Hosai Mojaddidi – . Rania Awaad’s Weekly Friday Evening Halaqa (01.13.23)

Hosai Mojaddidi
AI: Summary ©
The speakers emphasize the importance of considering one's actions and emotions before making a decision and avoiding harms and the negative impact of temperament theory and fear. Consistent parenting and treatment of children, finding something that resonates with them, holding out hands and finding something that can be sustained for long term, and the importance of being outdoors and holding hands for copies. They also suggest bringing copies for the audience with a book on Clear the Path that is a rhyme book on manners for young children and a book on Clear the Path that is a rhyme book on manners for little Muslims.
AI: Transcript ©
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Welcome everyone.

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Smith, Haman hamdulillah salat wa salam ala Ashraf, an MBA will not

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sit here and say then our Modena Why have you been on Muhammad

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sallallahu alayhi wa sallam while he was on the stream and cathedra

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shall we're going to begin with the recitation of Surah Mulk and

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then we have Vicki, and then inshallah we will begin the Talk

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for tonight to Dr. H Hall will be here next week. So if you want to

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quickly grab almost half you can do that from the masjid or if you

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have your phone app, or if you haven't memorized even better

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mashallah, but there's still great reward even if you have it

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memorized to read because you'll get double the reward or triple

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reading and listening.

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And reciting alright

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all the bIllahi min a ship on ergy Bismillah hair wash man or washi

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there they are rockin lady we are the hill mole Kuwahara coalition

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in call the lady Hanukkah Lima hooter. Well hired any Balu

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welcome a Yukon X and Y mela well one i z is one of our for a lady

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Hanukkah savasana wet in the back or Mata Rafi Hanukkah rush man

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even tougher would follow jalebis or a hunter on in for to some

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Murgia idol Dasara Caratini quite a bit illegal pasado hacia I'm

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Wahoo hassy Here, one aka the Xanana Sun dune dunya be Masabi

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what Johanna Raju militia out we What are other than Allah Houma

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hyva Bus ie

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what in Ludhiana kefir Obiora be him either Bucha hon Nemo a bit

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said mostly either will know Kofi has any rule or hash or he were

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here to for the Academy assuming he could Lana will pay a fee half

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khazana to her LM yet SQL NaVi God who better further agenda Nana the

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fake as well calling them as law man as Allah Allah whom she in

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turn it left feeling Ebola al in Kenya he will call Rollo can us

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now oh now Pedro McQuinn Nafi has finally said

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about the rough will be them be him for us. This

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in Nalina Yaksha on our home Lenovo. He betta home Mahavira

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KB

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what a Scirocco hula come I was in her room in Navajo Holly be that

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is sudo

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moment who will not be full for these who will reach a higher

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level

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of value from Shui monarchy Hello Kulu mele respect what you lay in

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no shoe. I mean to my summer EEOC Furby como Arruda either here or

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excuse me I'm in tomorrow this summer a Euro Sara Ali Khan house

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facilitator facilitator Isla Monica que even heavy well,

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because they're learning I mean poverty him fakie if I can and I

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can use our me auto play the Felco home saw Fatima Jakob. When a

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young Seco one

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man in a hoodie equally che in both of these men has a lovely

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word.

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Young Sudoku. Do never wash man. In any case, if you don't want to

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interfere with

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Manhattan the arrows have come in sechrest but laju fee or two will

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104 FM am Shimokita Benalla was a he

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made them she so we and allows rotting Misaki Kahlua Ludy

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come What's your hola como sama I will have a foreigner will have

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either poly matter screw or who will know

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or the conflict of the word la he Sharon, where Coruna matter has

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allowed to

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call in normalize the law he were in Elena de are moving

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from Mara. Oh,

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see I told you we're living in a Kaffir Rokita had a lady

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continuing to eat at their home

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in LA can hear Allahu Maga Oh, Rahim and as I mean your Giro

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caffeine have been has been Addy was whoever man who am and maybe

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he you ollie he taught Kelowna facilita Ala Moana man who field

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whatever the movie called are a Tom in US Bahama

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from a year it can be in my soda cola on Halloween. So we'll do

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each the good seven times I believe in Sharla so I'll be la

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Himalaya chef on ergy Bismillah Hawa man are watching.

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However there are core to 11 helali and all the

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however Quwata illa Billah halali and all being

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hola Quwata illa Billah halali and all being

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held or whatever Quwata illa Billahi, Lolly and all the

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hula Quwata Ellerbee Lahaina, Holly and all the name

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Hello Nevada Quwata illa Billahi Lolly and all lame.

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Whatever La Quwata illa biLlah Hara Ali Robbie

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has feel love when the Milwaukee net Melly Mola when it Manasi has

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feel low in Milwaukee netmail Mola when a man knows he has to be a

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wahoo and that Milwaukee men know when the man knows he has to be a

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love when that Milwaukee netmail Mola when a man knows he has to be

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a loved one that Milwaukee man Mola one man Nasi has been a loved

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one at my work he'll Manola one man Nasi. haspiel Wahoo and

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Milwaukee net millimolar when that man Nasi

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Yeah, hey, you ERP your bureau of medical history that is

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how you carry your own Bureau of Medical History The other

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HeyYou ERP, your bureau of medical history

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Yeah, how you ERP your bureau of medical illness stuff.

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Yeah, hey, you ERP your bureau of medical stuff.

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Yeah, hey, yo, creo que yo Bureau medic NSW.

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Yeah, hey, you ya que yo mbira medic NSW to a listener.

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Ila in Illa Illa. Anta Subhanak in equal to middle volume in the

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ilaha illa and Subhanak. In the consuming of body Nene. ilaha illa

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Anta Subhanak in equal to middle body mean? The ilaha illa Anta

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Subhanak in the consuming of body mean

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ilaha illa and the Sapan occur in equal Tumino body mean? Le ilaha

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illa Anta Subhana que in equals two minute volume in the ilaha

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illa and the Subhanak in equal Tumino body mean?

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Salah mukha hula Mirova Rahim. Salam o Allah Mirova Rahim. Salam

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Kovalam Mirova Rahim, salam, Murat Beerwah he said Mukalla Middlewood

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Bill Rahim. Salah

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Rahim Sena.

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Murad Bill working laser Aloha Dooney law he can Shiva laser

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humming Dooney la HCA Sheikha laser la Hamming Dooney la he can

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Shiva laser humming Dawn Illa he goes Shiva Lee Salah Hermione

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Allah He goes Shiva Lee Salah humming Dawn Allah Hagar Shiva

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Lisa La Herman door

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Nilda hicare Shiva Lisa Hamming Dooney Allah He can Shiva

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Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik ala se then our Mola now Mohamed

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Allahumma Salli wa Sallim wa Barik Al Asad and our Maulana Muhammad

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Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik ala se then our Mola and I'm

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Mohamed Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik ala se then our Maulana

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Muhammad Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik ala Sayidina Muhammad

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Allahumma salli wa salam ala Ricard. Let's say that I want to

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learn how Muhammad Allahumma Salli wa Sallim wa Barik I'll say that I

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want to learn how Mohammed Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik

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ala se then our Mola now Muhammad

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Muhammad.

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Mashallah, Charlotte, so I want to go

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so, for those who

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remember the last two times I came, I said we'd be reading from

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the Content of Character. Does anyone have the book with them?

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Right, that's okay. Mashallah. So the Content of Character is a

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collection of Hadith from the prophesy setup.

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That was actually put together by a chef, el Amin Elmas Rui, and she

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comes a use of translated these Hadith into English for US English

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speaking community, but hamdulillah he's also provided the

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Arabic so if you wanted to learn or memorize the Hadith, they have

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both the Arabic and English and I think it's a really great

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collection. It's about character development. So a lot of teachers

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use this just for, you know, their own students, but also, it's a

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good gift for, you know, Congressi that there's a lot of non Muslims

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who, who've used this as a collection just to defer to or to

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talk, you know, to teach from so.

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Sorry, just give me a moment so I can pull up my slides here

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are my own notes here. Okay, so, the Hadith that we covered, I said

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that inshallah anytime I'm asked to substitute for Dr. Rania, may

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Allah bless her and continue to give her Sofia mict offer, she

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returned safely from her trip, that I would try to do a text with

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you guys just so that we feel you know, like, we're doing something

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that has continuity. So Inshallah, if you don't have this book, I do

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recommend getting it, but they haven't out of print, so you might

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want to check, they're supposed to be reprinting it soon. So

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inshallah it will be available soon. But that word by the end of

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you know, however many substitutions I do, will have,

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hopefully finish this text inshallah. But we left off on

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Hadith number two, so there's quite a few of them. So we have a

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long way to go before that, but 100 left. So the Hadith that I

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wanted to start off with today is

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I'll read it for you here honest with Allah He sallallahu alayhi wa

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sallam or at any minute Allah with Abdullah ministry upon and this is

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reported reported, excuse me in obey happy the collection of obey

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happy. Anybody know what this hadith is? Raise your hand if

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you're familiar with this hadith.

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Good Marsh, if you speak Arabic, you might have put it together

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because it's a short Hadith. But this is a very, very important

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Hadith somehow, I mean, all the Hadith are important. But the

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message here is so essential for us in this modern world, but its

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consideration is from God, and haste is from the devil. Right?

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So, again, it's such a short, concise Hadith, that you have to

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really think about the wisdom in this.

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In the words here, because when we talk about what is consideration,

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right, what is consideration, and what is haste, and how they're so

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far apart from each other, when you are considering doing

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something, what are you doing? What is the activity?

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Is it a? Is it a thing that you're doing with your physical body, or

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another part of you, when you're considering something?

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Your mind, right, you're using

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your intellect, you're using reasoning. So, when you are

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weighing a decision before you spring into action, you are using

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the faculty. That is what differentiates us between every

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other of Allah's creation is the highest part of our form, right?

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The the part of our creation, our intellect, so you are actually

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pausing and you're weighing and you're thinking about the

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consequences of your actions. Like you're thinking about whether or

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not you're seeking immediate gratification, or is there wisdom

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is there, maybe wisdom and waiting to act, you're you're doing all of

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that in that activity of considering right? Whereas the

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opposite of that is when we go into rush decisions, right? We're

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impulsive. So if you think of

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Again, that we are, when we are

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processing and we're actually thinking about our choices, what

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kind of mindfulness and presence a person has to have to get there,

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you can see why it's considered from a gift from Allah subhanaw

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taala. Right, to be able to use wisdom, right to be able to be

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judicious in your decisions before you go into action is a gift from

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Allah subhanaw taala. And if you think about the world, currently,

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and some of the ways that maybe we have witnessed, you know, people

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behaving around us whether in our own personal lives, or around us,

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you can see that there's not a lot of reasoning happening, right? A

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lot of people are not using their intellect, what are they using

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instead of their intellect? What is it? What is? What are the other

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parts of our creation that compel us? If it's not our mind,

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informing us about something? What other drives do we have?

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Emotions, very good. Emotions, passions, desires, right? So I may

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have shared this with you last time, but it's just something you

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should know, especially if you're a parent or a teacher, just for

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your own knowledge. To refer to that, you know, it's something

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that we get from Imam Al Ghazali, and others even before him, but he

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really brought it to our, in our tradition, was the idea that we

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have three parts to us, right, we have a doctrine, that helps us to

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reason, then we have the heart where our emotions are centered.

