Hosai Mojaddidi – An Agenda to Change Our Condition (Session 7)

Hosai Mojaddidi
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss cultural and political reforms that have occurred in the Muslim world, including the loss of appreciation for their own tradition and the need for parents to act as a positive. They emphasize the importance of cultivating family and cultivating family time for children to carry on a positive life. The speakers also emphasize the importance of protecting children from bullying and acknowledging parenting's negative consequences. They end with a reminder of upcoming books on taqwa and a reminder of the book on it.
AI: Transcript ©
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hamdulillah Santa Monica Murat Allah here but to get to Bismillah

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R Rahman r Rahim Al hamdu lillah wa Salatu was Salam, O Allah MBI

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mursaleen se then our Mo Lana, where have you been to Muhammad

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sallallahu alayhi wa sallam for Allah Allah, he was talking about

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Olympus women cathedra as salaam alaikum, Warahmatullahi

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Wabarakatuh. Welcome and hamdulillah to all of you,

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brothers and sisters who are out there tuning in to our official

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second Holika here or session on agenda to change our condition. It

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is a text that we have been covering, actually for a few,

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several weeks now. But we started a little differently with the

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appendices in the back of the book. And so we're now reading the

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actual text. So if you don't have the text, I highly encourage you

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to get it. It will be easy to follow along with me but I do have

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slides prepared, which I will bring up in just a moment. But

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here is the book. Again, for anybody who's new tuning in. It is

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a text that is written by Sheikh Hamza Yusuf and Imam Zaid Shakir

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and it is called agenda to change our condition. And again, this is

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our second official reading. So we're very early on into the text

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Alhamdulillah. So I'm going to go ahead and pull up my slides here.

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And that way, we can begin Inshallah,

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if I have one minute here, or one moment, okay. Bismillah.

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So, here we go.

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I apologize. One second. Stop. screenshare. Okay.

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Okay, um, I don't know what happened.

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Let me just sorry, we had it all set up just a second ago. But for

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some reason, I'm getting an error message now. So bear with me

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while I pull this up

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your audio sharing application?

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Okay, I'm not exactly sure why I'm getting this message. But once I'm

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sorry for the inconvenience. We just had everything working fine.

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SubhanAllah?

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Screen because

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if brother said When can you just verify if you can see my screen?

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For some reason. I'm getting

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a strange message.

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Are you able to see it?

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Brother so man, are you there?

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So well, we come on early, and we can. Okay, so I think you've sent

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me a message. Okay, Inshallah, then we're good to go. I

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apologize. I was getting a very strange error message I've never

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seen before. So I'll have to do that. Alright, let's go ahead and

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begin. So, again, the last week or last time, it's been about two

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weeks now, since we meet every other week, we started reading the

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text. We were very much in the beginning of, you know, of this

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text.

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I'm sorry, one more second, I'm going to fullscreen it so that we

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don't have any issues with the display. Okay, so now in Shaba, we

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should be good to go. Anyhow, Alhamdulillah, we started reading

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this text together. And, you know, I said there's so much to get

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through, we ended up only getting to a few pages. So we're we're

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where we are right now, if you have the text is we were talking

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about the the rapid changes in the Muslim world due to you know,

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imperialism, colonialism, a lot of Western influence that came into

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the Muslim world, we began to see and so in the text shumsa here and

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the introduction, he describes all of these very rapid changes, he

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describes changes to the cultures and many Muslim countries, food,

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clothing, language, even the infrastructure and architecture of

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Muslim lands started to change and become more westernized

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institutions. And many other things had just started to

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transform away from the traditional Muslim architecture

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and design and just, you know, the way that the cities and towns were

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built and more and more western influences were coming in. So he

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talked about that. And then on page four at the very bottom of

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the text, he says here, one need only look at the photographs taken

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by the first Europeans in the lands of Islam 100

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years ago, to see the nobility of Muslim dress. The American poet

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Ezra Pound remarked that he had no idea of the force that was

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unleashed from the Arabian Peninsula in the seventh century,

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that led to 1000 mosques in Cordoba, Spain, until he caught a

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glimpse of it in the way a Muslim walked in 10th. Year in 1913.

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Compare that image to the current Muslim cities teeming with

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desolate youth looking for a ticket out of their empty lives to

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anywhere but home. So again, he's just describing the contrast of

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what where we were,

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to where we are now, you know, the stunning architecture he described

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on page five gardens parks, that engendered awe in the eyes of all

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who gazed upon them. Right, those were suddenly transformed. And

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more commercial buildings with, you know, just brick buildings or

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stone buildings with very little color or dimension or design took

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their place, right. And then he goes down, and he talks about the

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schools, the medina says, where the love of Allah and His Prophet

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sallallahu sallam was instilled in the hearts of the students, along

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with a rich understanding of the deen of Allah, and with

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memorization of his book have been replaced by secular institutions

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that instill in people a disdain for the past. And a boredom that

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lingers long after the last empty book is closed, and an equally

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empty career begun. So you know, all of this is to really help us

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to see why we're in the situation that we're in the text is about

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changing our condition, and we cannot help ourselves or heal from

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where we are, if we don't first diagnose ourselves and see where

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the problems began. And so the problems, in many instances began

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with, with these things that were introduced into the Muslim world,

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right? The government systems that we have currently, right, many of

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them are abusive systems of power of rule. And so he's describing

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all of this at length on in the very early pages of page four and

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five. And so then he goes on, let me just change the slide here.

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Just

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give me one minute, okay, my too far.

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So then he goes on. And he says, On the next page on page six here,

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he says that, you know, if Muslims were truly living Islam, our

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greatness would dispel any negative influence from the West,

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in the traditional lens of Islam. And he quotes the famous historian

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Arnold Toynbee. He said, he said that he recognized Islam as a

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spiritual power that could help reinvigorate the dissipated state

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of society, and its life threatening social ills. So other

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people recognize the power Islam had, but unfortunately, we lost

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appreciation for our own tradition in many ways, because we were so

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quick to replace it. And that's really what he's pointing out

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here. And then he talks about how Subhan Allah I mean, today first

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of all, I didn't mention it Forgive me, but it's, you know,

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the first day or now it's the second night of reveal Oh, the

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month of the birth of the Prophet. So I said, I'm so Mubarak to all

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of you who are out there, but important to reflect on the the

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prophesy Saddam and his experience. And so in the middle

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of page six, he talks about how the prophesies, I'm asked only one

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thing of the Quraysh. Right. All he said is, let me be that I may

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invite people to Islam, he wanted them to just leave him alone, so

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that he could do his Dawa and do what he was meant to do. And they

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didn't, they were relentless, and they were brutal. And they didn't

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give him that opportunity with you at all, he had to of course,

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overcome them. But he or she comes out here says we on the other

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hand, are given leave to invite people yet we do not. You know,

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and again, this is symptomatic of the fact that we have lost

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appreciation and value for our own tradition. And we have in many

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ways become preoccupied with with the world and the dunya and

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acquiring wealth and materialism and all the other things that this

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dunya can delude us with right.

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So then he goes on and he on again, we're on page six here, and

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he talks about he says we on the other I'm sorry, he says this is

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not to deny that there are some who oppose the spread of Islam

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amongst such people are those who will not sit idly by and allow

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others to invite people to Islam, without attempting to undermine

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Muslims cause dissension in the ranks of believers and place ops

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trickles along the path. They ultimately manifest disbelief in a

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very real way. And their existence is a test from Allah to

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distinguish real believers from hypocrites. However, our prophets

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Allah, Allah Hollywood, salam, in a sound Hadith said, do not seek

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confrontation with your enemies, but when an occur, but when it

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occurs be steadfast. So again, he's just, you know, giving us

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some insight into the current dynamic of our community where you

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have some people are just really disconnected and disengaged, and

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other people who are, you know, they're being obstructive. And so

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we have to be steadfast, and continue to do what we're meant to

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do, which is spread this tradition value this tradition, that's what

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our responsibility is. And so he goes on, I'm on the same page. And

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again, let me pull up the slides. So those of you who don't have the

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text, can at least read along partially here with us.

