Hatem al-Haj – Manazil as-Sa’ireen #50 – Chapter on Propriety

Hatem al-Haj
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the importance of proper advocates and etiquette in achieving success in life, avoiding fear and hesitation, and balancing fear with comfort. They stress the need for caution and awareness of reality, as well as the importance of praying and prioritizing small small actions. The speakers also emphasize the importance of prioritizing learning and development, holding up for the right reasons, and maintaining a positive attitude.
AI: Transcript ©
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Last summer I said a lot earlier

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to proceed. inshallah, today we have Babel.

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Babel In other words, the chapter on added,

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added does not need to be translated. I think it's

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it's known to all Muslims, but these are some of the possible translations anyway.

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So you could translate this as propriety courtesy decency refinement, proper etiquette.

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Certainly when it comes in the plural form, the plural form of others is

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the plural form is the and when it comes in the plural form, the translation will usually be proper etiquettes proper advocates

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but when it comes in the singular form, you could say decency, refinement, good manners, politeness, courtesy, proper etiquette.

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So, when we talk about the other, you know, what comes to mind is politeness,

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but it is more general than politeness. It's just not only politeness, it is propriety, it is appropriateness, it's being proper being appropriate, which is a little bit more than just politeness, as we will see now, inshallah. And in the session of February we'll talk about, we did not finish our candelabra or the data, we did not finish the part on the pillars and the mandatory actions of an ombre, we went over our current Hadoop data, but we did not finish it. And we will talk about it fell out which is missing the heart and we will also talk about visiting the message of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and the problem of the Prophet sallallahu sallam.

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We will also talk about and how do you feel about hey, we will talk about

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and have you

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offerings comes from God gift, which means gives a gift. And avahi comes from UVA, which means sacrifices so you could translate via sacrificial animals and have the as offerings

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was first here and remember, no line is Bookman, as it is serene said that would have the chapter on propriety.

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Allah has genuine Hafiz Luna, Allah, Allah Almighty said, and those who observe the bounds of Allah and those who observe the bounds of Allah, it's pretty interesting. And you know, it's pretty brilliant also what how he

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particularly quoted this verse, because this verse does not seem to be directly related,

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what half is only those who observe the bounds of a law those who are watchful of the bounds of Allah subhanaw taala

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How about there are two things why mentioned this? One of these two things is that this this is not a very well charted territory, the territory of others is not a very well charted territory there is there is not always an evidence or there is not always a proof that is clear cut. They tell you that this is out of and this is not this is not very

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what the or, you know, this is not proper Adeboye This is proper Abbott.

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So, therefore, he's saying that you do need to be sort of like, you do need to be watched for the you do need to strike that balance, and watch that fine line between excessiveness and laxity between excessiveness and negligence with regard to Adam, because there could be excessiveness and it could be counterproductive.

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The other thing that he the The other reason why is safe mentioned that this particular various because that other particularly for the masters of salute when they talk about that other the want to caution the seekers to to maintain their other was Allah subhanaw taala even if they have a word, even if they have spiritual states that will make them feel in besought which is affability you know, which is that comfort with a loss of kindness.

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They want to make sure that that comfort with Allah subhanaw taala that sort of,

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sort of moist relationship that like, owns that neediness that put

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that in besought affability should not make you transgress the limits and should not make you

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oblivious of or negligent of proper etiquettes with a loss of control, you still need to watch for the bounds and urine besought

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your allows expansion of you to bust bust to hulak your ambisonic your comfort with Allah subhanaw taala your owns

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intimacy or Porter near and this should never make you

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transgress or overstep your limits with Allah subhanaw taala. So, that is why he started the chapter or the station of another by this particular verse, what Hafiz lunula hadoo the law and those who observe the bounds of Allah,

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then the slave started to talk about Adam and he started by the definition and then he will talk about the different degrees and later inshallah we will try to finish this quickly because we wouldn't want to talk about certain pointers, certain guidelines, when it comes certain examples of what proper etiquettes are, particularly with Allah subhanaw taala and then with the Prophet sallallahu sallam, our elders, the rest of the creations and when How should we proceed, when should we stop? How should we talk to each other about how should we be advising each other on this particular issue of having proper advocates with Allah subhanaw taala and his creations

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I should have said that others will have deveined Hello, we will defer morality dot r l o l and others have had added is about observing the bounce heads that had observing the bounce.

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has the means Preserve. You know, it means here to be observant of the bounce.

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Vinyl balloons differ between excessiveness and the fact which is negligence between excessiveness and Lega negligence

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bemaraha teeth are allowed when by recognizing the harm of transgression and we said that the reason why he's talking about the balance is that this is like I said, not a very well charted territory, there are so much adapt that your parents might may have taught you and you look for you know, you may have asked yourself where did where do they bring this stuff up from you know,

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is nothing here in the Qur'an or the sun hour they make stuff up all the time and you know elders in the Masters for instance you do anything you walk a certain way you look a certain way and some someone of you the elders and the master tells you you know, you should not be doing this you should be doing that. And then if you if you demand any proof from them they will fail to give you any proof

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like I said it's uncharted territory. So what should we do about this is what we will discuss inshallah later at the end.