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And this is what, you know, many of us, when we are acting, yes, we

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act on our emotions, right? We're not always thinking, rash

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decisions, or just emotional decisions. Or if we're not doing

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that, then the other part of us is the appetites, desires that fuel

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us, right. So he helped us to understand that in order for you

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to really have control, you have to see yourself or your intellect

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as the driver of these other two forces, right. And he gave us

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analogies to understand the other two forces. So the emotions, he

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gave the analogy of the hunting dog, right, which is trained, so

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your emotions have to be trained, you can't just feel everything all

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the time, you have to know what to feel in its appropriate time and

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context. And if you don't learn that, right, you you become a

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dysregulated person, you're not a person that's feeling according to

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an intellectual or even, you know, not quote, unquote, normal

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process, there's something else affecting your emotions, right? If

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you don't learn to do that. So the hunting dog is a really good

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analogy, because, again, it puts you back in charge that you have

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to learn how to control yourself. And this is what we see in this

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society. A lot of people have very little control of themselves. You

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know, they get angry over the smallest thing. You know, I'm sure

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you've seen these videos that are just coming out almost daily, of

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someone who's, who didn't get their order, right at a

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restaurant, right? And what happens here, like what, you know,

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they they'll throw the food back in the server's face. That is not

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that person has no, you know, rational. I mean, they're not in a

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rational state. They're a highly emotional state, they do not have

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control their emotions or road rage, right? How many of you have

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experienced road rage being run off the road? Like, I can't even

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count how many times in my own life, I've experienced people that

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I'm like, law held on up within me that like, what did I do to you?

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Right? That they are ready to basically kill me and my children

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in the car. Like I remember one. Man out of the villa here, it was

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huge monster trucks, you know, like those massive trucks with the

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wheels that are like higher than most cars. And I don't know what

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he was doing with that truck on a regular city road. But anyway, he

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just came from behind so fast toward my car. And I got so scared

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because you know, I'm looking in the rearview mirror and seeing

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this car just accelerating very high at a light. So I'm, like, so

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scared, and I veered to the side of the road, because I don't know

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what he's gonna do. He's gonna ram his car into me. And I think no, I

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think I went into the other. I don't know what I did. I swerved

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somehow. And then he came. Yeah, he came to my right to the right

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side of me. And he was just so angry and yelling, and he started,

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you know, cursing and a lot of Islamophobic, let's say, terms,

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and I was like, where did you even see me? Nothing, too. I didn't. I

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didn't. I didn't see him before. I don't know what happened. But

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anyway, he was so enraged. And I was just like, it was like a

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shaytaan. Like, just driving that car was not a human being the way

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that he was looking at me. And I was like, I have kids in the car.

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My kids were very small. So I was so scared that he was going to try

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to crash into my car with his monster truck. So there are people

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like that who just do not have any regulation of their emotion and we

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may interact with them every day, which is why I mean, this is just

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a side note.

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But, you know, the world is a place where imminent danger is all

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around us. So if you're not doing your prayers, you're not doing

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you're Elrod. And seeking Allah's protection, you are in a way

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putting yourself in harm's way. We have a dean that is always, you

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know, it's a protective Dean, everything that we do is, you

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know, to is pre empting some form of danger, right? We're taught

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that so our will do our prayers, all of our ADA is to put us in a

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state of, you know, protection with Allah subhanaw taala. So, if

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you're leaving the house, especially in this weather, like

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the rain, we're here in California, the rain is so bad.

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You want to be very careful. Be very careful, please, do your

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prayers. Do your Elrod, make your DUA of getting into the car know

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these things. And if you don't know them, memorize them, learn

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them, write them down, put it on your phone, so that you remind

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yourself but don't take these things for granted. Or, or forget

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that they were given to us as a means for us to protect ourselves,

00:21:00 --> 00:21:05

right? So emotions, right if we don't learn to control them are

00:21:05 --> 00:21:12

like a dog that's gone. Rabid rabid dogs are very dangerous.

00:21:12 --> 00:21:14

Rabies, by the way is one of the most dangerous things God protect

00:21:14 --> 00:21:18

all of us from rabies. You can't survive rabies, if you don't get

00:21:18 --> 00:21:22

treatment within a certain window, although it's not curable. Anyway,

00:21:22 --> 00:21:25

that's just something that I always think about because, you

00:21:25 --> 00:21:28

know, there's animals that are, you never know. But anyway, a

00:21:28 --> 00:21:33

rabid dog is what you have you're working with when you don't work

00:21:33 --> 00:21:36

on regulating your emotions. And so then there's that analogy he

00:21:36 --> 00:21:40

gives us your moment of Azadi Rahim Allah. And then he tells us

00:21:40 --> 00:21:43

that the other part of us is our appetite. So our stomach and our

00:21:43 --> 00:21:48

private parts right, are governed by you know, this is where lust

00:21:48 --> 00:21:52

and desire have to be contained. And the analogy he gives us

00:21:52 --> 00:21:54

anybody remember? So no, I feel like I shared this with you last

00:21:54 --> 00:21:57

time. Let's see who's who's paying attention. Does anybody remember?

00:21:58 --> 00:22:04

What animal he associated with the appetites? Think about? What

00:22:04 --> 00:22:08

animal do you think of that has no control of their appetites? Very

00:22:08 --> 00:22:12

good. A Pic. Right? Pigs, we know pigs will eat anything. They'll

00:22:12 --> 00:22:16

eat everything and anything. They're pretty unhinged animal. So

00:22:16 --> 00:22:22

algebra from ever having being being enslaved by your desire to

00:22:22 --> 00:22:25

the point that you behave the way a pig would. But this is what we

00:22:25 --> 00:22:28

are taught. It's a very simple system that even children can

00:22:28 --> 00:22:31

understand if you teach them that you don't want to be. And you can

00:22:31 --> 00:22:35

use this language, you don't want to be a dog person. You don't want

00:22:35 --> 00:22:39

to be a pig person. You want to be a human being, right? Dog people

00:22:39 --> 00:22:41

and pig people get themselves in trouble a lot. They're highly

00:22:41 --> 00:22:44

reactive people. There are people that are triggered easily. They're

00:22:44 --> 00:22:49

people who have no control of themselves. Our Deen teaches us to

00:22:49 --> 00:22:53

not be that way. And the way that we do it is encapsulated in this

00:22:53 --> 00:22:58

beautiful, concise Hadith. Consideration is from Allah think,

00:22:58 --> 00:23:02

before you speak. Think before you act,

00:23:03 --> 00:23:07

think before you make major decisions in your life.

00:23:08 --> 00:23:13

Because the consequences of those decisions, of course, are only

00:23:13 --> 00:23:17

known to Allah. But if you're not carefully thinking about your

00:23:17 --> 00:23:21

decisions and choices, in words, you may suffer the consequences.

00:23:22 --> 00:23:25

But if you do that, you know. And I mean, a good analogy, for

00:23:25 --> 00:23:28

example, you know, again, in this day and age,

00:23:30 --> 00:23:35

how a good example of how emotions or lust can overcome people is

00:23:35 --> 00:23:41

with marriage. Many people get into a marital car situation, not

00:23:41 --> 00:23:46

really thinking through whether or not the person is going to make a

00:23:46 --> 00:23:50

good partner for life. Right? They're acting on fear sometimes,

00:23:51 --> 00:23:55

right? If you are a certain age, or maybe there's pressure mounting

00:23:55 --> 00:23:57

from different directions, you might feel like oh my god, if I

00:23:57 --> 00:24:00

don't get married soon, I'm gonna blow it. This is my last shot. I

00:24:00 --> 00:24:04

gotta take this opportunity. So there may be a fear that compels

00:24:04 --> 00:24:08

you, or it could be desire, right? Some people are so overwhelmed

00:24:08 --> 00:24:14

with the desire for marriage, a desire for the status of being

00:24:14 --> 00:24:20

married a desire for the wedding. Right? We want that big wedding

00:24:20 --> 00:24:24

and the celebrations are getting bigger and bigger all the time.

00:24:24 --> 00:24:27

Right? I just saw a video the other day of it was like a

00:24:29 --> 00:24:32

lot of people you know, you can do as they wish with their wealth,

00:24:32 --> 00:24:36

but I was like, wow, she the bride came in and like this massive,

00:24:37 --> 00:24:41

built like chariot. Like it was just a really big, big thing and

00:24:41 --> 00:24:43

she's just sitting there by herself and

00:24:44 --> 00:24:48

it's really wedding day. But I feel like the pressure to go big

00:24:48 --> 00:24:52

is just so it's just increasing. I feel like everybody's trying to

00:24:52 --> 00:24:56

one up the wedding of the year than the year before. I got we got

00:24:56 --> 00:24:59

to do this. We got to do that. So anyway, the wedding becomes

00:25:00 --> 00:25:04

preoccupation. So that desire for that, well, maybe it's just lust,

00:25:04 --> 00:25:08

or, you know, that's a human impulse. Some people just expedite

00:25:08 --> 00:25:12

or rush the process because they want to get to that part of it, or

00:25:12 --> 00:25:15

children, some people don't even really care for the marriage very

00:25:15 --> 00:25:18

much, they just can't wait to have a baby, right and have that

00:25:18 --> 00:25:22

status. So those were all beautiful in and of themselves,

00:25:22 --> 00:25:26

desires and virtues. were allowed to want relationships and

00:25:26 --> 00:25:30

companionship, but if you are, I say, this is a word of caution to

00:25:30 --> 00:25:35

anybody who's single and looking. If you see clear red flags, right,

00:25:35 --> 00:25:40

in the courtship phase, like undeniable red flags, or your

00:25:40 --> 00:25:44

family is pointing out to you very serious concerns, or your friends,

00:25:45 --> 00:25:51

please weigh those things heavily. Don't let the fear of not being

00:25:51 --> 00:25:54

married, or the desire to be married or have something from

00:25:54 --> 00:25:59

that marriage overwhelm your rational mind. Because I'll tell

00:25:59 --> 00:26:01

you, as someone who works with couples,

00:26:02 --> 00:26:05

and has for a long time on the other side, when they come because

00:26:05 --> 00:26:09

they're on the verge of divorce. You know, some some of them, you

00:26:09 --> 00:26:12

know, a few years into the marriage, some of them 1015 20

00:26:12 --> 00:26:16

years into the marriage, right. And they need help. They have been

00:26:16 --> 00:26:19

fighting the entire marriage, a lot of things have come up.

00:26:21 --> 00:26:25

Almost every single time I will ask them, one or both of them.

00:26:25 --> 00:26:30

Were there any red flags? Like before? Right? Did you notice

00:26:30 --> 00:26:35

anything? With any of these concerns brought up to you? Almost

00:26:35 --> 00:26:40

every single time? Yeah, I had, I had a gut feeling or I had some

00:26:40 --> 00:26:45

people, you know, I had people warning me, like directly don't

00:26:45 --> 00:26:48

marry this person. I had my parents really against it,

00:26:48 --> 00:26:52

whatever the case was, there was always warnings. But the

00:26:52 --> 00:26:56

individual, again, maybe compelled by different force went with it.

00:26:56 --> 00:26:59

And if you did your istikhara, by the way, because this is a point

00:26:59 --> 00:27:03

of confusion for a lot of people, they think well, okay, so I'm

00:27:03 --> 00:27:07

confused. I want this. I'm not sure. I'm going back and forth.

00:27:07 --> 00:27:08

But then I do is the harder, right?

00:27:10 --> 00:27:13

A lot of people I mean, I've had this question. If I do this, the

00:27:13 --> 00:27:15

harder and then I am in a relationship with someone it

00:27:15 --> 00:27:18

doesn't work out. And what does that mean? I did the Sahara,

00:27:18 --> 00:27:22

right. So this can cause a lot of like confusion for people. But if

00:27:22 --> 00:27:27

you pay attention, what are we asking in the esta hora? What is

00:27:27 --> 00:27:28

the DW are explicitly asking?

00:27:32 --> 00:27:37

Exactly if it is good, if it is hired for me, right? Make it

00:27:37 --> 00:27:41

happen. The words of istikhara are not If this marriage is going to

00:27:41 --> 00:27:44

be a honeymoon like a fairytale marriage and everything is

00:27:44 --> 00:27:49

perfect, right? Make it happen, if it's good for me. And goodness for

00:27:49 --> 00:27:54

us, by the way can come through tribulation, you can be tested.

