Hosai Mojaddidi – Q&A With Female Muslim Scholars
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AI: Transcript ©
All right, so we handle out the Online team who's been working
to help our online viewers send me questions. So I'm going to start
there because they
have patiently endured our breaks and such.
Their first question, which is a very common question, do you have
book recommendations to learn more about these beautiful women who we
spoke up today?
I'm assuming they want English book recommendations if you can.
Just simply, I'm answering May Allah forgive me just because we
finished last year a whole class. It was a whole year class agenda
Institute, where we covered first is the we call it the poles around
the Roswell resort. Awesome. So we covered the woman around the
Roswell resort was including his wives and his daughters. There's
more than one book The for those of you who read Arabic, one of the
most beautiful and I'm sure you know it is
been to shatter the Torah Aisha, it's called say that to be Tinubu
it's an Arabic so you got to be Tinubu it's not translated. Right
however, is a very common very good books actually. Woman in
Islam. It's written by Dr. Clark Sweden, very easy read this is it
for those of you who don't know much yet, just you want to read
very easy, a nicely written I think it's written originally in
English because you can tell. So it's called woman in Islam. That's
one so you'd have to read the new boys the second one.
There was a woman around rasool Allah salatu. Salam, it I didn't
find it as a book. But you can hopefully you can find it meaning
PDF, but not a real book. There's a lot of resources about that. I
recommend for all of you to start with start with the woman in
Islam, by the top out of Sweden, it's very easy read and we'll give
you a lot. The idea. And please forgive me if I'm gonna add a
little bit it's not to read a lot. Read with depth.
Read, as you really want to know, who is this woman, you know, we
gave you like, just a little bit. Today, just like a little bit
examples, go in depth, spend an hour or two with every page and
feel it. And then Allah subhanaw taala will, will open it for you
the next question is specifically about
who to study with. And I think one of the amazing things that we have
before you we have many organizations present today.
And all women, so you're safe wherever you go on this panel
Hamdulillah.
So maybe if you I'm just gonna pass the mic, we'll start with,
we'll start from my right, because you're on my right. And then we're
just going to where you teach, and how people can best contact you.
If they want to see what you're doing in terms of teaching
someone I come I have literally nothing to me. These are literally
teachers I'm so embarrassed to be here. I have a class on Swiss,
which is looking at the Hadith and ayat that women have frequently
asked about relating to women. And then there is also
projects I'm working on inshallah they're gonna be released next
year. But that's the only one that you can access online. I'm going
to so stop now
how did I just moved here in August, so our Holika on Stanford
campus, so if you're on in the area, it's every Thursday 636 30
As long as the quarter is in session, Chawla we're actually
covering the seat which is really exciting.
I really excited that you're there.
100 sorry, there's some Cal Berkeley and Stanford rivalry
going on up here.
Okay, hands it into Michelle Law Foundation welcomes everybody and
sha Allah for you all to join us. The Holika is our user this one,
because on Friday nights, they start at 8pm they have been for
the last couple of years virtual in sha Allah there's a possibility
if please make dua if it works out in sha Allah that we might have a
hybrid model starting in January. For those of you who have been
part of the Holika as we meet in that conference room right there,
Michelle, every Friday night so we hope you'll come back and join us
in person again. And for those who aren't able to we'll do them
continue to do them virtually as well. Inshallah, to Allah that
means also the girls programs please make dua out because for
about 10 years non stop we've had girls follicles as well apparel
well with the woman, so we hope inshallah those will resume, be in
love with your dollars. And then Rama Foundation recently also
started their Holika is on clubhouse for those of you who are
on that app, too. So make sure that you're following either on
the Zoom or on the clubhouse inshallah for our help, because
we also have a lot of classes on the website. If you are looking to
take like a full series, or something very focused, you can go
to the website, all of its free. And you can take a whole course
that way as well. I don't want to forget the website. And then
where do you teach? Why are you seven? She's everywhere.
