last three four years. But now there is an emergency there is an earthquake, there is people who are in need now immediately. So those take the advantage. Now, at this moment. Once it settles, once it becomes a usual thing, then we go back to the neighbors, the relatives, the ones that are around us.

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Nothing not to spend for the causes of the good in general is a form of of miserliness.

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Praise and scorn are due to a person in proportion to his spending for good causes or his holding back.

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Someone has 10 million ringgit and he's spending 100

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only 100 doing it. Someone else spends 10. Bring it, but he has 100 which one is better?

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The second one, although when you look at the amount which one is better?

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100 is more than 10. But proportionally which one has done much more? The second one. That's why you will be asked about what you can do. Not what you cannot do.

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Look, he spent 100,000 Yeah, but he had billions, not me.

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Millions. So this is nothing. The other one is trying his best. Look at the time of the companions, one man he didn't have anything, nothing, but he still wanted to give.

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So he prayed to Allah, Oh Allah accept my charity. I am forgiving anyone who attacked me.

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That's all he could do. So are we doing what we are able to do? Nobody is asking you to do what you cannot. Nobody. Allah does not burden the soul beyond its capacity. That's what the law says. Later, you can live long enough sun Ilsa, but when we want to evaluate, and not that we are the ones that are giving credits, or has an attitude, Allah subhanaw taala. But that's how it works. Yes, you gave 100 that one gave 10. But the one who gave 100 was able to give

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100,000 the one who gave them, that's all he could do. It's 10% of what he has.

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What you paid is less than 1%. So which one is better? That's why the prophet SAW Selim said, perhaps one Durham, one silver coin could surpass 1000 silver coins, because the one who had the one silver coin, that's all what he had. And the one who has 1000 he had much more than that. So yes, hamdulillah whoever is giving me a lot except May Allah reward. But is that what you were able to do? Or that's just something that you don't even pay attention to just like going and drinking coffee or having a meal, while the other person it was really big deal for him or her.

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So, this is what you need to think of.

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to spend for causes other than the causes of the good is squandering, and thus is disliked. Some people they like to show off, paying for things that are not really useful.

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And this is not praiseworthy. It is an Amana, it is a trust that a lot of they'll give you Yes, you can use it for any hallel thing. But to keep spending and thinking that this is good, there is no good purpose, you paid 10 times for this product. And that product is exactly the same just because of the name. Just because of the name. You want people to see that you have this name, this brand.

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So remember that it's a manner, you could have spent it in a much better way.

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Suspicion is thought of by some people to be advised in all cases. Some people are doubtful, always think of bad things.

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Why this person came late. Maybe he was drinking, and he didn't want anybody to watch him.

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Why the lights are off? Definitely. He or she is doing something wrong.

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What's the rolling here? If someone is always suspicious?

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Allah says a detainee boo Kathy Amina one, you have to avoid most of it.

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Is it because most of it is haram? No. Few of it is haram. But to avoid the few you have to avoid the most, most doesn't mean all. Okay? You cannot also just close your eyes and think or pretend that there is nothing wrong. That's also not the case. So that's what he's saying. Suspicious is thought of by some people to be wise. In all cases, it's not in all cases, in most cases. So if you see a man and a woman,

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they're not relatives, they're not married. And every night they come together,

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they go to a place for two, three hours and they come out. What are you going to think they are praying taraweeh

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This is a case where you cannot suspend the bad thinking, the bad suspicious. Here, you have to say what's going on because it's familiar to be in seclusion with a woman.

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And it's happening a lot. Usually, yes, you always give the benefit of the doubt for your Muslim brother and your Muslim sister, you always but if it has been repeated,

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then there has to be something that's why Allah said most of it, you avoid most of it, not all of it.

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Because some of the suspicion is haram. And some of it is not. That is the ruling. Because some of it is haram. You avoid most of it. Not all of it.

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When it's almost clear, like every night every night, and then there is urine out of the good excuses.

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Then definitely there is only one

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bad suspicion.

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The matter is not exactly like that. That suspicion is always bad. No suspicion is to be rejected when it leads to committing what is forbidden. When you think that of your Muslim brother and sister for no reason that is haram. So whenever your suspicion leading you to committing a sin that's Haram.