00:27:55 --> 00:28:00

Right in a marriage. But it is actually good for you. Because you

00:28:00 --> 00:28:03

become closer to your Lord, your

00:28:04 --> 00:28:11

expectations of this dunya start to to wane, you don't have the

00:28:11 --> 00:28:15

same attachments. And what that does is it makes you look to the

00:28:15 --> 00:28:19

asset. So you start to increase in your desire for the other world

00:28:19 --> 00:28:22

because your current circumstances are very difficult. And I know

00:28:22 --> 00:28:24

there are many people maybe even in this room right now who are not

00:28:24 --> 00:28:28

in very good relationships. But they're maintaining that

00:28:28 --> 00:28:32

relationship maybe for the sake of their children, maybe for the sake

00:28:32 --> 00:28:35

of their elderly parents, maybe for the sake of their family. You

00:28:35 --> 00:28:38

know, you're when you're married, between families, you don't want

00:28:38 --> 00:28:42

to you know, break that down. So whatever the sacrifices, they're

00:28:42 --> 00:28:46

making the sacrifice. But if you were to really ask them, you know,

00:28:46 --> 00:28:48

if there was a door out?

00:28:50 --> 00:28:53

You know, there always is, obviously we all have choices that

00:28:53 --> 00:28:57

we can leave anytime we want. Why do they stay, because they have

00:28:57 --> 00:29:03

found some peace, even though that situation may be difficult,

00:29:03 --> 00:29:06

sometimes there's something that keeps them staying, you know, and

00:29:06 --> 00:29:09

I'm not talking about abusive relationships, I'm talking about

00:29:09 --> 00:29:11

where there's just a disconnect, or is incompatibility, whatever

00:29:11 --> 00:29:16

the case is, but they're making the choice because they've come to

00:29:16 --> 00:29:20

peace with it. So that's just to answer that question. Because if

00:29:20 --> 00:29:23

you've ever thought that well shouldn't use the Hata V like full

00:29:23 --> 00:29:24

failproof

00:29:25 --> 00:29:29

or depends on what your definition is, you know, if you've come out

00:29:29 --> 00:29:33

of a really difficult situation, having made us to Hana prior to

00:29:33 --> 00:29:36

that, but your resolve is stronger, your faith is stronger

00:29:37 --> 00:29:40

inshallah than it was fair for you, wasn't it? So it's not always

00:29:40 --> 00:29:42

so black and white basically. But

00:29:43 --> 00:29:46

again, going back to this simplicity, and also the

00:29:46 --> 00:29:48

complexity of this hadith, right consideration is from God and

00:29:48 --> 00:29:50

haces from the devil.

00:29:51 --> 00:29:55

The shaytaan knows that when he can put us into an emotional or

00:29:55 --> 00:29:59

desire state. We're not going to use ration rationale right?

00:30:00 --> 00:30:05

so he can push us into dangerous things. And that's why he will,

00:30:05 --> 00:30:10

you know, Rush people into decisions all the time. So this is

00:30:10 --> 00:30:14

something that we really have to work on ourselves whether it's,

00:30:14 --> 00:30:19

you know, and by the way, if you do the research, impulsivity, as a

00:30:19 --> 00:30:24

trait is actually connected with a lot of mental health issues, it is

00:30:24 --> 00:30:29

not a good trait to have. So when you look at virtue, from our

00:30:29 --> 00:30:33

faith, defined through this one, this as well as many other

00:30:33 --> 00:30:37

qualities, prophetic qualities, a lot of them do kind of start to

00:30:37 --> 00:30:41

paint the picture of a person who is very stable, right? To Be

00:30:41 --> 00:30:46

patient, to have forbearance, right is a person who's stable,

00:30:46 --> 00:30:51

that means that they've trained their dog, and they're not at the

00:30:51 --> 00:30:55

command of their pig, right? They are in control, they are the

00:30:55 --> 00:30:56

driver

00:30:57 --> 00:31:02

of their vehicle themselves. And so they have that stability that

00:31:02 --> 00:31:08

is very, again, you can you know, anybody who is practicing, these

00:31:08 --> 00:31:11

prophetic qualities are working on themselves, they will start to

00:31:11 --> 00:31:16

look very similar to other people who are doing the same. But so

00:31:16 --> 00:31:19

again, the opposite is true that when you see people who do not

00:31:19 --> 00:31:23

have God in their life, or don't really think about consequences,

00:31:23 --> 00:31:27

they're just compelled by other forces, they're actually under the

00:31:27 --> 00:31:31

spell of shaitan. And that's really what he can do. All he can

00:31:31 --> 00:31:35

do is compel us through WESA right, he's the uswest. He's the

00:31:35 --> 00:31:40

one who comes and suggests constantly suggests. So

00:31:41 --> 00:31:46

this is where again, you have to, you know, ask yourself, How does

00:31:46 --> 00:31:50

this differ? Where am I on the spectrum of this hadith? Am I

00:31:50 --> 00:31:56

someone that really chooses my words carefully? Right? Am I a

00:31:56 --> 00:32:03

person who lets my body like become, you know, a force that is

00:32:04 --> 00:32:07

dangerous, because if, for example, you're around young

00:32:07 --> 00:32:11

children, and you don't have control over yourself, and you,

00:32:11 --> 00:32:14

you know, all the other people in our community, we have to just

00:32:14 --> 00:32:19

accept that this is their style of parenting, they lash out, they may

00:32:19 --> 00:32:21

even strike their children,

00:32:22 --> 00:32:25

because they don't have control of their own emotions. And this would

00:32:25 --> 00:32:29

be a good opportunity for you to think about that behavior in this

00:32:29 --> 00:32:35

context, that I am allowing shaytaan to influence me in my

00:32:35 --> 00:32:39

home. And the home is supposed to be a place of, you know, Sakina,

00:32:39 --> 00:32:43

tranquillity safety, it's supposed to be a place of safety. So if you

00:32:43 --> 00:32:47

now have let your emotions become so and I want to be clear, this

00:32:47 --> 00:32:52

isn't to find fault, because a lot of women, we are not in very

00:32:52 --> 00:32:56

healthy circumstances, when it comes to parenting. We don't have

00:32:56 --> 00:32:59

support, a lot of women don't have support, and especially as a new

00:32:59 --> 00:33:04

new mothers, I think it's one of the tragedies of our of our era

00:33:04 --> 00:33:08

that we're so disconnected from family and from the village model,

00:33:08 --> 00:33:12

that everybody's struggling in their own homes. And it's like a

00:33:12 --> 00:33:18

24 hour just never ending loop of giving and giving and giving with

00:33:18 --> 00:33:21

very little support sometimes because, you know, again, we're in

00:33:21 --> 00:33:21

California,

00:33:23 --> 00:33:26

I'm sure in other parts, it's the same, but the pressure of trying

00:33:26 --> 00:33:30

to make it and survive when you need double incomes. And you know,

00:33:30 --> 00:33:34

husband is out wife is home, or maybe it's swamped. Whatever it

00:33:34 --> 00:33:40

is, without adequate support, we tend to, you know, fall apart in a

00:33:40 --> 00:33:42

way, but it's it should be

00:33:43 --> 00:33:48

a call or should raise an alarm within you that if you start to

00:33:48 --> 00:33:52

see these patterns, or I mean, I've been presented with, you

00:33:52 --> 00:33:55

know, parents who don't know what to do, because now they're there,

00:33:55 --> 00:33:59

their lack of control is now affecting their children. So now

00:33:59 --> 00:34:02

they have their children striking each other and, you know, becoming

00:34:03 --> 00:34:06

now it's a it's something that they model, right, they're

00:34:06 --> 00:34:08

learning so they're doing it now and now. It's like everybody,

00:34:08 --> 00:34:12

there's a lot of tension and anger and everybody's dysregulated and

00:34:12 --> 00:34:16

what do I do? We have to go back to our deen and, you know, seek

00:34:16 --> 00:34:21

advice. seek advice, seek support. If you feel like you can't manage

00:34:21 --> 00:34:25

your emotions, please, please for the sake of your faith for the

00:34:25 --> 00:34:28

sake of your own soul for the sake of your children and their safety

00:34:28 --> 00:34:34

and protection. Please don't let shutdown continue to wear you down

00:34:34 --> 00:34:37

because the result of that is something that's so tragic, but

00:34:37 --> 00:34:40

we've seen it even in our own communities. Unfortunately, where

00:34:41 --> 00:34:45

people have been so worn down that they eventually fall into things

00:34:45 --> 00:34:48

like the crimes of passion, right crimes of passion are very real.

00:34:49 --> 00:34:53

Right where a person in a single moment they had no control of

00:34:53 --> 00:34:56

themselves, and then they did something that is irreversible.

00:34:57 --> 00:35:00

It's irreparable damage. It's harm that can never be

00:35:00 --> 00:35:06

Taken aback. And this is the result of not seeking support or

00:35:06 --> 00:35:11

really realizing that this isn't something that I should allow to,

00:35:11 --> 00:35:15

to just, you know, continue as soon as you see behavior that is

00:35:15 --> 00:35:18

against our faith, right striking of a child, for example is haram.

00:35:18 --> 00:35:21

You don't, you cannot strike children. They're vulnerable,

00:35:21 --> 00:35:24

they're innocent. And no matter what you are exposed to as a

00:35:24 --> 00:35:28

child, or what culture you come from, or what parenting style

00:35:28 --> 00:35:31

you've seen, if you've received the message that it's okay to

00:35:31 --> 00:35:37

physically harm a child, you have been misguided 100%. And you are

00:35:37 --> 00:35:42

on a very dangerous track. So make Toba ask Allah to forgive you, and

00:35:42 --> 00:35:47

seek help go into anger management, but do not just suck

00:35:47 --> 00:35:51

it up to on stress. And they're annoying children. Children are

00:35:51 --> 00:35:55

children, they're innocent. They're in a beautiful time of

00:35:55 --> 00:35:59

their life that they're so they're in fitrah, they're in a time where

00:35:59 --> 00:36:04

they they're not aware of all the insanity of the dunya. And

00:36:04 --> 00:36:08

sometimes they may do things without any ill intention. But our

00:36:08 --> 00:36:10

reaction to that is so

00:36:11 --> 00:36:15

you know, intense, and we forget that they are not, you know,

00:36:15 --> 00:36:18

they're not held accountable by a law for anything. They're

00:36:18 --> 00:36:22

innocent. But we can sometimes lash out. So you want to really

00:36:22 --> 00:36:26

think about this hadith in all the different contexts that it can

00:36:26 --> 00:36:30

play out. But if you're generally a person who's even keeled, who's

00:36:30 --> 00:36:35

tempered, who thinks before they act Alhamdulillah, that's a huge

00:36:35 --> 00:36:38

blessing. And this is where temperament theory can also be

00:36:38 --> 00:36:42

very helpful, because highly reactive temperaments have have

00:36:42 --> 00:36:46

an, you know, have a struggle in this area, we're very fiery

00:36:46 --> 00:36:50

people, right? If you're a fiery person, you just, you know,

00:36:50 --> 00:36:52

someone says something to you, and you're just like, well, you know,

00:36:54 --> 00:36:57

I'm sure we've all maybe made that mistake with certain people,

00:36:57 --> 00:37:00

right? Because you can that that can come in certain relationships.