They come everyone. So
does that give us good? Thank you. Michelle, you understood the
assignment you
did a lot. So I teach here at MCC Thursday, the last Thursday of
every month and have dinner we have a sister socket open to all
it's a total open door policy. I actually do it only monthly
because I know we have so many time constraints, it's hard to do
something consistent. You're free to come and go as you like
Merhaba. I also have clubhouse that I'll be starting new sessions
actually this coming week. I'm doing two classes and have the lab
by a by the permission of Sheikh Hamza, which are the purification
of the heart of the diseases of the heart, as well as agenda to
change our condition. Both of these he's translated in Britain
both of those books. So those are on Tuesdays and Thursdays it's on
clubhouse it's very simple. If you don't have the app, I personally I
know I actually saw some social media related questions. Social
media, as we know is a very dark and toxic place generally
speaking, but there are some what I call like light or lampposts you
know some places where there's some light clubhouse can certainly
be one of those I know my shoulders shift mme does tick tock
and Instagram She's amazing. She's She's everywhere. May Allah give
her dolphin blesser Bella, Hey, I am so comforted when I see her in
these spaces, because she is a huge lamppost. But on clubhouse it
is a space it's a safe space. So I welcome all of you to look into
that. It'll be starting this Tuesday and Thursday, Pacific
Standard Time, one o'clock on Tuesday and on Thursday, four
o'clock. Inshallah. That's all. So how many come? We have to
institute some of you I know are taking classes with us. There is
two ways you take classes with us. There is the Quran we call it the
Quran department where you can memorize or learn to tweet our OB
or in English. And we have one page with an order. Then we have
the Islamic studies where we have been running classes for years now
and Hamdulillah. Just this year, we started in September year of
knowledge, which is a one year program with every Muslim woman
should learn and recover to five topics to science of the Quran,
Hadith, Teskey, and Arcada. We are about to finish our first semester
starting in sha Allah afterwards, if you want to join email me, the
team will kill me but that's okay. But you have to all the all our
classes are online Subhanallah because we don't woman, it's not
very easy for them. So everything is online. And then they are also
recorded, or the books are online. And we teach traditional way you
read the book, we read the book in the class, and we explain it. And
also we have our free Tuesday programs. Some of you, you
probably know this, it's on YouTube. Every Tuesday we have
Tuesday program. Most of the speakers here, were actually
guests, we try to have once a week or once a month or twice a month,
guest speaker woman and the others I do it we tackle different
topics. This is what I will say at the end you want to learn. Allah
will open it for you. And this is exactly how I was advised 20 years
ago. Ask Allah since he you want to learn, but put this next to it.
It's not an easy journey. He will test you in every step. And you
have to keep going and be consistent, be sincere, and he
will open to you without you knowing where to start.
So now
I've been away for 30 years. So I'm here on my short visit only.
But I do want to say that Subhanallah
it is something that really gives me Yeah, it's a coolness to my
eyes and a pleasure to my heart to see after 30 years so many Muslim
scholars and knowledgeable women doing all this Dawa work
hamdulillah
a
couple of questions about dealing with oppressive family where
they're not allowing women to be treated as they should be treated
as Muslim women. So they've heard you say wonderful things about the
rank and status of Muslim women. What about when the experience at
home with family or at work or with friends is not that way? What
should be the response?
So now I did come smeller Ha, Rahim.
I mean, this is a very
general question, I would have to know exactly are you talking
about? A husband or a father? Or a boss? Exactly what is it that
isn't going? What is it? That's difficult difficult? Is it a
difficulty? Or is it abuse? Is it a parent? Or is it a husband? For
each one of these, there's a different answer. In case of a
marriage, you have a way out, if there's real abuse going on, if
it's just your normal,
difficult person, Subhan Allah, Allah taught us women, how to
defuse such situations and how to work as a team, with our spouses,
no matter how difficult they are, if they're normal, difficult
people, not people that have problems
in telling us to obey your husband, Spangler, that is when
when a situation comes to his word or mind just to give in to
something that is not so major, is something that makes him feel that
he's still in charge, and that makes him a softer human being.
And more you know, you're dealing with with someone that has
kindness towards you, and it is not a fighting you. But
Subhanallah Allah to constantly wage a war and a battle in, in a
marriage, for who's where it is going to be, who's who's who has
the last word on, on everything is toxic, the environment becomes
toxic. And so it's you know, it's up to you whether you are going to
realize that this human being has been put up, let chose this man,
to be under your care. Someone who has fought so do you, but it's
someone who needs your acceptance and needs your patience and needs,
your love and needs your kindness in order for him to become
a stable,
fulfilled human being that can give back to you what you have
poured into him, perhaps no guarantee, but the reward is with
Allah Subhana Allah, Allah, what is it that helps women and doesn't
let you feel that you are
a victim, when you're in such a relationship, the idea of you're
obeying Allah subhanaw taala you're not obeying this human
being, every relationship in Islam is a triangle. It's you and Allah
subhanaw taala and then that other human being, so when you're
obeying Him, it's not because he deserves to be obeyed. Sometimes
you're wiser and more intelligent and you have more knowledge and
more experience. It's because Allah subhanaw taala asked you to
do so and I'll ask you to do so in order that you can live a peaceful
life little by little, you will see that he becomes a more
balanced person towards you.
If it's a parent, then it's a different story. You cannot
divorce a parent. And I've heard of toxic relationships, you know,
with toxic parents Subhanallah I don't subscribe to this, I know
that Allah Subhana Allah asked us to to treat them in the best
manner possible, and know that everything that you are going
through, and the most difficult parents are the old parents, the
older they get, the more set in their ways the more childlike
their behavior.
Therefore what I'm saying is, if it's a parent, being good to that
parent, despite all their difficulties and hardships and the
hardship they're putting you under is something that you are gaining
the closeness getting closest to Allah Subhana Allah through, if
it's a boss at work, while some difficulty can be put up with
there's no place that's perfect, but you can find another place so
what I'm saying is, what relationship are you talking about
specifically, but the most important thing is for you to know
that any relationship is a triangle, you're dealing with
Allah subhanaw taala before you give a reaction to the other
person, it's not a tit for tat
to circle Okay, everybody wants to said I'm going to ask at one thing
as polite I was planning to say it but now Allah made me remember the
same two they say it's totally man I've been a hotel secondary call
me hi to apama Killa What am I call Maka Hydra Carmack, your
place is where he puts you in.