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You have been seeing them going there. You don't know what they are doing. So now you want to do try to open the door.

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That is fine. is spying allowed? It's Haram. So this is forbidden

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suspicion why because it led you to Haram. But when it is clear, you don't even need to ask anybody. They are doing it on their own. They are going there every night and coming out. So there is only one outcome. So it's not leading you to committing Haram. But when you spy, when you start committing a sin, then that's the suspicion that is prohibited

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or what is abhorrent in dealing with people. Otherwise, it is a form of caution. It is a form of caution and Islam teaches us how to be cautious

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starts from the look you don't gaze at woman because it could lead to conversation. Conversation leads to seclusion, seclusion leads to actions, actions could lead eventually to haram major sin. So Islam doesn't tell you until the major sin happens, you committed a major sin, know from the beginning he tells you you have to avoid all the means that are leading you that way.

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Among the vices of vanity is that it ruins the good deeds, vanity ruins the good deeds.

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If the good doctor likes to be known for his good deeds, he almost enters into shirk, almost Ria profits are seldom said about showing off. What did he say? minor shift. We ask people please help we want to print we don't have enough budget for this. So can you help? Yes, but I want my name to be on the top.

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I like to be given credit. If you only did it for that, then this is a problem. Because you want to be known for doing it's a good deed you helped in this. But it shouldn't matter whether your name was mentioned or not. But if you only want to be known that your name has to be on the top, this is the one who did it, then it's leading to schilke because now you're not doing the good deeds to please Allah, you're doing them Why? To be known of the good deeds, this is a problem.

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Because he works for a cause other than the cause of Allah. So how do you know whether you are sincere or not? When people's praise and criticism is equal to you, you when you are going to do it anyways?

00:33:30--> 00:33:37

Then you are sincere. After that, if people credit came hungry life, it didn't come it doesn't matter.

00:33:39--> 00:34:20

People ask me a lot. I don't know here what is the system but in America, when somebody donates, they could report for the taxes and it could be deducted from the taxes. So they asked Can we do that? Is this entering into this? and ask them back in order for me to give you the answer, I have to ask you, are you doing it for the tax deduction or you want to help but the tax deduction is just an added benefit if it's here or hamdulillah if it's not there hamdulillah. So if it is the second then you are sincere, but if you are doing it only to report it for the tax deduction, then you have to be careful.

00:34:22--> 00:34:48

So always ask yourself why I am doing this for the cause of Allah. If that's the thing, then it's sincere. People's praise afterwards will not affect it. Just like had you are going for Hajj. You want to please Allah subhanaw taala but you know, they're they like this product that you have. So you take some of these products to sell there.

00:34:49--> 00:34:50

It is permissible

00:34:51--> 00:35:00

because your primary cause is to please allow you want to perform hench whatever came later, that's an added benefit. So it is permissive.

00:35:00--> 00:35:02

But you go only

00:35:04--> 00:35:04

to sell.

00:35:05--> 00:35:11

And then you were offered free hedge and you say, why not, I'm going there anyways to sell, then that's a problem.

00:35:17--> 00:35:33

This behavior diminishes the value of his deeds, because he does not do a good deed for the love of the good. But for the sake of fame, and unfortunately, some people are like that. You tell them help. This is a good cause.

00:35:34--> 00:35:36

How many people will know that I did it.

00:35:37--> 00:35:47

This is a problem because you're not doing it for the sake of the good deeds. He was doing it for the sake of being known being famous. How many people are going to watch.

00:35:48--> 00:36:01

So if people are like that, then this is a problem. And that's again, the bad effect of fame. Always try to be sincere, do the deeds regardless.

00:36:03--> 00:36:09

Whoever praises you unjustly has in fact criticized you severely.

00:36:10--> 00:36:13

When someone praises you unjustly

00:36:14--> 00:36:16

masala every night

00:36:18--> 00:36:23

he is awake, praying family, that's why he or she comes late.

00:36:24--> 00:36:27

And you know, you're not coming late because you're praying gamma gamma Lee,

00:36:29--> 00:36:30

but

00:36:31--> 00:36:32

you watch TV.