00:37:00 --> 00:37:03

So if you're married, and you just like, have a tongue that just

00:37:03 --> 00:37:06

snaps back really quickly, as soon as your husband says something to

00:37:06 --> 00:37:11

you. Right? You don't let it go. And some of us, you know, we get

00:37:11 --> 00:37:17

sharper and sharper as the years go by. Right? But you want to be

00:37:17 --> 00:37:20

very careful, because sometimes, you know,

00:37:22 --> 00:37:26

again, depending on the situation, depending on what the context is,

00:37:27 --> 00:37:32

it might be teasing. It might be just, you know, banter. But other

00:37:32 --> 00:37:39

times, if there's ego, there's a desire to just, you know, cut, cut

00:37:39 --> 00:37:43

them down, right? We want to think about the consequences of these

00:37:43 --> 00:37:48

things, right? Because the tongue is one of the main reasons why

00:37:48 --> 00:37:52

people are punished in the hellfire. Our tongues get us in a

00:37:52 --> 00:37:57

lot of trouble. And we don't think it we don't think of a moment of

00:37:57 --> 00:38:03

just snappy, you know, ness, or, you know, some rude remark as

00:38:03 --> 00:38:05

being heavy, but in the scales of almost positive, they're very

00:38:05 --> 00:38:10

heavy. They're very heavy. So that's why if you have this

00:38:10 --> 00:38:16

problem of just fiery reactivity, no consideration of what comes off

00:38:16 --> 00:38:20

your tongue make Toba and ask why Allah make me of those people who

00:38:20 --> 00:38:25

think before I speak, even if I'm being incited, even if I'm being

00:38:25 --> 00:38:28

provoked, right? Because sometimes people know how to push your

00:38:28 --> 00:38:31

buttons. But I'll tell you and I say this to my husband all the

00:38:31 --> 00:38:35

time. Like Subhanallah nobody on the planet, nobody on the planet

00:38:35 --> 00:38:38

can push my buttons like you nobody. Like I've said that to

00:38:38 --> 00:38:42

him. It's true. Or Hola, he it's true. And he knows it because he

00:38:42 --> 00:38:45

knows exactly how to say something in the in the tone because he's a

00:38:45 --> 00:38:50

very, he's a man of few words. So he's not like he's saying things

00:38:50 --> 00:38:53

all the time. But he knows how to say something that just cuts so

00:38:53 --> 00:38:58

deep. And I'm like, subhanAllah what a test because most people

00:38:58 --> 00:39:01

can't get under my skin like he does. Like I can. I've heard a lot

00:39:01 --> 00:39:04

of things in my life. And I'm like, you know, I can handle that

00:39:04 --> 00:39:08

handle it. But no, if he says it's just a different degree. So

00:39:08 --> 00:39:11

sometimes a lot puts people in your life to test your patience,

00:39:11 --> 00:39:15

right? So over the over the years, you just have to start realizing

00:39:15 --> 00:39:18

like that's why you're you know, I have this relationship with you

00:39:18 --> 00:39:22

because I meant to evolve I meant to better myself, I meant to start

00:39:22 --> 00:39:26

putting faith into practice right? And being more mindful and

00:39:26 --> 00:39:30

catching myself in those enough states. You know, when I know I

00:39:30 --> 00:39:34

have a really good comeback, but I say no, I'm gonna hold my tongue.

00:39:35 --> 00:39:38

For the sake of Allah I have the best comeback. Oh, I could reduce

00:39:38 --> 00:39:44

you into like, a little tiny ant. But for the sake of Allah gonna

00:39:44 --> 00:39:48

hold my tongue to Allah He when you do that, like more and more.

00:39:49 --> 00:39:53

The sense of joy you start getting it because then they think they've

00:39:53 --> 00:39:55

won the argument. You know, they're walking around off Route,

00:39:56 --> 00:39:59

and you're just like, eternally Oh, if you only knew kill

00:40:00 --> 00:40:02

They knew the rewards that I'm going to be collecting on the day

00:40:02 --> 00:40:06

of judgment for this moment, I will let I will have my day,

00:40:06 --> 00:40:06

right?

00:40:08 --> 00:40:10

Well, like it feels so good. Because what you're doing is

00:40:10 --> 00:40:14

you're realizing like, this is why, you know, Allah has put me

00:40:14 --> 00:40:18

with this person, right? Because I don't want to be the same version

00:40:18 --> 00:40:22

of myself that I was last year or the year before. I want to see

00:40:22 --> 00:40:25

progress and change, right? That's why marriage is half of our deen

00:40:25 --> 00:40:29

is because you're supposed to be getting better, right as a couple

00:40:29 --> 00:40:33

as an individual. But if you're not, then you got to work on

00:40:33 --> 00:40:38

yourself, right? You can't do that if you're in this constant

00:40:38 --> 00:40:39

reactive reactive state.

00:40:41 --> 00:40:46

So learning to slow down in a world that is pushing you to speed

00:40:46 --> 00:40:53

up is not easy. Right? Everything in this life is fast, right? Fast

00:40:53 --> 00:40:57

food, fast cars. Instant instant, I mean, people and I know it's

00:40:57 --> 00:41:01

happening to me, and I really don't like it. If I'm like, you

00:41:01 --> 00:41:02

know, I don't really

00:41:03 --> 00:41:06

peruse social media very much. But sometimes, you know, I'm posting

00:41:06 --> 00:41:11

on Instagram, and I'll go see what someone sent me. I'm on reels. And

00:41:11 --> 00:41:14

within two seconds, if it's not, I'm like scrolling and I'm like,

00:41:14 --> 00:41:17

oh my god, I remember the patience to like, let the person get to

00:41:17 --> 00:41:23

their point, I want I want the nugget within like 10 seconds. And

00:41:23 --> 00:41:24

if it's not nugget worthy.

00:41:27 --> 00:41:30

And I don't like that, because you know, you want to, I mean, we

00:41:30 --> 00:41:33

should be more patient. But it's just the effect of these devices,

00:41:33 --> 00:41:36

right? That I've just hacked our brain. Now we have very low

00:41:36 --> 00:41:40

tolerance, people don't read anymore. We're just looking for

00:41:40 --> 00:41:43

instant, instant instant, you know, immediate gratification. And

00:41:43 --> 00:41:46

that goes a lot, you know, back to brain chemistry, because it's

00:41:46 --> 00:41:51

those serotonin or dopamine hits that we're seeking. So anyway, but

00:41:51 --> 00:41:52

you know, again, this hadith.

00:41:54 --> 00:41:58

You it also simple, and this is why the prophesy sounds, words are

00:41:58 --> 00:42:01

so impactful. Because if you just hear it or read it, and then move

00:42:01 --> 00:42:04

on from it without deliberating doing what we're supposed to be

00:42:04 --> 00:42:08

doing, considering, then you may miss all of these realizations.

00:42:08 --> 00:42:12

But it's very important when you read either eyes of the Quran or

00:42:12 --> 00:42:17

Hadith of the process, and to sit and think about it. And why these

00:42:17 --> 00:42:19

types of you know, conversations can be beneficial to have with

00:42:19 --> 00:42:22

other people too, because you can get, you can generate a lot of

00:42:22 --> 00:42:26

conversation. So any questions on this video? And I think I just

00:42:26 --> 00:42:28

want to check the time because a share should be always stops in

00:42:28 --> 00:42:29

time. Okay. Yes.

00:42:40 --> 00:42:43

That's a very good question. So the sister is asking how do you

00:42:44 --> 00:42:48

draw a line? Or know how to differentiate between tolerating

00:42:48 --> 00:42:51

something and letting it go? Or, you know, standing up for

00:42:51 --> 00:42:54

yourself? Right? It's a very good question. I think, you know, each

00:42:54 --> 00:42:59

situation again, is is going to it's very subjective thing. But if

00:42:59 --> 00:43:04

you feel in the moment that your acting, or your reaction is about

00:43:04 --> 00:43:08

setting the record straight, right, then it's like you're,

00:43:08 --> 00:43:12

you're pursuing truth. Right? So if let's say, you know, there's an

00:43:12 --> 00:43:16

accusation made? And you're like, wait, no, that's not true. And you

00:43:16 --> 00:43:20

want to defend the position because it's hot, right? That's

00:43:20 --> 00:43:24

one thing. But if it's your ego driving you, that's where you have

00:43:24 --> 00:43:26

to be able to really pay attention to your thoughts. If you're

00:43:26 --> 00:43:30

getting a satisfaction of it, where it's very petty, there's no

00:43:30 --> 00:43:34

real point even to argue any further. Sometimes we'll just keep

00:43:34 --> 00:43:36

going and going because we want the last word, right. So if you're

00:43:36 --> 00:43:40

doing that, it's just now it's just your ego driving you. It's

00:43:40 --> 00:43:44

not about defending yourself or really standing up for yourself.

00:43:45 --> 00:43:48

It's because you want to win, right? It's about having the

00:43:48 --> 00:43:52

satisfaction of saying I beat you and that for the spiritual heart

00:43:52 --> 00:43:56

is not good because we get more reward even when you are in the

00:43:56 --> 00:44:01

right. And you let go of something you actually get more reward.

00:44:02 --> 00:44:07

Right? Because you're trying to you're you're acting in, in your,

00:44:08 --> 00:44:11

you're thinking of the mutual benefit to everybody, right?

00:44:11 --> 00:44:13

Because if it's about you, then you just do what serves you. But

00:44:13 --> 00:44:16

if you're like, you know what, I'm going to let it go because I don't

00:44:16 --> 00:44:18

want to cause tension. I don't want there to be fitna I don't

00:44:18 --> 00:44:22

want this to drag on. You're you're seeking something outside

00:44:22 --> 00:44:26

of yourself. So that's there's much more virtue in that right to

00:44:26 --> 00:44:30

do things for a greater good, but it's a very good question. Thank

00:44:30 --> 00:44:34

you. Hum did Allah so 100 Because we have a few more minutes I'm

00:44:34 --> 00:44:37

going to read the next Hadith because and we can after a show

00:44:37 --> 00:44:40

when we come back I can stay in Charlotte for a bit to answer your

00:44:40 --> 00:44:43

questions, if you have any. But let's go to the next Hadith here.

00:44:44 --> 00:44:45

And this is

00:44:47 --> 00:44:50

other sort of lies of Allahu Allahu wa Salama, it tabula.

00:44:50 --> 00:44:55

Haytham la quinta wat to be CEO to Al Hassan atta, who here will

00:44:55 --> 00:44:59

Harlequin Nancy Behala can Hassan and this is in reverse

00:45:00 --> 00:45:03

activity. So it's related in activity. And this is the

00:45:03 --> 00:45:06

messenger of God. So the Lohani, who said have said, Keep God in

00:45:06 --> 00:45:12

mind, wherever you are, follow a wrong with a right that offsets

00:45:12 --> 00:45:19

it, and treat people courteously. Again, just another encompassing

00:45:19 --> 00:45:21

Hadith with so much power in it.

00:45:23 --> 00:45:26

Sorry, here, I have some notes here.

00:45:28 --> 00:45:30

So this first part let's look at, because there's three sections

00:45:30 --> 00:45:33

here, right? The first advice here, the process is telling us is

00:45:33 --> 00:45:38

to keep us private, in mind, wherever you are. Now, practically

00:45:38 --> 00:45:41

speaking, that might seem difficult to do, right, unless you

00:45:41 --> 00:45:45

are learning to play a form of like, connect the dots. And this

00:45:45 --> 00:45:49

is kind of just something that I have found successful, and maybe

00:45:49 --> 00:45:52

it'll help you too. But if I'm doing anything that is not a

00:45:52 --> 00:45:57

direct act of a bad or like, you know, reading a Quran, or Hadith

00:45:57 --> 00:46:01

or just something that's direct, right, versus an indirect, just

00:46:01 --> 00:46:06

human action, like I'm looking out the window, right? I don't like to

00:46:06 --> 00:46:10

mindlessly look out the window. So what I do is I think about

00:46:10 --> 00:46:14

everything I'm looking at, and I try to reflect on the bigger

00:46:14 --> 00:46:17

picture, right? So I'm looking out the window, and I think

00:46:17 --> 00:46:23

Subhanallah I cannot believe that every grain of sand, but I can't

00:46:23 --> 00:46:29

even there's no way to numerically even fathom what that would be

00:46:29 --> 00:46:31

right? every grain of sand that's in Allah's creation that Allah

00:46:31 --> 00:46:32

knows

00:46:33 --> 00:46:37

its existence or what it is, wherever he leaf. So I'll just

00:46:37 --> 00:46:40

start letting my mind wander in that direction, where I'm in awe

00:46:40 --> 00:46:43

of what I'm looking at. So it could be something like that. Or

00:46:43 --> 00:46:47

even if I'm watching a movie, I don't care I first of all, just my

00:46:47 --> 00:46:51

personal opinion, but I think a lot of movies made maybe in the

00:46:51 --> 00:46:56

past 10 or 15 years and onward are just a waste of utter waste of

00:46:56 --> 00:47:00

time. I don't I feel like the quality of film, The storylines,

00:47:00 --> 00:47:07

the acting, the unnecessary, just salacious, inappropriate filth

00:47:07 --> 00:47:11

that they're peddling to us to keep us completely, like, you

00:47:11 --> 00:47:16

know, under their spell is not worth your time. So please be very

00:47:16 --> 00:47:21

mindful of what you put into your heart. Because those things have

00:47:21 --> 00:47:24

an effect, you know, if you're gonna watch Netflix, Netflix is

00:47:24 --> 00:47:29

like, shutdowns playground, like, there's everything and anything on

00:47:29 --> 00:47:33

there that is like, it loses like he is getting more subscribers,

00:47:33 --> 00:47:35

you know, and you have all these people who just spend their hours

00:47:35 --> 00:47:39

watching series and shows and wasting their life away.

