Channel: Ikram Sanaullah
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Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah he Nakamoto who wanna Stein owners toggle Pharaoh who want me to be one of our calling
102 builders, you mean Cerulean fusina Woman sejahtera Molina Manya de la HuFa modela former Youth Lilu Fela de ella, one a shadow Lama who the hula Cherie cola one a shadow and a saggy Donna one Molana Muhammad Abu rasuluh Amma bar foldable La Mina shaytani R rajim Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem Rahim. Here y'all arena Manu aku and Fusa Khumba Holly coonara worku Johannes, Wolfie Java, so the Kabbalah the respected teachers, scholars, beloved elders and my brothers in Islam.
We should really think Allah subhanho wa Taala for granting us a religion, which gives a lot of importance to the system of family structure. There are many individuals out there many traditions and many cultures out there who don't really give importance to this aspect. And who don't really want this relation.
In the Holy Quran, more than the theory aspect, Allah subhanho wa Taala presents the case study of this relation, the relation of a parent to the child or the relation of the child to the parent. For example, let us look at the story of Ibrahim Ali Salam. Ibrahim Ali Salam, an amazing son, who can have a better son than Ibrahim Ali Salah
whose father other is an idol worshiper, and he doesn't only worship idols, but he sells idols.
So, Ibrahim Ali Salam is the leader who is a son is the leader of the concept of Oneness of Allah subhanho wa taala. And on the other side, he has a father who worships idols, say primally salaams father is completely on the wrong side and the son is on the right side. Let us look at another case study the story of yaku Ali salaam Yaqoob Ali salaam, a beautiful father, amazing father, kind, gentle father, a prophet,
but he has children one child is in the obedience of Allah subhanaw taala that is Yusuf Ali Salam. But then again, he has some children who were rebellious till a certain period of time later on the dependent, they were in the disobedience of Allah subhanho wa taala. So the point I'm trying to get at is that sometimes you're going to have parents like Aza and sometimes you're going to have parents like yaku Bodhi salaam, sometimes you're going to have children, like Ibrahim Ali salah, and sometimes you're going to have children like those of jacobellis Salam, who were in the disobedience of Allah subhanho wa taala. Another beautiful case study towards the end of Surah Kahf Allah
subhanho wa Taala talks about either Ali Salah Haider Ali Salam meets a child and then he kills the child. Apparently it looks like oppression. But when asked hither, Ali Salam says that this child when he was going to grow up, he was going to be rebellious, and he was going to trouble the parents. And when Allah Tala talks about the parents in the Quran, Allah says about whiny Solly hain, the parents who are going to be pious and righteous. That is why I kill the child. So in this in this scenario, the child was going to be disobedient. And the parents were going to be in the obedience of Allah subhanho wa taala. Now the point I'm trying to make is that in this life in this
life, as far as our children are concerned, we do not have control over them.
In this life, as far as our children are concerned, we do not have control over them, we have responsibilities over them. And there's a big difference between control and responsibility. Control is when you tell your child, you have to marry this person. That's it. No ifs and buts, responsibilities when you tell your child that I've done my inspection, this person you want to marry is not good for you. There's going to be a disaster in this marriage. That is responsibility. Control is when you tell your child you have to become the hobbies or you have to become a doctor. That's it. responsibilities when you wake up with the child every morning, when the child has to go
to madrasah and you have to talk the child to madrasa then you have to pick the child then again after maghrib you have to draw the child and to understand the challenges of the child or you want your child to become a doctor. Now you have to just tell the child you have to become a doctor. That's it. No, that's control responsibility. You have to become a doctor
Take care of your fees, I will take care of your bringing, I will take care of your expenses that is responsibility. respected elders and friends when a child is born, Allah subhanho wa Taala gives us certain level of control on this child a certain level. For example, when when a child is born, who feeds the child, you are the mother, Who clothes the child. You are the mother, who talks to the child and chooses the words through which the child should be spoken to. You are the mother who chooses the school of the child, you are the mother who chooses the madrasah the child you are the mother.
So Allah Tala gives us that control, then comes a time, where slowly slowly Allah subhanaw taala starts taking away that control from you as parents, now the child starts talking, now the child starts eating, now the child starts walking and start sitting with whomever who he or she wants to sit with. Now the child will even come and tell you that I don't want to go to this school. I want to go to this school because my friends are going to this school. Now the question which we have to ask ourselves is that when Allah subhanho wa Taala gave us that control? Did we fulfill our responsibility? Did we give the right of bringing to the child? Did we give the right teachings to
the child? If we gave the right upbringing and the right teachings Alhamdulillah the results and the outcomes are in the hands of Allah subhanho wa taala.