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If you give him a moment, there's always a bit of a delay. He says

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here, that true Muslims, so now he's, you know, defining for us

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where we all should be, because we're clearly confused, we're

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lost, we've lost value. For our tradition, we're seeing it all

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over the Muslim world. And in many cases, those of us who are living

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who are Muslim minorities living in non Muslim lands, we're also

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reflecting the same problem of just not really appreciating our

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faith tradition as we should, because we're too caught up in the

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pursuit of the material or world, right the material world. So he's

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reminding us here that where we all should be. And he says, true

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Muslims, love peace, obey the law, but are also commanded by Allah to

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be witnesses unto humanity in and in order to fulfill this, we must

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first be witnesses unto ourselves. So he's, you know, making us hold

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ourselves to account here, you know, we can enjoy the privileges,

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the opportunities that we have here, Alhamdulillah we live in a

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time and place and many of us where we do have immense

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privilege, and so we can certainly, you know, enjoy what

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else path that has given us. And we should do our best to be the

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best citizens wherever we are. But our ultimate objective, we can't

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lose sight of it, which is to worship Allah subhanaw taala and

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also to bear witness as Muslims, that this is a true faith. And to

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live this deen and to teach it is you know, when when we can when we

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have the opportunity. But he reminds us here that in order to

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do that, effectively, we have to first not forget our own selves,

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we have to hold ourselves to account and so here in this ayah

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from Surah Baqarah, at that moto NASA will vary with and so on and

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fossa calm, right? Do you command people to righteousness and forget

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yourselves. So this is really about not becoming a hypocrite,

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you know, you can't espouse the beauty of Islam, all of these

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amazing things that are true, Huck, but then you don't live it

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yourself, you have to have consistency, you have to have

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truth. And so, you know, to this is the starting point, know what

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your objectives are, but hold yourself to account and have the

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balance, you know, be in the dunya. But also know that you have

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an important, very important role in this dunya. And now he's going

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to introduce what that is. So, in the next page, we're actually

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excuse me the next section, again, if you're following along in the

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book, the very bottom of Page Six, we now have a section titled inner

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and outer transformations. And so here, so let me just check if I

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skipped. No, I didn't, okay, I thought I skipped a slide. So

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inner and outer transformations here. He says that the path for us

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and now he's speaking specifically to the Muslims who are in western

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lands, okay, so he says, the path for us in these western lands is

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twofold.

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The first is inner transformation through spiritual struggle. You

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know, I'm so sorry. I think I did skip a slide. Let me see if I put

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it somewhere else. Where did that slide go? Here it is. I don't know

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how this slide got all the way at the end, forgive me. But I knew I

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definitely skipped over this. So here we go. So he talks about

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inner and outer transformation. So he says that the first is the

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inner transformation. It's this is the spiritual struggle with the

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soul right? This is the very first part of our path here in the West.

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The second is the outer transformation. And this is

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struggle with the vices and degrading aspects of society. This

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means working toward the realization of social justice, and

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a culture that embodies moral comportment protects children and

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enhances family and community life. Now, again, you know, this

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book was

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written several years

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years ago and published in 2013, as a text, but it was written even

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prior to that. And so when you think about where we are now, this

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is such incredibly relevant advice. I mean, I just gave a

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parenting started a parenting class yesterday. And we talked a

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lot about some of the struggles that parents are having with their

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families. And so, and one of the things that I hear a lot from

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people are the fears, legitimate fears that they have about raising

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their children in this society, and in other parts of the Western

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world as well, because so many of the things that are now acceptable

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and normalized in these societies are completely antithetical to our

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creed, our belief. And so it's very difficult to try to navigate

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well, how can we live in these societies, when every thing that

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you see out in that, again, is acceptable and and even

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encouraged? Is, is pulling people away from their faith? And so you

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have natural fears from parents and

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about future generations about their children? Now, you know,

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what's going to happen to them, when they get a little older? Are

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they going to be able to maintain their faith? These are all very,

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very legitimate

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fears. And so this, you know, part of the text is really for us to

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contemplate, where are we with both of these aspects of our path?

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Where are we with our own inner transformation? Right, where are

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we with our own Mujahidin? What are we doing? Are we living this

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Deen as much as we can? Or have we sort of just given up in certain

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areas? You know, are we are we not really striving to be better? Have

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we become stagnant and stale? And we're just kind of going with the

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motions? Are we making efforts at all, you know, and the best way to

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really gauge that is to ask yourself, Where were you? You

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know, just a few months ago, where were you last year? Where were

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you? 10 years ago? Five years ago? What major changes have you

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committed to in terms of your spiritual, your own individual

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spiritual identity, your own individual spiritual path? Are you

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having the same problems? Or have new problems emerged? Like, were

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you better five years ago? Or have you really overcome a lot of your

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struggles? But where are you right now, and this is something we all

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have to do individually and independently, and have those

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really honest conversations with ourselves. Because it absolutely

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impacts the second part of it. I mean, again, the whole book is

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agenda to change our condition. And we know from the verses in the

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Quran that Allah subhanaw taala says he will not change the

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condition of the people until they change themselves. So if we want

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to see our community, healing our societies and proving, we cannot

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expect that to happen if we're not first willing to look to

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ourselves, which is what the entire purpose and the majority of

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this book deals with, it deals with really the inner the inward

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lens that looking inward and trying to figure out what all of

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us have to do differently. Because if we don't do that, then it's

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very likely that we're not going to have success when it comes to

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all of these other things outside of us that we so desperately wish

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we could control. Right? So these two things, you know, for all of

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us again, just to give us perspective, very important

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to to reflect on. Now I'm gonna go back because the slide got out of

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order. So just bear with me a moment while I find my placing

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here.

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But let me go

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back this.

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So this is the slide that should have come next. So here on the top

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of page seven,

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we have a quote from the greatest scholar 11th century, professor

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and scholar of Arabic, Ravel ispahani. And she has a quote here

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that he gave us two main reasons or in his opinion, there were two

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main reasons why Allah subhanaw taala created the human being. The

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first is to worship Allah subhana wa Tada. Right. And so here we

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have the verse, right. Well, Matt, O'Meara Illa Ali, Abdullah

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Himachal Hasina, Lucha Dena when affair, they were only commanded

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to worship Allah with purity, making the religion solely for

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him. So this is again a reminder that this is part of our creation.

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The second reason is to cultivate the world, right? Who are in share

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a communal rd was stem was that my route was that mitochondria. So he

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brought you forth from the earth and has caused you to cultivate

00:19:46 --> 00:19:52

it. So this idea of first recognizing our own purpose, we're

00:19:52 --> 00:19:56

here to worship Allah subhanaw taala. That's solely our purpose,

00:19:56 --> 00:20:00

but then also, there's the other side

00:20:00 --> 00:20:03

out of the equation, we have to cultivate this dunya that, that

00:20:03 --> 00:20:07

we've inherited, that we're a part of, and how do we do that? So then

00:20:08 --> 00:20:12

the rest of the text, he now describes that so he says here,

00:20:13 --> 00:20:15

again, if I can get to the next slide.

00:20:18 --> 00:20:19

This fella

00:20:21 --> 00:20:27

I went for, okay, so here so what Cultivation means. He says here,

00:20:27 --> 00:20:32

cultivation here means to sow seeds that produce both temporal

00:20:32 --> 00:20:37

fruits, as well as eternal ones. Such cultivation entails building

00:20:37 --> 00:20:43

schools, hospitals, farms, roads, bridges, and cities and towns,

00:20:44 --> 00:20:47

where in Allah is worshipped and the sanctity of the Earth is

00:20:47 --> 00:20:51

preserved. In order for us to realize our God given potential

00:20:51 --> 00:20:56

within our lifetimes, we must break the cycles of stagnation, by

00:20:56 --> 00:21:01

abandoning methods that have proven any effective in fulfilling

00:21:01 --> 00:21:04

our responsibilities as people committed to a slam, we can

00:21:04 --> 00:21:07

accomplish this only by changing our current condition. This

00:21:07 --> 00:21:11

requires courage, commitment, and above all, critical introspection.

00:21:11 --> 00:21:16

So I mean, look, yeah, that's a pretty tall order, right? If you

00:21:16 --> 00:21:20

think about what we're supposed to be doing, and what we're all

00:21:20 --> 00:21:24

actually doing, many of us and I can speak for myself as well, it's

00:21:24 --> 00:21:30

very easy to get caught up in our own individual goals and pursuits

00:21:30 --> 00:21:32

and forget the bigger picture.

