Hosai Mojaddidi – Raising Mindful Children (Part 2)
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
mindful parenting is equivalent to prophetic parenting. It is to be
fully present and aware, playful when appropriate, but serious
otherwise and always vigilant against danger and harm.
Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim along with scileanna say that um
Mohammad while Annie was savvy of selling the Sleeman Kathira a
salam Wa alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh. My name is Jose
McGeady and I'm honored to present on the topic of raising mindful
children. Duties of parents to awaken the hearts of their
children for zaytuna college is first spring program 2022.
Raising children today involves immense struggle, given all the
assaults on their minds for their attention. How do we protect them?
What strategies can we use to keep them focused on what's important?
This lecture will cover the theology of home. How can we make
our homes more mindful places of tranquility and peace? How can we
keep our children protected against the current forces pulling
them away from their parents? The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam was a father. What were his parental practices? And how did he
treat children and help them come closer to God? According to
research published in the Journal of child and adolescent mental
health, in order to raise well adjusted and confident children,
parents fare better adopting an authoritative approach as opposed
to an authoritarian one. For the modern parent. However, this is
easier said than done as pervasive social and cultural trends,
influenced by competing philosophies and political
movements question the very legitimacy of parental authority.
Today, Muslim parents as well as those from other faith traditions,
face unprecedented challenges raising children, due to the
modern Zeitgeist which frowns upon religious tradition, and looks
favorably upon a progressive, post modern world where systems of
authority, including institutions, like marriage and family, are
reimagined, restructured, or completely dismantled and
replaced. It is no wonder that our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam warned us in the great hadith of Gibreel Alehissalaam
that toward the latter days, the slave girl would give birth to her
mistress. This was reported in Sahih Muslim imam Ibn unhedged al
Escalante, Rahim Allah stated in his commentary on this hadith,
that this meant children would become defiant, disrespectful and
abusive toward their parents, the same way slave owners abused their
subjects.
In a national survey conducted in the 1970s of 600 families, about
one in 11 households reported experiencing child on parent
violence. The author's projected from their findings to estimate
that more than two and a half million adolescents were reported
as having struck a parent at least once, and 900,000 had been
involved in acts of severe violence against a parent. More
recent data published in 2017 suggests this number is actually
between five to 22%, which researchers speculate is a gross
underestimate, as more often than not, parents and caregivers never
report the violence.
As these and other alarming familial, and social problems
continue to rise, we must ask what can be done to protect our
households and communities? How can Muslim parents effectively
establish parental authority while also implementing mindful Islamic
parenting best practices? What are the most effective tools that
Muslim parents can learn and teach their households to create homes
of serenity and peace? And how was the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam the paragon of perfection as a father.
In the well known Hadith reported in the Morata of Imam Malik, the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, both to the Otama
horsnell A Haluk. I have been sent to perfect good character.
Thus possessing good character and virtue is a goal that every Muslim
must strive to achieve. And naturally the starting point is
early childhood as we are creatures of habit
Imam Al Ghazali Rahim Allah in India Aloma Dean, in the chapter
on raising children States know that the method of bringing up
children is one of the most important and essential matters.
The child is a trust in the hands of his parents. And his pure heart
is an unblemished precious stone, free of any engraving or form. It
is amenable to being engraved and molded in any direction. If it is
habituated and taught to be good, it will be raised upon this. Such
a child will be felicitous in this world and the next, his parents,
teachers and educators will all share in his reward.
If the child is habituated to evil, however, and neglected like
an animal, he will be wretched and fall to destruction, and his sin
will be shared by those responsible for his upbringing.
Thus, children are created in a pure and malleable state so that
parents and caregivers can nurture them and teach them virtue from a
very early age as their faculties and senses awaken to their
surroundings. Children observe and absorb everything they hear and
see whether they are raised by loved ones at home or professional
caregivers in and outside of the home. They are taking in every
sound, word, movement, action and reaction. To effectively raise
them parents must first and foremost remember that children
are a trust from God. And another well known Hadith the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam tells us, Allah Kulu Kamara and Aquila
Gomez, all and Andre Yeti. Every one of you is a shepherd and is
responsible for his flock. The leader of the people is a guardian
and is responsible for his subjects. A man is the guardian of
his family and is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of
her home and her children and she is responsible for them. The
servant of a man is a guardian of the property of his master, and he
is responsible for it no doubt. Every one of you is a shepherd and
is responsible for his flock. Here the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam uses the analogy of shepherding to describe the aims
and objectives of leadership roles, including parenting. This
is an incredible example. As child rearing much like shepherding
requires mindfulness vigilance and discipline. For example, a parent
who is distracted and not paying attention to what their children
is consuming who they are spending time with, or whether or not
they're playing within the appropriate boundaries and being
safe, is negligent in a similar way to a shepherd who leaves his
or her flock unattended without any provisions and an open area
vulnerable to predators.