00:47:39 --> 00:47:43

entranced, by like the pied piper, you know, the pied piper, that's

00:47:43 --> 00:47:46

what he would do, he would just put out a tune, and then

00:47:46 --> 00:47:49

everybody's like, ah, and now that's what we've done to

00:47:49 --> 00:47:53

ourselves. We just can't wait for the next series. No, think about

00:47:53 --> 00:47:56

it. Is it helping you in your Eman? Is it going to put you in a

00:47:56 --> 00:48:00

depressive state? Because guess what, a lot of these films, that's

00:48:00 --> 00:48:03

what they do even Bollywood, I'm sorry, I used to watch. You know,

00:48:03 --> 00:48:07

when I was younger, there was some good storylines, but Bollywood,

00:48:07 --> 00:48:12

man, tanked. It's just followed the same, you know, line that we

00:48:12 --> 00:48:16

see from Western media. So you end up watching that stuff. And a lot

00:48:16 --> 00:48:19

of people call more depressed. Right? Because it's like, Oh, I

00:48:19 --> 00:48:23

wish I had done I wish I had this. Anyway, that's my little rant

00:48:23 --> 00:48:26

about Netflix film. But I think you have to be very careful.

00:48:27 --> 00:48:31

Because, you know, the quality of what you're watching should at

00:48:31 --> 00:48:31

least

00:48:33 --> 00:48:37

make you think of God. And if it's not, that's a problem. Right? If

00:48:37 --> 00:48:39

it's making you think of everything else, but you don't

00:48:39 --> 00:48:41

want to think of Allah, Samantha, that's a problem, to try to look

00:48:41 --> 00:48:46

for good content, but also look for the meanings of things. You

00:48:46 --> 00:48:49

know, I mean, I will I've done this many times where I'm watching

00:48:49 --> 00:48:53

a movie, and instead of focusing on even the storyline, sometimes

00:48:53 --> 00:48:57

I'll just space out, I'm thinking about the technology and how Allah

00:48:57 --> 00:49:02

subhanaw taala gave human beings the brains and the ability, right

00:49:02 --> 00:49:05

to like, do all this because you know, some of the CGI stuff is

00:49:05 --> 00:49:08

just like crazy are just like, how did he read these conceive this?

00:49:08 --> 00:49:11

How did we even put this together? I don't understand. I don't

00:49:11 --> 00:49:13

understand the text. I don't understand how these things work.

00:49:13 --> 00:49:16

So I'll just sit there and be like, in awe of that.

00:49:17 --> 00:49:20

Or you know, something else, but I will make it a point that I have

00:49:20 --> 00:49:23

to, if I'm going to be doing something an activity like that,

00:49:23 --> 00:49:28

that I have to do my own form of zakat. You could do this, you

00:49:28 --> 00:49:32

know, going to a play. I went to a play last year, same thing. I'm

00:49:32 --> 00:49:36

watching these actors on the stage. And I'm just like, you

00:49:36 --> 00:49:39

know, subhanAllah storytelling.

00:49:40 --> 00:49:45

It's such a powerful tool. And how these people you know, do this and

00:49:45 --> 00:49:49

you just start going into a place of really because it is that's the

00:49:49 --> 00:49:53

thicket if you're remembering Allah, anywhere you are, you're

00:49:53 --> 00:49:56

doing because you can be shopping. And if you're going through the

00:49:56 --> 00:49:59

mall, instead of just being like, ah you know,

00:50:00 --> 00:50:03

Over time, like yesterday, I saw something about, you know, this

00:50:03 --> 00:50:08

huge I've ever been to Harrods in London, and how it's like the

00:50:08 --> 00:50:12

place to go to London, you know, because it has all the, you know,

00:50:12 --> 00:50:16

high end brand name. And the tag of the video is like billionaires

00:50:16 --> 00:50:20

go to shop for their groceries at Harrods, and it's like, this kind

00:50:20 --> 00:50:24

of stuff is just to make you so like, ah, we shouldn't be

00:50:24 --> 00:50:27

impressed by any of that the marketplace, by the way is

00:50:27 --> 00:50:29

considered I mean, according to the head, he's one of the worst

00:50:29 --> 00:50:32

places to be because it will take you out of the remembrance of

00:50:32 --> 00:50:36

Allah. It's a place that drives your temptation and desires. So

00:50:36 --> 00:50:39

you don't you shouldn't want to be there and you should be the type

00:50:39 --> 00:50:42

of person and make that Nia that y'all are don't let me be a person

00:50:42 --> 00:50:46

who's just like being pulled in every direction by the dunya.

00:50:47 --> 00:50:50

Like, give me intentionality and purpose. So I only go to the store

00:50:50 --> 00:50:54

when I literally have something to buy. And I'm not going to just

00:50:54 --> 00:50:59

waste my day, perusing for no reason. And if you do, like let's

00:50:59 --> 00:51:02

say, Okay, I remember when my kids were young target was my place.

00:51:03 --> 00:51:06

I'm like, I need to go to Target. Not because I love Target, because

00:51:06 --> 00:51:11

I just liked the ability to be in a place where I could look at nice

00:51:11 --> 00:51:16

things without mommy, mommy, I just needed my own time to just

00:51:16 --> 00:51:20

look like to be in that space. Right and it was safe and whatever

00:51:20 --> 00:51:24

it was close by. So you can do that. But then I had the NIA 100

00:51:24 --> 00:51:27

If you ever followed me on Facebook, it happened where I

00:51:27 --> 00:51:31

would be doing dollar if Allah provided me the opportunity.

00:51:32 --> 00:51:35

You know, I don't care. I'll smile at anybody. Hi, how are you? I'm

00:51:35 --> 00:51:37

well thank you. How are you? We all talk to people, I made the

00:51:37 --> 00:51:40

media I'm gonna go and be in a place that's, you know,

00:51:40 --> 00:51:45

marketplace, I want to be actively Muslim. I want people to know I'm

00:51:45 --> 00:51:50

Muslim, I have no problem talking to people. So make the NIA like if

00:51:50 --> 00:51:52

you're going to put yourself in those situations that you're going

00:51:52 --> 00:51:54

to be doing what you were

00:51:55 --> 00:51:59

created to do, which is represent the deen of Allah subhanaw taala.

00:51:59 --> 00:52:02

So those are the ways that when we say remember ALLAH, wherever you

00:52:02 --> 00:52:03

are, this is

00:52:05 --> 00:52:08

what we're talking about. You have intention to make the most of

00:52:08 --> 00:52:14

every moment and to try to bring conversations that bring you into

00:52:14 --> 00:52:17

the numbers of a lot or even the company that you're in. You go to

00:52:17 --> 00:52:20

a dinner party, you go to a wedding, if you go to a wedding,

00:52:20 --> 00:52:22

and there's dancing, and there's like belly dancers and all this,

00:52:22 --> 00:52:24

you know, Bhangra, everything's happening, and you have to go

00:52:24 --> 00:52:27

home, sometimes you gotta go family, you know, you don't want

00:52:27 --> 00:52:31

to cause problems. I've seen it, people will literally own the

00:52:31 --> 00:52:34

dancers come out, they turn their chairs, backs. And it's okay, it's

00:52:34 --> 00:52:37

a round table, who's going to take offense to that? Sit, put your

00:52:37 --> 00:52:41

chair on the other side. Gather people who are like minded and

00:52:41 --> 00:52:45

just start talking about Hola. I've done it, you can do that. Why

00:52:45 --> 00:52:47

do you have to sit there and go, Oh, my God, this is so hard on I

00:52:47 --> 00:52:50

can't believe they're dancing. And you're just sitting there judging

00:52:50 --> 00:52:54

everybody. You're there because you want to prevent family

00:52:54 --> 00:52:58

infighting, and fitna beautiful intention. Now double your reward.

00:52:58 --> 00:53:02

Because you know what's beautiful about circles of wicked, that

00:53:03 --> 00:53:06

circles of wicked, the angels descend. So in an environment

00:53:06 --> 00:53:09

where it's like clear haram, you could inshallah be creating the

00:53:09 --> 00:53:13

song, your own little bubble of light that the angels are

00:53:13 --> 00:53:17

descending upon. And then you also can invite people who may be like,

00:53:17 --> 00:53:21

listening here and there, they get the reward, even if they don't

00:53:21 --> 00:53:23

want to, they're not there with the same intention. It's just

00:53:23 --> 00:53:26

these are according to the Hadith, right? That when people come

00:53:26 --> 00:53:29

together for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala, even a passerby

00:53:29 --> 00:53:31

can get the reward of that thicket.

00:53:32 --> 00:53:39

Because there was so generous, so just reprogram your mind to be a

00:53:39 --> 00:53:44

person of mindfulness, not just doing what the status quo tells

00:53:44 --> 00:53:48

you to do be your own individual person, you have autonomy, you

00:53:48 --> 00:53:51

have choices. So when you're put in environments like I've had,

00:53:52 --> 00:53:54

people ask me, okay, what do you do if you go to family and they

00:53:54 --> 00:53:57

all they want to do is gossip. Okay, so if you know that you go

00:53:57 --> 00:54:00

to certain family members, and they just love to gossip, and

00:54:00 --> 00:54:03

you're asking, What do I do in that environment? What's your

00:54:03 --> 00:54:06

preparation for the next time? Are you just gonna go there and be

00:54:06 --> 00:54:12

like, you know, like, Stan, like, on like a passerby or just

00:54:12 --> 00:54:15

watching like, you're watching this unfold again for the 10th or

00:54:15 --> 00:54:21

15th time? Or maybe you go there with some topics prepared, you

00:54:21 --> 00:54:24

know, maybe you can drive the conversation, maybe you can go in

00:54:24 --> 00:54:27

with some stories or something like some news to share, so that

00:54:27 --> 00:54:30

you're not subject to the gossiper. Right, or the if that if

00:54:30 --> 00:54:34

there's one relative who's always taking control, and she's always

00:54:34 --> 00:54:37

or he's always saying things, maybe you can come and go, Hey,

00:54:37 --> 00:54:41

guys, I have an idea. Let's, you know, play this trivia game or

00:54:41 --> 00:54:43

like, I don't know, it could be anything but my point is, is you

00:54:43 --> 00:54:48

have to have the intention and the creativity, to not let yourself

00:54:48 --> 00:54:52

just be in certain situations and then complain about it. Be a

00:54:52 --> 00:54:56

person who's using your mind your intellect, and in charge of

00:54:56 --> 00:54:59

yourself and try to be as intentional as possible to keep

00:55:00 --> 00:55:03

was Potter in your mind wherever you are. And it really is possible

00:55:03 --> 00:55:06

people have wicked. I mean, there's that famous story of I

00:55:06 --> 00:55:09

don't know who the great scholar was, but there was

00:55:10 --> 00:55:14

a great scholar, I think he was in Iraq, maybe I'm sorry, I don't

00:55:14 --> 00:55:17

have the details. But he was a great scholar and another student

00:55:17 --> 00:55:21

of his of Dean wanted to find him. So he went to the massage and he

00:55:21 --> 00:55:24

looked everywhere, he was nowhere to be found. And then someone

00:55:24 --> 00:55:27

said, Oh, you can find them in the marketplace. So he's like, what

00:55:27 --> 00:55:30

this great saintly scholar is in the marketplace. Like that's not

00:55:30 --> 00:55:33

where I'm expecting to meet him, right? So he goes, and he finds

00:55:33 --> 00:55:37

him. And he's like, selling fruit. And he's, you know.