00:21:33 --> 00:21:36

Right? You we all work, we have families to take care of, we have

00:21:36 --> 00:21:40

children to take care of parents, in laws. And so we can just kind

00:21:40 --> 00:21:43

of get caught up in that routine, and then lose sight of the fact

00:21:43 --> 00:21:47

that we should also be looking towards the future because our

00:21:47 --> 00:21:52

children, what are they going to carry forth if we're not also

00:21:52 --> 00:21:55

trying to help in some way. So whether that means we actually get

00:21:55 --> 00:22:00

involved with institution building or supporting institutions and

00:22:00 --> 00:22:03

organizations, some way or another, you can do that

00:22:03 --> 00:22:07

financially, you can, you know, volunteer and work you can serve

00:22:07 --> 00:22:13

on to committees or boards, some part of us should feel compelled

00:22:13 --> 00:22:16

to do that. I think that's what the point is here, that we, you

00:22:16 --> 00:22:20

know, we should look to the benefit that will that all of this

00:22:20 --> 00:22:24

will bring for generations to come, as well as for our own

00:22:24 --> 00:22:27

progeny, our own children, our grandchildren, they are going to

00:22:27 --> 00:22:31

reap the benefits if we prioritize these things. But if we just get

00:22:31 --> 00:22:35

caught up in our own material, worldly pursuits, you know, just

00:22:35 --> 00:22:40

making money and buying homes and cars and vacationing and eating

00:22:40 --> 00:22:44

the best foods and buying, you know, all the clothes that we

00:22:44 --> 00:22:48

want, and just, it's all about what we benefit from for

00:22:48 --> 00:22:53

ourselves, instead of looking at these other very important, big,

00:22:53 --> 00:22:56

big picture things, then we have no one else to blame, but

00:22:56 --> 00:23:00

ourselves when we see that our children, for example, are not

00:23:00 --> 00:23:03

really interested in being part of their community, right? If we

00:23:03 --> 00:23:07

don't take them to the masjid and have them appreciate, for example,

00:23:08 --> 00:23:12

what a great resource and what a great blessing it is to have you

00:23:12 --> 00:23:16

part of a community and to have a community center to have teachers

00:23:16 --> 00:23:20

to have classes regularly. And you know, we understand I mean, it's

00:23:20 --> 00:23:22

understandable that you're we're not going to always be able to

00:23:22 --> 00:23:26

attend every single event or lecture but at least to value it

00:23:26 --> 00:23:30

at least to have appreciation for it. So that when you get that

00:23:30 --> 00:23:35

email from the masjid asking for some support some donations that

00:23:35 --> 00:23:39

you don't just roll your eyes and become cynical, and, and you know,

00:23:39 --> 00:23:44

act as though it's just here we go again, but rather, you know,

00:23:44 --> 00:23:49

instead of spending money on on whatever big purchase you might

00:23:49 --> 00:23:52

have had your eyes on for a while that you you see the bigger

00:23:52 --> 00:23:57

picture that it's better to pay it forward for your the benefit of

00:23:57 --> 00:23:59

your community, the benefit of your children and grandchildren

00:23:59 --> 00:24:03

inshallah so, really thinking big picture, but to think about all of

00:24:03 --> 00:24:06

these things, this is what cultivating means that we actually

00:24:06 --> 00:24:11

invest in schools and hospitals and building institutions and

00:24:11 --> 00:24:15

improving our world in our society and taking that seriously. So

00:24:15 --> 00:24:19

civic engagement, you know, getting involved with what's going

00:24:19 --> 00:24:23

on in local government, and actually being a part of that is a

00:24:23 --> 00:24:26

big part of the role that we should have as Muslims here living

00:24:26 --> 00:24:30

in the West. So and have that really great powerful reminders

00:24:30 --> 00:24:34

for all of us to reflect on. And that last line is so important,

00:24:34 --> 00:24:38

right? We can accomplish this only by changing our current condition.

00:24:39 --> 00:24:41

This requires courage, commitment, and above all critical

00:24:41 --> 00:24:47

introspection. So we have to be willing to think critically about

00:24:47 --> 00:24:53

our own culpability in why we are in the state that we're in as a

00:24:53 --> 00:24:57

community, because we all do have some part in it. And that's, you

00:24:57 --> 00:25:00

know, again, a very subjective individual

00:25:00 --> 00:25:03

process, but we have to start there. And that's what the whole

00:25:04 --> 00:25:08

objective of Mujahidin and, and really trying to change your

00:25:08 --> 00:25:13

condition is it's a matter of let me first again, diagnose the

00:25:13 --> 00:25:17

problems look inwardly look outwardly analyze the situation,

00:25:17 --> 00:25:20

make sense of it. And then from there, figure out what I have to

00:25:20 --> 00:25:27

do next. So it's an essential part of the process. Now the next slide

00:25:27 --> 00:25:28

here, this Mullah.

00:25:31 --> 00:25:32

Give me a second here.

00:25:37 --> 00:25:42

Okay, so the next section on page seven at the bottom,

00:25:43 --> 00:25:50

he has titled The importance of family. So here, he says that the

00:25:50 --> 00:25:54

family is the first and most important unit of society and is

00:25:54 --> 00:25:58

designed to nurture and prepare the young to carry on the

00:25:58 --> 00:26:03

civilizational enterprise. It is in serious crisis throughout the

00:26:03 --> 00:26:07

world, and our children, whether in Muslim households, or those of

00:26:07 --> 00:26:11

other faiths, and beliefs are suffering everywhere. So I mean,

00:26:11 --> 00:26:14

this is just an absolutely true statement. And you can

00:26:15 --> 00:26:20

look at research, whether it's from different academic

00:26:20 --> 00:26:23

institutions or scientific institutions, journals,

00:26:24 --> 00:26:27

psychologists, therapists, there's a lot of people who are looking at

00:26:27 --> 00:26:31

what's happening with our youth. And it's very concerning Anxiety

00:26:31 --> 00:26:37

disorders are on the rise globally. And mostly in amongst

00:26:37 --> 00:26:41

the youth, you know, teen, teen demographic, young adult

00:26:41 --> 00:26:45

demographic, we're seeing a lot of mental health issues. And there's,

00:26:45 --> 00:26:48

it's just, it's getting worse and worse. And there's a lot of you no

00:26:48 --> 00:26:52

thought and analysis on why what's happening. But the bottom line is,

00:26:52 --> 00:26:56

is it is happening, and it's everywhere. And we have to hit

00:26:56 --> 00:27:01

pause for a moment and just try to at least figure out, what are some

00:27:01 --> 00:27:06

of the potential reasons why kids are suffering so much more today?