You know what that means?
So if he puts you as if he put you as a wife, that means he wants you
to be serving him him, not your husband as a wife. No, I didn't
mean this. He put you as a single mother or a single woman. That
means you are His servant in that status. So abusive. And I woman
come to me a lot about this. I have only one line. I said, Where
are you more pleasing to Allah? Inside this marriage or outside
this marriage?
If you are more pleasing to Allah and say this marriage meaning you
can take it you are absolutely patient and you look at your
accurate then you stay if you are not even if there is not really a
lot of abuse, she just can't stay than absolutely exactly what she
has chosen said put a lot number one in your formula.
Difficult parents that's the toughest one
because this is there is no plus and minus mafia. It's in the
Quran. Wa darbuka Allah taboo. My bill Walid any son, he made he put
it together Allah had decreed your worship not but him and treat your
parents with excellence so and then he specified because you know
when it's gonna get tough in my blue one nine Decker Kibera huduma
Akira when one of them are both get to the old age. And you know
how difficult it is with an old age parents especially these days
fanatical Lahoma have
to say of so what do I do it's very difficult sister I say turn
to Allah. So Young Yes sir. Yes, your Allah you are the one who
makes things easy. Make it easy. Do you think he will not listen to
you?
He wouldn't have this relationship. Cry to him moron to
him. So there is choice and there is no choice and Allah will make
things easy.
Microphone has to go here. Have a happy question.
Okay, good.
Just because this is an online question, sister, Julie, and
Sister Lisa, are asking how do I become a Muslim woman? How am I to
dress to come to the masjid for the first time? How do I convert?
So if you are in the East Bay, we welcome you to come and see San
Jose who's who's here who will meet you anytime. Day or night.
If you aren't Yeah, so just let us know message us and we can connect
you to somebody where you are. We can virtually beat you now. You
can do your will put anybody you want before you. So Dr. Haifa will
come in person. We are happy to welcome you into our community.
There's no special uniform to come to Islam.
Just the heart right is ready. If you're ready. We are welcome. We
are welcoming you to join our community. Isn't that a happy
questions?
Hamdulillah.
Yeah, keep the questions coming.
Let's see. Let me try to find another happy question.
So I gave each of you a stack if you can look at your stack and do
an overall answer kind of with your questions. We'll go all the
way down. Yeah, we'll start with you. We'll go all the way down
because we're hitting up on on mob.
Okay, so I had a few questions that were related to rebuilding a
connection with Allah, this kind of summarizes the themes of those
questions.
What are realistic baby steps we can take to get in closer to God
when you feel terrible about your spirituality effort and your
relationship to God. One of the important things that
I think many of us underplay is how much individuals can impact
how we feel about ourselves in our relationship with Allah subhanaw
taala. So if you are as a child were constantly hit to read the
Quran. Or maybe you had a teacher who spiritually abused you in some
way. And Dr. RANIA is the expert on this, may Allah bless her, when
you have a relationship with Islam that started with parents who used
Hellfire to threaten you, to get you to go to bed on time. Like
when Islam has been used in these ways, which is not from the
revelation. It's not from the Sunnah, to teach a slam in these
very, literally painful ways. A lot of times as an adult, you can
have an aversion May Allah protect us to prayer to chocolate or n.
And I've I've encountered so many people who asked me this, like how
do they process wanting a relationship, when the beginning
of the relationship started with a very painful experience? And the
first thing to recognize is the fact that you want a relationship
speaks to how strong your love is for a law, that despite what
you've gone through, you haven't said Islam thus. Hello, may Allah
protect us all. I've met many people who have made this
statement that they don't they don't want to associate. I mean,
the fact that you want to as a sign of the strength that you want
your Eman to be, you want it to go in that direction. The second
thing is realize that sometimes we project the way that we feel about
ourselves
is on to Allah subhanho wa taala. So if I don't like myself if I
loathe myself, if I can't get over a sin I committed 567 years ago,
months ago, weeks ago, and I'm constantly making Toba and I
can't, I can't I can't even imagine unless I'm tall forgiving
me. And so I assume that because I hate myself so much. That's how it
was put on what to Allah sees me. So then I've met people who say
that they feel embarrassed to pray because they don't think Allah
subhanaw taala would want them to pray, because they're not
righteous enough for prayer. For every type of worship, someone has
said this, whether it's a law or a job, or walking into msgid space,
versus Allah subhanahu. It's either keeps telling us that
anytime we go back to him, we are sincere and repentance, he accepts
and he forgives, and that we do good deeds to wipe out the bat. So
realistically, look at yourself and think about where does this
feeling stemmed from some of us are really just caught up in life,
we're caught up in life are impacted by social media, we're
just caught up in the dunya. That's very human. But for others,
there's some reason why examine what that is for you. And work on
healing yourself from a spiritual place with the help of Allah
subhanaw taala. So what that looks like is a for example, working
with a Muslim therapist, if you've actually gone through trauma. The
second thing is creating you experiences with worship. You
don't let someone who raised you or who did not raise you like a
parent, but like maybe they were your Islamic school teacher,
teacher, someone who when you were 13, who did something so horrific,
you've never told anyone, they don't get to say whether or not
you're going to pray when you're 27 don't give them that power. You
have the power by Allah subhanho wa taala. His will to choose to
pray today. Don't give anyone that level of, of, of importance in
your head when Allah subhanaw taala is the one who can help you
overcome everything. So you choose it's going to be your relationship
with Allah subhanho wa Taala and you build new experiences with
that relationship. So let's say when you used to read Quran, it
was in a very, you know, in a very particular room, choose to read
the Quran on the beach, read of Quran on a cafe, read of Kota and
taking a hike, re establish new experiences with the Quran, so
that your brain makes new neurotic experiences with that, that
worship and make sure you have very consistent worship. Obviously
we have Salah and we have the total. But beyond that, number one
read the Quran every single day. I didn't know Arabic, I read it in
English, the Quran changed my life, changed my life in English
until I learned Arabic. So every single day, take a certain amount
in whatever language you can understand if you can read Arabic
to do it, even if you're super slow. Do it every day one verse
five verses one page consistently. That's the first thing. The second
thing there's a very beautiful book on Sierra. It's called
Muhammad man and Prophet peace be upon him. It's by Atul Salafi Adi
LSALH. I like over 800 pages, but it's so beautiful about the
Sierra, I really recommend going to that book for this you know,
and for a Quran translation I recommend Mustafa hot top Dr.