00:36:33--> 00:37:14

And some people are happy with this praise. He praise family. That's actually criticism. Why? Because there wasn't any good need to be said about you. They had to fabricate something. He prays or she praised the MLA and you're happy with it. Because he didn't do any good deeds. So he wanted any praise. Unfortunately, some Muslim leaders nowadays are like that. they portray them in the media, like the good doors and the philanthropists and the reformers, because there is nothing else to talk about. They didn't do any good deed. This is the problem with some people that's actually not praised. That's criticism.

00:37:15--> 00:37:22

So make sure that you are never happy with someone saying about you something that is not true.

00:37:23--> 00:37:30

prophets lie Selim said al Motta Cheb. Bear with me lm Europa, the one who's happy with what he is giving credit for.

00:37:32--> 00:37:39

Which is not true, is like the one who is wearing two garments of falsehoods. It's all fake.

00:37:41--> 00:37:44

And you shouldn't be happy with something that is not true.

00:37:49--> 00:37:58

And whoever now, okay, why this is criticism, for he brings attention to your shortcomings,

00:38:00--> 00:38:04

you will notice that there is nothing good to be talked about, they have to fabricate something.

00:38:06--> 00:38:17

The MLA is a good deed, it was thought that you're doing it, but you're not doing it. So it ends up as criticism. And that's why it is bad. Because you should have praised family.

00:38:21--> 00:38:31

And whoever criticizes you unjustly has in fact praised you greatly. Some people are upset when they are criticized.

00:38:33--> 00:38:41

While you are upset, well, what they are saying is not true, you should be very happy. If it's not true, you should be very happy, they couldn't find anything through they had to lie.

00:38:42--> 00:38:57

They have to lie to say something bad about you, which means there is nothing bad about you. So you shouldn't be happy. Many people don't think of it like that. They say if it was true, I would be okay, I would accept it. No, you shouldn't be more happy when they lie about you.

00:38:58--> 00:39:08

Because they couldn't find anything true. So actually, this is prays for you, you should be happy because when they lied,

00:39:09--> 00:39:11

and people will know.

00:39:12--> 00:39:15

They will realize that there is nothing bad to talk about.

00:39:17--> 00:39:24

So whoever criticized you unjustly has indeed praised you greatly because they couldn't find

00:39:26--> 00:39:37

anything wrong. He therefore has given you the upper hand and belittle himself by his denial of your virtues.

00:39:38--> 00:39:52

That's what happens. You cannot find anything wrong. So you don't have to fabricate something against you, which is an admission of your virtuous, I can't find anything.

00:39:54--> 00:39:59

Therefore, I actually always like feedback. When people give their feedback and you see that this is

00:40:00--> 00:40:25

Not true. Still, it's their feeling. That's what they feel you cannot tell them what you feel is wrong. That's their feeling. But this is not true. This is not Hungary law. So what you're doing is good. Then finally you find someone telling you one tiny thing, you should be very happy because that's all they could find. So everything else is good. Some people are unhappy. They say this man always,

00:40:26--> 00:40:41

does this nitpicking finding the slightest errors, you should be happy, because if you have the entire board white, and they said, oh, there is one black dot humbleth that means the entire board is wide. They Everything is fine. Only that thing.

00:40:43--> 00:40:45

One time a brother came to me.

00:40:46--> 00:40:49

And he said, Why you always pray on time?

00:40:51--> 00:40:57

You don't wait one more minute. I was very happy because to him this was a problem.

00:40:59--> 00:41:05

Very sharp, very punctual. That's how we were supposed to be. So he asked him, What do you want?

00:41:06--> 00:41:20

half a minute, one minute, okay. But other people will not be happy with that. You will never be able to please everyone. But again, if your criticism was actually this, this is praise.

00:41:21--> 00:41:44

When someone says you always come on time, they think that this is criticism, this is praise, you are punctual. That's what they are doing. So always try to think of it this way. Always try to be positive that what they are saying actually is good for you. Don't be offended, don't feel bad, or what they're saying is not true. It's good hamdulillah You should be happy.