00:27:07 --> 00:27:10

Maybe than ever, in human history, Allah knows. I don't know if we

00:27:10 --> 00:27:16

can make specific or exact claims. But when you do look at the data,

00:27:16 --> 00:27:21

of how many teens are reporting problems, you know, suicidal

00:27:21 --> 00:27:25

ideation, cutting a lot of anxiety, as we said, disorder,

00:27:25 --> 00:27:30

social anxiety disorders, depression, these are not, we

00:27:30 --> 00:27:33

shouldn't take them lightly or accurate. Oh, this is just a

00:27:33 --> 00:27:38

reflection of typical teenage angst. And you know, all teens go

00:27:38 --> 00:27:40

through that. And they can be dramatic. And you know, sometimes

00:27:40 --> 00:27:44

people get very cynical, these millennials, these Generation Z,

00:27:44 --> 00:27:49

they're also spoiled, and they're just brats. And that's not how we

00:27:49 --> 00:27:52

should stop a lot of talk about people. I mean, comping people,

00:27:52 --> 00:27:56

you know, those types of generalizations is never a good

00:27:56 --> 00:27:59

thing. But especially when it comes to young children. I mean,

00:27:59 --> 00:28:05

that I think, is just deflecting, because, as adults, our it's our

00:28:05 --> 00:28:08

duty to protect them and to take care of them. And so when you see

00:28:08 --> 00:28:13

children, engaging in really risky behaviors, whether it's, you know,

00:28:13 --> 00:28:17

drugs, alcohol, premarital relations, all the things, the

00:28:17 --> 00:28:20

risk factors and the fears that every parent has for their child,

00:28:20 --> 00:28:23

when you see them doing those things, and doing things that

00:28:23 --> 00:28:26

maybe you couldn't even think of doing when you were their age,

00:28:26 --> 00:28:30

instead of blaming them and making it sound like they're just

00:28:30 --> 00:28:35

inherently flawed. I think it's more effective to look back on

00:28:35 --> 00:28:39

where did we as adults failed? And how did we feel them? What did we

00:28:39 --> 00:28:45

do that led to this problem, you know, in terms of society and

00:28:45 --> 00:28:49

culture, the messages that they're getting the access to a lot of

00:28:49 --> 00:28:52

this thing, these things that they're getting, we have to look

00:28:52 --> 00:28:56

back to ourselves, for example, I mean, very simple, you know, thing

00:28:56 --> 00:29:02

to look at is, again, access, like when I was in high school, and

00:29:02 --> 00:29:06

even you know, throughout my childhood, and in well into even

00:29:06 --> 00:29:10

my college years, my parents had very strict rules. And I'm sure

00:29:10 --> 00:29:14

many people of my generation can relate about curfew and about, you

00:29:14 --> 00:29:19

know, who we could be around. And there were rules in terms of what

00:29:19 --> 00:29:25

we had access to. And so that built in maybe, you know, just an

00:29:25 --> 00:29:30

awareness that was an hamdulillah with us, even when our parents

00:29:30 --> 00:29:33

weren't there. We just knew we couldn't do certain things,

00:29:33 --> 00:29:37

because very early on, those things were understood and

00:29:37 --> 00:29:42

communicated. And they were, you know, there were consequences. So

00:29:42 --> 00:29:46

when we are vigilant as parents and we can implement those types

00:29:46 --> 00:29:51

of rules and really, you know, be be vigilant and be firm, our

00:29:51 --> 00:29:55

children will naturally fall into line but a lot of what's happening

00:29:55 --> 00:29:59

is that we aren't as vigilant and I can say that

00:30:00 --> 00:30:04

Because the structure of our homes are different, you know, when you

00:30:04 --> 00:30:09

have at least one parent in the house, and they're stable, and

00:30:09 --> 00:30:14

they're consistently there, and they are present and watchful over

00:30:14 --> 00:30:18

the children, you have, you know, less likely chances of things,

00:30:20 --> 00:30:23

you know, passing through that are getting children getting away with

00:30:23 --> 00:30:28

things. But when both parents are disconnected and just really

00:30:28 --> 00:30:32

distracted, I should say, because of other obligations, and it

00:30:32 --> 00:30:36

doesn't always necessarily have to be work, it can just be, you know,

00:30:36 --> 00:30:41

personal other things that are that come up or, you know, roles

00:30:41 --> 00:30:46

that maybe a parent plays in terms of other family members, you know,

00:30:46 --> 00:30:50

I see some I've seen some friends and people that I know, who are

00:30:50 --> 00:30:55

very consumed by other obligations in their life due to other family

00:30:55 --> 00:30:58

members maybe or other things going on. So the point is, is,

00:30:59 --> 00:31:04

when we don't have that type of vigilance in the home, then you

00:31:04 --> 00:31:09

see a lot of things happen. And kids, of course, the world that

00:31:09 --> 00:31:09

they're in,

00:31:11 --> 00:31:13

they don't really have to go very far to get access to some of the

00:31:13 --> 00:31:17

worst, most toxic, dangerous, poisonous elements of society,

00:31:17 --> 00:31:21

it's all within reach within seconds, because of social media

00:31:21 --> 00:31:26

and devices, and all of these very dangerous things that our children

00:31:26 --> 00:31:30

do have access to. So vigilance isn't always necessarily where our

00:31:30 --> 00:31:35

children are going outside of the home. And watching I mean, that's

00:31:35 --> 00:31:38

part of it, certainly who they're spending time with who their

00:31:38 --> 00:31:40

influences are. But I think

00:31:41 --> 00:31:45

in, you know, from our generation and previous generations, it's the

00:31:45 --> 00:31:49

opposite. Now it's inside the home, what are the influences that

00:31:49 --> 00:31:53

our children have? You know, are they watching a lot of television?

00:31:53 --> 00:31:56

Are they watching a lot of Netflix, and all of these other

00:31:56 --> 00:32:01

streaming services? That may seem like not a big deal, because oh,

00:32:01 --> 00:32:03

they're in the home, it gives you kind of like a false sense of

00:32:03 --> 00:32:06

security, if you think about it as a parent, oh, they're just in

00:32:06 --> 00:32:08

their room, you know, they're watching something with their

00:32:08 --> 00:32:12

friend or their sister, you know, they're just watching a movie. But

00:32:12 --> 00:32:16

if we're not being vigilant to know, what are they watching? And

00:32:16 --> 00:32:21

do we follow up? You know, do we have measures in place to be able

00:32:21 --> 00:32:23

to know what they're watching? You know, or do we just give them all

00:32:23 --> 00:32:27

access passes? To a lot of these, I mean, HBO, there's Netflix,

00:32:27 --> 00:32:30

there's like, there's all these streaming services that do not

00:32:30 --> 00:32:36

have very good content at all. And the, the sad thing is, is that

00:32:36 --> 00:32:41

their generation, the shows that are tailored for their generation

00:32:41 --> 00:32:45

are some of the worst, some of the worst shows that you could

00:32:45 --> 00:32:52

possibly imagine, are made for, and presented to as, as you know,

00:32:53 --> 00:32:54

as, as,

00:32:56 --> 00:33:00

as entertainment for for the teen demographic. For example.

00:33:01 --> 00:33:05

There's a show on HBO, I mentioned euphoria, if you don't know this

00:33:05 --> 00:33:09

show, know that your teens most likely know about this show,

00:33:09 --> 00:33:13

because it's very popular in that demographic. And I believe it just

00:33:13 --> 00:33:18

won an Emmy. I'd won some award recently. And it was very, you

00:33:18 --> 00:33:22

know, received a lot of words, I believe. But the point is, is that

00:33:22 --> 00:33:27

show if you watch even a few minutes of it, as a Muslim, it

00:33:27 --> 00:33:32

should absolutely fill you with horror, because every type of

00:33:32 --> 00:33:36

debauchery you can imagine is shown in that show, from the get

00:33:36 --> 00:33:39

go. It's like, you know, just within a few for a few minutes,

00:33:39 --> 00:33:42

there's many other shows as well that are like that, but they

00:33:42 --> 00:33:48

celebrate ideas that are not part of our faith. And yet they are

00:33:48 --> 00:33:52

marketed specifically to teens. And so as parents are not aware of

00:33:52 --> 00:33:58

the, again, the shows, or the music, look at the music industry

00:33:58 --> 00:34:01

and how much it's changed in the past, I'd say 1015 years, even

00:34:01 --> 00:34:06

when I was younger, much different lyrics and just different type of

00:34:06 --> 00:34:10

content that teens and young children were exposed to Now, if

00:34:10 --> 00:34:15

you're paying attention at all to what's going on at, you know,

00:34:15 --> 00:34:20

social media, anyhow, you have on tick tock, for example, there are

00:34:20 --> 00:34:24

so many trends with young children forget, you know, older teens who

00:34:24 --> 00:34:28

are, at least you could say, you know, from our tradition, they're

00:34:28 --> 00:34:31

young adults, right? Because if they have accountability, I'm

00:34:31 --> 00:34:37

talking about young children like 789 who are dancing in very

00:34:37 --> 00:34:42

provocative ways to songs by someone like Cardi B, you know,

00:34:42 --> 00:34:46

it's like really horrific. But this is the world that our kids

00:34:46 --> 00:34:50

are in right now. And so we have to pay attention and this is where

00:34:50 --> 00:34:54

the onus is on us as parents to know that it is a very difficult

00:34:54 --> 00:34:59

time for children but we have to stand vigilant and make sure that

00:34:59 --> 00:34:59

what

00:35:00 --> 00:35:04

is coming to what they have access to the we know what it is. So all

00:35:04 --> 00:35:10

of those, you know, those systems that you can find whether it's

00:35:10 --> 00:35:13

online, you know, just security systems or, or apps or whatever it

00:35:13 --> 00:35:18

is that will allow you at least some level of control over what

00:35:18 --> 00:35:22

they're, what they're taking in and consuming is essential, we

00:35:22 --> 00:35:28

can't take it like for, we can't assume that just because they say

00:35:28 --> 00:35:31

that they're going to do not getting to do something or going

00:35:31 --> 00:35:35

to do something that that's going to be the case, because temptation

00:35:35 --> 00:35:38

is real. We all know what peer pressure is, we all know that

00:35:38 --> 00:35:40

young children and teens do not have

00:35:41 --> 00:35:46

very strong ability to regulate their themselves. Because those

00:35:46 --> 00:35:49

those functions aren't fully developed yet and not part of the

00:35:49 --> 00:35:54

brain. So we know these things. So we shouldn't assume that just

00:35:54 --> 00:35:57

because they're good kids, and they're, they're sweet. And we

00:35:57 --> 00:36:04

love them, that they won't fall. I mean, the we know from from just

00:36:04 --> 00:36:08

reading, you know, our history that some of the best people have

00:36:08 --> 00:36:13

fallen. And so that's just naive to think that a young child just

00:36:13 --> 00:36:18

because they're good, that you can necessarily trust them to not, you

00:36:18 --> 00:36:22

know, get curious to not want to look to not want to do something.