In many households today, children are left unattended for hours,
with few limitations on what they can and can't do, even when adults
are present in the house. With the proliferation of media and
devices, including TV streaming services, video games, the
internet and social media. Children have free rein to consume
and explore beyond any reasonable limit and often suffer great
detriment to their mental, emotional, physical and spiritual
well being. The latest Pew Research survey about children and
technology published in 2020 suggests that parents are
overwhelmed and struggling to find a balance. Fully 71% of parents of
a child under the age of 12. Say they are concerned their child
might be spending too much time in front of screens. Not
surprisingly, however, when asked about their own screentime usage,
more than half of parents overall 56% say they spend too much time
on their smartphone, while about seven and 10 68% say they are at
least sometimes distracted by their phone when spending time
with their children.
A shepherd must not only care for and manage the provisions of his
or her flock, but they must also lead them to safe pastures look
out vigilantly for predators and return them unharmed. A parent
whose eyes are fixated at a screen and not on their children is
incapable of leading themselves or their children to anything but
harm.
mindful parenting is equivalent to prophetic parenting. It is to be
fully present and aware, playful when appropriate, but serious
otherwise and always vigilant against danger and harm. mindful
parenting is also
to actively struggle against one's ego, or knifes, and embody
prophetic character, which is a vast subject that must be properly
studied, but a glimpse of which has been beautifully summarized by
segnale radula one who said,
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was always Ceri of
disposition, easygoing and compassionate. He was not born
fish or coarse or raucous or vulgar, or critical, he did not
overpraise or just and he would ignore that which he disliked. He
would not damage the hopes of anyone who hoped for something
from him, and they would not be disappointed. He withheld from
himself three things debate, access, and that which did not
concern him and he withheld from the people three things, he would
never criticize or disparage anyone, he would not seek to to
shame anyone, and he would not speak about anything unless he
hoped to be rewarded by Allah for
the prophesies that was consistently virtuous with
everyone he encountered. As a father, he showered his children
with love and affection, while modeling excellence at all times.
Many stories from the theater bring to life how he treated
children delicately played with them, joked with them, and
empathize with them. Whether he was praying and his grandchildren
were climbing his noble back, or he was consoling a young boy who
lost a pet or he was lovingly greeting his beloved daughter and
walking hand in hand with her. He was fully aware of the children in
his orbit, and gave every one of them their do the right to be
seen, heard and shown love and compassion, while simultaneously
being taught and directed to virtue.
As our beloved sallallahu alayhi wa sallam taught us, among the
rights that children have over their parents is a sound and solid
education, one that edifies and leads to upright character, and
God consciousness. Without the ability to empathize and
understand the needs of children at different stages. Many parents
unwittingly do the opposite, and cause more harm than they may
realize. One of the most potent gifts that parents especially the
mother is given, for example, is the another a powerful affirming
gaze that translates to love and compassion. Imam Al Ghazali Rahim
Allah mentioned the importance of parents closely observing young
children in this way. He first shares an old proverb. Your child
is like a sweet fragrance to you. You adore them for their first
seven years, then you busy them for the next seven, and then
depending on their upbringing, they become either your enemy or
your companion. He also states anytime the child does a
praiseworthy act or exhibits a beautiful characteristic, he must
be honored, given a reward pleasing to Him and praised in
front of everyone. If he does something contrary to that just on
one occasion, it must be overlooked and ignored, and he
should not be exposed.
This sagely advice highlights the importance of parents, closely
monitoring their children and inculcating virtue with positive
reinforcement. Children Deprived of this type of attention and
encouragement during the developmental years, can and often
do suffer later on in other ways. A study conducted in 2012 at
Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, actually
found that school aged children whose mothers nurtured them early
in life had a 10% increased hippocampus, the brain structure
associated with learning memory and response to stress. In
contrast, the hippocampus was smaller and older children whose
mothers were less supportive during the preschool years, even
if their mothers became more supportive when the children were
older.
The positive and long term impact of parental love when it is
consistent and readily given is undeniable. Parents who are
attuned to their children's needs as well as the nuances in their
personalities and temperaments and who possess a general knowledge of
the stages of child development will have far more success,
maintaining healthy and peaceful homes. Imam Abdullah Zadie again
Rahim Allah has stressed the importance of parents and anyone
who is a caregiver to children knowing about temperament theory,
and fact he believed that a person who hasn't mastered the signs of
MISA edge temperament theory should never be allowed to teach
children
Parents who take the time to understand children according to
their nature and constitution, which is what temperament theory
teaches, and then use that knowledge to direct them to
virtuous behavior. Display far more empathy, a hallmark quality
of our beloved Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam apparent with
empathy. We'll know for example, how to distinguish between a child
who is outgoing and highly energetic, and one who is more
contemplative and quiet. They will also know that some children are
strong willed and defiant, while others are meek and highly
sensitive. Having this knowledge will prepare them to react to
their children in accordance with their spiritual and developmental
needs, and help them to become more harmonized and aligned with
the perfect balance of our beloved Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam. This degree of mindful and attentive parenting, coupled with
a great deal of prayer will help parents circumvent the onslaught
from outside the home, which aims to undermine their authority and
wreak havoc in their homes.