Mustafa hiltop has a beautiful new translation Masha Allah. And the
third thing is work with mentors. Find sisters, mentors share a lot
that you can study with. Because a lot of times you're gonna go to a
random assignment website to ask about a woman's question. And
you're gonna walk away from there going, how do I process that
answer? instead seek mentorship with real people who have
Institute's you can study with Dr. haisa Like how honorable is that
Masha Allah with a set of Maasai with NC Sosin. With with Dr. With,
with Dr. Rania with a set I'm Nina, these are people these are
women who are really here if you're here to support your
process, inshallah. So make sure that you know that you don't have
to go through this journey alone and that anytime you doubt
yourself, remember, if you doubt yourself, and you wonder, where
are you with a lot, it's because you care about Allah subhanaw
taala. So now what do you do? You reevaluate yourself? I'm here,
what can I do to get to a higher place until you reach that place?
What can I do to get higher and higher and higher? And shall
listen to it for the sake of Allah?
Spend that it's really hard to talk after people that are your
heroes.
Literally, no.
No, no, but following up on that one of the questions unfortunately
says what do you do when you feel unworthy of God's love? You are
worthy, you are worthy, you are worthy. These aren't my words.
This is the prophets myself telling us this. When we talk
about the angels, it's scary. You know what, what if you're an
important person, there's people that write everything you do.
Allah created angels to write what you do.
You are so worthy Subhanallah I remember going to a session and
and I remember the scholar saying, Allah loves everyone. Some people
realize it, some people don't
The question isn't if Allah loves us, the only question is if we are
able to realize ALLAH SubhanA Dallas love Allah has been feeding
you he's been clothing you he's been giving you people that love
you since the second you were born.
How can I can now come and say Allah doesn't love me? Even those
who disobey Allah Allah feeds and closes close them to
love loves you that is the default Subhanallah I think we also make
it so difficult of like, oh, I need to do this. And one day I'm
going to learn r&b And I'm going to memorize the Quran and then I'm
going to get it you know what you should do? Make?
Just ask. You're asking the creator of the universe.
There's nothing that he can't do. Just ask. And that diet you can
walk over that's the It's the essence of all of our worship
everything you're doing essence of it. Haskell must pentagon and
there is no barrier. Why are we creating stupid barriers? There
isn't one. Allah subhanaw taala tells us if you walked in your
hands like that come to you and arms like you come on your arms
like that. Gama yards like you come to me walking, I come to you
running, just go. Just ask Allah. And every step you take for the
sake of Allah subhana data, it's not a matter of like, oh, I need
to do more. No, it's a matter of quality of focusing. Someone was
saying with all the distractions of 2021 What can I do?
This isn't the district there always been distractions like the
Muslims, they became Muslim under literally threatened against their
lives.
Alhamdulillah it's so easy for us. All we have to do is ask just ask
them what? Ask with sincerity of like, you know, bring me closer to
you. What's the path? Which way?
You're not pointing in the direction that pleases you.
And be honest, follow that path to Panama. There was sorry, there was
another question just about saying the photomultiplier about being
me. We talked a little bit about motherhood in the reason we talk
about this is this is the most obvious example of love that we
witnessed as human beings.
And sometimes your mother is difficult and you end up in
therapy for years. I don't want to discredit that. But as a general
rule, when you see a mother like her babies throwing up in her and
she's like, Oh, isn't this the cutest thing in the world?
It is mind boggling on Allah.