00:55:41 --> 00:55:43

So he's selling fruit. And then the man goes up to him, and he

00:55:43 --> 00:55:45

says, I've been looking all over for you.

00:55:49 --> 00:55:50

Oh, man.

00:55:53 --> 00:55:56

Okay, so. So he's like, I've been looking all over for you, and

00:55:56 --> 00:56:01

you're selling fruits. I was expecting like a man of God, and

00:56:01 --> 00:56:04

then took him according to destroy

00:56:05 --> 00:56:06

in lung.

00:56:08 --> 00:56:09

Thank you. Thank you so much.

00:56:10 --> 00:56:14

I'm sorry for those who are streaming. We're just continuing

00:56:14 --> 00:56:17

the discussion from the before prayer where we were talking about

00:56:17 --> 00:56:21

the Hadith. Keep God in mind, wherever you are, follow a wrong

00:56:21 --> 00:56:25

with a right that offsets it, and treat people courteously. And

00:56:25 --> 00:56:28

we're focusing right now the second part of that hadith, which

00:56:28 --> 00:56:31

is to follow a wrong with the right action. So I just read

00:56:31 --> 00:56:34

another Hadith that's a complement to this one. That should give us

00:56:34 --> 00:56:38

all hope, where the problem lies in a promise that when we sin or

00:56:38 --> 00:56:42

do something wrong, that Allah subhanaw taala directs the angels

00:56:42 --> 00:56:45

that are on our left are scribes, right? We all have scribes that

00:56:45 --> 00:56:49

are writing our good deeds and bad deeds, that they lift the pen for

00:56:49 --> 00:56:50

a period of six hours,

00:56:52 --> 00:56:54

to give us time to redress the wrong.

00:56:56 --> 00:57:02

And if we do so then it's erased completely. If we don't, then it's

00:57:02 --> 00:57:06

counted as one sin. So this is again, a hope for anyone who's

00:57:06 --> 00:57:11

felt really bad. If you have if you sit with remorse over or guilt

00:57:11 --> 00:57:16

over something you said or did, then you have time to redress it.

00:57:16 --> 00:57:19

And sometimes, you know, there's things that we do that are against

00:57:19 --> 00:57:24

our own souls, right, that harm our souls. And for that, Toba,

00:57:24 --> 00:57:28

obviously, is the recourse. But if you've harmed someone else, right,

00:57:28 --> 00:57:32

you've done something that you hurt someone else, you also should

00:57:32 --> 00:57:37

really take heed of this advice, or this hadith, and fix it. Don't

00:57:37 --> 00:57:40

let your pride get in the way. Because sometimes it's hard to

00:57:40 --> 00:57:46

admit, admit you made a mistake. We fear, sometimes showing that

00:57:46 --> 00:57:49

level of accountability and vulnerability because we think

00:57:49 --> 00:57:52

it's going to be used against us. But you shouldn't think of it that

00:57:52 --> 00:57:54

way. Just say, you know, what, if I made a mistake, and I wronged

00:57:54 --> 00:57:58

someone, I shouldn't care about protecting my ego, that's the

00:57:58 --> 00:58:01

least of my concerns, I should care about pleasing Allah subhanaw

00:58:01 --> 00:58:06

taala. And that means sometimes, you know, losing your face a

00:58:06 --> 00:58:09

little bit, you know, it's if that's what it takes for you to

00:58:09 --> 00:58:12

show some humility and say, Okay, I made a mistake. I'm wrong. I'm

00:58:12 --> 00:58:15

sorry, I'm sorry, I said that I'm sorry, did that I should have

00:58:15 --> 00:58:19

known better, you will be elevated for you know, even though you

00:58:19 --> 00:58:23

think you're coming down, because you're having to show humility in

00:58:23 --> 00:58:26

the sight of Allah subhana you being elevated. And this is

00:58:26 --> 00:58:28

especially true for parents and their children. Because I see

00:58:28 --> 00:58:31

there's this cultural, you know,

00:58:32 --> 00:58:35

idea that that some of our cultures have where, you know,

00:58:35 --> 00:58:38

respect has to be one directional, like children should always be

00:58:38 --> 00:58:41

showing deference and respect to parents and apologizing to

00:58:41 --> 00:58:44

parents. But some cultures, parents don't really apologize to

00:58:44 --> 00:58:47

their children when they make mistakes. And this is wholly

00:58:47 --> 00:58:52

wrong. Like this is not Islam. If you as a parent did something that

00:58:52 --> 00:58:55

was harmful to your child, you hurt their feelings, you slighted

00:58:55 --> 00:58:58

them, you ignored them, you dismiss them. If your child I

00:58:58 --> 00:59:02

mean, I've had to do this before, where you know, my son, my

00:59:02 --> 00:59:05

youngest one he likes, he likes to tell stories, and he's a very much

00:59:05 --> 00:59:09

all active imagination. He actually likes to draw and write

00:59:09 --> 00:59:13

stories. So he has notebooks filled with like, these stories

00:59:13 --> 00:59:17

are shallow. So in the end, he's the type that will tell a story

00:59:17 --> 00:59:19

where it's like, Oh, Mommy, I have a story to tell. And it's like,

00:59:19 --> 00:59:23

and then and then and then and then and then and then just

00:59:23 --> 00:59:26

doesn't. This is like, it's just a lot of events. So you're like,

00:59:26 --> 00:59:29

okay, like, where's the climax, where's the end of the story, but

00:59:29 --> 00:59:32

it keeps going, right? So there's times where I have tried to

00:59:32 --> 00:59:35

sustain you know, my attention, but I'm like, I was in the middle

00:59:35 --> 00:59:38

of something because you've so excitable, and I have like a

00:59:38 --> 00:59:41

deadline or something urgent. So then I'm like, Okay, I'm sorry, I

00:59:41 --> 00:59:44

have to do this. And you can see your child's spirit just gets

00:59:44 --> 00:59:48

crushed when they don't get you know, the another from the mother,

00:59:48 --> 00:59:53

especially because we have that potent AI that they so seek. So I

00:59:53 --> 00:59:57

have sometimes done that. And then because I just, you know, let my

00:59:57 --> 01:00:00

my own goals get ahead of me and then when

01:00:00 --> 01:00:03

I thought about it later. I'm like, Oh, I totally destroyed his

01:00:03 --> 01:00:06

poor spirit. So I've gone up to him and I'm like, I am so sorry.

01:00:06 --> 01:00:11

I, I know what I did. i You were so excited. Tell me your story.

01:00:11 --> 01:00:15

And I didn't, you know, I didn't I didn't listen all the way I was

01:00:15 --> 01:00:22

distracted and I'm sorry. And, you know, I have to do that. And he's

01:00:22 --> 01:00:25

they're so much more forgiving than we adults are right? Because

01:00:25 --> 01:00:29

they don't even they feel bad that we're apologizing. So I know it's

01:00:29 --> 01:00:32

okay, mommy, it's okay, if you get all this beautiful, sweet

01:00:32 --> 01:00:36

reaction. But we should do that we should be willing to acknowledge

01:00:36 --> 01:00:40

our mistakes. And whenever we mess up or slip up, if we, again are

01:00:40 --> 01:00:44

raise our voice to them or we are reactive, just say I'm sorry. It's

01:00:44 --> 01:00:48

okay. And you'll see that your relationship will will be

01:00:48 --> 01:00:51

strengthened from that. But again, the point here is you have a

01:00:51 --> 01:00:56

window of opportunity to fix mistakes, right? And then another

01:00:56 --> 01:00:58

Hadith the Prophet SAW, I sort of said,

01:00:59 --> 01:01:02

or I believe in Massoud reported that a man kissed a woman and he

01:01:02 --> 01:01:05

came to the prophesized Saddam and he mentioned it to him. So he did

01:01:05 --> 01:01:09

the sin. It was a simple act. And then the verse was revealed,

01:01:09 --> 01:01:13

perform prayer at the two ends of the day and in the first hours of

01:01:13 --> 01:01:16

the night. Verily, good deeds remove evil deeds. This is in

01:01:16 --> 01:01:20

chapter 11, verse 114. So the man said, O Messenger of Allah, is it

01:01:20 --> 01:01:24

only for me? Or is it for me only, and the prophesy centum said it is

01:01:24 --> 01:01:27

for all who act upon it for my nation. So this is another

01:01:28 --> 01:01:32

beautiful Naseeha if you do something wrong, you can make to

01:01:32 --> 01:01:36

have a cat right at the start of your day, the end of the day, or

01:01:36 --> 01:01:40

in the hedged period and ask Allah for Toba. Just be a person who

01:01:40 --> 01:01:45

acknowledges your mistakes, but follows a wrong with a right

01:01:45 --> 01:01:50

action. Don't just sit with sin and just be like, Oh, well, you

01:01:50 --> 01:01:53

know, next time fix it, no, fix it right away. So that's the second

01:01:53 --> 01:01:56

part of the Hadith. And then the third part is treat people

01:01:56 --> 01:01:57

courteously.

01:01:58 --> 01:02:01

Oh, I'm sorry, one more Hadith that helps us to understand the

01:02:01 --> 01:02:04

importance of all the bad that we do, right? The process that I'm

01:02:05 --> 01:02:08

taught, or in another Hadith, he said, I'm sorry, the previous one

01:02:08 --> 01:02:11

was recorded in Behati, and Muslim and so is this one, the

01:02:11 --> 01:02:12

proposition said?

01:02:15 --> 01:02:18

He said, If there was a river at your door, and he, sorry, if there

01:02:18 --> 01:02:21

was a river at your door, and you took a bath in it five times a

01:02:21 --> 01:02:27

day, would you notice any dirt? Right? If a person took a bath in

01:02:27 --> 01:02:30

their in a river that was by their house, would you notice any dirt

01:02:30 --> 01:02:33

on that person? No, five times a day, right? They're bathing, not a

01:02:33 --> 01:02:37

trace of dirt would be left, the Sahaba replied. He said that is

01:02:37 --> 01:02:40

the parable or the comparison of the five prayers, which Allah

01:02:40 --> 01:02:43

spider uses to remove sin. So every time we pray, it's like

01:02:43 --> 01:02:46

we're dipping ourselves in a river, cleansing ourselves from

01:02:46 --> 01:02:50

dirt and filth. So the sins that we've done during the day are

01:02:50 --> 01:02:53

being cleansed, even with will do right we know that that's what

01:02:53 --> 01:02:58

happens, you know, the trickling of water is the representing the

01:02:58 --> 01:03:01

sins that are coming as we make will do so. You know, we are

01:03:01 --> 01:03:05

everybody has a purpose to it. And it's so important for us to know

01:03:05 --> 01:03:07

that whether we,

01:03:08 --> 01:03:12

you know, whatever the action is that we can we can erase it in

01:03:12 --> 01:03:15

these ways. You know, we can erase our sins through Toba through

01:03:15 --> 01:03:19

prayer through dua through or through asking for forgiveness.