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So he's saying that this is this is about striking the proper balance between excessiveness and negativism So between excessiveness and laxity in your

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treatment and your in your dealings with Allah subhanaw taala and the creations the focus here the focus is here on propriety with Allah subhanaw taala the whole station is about propriety in your dealings with the last one, however,

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is not limited to your dealing with Allah subhanaw taala alone.

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And that is also about how he should have proper etiquettes with his messenger sallallahu sallam, how you should have proper etiquette with his

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symbols, shy and vertical meaning often shy and a life in them and talk about the symbols of Allah.

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Whoever honors the symbols of a life is because it comes from the piety of their hearts, that is honoring the Masters honoring the most half honoring these things that are symbols of Allah and his religion that remind you of Allah subhanaw taala and it is also about having proper etiquette with the creations and not just limited to humanity. Humanity certainly is at the center of this but also to all creations you should have proper etiquettes with

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The just like all of the creations of a last pinata

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keep in mind that when we talk about Adam certain, you know what comes to mind are these things that our elders taught us when we were young

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you know, how you should handle the must have for instance or how you should do this or do that Adam is not limited to these things, Adam is is you will not have proper Adam with a Lost Planet Allah if you violate the obligations

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if you violate the foundations of the dean that is not proper either with a loss. So certainly other the there are parent priorities and it comes with fulfilling the obligations than fulfilling the son and then fulfilling those things that may not be described as obligations or as prescribed the Sunnah. But they come with this intuitive perceptions though, taste, you know that you know this tastes right, this does not taste right. When you are invoking Allah subhanaw taala when you are sitting in the masjid, when you are handling the most of this face, right? There's not a straight This is also part of an added, but it is not just limited to that the you know, the obvious

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obligations, observing the obvious obligations and the obvious sunon as part of it, and it comes first.

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So, then she said, Well, while I said that, and it is of three levels.

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He said that dadada to una mano de la tarde de ilias the first step in preventing fear from turning into despair, preventing fear from turning into despair. Because to have fear that may sound like it's very

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proper right to have fear from Allah subhanaw taala. That's very proper fear of Allah subhanaw taala confident Allah casia you know, which is the 50 fear mixed with recognition. It's the fear of an RFP, the fear of the Gnostics.

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So that seems to be proper, but once it turns into despair, once it becomes crippling, then this is this is not proper etiquette with Allah subhanaw taala because it means what it means that you have bad thoughts about Allah. I mean, if you have excessive fear that is turning into despair, that excessive fear is a sign that you don't have good thoughts of your Lord, that you have that thoughts about your Lord so that is not proper Adam, with Allah subhanaw taala every time you get close to that point of despair, you remind yourself of his vast mercy of his compassion and that removes

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you know that excess that excessive fear from your heart and then the sheriff said we'll have so Raja Raja LLM, perhaps Raja Raja Ram restraining hope from transgressing into the absolute means exit to exit into but here it means transgressing into security or indifference. Your hope is here it is about the balance the balance how to be proper in you're dealing with a Lost Planet, Allah make sure that your fear you have enough fear. Like in Melbourne, semiotic umalas, as even I am quoted from him, he said, the fear that is that is praiseworthy is the fear that will prevent you from transgression preventing you from sin, more than this is not praiseworthy, more than this would

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be having bad thoughts of your Lord, you only need the fear that will prevent you from violation of the sanctities of a loss of pronotal more than this would not be prescribed. The same applies to who you should have hope that will energize you that will

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give you you know, that will empower you. It is the empowering hope. It is not the hope that will lead to negligence or indifference. It is not the hope which is the many wishful thinking you know a lot Masada is all forgiving a lesson of Allah is merciful. And you keep on you know transgressing and you keep on violating his bounds. That is not called hope that is called the many while it is an advantage sell out among many and the largest

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case when done by the multiple artists. So within an outline a mini larges means the

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artist means the incapacitated one or

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it means the imprudent here because the case means the proof

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To one wise prudent one and it is here would mean that the imprudent imprudent one is the one who follows his desires and then, you know, he just has wishful thinking concerning his Lord.