It's that depth of love that she gave to her father, so Melania
sent him she gave to everyone around her. It doesn't necessarily
have to be a blood relation. I have like there's so many lambda
there's so many both men and women in my community where I'm like, I
think you should do this with your life. I think you're great at
this. And I'm so grateful that they take it from me like who's
this crazy lady that's telling you what to do with their with my
life. hamdulillah but part of that love I'm going to sorry, I'm going
to end with this because it's my one of my favorite stories from
this year. The prophets, I send them during the Hijra. There's a
moment where they're trying to pass the their guides telling them
like why do you feel like they're doing the hijra, so if you like if
you capture them, you and your family are gonna be rich for the
rest of your lives. And the prophets I send them they're
trying to go around the place and the their guide tells them we
can't go through the crevice of the mountains there's two thieves
that are right here. This is their spot.
The prophesy Center says oh, that's people I can talk to. So he
goes between the covers of the two mountains and he starts calling up
to them saying so as you can imagine the two thieves are
confused. Like you know, we're here and you're what what is
happening? And they come out and they talk to the prophets I send
them and he asked them what are your names and they say where the
two lives? I thought they were calling themselves all lives that
was the name of their tribe gave them that's how bad this was.
And the province listen them says Ben and two man Okay man. No, in
fact you're a dignified
and he speaks with them and he tells them I'm going to Medina
join me in Medina they stopped leaving and became Sahaba
this is what this love does. It sees your potential. It says how
can I help you get there?
You are in fact in incredible creation of Allah subhanaw taala
Do not ever let anyone belittle you, both in the community and out
of the community. I want you to know I got kicked out of my fair
share of misogyny because if you come and tell me women can't pray
here, they're like, I'm like, oh, here, Allahu Akbar. Yell at me
when I'm done.
Because my prophets lie Selim said you're not allowed to ban me from
the masjid also, there's this a lot of time and I can't miss it.
So yell at me when you're done.
When we look at these women, you wouldn't push them for the sake of
Allah Stanadyne and they'd be like, Oh, I'm gonna give up the
space if it's for a low they're gonna do it no matter what.
Terminal what may Allah accept from all of us? Sorry for taking
so long.
Allahu Akbar.
Mashallah, there's a lot of 100 there. The number of questions
that are here are mostly related to mental health and things
related to not surprisingly, mashallah, but things related that
are very important related to either depression or anxiety or
feeling disconnected or feeling like we don't know how to
reconnect, feeling like a man is low. You know, just summarizing
the very
first things we have here in this pile. And one thing that I wanted
to share, and I said this during the talk, and I said, I'm so
excited that one of my own teachers and says, Oh son is here
Subhan Allah, because there are so many lessons that, that I
personally have learned on this topic here. And I'll answer I'll
come to this in just a moment. But one thing that I shared and I just
want to remind us, I mentioned in the talk, that when you feel that
there's something really heavy, and it's really difficult. The
question often when you go to the teachers of spirituality or
teachers of Dean, they often will ask, What have you done about this
so far?
And the answer isn't like, necessarily, step one, two, and
three, those are they're impractical and important, but
it's also having a made to have you talk to Allah subhanaw taala
the people close to Allah would say, if it really, really is that
big of a deal for you, then it's something you get up in the middle
of the night and pray about and you make your to hedge should any
call out to Allah subhanaw taala otherwise, is it really all that
big of a deal? Right, and we talked about how the Prophet
sallallahu wasallam would go little by little by little
increasing, increasing, increasing until it became large amounts of
time, because closer to the prophecy before he got in number
one, to a lot of hate, to do what to contemplate to do that to
affect code, a contemplation people like to use the word
meditation we have our own word which is called contemplative
meditation, right kind of connecting with Allah Subhan Allah
to Allah. And all of us have that all day we spent here today
mashallah together all of us together.
We happen to be in the masjid often were in these conference
rooms or other rooms as women. And we recommend the concept of RTF
the concept of that spiritual seclusion, having that time alone
with alone, what I learned from si selsun was so beautiful, this
concept of the pressure cooker,
which is that we all for anybody who's used the pressure cooker,
essay would tell us that there is that valve that allows the steam
to go out. And if you don't have the valve opened, what happens to
the pressure cooker?
It explodes. And I remember my own grandmother's kitchen
there was this huge thing on the ceiling because once she had a
pressure cooker that exploded one of the old time ones and she was
terrified of it whenever use it again. And every time I would hear
answers tell the story everything to myself, yes, if you don't have
the valve to let the steam out, you too will explode regardless of
how good or not good things have been. Even good things cause you
to be tired and fatigued. And that pressure cooker valve is the
Attica
it's the time you spend in isolation of the law subhanaw
taala that you spend alone that you beseech Him and call to him
and connect with him. We don't have that many people who do this
because I know in every time we've been in that conference hall we've
talked about attic F and I've asked a roomful of women just as
much as this room and more. How many of you have made out to Caf
in your life?
Let's see.
Yes, a little look about a little liquid a little bit.
The hands are more because of the law here in years past it would be
one hand to hand to 300 out of 100 woman
now we're seeing mashallah more hands because this concept has
become more well known. But a woman not just the man should also
be doing this attic if this kind of spiritual connectedness with
Allah subhanaw taala Wallahi these are some of the routes of how do
you pick up your email again, one of the questions was How do I pick
up email and again, talk to
anything that's important for you, you make time for it.
Right? You want that degree you want that job you want your kid to
do this you want that you want this you want that you want to
lose weight you want to work out you you make time for it if it's
important to you.
Is this connection important to us? That's the real question.
