» Earn on-going rewards and help us do more! «

Controlling Anger

share this pageShare Page
Hussain Kamani

Channel: Hussain Kamani

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:00--> 00:00:00

I know him

00:00:02--> 00:00:07

100 Allah hamdu lillahi wa kafa was Ramadan a burning Latino stuffer?

00:00:08--> 00:00:11

Also sanada tsujita do sudo hartville Mb

00:00:12--> 00:00:15

while Li Ischia was hobby

00:00:17--> 00:00:17

ama back

00:00:19--> 00:00:24

before are we learning administrate honor regimes? smilla rahmanir rahim

00:00:25--> 00:00:37

Allah Dena Yun yaku and a few Southern law, you will not roll you will call the mean and leave. While I Faena and in US law who your mercy mean, so the Illuminati,

00:00:41--> 00:00:52

Allah subhanho wa Taala, has developed and created within every human being certain characteristics.

00:00:53--> 00:00:58

So you've noticed that, over the past two weeks of Ramadan,

00:00:59--> 00:01:20

there have been so many different characteristics we've covered. Some of these characteristics naturally exists within human beings, from the get go, we already have them, we just have to fine tune them, work on them a little while other characteristics are such that they have to be developed and they actually don't pre exist.

00:01:21--> 00:01:44

Another thing that you notice is that some of these hedonic characteristics involve adding something to your life, while others involve removing something from your life. So distinct may already exist, greed already may exist. How do you get rid of it now? pride already exists, how do I get rid of that pride?

00:01:47--> 00:01:48

Now when we look at the

00:01:50--> 00:02:06

ayah that we're covering today, Allah subhanho wa Taala is praising people. And he's praising people of Paradise praising people agenda. And one of the things that Allah subhanho wa Taala says is well Kaldi mean. And

00:02:08--> 00:02:21

these are people who control their anger. They're able to swallow their anger, not act upon it, not act out of out of line. They don't oppress other people.

00:02:22--> 00:02:23

Now,

00:02:24--> 00:02:32

the mother right, email Mohammed Al ghazali, Rahim, Allah tada he writes, that there are three tears to anger.

00:02:33--> 00:02:46

There is a tear that involves having no anger at all. The second is having way too much anger where it's too frequent, and you can't control it.

00:02:47--> 00:02:51

And the third is anger that is moderate.

00:02:52--> 00:03:39

So the first two are not praiseworthy. And yeah, the first one, which is to not have anger, that isn't praiseworthy, many people would assume and think that having no anger is, you know, that's the goal. No, that's not a goal. There are times where you should be angry, there are times where it's important for you to get angry. Someone comes in, says something foul to your child, to your spouse, to your parent, it's very natural for you to get angry. If someone provokes you, you should get upset. There should be an element of anger there. You know, I'm, I'm Sharia law. huhtala says that whoever is provoked philomela live fahima and that person does not get angry, then they are a

00:03:39--> 00:03:39

donkey.

00:03:41--> 00:03:46

Allah subhanho wa Taala has put that anger in us for a reason it serves a purpose. Now the second

00:03:48--> 00:04:08

is anger and access. Now this can mean one of two things. Either it means that anger comes so frequently it happens very quickly. And the second thing is that when it does come, it's very intense. And it pushes you to act upon it to do something.

00:04:11--> 00:04:41

You get angry frequently, or infrequently. But when you get angry, you end up doing something. Something like you know, pushing someone something like throwing something, something like saying something bad to someone cutting someone out, becoming aggressive, oppressing another person in in some way, shape, or form. Now this is not good. And this is actually the most poisonous of all three. This is like the worst part of them. And because

00:04:42--> 00:04:59

not only are you harming yourself by this anger, but you're bringing harm to other people. And that's something we definitely don't want. We never want to bring harm to another person. People who have excessive anger, uncontrollable anger. They are

00:05:00--> 00:05:42

calamity wherever they go. People are annoyed by them, people are bothered by them. Their family members are intimidated by them. I can't imagine the quality of life for a wife, who is in such a relationship, a husband, who is in a relationship that his wife can't control their anger. I can't imagine the quality of life for a parent whose child keeps losing their anger, or whose for a child whose parent keeps losing their anger. The people that are closest to you are the ones now who are like a sitting bomb that they can explode any moment, rather than enjoying time with them. You'll be constantly wary with your guard up, God knows when this person is going to explode.