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Because he you know, he keeps on talking about no Farah rock man he is not doing

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he's not basically seeking the means to the mcphatter and the Rama of Allah subhanaw taala as in the Hadith of

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the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said logomania Salah Mooji batty aromatic was a moment of clarity meaning the means to Iraq magma Farah enabled me to do what makes me deserving of your Rama and Farah so I have Suraj if Roger and I'm restraining hope from transgressing into security security here meaning that security with indifference you feel you should feel secure around your Lord. But that's security that good that causes you indifference is the security that is not appropriate. And then the SEC said what up to Suri and Yoda he'll Jorah controlling joy less than becomes audaciousness controlling joy less than becomes audaciousness. So, when you when you have when you

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are in a state of and besought when a light expands you after contraction or not after contractions light expands your meaning expands your chest meaning it causes you or gives you this comfort, this is this you know joy, this nrps and you feel that your relationship with Allah subhanaw taala is great and so on. Just

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be careful

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because because now you should be more watchful

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That is why many of the RFP in the US to say that contraction is better for us than or pub is better for us than bus because the mahkamah bus to the station of bus when teachers when you feel that joy is is very risky. Because you could transgress you you put transgress and you could

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become too audacious in your relationship with Allah subhanaw taala and how you deal with the loss of Connaughton

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and you could also use this state damona bR Allahu Allah nascio you could feel that you are entitled to the state when you feel the scoreboard is near and last minute Allah when you feel certain certain spiritual states certain worry that either here that would come to you certain divine imports that you will receive from Allah subhanaw taala indicating that Allah is pleased with you and allowing make you feel good you know, you have this these moments where you really feel good.

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so sometimes, this could still be a test, this could be still be a test. with Alec It is also always important that we keep in mind how to discern between an Elmo and nacmias See if I am Allah says in the station of Maha Sabha what amigo Namath even anathema to be able to discern between the nama, the favors from Annapurna trials, everything is a trial until you use it well, until you make the best use of it. Not only your wealth and health, but also your thought is a trial because your thought could lead you to transgression could lead you to arrogance could lead you to pride could lead you to prejudice against people, not just that are even the inner states of the heart could be

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trials, not not simply favors, you could have these as well, you could have these interstates and then you the day would make you deviate, swerve from the throttle and stopping

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by feeling to secure by feeling that you have reached your your your you know your goal and that is very dangerous, very risky to feel that you already attained you fulfilled your like your your goals and your objectives.

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By also feeling superior to the people because you will have these as well. And you will look around you and you're like you see the people are in dunk. You know the stress because of different things and you feel pity for them. You know someone who lost his job for instance and fee and is like acting

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as so devastated by it. If he had How could they not have to work or how so that feeling of superiority could

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could could be to your detriment.

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So, even that word, you know, because the inner states were talking about obedience of the exterior is different from the inner states but not only the noun the wealth and health, not even the obedience even that well could still be trials. When a blue combustible, fiery fitna, Elena, Georgia when we test you by that which is good, and that which is bad or evil and good fitna as a trial, or Elena to reach out and to ask you shall return. So

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make sure that you control your joy, less that becomes audaciousness, then a chef in a data center and the second level, the chef will talk about something very abstract.

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But let's just go over it. He says what at Hulu, john and Isla Madani, departing from fear to the arena of contraction,

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was 200, Raja Illa, my dental bus the rising from hope to the arena of expansion, what therapy minister illa maidin and Lucia had ascending from joy to the arena of Musa hada beholding the divine.

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So he's saying that in how Florida These are your own actions, right? In reality, and how Florida are effects, not causes are forms not reality. So he's telling you now, you will have to be more thoughtful.

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And you will have to be more sort of

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more aware of the realities, not just the forums, the realities, not just the forums, your health is only a manifestation, not reality. yourself is a manifestation of a last contraction of you of the healer. Your health is just a manifestation of him his problems.

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He causes you this contraction, this constriction, you feel tightness in your chest and then you're anxious, worried, afraid. So your fear is just a manifestation of his constriction of your chest, causing the tightness of so here you are moving from watching your own action to watching is actually from watching the effect watching the cause for mastering the manifestation to watching the illness itself. Or the the reality that resulted in that manifestation.

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So from images to realities, images and forums, three was so Donna Raja Ella Mae dental bust rising from hope to the arena of expansion. The same applies here urologia your hope is but his expansion, you know, or is causing you discomfort in your heart or your chest what therapy minister in a major Shahada ascending from joy to the arena of Masada beholding the divine. And when you when you behold the divine,

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with the eyes of your heart, that beholding that Shahada, that she

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will eclipse the joy of, you know, your hand besought or the joy of your thought or the joy of anything that you had before the are the wonder of beholding the divine, when it connects to that joy. So that joy will, it will be just like the light of the candle next to the light of the sun.

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And then he says what dadada to Sally sama refer to the other. The third level is recognition of other regulation of truth true meaning of others that is fulfillment of the station by looking from, you know, looking at the previous two levels from the top and to fulfill the station. And then he said something funny on it to add to the bellhop banishment of others through the deep or the refinement refinement by the true curry one. If you think that you have redefined yourself, then you do not belong to this category whatsoever. You do not belong to this level whatsoever. You're not watching here d of yourself you're not watching your dad do the absolute meaning. He self

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refinement, you're watching his deep of you, you're watching his refinement of you.