00:41:47--> 00:42:08

If the imperfect really becomes aware of his shortcomings, he would become perfect. If you know of your shortcomings without people needing to tell you you become perfect. Why? Because you know, the shortcomings, which means you're working on them.

00:42:10--> 00:42:59

Nobody says I am wrongdoer. Everybody says I'm perfect. Even the criminal he would say I didn't do anything wrong, he or she deserved. So what they did is right. But when you acknowledge that you have shortcomings, without even people knowing you will be perfect because you are working on them. But the one who is not aware? Why would you work on something you don't acknowledge? This is not wrong. So why would you even work on it? There is no need. So actually, being unaware that by itself is the biggest shortcoming you have when you are unaware of your shortcomings. Because why would you even correct anything to you, you think you're perfect? There is nothing to work on. That is the

00:42:59--> 00:43:00

worst thing.

00:43:03--> 00:43:08

No creature is free from fault. So if you say no, no, I am truly

00:43:10--> 00:43:37

error less free from error. No, unfortunately, it's not true. Unless you are an alien. That would be a different story. If you're not human being because the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said kulu kulu, which means all khulumani Adam or hapa, all children of Adam, they make mistakes, they all commit errors or

00:43:38--> 00:43:45

what have you. So it's not whether you commit or you make mistakes or not, you do make mistakes.

00:43:46--> 00:44:04

If you deny that, again, you're either not a human being, or you don't believe in the prophet SAW Selim never will. Because he said all the other hapa The issue is whether you seek repentance, whether you correct the wrongdoing.

00:44:07--> 00:44:28

So no creature is free from fault. The blissful is the one who has fewer and minor faults. That's all. Yes, I have only three. He has four. Or I had two in the past. Now I'm trying to make them only one. Make it only one. That's the blissful The one who has less.

00:44:31--> 00:44:44

Most of what happens is not expected. Caution is in being prepared for what is expected. So if most of what happens, is not expected. Why would we plan?

00:44:46--> 00:44:47

Why would we plan

00:44:48--> 00:44:59

if most of what happened is not expected. There is a wisdom here that Allah always reminds us that he is in control, not us. Yes, it's good.

00:45:00--> 00:45:26

plan to have a vision to try to think or see in the future, what's going to happen. That is caution. That is a good thing. So some of it would happen, not most of it. Because a lie is always in control, but just to dismiss everything and to live haphazardly, that's wrong. When you say, Well, if a lie is in control, why would I need to plan or to try to do anything? No, you have to

00:45:28--> 00:45:41

at least you're doing your part. You're doing your best, your best. That's what the prophet SAW Allah used to do. He didn't say allies protecting me. So let's come and go for migration.

00:45:42--> 00:46:00

He planned, long days before he prepared camels, he went south opposite direction, he planned perfectly for the journey. So when it comes exactly as planned, hamdulillah when it doesn't come, at least you did what you could.

00:46:04--> 00:46:26

Glory be to the one who arranged for this affair. So the human would learn his limitation. That is the lesson that is the wisdom that we all have limitations, but still, we always need to try. So even if most of what happened was not planned at least some of it we planned for it. So we did something good.

00:46:27--> 00:46:54

Glory be to the one who arranged for this affair. So the human would learn his limitation and his constant need for his creator, the Exalted full of majesty. That's why the prophet SAW Selim of his law while at the kill me NFC part for time. Don't make me rely on myself. Even the blink of an eye. We are always in need of Allah subhanho wa Taala always

00:47:00--> 00:47:04

the one who reprimands you values, your friendship.

00:47:06--> 00:47:11

And the one who is at ease with your vices belittles your friendship.

00:47:13--> 00:47:24

Unlike what most people want, or love, I love someone who always praises me who doesn't criticize me that's my friend and reality. No, that's not your friend.

00:47:26--> 00:47:33

Because you are committing a sin, you're doing something wrong and he's not telling you he's not advising you. That's not really your friend.

00:47:34--> 00:47:55

The true friend is the one who cares about you. That's why I'm telling you this because I care about you. Others it doesn't matter to them to me It matters. I don't want you to be harmed in the future now you don't see it but later you see it. See? does Allah love us or hate us?