00:05:44--> 00:06:12

Control your anger, bring it down, but also the loss of the law while he was so dumb, he said to a companion, he said, the companions that our messenger of Allah advised me oseni Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in response to that he said to him, that Bob, do not become angry, control your anger. It'll bring peace. Now, a few things. Actually, let's cover the third one first.

00:06:13--> 00:06:28

The third level of anger is what we call it, which is moderation. You know when to get angry, and how far to go with it. And you also know when not to get angry, and how to control it.

00:06:30--> 00:06:37

This is the ideal place to be. This is where Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was

00:06:38--> 00:06:43

so the question is didn't abuse it a lot. He was seldom ever get angry in his life.

00:06:45--> 00:06:52

And the clear answer to that is, absolutely. There are many examples of the province that along while it was said, I'm getting angry.

00:06:53--> 00:07:15

Someone oppressed another person who would get angry at the oppressor. Someone violated a command of a law in a way that they should be reprimanded. I sort of lost it along while he was said he was the first in line to reprimand that individual. Sometimes there would be anger. At other time when he was reprimanding them. There would be no anger, depending on who it was and what was going on.

00:07:16--> 00:07:27

Similarly, there were people who wouldn't be so long on he was appointed in the position of leadership. If anyone did something that was

00:07:28--> 00:08:05

inconsiderate of the people that they were supposed to be leading, this would make it a lot harder to set them upset. For example, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam appointed, while the majority along one to lead a group of companions in Arusha, sola, who lived away from the mosque of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. It was difficult for them to come for a shot every day. They lived far they worked hard in the farms all day. So and the result of that while it was said, I'm told him rather than the gemba, to go to that community and lead them, he would pray with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and then go out there and lead them in prayer. One day, he led a very

00:08:05--> 00:08:10

long prayer. He read extra long longer than he normally would.

00:08:11--> 00:08:28

The news reached Rasulullah sallallahu it was said and done live is leading these long prayers and the people in the community are complaining and they're refusing to come to prayer now because this man's reading very long, and it's difficult for them to stand that long after a whole day full of work.

00:08:29--> 00:08:34

They'd be sent along with a with some called law, they've been juggling with your loved one, and he was very upset with him.

00:08:36--> 00:08:41

And he saw someone was very upset with him. And he said to him, a photon ntm was

00:08:42--> 00:09:04

a photon aunty Ahmad Ahmad. are you causing fitna? Are you making some sort of a commotion in the community? Are you bringing difficulty to the people? And then he says Mankato Emma min come for you have if you Sala whoever is appointed as the mom from among you. He should keep the prayer brief. Don't make it too long.

00:09:06--> 00:09:44

But maybe sit alone while he was sometimes angered and not mean that he was abusive with the majority alone. And neither does it mean that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was far behind in communicating how much he loved him. We look at other narrations and see how much they'd be sent along. Why do some care for this young man? How much he took care of him and loved him and kept him close and educated him well law here in a little humbucker Yamaha one time that we said a lot while it was said him said by Allah I love you very dearly Omaha. So that was unquestionable how much it was sort of lost that alone while he was that I'm actually loved While the majority alone.

00:09:46--> 00:09:47

Now

00:09:49--> 00:09:59

there were also examples of companions of abuse that allamani was set on who would get angry and sometimes their anger would push them to say something or do something

00:10:00--> 00:10:08

That was out of line. One example is say that I will book a seducer, the along one great companion loving and dear to Allah.

00:10:09--> 00:10:15

We love it and dear to the Prophet that allowed us to them. But there are so many instances to see that you'll see.