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So you're not attributing anything you're not taking credit. You know, for anything, you know, taking credit, you know for anything, is like a rooster taking credit for the sunrise.

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You don't you know the rooster is not really in charge of anything. Is he does not bring the sun up.

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mm is

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That is our condition, you know, whatever we accomplish, even an hour of obedience, even an hour, whatever we accomplish, that comes from Allah and we should be grateful to Allah subhanaw taala so many people around you that are smarter than I have not been given that selfie, so many people around you

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that think of themselves as more deserving, that have not been given the trophy. If we were given a trophy, then we should be thankful for a loss.

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Then the sheikh said some classmates who are bad other breathing oneself from the burdens of Adam braiding oneself from the burdens of Adam, that is, you know, we, we as we always said, This third level is the level of finance the level of self annihilation, this is the solution of the self, when you dissolve into

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the divine through the process of Finance. We talked about what is swingy and what is better in this regard. And we talked about that and financial food

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versus for Jude, we talked about the creations and the creator being different We are the creations He created us were real creations because our Creator is the real creator. He brought us to existence.

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what what finance is about is about your irata being subservient, rather being in complete conformity with his herrada subhanho wa Taala. With his will, soprano tala, your desires are compliant with his intent of you and so on and so forth that he or she would, you're beholding give him distracts you from beholding a silver, everything else. So the art and the splendor of beholding the divine distracts you from watching anything around you. But then so now let's talk about you know, some some pointers here concerning the station of other

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so I'll add

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when it comes to Allah subhanaw taala you know,

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if you can you can you pray and thank you.

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Yes, you can. Can you play in shorts? They're down to your knees? Yes, you can.

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Is that really? Like, do you really find it very proper to stand up? And like if you're going to do like to order cars in the time of Sahar wake up in the Sahara make good will do and two or 1000 times haha.

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What do you put on your tank tops?

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and shorts and shorts, you know, not short shorts, but, you know, down to the knee?

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You're probably not going to do that. Right? You're gonna really find, probably find the better attire to pray.

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Where is it? So? Where's that come from? It comes it's it is not directly revealed. It is inferred from his saying, who knows enough to comment equitymaster adorn yourself at every message, which means that every Pray,

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pray prayer when you pray.

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So then when you are standing before our last one another when you're praying, and you're standing before our last one, I thought about it the fact that I have seen some of the righteous people that they were reaching for their nose and they held their hands before it got to their nose. So to pick your nose when you're praying, is that really proper?

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But we will talk about we will talk about guidelines later. I'm just giving you examples. But we will talk about guidelines later and when will you override some of these other for like something else? That is more important. But when you're standing in prayer, it's not really proper. Keep in mind

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your your soul

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It's lucky for about a year there is this this subtle,

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new noorani like subtle entity that Allah subhanaw taala created that is called your soul. But in addition to this Your soul is an amalgam of intuitions, inclinations, feelings, thoughts and experiences and counters. So when we say in a salon Vanhanen Paseo Monica salon for, you know, forbids evil and obscene

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And lewdness and so on. This is really a read.

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If your Salah is proper Salah every encounter with the absolute, the infinite, the the divine every encounter will take part in shaping your soul. Your Spirit is an amalgam of all of those experiences. Can you imagine the impact of your experience with the divine with the the impact of your

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dialogue, or your conversation, your subtle your mana Jeff, which is the subtle, soft conversation with a divine. If you abide by proper etiquette in this Salah proper etiquette in this Allah, you see where we put our hands, whether you put them here or here doesn't matter, but you put them in a way that to demonstrate politeness.

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So when you when you do your Salah in the proper way this encounter this manager with the divine, the absolute, the infinite.

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The perfect will certainly have an impact on your soul, it's a cumulative impact. Can it be instantaneous? Yes. And can it be enormous like after once a lot it did for many of their predecessors it did for many of the righteous people. But even if it doesn't do that effect that effects so dramatically and so quickly for us. Keep in mind that with more data and to continue to perform your Salah with propriety appropriateness and so on, the cumulative effect will show on you after some years. Yes, would it be worth it? Absolutely. That is a

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it's a cumulative process, you know, prosperus is he or he or she OPR, of purified, purified his soul, because that's all is not

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It there there is an entity like created that's called your soul, I'm not denying that is not just an amalgam of experiences. But it is, in addition to this, an amalgam of those intuitions, and thoughts and feelings and encounters and experiences that that you developed over time. That is why it ended up in the highest level today. And that is why what matters is the endings, not the beginnings. Because at your ending, that soul will be different from the one that you are given in the beginning. And that is all the work that you're doing. You're causing parts of your you're causing, you're fighting some of your bad inclinations, and you're promoting some of your good

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inclinations. And through the process of refinement to absorb through the process of this gear, you know,

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you will get to that point where you you know, at the end of your life, you return to a Lost Planet Allah after having the data, you know,

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after having purified that soul that he had given you, he had given it to you with different inclinations. But he's all fair. He's all just he did not give you sort of answer insurmountable or

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or unconquerable challenges. He gave you challenges that you can conquer, that he gave you strengths as well to conquer those challenges. But at the end of the day, he gave us different types of challenges, different weaknesses, different strengths and so on.