Because from there then we can build and the rest of the question
this is where I'll wrap up inshallah. The rest of the answer
to the questions about what do I do if I'm feeling depressed? What
do I feel if I'm feeling anxious? What do I do if I know fill in the
blank?
Connecting with Allah subhanaw taala is where we start the
conversation. But do you remember the second thing I said about the
prophets of Allah Juana he was setting them.
But he had that connectedness with the last pots Allah when it was
heavy, he went and isolated and had that time to really
rejuvenate. But then what else did he do?
He asked for help. He can find it and sits in a Phoenicia, he went
to her and said, I think I'm going crazy. He went to her and said,
I'm scared. He went to her and said, I don't know what to do
next. And as somebody who was able to have the wisdom and guidance,
she helped guide him in that. But since so many of us we keep it in,
we keep it in we keep it in we keep it in and then like the press
your cooker we explode
and that that affects us and our children and our children's
children and it's a cycle a vicious cycle that just doesn't
end. So inshallah Tada that's those are the beginnings of the
steps in sha Allah there's many more from there but those two will
get us very far and then direct example of the Sunnah of the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
ticket
to Zack and Lafayette and I have just a few questions here that
were related to topics that that are similar to what I cover in the
classes, I was mentioning the purification of the heart and the
agenda, which are, you know, any tips on seeking validation only
and Allah subhanaw taala very difficult to do this age, day and
age, unfortunately, how do we embody beauty inwardly and
outwardly, without becoming prideful, vain or arrogant, so
relating to spiritual diseases? And then other questions as well
relating to not caring about what other people think like really
prioritizing Allah subhanaw taala. And I think, you know, as I would
have answered this in one of the classes, I would have said, we
have to focus on really self purification, because the day and
age that we live in is so focused on the external and as I've
mentioned in the talk, this is a really toxic message that deduces
women to just an object is objectification. It's
exploitation, it's devaluing. It's taking away everything that Allah
subhanaw taala has raised us with and just focusing on the part of
us that is going to go into the ground and literally be worm food.
So we have to know better that the soul that resides within this
case, this shell of a body that we all have, is far more important to
beautify. And that requires Mujahidin knifes, it requires the
Skia process right to actually cleanse yourself and struggle
against yourself. Right? We mentioned that this, even Dr.
Haifa mentioned the DUA right? That to kill the NFC tag for
dying, right? Don't leave me to myself, even for the blink of an
eye because we have to know that self works against us. So
understanding that we the external pressures are actually not as,
don't focus on those, if you focus on those, it's very hard to
manage. But if you look inwardly and say, I have to reconcile
myself, right, my neffs is working against me, my neffs is riddled
with disease, I have to start cleansing. And you don't you know,
as our martial physicians on the stage know best you have to
diagnose, which is why, as you know, Dr. Hyper mentioned, you
have to ask those questions like why am I not doing certain things?
What is the barrier? What's what's preventing me? So, if we're
worried about whether it's prayer, or, again, being vain, and having
pride and arrogance, you have to get to the heart of what is it
that where's the root of those? How did that start, and then also
know how to identify those diseases, right? This is why
learning that, you know, the topic of whiskey is a big part of our
tradition, we have to go back to that learning with the spiritual
diseases are applying the remedies that are offered to us by our
great scholars of the past and present, and just being in the
practice of those things. And then as well, you know, being in spaces
like this, mashallah with other women, so you don't feel alone
shaitan This is one of his tricks, which is also another part of this
understanding that you bliss as the other major threat enemy, we
have the Nemesis, the greatest enemy, then a bliss, then dunya.
And *, if you know, this is a shell of the causal Axis of Evil.
You know, it's a four evils that we are all they're always orbiting
us, and they're always either, you know, around us, we have to
recognize them. But, you know, working to with those two,
especially then that's any bliss, knowing how he works. What's his,
you know, what's his playbook? How does he get into it? So, when you
read if you don't have the book agenda, the shelves and Imams have
outlined what they refer to as the eighth inroads of the spiritual of
the heart, right? What are the access points that at least gets
us to the first one is prayer. Because if we're not vigilant
about our prayer, then you know, obviously, he's going to come in,
he's going to have full rein, he's going to fill you up with a lot of
thoughts and a lot of ideas and just destroy, you know, it's, you
know, plant those weeds to destroy that spiritual garden of your
heart. So you have to, you know, be very mindful of the prayer. And
then what is it your eyes, your ears, your tongue, as was
mentioned, mashallah, all of the beautiful reminders we heard
today, your hands, your feet, your private areas, your stomach, all
of these are inroads. That's how you please get to us. So if you
don't know how to, you know, be vigilant how to guard those, you
don't understand spiritual diseases, then yes, we're going
to, unfortunately accumulate disease the same way a person who
doesn't watch their diet who doesn't exercise, who isn't
mindful of their time starts to accumulate physical diseases. So
it's all very, very similar, but those are the general answers I
would give to all of these and once you shift your focus as
mashallah and say it's awesome reminded us beautifully focus
souci if you don't have your focus on Allah subhanaw taala and you're
worried about people and numbers and you know followers and friends
and trends and being popular and being accepted, then you're going
to have a very difficult time. But if you shift that focus to Allah
and start working on, you know, really healing yourself from
within, inshallah Allah will give you a fair bit in the law. And
just briefly, because I forgot to mention this in the talk, and it
relates to something that Dr. Ahmed answered in her question
regarding does Allah subhanaw taala love me? You know, we were
reminded many times, there are so many people in our history that
are nameless, right? We don't know their names. Like, you know, the
woman who swept the masjid right, in the time of the prophesy said
I'm in the process and was very upset that she had passed. And
they didn't tell him that she passed. He wanted to pray over
her. But we just know her as you know, the woman who swept the
masjid or the hairdresser, right and in as your story,
this hadith just Subhanallah when the prophesy Saddam was
experiencing the Islamic Mirage, okay, he's on the greatest ascent,
right? I mean, he's literally, this is the highlight the peak of
his of his experience, right? I mean, in in that moment, he said,
A smell came to me.