00:36:22 --> 00:36:26

And also aside from that there's predators that are very good at

00:36:26 --> 00:36:31

grooming, and luring children into traps. And so the bottom line is,

00:36:31 --> 00:36:35

is we have to be very serious about the crisis that is

00:36:35 --> 00:36:41

unfolding, and has been unfolding in front of us with regards to our

00:36:41 --> 00:36:45

children, and to really be worried we shouldn't be worried if we're

00:36:45 --> 00:36:49

not worried. There's a problem anyway. I mean, that's my personal

00:36:49 --> 00:36:53

opinion, because I work a lot with teens. And I deal with a lot of

00:36:53 --> 00:36:54

issues that I think would really,

00:36:56 --> 00:37:01

to be honest, just startle freak out, and make a lot of parents

00:37:02 --> 00:37:06

just fall into deep, deep despair and depression, because it's like,

00:37:06 --> 00:37:08

how can this be happening to our young children?

00:37:09 --> 00:37:12

Unfortunately, it is. So you know, here, I think that's the point

00:37:12 --> 00:37:18

that he's, he's making here is that it's, it's children are

00:37:18 --> 00:37:21

suffering, and they're, and we really do have to help them. And

00:37:21 --> 00:37:26

then he goes on to say, now he's he's, you know, giving us some

00:37:26 --> 00:37:29

insight into also another area that we have to be

00:37:30 --> 00:37:34

aware of. And he says here on the bottom of page seven, he says

00:37:34 --> 00:37:40

schools once meant to nourish and enhance the intellects, bodies and

00:37:40 --> 00:37:45

souls of our youth, now dumb them down and prepare them for a life

00:37:45 --> 00:37:49

of mediocrity and civility, in many instances, to perform

00:37:49 --> 00:37:53

meaningless jobs that neither benefit humanity, nor help the

00:37:53 --> 00:37:55

individual grow morally, and spiritually.

00:37:57 --> 00:38:00

You know, there's a lot of, there's a lot more content here

00:38:00 --> 00:38:01

just regarding

00:38:03 --> 00:38:07

the government, and just different ways of how these things are

00:38:07 --> 00:38:12

influencing our ability to parent our children, privacy issues and

00:38:12 --> 00:38:15

other things. But I think that point about schooling is something

00:38:15 --> 00:38:19

we should also take very seriously as Muslims, because, you know, as

00:38:19 --> 00:38:23

someone who is a, you know, who went to public schools my whole

00:38:23 --> 00:38:27

life when I was growing up here, and who's visited public school

00:38:27 --> 00:38:32

since then, you know, I've spoken at many public schools, for on

00:38:32 --> 00:38:37

Islam and other topics, I am shocked. think the last time I

00:38:37 --> 00:38:43

went to a public high school was a year ago. And to give a talk, and

00:38:43 --> 00:38:48

I just remember immediately from the get go, being totally shocked

00:38:48 --> 00:38:53

by my experience, because it was so different than anything that I

00:38:53 --> 00:38:58

remembered or experienced in my own. In my own life. For example,

00:38:58 --> 00:39:05

one of the things that immediately I saw was police, cars, vehicles

00:39:05 --> 00:39:09

in the parking lot of the school that I went to, and it wasn't

00:39:09 --> 00:39:13

necessarily a dangerous neighborhood or anything like

00:39:13 --> 00:39:16

that. I came to find out that that's pretty much, you know,

00:39:16 --> 00:39:21

standard now in many schools, across public schools across, you

00:39:21 --> 00:39:26

know, the country we're in maybe maybe in major cities or close to

00:39:26 --> 00:39:29

major cities, and maybe more, but the point is, is I was shocked

00:39:29 --> 00:39:32

that there were so many police vehicles in the parking lot and

00:39:32 --> 00:39:37

all the school entrances were gated, completely gated, and they

00:39:37 --> 00:39:41

I mean, it was a very tight knit security system, which to be

00:39:41 --> 00:39:46

honest, it felt like a prison. I'm not exaggerating, because they had

00:39:46 --> 00:39:52

metal bars throughout every entry and exit point of the school, the

00:39:52 --> 00:39:57

perimeter of the school. And so I just remember going, how do the,

00:39:57 --> 00:40:00

you know people working in these institutions?

00:40:00 --> 00:40:05

Asians and attending these, how do they feel peace, because in my

00:40:05 --> 00:40:10

short visit, I did not feel peace, I actually felt very anxious.