00:10:17--> 00:10:22

your loved one would get angry. When he would get angry. Sometimes he would take a step

00:10:23--> 00:11:05

while acting upon his anger, that at times Lazo agenda would reprimand him. And sometimes maybe so long, while it was set them would reprimand him, because he was so good of a person. So in our view, we have a saying has an outage overall. So you have to know carabin, that sometimes a person is in A League of Their Own basic translation of that is that when a person is in a very high League, and they're in a very unique place, even the small things they do that for other people would be dismissed for this individual, there is accountability because of who they are, how special they are. One person doesn't pray to God son after the her whatever. Another person is an Imam, scholar

00:11:05--> 00:11:14

or Teacher, teacher of how to eat teacher of Quran and they don't pray the tutor god, it's not appropriate, it's not the same, this person should be held to a higher standard.

00:11:16--> 00:11:53

For example, I will because it could be a long one becoming very upset with Mr. or Miss thought was one of the people who was involved in the accusation against each other, the olana he was among the people who slipped and he fell into the group of people who made that false accusation against Chateau de la Hannah, I will because I think of the last one, he got very upset with Miss la when the verses of the Quran were revealed, stating that I shouted the Allahu anhu was innocent. And he became so angry with Muslims that he refused to financially support him again, even though they got the last one did support him prior to the incident of the of the accusation,

00:11:54--> 00:12:39

a loss of words that represents it alone. Similarly, once maybe solomani was cinemas walking past and Nicola one was scolding one of his servants. And his language was very harsh. Maybe you said a lot, he was so upset. I don't know what to do when you use foul language or harsh language. And you are a vocalist. So definitely someone who's truthful, who's praised for his speech, and hear you curse this man, you send Lana upon him, that isn't appropriate. So there are so many examples like this, where the resort allowed is so what educate his companions on fixing their anger and working on it. And I share this because

00:12:40--> 00:12:45

sometimes we feel very distinct from the companions of the Prophet along Islam

00:12:46--> 00:13:37

that they didn't have the challenges that we have. And that's not true. They struggled as human beings like many of us struggle. But the amazing thing about them was their struggles, didn't lead them to be defeatist and to just raise your hand and say I surrender and I'm a loser. That's not what happened with them. Rather, they were able to control their anger, they were able to, you know, hold back the impulse they felt when experiencing anger. Now, how does a person control their anger? So for this thought, Emma has suggested many things, many things are suggested. There are some things they say that can be taken as preventative measures, things that can be done to prevent anger

00:13:37--> 00:13:41

from even settling in or when I say prevent anger from settling in.

00:13:42--> 00:13:54

What I mean is anger that will lead you to harming others or harming yourself. The first thing they say is make dua to Allah and ask a lot to protect you.

00:13:55--> 00:14:34

Just on a normal day today, if you're not experiencing any anger, raise your hands and ask Allah Allah save me from extreme anger. Because if I get caught in one of those moments, what if my marriage ends? What if I hurt someone? What if I hurt myself? A lot, I mean, protect me from anger. The second thing is always remember that Allah subhanho wa Taala is merciful. And Allah subhanho wa Taala is kind and forgiving. And he is kind to us every day. He forgives us every day. How inappropriate would it be that we offload our anger on other people, while Allah subhanho wa Taala is only showing us kindness and mercy.

00:14:36--> 00:14:51

The third thing, Allah they say that when you enter into your home, specifically, you should state out loud Bismillahirrahmanirrahim Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi Dias tada watercare to

00:14:52--> 00:14:59

because by doing this, it'd be so long while he was sitting tells us shaytaan leaves the home and when shaytaan leaves the home

00:15:00--> 00:15:01

The

00:15:03--> 00:15:11

anger that a person experiences will either be less than frequency or more mild in its nature, because shaytaan causes that anger.

00:15:13--> 00:15:16

Number four, control your tongue.