01:03:19 --> 01:03:20

And then

01:03:22 --> 01:03:26

the last part of the Hadith and treat people courteously, right,

01:03:27 --> 01:03:32

this is, goes back to again, like your own ability to regulate

01:03:32 --> 01:03:37

yourself. There are times where people are going to annoy you are

01:03:37 --> 01:03:41

going to bother you, but you have to maintain a high level of a dub

01:03:42 --> 01:03:45

write up is a hallmark quality of the believer. And if you don't

01:03:45 --> 01:03:49

have a dub, or you are selective with your other, there's a problem

01:03:49 --> 01:03:53

like if you only show your good, true nature to people that you

01:03:53 --> 01:03:59

feel like, you know, deference to based on their status, you know,

01:03:59 --> 01:04:01

maybe there's people that you just see them as being, you know,

01:04:01 --> 01:04:05

worthy of that. And that's all you do is you just show really good

01:04:05 --> 01:04:07

idea, but then with your family or with other people, you have no

01:04:07 --> 01:04:11

adab that's a problem. Right? We're supposed to be consistent.

01:04:11 --> 01:04:16

So you want to say like, why is it that I'm, you know, I switch I act

01:04:16 --> 01:04:19

this way with this group and this way with this group, I have to be

01:04:19 --> 01:04:24

consistent and as far as like, for us as parents and educators you

01:04:24 --> 01:04:28

know, Imam Malik he was quoted as saying that my mother would dress

01:04:28 --> 01:04:32

me up and and say to me go to shareholder via and learn from his

01:04:32 --> 01:04:37

manners before his knowledge. So some of us have a backwards we're

01:04:37 --> 01:04:42

very keen on teaching our children like their ABCs and how to read

01:04:42 --> 01:04:44

and write and numbers and all this, you know, we give them

01:04:44 --> 01:04:49

gadgets and we're just constantly trying to educate them with

01:04:49 --> 01:04:54

knowledge, right? But then we don't teach them basic Adam, and

01:04:54 --> 01:04:58

this is really detrimental to their spiritual growth. Adult

01:04:58 --> 01:04:59

should always come before they should

01:05:00 --> 01:05:03

Know how to greet people, how to socialize with people how to serve

01:05:03 --> 01:05:08

guests. Right and you and there are so many different schools of

01:05:08 --> 01:05:11

parenting that it's like, you know, you gotta really just pick

01:05:11 --> 01:05:15

your like, be clear about what your standards are our standards

01:05:15 --> 01:05:19

are in line with what we are taught by our beloved prophesy

01:05:19 --> 01:05:24

Saddam and in our deen, right he is the, the epitome of beautiful

01:05:24 --> 01:05:29

character. So if you're going to look to books printed today by

01:05:29 --> 01:05:33

parenting experts, and not look at the example of the politician,

01:05:33 --> 01:05:36

again, that's a problem, because they're not always gonna have the

01:05:36 --> 01:05:40

same message in some of these books. It sounds nice, like, Oh,

01:05:40 --> 01:05:43

if your child doesn't want to greet people don't force them.

01:05:43 --> 01:05:47

Okay, nobody's saying to force them, but you also can't be like,

01:05:48 --> 01:05:51

it's okay. They don't ever have to speak to people, you know, because

01:05:51 --> 01:05:54

I'm trying to teach them I don't know, Stranger danger and all the

01:05:54 --> 01:05:58

stuff I I've read it all, Stranger danger. Yes, you know, if it's a

01:05:58 --> 01:06:01

complete, perfect stranger, and you know, they don't even know who

01:06:01 --> 01:06:04

they are, and there's no parent around them. Obviously, you teach

01:06:04 --> 01:06:07

your child, right. But if you're present, you can't use the

01:06:07 --> 01:06:11

stranger danger card, especially if it might be a stranger to you

01:06:11 --> 01:06:14

to your child, but they're not a stranger to you, right. But some

01:06:14 --> 01:06:18

people will use these types of ideas to absolve themselves or

01:06:18 --> 01:06:22

their children of learning basic adult and basic tarbiyah. Like You

01:06:22 --> 01:06:27

should greet your elders, right, you should learn or teach your

01:06:27 --> 01:06:31

children to when an elder comes in the room to greet them or to give

01:06:31 --> 01:06:35

up their space for them. To ask them, Do you need water? Can I get

01:06:35 --> 01:06:38

you anything? How many of us have gone to family events where the

01:06:38 --> 01:06:41

children and the elders are completely divided? And there's

01:06:41 --> 01:06:46

very little contact? That's horrible. Like, no, you should

01:06:47 --> 01:06:50

have your child go directly before you go to your cousin's upstairs

01:06:50 --> 01:06:54

and into the playroom and start playing. You need to go make your

01:06:54 --> 01:06:58

rounds to every single adult and say salam. Because this is the

01:06:58 --> 01:07:02

Hadith of the prophesy seven, right? So we kind of just have to

01:07:02 --> 01:07:06

reorient ourselves sometimes, because, again, based on a

01:07:06 --> 01:07:09

person's individual comfort levels, they may adopt these very

01:07:09 --> 01:07:14

western attitudes, but our standard has to be our deen. And

01:07:14 --> 01:07:19

if we, you know, put culture or our own comfort level before even

01:07:19 --> 01:07:22

in our parenting that we're going to make it difficult for our

01:07:22 --> 01:07:26

children, right to navigate this world. And I've seen it as a

01:07:26 --> 01:07:29

teacher, I've seen a lot of children. I mean, nowadays, you

01:07:29 --> 01:07:32

can read it yourself. Social Anxiety is one of the most common

01:07:32 --> 01:07:36

problems with youth. You think that just happened out of nowhere.

01:07:36 --> 01:07:40

It's because we're separating our children, only socializing them

01:07:40 --> 01:07:43

with their own peer groups, they have very little contact with

01:07:43 --> 01:07:46

elders or people outside of their peer group. They don't know how to

01:07:46 --> 01:07:51

socialize. So they do they end up freezing around anybody who's not

01:07:51 --> 01:07:53

their age, that is not healthy.

01:07:54 --> 01:07:57

And that's why we have to, again go back to our dean and say,

01:07:58 --> 01:08:01

there's so much interaction the prophesy centum and his you know,

01:08:01 --> 01:08:06

out with his own companions, children were in spurts

01:08:06 --> 01:08:11

intermingling with adults, it was just a lot of community. Right.

01:08:11 --> 01:08:13

And they felt safe, they felt taken care of they felt looked

01:08:13 --> 01:08:14

after.

01:08:15 --> 01:08:20

So that's where again, you know, this concept of that it should

01:08:20 --> 01:08:24

come before other things is so important. And then many other

01:08:24 --> 01:08:27

Hadith again, to support this, this particular Hadith the Prophet

01:08:27 --> 01:08:31

lesson said, rarely, whoever has been given the quality of kindness

01:08:31 --> 01:08:34

has been given his share of good in this life and in the Hereafter,

01:08:35 --> 01:08:39

maintaining family ties, good character, and good treatment of

01:08:39 --> 01:08:42

neighbors will build their heavenly abode and increase their

01:08:42 --> 01:08:45

lifespans. So this is our standard, you know, we want good

01:08:45 --> 01:08:48

family ties, we want good character we want the good

01:08:48 --> 01:08:52

treatment of, you know, neighbors, strangers, whoever, just good

01:08:52 --> 01:08:54

adapt, treat people courteously. Right?

01:08:56 --> 01:08:59

And this is another Hadith where once a man sought permission to

01:08:59 --> 01:09:02

enter the home of the prophesy centum. And the prophesy sort of

01:09:02 --> 01:09:05

said, admit him Let him in. And then he said about he just said a

01:09:05 --> 01:09:09

general statement. He said, Richard is the son of a hostile

01:09:09 --> 01:09:12

clan, and wretched is the man of a hostile clan. When the man

01:09:12 --> 01:09:16

entered, the boss's son spoke to him gently. I showed her the law

01:09:16 --> 01:09:19

and then responded to him after he laughed at you. She said, You had

01:09:19 --> 01:09:22

us with a lot. You said what you said about him. And then you spoke

01:09:22 --> 01:09:25

to him gently, like he was just trying to understand it. And the

01:09:25 --> 01:09:28

prophesy son said, Oh, Aisha, the worst of people in position to

01:09:28 --> 01:09:32

Allah on the Day of Resurrection, are those whom people abandon or

01:09:32 --> 01:09:37

leave alone for fear of their vulgarity? So, you know, in other

01:09:37 --> 01:09:41

words, there might be people who, you know, are difficult people,

01:09:41 --> 01:09:44

they're not, you know, very cultured people, they, they're

01:09:44 --> 01:09:48

rude, but you should still speak to them gently, you should still

01:09:48 --> 01:09:53

speak to them with Adam, as he, as he did, right? Because this is the

01:09:53 --> 01:09:57

beauty of Islam and many examples come to us where the problems of

01:09:57 --> 01:09:59

certain people came to Islam simply because he treated them

01:10:00 --> 01:10:03

With honor, right like the man who urinated in the masjid, it's a

01:10:03 --> 01:10:07

classic Hadith, we should all know it and teach our children, he

01:10:07 --> 01:10:11

allowed him to finish. He told the Sahaba to veil him. And then when

01:10:11 --> 01:10:14

he was done, he called him over. And he taught him and he said, you

01:10:14 --> 01:10:18

know, gently to him, this is not the place where we do that, right.

01:10:18 --> 01:10:21

And he instructed the men to pour water and cleanse that area. And

01:10:21 --> 01:10:25

the man was so moved by the kindness of the province, for him

01:10:25 --> 01:10:30

to not admonish him, and to not strike him, that he ended up you

01:10:30 --> 01:10:33

know, making a dua that almost thought that forgives him, and

01:10:33 --> 01:10:37

only him and the process, not the Sahaba because they were all ready

01:10:37 --> 01:10:38

to jump in.

01:10:39 --> 01:10:42

But you know, he became Muslim because of that, and many other

01:10:42 --> 01:10:46

Hadees. So it can go a very long way. And there are people who've

01:10:46 --> 01:10:49

come to Islam because of really beautiful, the beautiful Edom of

01:10:49 --> 01:10:51

other people. So

01:10:52 --> 01:10:54

hamdullah, we have about 15 minutes, I think this would be a

01:10:54 --> 01:10:58

good point in Charlotte to stop if there any questions or comments or

01:10:58 --> 01:11:01

anything that anybody wants to share? Yeah, so Monica, right, the

01:11:01 --> 01:11:04

changes implement the changes so much, I'll just for those who are

01:11:04 --> 01:11:07

online, this sister was asking, how can we incorporate some of

01:11:07 --> 01:11:12

these lessons that we've learned today, you know, in our homes with

01:11:12 --> 01:11:15

our children without, you know, causing maybe some shock or, you

01:11:15 --> 01:11:19

know, like, leave it gently? And I think the answer is embedded in

01:11:19 --> 01:11:22

the question. It should be a gentle introduction, or maybe you

01:11:22 --> 01:11:26

could even say, you know, let's read something together. You know,

01:11:26 --> 01:11:30

I, again, this I'm not, I'm just sharing this because it might help

01:11:30 --> 01:11:33

you. But for young children, depending on the age from like,

01:11:33 --> 01:11:38

three to six, I wrote a children's book that was entirely for that,

01:11:38 --> 01:11:41

you know, that age range to teach edit, right? So if you wanted to

01:11:41 --> 01:11:44

teach, there's like children's books that you could use, you

01:11:44 --> 01:11:48

know, my book has like sections where it's about, like, basic

01:11:48 --> 01:11:52

advice that you could infuse, but it could be like, a lesson like

01:11:52 --> 01:11:54

that, where let's read this together. And oh, what do you

01:11:54 --> 01:11:56

think of that? Like, oh, the prophets, I saw them did this,

01:11:56 --> 01:11:59

like, you know, if you could find children's books, and there's so

01:11:59 --> 01:12:02

many great selections in our community Alhamdulillah that they

01:12:02 --> 01:12:06

have these lessons in the story, then it could be like a discovery

01:12:06 --> 01:12:10

that you're both making together, you know, which is like, wow, this

01:12:10 --> 01:12:13

is so beautiful. Do you want to do that in our home? Yeah, Mommy.