He didn't know the smell. And he asked me this ended up like, what
does that smell? Where did that come from? And he said, that is
the fragrance of the hairdresser.
Of this story of ESEA hearse, her fragrance is in Jana, it's
throughout Jenna, he smelled it, she is significant. So a lot of
times shaytaan makes us feel small and invisible. But we have to
remember it doesn't matter if people know you. And I am sure I
can speak on behalf of everyone here. Just because you know you
have a public a or a public persona. It this is insignificant.
It is does it Allah subhanaw taala Am I prioritizing him, that's all
that matters. That's it. And if you do that you are very you are
known to him, he loves you. It's a and he'll confirm that for you.
But don't look at things from these, this this lens that this
dunya teaches you to see that your value is only placed in your
external your beauty how much wealth you have, how much money
you have, whether you're married, whether you have children,
insignificant, right, insignificant, it's all about
Allah subhanaw taala. And as I said, you know, there may be many
of us who, who, you know, in the future, no one will know us but in
sha Allah, Allah subhanaw taala he of course knows us He made us so
inshallah as I can walk through it, and I'll pass the mic back
to Zachary lucky. So now, there is questions different but I'm going
to cover the woman prayer because that's something It's very
surprising that we're still in the United States where massages are
open to the woman we don't live in a country where it is not instill
some woman don't know that the woman can pray in JAMA.
And I'm not saying about you I hear this all the time is to
opinion about that. There is one opinion says the woman does not
pray in JAMA. And that's absolutely respectable opinion. I
say this all the time. Who are we to judge the scholars? And there
is the other opinion says yes, the woman absolutely and the woman
lead them and say the how she used to lead the woman so if you are of
that school or that other schools you're absolutely fine. And the
other one which is really I'm glad it was asked can we pick up the
child during sada when he's crying my answer, please do.
Because you're annoying the mousseline and this is harming or
misogyny is a sin. Absolutely pick up the child and I think you
mentioned it the story of Syedna assayed affolter When he picked up
Hassan Hussaini prolonged and he sought to ascend and prolong this
subject, because they were on his shoulder so absolutely you can do
that. There was a question came in and lecture from William spoke
about Seder Maryam, is she a prophet? There's a different
opinion about that the strongest opinion she is not remembering has
never been hasm is Allah holy school? Again, without going into
the technicalities of it? It's a school where it goes exactly what
the Quran say just the external meaning that was it's called a
barn, but the stronger opinion that she is not. Prophets were
only men. And there is the answer. Why? You know why? Because Allah
says, so
done. Learn this answer. Ladies. When people ask me why you waited
on a job? My answer is Allah said, so. I don't have to explain it. Of
course, I will later on for other reasons. But number one, why do
you fast Allah sets? Why do you know what your gaze learn? This
teaches you? Submission
teaches you to be a quantity Macedo. Maria. So that's one.
There's two very strange questions, but I have to say it.
Someone told me and I don't know who told you that. When children
do a bad or any good or bad deed, listen to this one as a word with
s which means the reward goes to the Father, not to the mother.
Yeah, you don't
liner Hola Hola, coretec nebula? Why is that? The reward will go to
whoever taught that child
a mother or father both an aunt enable whoever a DA higher profile
you lead, teach people to do good. They will get don't let people put
this in your mind. Lower. Distant I don't know how would this even
now look at the next one a lot. When we sacrifice animals do we
use mother name or fatherly?
What Who are you sacrificing for? You put them? Yeah, but are you
sacrificing it? If you're doing qurbani not enhance? Are you doing
it for somebody else? Then you put that name? There is no need of a
mother or a father?
I think I answered everything.
The last 1am i Okay. We talked about status or Foreman Islam? How
Allah subhanaw taala elevated the woman as equal, this is a very
important question. Why there are there have been such disparity
between the status of men and woman in history. And even today
who said so?
Always ask this question. And you mentioned it beautifully in your
talk. Columna Benny Adam, number one, Allah elevated the status of
a human being. That's why I get so offended. I have a cat. When
somebody looks at me and says, are the mother of the cat? I was like,
oh, to be done?