Parents must also take great precautions when choosing what
type of schooling they provide their children.
While in the past, public schools may have been defended as
innocuous and convenient. Today, in the wake of major social
changes, they are no longer a tenable choice for families who
wish to preserve their faith practice. Children who attend
public schools today across every demographic and socio economic
line are exposed to all types of inappropriate behavior, divisive
ideology, and a slew of temptations that are directly
antithetical to the principles and values of Islam. Imam Yusuf never
hernia Rahim Allah wrote a book in which he prohibited sending Muslim
children to Christian schools, on the grounds that they could easily
be misguided or become confused. secular schools today which are
entirely devoid of any mention of God, and are increasingly overrun
by a pervasive progressive liberal culture, vehemently hostile toward
religion, are a much more significant threat to our
children's faith. Many school districts and private schools have
already adopted liberal left ideological changes to their
school curriculum, as well as every other aspect of their
institutions, including school policies, hiring and training
practices, and a complete overhaul of the school culture. For
conservative parents and religious families, this translates to their
children not only being exposed to, but actively conditioned by
dangerous, postmodern ideologies every day. The wave of drag queen
storytime and public libraries and schools across our nation in
recent years has rightfully caused some controversy, but it's just
the tip of the iceberg. What's more concerning and insidious is
the rapid cultural changes both in and outside of our schools. One
side effect of the continual attack on tradition, authority and
hierarchy is that dress codes and policies around student behavior
and language have been almost entirely revoked. Aside from
showing genitalia or wearing blatantly profane clothing,
students can dress and behave however they like. It is quite
common to find students of all ages, in elementary, middle and
high schools, cursing openly wearing headphones devices in
class vaping, or using recreational drugs on school
grounds, do include tick tock trends, undermining their teachers
and administrators and showing PDA or even openly performing sexual
acts with each other at schools all across the country. Attempts
to implement stricter policies or enforce rules that would prevent
some of these behaviors are often deemed oppressive and
authoritarian by students who are often just capitalizing on the
liberal left wave sweeping the country.
Muslim parents then must seek out alternative schooling options,
like private Islamic schools, online programs, or homeschooling
coops or programs. These options may seem drastic to some, but many
people have become disillusioned by public schools and are seeking
alternatives. A recent data analysis study by The Associated
Press reported a rise in homeschooling over the past few
years in the 18 states that share data through the current school
year. There was a 63% increase in homeschooling during the 2020 2021
school year, with only a decrease of 17% for the 2021 2022 school
year. The national home Education Research Institute estimates that
There were two and a half million homeschool students pre pandemic
in the spring of 2019 or approximately 3%. But for
2020 2021 The estimate is 3.7 million or about 6%. Finally, the
US Census Bureau reported the percentage of households with
school aged children attending homeschool doubled from March of
2020 to March of 2021, from 5.4% to 11.1%. And the Home School
Legal Defense Association estimates that today, seven to 8
million children are being homeschooled.
Muslim parents living in the West who work hard every day, to
provide for their children, care for their family, and secure their
future must never forget that true success cannot be achieved except
through our Creator. We can accumulate an abundance of wealth
and collect nice things. But unless we prioritize our faith,
and protect our children and families from the evils of this
world, then surely we will have failed. Allah subhanho wa Taala
says yeah, you Hello Lena, Manuel poo and forsaken were Alikum
naira. Oh you who believe Save yourselves and your families from
a fire.
The flames of evil are growing day by day, but they cannot reach
those protected by the cooling wind of God's providential care.
May we always be mindful of our words, thoughts and actions, and
may our hearts be firm, our limbs be upright, and upon the path of
our beloved Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and our homes be
places of his remembrance and praise. Amin Chisago Mullah Hayden
was Salam alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
I pray you are making the most of this blessed month of reveal a
while and taking the benefit of zaytuna colleges offerings in the
form of these programs on the mindful messenger sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam. Hopefully you plan to gradually follow the
footsteps of our beloved, Prophesy centum and cultivate mindfulness
in your life. I urge you to follow zaytuna College, his YouTube
channel and support the 12,000 Strong program to strengthen the
college for future generations. Just knock them alone.