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every encounter with a less monotonic with

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every every prayer will, will change our spirit will change our soul, if it is done properly, if it is done properly

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and that does not have an effect on your dealings with people. Absolutely. It will have an effect on your dealings with people if it is not then your Salah is defective then it is not working. Then you need to figure out how to make it work you need to pay more attention to your Salah. Now this is just like a few examples with in terms of propriety with a loss mortalities here Brahim Allah is Allah is America for high speed and when I become sick, he cures me. So he attributed the sickness themselves even though it's a law gives him sickness and alive gives him health, but he attributed the sickness themselves. You see how the FDA to arriba medical field and hospital

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fara darbuka

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rejections, ferrata and arriba. I want

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wanted to make the you know the ship defective I wanted to make this hole in the ship to make it defective. He did not say if any if your board wanted to make it defective because that

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he doesn't want to attribute the effectiveness the the wanting to make something defective that his Lord but when he talked about our other bukannya greater concern I wanted the two orphans, to reach their age of maturity and be able to extract their treasure and so on he attributed to the Lord. proper etiquette, proper etiquette in talking about Allah subhanaw taala no shadow of a evil does not need to be attributed to you even though we know he's the Creator of all things, but proper advocates, then proper etiquettes with a messenger with their with the symbols of Allah subhanaw taala you see when they the symbols that the most reference is one of the greatest symbols of a Lost

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Planet Allah is the Messiah. So when our elders tell us, you know, for the most half on the top shelf, don't put the most half on the lower ship.

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You will tell them where did you know who told you where the Did you bring this from? But but that is that is the idea of the idea of intuitive perception. And people who are proper as though they will feel that the most happier should be put on the top shelf should not be put on the lower scale.

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The prophet SAW Allah not at all so the Vanakkam could ye Barbican Baba, don't make the calling of the messenger among you like you're calling one another. There are two different interpretations of here It could mean that don't make his calling of you like so don't make his commandments like everybody else's commandments.

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Or don't make you know your calling of him like your calling of any one among you. So don't speak don't say to me Mohamed Salah, Salah. But say rasulillah Yeah, you have to be etc. So, but if but this is about conversing with the profit zone director, but if we're talking about her, you know, sometimes people say Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam said this, and it makes me cringe. And I can't tell you what, it just makes me cringe. Like,

00:37:23 --> 00:38:07

it doesn't sound right. I know that you're saying so the law is silent. But, you know, why didn't you say recital or in the VSL or salon or something? You could sometimes say in in the proper context, there is a context of glorification tasleem exaltation has hammered on salaria salon portfolio. You know, if someone tells you how come you're doing this, you you say, probably Mohammed Al Salam before me, Mohammed Al Salam did this, that is our context of exaltation, then it may not be improper, it is fine in that context of exaltation, you know, to mention his name in that context, the resignation, it may not be proper, but you're just talking about the Prophet sallallahu

00:38:07 --> 00:38:10

sallam, he, you know, just just say,

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is a prophet Mohammed say the Prophet say the Messenger of Allah say anything.

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And I'm not going to be able to produce evidence for you. I'm just telling you that this is that though, you know, is like

00:38:27 --> 00:38:56

certainly we can say that a company has been promoted like that it company up inside our lives, it couldn't have been permitted to be whoever honors the sanctities of Alliance better for them with their Lord whatever honor whoever honors the symbol of Allah tala. It is, it comes from the party of their hearts. But at the end of the day, someone will say what made doesn't look like a problem for me, and I know you're using this very liberally, but I'm using liberal.

00:38:58 --> 00:39:22

But, you know, I am just using the inferences from the I know, it could not not be explicit implication, or another, you know, any of the implications that are sort of hardcore implications of the I'm just using the inferences from the anyone. So that is a proper etiquette, the proper etiquette don't are not limited to this, there are proper advocates with human beings, you know,

00:39:25 --> 00:39:56

are so many advocates with a human being, you know, there's so many other with human beings that we were thought some of them some of them, some of them, you cannot produce a proof for like some of our rights predecessors for instance, when they used to give charity to someone, they used to put the money in their hand like this and give it like this so that they make the right their hand, the lower one, not the upper one. So that they are given the charity to the poor.