00:40:10 --> 00:40:14

Being there. And I remember, I was walking, you know, being someone

00:40:14 --> 00:40:19

who is an adult and you need all these passes, I had to go from one

00:40:19 --> 00:40:23

part of the parking lot around the building. And there was

00:40:24 --> 00:40:28

a kid he was, you know, high schooler behind me, but he had his

00:40:28 --> 00:40:32

backpack on in a very strange way. And he was very close, Lee walking

00:40:32 --> 00:40:37

behind me and I remember feeling like fear, why is he so close to

00:40:37 --> 00:40:41

me, and his backpack was in front of him. And he was like, doing all

00:40:41 --> 00:40:44

these weird things, it just felt very uneasy. So then I thought,

00:40:44 --> 00:40:49

Wow, here I am a visitor, and I'm feeling so uncomfortable. Imagine,

00:40:49 --> 00:40:53

this is every day for the students. So the point is, is, you

00:40:53 --> 00:40:58

know, public schools have just changed so much, due to all of the

00:40:58 --> 00:41:03

violence and the risks that are out there. And, you know, we're

00:41:03 --> 00:41:04

not,

00:41:05 --> 00:41:09

I mean, this is just reality, you know, that, that many people have,

00:41:10 --> 00:41:12

have have experienced, unfortunately, some really

00:41:13 --> 00:41:17

horrific things at the schools on site, you know, what, and I'm not

00:41:17 --> 00:41:20

speaking just about terrorist attacks, or any type of school

00:41:20 --> 00:41:24

shootings necessarily, but bullying, I mean, bullying is such

00:41:24 --> 00:41:28

a big part of a lot of teens, everyday experiences, which is why

00:41:28 --> 00:41:31

you see, so much, you know, depression and so many other

00:41:31 --> 00:41:35

mental health issues is because a lot of kids are, are traumatized,

00:41:35 --> 00:41:40

from from bullying behavior, and then just exposure to other things

00:41:40 --> 00:41:45

that are, when you think of teens and how vulnerable they are, and

00:41:45 --> 00:41:45

what a

00:41:47 --> 00:41:51

difficult time it is in their life, to have to on top of

00:41:51 --> 00:41:54

managing their own emotions and all the changes that are happening

00:41:54 --> 00:41:58

to them physically, mentally, emotionally, all the fears of

00:41:58 --> 00:42:01

their future, you know, you have, what am I going to be? What am I

00:42:01 --> 00:42:04

going to do? How well am I going to perform in school am I going to

00:42:04 --> 00:42:08

go to college, all of these very legitimate concerns that they have

00:42:08 --> 00:42:11

the pressures that they have, from their families, on top of that, to

00:42:11 --> 00:42:15

have to go into an environment where they are judged very harshly

00:42:15 --> 00:42:17

and critically for their appearance, girls are anywhere

00:42:17 --> 00:42:22

girls, of course, we know, are judged very harshly for how they

00:42:22 --> 00:42:27

appear for how they look immense pressure boys as well for not just

00:42:27 --> 00:42:31

how they look it up here. But you know, how whether or not they

00:42:31 --> 00:42:34

measure up, there's a lot of very

00:42:36 --> 00:42:41

just close minded narrow definitions of what it means to be

00:42:41 --> 00:42:45

a boy or you know, I mean, toxic masculinity, you just look it up,

00:42:45 --> 00:42:49

and you'll see what I'm talking about. But all of those things are

00:42:49 --> 00:42:53

real. And so a lot of our teens experience daily anxiety and

00:42:53 --> 00:42:58

pressure, because they are going into environments where those

00:42:58 --> 00:43:02

things are just that's there every day for 810 hours a day. That's

00:43:02 --> 00:43:05

what they have to deal with. And then on top of that social media,

00:43:05 --> 00:43:09

which is just an extension of the school school now, because

00:43:09 --> 00:43:12

everybody's online, everybody's connected. And so a lot of these

00:43:12 --> 00:43:16

behaviors, follow them even after they go home, right. And, you

00:43:16 --> 00:43:19

know, I know right now we're in quarantine. So this may not

00:43:20 --> 00:43:23

seem to be relevant in the moment. But if we're just speaking

00:43:23 --> 00:43:27

generally, about life before quarantine, and likely what's

00:43:27 --> 00:43:31

going to happen when things resume, this is the reality that

00:43:31 --> 00:43:36

the public schools are very toxic environments that we have to

00:43:36 --> 00:43:40

protect our children from. And so here she comes, as well speaks

00:43:40 --> 00:43:46

about that. And he says that we must raise our children outside of

00:43:46 --> 00:43:49

the modern schools that are designed to make them no more than

00:43:49 --> 00:43:55

functional literates. So um, and this is, I would say, also a

00:43:55 --> 00:44:00

moment of pause for many of us who may have become so

00:44:02 --> 00:44:08

wrapped up in the what we've been conditioned to think is the

00:44:08 --> 00:44:12

script, you know, that you parents work, whether it's one income,

00:44:12 --> 00:44:16

double income, children go to school, we come home, we have our

00:44:16 --> 00:44:19

meals together, and then weekends, we do things together. That's very

00:44:19 --> 00:44:24

typical for a lot of American or Western families, because we work,

00:44:24 --> 00:44:27

you know, 40 hour plus work weeks, and their schools are, you know,

00:44:27 --> 00:44:30

morning to afternoon and then the you have all these other

00:44:30 --> 00:44:33

extracurriculars. So there's not a lot of time in between for

00:44:33 --> 00:44:36

families to really connect. But I think that's the point is that,

00:44:37 --> 00:44:43

that being status quo isn't good. And it's actually causing a lot of

00:44:43 --> 00:44:47

these problems. So just because everybody is doing it, we should,

00:44:47 --> 00:44:51

you know, be able to step back and see that there's harm and the harm

00:44:51 --> 00:44:56

is, is obvious when you look at what's happening with parental

00:44:56 --> 00:44:59

authority over children and just the the

00:45:00 --> 00:45:04

A total lack of respect that a lot of teens have for parental

00:45:04 --> 00:45:08

authority. If you look at Dr. Leonard Sachs his work, he really

00:45:08 --> 00:45:12

does a phenomenal job about describing the breakdown that is

00:45:12 --> 00:45:16

happening in the what he calls the collapse of parenting in America.

00:45:17 --> 00:45:20

But this is affecting Muslim families as well, there is

00:45:20 --> 00:45:20

definitely

00:45:22 --> 00:45:27

a problem with, with teens just being so disconnected from their

00:45:27 --> 00:45:30

family, because they're not spending enough time with them.

00:45:30 --> 00:45:34

That when it comes to parents, trying to establish authority,

00:45:34 --> 00:45:38

it's just falls flat, I have literally worked with many

00:45:38 --> 00:45:42

families and spoken to many parents who are completely at

00:45:42 --> 00:45:46

their wit's end, they have lost hope, they just don't know what to

00:45:46 --> 00:45:50

do, they feel like they really don't have any options anymore,

00:45:50 --> 00:45:55

because their teens or their even college students have lost total

00:45:55 --> 00:45:59

respect and value for the family. And they are, you know,

00:45:59 --> 00:46:02

rebellious, they're just doing a lot of things that the parents

00:46:02 --> 00:46:06

don't know how to how to control. So these are the, you know,

00:46:06 --> 00:46:11

symptomatic of the fact that we are not spending enough time with

00:46:11 --> 00:46:16

our children and our families need that bonding time. And so we have

00:46:16 --> 00:46:21

to prioritize that. And if schooling and the the model of

00:46:21 --> 00:46:24

schooling and, you know, I'm speaking now very specific, maybe

00:46:24 --> 00:46:29

to where I am, which is in the Bay area of California, and it's a

00:46:29 --> 00:46:33

very highly competitive area, there's immense pressure on

00:46:33 --> 00:46:37

parents and teens to not only excel in their school, but then

00:46:37 --> 00:46:41

beyond school to have to be scheduled, you know, basically

00:46:41 --> 00:46:46

until they zonk, out at midnight, or even past midnight, because

00:46:46 --> 00:46:48

they have all these extracurriculars. And it's all

00:46:48 --> 00:46:51

about getting into the best schools and getting into this

00:46:51 --> 00:46:55

system and that system or whatever, dream, you know, career

00:46:55 --> 00:46:59

path that they may have, but the pressure that that puts on the

00:46:59 --> 00:47:05

teens, and then of course, the the how the effect of that pressure on

00:47:05 --> 00:47:10

the family, the family dynamic is real, it's very real. And so we

00:47:10 --> 00:47:15

have to step back and say, Is it worth it? Is it worth it to push

00:47:15 --> 00:47:20

our kids so hard, so fast, and so intensely into that direction, if

00:47:20 --> 00:47:26

it's at the compromise of the family of their faith, identity,

00:47:26 --> 00:47:30

of their identity in general, because, you know, this is,

00:47:31 --> 00:47:34

you know, their, when they're exposed to so many different

00:47:36 --> 00:47:42

groups, or messages, and, you know, different paths all at once.

00:47:42 --> 00:47:43

It can,

00:47:44 --> 00:47:50

it can affect their ability to really discern what is in my best

00:47:50 --> 00:47:53

interest and what isn't, and this is why, you know, we have to study

00:47:53 --> 00:47:58

about teens, for example, like their peer group, at a certain

00:47:58 --> 00:48:02

point has more influence over their decisions than their family.

00:48:02 --> 00:48:07

So if we're not even aware of who their peer group is, because they

00:48:07 --> 00:48:10

just go to the, you know, a school and then they after that they,

00:48:10 --> 00:48:14

once they get their license anyway, they can, you know, drive

00:48:14 --> 00:48:17

themselves to wherever, but if we're not aware of the influences

00:48:17 --> 00:48:20

that our children are exposed to, we shouldn't be shocked when they

00:48:20 --> 00:48:23

come home and say, I don't want to do this anymore. I want to do

00:48:23 --> 00:48:28

that, or I identify as this, and I want to explore this lifestyle, we

00:48:28 --> 00:48:32

shouldn't be surprised, because that is their, what their you

00:48:32 --> 00:48:36

know, what their environment is for the majority of their day.

00:48:37 --> 00:48:40

They're spending time with, with people who have different maybe

00:48:40 --> 00:48:44

views than you do. So I think the point here is that we have to step

00:48:44 --> 00:48:48

back and say, Is this model effective? Well, clearly, it's

00:48:48 --> 00:48:49

not.