No, I really mean because that's very common culture. And I was
like, no corona of any human being are elevated. You're a human being
you're elevated. You're honored. That's number one. The status of
men and women, it depends what are you looking at culture? That's not
Dean, learn to separate? There is things that men does. woman
doesn't do? Indeed, yes. hekman. There is wisdom. There's needs
another whole program about that. But as Allah elevated your status
as a mother, I say this all the time? Does the men feel superior
inferior? Because you're a mother?
Why do we feel inferior? If we don't do things the man does? Did
you get my point, don't let this go into you. You have been
elevated status by Allah's pantalla number one as a human
being number two as a woman, a mother or not a mother, but in
general, in his own way. Subhanallah and we are equal in
the reward and what we are going to be asked about.
We're just hitting up on multiply. Okay, really, really quickly.
All of the questions I have, are about family. I have given the
sacredness of the bond between mother and daughter, what does it
mean?
Or look like to please others pantalla by setting boundaries and
pulling away from a mother that is abusive and cruel. I have another
one that is similar. How as a Muslim woman, do you resolve
working with immediate extended family that are not Muslims are
not practicing individuals?
And give us tips on how to raise children? Okay, that's a different
question.
I want to say one thing about family because there's more
questions here about family, you are stronger than you think you
are more powerful than you imagine. Take Charge. Take Charge,
I don't understand why we there are women that spend half of their
lives waiting to get married, and then half of their second half of
their lives complaining about this, this the person they
married. If you agreed to go into this relationship, then love this
person, be kind to this person, contain this person, be there for
this person, make peace in this family. The whole idea of family
in Islam is for there to be a peaceful place to raise children.
If you're not up to it, then to start with, either don't get
married or pull out of a marriage, if you if you possibly can do so,
without without great disasters happening to all the members, you
are stronger than you think. Take Charge. You are the person that
sets the emotional environment of this family. You can make it
peaceful, you can give this man what they need in order for him
not to feel threatened and and aggressive. You can give you can
create an environment where the children can grow in a peaceful
manner without feeling
like they live in a place that has no walls.
If you have a strong relationship with Allah, your strength Where
does your strength and power come from? From Allah Subhana Allah. So
if you turn to Allah subhanaw taala my mother in law had 11
Children 10 which lived and one day when my children were given me
particular hard time I went to him I said, please tell me what is it?
What is it that you did? What is the secret that you had these 10
Very, very successful children five
men who are there is five men who are all physicians and very
upright men. What did you do? And she said, Come let me show you.
She said, I read lots of books. And I heard lots of theories. But
come let me show you the secret. And she took me into her bedroom
and she said, you see this narrow strip? Between my closet and my
bed? I said, Yes. She said, I spend hours there praying every
night.
It is dark.
Connect with Allah and see the power that you have. Take charge
of the family, feel pity and kindness and empathy, not pity
empathy for this cruel mother. Why is she cool? What kind of a wife
did she have? That she would be cruel to her child? So you're
going to you want to, I mean, hold a grudge against someone that is
is denying you the most spontaneous and natural feeling
ever. Take Charge. Make the places that you live in and the places
that are around you. Happy Places, peaceful places, places where
Allah subhanaw taala has written upon handle.
Happy news update. Sister Edelen who is in charge I believe of
convert care here at MCC has contacted sister Liz and sister
Julie sister Liz is in Oakland sister.
Julie is in Sacramento. And I think they've taken their shahada
is by now because it's been seven minutes or
so.
So hamdulillah it's always nice to end the program that way. I wish
they were here. Yes, I wish they were here so that we can hug and
kiss them and give them all our love and ask for their daughters
if you're still listening
Subhan Allah remind me of the hadith of Roswaal a sloth was
like yeah, de la who vicarage wooden wide highroller coming from
Rania to log it through you one person. This he said this was a
naughty way better than all the heard of a RED camera which is
very expensive these days. May Allah reward everyone who put any
effort in this. This is not because of the speakers only. Now,
this is because of the idea. Number one Allah Sophia, number
two the place the board member, the Rama Foundation, Janna
Institute the speakers but most importantly you and I will end
this that was a kickoff what is the Subcommittee on Abdullah? When
you are sincere in pleasing Allah see what he gives you? Did we
expect this that we came to plan this you have to Lucky he opens to
you from where you don't know have this faith and see what one does
he guided through one one day these people he will guide your
children and when he God many other people won't be the Quran.
We need to do such a choker at the end for Talas, Panther.
I have one more piece of happy news Michelle law.
One of our dear local teachers on Sunday had some of you may know
her. Michelle law is currently in Madina Munawwara currently
visiting the prophets of Allah Hana, he was salam and was
messaging with Sister Sabine earlier and knew that we were all
gathered here and so she relates a noun to the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam directly to frog on behalf of us directly to him
some of Allahu Allah He was sitting on May Allah bless an
increase and allow us all to be joined there inshallah next time
gathered there visiting him and visiting inshallah that Bucca
salam ala see that
hamdulillah if you want to partake in the planning of this event, all
you have to do is take your chair
and put it back in the conference room and you are an organizer of
this event inshallah taking the blessing of the shadows and the
knowledge that was imparted today but we are going to do closing DUA
and then mother had been shot Allah
good good.
I'm gonna make time for
I asked yes
not good. I don't do this in public.
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