00:39:59 --> 00:39:59


00:40:00 --> 00:40:27

As if they weren't receiving it, so that we don't feel them, you know, they're not forced the poor to have their hand stretched out like this like the lower hand. And then they put the money like this, that's proper advocate with people can you prove this to me? No, I can't but, but that is something that we have learned from our righteous predecessors and something that we can certainly church and

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and let try to live up to. So these are all proper advocates. Now.

00:40:35 --> 00:40:43

The examples look just like a few examples of advocates with a last fall and the creations you see in

00:40:46 --> 00:40:50

there are so many proper ethics advocate advocates who've had

00:40:51 --> 00:40:57

with livestock cattle, animals in general that we should follow with

00:40:59 --> 00:41:02

even talk about you know, the how,

00:41:06 --> 00:41:06

you know,

00:41:09 --> 00:41:22

back then, they used to use anything to wipe themselves if you go to the bathroom, for instance, and if you have like a cow, next to you or something, some people may have used the tail of the cow or something. And

00:41:25 --> 00:41:53

so they talk about how this is not proper etiquette, you know, they they do the, you know, the the details of FERPA sometimes you could be overwhelming for students. But sometimes it's, it's beautiful, because it it gives you the details give you that depth and that width of the, you know, the Sharia, so that they say that this is not proper, you should not be here

00:41:55 --> 00:41:58

or the order bones, you know, certainly.

00:41:59 --> 00:42:09

But particularly a living behemoth like an ally vehement you should show respect to the Hema to the capital to capital, and you should not be doing this.

00:42:11 --> 00:42:26

So, I just wanted to mention, because it's an interesting example. Anyway, so these are all proper advocates, and we have to maintain the product. We don't have to have the resolve to maintain proper advocates, with the last minute thought and with all the creations

00:42:27 --> 00:42:39

how do we proceed? We proceed gently because in the habit, Dena Mateen, even though that is controversial, but certainly the meaning is valid, and have been on the team for our will fee but if our low fee, there are

00:42:41 --> 00:42:42

no one better than Qatada.

00:42:43 --> 00:42:47

This thing is strong, this Dean is vast, this Dean is huge.

00:42:50 --> 00:43:01

So proceed, gently, proceed gently, because the one who overworks his horse will not cover any distance and will not keep his horse alive, will kill his horse and not covered any distance.

00:43:03 --> 00:43:09

So proceed gently. Second, prioritize. And when you prioritize

00:43:10 --> 00:43:50

your certainly it is not properly kids with the last one are allowed to violate the obligations. And it would be superfluous to be like almost hypocritical to to like to sort of observe the nitty gritty of add up and you're already you're violating obligations and you're violating the you know, automatic laws, or the clear cut automatic of Allah subhanaw taala. So prioritize. But prioritize does not mean that you walk back on your adapt, because there are certain stuff that you already learned, your parents already taught you those other than your elders already taught you those. Don't walk back on them, because you're not up to them.

00:43:52 --> 00:44:02

You already learned them, they become second nature, keep them. But when you're working on yourself your own refine your refinements you have to prioritize you have to start by the things that are most important.

00:44:04 --> 00:44:07

When you are teaching your kids, you know, you don't

00:44:08 --> 00:44:42

you don't follow a particular chronology firmly because when you are teaching your kids, it is not about the importance of what you're teaching them. It is about their developmental stage, their developmental phase, how can they learn this now? Is this the proper time to teach them? So sometimes you may teach them that that's sort of the most subtle adab before the greatest obligations? Yes, because it is appropriate for the developmental stage stage of development.

00:44:43 --> 00:44:48

So prioritize but keep these caveats in mind, you're not walking back home.

00:44:49 --> 00:44:59

And when it comes to kids, you're teaching them whatever is appropriate for their phase of development, not following a particular structure.

00:45:02 --> 00:45:32

faithfully, then. So we said that you'll do this. And then when it comes to this concept of instantiation, instantiation of values and concepts, you know, which isn't a very important concept. And the instantiation of the of the of Adam, cannot be found in the liberal model than the profit or loss. So we've inherited a lot of that, because this is huge.

00:45:33 --> 00:46:09

Like, history legacy is vast. So in order for you not to overwhelm yourself, just start with the things that you started with the obligations then the sermon and then the adapt that we have the subtle adapt that we have learned from, you know, the province of Saddam, which would be which would qualify a sermon, and then the Sahaba and then the Tabby. So start from the top down, you know, if you will have to give more attention to certain adapt, start from the verb of the Sahaba and then the tiger in that would be the proper order.

00:46:11 --> 00:46:12

When should you stop?

00:46:14 --> 00:46:22

When should you stop, stop if the become overwhelming or impractical, stop if they become overwhelming or impractical.