00:47:56--> 00:48:10

You should you look at the Quran it's full of warnings. Why you have zero common law who nafsa Yeah, are you Hannah Dakota back home? Yeah, you are Latina. takala all you who believe fear Allah, all mankind fear Allah.

00:48:12--> 00:48:57

That's a warning coming from Allah who loves us. He doesn't want us to be heedless, and then immediately go to hell fire. Be careful, you don't do this. That's the result. I love you. That's why I'm warning you. So the one who reprimands you don't be upset with him or her. Actually, you should be loving that person because he or she cares about you. And that's why they are saying what they are saying. But the one who doesn't say anything, it doesn't matter to him or her. Whether you got harmed in the future or everything was okay. They don't care. So they are not really your friends. So the true friend is the one who cares about you caring meaning that he wants you to be

00:48:57--> 00:49:01

better, she wants you to be better so they will speak

00:49:02--> 00:49:05

they will speak and tell you what is wrong.

00:49:07--> 00:49:17

reprimanding a friend is like smelting and or see how you can tell this is authentic gold, or it is copper.

00:49:19--> 00:49:30

Color only. deceiving sometimes. What do you do? You have to burn smelled. That's exactly reprimanding for a friendship.

00:49:32--> 00:49:47

If you don't care whether he or she did good or bad, it's equal then where is the caring, but when it is good, you send him the law and it is bad you want that is like purification process for the friendship.

00:49:48--> 00:49:51

So the one who cares is the one who is

00:49:52--> 00:49:59

giving you an advice reprimanding you. Just like the gold. You want to purify it. You smelt the oil.

00:50:01--> 00:50:06

Original, so it becomes pure gold, the same thing with friendship.

00:50:09--> 00:50:18

You should employ the good part of your wealth and affluence to help whoever asks your help. And whoever does not ask.

00:50:20--> 00:50:33

I wait until people ask No, you knew that this is a good deed, why didn't you do it? If you wait until people ask you, then that means you didn't really look for the good deed you wanted to be recognized, or you want it to be needed.

00:50:34--> 00:50:44

The true believer should do the good deeds when he or she is able to, you know that this person in need, do it? No, no, I will wait until they ask.

00:50:45--> 00:50:53

That means you're not doing it for the sake of the good deed, you're doing it to be recognized to be given the credit.

00:50:54--> 00:51:09

So whoever asks your help, and whoever doesn't ask, and to fulfill the needs of those who need you, and whom you are able to benefit. Even if you have no desire to offer your help,

00:51:10--> 00:51:25

you are able to then do it. I still remember and I mentioned it panela. This is maybe the third or fourth time I mentioned this example, for a man who's even not a Muslim, but he did a good deed. And I still respect that.

00:51:27--> 00:51:29

He's a diplomat in the South African consulate.

00:51:31--> 00:51:55

And I applied for a visa for us we need a visa to go there Syrians. So the application states that you get three months, sometimes they give you six months, multiple entry. So when I apply, that's what I asked, I needed only to go there twice, three months would be enough for me. He gave me one year. That's the maximum he could give. I didn't ask for one year.

00:51:57--> 00:52:01

And I actually told him why you did this. He said I can. So I did it.

00:52:02--> 00:52:16

Until now I appreciate that it actually helped me a lot because that happened last year. Had he gave me only three months, I would have applied again and paid more money and I went through the process. But look at this. He said I can Why not?

00:52:18--> 00:52:23

Do we do that? Because we can or we wait until people ask.

00:52:24--> 00:52:32

Especially if you know that this person is in need. He wants that, although he didn't speak. So why you Wait, what's the holdup?

00:52:34--> 00:52:35

You can still do it.

00:52:39--> 00:52:44

And you should not expect compensation for your generosity.

00:52:45--> 00:52:47

That's the thing also.

00:52:48--> 00:53:12

A good deed What does it mean you are anticipating the reward from Allah subhanho wa Taala the true reward will be in the hereafter if people acknowledged if they gave you something as a token of appreciation as some hamdulillah but this is not what you should be looking for. Otherwise your deed was not really sincere for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala

00:53:13--> 00:53:32

you should not expect compensation for your generosity, other than the rewards bestowed upon you by your Lord. Glory and greatness be to Him. And you should allow that the one you have held might be the first to harm you and to work against you.