00:48:50 --> 00:48:54

We're seeing a major problem with youth culture in this country in a

00:48:54 --> 00:48:58

lot of a dust from the school system from social media. So let's

00:48:58 --> 00:49:02

step back and see what our alternatives are. And that's why

00:49:02 --> 00:49:06

he offers here. Again, in the same text, he says, We must remove our

00:49:06 --> 00:49:11

children from state schools. And then the onus is back on us. So

00:49:11 --> 00:49:14

it's like, okay, you see, the problem is in these public school

00:49:14 --> 00:49:20

systems, or these systems that, again, do offer or influence and

00:49:20 --> 00:49:23

condition and indoctrinate children. It's just a fact. If

00:49:23 --> 00:49:26

there's a problem within those systems, and you're aware of that,

00:49:27 --> 00:49:30

pull them out, because that's your duty, but then at the same time,

00:49:31 --> 00:49:34

you have to work towards what we talked about earlier, the

00:49:34 --> 00:49:38

cultivation, it's your obligation, to be part of that to be part of

00:49:39 --> 00:49:42

the building of institutions that are actually going to help your

00:49:42 --> 00:49:46

children and other children. So design, build support, life

00:49:46 --> 00:49:49

enhancing places of learning and Hamdulillah. You know, I

00:49:49 --> 00:49:53

personally am so grateful because I actually know, people who did

00:49:53 --> 00:49:58

this exact thing and you know, if we look at here in the Bay Area,

00:49:58 --> 00:49:59

we haven't hamdulillah

00:50:00 --> 00:50:04

Islamic schools that were that were started grassroots from

00:50:04 --> 00:50:09

nothing from like one classroom, one teacher, a handful of students

00:50:09 --> 00:50:13

meeting in a very humble, humble beginnings. But mashallah, because

00:50:13 --> 00:50:17

of the sincerity of the people involved and their vision and

00:50:17 --> 00:50:22

their ability to see the long, you know, the longer picture and

00:50:22 --> 00:50:26

wanting to work towards that. They made it happen to where now we

00:50:26 --> 00:50:30

have institutions like North Star school, for example, it is

00:50:30 --> 00:50:33

mashallah one of the most successful schools in our

00:50:33 --> 00:50:38

community peace, terrace Academy of airways, we have, of course, we

00:50:38 --> 00:50:42

have the longest, I believe it's the longest established aesthetic

00:50:42 --> 00:50:46

school in the Bay Area, the MCA, you know, high school and school

00:50:46 --> 00:50:50

system. So we have 100, great models, but all of those were

00:50:50 --> 00:50:56

started by parents who did not want to just, you know, let their

00:50:56 --> 00:51:01

kids fall into the system, but actually saw the problems and that

00:51:01 --> 00:51:04

were there and they decided to do something about it. So that's on

00:51:04 --> 00:51:09

all of us to be actively trying to fix the problems that we see

00:51:09 --> 00:51:13

instead of just ignoring them, sweeping them under the rug, or

00:51:13 --> 00:51:15

just, you know, saying oh, well, kind of

00:51:16 --> 00:51:20

acquiescing to, again, the status quo, that this is what everybody

00:51:20 --> 00:51:23

else is doing, I guess I should do it, too, we have to be thinking

00:51:23 --> 00:51:28

about the consequences of these things. So that, you know, is a is

00:51:28 --> 00:51:32

for maybe parents who are contemplating or have having

00:51:32 --> 00:51:35

children or have young children, and they're thinking about their

00:51:35 --> 00:51:38

future, I just got a message actually, recently, I think it was

00:51:38 --> 00:51:42

yesterday or today about about that, you know, moms who are

00:51:42 --> 00:51:46

worried about the schooling of their children who are younger

00:51:46 --> 00:51:49

now, and that's good, it's good that, you know, they're worried

00:51:49 --> 00:51:54

because that's where inshallah some, some good changes will come.

00:51:54 --> 00:51:58

It's that fear of the unknown, the fear of the risks and the desire

00:51:58 --> 00:52:02

to not want your kids to suffer, that will hopefully, inshallah

00:52:02 --> 00:52:06

lead you down the path of protecting, which is our number

00:52:06 --> 00:52:12

one job as, as parents, right. So alhamdulillah, you know, he really

00:52:12 --> 00:52:18

emphasizes this point a lot about moving kids from, from those

00:52:18 --> 00:52:22

school systems. And then this last point is also very important, we

00:52:22 --> 00:52:27

must abandon cruel and punitive child rearing techniques, as this

00:52:27 --> 00:52:31

is the primary source of social dysfunction and hypocrisy, we all

00:52:31 --> 00:52:35

need to be reminded of this message because, unfortunately,

00:52:35 --> 00:52:38

some of our cultures and some of our family

00:52:40 --> 00:52:44

you know, philosophies of parenting that maybe we receive

00:52:44 --> 00:52:48

from our, our own families are really broken systems are just not

00:52:49 --> 00:52:54

there, they actually contribute to so much of the suffering of

00:52:54 --> 00:52:56

children and so much of the dysfunction that we see in

00:52:56 --> 00:53:02

society, because if you come from a culture or family that condones

00:53:03 --> 00:53:07

abuse of any type towards children, this is we should be

00:53:07 --> 00:53:13

very clear about it unequivocally state to everybody out there, that

00:53:13 --> 00:53:16

there's no room for that, in our tradition whatsoever, as a good

00:53:16 --> 00:53:20

Muslim is a God fearing Muslim. You do not strike you do not abuse

00:53:20 --> 00:53:24

you do not. You're not harsh, especially with young children,

00:53:24 --> 00:53:28

and, and those that are, are weaker and smaller and who are

00:53:28 --> 00:53:31

dependent on you, you don't do that. I mean, Subhan, Allah, the

00:53:31 --> 00:53:33

Prophet, I sent him so many of

00:53:34 --> 00:53:39

his the Hadith that we learned from him, he defended the rights

00:53:39 --> 00:53:42

of animals who were being mistreated. So what about

00:53:42 --> 00:53:48

children, of course, you know, he rebuked any type of abuse towards,

00:53:48 --> 00:53:52

towards the innocent creation. So we have to be very careful about

00:53:52 --> 00:53:55

allowing ourselves or justifying ourselves,

00:53:56 --> 00:54:00

you know, to do that, because oh, we think that this is going to get

00:54:00 --> 00:54:03

them in line, and they'll respect us, and they have to listen, and

00:54:03 --> 00:54:07

some children are so unruly, and they don't learn the easy way. So

00:54:07 --> 00:54:10

we have to teach them the hard way. Those are all just excuses

00:54:10 --> 00:54:15

that you're making to justify your abusive behavior. And you're not,

00:54:15 --> 00:54:18

you know, willing to actually do the hard work, which is to maybe

00:54:18 --> 00:54:21

take them to the professionals who can help determine why they're

00:54:21 --> 00:54:26

acting out if there are actually legitimate behavioral issues that

00:54:26 --> 00:54:29

you have to deal with. But that is what the parent does the parent

00:54:30 --> 00:54:32

who's responsible and who understands that the child is in a

00:54:32 --> 00:54:35

manner from Allah, and that they will be held accountable for their

00:54:35 --> 00:54:40

treatment of that child doesn't look at the child as a burden. And

00:54:40 --> 00:54:43

as you know, just this nuisance that they have to deal with, but

00:54:43 --> 00:54:46

they look at it like this is a trust from Allah and I have to

00:54:46 --> 00:54:49

take care of it. So when I see that child, unable to regulate

00:54:49 --> 00:54:52

themselves or their emotions acting out speaking out or doing

00:54:52 --> 00:54:56

something they shouldn't be doing. I want to fix it, right? That's

00:54:56 --> 00:54:59

different than I want to just subject them to

00:55:00 --> 00:55:03

Have some sort of punishment, and shut them up and get them out of

00:55:03 --> 00:55:07

my face. That's a total different attitudes off the line. So we have

00:55:07 --> 00:55:13

to go back and really, again, have these internal dialogues where we

00:55:13 --> 00:55:16

hold ourselves to account about the choices we make with regards

00:55:16 --> 00:55:22

to our children and protecting them. Because our families, as you

00:55:22 --> 00:55:26

know, shumsa mentioned here, it is the most important unit of our

00:55:26 --> 00:55:30

society. So if we see, our families are breaking down, we

00:55:30 --> 00:55:34

have to determine what the sources are, if our children are not,

00:55:34 --> 00:55:40

again, you know, ping respecting us following our the rules of our

00:55:40 --> 00:55:44

home? What is the reason? Is it because we ourselves are failing

00:55:44 --> 00:55:49

in some capacity? Are we being hypocritical? Are we establishing

00:55:50 --> 00:55:54

the prophetic model of parenting? Or are we just, you know, being,

00:55:54 --> 00:56:00

you know, authoritarians, who are wielding our power and abusing our

00:56:00 --> 00:56:02

power in some cases, and then we're expecting our children to

00:56:02 --> 00:56:07

listen to us? This is a broken system, our kids being influenced

00:56:07 --> 00:56:10

by external sources? And what are those sources? Do we know what

00:56:10 --> 00:56:13

those sources are? Are they from media? Are they from social media?

00:56:13 --> 00:56:16

Are they from, you know, friend groups that that are toxic to

00:56:16 --> 00:56:21

them? How are we protecting our children? Do they? Are they going

00:56:21 --> 00:56:25

into schooling systems that are detrimental to them spiritually?

00:56:25 --> 00:56:28

What are we doing to protect them, so all of this is on us to

00:56:28 --> 00:56:33

determine and to really take seriously because again, the

00:56:33 --> 00:56:37

importance of the family cannot be overestimated. It is the most

00:56:37 --> 00:56:41

important unit. So we have to do everything in our power to protect

00:56:41 --> 00:56:46

it. But it's, it's really a matter of, of doing this type of internal

00:56:47 --> 00:56:51

introspection, analyzing, thinking and holding ourselves to account

00:56:51 --> 00:56:53

So Alhamdulillah this is the end of

00:56:55 --> 00:56:59

today's class, I think, yeah, there's more Inshallah,

00:57:00 --> 00:57:04

that I invite all of you to independently read in those in

00:57:04 --> 00:57:08

that section, the introduction, and then inshallah in two weeks,

00:57:08 --> 00:57:12

when we rejoin, we will start with chapter one, which is on taqwa,

00:57:13 --> 00:57:18

its definition and benefits. So alhamdulillah will, will actually

00:57:18 --> 00:57:23

start the the official text next week. But you know, we did the

00:57:23 --> 00:57:27

introduction on that we did the dependencies. So I look forward to

00:57:27 --> 00:57:31

our next meeting. And I'm going to quickly get out of screenshare

00:57:31 --> 00:57:35

here and see if I see any questions. I think I did go over,

00:57:35 --> 00:57:37

I apologize. For those of you who are

00:57:39 --> 00:57:42

tuning in, but let's see if there are any questions that I can get

00:57:42 --> 00:57:44

to if you give me a moment.