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Like we talked about not picking your nose, that's a good thing to learn. Because, you know, it's good to learn this and prayer that you hold your hand, you start picking your nose so that you could avoid picking your nose in public. You know, every encounter was a divine will have an impact on your spirit, your soul, your behavior, your conduct, on who you are. So that's a good it's a good opportunity. It's good for training, so that you could maintain propriety at all times. But if your nose is really itching you and your prayers they just go on to be ruined because you're you're scared you're will have to do something, try to do the if you have to pick your nose then pick your

00:47:12 --> 00:47:12


00:47:17 --> 00:47:50

Because here what is more important is your horseshoe on your concentration here focusing the prayer is more important than this Adam, it is an added for sure. But what's more important here is for sure. So do not let the adept overwhelm you or keep you from progress. also keeping you from quantitative progress. Sometimes when a Lost Planet Allah says in Surah mirandola Venus chronolock Yamanaka Mahajan, obey those who may executor of Allah subhanaw taala standing sitting down on the sides

00:47:51 --> 00:48:07

on your site here like you're making exactly what would be the most proper way of making executor other of making sick, they sit down, you know, facing the Qibla in proper attire facing table was blue and everything, you know, proper.

00:48:08 --> 00:48:35

advocates are making thick, but here Allah subhanaw taala is saying that they are the ones who mentioned Allah subhanaw taala at all times. Yes, because if we limit victory to this best form, then that will keep us from progress that will keep us from earning Asana that will keep us from the remembrance of Allah subhanaw taala like I said, Can Allah Allah, Allah, Allah, the Messenger of Allah Azza wa sallam used to

00:48:36 --> 00:48:47

remember Allah in all conditions. So if the if if maintaining proper advocates will keep us from progress then then no

00:48:48 --> 00:49:02

progress is more important will keep us from something that is more valuable such as you know for sure on Salah, that no assurance Allah if it becomes overwhelming, you feel overwhelmed, don't allow yourself to become overwhelmed by

00:49:03 --> 00:49:13

the because a lot is not 100 from you a lot is not one to the stress or machaca or hardship for you and he made this thing easy.

00:49:15 --> 00:49:16


00:49:18 --> 00:49:37

you also stop, he also stopped if the adapt are taking away from your relationship with Allah subhanaw taala if they dried out your relationship with Allah, if observing the adapt is keeping you from that proximity from that closeness from that owns from that comfort from that affability from them and besought

00:49:39 --> 00:49:50

it and causing your relationship with the last one I found it to be stiff. If If observing all of the above is causing your relationship to be stiff, then lighten your burden.

00:49:51 --> 00:49:59

You know, take off some of the burden so that your relationship with ally and your walk in this journey

00:50:00 --> 00:50:00

is not

00:50:03 --> 00:50:05

you're not being

00:50:06 --> 00:50:07

kept behind

00:50:09 --> 00:50:13

or overwhelmed by the burdens of these.

00:50:16 --> 00:50:32

So, these are things that will will make us overlook the adapts sometimes make sure you know you overlook them if they keep you from progress if they hurt your relationship with a last minute Allah if they overwhelm you

00:50:34 --> 00:50:38

finally, how do we talk to each other about those other

00:50:39 --> 00:50:46

and then also with with other than Allah subhanaw taala remember the story the story is reported as

00:50:48 --> 00:51:03

you know, the authenticity itself could be in question but isn't actually reported that in with our kid, it's about you know, our our attitudes, our elders, for instance, we have to strike the balance, so that our adult with our elders does not mean that we become

00:51:05 --> 00:51:10

blind followers of anyone save the Prophet sallallahu sallam.

00:51:12 --> 00:51:17

So, an hour other with our elders also should not make us

00:51:19 --> 00:51:24

oblivious of their shortcomings. Some of our elders may have shortcomings.

00:51:26 --> 00:51:48

And even if our elders did not have shortcomings, but the other is becoming impractical, then then you don't observe the Sabbath. That is that is causing harm that is causing harm. So he does not know the law and I'll tell you as an example, it was reported by the machete and revealed abroad, he said and methodical, methodical was one of the good

00:51:49 --> 00:52:04

to see. Good Bessie beside Caleb's or fella Bessie. And he was sitting one day with his entourage and he said to them, Do you know why the people resented us man, when he first

00:52:05 --> 00:52:09

took, you know, they are seated,

00:52:10 --> 00:52:16

ascended to the seat of khilafah. They said no. And he said, because the Prophet sallallahu Sallam

00:52:17 --> 00:52:18

because when Abu Bakr

00:52:21 --> 00:52:55

became the Khalifa, he and when he rose on to the member of the Prophet sallahu wa sallam, he took one step below the Prophet, he stood up on one step below the Prophet sallallahu Sallam one step below the Prophet sallallahu sallam. And then when Omar became the Khalifa, he stood one step below about buck raviolo and then when I was man became the halifa. He went up all the way to this step where the prophet SAW said I'm used to stand he stood on the step that the Prophet was what I'm used to stand on.