00:53:33--> 00:53:35

This sometimes hurts some people

00:53:37--> 00:53:49

after all, what I did to them, this is what they did to me, it doesn't matter. Okay, it doesn't matter. You did it not because you are expecting them to thank you, you did it because you want the reward from Allah.

00:53:50--> 00:53:58

So whether they were grateful, or they were not ungrateful, it doesn't matter, you did it for the sake of Allah.

00:54:01--> 00:54:08

I will stop here because the next paragraph needs actually some time to explain. And

00:54:09--> 00:54:12

do you have any questions, any comments? any

00:54:14--> 00:54:15

follow up?

00:54:17--> 00:54:21

Or we could go for the next paragraph if you want something

00:54:22--> 00:54:23

Mashallah good.

00:54:24--> 00:54:28

Do not counsel on the condition that your advice will be accepted.

00:54:31--> 00:54:35

We have to differentiate, especially for parents.

00:54:37--> 00:54:39

They always give commands.

00:54:41--> 00:54:42

She's your daughter.

00:54:45--> 00:54:50

We Is it a command or advice? Sometimes you see people and you tell them?

00:54:52--> 00:54:59

This man is doing something wrong. Why don't you advise him or even if I told him he will not do it, who said that they have to listen to you.

00:55:00--> 00:55:24

If they have to listen to you, that doesn't make it an advice, it makes it a command. So is it a command or an advice? That's why advice, meaning that you expect they will not listen to you. That is the advice. So never ever wait for the outcome. Or they will not listen to me doesn't matter. You do your part. That's the purpose of the advice, you are doing your part.

00:55:26--> 00:55:32

So do not counsel on the condition that your advice will be accepted.

00:55:34--> 00:55:40

Do not intercede on somebody's behalf on the condition that your intercession will be answered.

00:55:41--> 00:56:06

I need something from you. But I am afraid that you will reject it. You will not grant me what I'm asking. But he knows you. So I hope that if I told him, maybe you will agree. So I go to him and I tell him please try to intercede. Again, he says no. If he said no, he will not change that. So I will not try. You should try.

00:56:07--> 00:56:19

Don't intercede on the condition that your intercession will be accepted. Even the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the best of all creatures, his intercession was rejected.

00:56:21--> 00:56:24

There is a beautiful story, romantic story

00:56:26--> 00:57:04

maleev and barrier, you know, variera she was a slave woman. And I sort of the law helped her she paid for her emancipation. So she became free. She was married to movies with his slave man. She was a slave woman. Now she became what? free, so a free woman becomes higher rank. She has the option to cancel the marriage or to keep it so she opted for canceling the marriage. She didn't want to be married to Maria anymore. Maria was in love.

00:57:06--> 00:57:11

So much that he would cry following her in Medina. For men.

00:57:13--> 00:57:22

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he felt sorry he sympathized with him repeatedly. So he told a lie Best of the alarm. He told him.

00:57:23--> 00:57:56

Don't you see how he loves her and she hates him. So he tried the prophet SAW Selim wanted to help him. He went to Madeira, he told her Why don't you take him back? She said, and look at the respect of the companions. She said, Are you commending me is that a command? Because if it's a command, there is no option? He said, No, I'm just trying to intercede. She said I don't want him. She didn't want him. Pastor Sam did not force her did not tell her you are rejecting my intercession. I am the messenger of Allah. He didn't.

00:57:57--> 00:58:37

So she didn't take him back. So the intercession of the prophet SAW Selim himself was rejected. Why would you feel bad if your advice was not taken? Or your intercession was not accepted? Who are you to think that everything you say will be listened to Who are you? Even the commands of Allah subhanaw taala, people are disobeying them. And still, they are not punished. Allah is so merciful. So this is important, especially with our kids, many times, do this. Don't do this, though. Instead, give them the choice. let them choose your role as a father as a mother as a parent, to show them.