If if the child has to be become disobedient in the future, then let us look at the look at the example of yaku palay Salam. When your coop Ali Salam was told by his other rebellious children that Yusuf has died.
He was killed by a fox.
When in reality it was the children themselves who threw Yusuf Ali Salam in the well, what was the response of Iacobelli Salah for sovereign Jamil, for sovereign Jamil beautiful patience, there is nothing else I can do. And look at this matter.
Yusuf Ali Salam didn't get the upbringing of Iacobelli Salam, he had to stay in the palace of the king, the most corrupted place of that time, later on here to stay in the prison was but then he becomes a prophet. And on the other hand, all the other children who are rebellious, stayed under the upbringing of Iacobelli salah, so the outcome is not in our hands, it is in the hands of Allah subhanaw taala.
We are supposed to fulfill our responsibility as parents,
you know, once a man, an old man came forth 200, Amara, the Allahu taala, and who, and he started complaining about his child, that my child is disobeying me and all sorts of things. So the Kumara, the Allahu taala, who called the child, and he started admonishing him, that why don't you obey your father?
So the child said that all middle meaning, or the trauma or the low talent who tell me, do I, as a child have rights over my parents? So other trauma or the Allahu taala? Who said that? Yes, you do have rights over your parents, right? Number one is that your parents, if it's a father, then they are supposed to choose the right mother for you. And if it's a mother, then they are supposed to choose the right father for you. Respected elders and friends. No religion has gone into this much of depth, where before the arrival of the child, before the existence of the child, the right of the child begins.
And the reason is obvious. When you have to choose the right spouse, and a decent spouse than the upbringing that is going to be given to the child is going to be right and decent. Imagine you end up marrying someone who doesn't even know how to speak properly, or who uses vulgarity in his or her language. Or imagine you end up marrying someone who doesn't understand responsibilities. Or you end up marrying a woman who doesn't even know how to cook or a woman ends up marrying or has a person a man who doesn't even understand responsibilities, there will be disaster in that marriage, and what kind of upbringing is going to be given to the child.
So that is the first slide before looking for the next most handsome men for our daughters are before looking for the next most beautiful girl for our our children. Let us understand that the most important thing is the inner beauty. It is the inner conduct and character. So that is the first slide. Then other tomorrow, the alo Talon who said that the second right that you have over your parents as a child is that they are supposed to give you a good name. You know they are names that have good names.
meanings, their names that have bad meanings, they are names that have no meanings. They are names. That might mean something in our native language, but it might mean completely something else in another language. So we should choose the names of our children very carefully. We don't want our children growing up practicing us that look, you gave me this name. Now my friends at school at Madras are teasing me because of that name. You know, we are talking about names that might might mean or pronounce something in our language, language, and it might pronounce something in another language. There is a there is a funny incident that comes to my mind. Upon one occasion, there was
this one brother resting in the park. And he was from Punjab his surname was seeing his surname was seeing, and he was taking more than one space and he didn't know how to speak English. So white men was passing by. So he asked him, Are you relaxing? So now this man thought that he's asking me my name? He's asking me my name. His name was Dilip Singh. So he said, No, I'm Dilip Singh. So he went by another white man came and he asked me same question. Are you relaxing? He said, No, I'm deleting another man came by Are you relaxing? No, man, I'm Dilip Singh. So he stood up, and he went, he got frustrated. So he went on the other side of the park. And he saw another man lying down, and this
man understood English. So he goes to him and he tells him, are you relaxing? So he says, yes, they are looking for you on the other side.