01:12:13 --> 01:12:16

Yeah, you know, so then it's like, Alright, let's do that. And with

01:12:16 --> 01:12:19

Ramadan coming around the corner and Shaolin Shaolin Mela, along

01:12:19 --> 01:12:24

with a little bit on my been me, he allow us to, to welcome it, and

01:12:24 --> 01:12:28

I'm sure it did, and, and successfully, you know, live

01:12:28 --> 01:12:34

through it. I mean, you could even do it as preparation for Ramadan.

01:12:34 --> 01:12:36

Like, you know, what Ramadan is coming around soon, and I want to

01:12:36 --> 01:12:39

start working on, you know, getting the home ready, yes, but

01:12:39 --> 01:12:43

also getting ourselves ready. So let's make some new changes. How

01:12:43 --> 01:12:46

about we do this differently, you know, so there's a few different

01:12:46 --> 01:12:49

ways that you could introduce these things. But I would say,

01:12:49 --> 01:12:54

find something that you can really do long term, like, if anything

01:12:54 --> 01:12:58

that was presented today, resonated with you, right, like I

01:12:58 --> 01:13:02

should do this every single day, then stick to that until it

01:13:02 --> 01:13:06

solidifies as just your normal, and then keep going to the next to

01:13:06 --> 01:13:10

the next. That's small habits done continuously are better than when

01:13:10 --> 01:13:15

we become over ambitious. And we all do it, we become super Muslim,

01:13:15 --> 01:13:18

right? Certain times, we want to do it all, but then we can't

01:13:18 --> 01:13:22

sustain it. So find consistent acts that you can do that really

01:13:22 --> 01:13:25

resonate, and that you think are going to make all the difference,

01:13:25 --> 01:13:28

especially when it comes to that bond that you want to build with

01:13:28 --> 01:13:32

your with your child. So 100 I hope that answered your question.

01:13:32 --> 01:13:35

To Zach, go ahead and have the law. Anyone else?

01:13:41 --> 01:13:45

Okay, oh, yes, absolutely. No, just like off at an excellent

01:13:45 --> 01:13:48

point. Again, for those online, this sister was just reflecting

01:13:48 --> 01:13:51

that sometimes we're too worried about undermining our authority

01:13:51 --> 01:13:54

when it comes to apologizing to our children or even admitting

01:13:54 --> 01:13:57

that we did certain things the wrong way. And we want to change

01:13:57 --> 01:14:01

course, when in fact, the opposite is true. Because yes, children are

01:14:01 --> 01:14:04

modeling after us all the time. So when they see us having the

01:14:04 --> 01:14:08

humility, the ability to make, you know, amends or or I mean, correct

01:14:08 --> 01:14:11

ourselves and hold ourselves accountable, then it will

01:14:11 --> 01:14:15

inshallah teach them and I would I agree, 100%. And if you do that,

01:14:15 --> 01:14:18

when your children are younger than as they grow into young

01:14:18 --> 01:14:24

adults and adolescents, you will see them and Sharla modeling what

01:14:24 --> 01:14:27

you showed them all along, but a lot of times what people do is

01:14:27 --> 01:14:31

they don't model it. And then the child starts to model exactly what

01:14:31 --> 01:14:34

they did, which is they refuse to admit they're wrong. They start

01:14:34 --> 01:14:37

shutting down or stonewalling like, no, because that's what they

01:14:37 --> 01:14:41

saw. So then they worry like, Well, how do I get my child to,

01:14:41 --> 01:14:44

you know, how can I fix my child? Well, it's like, well, if you were

01:14:44 --> 01:14:48

modeling all of that all their life, then who else? Can you

01:14:48 --> 01:14:53

blame? Right? So it really can backfire later on when you expect

01:14:53 --> 01:14:56

that they respect you and they listen to your authority, because

01:14:56 --> 01:14:59

they've never been taught how to you know, again, be

01:15:00 --> 01:15:03

Be humble and admit their mistakes. So, excellent point,

01:15:03 --> 01:15:06

just like a fan and thank you. And then I'm sorry. I think I heard

01:15:06 --> 01:15:06

someone Yes.

01:15:08 --> 01:15:12

Yes. So the book that I've been reading from is called the Content

01:15:12 --> 01:15:15

of Character and this is ethical sayings of the Prophet Muhammad

01:15:15 --> 01:15:19

Sallallahu Sallam translated by Sheikh Hamza Yusuf, but it is a

01:15:19 --> 01:15:23

collection from a scholar by the name of Schiff, I mean, Elmas Rui.

01:15:26 --> 01:15:31

Oh, I'm sorry, if any members like I'm so sorry, my children's book,

01:15:31 --> 01:15:34

yes, it's called Clear the path. I think they may even have a copy

01:15:34 --> 01:15:37

here. I actually forget all the time that I wrote a children's

01:15:37 --> 01:15:40

book that I'm shocked that I've remembered it here. But it's

01:15:40 --> 01:15:43

called Clear to bat path and it's a rhyme book on manners for little

01:15:43 --> 01:15:47

Muslims. I wrote it when my kids were younger, because I used to

01:15:47 --> 01:15:52

teach in a Muslim Co Op, preschool Co Op. And I found that this was

01:15:52 --> 01:15:54

always a concern for parents. They wanted their children have really

01:15:54 --> 01:15:58

good idea, but they weren't sure how to teach it. So I said, Ryan,

01:15:58 --> 01:16:02

okay, children like rhymes. And we can use some illustrations and

01:16:02 --> 01:16:06

rhymes. And maybe we can, we can show it, teach it to them. So I

01:16:06 --> 01:16:10

shall I hope you enjoy that. Kind of Thank you. Yes, again.

01:16:13 --> 01:16:18

Oh, it's available on Amazon. And I think Barnes and Noble. I don't

01:16:18 --> 01:16:21

know. I have a publisher, pro Lance, whose martial art produced

01:16:21 --> 01:16:26

a lot of the Muslim literature, I mean for children. So she does all

01:16:26 --> 01:16:30

of that back end. But I believe it's on Amazon. And zaytuna

01:16:30 --> 01:16:34

college bookstore has it roomie bookstore in Fremont. Should have

01:16:34 --> 01:16:38

some I think MCC might have some, but I have some too. So if you

01:16:38 --> 01:16:41

want me to bring that next time, I can bring some copies for you

01:16:41 --> 01:16:42

guys. Michelle.

01:16:45 --> 01:16:45

Thank you.

01:16:46 --> 01:16:48

Yes. Like I said,

01:16:49 --> 01:16:53

the market Savonarola that is so beautiful, just like a law firm

01:16:53 --> 01:17:00

for sharing. And yes, the more we can really do prep or like prepare

01:17:00 --> 01:17:04

our hearts before we go shopping in that way, whether you're doing

01:17:04 --> 01:17:08

a beautiful draw like that, or some form of deep care or just

01:17:08 --> 01:17:12

Toba or asking a lot to just give you, like, expedite, you know,

01:17:12 --> 01:17:15

your your experience, because I know sometimes it's so easy to

01:17:15 --> 01:17:20

want to just be there. But if you really think about the wait time

01:17:20 --> 01:17:24

that's wasted when we like enter those places, and sometimes even

01:17:24 --> 01:17:27

the diseases of the heart can increase you know, when we're

01:17:28 --> 01:17:31

looking at the material world and we have envy and just we want

01:17:31 --> 01:17:34

things and it's like it can cause problems because I've you know,

01:17:34 --> 01:17:38

you see people especially if they're struggling you know, and

01:17:38 --> 01:17:40

then they put themselves in those situations if you're financially

01:17:40 --> 01:17:43

struggling and then you're going into the stores where you can't

01:17:43 --> 01:17:47

afford you know most of the material in there. There's really

01:17:47 --> 01:17:50

no hikma and being there because all it will do will create

01:17:50 --> 01:17:54

resentment in your heart jealousy for those who are able to shop

01:17:54 --> 01:17:57

freely resentment in your heart so they might come home and just feel

01:17:57 --> 01:18:00

like nothing you have is good enough because you spent three

01:18:00 --> 01:18:06

hours in this you know ritzy high end shop and now you're looking at

01:18:06 --> 01:18:09

your spouse sideways like oh * if I'm married that doctor that

01:18:09 --> 01:18:11

came from me I would have had all that you know, it's like sort of a

01:18:11 --> 01:18:16

lot What did you just do? And it's all started from you know, you're

01:18:16 --> 01:18:20

not doing that like being more intentional because I agree the

01:18:20 --> 01:18:23

marketplace I think is one of the worst places and nowadays it would

01:18:23 --> 01:18:26

be even online because it's not just a physical place anymore the

01:18:26 --> 01:18:31

marketplace online a lot of people are just spending so much time

01:18:31 --> 01:18:36

consumed with consumption you know looking at this person's Instagram

01:18:36 --> 01:18:40

or this person's you know, store online shopper website and they

01:18:40 --> 01:18:44

just like want want want want but it's like there's no Heckman

01:18:44 --> 01:18:48

exposing your heart to that kind of stuff live very minimally

01:18:48 --> 01:18:52

without so many attachments and you'll find much more success but

01:18:52 --> 01:18:56

medical op calm thank you everyone Mashallah. Inshallah done Dr.

01:18:56 --> 01:18:59

Ronny, we'll be back next week. Hopefully because that will fit in

01:18:59 --> 01:19:03

for being such a wonderful audience and may Allah forgive us

01:19:03 --> 01:19:06

all and guide us all inshallah and keep us all safe you know, these

01:19:06 --> 01:19:09

are difficult times may Allah protect our families in sha Allah

01:19:10 --> 01:19:13

forgive all of those from our loved ones who have passed on in

01:19:13 --> 01:19:16

transition may Allah grant them all Jonathan for those anyone who

01:19:16 --> 01:19:21

is ill who is struggling in their relationships who has any

01:19:21 --> 01:19:24

difficulty right now financial or otherwise male is whether lift

01:19:24 --> 01:19:28

your burdens May Allah make it easy for you male is finally give

01:19:28 --> 01:19:31

you she fat and Sharla for any again physical problems mental

01:19:31 --> 01:19:33

health issues, any struggles you're having me all those

01:19:33 --> 01:19:37

problems bring you ease and and give you a reward for your

01:19:37 --> 01:19:40

beautiful patients. I mean, yeah, but Alameen Bismillah R Rahman

01:19:40 --> 01:19:44

Rahim Allah azza wa jal in Santa Fe hacer el Alladhina amanu.

01:19:44 --> 01:19:47

Alberto. slightly heavier to Isobel happy with the rest of the

01:19:47 --> 01:19:50

Southern Subhanak Oklahoma we handed the Chateau a la isla

01:19:50 --> 01:19:53

heyland and a software Kona to booty Lake Allahumma salli wa

01:19:53 --> 01:19:55

Salam wa barik ala se then our Maulana Where have you been a

01:19:55 --> 01:19:59

Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam while he was still in the

01:19:59 --> 01:19:59

* Katie

01:20:00 --> 01:20:03

Euro Subhanallah because I realized that the IUC phone was

01:20:03 --> 01:20:06

salam ala l Mursaleen. Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen Al

01:20:06 --> 01:20:09

Hamdulillah Zack morphin. Please again make dua for everybody at

01:20:09 --> 01:20:13

MCC and Dr. Rania inshallah for her to return safely and that I

01:20:13 --> 01:20:16

have a foundation support them. support all of the teachers and

01:20:16 --> 01:20:19

all of the organizers behind the scene. Just like

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