00:58:08 --> 00:58:08

100

00:58:09 --> 00:58:12

Thank you. I see some comments.

00:58:13 --> 00:58:17

Thank you. I believe they came earlier when I began asking about

00:58:17 --> 00:58:21

my screen. So I don't see anything on a Facebook group. But I'll

00:58:21 --> 00:58:23

check the YouTube page as well, because I know we have people

00:58:23 --> 00:58:28

tuning in on different platforms. So I again, don't want to miss any

00:58:28 --> 00:58:31

questions. So bear with me real quickly.

00:58:42 --> 00:58:47

Oh, I hope it doesn't play here. I don't want it to play. I just want

00:58:47 --> 00:58:50

to see if there's any questions. Okay. Alhamdulillah.

00:58:51 --> 00:58:57

So we have a question here. From I think if SR Anjem Can you please

00:58:57 --> 00:58:59

give me an example of raising children outside modern schools?

00:58:59 --> 00:59:04

That's a great, great question. Hamdulillah. You know, we do see a

00:59:04 --> 00:59:09

lot of alternative school systems, a lot of coops, a lot of charter

00:59:09 --> 00:59:10

programs, a lot of

00:59:11 --> 00:59:15

private schools. And people I think are getting even more

00:59:15 --> 00:59:20

creative now that the pandemic is fully underway and they're losing

00:59:20 --> 00:59:25

their maybe patients with with the online virtual public school

00:59:25 --> 00:59:28

systems. I think there are people who are thinking of other ways I

00:59:28 --> 00:59:31

know some people who have actually opted to homeschool. Not

00:59:31 --> 00:59:35

necessarily through a charter or you know, any any government

00:59:35 --> 00:59:39

program, but actually independent homeschooling where they take full

00:59:39 --> 00:59:44

control. And you know, as a as a homeschooling mom, and someone who

00:59:44 --> 00:59:48

has sort of explored all the different options. I think there

00:59:48 --> 00:59:51

is a lot of misconception and fear around homeschooling,

00:59:51 --> 00:59:54

unfortunately and it's sad because when you're actually

00:59:55 --> 00:59:59

you know, come to this side and you see that your children thrive.

01:00:00 --> 01:00:03

Um, and of course, it's hard work, I'm not going to simplify it, you

01:00:03 --> 01:00:08

have to do a lot of the legwork to find the proper resources and the

01:00:08 --> 01:00:13

curriculum and all the stuff that is required to keep your child

01:00:13 --> 01:00:17

active and engaged and tailored for him or her. It takes work but

01:00:17 --> 01:00:21

it comes out we have so many amazing resources. I'm very

01:00:21 --> 01:00:26

fortunate enough to know many, many homeschoolers. Alhamdulillah

01:00:26 --> 01:00:30

we have, you know, there's Kinsey Academy, we have,

01:00:31 --> 01:00:34

let's see, there's I'm trying to think off the top of my head. But

01:00:34 --> 01:00:37

there's a lot of different programs here anyway, that they do

01:00:37 --> 01:00:40

work with parents who are interested in exploring

01:00:40 --> 01:00:45

alternative options. But we have, you know, the East Bay here in the

01:00:45 --> 01:00:48

Bay Area, we have the East Bay homeschooling group, we have the

01:00:49 --> 01:00:53

Silicon Valley homeschooling group, which is based in the

01:00:53 --> 01:00:56

Silicon Valley, we have well, I was part of the Southern

01:00:56 --> 01:00:59

California community for many years, and they have a very large

01:01:00 --> 01:01:04

homeschooling community. Many sisters who've mashallah

01:01:04 --> 01:01:08

successfully homeschool their children from, you know, young

01:01:08 --> 01:01:13

age, I mean, preschool all the way through college, and successful,

01:01:13 --> 01:01:16

amazing stories really, really done a phenomenal job. And they're

01:01:16 --> 01:01:20

available to talk to you and to get ideas from. And they have a

01:01:20 --> 01:01:24

lot of resources online. So I think that the, the fear, we have

01:01:24 --> 01:01:28

to, you know, help people overcome that. It's not like maybe what it

01:01:28 --> 01:01:32

was 2030 years ago, I understand, you know, there, there's certainly

01:01:32 --> 01:01:35

a time or maybe I myself may have looked at the homeschooling and

01:01:35 --> 01:01:37

thought what that sounds so strange, but you know, I'm a

01:01:37 --> 01:01:41

teacher by profession. So I've never really shied away from

01:01:41 --> 01:01:44

teaching, but I know people who tell me, I just don't think I

01:01:44 --> 01:01:47

could ever do that. But from that I've also heard from people who

01:01:47 --> 01:01:51

are fearful and never in a million years thought that they would find

01:01:51 --> 01:01:53

themselves as homeschoolers, but then I'll have

01:01:54 --> 01:01:57

a lot open their heart to the idea and they began to do it. And

01:01:57 --> 01:02:02

suddenly it's they're so overjoyed by all the strides and the

01:02:02 --> 01:02:05

successes that they've seen with their children. So I think every

01:02:05 --> 01:02:08

parent needs to make that decision. But the point I think

01:02:08 --> 01:02:11

that Showhomes was making that Texas to empower parents to start

01:02:11 --> 01:02:17

thinking about their choices, and to see the consequences of some of

01:02:17 --> 01:02:21

those choices and to know that they're all our alternatives. So

01:02:21 --> 01:02:25

that's really what we should take from that, you know, that there

01:02:25 --> 01:02:30

are other options and now 100 Allah, maybe because of the fact

01:02:30 --> 01:02:34

that so many people are exposed to a different form or model of

01:02:34 --> 01:02:38

education, even though it's not necessarily always ideal through

01:02:38 --> 01:02:40

the virtual system, but at least it's something different that

01:02:40 --> 01:02:44

parents can start to think you know, what, maybe I don't need to

01:02:44 --> 01:02:49

rely on this system that I thought was the only option and rather

01:02:49 --> 01:02:52

look at other options because my children their mental well being

01:02:52 --> 01:02:56

their physical well being their safety, their you know, their

01:02:56 --> 01:03:01

their spiritual well being that's the most essential thing is is the

01:03:01 --> 01:03:04

most important thing to preserve and so I need to do my job as a

01:03:04 --> 01:03:07

parent to make sure I can I can do that for them. So in sha Allah,

01:03:08 --> 01:03:11

thank you for the question sister. And I don't know if there's other

01:03:11 --> 01:03:14

questions but I'm assuming because I don't see anymore that that is

01:03:14 --> 01:03:19

all that I have kept you five minutes past the hour but thank

01:03:19 --> 01:03:24

you so much and forgive us for the technical delays. We try every

01:03:24 --> 01:03:28

session to come early figure all of it out, but there always seems

01:03:28 --> 01:03:32

to be something and hamdulillah it's humbling but I appreciate

01:03:32 --> 01:03:36

your patience inshallah. We will see you in two weeks. We will

01:03:36 --> 01:03:39

begin inshallah chapter one on Taqwa. So please if you would like

01:03:39 --> 01:03:42

read ahead, and we'll see you there because I couldn't allow

01:03:42 --> 01:03:46

height and will end in da mismo Hunter him. Well, I said in an

01:03:46 --> 01:03:49

incentive if you host Ilan Edina mn Iwamoto Swati have you with us

01:03:49 --> 01:03:52

who will help you with the rest of the Southern sabbatical of

01:03:52 --> 01:03:56

Morbihan decrescendo in La ilaha illa antenna so Furukawa to make a

01:03:56 --> 01:04:00

lot more cinema cinematic Odyssey than our mold. I never have even

01:04:00 --> 01:04:03

heard Sun Allahu alayhi wa sallam while he was trying to sell him

01:04:03 --> 01:04:07

personally when Capybara and Hyundai i just like marketing and

01:04:07 --> 01:04:10

again I'm gonna be an hour Mubarak to all of you. Inshallah, we'll

01:04:10 --> 01:04:13

see you in a couple of weeks said I want to go to LA he will that I

01:04:13 --> 01:04:14

can do

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