00:58:38--> 00:59:10

The prophet SAW Selim didn't force people to accept Islam, he would feel bad that they are not accepting Islam because he knows the consequences. But still, Allah reminded him for that give him Nana and Tomodachi you are on the owner. That's all. So let's take ourselves out of this mode. commands do don't do. This is what you have to do. This is what you shouldn't know what if you can do this, what do you think? Would you like to do this? That's what should be.

00:59:12--> 00:59:14

We are saying that's what we should be saying.

00:59:16--> 00:59:19

Do not give on the condition that you will be rewarded.

00:59:20--> 00:59:22

Again, a gift is a gift.

00:59:24--> 00:59:34

But if it's a transaction, that means you are expecting something in return. I'm not going to give them a gift, this aid because last aid, they didn't give me anything.

00:59:35--> 00:59:59

Some people that's what they do. No. It's a gift, regardless of what they will do in return. You do what you're supposed to do. See what why these simple things. If you implement them, you will be very comfortable. Because at the end of the day, it's not about what people are doing to you. It's not about how they are reacting to you. It's about you. What you do what you are

01:00:00--> 01:00:00

supposed to do.

01:00:06--> 01:00:41

But for the sake of employing your resources, virtuously, and for the sake of fulfilling your duties to counsel, intercede and give charity, you did what you're supposed to do. That's what you're supposed to do. So I did it, what other people are supposed to do in return? That's not the main issue. hamdulillah if they took it in a good way, hamdulillah if they didn't, still, I did my part. So that's what you are supposed to do?

01:00:44--> 01:00:45

Should we continue or stop here?

01:00:50--> 01:00:52

One more, okay.

01:00:54--> 01:00:56

If I got a ticket for my car, you're responsible.

01:00:57--> 01:01:02

I paid for 1030 1045 next time.

01:01:04--> 01:01:05

It's okay. It's

01:01:07--> 01:01:19

the essence of friendship is to be distressed, by what distresses the other and to be pleased by what pleases the other.

01:01:22--> 01:01:27

Am I your friend or not? You want to test this is a test for true friendship.

01:01:29--> 01:01:47

What hurts your friend hurts you. If you can have the same feeling, then that's really friendship. If not, then it is not the friendship. It's a fake relationship. If it's only about you, then it's one way, relationship. Friendship has to be both ways.

01:01:48--> 01:01:57

Okay. So if you are distressed by what distress is your friend, feel happy for the happiness of your friend and that is a true friendship.

01:02:00--> 01:02:20

If a person falls short of this, then he is not a friend. And he has this trait, then he is a friend. You are distressed, or happy by your friends happiness, or your friends distress, you can simplify, you can feel

01:02:22--> 01:02:23

that is the

01:02:24--> 01:02:25

friendship.

01:02:26--> 01:02:51

A person might be a friend of someone who is not his friend. Now, that's another thing. If I ask you to list three friends, and you write the names, I go to those three friends and I tell them write down names of three friends, they might not put you Why? Because again, what we feel about others, not necessarily the exact feeling of them about us.

01:02:53--> 01:03:03

It's not nice, but it's true. Some same thing. Sometimes you would love someone but that person doesn't exchange the same love to you.

01:03:08--> 01:03:28

So he could be a friend to someone and he or she might not be thinking of you as a friend. Of course the best is the mutual friendship that you consider him or her your best friend and he or she consider you the best friend. That is the best but sometimes it doesn't happen this way.

01:03:31--> 01:03:36

In Arabic, we have very beautiful line of poetry, or look to her on

01:03:37--> 01:03:40

one delicado julu

01:03:41--> 01:03:43

complicated relationship.

01:03:44--> 01:03:51

He accidentally fell in love with her. She loves another person and that person loves another woman.

01:03:53--> 01:03:56

It could happen. So how can you resolve this?

01:03:57--> 01:04:05

You love a woman but she's not in love with you. She loves the man, the man. That man doesn't love this woman he loves another woman.

01:04:06--> 01:04:07

It could happen

01:04:08--> 01:04:15

and it is not easy. The best is the mutual friendship, love and any relationship.

01:04:16--> 01:04:17

Okay.

01:04:19--> 01:04:23

Any questions, any comments? Ask as much as you want.

01:04:36--> 01:04:38

Okay, so inshallah, see you next time.