So sometimes a name might mean something in our language. And it might mean something else in another language, and respected elders and friend, friends. These names do have an effect on the life of the child. We know of someone who told us that he his mother's name was Sabirah. His mother's name was Sabirah. And this person had three brothers. The meaning of solder is to practice patience, right? So he said that my first brother passed away. My second brother passed away. So we change the name of our mother to Shakira, which means to be thankful. Sobre means to practice patience, when do you practice patience when these calamities in your life, so they change the name,
so we should choose the names very carefully. Then other tomorrow, the amount Allen who said that the third write, that you have over your parents as a child, is that your parents are supposed to give you the knowledge of Quran they are supposed to teach you Quran when Maratea mo Talon was talking about Quran, he's just not talking about reading Quran, he's talking about the divine wisdom and the knowledge hidden behind the Quran. And this third point right here is a slap on our face, it is a direct slap on our face, especially for those parents who give preference to any other knowledge than the knowledge of the Quran. It is not being said that we shouldn't teach any other
knowledge to our children. Yes, we should teach them. But as parents, we need to equate, we need to balance the equation of academic level academic knowledge and Islamic knowledge, we have to do that. If we don't do that, then we are not fulfilling the right of the child. It is our choice, whether we want our children to be called doctor or we want them to be called a good Muslim doctor in any knowledge, they are only going to stick to the professional aspect of that particular field. But when it comes to the knowledge of the Quran, it covers all the areas it teaches a person how to be a good human. So it is our choice whether we wanted the children to be called doctor or a good Muslim
doctor, an engineer, or a good Muslim engineer is scientists or a good Muslim scientists. So that is the third point. And then this child looks looks at other Amara, the Allahu taala. And who, and he says that all mero meaning my father hasn't fulfilled a single right? My father hasn't fulfilled a single right from the rights that you have mentioned. So that rumor or the Allahu taala, who now leaves the child, and he starts admonishing the Father, that this is how you have stayed with your child. How can you not expect him to be the way he is?
And if other tomorrow the amygdala was going to talk about the fourth point right now, looking at the time and age, he was going to tell us that oh, my beloved parents or my beloved parents, all my beloved parents, be kind to your children. Believe in your children, have confidence in your children. Sometimes you just have to be a father. Sometimes you just have to be a mother. Sometimes you just have to be that uncle in the society to whom the youth and the children can confined into let us stop being this big Mufti all the time. Let us go being this big guy all the time, who can be a great movie then Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa
Selam who can be a greater die than Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam yet, when he used to deal with children, he used to become like a child,
famous incident at the Anasazi Talon who mentions that upon one occasion, Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came to our house, and other ultra low talent who had a younger brother whose name was Amir Amir, whose name was Romeo, and he had a pet bird and the bird died. So the connoisseur the Talon mentions the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam came to our house and just to make up the tomato, the low talent who feel better, because he was saddened by the death of the pet bird just to make the child feel better Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu some started joking with him, and he said a sentence to him which he said Yaba, only Maka, Allah knew there, Yama omae
what happened to know
what happened? You know, look at Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. You know, when Imam Shafi Rahmatullah yachting went to sleep at the house of Imam Muhammad bin humble Rahmatullah YALI. He spent the whole night pondering on this sentence of Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and he extracted 2000 lessons from the sentence of Prophet moments and Maoism how many lessons 2000 lessons few lessons Lesson number one, you should give a nickname to your child. Look at Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he called omega about omega. So you should give a nickname to your child. You should call your children by Habibi, my beloved, my John, we give good nicknames to
our wives. They even saved it already saved in our phones, my angel, my other half. The other day I saw in someone's phone, she that matters. She that matters. We give nicknames. Otherwise, what is give nicknames to our children. That's the first lesson. Then another lesson. Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
gave a name to the bird, new head. So it means you can have a pet and you can name the pet.
Another lesson you can have a pet which is a bird. Another lesson Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was kind towards the children.
So look at how Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam stayed with the children. You know there is another famous Hadith Subhan Allah upon one occasion,
the namaz the Salat started, and one young Sahabi came running towards the salah. Nowadays, even the adults do that when young Shah became running towards the Salah, so after the Salah, the Sahaba complained that this young sa B runs towards the Salah, and it makes a lot of noise. What was the reaction of Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam you know, I remember when when we were young, and we used to stand behind in the Salah, and whilst performing Salah if we were looking up or down there, someone would just come from behind and give a shot on our neck.
Well, it was out of love pure love mela su some of them have even passed away. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant them gender regardless, so what the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu some say, Prophet Muhammad SAW some call the child and he said to him, that I love your enthusiasm. I love your zeal, look, he gave a positive comment first. And then he told him that next time you shouldn't repeat.
So that was the way of Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when it came to dealing with children. And I would like to end with one important point. This was all about the rights of the children. It was all about the rights of the children. I gave the same ban in one of the masjid and one parent came and said, What about parents? What about parents well, let as youth as children, we need to understand that we may have not prayed for them to be our parents. But they have prayed their whole life for us to be their children. That should be enough force to understand the rights of our parents. May Allah subhanaw taala give us the ability to practice on whatever has been said.
I mean walk through the letter of the law