00:52:57 --> 00:53:04

So that is why the people resented him when he first became the Khalifa. So one of the audience set

00:53:06 --> 00:53:14

hero meaningless I have ever been on a Kevin Costner fella who like and I couldn't imagine on

00:53:15 --> 00:53:18

Harmon amen couple of America. Raja

00:53:20 --> 00:53:23

fellow follows adicolor contemporary Amata tournament very general.

00:53:25 --> 00:53:36

So he said, No, no one had done you a greater favor the last man. Because if that trend continued, and everybody first stood on a step below the previous Khalifa,

00:53:37 --> 00:53:45

by your time you would have been given us the hotbar from the will of Allah, which was a deep well,

00:53:46 --> 00:53:52

you know, maybe we would have had to make a hole for you in the ground, to give us the hope.

00:53:53 --> 00:54:40

So that is striking the balance. Abu Bakr did this, it was beautiful, of abubaker to do it, show that yeah, it was beautiful of armor to do it. It was also beautiful of us man to do what he did, because, you know, now we've registered we've learned the lesson that I will block her daughters, but we can keep on going down because the member was there to insert so that you can be seen the member was made, so that the whole team can be seen. And a fourth man you know stood on the ground or you know, the the first step the will be counterproductive the member was not made for it. So a member was made to elevate you so that you could be seen. So now as men decided that the proper

00:54:40 --> 00:54:43

thing to do is just go back up to the third step.

00:54:47 --> 00:54:59

Is that clear? It's obvious, you know, so your main to maintain those as much as you can without causing you know, harm or missing out on something else.

00:55:00 --> 00:55:43

is more important, or hurting your relationship with Allah subhanaw taala? How do we talk to each other about the first, don't always ask for hardcore evidence because people will not be able to produce hardcore evidence for you. If it sounds right, if it feels right. If it feels like this would be proper etiquette, just do it. If you can, if you can, that's fine. I mean, unless it is something that we were instructed to do, by the prophet sallallahu sallam, and if it is obligatory, it's obligatory if it is recommended that it is recommended, but if it is not, that it is just someone telling you, you know, you probably should not be doing this. Just do it if you can, if you

00:55:43 --> 00:56:05

can, if it feels right, sounds right. If you can, do Don't do it, but don't always be asking for hardcore evidence, because most of us stuff is can be inferred from his saying, other than medical, when you have an automatic law, he, Ohio law and all of the whoever honors the sanctity of a law, it's better for them with their Lord.

00:56:06 --> 00:56:37

Then it is also important for the people who teach others about adab and instruct others in the right adapt, to not use for support or a certain language. These things are subject as subjective. Yes, they are subjective. Don't use force for language, don't use any condemnation. Don't you know be too demanding again, don't come to someone who is sitting you know, in the method, you've never seen him before. And talk to him about that you don't know who that person is or you don't know his

00:56:39 --> 00:57:27

stage of spiritual development. And you don't know either this person may not be praying you know is not proper chronology to be talking to him or order prioritization to be talking to him now, about them. So, but if you know your your your brother and you wanted to share something or righteous predecessors thought us or our elders thoughts about proper adapt, that is fine, you could share with your brother You know, whom you know, and you expect that he is there, you know, who could benefit from this. So share it with them. So, it is a we have to have proper etiquette when we talk about advocates on both ends, there is this sending the end and the receiving end, you know, the

00:57:27 --> 00:57:43

sending end and the receiving end don't ask for hardcore evidence, but also don't use a certain language and understand that these things are very subjective, unless the instructions that have come in the Quran or the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu Pali

00:57:44 --> 00:57:44


00:57:48 --> 00:58:18

and when it comes to the condemnation, also, I talked to you about tank tops and and talk to you about, you know, shorts, if like a group of people, like a group of youngsters from high school, come here and play basketball and then they walk into the masjid, to pray. Don't reprimand them? You know, don't you know? Just give them grief. Because he is it is probably better to put on something but if that will keep the kids from coming, or the youngsters from coming to the masjid.

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Or if it will make them come to the muscle and play basketball and then walk away without praying, then that's counterproductive. Yes, it proper adapt is to be in your best attire, when you pray. But if someone is coming from their mechanic shop, they're probably not in their best attire. And if you know, certainly, if they are not going to cause like, you know, they're not going to cause physical harm to the method.

00:58:51 --> 00:59:31

Then they should not be deterred or discouraged from this, if someone is was playing basketball or out right out there and then they walked in because there was the time of Salah don't discourage them. So, you have to strike the right balance and it is very context dependent. And it is very also dependent on the individual and the stage of spiritual development of that individual. So be flexible in accepting advice and be prudent and flexible in giving advice about these other quality others

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