00:15:17--> 00:15:27

Many times you instigate people to make you angry. That's why control your tongue. Even before you get angry, don't say things that will instigate others

00:15:28--> 00:16:14

to make you angry, just control your time from the beginning. Be soft, be easy, be smooth, bring love to people. You know, this is the life of interviews that a lot of so when we look at it, it's beautiful. You know, the art ama, they say that if you decide to use harsh speech with anyone because that person is corrupt or bad or evil, just think of what Allah which is said to Satan, musala, Salam and Harun when they were going to confront around, there's no one out there who was as bad as phenomenons like I killed tons of people he was an oppressor claimed to be God. So he's right up there. And a lot of that is telling Musashi Salaam and Harun that when you go to around and you

00:16:14--> 00:16:21

talk to him for coolala, who olan lejana be soft in your speech with him.

00:16:22--> 00:16:44

If a lifestyle in Busan is to be soft and speech to fit around, and ask yourself, Am I better than Moosa? And is that person worse than fit down? And if the answer is no, get rid of that bad speech, you'll bring a lot more peace to the lives of people. The next thing number five, as as a part of the preventative measures

00:16:45--> 00:16:48

to avoid getting angry.

00:16:51--> 00:16:54

Dalai Lama, they say, it's important to understand

00:16:56--> 00:17:00

that weak people are the ones who usually get angry.

00:17:01--> 00:17:22

It's usually weak people. Kids get angry, sick, people get angry. Someone who's older and age, they get angry. People who are strong, don't get angry. They're able to control their anger. This is what our sutala said a long while he was sitting also said it's a shadow busara

00:17:23--> 00:17:33

toughness is not to throw someone on the ground in the machine either lady, Emily canessa who and a lot of toughness is to control yourself at a time of anger.

00:17:36--> 00:17:47

dorama also right number six, that make it abundantly because it brings peace to the heart. And particularly law he talks about in Hulu.

00:17:49--> 00:18:13

What are some measures that you can take? If you are already angry? you're actively angry at that time. The resort along with it was sort of teaches us to say our other Billahi min ash shaytani r rajim. Number two, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, You know how the hadoken fell? Yes, good. Allah has a lesson that when one of you was angry, he should stay silent.

00:18:15--> 00:18:30

Don't make any important decision when you're angry. Don't do it. Because you might regret it. Probably the last time said that. Jacobian Hackman Bain athenia who have been a judge should not pass a verdict between two people while he is angry.

00:18:32--> 00:18:47

Drink some water or water you know water is a solution for I'm dealing with anger. What is it? What do we mean by water some scholars say do will do some say take a bath Some say drink water. Some have even proposed give water as sadaqa right.

00:18:49--> 00:19:35

Another another solution we see proposed by the sort of loss of a lot ism is to change your physical posture. If you're standing sit down if you're sitting lie down when your anger is done when the anger passes by, some things to do right away. Number one, repair any wrong you did when you were angry. If you harm someone if you said something to someone go back and apologize. Remember to make the offer the person that you were angry at anyone that you would lash out at go and make to offer them maybe salons that have made law in Ottawa, Canada yarwell Masha, Allah, Allah will Russia favor Muslim in serve up to Oh gela to Allah Allah who cafaro this awesome said I'm a human being. I get

00:19:35--> 00:19:59

angry as others get angry. Yeah, anyone that I have shown anger to make that a means of expiation and forgiveness for them. Gifts other call on their behalf anyone that you are angry at what's up on their behalf. And the last thing if your anger is too intense for you to control, and if you notice it's too frequent, it's too frequent. Then consider getting professional help. Reach out to someone

00:20:01--> 00:20:35

Speaking to a therapist, consider the different programs that are out there. Because if it's a part of you and it's if it's something that's harming you and the people around you and you're struggling to get it under control yourself, maybe it's time to reach out to a professional, who pray that Allah subhanaw taala grants him and allows which gives us the strength to face our our our spiritual vices, and really allow us to overcome them so we can do people of the Quran. Also, along with that on s&m Hammad said I'm wanting to light on alberca